Desolation Song
by Chimera64
Summary: Story of a survivor who meets up with the group after the CDC incident in S1. OC and Daryl mostly, with others mixed in. This story is ongoing through the events in Season 2 so it will have spoilers from season 1, 2 and the graphic novel.
1. Chapter 1

She had been walking for what seemed like years, wondering if she was the only one left. Her bag was cutting into her shoulder, she hadn't slept more than a few hours all week and she was sweating as she cursed the heat that still gripped the area even though, according to her calculations, it was September. That confirmed her suspicions that she was still deep in the South. The ground tilted and she stumbled, wondering if it was time to give in and admit that this attempt at survival was looking more like slow starvation. She thought that she heard people talking, but she didn't get her hopes up, she was fairly certain that she was hallucinating anyway.

She wasn't sure exactly how it happened, but she found herself on her ass a few seconds later, staring up at the business end of a crossbow. There was a man behind it, but she wasn't exactly focused on him.

"I'm not infected," she squeaked out. When the bow didn't move, she cleared her throat and tried to pitch her voice louder. It came out close to a yell this time. "I'm not infected!"

"Be quiet," the man ordered.

She bit her lip; he was right. A loud noise would bring those things down on them. She hadn't meant to be so loud, it had just been a while since she'd needed to speak and she'd forgotten what a normal level felt like. Also her throat was as dry as dust.

"How do I know that?" he asked.

"I…"she began, but she was cut off when several other people appeared from the brush.

"For God's sake, Daryl!" a dark haired woman said. "She's just a girl!"

"A girl that could be infected," the guy with the crossbow, apparently named Daryl, said.

"So you knock her down and threaten her with a crossbow?" a tall guy with thick, curly dark hair asked, crossing his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow.

"You got a better idea?" Daryl asked.

"Well, you could try talking to her like a reasonable individual," another man said.

"This ain't the time to be reasonable," Daryl said heatedly. "We got people to protect at that camp back there…"

His words were cut off by the general wave of argument as the woman and the dark haired guy started hissing recriminations at him.

"He's right!"

The voice at their feet stopped the argument. The girl had propped herself on her elbows to look up at them better.

"One scratch or bite and I could infect your whole camp. You should know that."

She met Daryl's eyes as he stared at her in surprise.

"I don't mind you checking me over," she said. "It makes sense."

Daryl took a step toward her; Shane yanked him back and said, "If anybody should do it, it should be an officer of the law."

Daryl started to argue, but the quieter guy said, "Or she might feel more comfortable letting a woman do it. Lori?"

The dark haired woman nodded and the girl on the ground stretched her hand up. Daryl reacted first, grabbing it and tugging her to her feet. She was light as a feather.

"Damn girl," he said. "Don't you eat?"

To everyone's surprise, she smiled at him.

"Every chance I get," she answered. "It's just that my favorite restaurants all seem to have closed lately. Middle class America dropped the ball on teaching the average citizen to hunt."

"Well, lucky for both of us, I ain't never been middle class," Daryl answered. "When Lori gets done friskin' you, come to the fire. I was huntin' all last night; I'll put some meat on those bones."

"Sounds good to me!" she said as Lori shooed the men away from the clearing.

He glanced back once as he walked away, feeling unexpectedly disappointed that he wasn't going to get to be the one to check the skinny girl for Walker bites.

"That's the longest sentence I've ever heard Daryl say that didn't involve swearing," Lori said. "My name is Lori, by the way, and the other two were Rick and Shane."

"Which is which?" the girl asked, taking a deep breath and pulling her shirt off, so that the woman could see that she was bite and scratch free.

"Rick, my husband, has the blue eyes; Shane…was the dark haired one. He and Rick were police officers so that should make you feel safe," she motioned for the girl to turn and eyed her. She really was skin and bones. She barely had any breasts and Lori could count her ribs. It was almost painful to look at her. She was also armed to the teeth with throwing knives, much to Lori's surprise. There were several different sheaths and they were all full. "What's your name?"

The girl shrugged and tugged her jeans down pivoting once more to show Lori that she was unscathed.

"Does it matter?" she asked with a shrug.

"Well what do we call you?" Lori said, unsure how to reply.

The girl raised her eyebrows and said, "Do I pass inspection? Whatever Daryl is cooking smells really good!"

"Yes," Lori said, handing the girl her shirt. "Follow me. You can eat and meet the rest of the group."

"Sounds good," she answered, hoping that she could make it to the fire on her shaky legs.

Just as she thought that, the man Lori had called Shane came back through the bushes.

"All done?" he asked.

"Yeah," Lori said. "I can handle this, Shane."

The girl looked between the two briefly and then said, "Everything's fine. Officer…?"

"You don't have to call me that; Shane is fine," he said, offering her his arm. "You looked a little shaky when I left. I thought you might need someone to lean on."

"Thanks," she said, looping her arm through his, happy to have some support.

She heard Lori take in a deep breath, but Shane started walking before she could say whatever she wanted to say. She stumbled, trying to keep up with him and he picked her up without breaking stride. She gasped and he gave her a grin.

"How long has it been since you've eaten?" he asked.

"A while," she said, feeling uncomfortable being this close to a total stranger. "But I haven't had any water today either. I think that's the problem."

"What the hell, Walsh?" Daryl's voice came from behind her, near the fire.

"I'm just being a gentleman," Shane answered, putting her down gently in front of a plate. "You don't recognize it?"

She discovered that Shane was one of those guys who smirked. She hated guys who smirked.

Daryl dropped a hunk of meat onto her plate and she took it so quickly that she burned her fingers and her tongue. She didn't care.

"Ohhhh god," she mumbled around the mouthful. "Oh god, Daryl, that's so good!"

"Well, if you like that, you're gonna love this," he said, handing her a cup of water, wondering if her voice was always that throaty or if she was just dehydrated. He found himself hoping it would stay the way it was.

She grinned before chugging it down. He watched her, thinking that, aside from the fact that she was so thin he was worried that she'd shatter, she was actually pretty hot. She had huge dark eyes and a pointed chin, pale skin and long wavy hair that would have been pretty if it was clean. He couldn't even tell what color it was underneath all that dirt.

"What is it?" she asked.

Her voice was that throaty. Daryl belatedly realized that he'd been staring and said, "Nothin' why?"

She shrugged and said, "Is there more water?"

"Yeah," he took her cup and went to get it, hoping that no one would tell her that she was eating squirrel. She was enjoying her meal so much and everybody had been surprisingly resistant to eating squirrel last month. Their opinions had changed due to food shortages.

She was finishing the meat on her plate when the other officer walked up and sat down beside her.

"How are you feeling?" Rick asked.

"Okay," she said. "Glad to be eating. And sitting. And drinking," she said with a nod to Daryl when he brought the cup back.

"I'm sure Lori told you my name," Rick continued, "but I wanted to introduce myself officially. I'm Rick Grimes, Lori is my wife, and my son Carl is over there." He gestured to a boy playing in the firelight with a small Matchbox car. "We wondered if you were up to some introductions."

"Sure," she said. "Bring 'em on!" She wondered if Rick was aware that he was still doing that cop thing where they asked you a question, but you knew that your answer didn't matter.

He waved the group over and they stepped forward one by one.

"I'm Carol Peletier," a woman with a practically shaved head said. "And this is my daughter Sophia."

"Hey," she said, shaking hands with Carol and smiling at Sophia. "It's nice to meet you." She meant it, she'd always been good with kids and she'd missed having them around.

"I'm Dale," an older man with a white beard said, as he stepped up and shook her hand. "And this is Andrea." A blonde woman, older than her but younger than Dale stepped forward. Her smile looked friendly, if sad.

A big black guy stepped forward and introduced himself as T-dog, then a young Asian guy introduced himself as Glenn.

"And the rest of us you know," Shane said. "Me, Shane Walsh, and…him," he said with a nod to Daryl.

"Daryl Dixon," Daryl said, irritated with the off-hand way Shane was talking about him.

"What should we call you?" Andrea asked.

She just shrugged again as she said, "I never liked my name much; I think I'll just leave it in the rubble that is our society."

"But we have to call you something," Sophia said.

She just shrugged and took another long drink. Lori, who had brought Carl over when everyone had gathered, looked at her, wondering what the girl had to hide. And what was with all those knives? She decided to have a word with Rick at the earliest opportunity.

"Where can I sleep?" she asked awkwardly.

_"With me, darlin'"_ Daryl was so surprised by the thought that he actually looked around the table. He hadn't been this instantly attracted to any girl ever. Maybe it was because she looked so fragile. She appealed to his protective side; an appeal he was determined to shut down. There was no way he was going to consign himself to worrying over her fate. He looked down at his own cup of water, resolved to ignore her.

"The R.V. has some room," Andrea said. "You could come in with us. We still have a working shower too."

Daryl was irritated by how relieved he was; he'd been afraid Shane would volunteer.

"Come on," Dale said. "I'll show to your new home."

She settled in to the R.V., happy to be able to get a shower and a decent night's sleep. Just as her eyes closed, she thought about Daryl Dixon. He was older than the guys she usually found attractive, but she thought he was a good looking guy…practical…and she loved the way he handled that bow. She smiled to herself as she drifted off.

"Rick?" Lori said after Carl had gone to sleep.

"What?" he asked.

"What do you think of the new girl?" she said.

"She sure needs to put on a few pounds," Rick said, thinking of the painfully thin girl. "Why?"

"I think she's hiding something," Lori said. "You need to find out what it is."

"Hiding something?" Rick repeated.

"Yes! Why won't she tell anyone her name? And what's with all the knives? I don't trust her, Rick!"

"Fine," he said. "I'll talk to her. I'm going to give her some time to settle in first, that's all. Maybe she'll open up on her own."


	2. Chapter 2

As the days passed, her real name wasn't forthcoming. She earned a new one however. She hummed or sang softly whenever she worked, no matter what she was doing and Dale began referring to her as The Songbird.

It stuck and she couldn't help but smile whenever she heard it.

"So, Songbird," Shane said one evening. "What's with all the knives?"

"I throw them," she answered, licking her fingers clean.

Sophia had informed her that she was eating squirrel a few days ago and, while it wasn't something she would have thought to eat before, she couldn't deny that it filled her up as well as anything else. When she'd thanked Daryl for it, he'd muttered something noncommittal and walked away, which was briefly confusing to her, especially since everyone else in the camp seemed to consider it the social interaction of the year.

"How good are you?" Carl asked.

"Good enough," she said with a smile. "It's saved my life a time or two."

"Really?" Daryl couldn't resist the question.

He hadn't had much of a chance to talk with her lately. She was sleeping in the camper; he slept in the bed of his truck and somehow Shane was always around her. That got under his skin like nothing else that prick did.

She hadn't put on much weight from eating the game he brought in which worried him a little bit when he let himself think about it. He looked at her in the firelight; the last time the women had done laundry, so her clothes were as clean as anybody else's clothes ever got. She was wearing a green tee shirt that he could tell had been fitted at one point, but now hung on her skinny frame, and dark jeans that she had to keep a grip on most of the time so they didn't slide right off. That girl had no ass, something that would normally have been a big turn off for him.

Daryl wondered why he found himself thinking about her so much. It was weird. She was obviously younger than him and he honestly hadn't been thinking about relationships much lately, but damn…he couldn't help picturing taking her to bed. Well, the truck bed. Whatever. But there was something about her…something that meant that he couldn't help watching her walk, something that kept him from being able to talk to her when she caught him off guard. Hell, when she'd said thanks for the food, he'd been so tongue tied that he wasn't even sure he'd answered in English. And he didn't know any other languages.

"Yeah," she answered. "Want to see?"

"It's getting dark," Lori said. "What about the kids?"

"There's only two of them," Songbird said. "As long as Sophia and Carl stay behind me they'll be fine."

Lori didn't look happy but she was outvoted, so Songbird headed for a tree near the edge of their camp.

"What are you aiming for?" Shane asked.

"You'll see," she called back.

Several seconds later they all stared at a perfect heart shape of throwing knives.

"Damn, darlin'" Daryl said, thinking that she'd just gotten even sexier as he walked to the tree to see the knives better. "Where did you learn that?"

She shrugged as she answered, "Anybody can throw a knife, right?" She was going for nonchalant and doing an internal happy dance that he'd called her "darlin'."

"Not like that," Rick was impressed, even as he felt Lori's gaze drill into his back. His wife still didn't trust the girl.

Daryl plucked one of the knives out, looking at the deep mark left in the tree and said, "I'm gonna start taking you huntin' with me."

"Sure!" she said, giving him a smile.

She'd developed a crazy crush on him, but she didn't want to follow him around like a puppy or anything, and he certainly didn't go out of his way to see her, so she mostly kept to herself.

After she'd removed the knives from the tree, most of the group gathered around the campfire; Daryl headed for his truck.

"Daryl?" Songbird called after him. "Why don't you ever join the rest of us?"

"Don't want to," he said, without really thinking about it.

"Oh," she stopped in her tracks, feeling kind of like an idiot.

He turned and looked at her, cursing under his breath when he saw that she looked hurt.

"Look, Songbird," he said. "We got history. They don't like me and I don't like them."

"Why wouldn't they like you?" she asked; she'd noticed that the group didn't have much to do with Daryl, but she assumed that he was just anti-social. "You're the one who feeds them!"

He laughed shortly and said, "Just give them time, they'll tell you all about what a bad man I am."

Songbird laughed as she replied, "Maybe I'm the kind of girl who likes that!" She couldn't believe she'd said it, but she really did have a huge crush on him and it had just sort of popped out!

He wasn't sure because of the darkness and the shadows of the fire, but he thought that she had blushed as she said it. He stepped closer and she looked up at him. This was the closest he'd been to her since she'd washed all that dirt off and he noticed again how young she looked.

"How old are you?" he asked abruptly.

"18," she answered.

Daryl made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a swear.

"Goodnight," he said.

"Wait!" she called, "How old are you?"

"None of your business, little girl," he answered, getting into the truck.

Inside the camper shell over the bed of his truck, Daryl collapsed onto his back and covered his face with both hands.

"18?" he questioned out loud. "_18?_ I'm a sick fuck."

If Andrea's calculations were right then it was September. In October he would be 36. He was 18 years older than the girl he'd been fantasizing about.

"Oh God," Daryl rolled over onto his stomach and threw his pillow over his head.

He resolved once again to avoid her; it shouldn't be hard. He'd just stay in his truck or go hunting. Pretty much what he did to avoid everyone else. He didn't have anyone to worry about with Merle gone, no one to have to look out for, no one who would miss him if he was gone. It might have seemed depressing to some people, but it was the way Daryl liked it. You were less likely to do stupid shit when you didn't give a damn who lived and died.

Songbird went back to the fire feeling a bit depressed. She wondered how old Daryl was. She had assumed that he was in his thirties, which didn't bother her. Clearly he didn't return the sentiment though. She had thought for a moment that he'd been on the verge of a heart attack when she'd told him she was 18.

"Songbird?" Sophia asked.

"Yeah?" she said, propping her chin in her hands and glancing at the girl.

"Can you teach me to throw like you?"

She perked up at that; there was nothing like being admired.

"Have you asked your mom?" she asked, pitching her voice so that Carol could hear.

Carol nodded and Sophia clapped her hands excitedly.

"We'll start tomorrow," Songbird said. "It's too dark right now."

"You threw at night," Sophia pointed out.

"Well sure," she said. "But I've been doing it for sixteen years!"

She cringed when the words left her mouth, but Sophia was the only one who'd heard and she didn't notice. She'd have to be more careful about slips like that! If they found out what she'd been before…well, she didn't want to think about it. As strange as it was to say it in the midst of what looked like the world ending, she had the chance for a new start and she wasn't going to blow it.

"Come to bed, Sophia," Carol called.

"We'll start in the morning," Songbird called after her.

In the morning, she was distressed to see that Daryl avoided her totally, but she and Sophia had a good time throwing knives. She wasn't bad, and she had serious perseverance. One of her throws went ridiculously high into the tree and stuck.

"Oh no!" Sophia said. "I'm sorry!"

"It's cool," Songbird answered wondering why she was so worked up, "I can get it."

She climbed the tree quickly and snagged the knife, handing it down to Sophia and seeing the odd looks of the rest of the survivors. Maybe it was because she was hanging from the tree branch by her knees. She then made matters worse by swinging for momentum and flipping down.

"Gymnastic classes," she said with a shrug.

Daryl thought that he had definitely come up from the stream at the wrong time.

"I'm goin' huntin'," he called to the group at large.

"Hey, you said I could come with you!" Songbird reminded him as he was turning to walk away.

Daryl's plan to avoid her went down the drain right before his eyes. He knew he should just tell her to fuck off, that he hunted alone, but he couldn't make the words come out.

"Are you kidding?" Shane asked, interrupting his thoughts. "You can't take her!"

"Why not?" Daryl asked defensively. He didn't want her to go, but he sure as hell didn't want to give in to that asshole either.

"What if she gets hurt?" Shane questioned.

"She's survived the Walkers," Daryl countered, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. "I think she can handle a hunting trip."

"I can," Songbird said, walking up beside Daryl and arranging her knives. "But thanks for your concern, Shane."

She and Daryl walked into the woods.

"Thanks for standing up for me," she whispered.

He shrugged and said, "I like getting under his skin. Prick bastard."

She laughed and punched him in the shoulder.

"Either way," she said. "You're not all bad, Daryl Dixon."

He grinned down at her, thinking how much he liked hearing her say his name in that sexy, kinda smoky voice. Songbird returned the smile in triumph; she'd never seen him smile before.

"Okay," he said, forcing himself to be business-like, "First rule of huntin' is no talkin' and for you, that means no singin'. Got it?"

Songbird nodded, not offended by his suddenly rougher tone. She knew he was right.

"You gotta walk quiet too," he continued and then realized that she already did. "Actually, you're doin a good job with that."

She smiled again and said, "What else?"

"Why don't we start with you pointin' and me shootin'?" he said. "I'm not sure what's out there. If we run across Walkers…"

"I know what to do about them," she said. "I've killed a few. I noticed that it had to be a direct shot to the brain. One of them tried to walk off with my favorite knife."

He nodded, glad that she didn't seem terrified. Walkers scared everybody, but there wasn't any sense in acting like they did.

"Then let's get started," he said.

She nodded and followed him quietly. After about an hour, Daryl felt her hand on his arm and turned; she pointed to a small herd of deer. He nodded and managed to bring down two before the herd scattered out of range. A third fell with one of Songbird's knives through its eye.

"Good job darlin'" Daryl said.

"Thanks!" she answered, her grin and enthusiasm reminding him of how young she really was.

"Okay, here's the less fun part," he informed her. "We gotta gut 'em."

She swallowed hard, but she followed him into the clearing.

He knelt by her kill, admiring the placement of the knife. Straight through the eye; that girl was an excellent shot.

"When you're workin'," Daryl said, "Make sure you don't cut yourself. You never know when you're gonna get covered in Walker blood."

She nodded, swallowing back the urge to throw up as he began slicing into the deer, showing her how to gut it.

To distract herself she said, "So is that what those things are? Walkers?"

Daryl shrugged and said, "Don't nobody know what they really are. Somebody started callin' 'em that and it stuck. Good a name as any I reckon."

She nodded and kept working, determined not to barf in front of him. When the work was done, he noticed that Songbird was pale, but her hands were steady as they wrapped the meat in the paper they'd brought and packed it up.

She gave him a brave smile when she saw that he was watching her and said, "Should we just leave this…uh stuff," she pointed to the entrails, "Won't it draw the Walkers?"

He glanced over his shoulder automatically and said, "Yeah, it will eventually, that's why we did it out here, away from camp. If we're lucky, we'll be gone before they get the scent."

She nodded and followed him as he walked back into the woods.

"I wish we could set up some kind of smoker," Carol said later as the deer meat roasted on the fire. "Then we could make deer jerky."

"If I had some tinfoil I could," Songbird said.

"Tinfoil?" Andrea said. "We've got that."

"Do you have a water tight container?" Songbird asked excitedly. "One that you don't mind sitting in the river for a few days?"

"I do," T-Dog said. "What are you going to do?"

"Make jerky," she said happily. "Will you slice it really thin, Daryl?"

He nodded as she walked off with Andrea and T-Dog to get the stuff.

"See, Rick?" he heard Lori say. "What kind of 18 year old girl knows how to make jerky?"

"The one that's gonna be savin' your ass from starving when winter rolls around," Daryl said, earning glares from Rick and Lori. He shrugged and went back to slicing.

Songbird came back and sat down next to him with the tinfoil and the box. He handed her the stack of deer meat he'd sliced and she smiled at him.

"Anybody have any spices?" she asked. "If so, speak now."

Carol and Lori nodded and went to get them. Songbird used some of Carol's garlic and onion powder and some of Lori's pepper and salt and then wrapped the slices in tinfoil and packed it into the box.

"Now I need to go down to the river and sink it," she said, after tying a string around the box.

Before Daryl could speak, Shane said, "I'll go with you."

She hesitated for a second and then realized that he wasn't asking, so she sighed and said, "Okay. We'll be back soon."

Shane walked with her, enjoying the memory of the look on Lori's face.

"So, where did you learn to do all this stuff?" he asked.

She shrugged and said, "Survival happens to be important to me."

"You have fun hunting with Daryl?" he asked as she weighed the box down with rocks and dropped it into the water.

"Yeah," she answered, wondering why he cared. "I like Daryl; he's a nice guy."

Shane snorted and helped her to her feet as he said, "You don't remember his crossbow in your face?"

"An apocalypse is no time to be on your best behavior," Songbird said primly.

She didn't want to make any enemies, but Shane Walsh made her uncomfortable and nervous. She didn't think that he liked her nearly as much as he was leading her to believe and she'd noticed lots of glances between him and Rick's wife Lori.

"I suppose you're right about that," Shane admitted. "But didn't he scare you?"

"I won't say it was the most comfortable moment of my life," she confessed.

"Well," he said, "You don't need to worry; I'll keep you safe."

"Um…thanks," she said, picking up her pace.

"What's your hurry?" Shane asked. "It's a nice evening."

"Safety in numbers," she answered. "I'll feel better up there."

"Hey, I told you I'd keep you safe," he reached out and took her hand.

She noticed that they were in sight of the camp now, particularly in sight of Lori.

"And I said thanks," Songbird repeated. "But I promised Sophia…"

"You worry too much," Shane replied, drawing her closer, almost against him and speaking in a lower tone, "Come here, you're shivering."

"No," she said, pulling her hand away and stepping back. "I'm going to sit by the fire."

She jogged easily up the small hill, leaving him to follow, aggravated but pleased at the way Lori looked at him with jealousy in her eyes when he walked past her.

Songbird sat next to Daryl again. He glanced down at her when she pressed much closer than normal and he just checked the impulse to put his arm around her. She looked up at him, then glanced at Shane, who'd taken a seat next to Rick. Daryl thought he saw worry cross her pretty face.

"What's wrong?" he asked in a low voice.

She looked surprised that he'd asked, but she said, "Nothing. I just got sort of freaked out down by the river."

And she'd come to him. He didn't want her counting on him!

"I'm goin' to bed," he said, telling himself that the hurt he saw in her eyes was exactly what he needed to see as he walked away from her.

Songbird swallowed hard, then walked over to where Carol and Sophia sat, finishing their meal.

"Mind if I sit with you?" she asked.

"Sure," Carol said, patting the rock they were perched on. "I saved you the most comfortable spot."

Songbird smiled and sat.

"How long will we be here?" she asked, thinking back to the Walker bait she and Daryl had left in the woods that day.

Carol shrugged and said, "We don't know. We just move out when they tell us too. Last time…" her face went briefly tense and she took a deep breath. "Last time, we didn't move out until too late."

Sophia looked up and said, "And Daddy and Amy died."

Songbird glanced at Carol in shock. Somehow she'd believed that this group was safe. She swallowed her alarm and looked at Sophia.

"I lost my mom when I was around your age," she said. "I wanted to die too. But, everyday it got better until I could go through the day without thinking of her too much. It gets easier."

The girl nodded, clearly trying not to cry as she finished her deer meat.

"You need to get to bed," Carol said a bit later.

When Sophia left, she said, "I saw your face. You thought you'd found a haven didn't you?"

Songbird nodded and said, "I know that's crazy…"

Carol shook her head and said, "It's human. Human to hope. We lost my husband, Andrea's sister Amy, and a man named Jim in that attack. After that, we lost another woman. Before that we lost Merle and gained Rick."

"Rick wasn't always with you?" she asked. "But he and Lori…"

"Lori, Shane and Carl all believed Rick was dead," Carol said. "Until he turned up out of the blue with Glenn, T-Dog, and Andrea after a supply run. He'd gone to Atlanta."

"Atlanta?" Songbird repeated. "Is he insane? Pick a disaster movie, any disaster movie…it's always worse in the most populated areas!"

Carol smiled and said, "Well, he _had_ just come out of a coma. I wanted to thank you for taking such an interest in Sophia. Losing her father has been hard for her. She needs something else to think about."

"Sure," she said. "I miss having kids around."

"Did you have a lot of brothers and sisters?" Carol asked; the Songbird rarely talked about herself.

"No, I was an only child," Songbird answered. "I had a big…extended family."

She thought of the kids she'd left behind, running like a coward because she couldn't face putting her knife through their brains and she took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," Carol said. "We won't talk about it. Why don't you sing me a song? You've got a lovely voice and it seems to help you cope."

"Any requests?" Songbird asked.

"Do you know Where Did You Sleep Last Night?" Carol asked, "It seems appropriate."

Songbird glanced at the pine trees lining their camp, laughed and began,

"My girl, my girl, don't lie to me, tell me where did you sleep last night?"

When she finished, she did feel better, so she told Carol thanks and headed for the R.V.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Glen called, "Hey Songbird, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," she said.

"What's in the laptop bag?" he asked.

"A laptop," she said it slowly, as if he'd lost his mind.

"And you're still dragging it around?" Lori said. "Why?"

"I have a car charger," she replied. "Who knows? Maybe we can find a wi-fi spot and contact someone."

"Not likely," Lori thought that this was just another thing in the girl's list of quirks.

"It's not unlikely," Glenn looked excited. "Let's try it!"

"First things first," Rick said. "We've got a supply run planned. If you need anything, you need to let us know."

"I'm going," Songbird said.

"What?" Shane asked.

"If you guys are going looting, then I'm going too," she said mildly, wondering why they looked so shocked.

"We aren't _looting_, it's a supply run. If you need something, you just tell me what it is," Shane answered. "I'll take care of it for you."

"Thanks, but I'd prefer to get it myself," Songbird set her jaw determinedly. "I'm going looting."

"She goes, I go," Daryl said, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the truck.

She gave him a dirty look and everybody else looked at him as well. He didn't care. He'd spent a sleepless night thinking about that look on her face; he'd decided that he couldn't just walk away from her. It seemed that he'd be taking care of her, but he'd be damned if he'd admit that he wanted her. She was too fuckin' young!

"You can't go," Shane said. "You're just going to leave everybody here unprotected?"

"Why don't you stay, Officer?" Daryl drawled. "If I take the Songbird, Glenn and T-Dog, you and Rick could stay here and hold down the fort."

T-Dog stared at Daryl in surprise.

"What?" Daryl asked, "You don't wanna go?"

"Nah, that's fine," T-Dog said. "I'll go with you."

"And who gave you the authority to make decisions?" Shane asked.

"Well, nobody asked our opinions," Songbird pointed out. "If you had, I would have told you I was going."

"I like this idea better," Lori said.

"See?" Songbird said, surprised to be validated by Lori, who seemed to dislike her most of the time. "This way, nobody with family is going."

"And we have two people who know how to handle weapons in both groups," Daryl went on, earning a glare from T-Dog, which he shrugged in response to. He could have amended that statement to "silent weapons" but he didn't exactly feel like it was his purpose on Earth to stroke T-dog's ego.

"All right," Rick said, after a glance at Lori. "Everybody get your shopping lists to Daryl or the Songbird."

An hour later everyone climbed into Daryl's truck. He'd cleaned the bed out and stacked every spare container they had inside in case they found a functional gas station, which was what Songbird was hoping for. She was riding up front with Daryl while Glen and T-Dog rode in the back.

"What are you looking for?" he asked, looking at the empty laptop bag she'd brought in addition to Sophia's backpack and some other empty bags.

She blushed all the way up from the neck of her tee shirt and said, "None of your business."

He couldn't help laughing at the blush.

"What's with you anyway?" Songbird asked.

"What do you mean?" he questioned.

"You're being nice to me today, but you couldn't get away from me fast enough last night."

He shrugged and she exhaled impatiently.

"Look, darlin'" he began.

"Don't you darlin' me!" she interrupted. "Not if you don't mean it!"

Daryl didn't know what to say, so he just shrugged again and they rode the rest of the way in silence.

"Here we go," he said two hours later when an Exxon came into view. "Open that," he said to Songbird.

She slid the back glass open and he said, "Glenn? What's your plan?"

Glenn laid it out, and Songbird's eyebrows went up. Daryl noticed the look and said, "I know. Can you believe all the little fucker used to do was deliver pizzas?"

She laughed; she couldn't help it. Glenn grinned too and they headed out, into the gas station. Daryl tried the pumps, exhaling in relief when they worked.

"T-dog," he called softly. "Get the gas cans."

T-dog brought them over and then said, "Why'd you pick me?"

"Oh God," Daryl said. "Is this gonna be one of those fuckin' lifetime moments? You're good with a gun, okay?"

"Okay," T-dog said. "Thanks though."

"Whatever," Daryl said gruffly. "This one's full."

Meanwhile, Songbird and Glenn worked their way slowly inside the gas station.

"Cha-ching," Songbird whispered. The gas station hadn't even been looted; she guessed it was because the epidemic had spread so fast. "All right, Glenn, hit the canned food, I'm gonna hit the drinks."

Glenn nodded and Songbird made sure he was out of sight before hitting up a different aisle on her way to the drinks. She stuffed her laptop bag quickly, cleaning off the hooks and shelves, then she clipped the bag closed and headed for the coolers. Obviously they had been off for some time, but it wouldn't hurt the water and soft drinks.

"Hey, Glenn," she called softly. "Cherry coke?"

"Sure," he answered with a grin.

She tossed him one and toasted him from across the gas station as they drank. She began filling the bags with water bottles, juices, and sports drinks and carrying them out to the truck. Daryl glanced at her as he filled the last gas can.

"Hey," he whispered.

She glanced his way and he said, "I'm gonna back the truck up to the door; prop it open, okay?"

She nodded and did as he asked.

"Daryl's backing the truck up," she said to Glenn. "Let's drag some of the stuff closer. I'm getting nervous."

Glenn looked around; he didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

"Why?" he asked.

"I don't know," she said. "Let's just finish getting the stuff."

Daryl walked in, went straight to the back, grabbed four suitcases of Bud and put them on the tailgate. Songbird smiled when he glanced at her, gauging her reaction.

"Well, if we're taking stuff like that…" she said, going back and grabbing several six packs of Smirnoff Triple Black and a pack of Apple Black and Mild cigars.

Glenn stared at her in surprise. Daryl snagged several cartons of Camel's and a few lighters. He hadn't had a cigarette in a really, really long time and it was only practicality that kept him from cleaning off the entire shelf.

"All right," Songbird said. "Now we need to hurry."

T-dog came in and helped load down the truck bed. They now had a good bit of water, lots of canned food and other necessities, and there was plenty more on the shelves.

"Maybe we can come back before we hit the road out of this town," T-dog said.

Daryl nodded and drove the truck back over to the pump; he'd forgotten to top it off. Glenn hopped into the truck bed and began shifting stuff so that he and T-dog would have somewhere to sit.

"Songbird," T-dog said.

"What?" she answered, stuffing a few more things into her bag and snapping it closed again.

"We've got a problem," he pointed out the front window.

Daryl looked up and saw the Walkers, about fifty of them, heading toward the store.

"Ah shit," he said under his breath. There didn't seem to be anything else to say.

He ran for the driver's seat.

"What's going on?" Glenn asked; he couldn't see from his angle.

"You sit your ass right there and hang on!" Daryl ordered.

T-dog aimed and shot a Walker in the head.

"No!" Songbird exclaimed.

It was too late; the hoard headed for them for one mind, drawn to the noise of the gunfire. T-dog headed out, keeping most of the Walkers back with a hail of bullets. Songbird sprinted behind him, and then realized that they'd left the door open. The Walkers would be able to get in and contaminate things. Or hide and wait for someone who might be looking for supplies. She pivoted and headed back, jerking on the doors, trying to get them closed. Her hands were so sweaty that she couldn't get much of a grip.

"Fuck!" Daryl said, as he opened the door for T-dog and saw the Songbird turn back from the truck. "Get in!"

He jerked the truck around the second the door closed and headed her way.

Songbird finally got the doors shut and turned to find herself basically face to face with a Walker. She bit back a scream and drew one of her longest knives, stabbing the Walker through the eye and gritting her teeth at the disgusting feeling, like stepping on a roach but a thousand times worse. She stabbed another that got close, and realized that she'd have to throw a knife or two. She hated to lose them! She was drawing back when Daryl's truck plowed through the majority of the hoard. She didn't have time to move before he slammed on the brakes, opened his door, grabbed her around the waist and jerked her inside.

She fit perfectly between him and the steering wheel. Songbird buried her face against Daryl's neck as the door slammed and he held her tightly against him as he drove. She was shaking.

"Damn it, darlin'!" he said. "Why didn't you throw any of your knives?"

"I didn't want to lose them," she said, sending shivers down his spine when her lips moved against his skin.

"They're _throwing_ knives!" he said with sarcastic emphasis.

"They have sentimental value," she answered back, still speaking against his neck, enjoying being this close to him, despite the fact that her bag was digging into her stomach.

He realized he had a problem; she was squirming on his lap, and he was getting hard as a rock.

"What the hell are you doin'?" he asked roughly.

"I can't get the bag…" she said, squirming more.

He groaned, but managed to turn it into a cough. This had to be the most humiliating thing that had ever happened to him. He had a cute girl in his lap, two other guys in his truck and a hard-on like he'd never experienced. Songbird finally worked the bag free and settled down. She couldn't sit anywhere else without him stopping the truck. T-dog took up the passenger seat and the gearshift took up the rest.

She couldn't figure out what Daryl had in his pocket, every time she moved it poked her. She wriggled and felt his breath ruffle her hair.

"You gotta be still!" he informed her desperately.

"What's in your pocket?" she asked in frustration.

His neck went red and T-dog glanced his way.

"It's a knife," he said firmly, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Well, can't you move it?" Songbird asked.

"Not right now," Daryl answered despondently. "So, anyway, uh…T-dog, what did you find?"

"Not much," T-dog said giving him an amused look. "I was with you mostly."

"Right," Daryl said, trying to think of something else to talk about.

Songbird pulled back and looked at him. Something about the way he refused to meet her eyes told her what was really going on. She blushed when she realized what was poking her and buried her face against his neck again, feeling his pulse pounding. She did her best not to move after that and he was grateful. Of course now he had to grit his teeth with every bump in the road. It was the longest two hours of his life.

"So, you're joining us?" Carol said at the fire that night.

"My truck still smells like gasoline," Daryl answered.

It did, but that wasn't the reason he was there. He had to know if Songbird was going to keep being awkward around him. She hadn't really spoken to him since they'd gotten back. He wondered if she thought he was some creepy old perv.

"Hey Daryl!" Songbird said cheerfully, happy to see him out with the group. "Hungry?"

She had been so busy dividing the supplies that she hadn't had a chance to talk to him much since they'd arrived with the food and gas.

"Nah," he said, relieved that she smiled at him the way she always had.

"If your truck is that bad you shouldn't sleep in it," she went on. "Want to sleep in the R.V?"

He started to say no, but somehow his mouth formed the word, "Sure."

When Dale and Andrea stared at him he said, "Unless you got a problem with it?"

"No," Andrea said. "That's fine…"

When everyone finished eating and arranging their supplies, Daryl stepped into the R.V. and looked around.

"You can sleep by me," Songbird said, patting the open sleeping bag she slept on.

Daryl lay down, despite the second glances of Andrea and Dale. He did turn his back to the Songbird though. The last thing he needed was a repeat of history. She lay down behind him, facing his back. She thought his back was sexy; it was muscular and tan and he had pretty broad shoulders even though he didn't have a large build in general. She also thought she saw a tattoo along his shoulder blade, mostly hidden under the plaid shirt he'd cut the sleeves out of and almost impossible to see in the dark. She made a mental note to find out about it before she closed her eyes.

In the night, he felt something against his back and jerked around, but it was only Songbird. She had inched closer and wrapped her arm around him. He shifted onto his back and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

The longer he held her the more he wished that they were alone. He wanted to roll her onto her back and kiss her…slide inside her and fuck her until she screamed his name. He hadn't been with anybody in a while, even before the world went to hell. He'd lived with Deena till she'd cheated on him and he'd moved out. Merle had told him he was an idiot, that he should have thrown the bitch out and kept the house, but he couldn't bring himself to do it, so he'd moved in with his brother and put up with being called a pussy.

He glanced down at Songbird and brushed her long hair away from her face. She pressed her face against his chest and murmured in her sleep. He sighed; he was running out of excuses. It seemed like she was a liability now, and from what had happened in the truck, he couldn't lie to himself anymore about being attracted to her. So he'd be keeping her safe, and apparently he'd be fantasizing about her, but the last time he'd looked the position of bodyguard didn't come with fuckin' rights.

When she woke up, she blushed to find herself wrapped around Daryl. Luckily, she always woke up before everyone else. She rolled over gently, hoping that he wouldn't catch her in the act. He turned in his sleep and reached for her. She raised her eyebrows, but she let him pull her back against him.

He confused her! She could tell in moments like these and yesterday, when he thought that the Walkers were going to get her that he wanted her…so why was he so distant all the rest of the time? She closed her eyes, comforted by his warmth and the solidity of his chest behind her back.

Daryl woke up slowly, feeling pretty good. He was just wondering why when he realized that Songbird's ass was pressing against him and his arm was around her just below her breasts. Her arm was over his so there was no way to move without waking her up. He didn't know what to do. It was awkward to wake up spooning somebody he was doing his best to avoid fucking.

"Rise and shine!"

Dale's voice woke Songbird; she'd fallen asleep again when Daryl had pulled her close. She couldn't deny that sleeping with her back to his chest had made her feel safer than she had in a long time; she'd slept so well that she felt groggy. She stretched and Daryl swore as the movement pushed her ass even tighter against him.

"Not a morning person?" Songbird asked, misunderstanding the swear.

"You could say that," he said, moving away from her warm, tempting body.

Andrea looked from Daryl to Songbird and said, "Come on, Songbird, we'll help get breakfast going."

"Okay," she said. "Yummy deer bacon!"

They walked out, heading over to fire Carol was building. Daryl rubbed his hands over his face. For the few seconds before his brain fully engaged, he'd been the happiest he'd been a long time.


	4. Chapter 4

Daryl was keeping his distance from her again and she felt really sad about it. And Shane was every-freakin-where she turned. She was starting to feel the tension between him and Lori growing and she didn't appreciate being in the middle of them. Especially since Lori was married and all. She was having nightmares about the kids again and she couldn't help but think about how much better she'd felt sleeping Daryl's arms.

She tossed and turned in the R.V. after everyone else was asleep, but she couldn't manage to drift off. She glanced across the campsite and saw Daryl's flashlight from the bed of his truck. Songbird grabbed her bag, strapped one of her knife sheaths on her left wrist and headed for the truck.

Daryl was fixing the bed of his truck up and getting ready to crawl in. It had been nearly a week since that night in the R.V. but he still thought about it. It drove him to do stuff like fix up the bed in the middle of the night to keep his hands busy.

"Daryl?" Songbird asked softly.

"What is it?" he answered, straightening the blanket determined not to look at her.

"Ummm," she said, cracking her knuckles nervously. "Can I sleep with you?"

"What?" he asked, standing so fast that he smacked his head on the camper edge. "Fuck!"

Songbird winced.

"I mean…it's just that…well, I slept better with you than I have in a really long time and…"

"Songbird, I don't think…" he began, rubbing the back of his head.

"You make me feel safe," she cut in. "Please, Daryl!"

"Damn it, darlin'," he said. "They'll think that I'm fucking you!"

"So?" she asked. "I don't care if they think…that."

"You can't even say it!" he exclaimed.

"Daryl, I just want to feel safe again," she said, stepping closer. "You make me feel that way, whether you like it or not!"

"Why me?" he asked. "And not Shane? He sure as hell hangs around you enough."

Songbird shrugged.

"Just because he hangs around me doesn't mean I like it. That's sort of one of the things I want you to keep me safe from!"

He stepped up and looked down at her; a cold wind blew around them and she shivered.

"You want me to protect you?" he asked. The request made him feel good; it was what he'd always wanted a woman to want from him. He knew he could do at least that much; he could keep her safe. 

"Yes," she said, unable to ask for the rest of what she wanted.

"Then get in, darlin'," he said.

She grinned and tossed her laptop bag into the truck bed before climbing in. The truck bed was surprisingly comfortable.

"This is nice," she said.

"Yeah, it should be," Daryl answered. "It's got three layers of egg crate foam, a sleeping bag, and a sheet. We've also got a lot of blankets for when it gets colder. I've got a thing about a comfortable bed."

She smiled and Daryl tossed her his extra pillow. She pulled her shoes off, unstrapped the knife sheaths, and began braiding her hair. He watched her getting ready for bed and couldn't hold back a grin. It felt right to have her there.

When he turned the flashlight off and lay down, she said, "Can you put your arm around me like you did in the R.V.?"

He tugged the blanket up around them and did as she'd asked. They both fell asleep pretty quickly. Her because she was so comfortable, and him so that he wouldn't do something stupid like kiss her; he really, really wanted to kiss her.

Daryl blinked in the early morning sun, wondering what had woken him, and then realized that there was a general commotion in the camp. He propped up on his elbow, saw that the Songbird was still sleeping, and was starting to get up when Rick and Shane opened the camper shell window and said, "Daryl, we need a search party. Dale and Andrea can't find the Songbird…"

She sat up and Rick broke off.

"You mean this Songbird?" Daryl asked.

"Uh, yeah," Rick said. "Why didn't you let us know that you and Daryl were…uh…"

"We're not," Daryl said quickly. "It's just that…she's just…ah fuck it. It ain't any of your business anyhow."

"What Daryl means by that is that I appreciate your concern," Songbird said with a grin. "I should have let someone know, but it was sort of a split second decision. I couldn't sleep last night and…"

Shane walked away and Rick said, "That's okay. You don't have to tell us every detail of your life. We were just worried."

He let the window down and walked away. She and Daryl looked at each other and she was relieved when he grinned at her.

"Did you see Shane's face?" he asked.

"What are you doin'?" Daryl asked Shane and Rick later that morning.

"Working out," Rick said. "Want to join us?"

"Why would I?" he asked.

"It might be fun," Songbird sounded enthusiastic, coming up behind him. "We could have a push up contest!"

"You're on, beautiful," Shane looked up at the couple, noticing her smile and Daryl's scowl.

"Come on, Daryl," she challenged.

"All right fine," he replied. "But you have to do 'em the right way, no girlie knee shit."

"Let's go," she said.

They started and she could see surprise on all the guy's faces when she was able to keep up with their pace. Eventually it came down to Daryl and Shane though and she started to get worried. The days were still pretty hot and they were both sweating buckets.

"I think you've proved your points," Songbird said.

Neither one of them wanted to waste a breath on answering her, so she glanced at Rick. Rick just shrugged, watching in amusement. He kind of wanted Shane to be able to impress Songbird. His friend deserved a good girl.

"What's going on?" Lori asked.

Shane looked up at her, glad that he'd left his shirt on the grass beside him.

"I had the stupid idea to have a push-up contest," Songbird said, chewing her thumbnail worriedly.

Lori laughed as she said, "Shane will drop before he loses. That's the kind of man he is."

Rick walked over and put his arm around his wife, kissing her on the cheek. Songbird noticed that Lori's eyes didn't leave Shane. She went back to watching Daryl. If he was determined to do this, then she wasn't going to waste her time staring at Lori. Sweat ran down his arms and stuck his shirt to his back. She admired the way his arms flexed.

"Hey, Daryl?" she said, lying down beside him, on her back so that she could see his face.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Wanna go for a swim after this?" she asked.

"Yeah," he agreed, wishing Shane would just give in and quit.

"Lunch!" Andrea called.

Rick steered Lori toward the campfire and she called back over her shoulder, "Come on Shane! You're going to end up with heatstroke!"

Neither of the men looked like they were going to stop, so Songbird did an unsportsmanlike thing. She got up, wandered around for a moment and "clumsily tripped" over Shane's arm. He hit the ground, so did she, but mainly for show.

Daryl laughed breathlessly, did one more pushup and stood, tugging Songbird to her feet.

"That was cheating!" Shane said, getting up.

He didn't really care, since Lori was out of sight and his arms were killing him anyway, but he felt like he had to protest.

Songbird smiled at him innocently and said, "Sorry! I'm such a klutz!"

She walked to the campfire with Daryl, giving Shane a smile over her shoulder.

After lunch, she reminded Daryl about the swim and he nodded.

"That sounds fun," Shane said with a glance at Lori.

"Want to join us?" Songbird asked politely.

Lori glanced at Shane, smiled and said, "Sure…yeah."

"Hey Carol?" Songbird called. "Want to get in the river?"

Carol shook her head but Sophia nodded so Songbird waved her over. Daryl sighed as "their" swim became a group swim.

He noticed again how comfortable Songbird was with kids though. He'd loaned her his extra wife-beater to swim in, since it came past mid-thigh, and she was teaching Carl and Sophia to float. He walked over to where she stood waist high in the river. She'd braided her hair again and he tugged the braid when he got close enough.

She smiled at him over her shoulder and said, "I'm glad you're here."

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Yep," she agreed. "You can hold Carl while I hold Sophia and both these kids will be floating in no time!"

She noticed the expression that crossed Daryl's face when she mentioned him holding Carl and wondered if he wasn't comfortable with kids. She'd never really seen him interacting with them, come to think of it. He didn't want to burst her bubble by telling her how Lori did her level best to keep her son away from him, so he just nodded.

Carl looked up at him, seeming a bit worried.

"I ain't gonna drop you, kid," Daryl said.

"You'll be fine, Carl," Songbird said soothingly. "You can trust Daryl."

"Having fun?" Shane asked Lori.

"Yes," she answered, glancing up at him.

She'd missed him these last few weeks, much more than she had thought she would.

"It's good to see you smile again," Shane said. "At me, I mean."

He reached up and brushed his finger down her cheek; she shivered under his touch as she always had.

"Lori, I…" he began.

"Hey Mom!" Carl called. "Look!"

She turned to see Carl floating beside Daryl Dixon, who was looking down at him with his arms crossed over his chest and, to her surprise, smiling.

"I'd better get over there," Lori said. "Maybe we can talk later?"

"I'd like that," Shane said.

Daryl sighed when Lori walked over; she was giving him that look that she always gave him when he got too close to her son.

"Carl, you shouldn't be bothering Daryl and Songbird," Lori said.

"He ain't bothering us," Daryl replied. "The Songbird was just teachin' him to…"

"Yes, I see that," Lori said. "Come on in, honey, I think that's enough."

Songbird looked hurt and Daryl set his jaw as he said, "Look, I can leave if it'd make you feel better."

"Don't be ridiculous," Lori answered. "Come on, Carl. It's time to get back to the camp."

"But this is the last chance he'll get before the cold…" Songbird began.

"You'll understand one day when you have your own kids," Lori said dismissively as she walked away.

Carl followed despondently.

"God she's a bi…" Daryl broke off when Songbird elbowed him and looked meaningfully toward Sophia. "Big worrywart."

"Anyway," Songbird said, covering the smile she couldn't hold back at his follow up and the expression on his face that suggested that even he couldn't believe those words had come from his mouth, "Wanna look for frogs?"

"Sure!" Sophia agreed with a smile.

Eventually the sun began to set and everyone packed it in. Songbird noticed how low Daryl's river soaked jeans rode on his hips and sighed. She also noticed his tattoo. It was pretty cool, a blue design over most of his right shoulder. He turned around to help her up the small hill and grinned when he found her staring at him. His wife-beater was molded to her small frame, the wind that had kicked up made her nipples press against the soaked fabric. He swallowed hard, trying to recall why he wasn't having sex with her.

He began listing reasons as she walked beside him. She was too young, too naive. She'd asked him what was in his pocket for God's sake! He went around behind the truck and changed into his other jeans. He wouldn't have a spare shirt until tomorrow because he'd given his extra and his others had been washed that day. After everyone ate, Daryl, who was cold without a shirt, went back to the truck. Songbird didn't follow him; she stayed by the fire chatting with Carol, Glenn, and T-Dog.

Eventually they all went to bed and Carol said, "You better get to Daryl's truck, Songbird. It's not safe to be alone."

"I will," Songbird said. "I'll just put the fire out."

As she did so, she heard rustling in the woods and her heart nearly jumped out of her chest. She wanted to scream for Daryl, but she didn't want to raise the alarm over a squirrel or something equally pathetic. She checked her knife sheaths and headed toward the woods.

"Shane," she heard a woman whisper, a woman who clearly didn't recognize that the sibilants of words with "S" in them carried like crazy in still air.

Songbird stopped when she had the people in sight.

Shane and Lori stood near a tree. Songbird frowned.

"Lori," Shane said in a low tone. "I know you think that I lied about Rick being dead, but God as my witness, I didn't! I'd never hurt you or Carl that way! Never!"

"Shane, I…" Lori began, but he interrupted her.

"Why would I lie? You and I were together for a year and a half before all this happened and I never pressured you. Lori, I can't stand to lose you like this. Not now. Not when I've kept you safe this whole time! You were thinking about leaving him anyway; you told me that right before he got shot. Remember that, baby? Remember how much I've always loved you?"

Songbird clapped her hand over her mouth in astonishment.

"I was just so shocked, Shane," Lori leaned against him. "And how can I leave him now? He came back from the dead!"

"You don't have to leave him," Shane said, brushing her hair back. "We can just go back to the way we were."

"And what about the Songbird?" Lori asked. "You certainly spend enough time around her."

"I can't help it if she has a thing for me," Shane said. "Don't you think it would be good cover anyway?"

Songbird wanted to pin him to the tree he was standing in front of. Daryl was right to call him a prick bastard!

"Well," Lori said coyly, "I don't like it. She'll get the wrong idea."

"You want me all to yourself?" Shane asked, stepping closer.

Lori raised her lips to his and Shane kissed her until they heard Rick call her name softly from the direction of their tent. They broke apart and Songbird thought that she saw guilt cross both of their faces for a moment.

"I'll see you later, Shane," Lori said.

"All right," Shane said giving her a smile. "Lori?"

"Yeah?" she asked, walking backward slowly.

"I love you," he called softly.

"I love you too," she responded after a moment's hesitation.

He followed her back to camp; Songbird snuck through the woods till she got to Daryl's truck, parked at the edge of the circle of vehicles. She knocked and he opened the tailgate for her to crawl in. He could barely see her, but he could tell that she was agitated.

"What's wrong, darlin'?" he asked as she pulled her sneakers off.

"Oh my god!" she said. "I was just in the woods…"

"Are you," Daryl forced himself to lower his voice and repeated, "Are you crazy?"

"Well, I heard something," she defended herself.

"I'm gonna put you on a fuckin' leash!" Daryl said. "You _heard_ something? And you didn't think it could be a Walker?"

"I had my knives!"

"The knives you won't throw!"

"Daryl!"

"Songbird!"

They stared at each other for a few moments in silence and then she said, "And I found out that Lori and Shane were sleeping together!"

Still silence.

"LORI and SHANE," she repeated.

Nothing.

"Are you listening to me?" Songbird demanded.

"I'm listenin' darlin'." Daryl said, wondering how the rest of the group would take it if he did put Songbird on a leash. Or kept her tied up in his truck. She _had_ asked him to protect her after all.

"Then _say _something!" she said. "Lori and Shane have been together for a year and a half behind Rick's back!"

"What you want me to do about it?" he asked.

"We should tell Rick!" she said. "I can't believe that she would do this to him! He's such a nice guy!"

"I wouldn't do that," Daryl said.

"What? Why not?"

"Because none of us have seen fit to let him know and neither should you. It ain't none of my business who fucks who."

"You knew?" she asked, her bubble effectively burst.

"Yeah," Daryl stretched out as he spoke, wishing she would let it go and lay down beside him.

"Why haven't any of you told him?" she asked.

"What's the point?" Daryl questioned. "Either Rick or Shane would probably end up dead if the news got out. There ain't exactly a divorce court anywhere around now is there?"

"But…Rick should know that he's getting sloppy seconds!" Songbird said. "Wouldn't you want to know if your wife was cheating on you?"

"I ain't married," Daryl hedged.

"Daryl! You know what I mean!" she said in frustration.

"Speakin' from experience," he said. "It don't matter. A man can tell when his woman don't love him no more. Rick's just gonna have to open his damn eyes. Leave him alone till he does."

"It doesn't seem right," Songbird rested her chin on her knees. After a few moments of thought she said, "Somebody cheated on you?"

"Huh?" he asked, surprised at the change in the subject.

"You said that you were speaking from experience," she explained.

"Oh, yeah," he shrugged, trying to act like it didn't bother him and, with her in the bed of his truck and more than a year since it happened, it really didn't bother him nearly as much. "Deena Hudson. We lived together for a while. Then I found out that she'd been bangin' Lloyd Hall and…"

"She left you for a guy named Lloyd?" Songbird interrupted.

"Yeah," Daryl said, smiling at the laughter in her voice. "Well actually, I left her."

"I can't believe someone would cheat on you," Songbird shook her head and lay down beside him.

"You've never lived with me," Daryl said.

"I'm living with you now," she pointed out. "And um…speaking of that…" she took a deep breath and gathered her courage. She knew exactly what she wanted to say and exactly how she wanted to say it; she had planned her sultry, casual tone as carefully as her speech. So of course it came out garbled and squeaky.

"You know how you said that if I slept in here…that people would…you know you said that they would think we were uh…fucking?"

"Yeah?" he asked warily.

"Well, now that they…uh…you know…think that…why…um…don't we?"

He sat up and stared at her.

"What?" was the only response that he could come up with.

"Don't make me say it again!" she said, burying her face in her hands.

"Why?" Daryl asked, trying to be logical, despite the fact that his body had sprung to attention so quickly that he winced as the head of his cock rubbed against the line dried denim of his jeans. "I mean why do you…want to?"

He couldn't figure out for the life of him why a girl that beautiful and that _young_ wanted him.

"This seems to be the end of the world," she said. "I don't want to die a virgin."

"Oh," he said.

The words hit him like a punch to the gut. For one thing, he hadn't put together the fact that she was a virgin and for another, it kinda stung to know that didn't want him as a person…she just wanted him for the experience. God knew that he wanted to give it to her, but he figured she'd regret it if society rebuilt itself. A beautiful girl like her would have a chance to rise right to the top. The apocalypse hadn't changed his life much, honestly. He wouldn't risk dragging her down to his level and he sure as hell wouldn't risk knockin' her up.

"It's not a good idea, darlin'," he said.

She blinked back tears, glad that he couldn't see her in the darkness. She wished more than anything that she could leave the truck, but the fire was out and the camp was still.

"Songbird?" he said into the silence.

"Yeah?" she said, taking a deep breath to make sure the word came out without a waver.

"Are you…I mean, you understand right?" he asked.

"I understand," she said. "I guess I misunderstood before." Before he could ask her what she meant, she said, "Goodnight, Daryl."

"Good night, Songbird."

She lay down on the opposite side of the truck bed. He looked over; he just see the outline of her slight form huddled as far away from him as she could get. He missed having her next to him. He rolled over onto his back and put his hands over his face. Daryl wanted to be inside her right now; he couldn't help imagining how tight she'd be. He hadn't been with a virgin since high school. And that had lasted about five minutes.

"Songbird?" he asked, on the verge of telling her he'd changed his mind.

She didn't answer.


	5. Chapter 5

When she woke up the next morning, Daryl was still asleep, so she snuck out into the early morning stillness. The only person up was Carol. She was doing something that looked kind of like a dance, but sort of like karate at the same time.

"What are you doing?" Songbird asked.

"Tai-chi," Carol answered. "Want to join me?"

"Sure," Songbird said. "I had a crappy night."

Carol looked at her closely. Daryl had an explosive, easily ignited temper after all. There weren't any bruises, but she knew better than anyone that there were things a man could do to a woman that didn't leave marks.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Oh, Daryl just pissed me off," Songbird answered, copying Carol's movements. "Looks like I'll be sleeping in the R.V. again."

"Did he…hurt you?" Carol asked hesitantly.

"Daryl?" Songbird said, as if it were incomprehensible. "No. Just my pride I guess. Where'd you learn to do this?"

"I had some DVD's on it," Carol said, accepting the change in subject. "It relieves stress and tension."

"You should teach the rest of the camp," Songbird said. "Everybody must know something they could teach the others."

"That's a good idea," Rick said, coming up to the women. "Shane and I could teach some self-defense skills, Carol could teach Tai-Chi, you could teach knife throwing, Daryl could teach archery or hunting…"

"Fuck that," Daryl said.

He was pissed off and he didn't care what anybody thought about it. "Shoulda got off your damn asses and gone outside every once in a fuckin' while…"

The sound of his voice trailed off as he walked down to the river.

Rick looked at Songbird with raised eyebrows; she shrugged, giving him her most innocent, "I have no idea what the problem is" look.

Rick patted her shoulder and said, "Sometimes Daryl isn't the easiest person to get along with. He's been a hell of a lot more bearable since you've been around though. So thanks for that at least!"

She looked up at him, thinking that he was one of the nicest cops she'd ever known. She actually really liked him.

"Rick?"

"Yeah?"

"Wanna do Tai-chi with us?" she asked, chickening out.

"Thanks, but I've got to get some coffee before I face martial arts of any variety," he said with a smile.

Soon the camp was teaming with activity, but Daryl didn't come back. Songbird was worried nearly sick.

"Has anybody seen Daryl today?" she finally asked at lunch time.

"No," Shane said. "But he does this from time to time. He's probably hunting."

She had to bite her tongue to keep from cussing Shane out. She was terrified that Daryl had been eaten by a Walker, confused over whether or not to confront Lori or tell Rick what was going on, and she didn't want to see Shane's smirking face!

She kept her eyes on the horizon until it was near sunset, and then she saw Daryl coming back up the hill. She shot to her feet as he approached the fire.

"Where were you?" she asked.

In answer, he held up a string of squirrels.

"You should have let someone know you were going," Rick said. "We've been worried."

"Yeah I'm sure you were real broken up," Daryl said. "Ya'll wanted to learn from me? Gut the damn squirrels. Lesson fuckin' one."

He dropped them near Shane and went to his truck. He was still horny, still missing the Songbird, and his mood didn't improve when he realized that she'd moved her stuff out of the truck bed.

"Damn it!" he punched the side of his truck.

Songbird looked around at the group and, in order to distract herself, said, "Let's have a girl's night!"

"What?" Andrea asked.

"A girl's night! You know…like a sleepover. Dale can we borrow the R.V. for a few hours?"

She looked so hopeful and excited that he couldn't tell her no.

"Sure thing," Dale answered.

Songbird clapped her hands and said, "I looted some great stuff! Come on; girl's only!"

Carol, Sophia, and Andrea stood, Lori stayed by the fire.

"Go on, honey," Rick said, giving her a push.

"It'll be fun!" Songbird said.

She'd grown up in this lifestyle, always on the road, always in a group. But the other group had been her friends…really more like family. She missed that.

They crowded into the R.V. and Songbird grabbed one of the bags she'd stuffed full at the gas station.

"I've got body wash, shampoo, face masks, deep conditioners, shave gel, razors, pedicure stuff, manicure stuff…" she laid it all on the counter as she listed it. "And we should all be able to take a shower if we do it quickly…I saw Shane fill up the reservoir earlier."

The women looked at one another and suddenly Andrea laughed.

"I want the red nail polish," she said. Then she wrapped her arm around Songbird's slim shoulders and said, "Thank you for "looting" all this. It was sweet of you."

Songbird grinned and said, "Well? Let's get started!"

The women grabbed the travel sized body washes and shampoos, razors, and shave gel, Lori, Andrea, and Songbird all grabbed deep conditioners and they took turns getting quick showers.

When it was Songbird's turn she opened the peach scented body wash she'd picked and soaped up, rinsed, and then washed her hair, applied the deep conditioner, and turned the water off so she could shave. It was nice to be able to shave again. She'd always shaved everything and she sighed in relief to be rid of the hair. It didn't grow fast and since she was strawberry blonde the hair was always light, but still…it made her feel sexy to be so smooth. Certain people didn't know what they were missing! She rinsed her hair, dressed again and headed back into the main room of the R.V. She had been the last to shower so everyone else was waiting for her. They all slathered mud masks on, except Sophia, who'd fallen asleep after Songbird had painted her nails.

While they waited for the mud to dry, Andrea braided Songbird's hair and then they did each other's nails. Songbird painted Andrea's the red she'd wanted and Carol painted Songbird's blue. Lori chose pink and Carol chose purple to match Sophia.

Andrea looked at Songbird and said, "So spill…are you having sex with Daryl?"

"No," Songbird answered, glad the mud on her face covered her blush.

Lori laughed and said, "Why would she be?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Songbird said defensively. "Daryl is hot!"

"Daryl _Dixon_?" Lori said disdainfully.

"Well, sure he's no _Shane_," Songbird replied pointedly. "But I like him."

"Daryl isn't bad looking," Carol said. "It's just that his temper…gets the best of him sometimes. We worry about you alone with him."

Lori got up and began washing her face. How did Songbird know about Shane?

"You shouldn't worry," Songbird said. "Daryl's different when he's with me…sometimes. Why do you guys hate him so much?"

"We don't hate him," Andrea said. "He has been doing better. He actually talks to T-dog…"

"Why wouldn't he?" she asked in confusion.

"Because T-dog's black," Carol said.

"Sometimes I wonder though," Andrea said. "If _Daryl _was ever really racist. Or if we just _assumed_ that he was."

"Daryl Dixon is no saint," Lori said wiping her face dry.

"None of us are," Songbird said. "And you of all people should understand what it's like to fall from grace."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lori asked.

Songbird shrugged and said, "Hasn't everyone done something they're ashamed of?"

She looked into Lori's eyes, but the other woman didn't crack.

"This has been fun," Lori said. "But I'd better get back to my family."

After she left, Songbird looked at Andrea and Carol and said, "Do you know?"

"About her and…" Andrea began.

"Shane," Songbird finished.

Carol sighed and said, "Yes."

"And you didn't say anything either?" she asked.

"It's really none of our business," Andrea said, getting up to wash her face as well.

"That's what Daryl said too," Songbird answered.

"Is that what you fought over?" Carol asked in surprise.

Songbird nodded, figuring that was the easiest explanation.

"But don't you think it's wrong? To just let Rick go on thinking that his wife is…you know, not a ho?"

"I feel for Rick, I really do," Carol said. "But this situation is stressful enough as it is, don't you think?"

"Yeah, Daryl said that someone could die," Songbird admitted.

"He may be more logical than we've given him credit for," Andrea said. "I think he's right."

Songbird got up to wash her face and noticed Rick standing outside.

"I'll be back," she said.

"Be careful!" Carol called.

"Rick?" she called. "What are you doing out here?"

"Oh, I'm just thinking," he said, giving her a smile that didn't come anywhere close to his blue eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said. "Really, Songbird, it's fine."

"Rick," she began determinedly.

"Do you ever wonder how things got the way they are?" he asked.

"You mean how Wildfire started?" she questioned.

"No," Rick answered. "Personally. How your life got to where it is. How something can happen right under your nose and you can miss it!"

She reached out and put her hand on his arm, but what she'd planned to say died on her lips when she saw a Walker stumble toward the camp.

"Rick," she whispered.

She'd gone ghost pale and he knew before he turned what they'd be facing.

"I don't have my knives," she said, realizing with a sickening jolt of panic that she'd left them in the R.V.

"Shit." Rick drew his gun as more Walkers came from the woods. "We've got to…"

"Might as well yell," she said. "Raise the alarm. They're coming anyway."

"You're right," Rick agreed. "Walkers!" he bellowed.

Daryl jerked upright in his truck and pulled his boots on, snagging his crossbow on the way out. There were several Walkers milling around and he shot the nearest one, yanked the arrow out with a sucking noise, reloaded and prayed that Songbird was still in the R.V.

Of course she wasn't. She was standing near Rick.

"Throw a knife or two!" he yelled.

"I don't have any!" she yelled back.

"Damn it!" he shouted emphatically.

He pulled the knife from his belt and tossed it to her. She lunged forward and caught it, then spun and chopped the head off of the nearest Walker and dropped to the ground to plant the knife in its brain. That was a mistake since the head got stuck to the knife. She cursed and shook the knife; the Walkers head slid down the blade and hit the ground with a dull thud. As she stood a Walker grabbed her braid and yanked her close. She closed her eyes. A wet sound and sudden stillness from the Walker informed her that she might not be dead just yet. It fell, with one of Daryl's crossbow bolts in its eye.

He did his best to keep the cross bow in a steady grip, but his heart was pounding so hard that he felt light-headed.

"I'll clear the way," he said. "Get to the fuckin' R.V.!"

Gunshots rang across the campsite as Shane, T-dog, Rick, and Dale fought. Andrea shot one of the pistols from the R.V. and when Songbird got close, she tossed her the throwing knives.

Daryl sighed when he realized that Songbird was gonna stay and fight. She stayed near the R.V. as well, throwing her knives with deadly accuracy until she ran out. Daryl was almost out of bolts, but luckily there weren't more Walkers coming. When all the Walkers were finally dead, he and Songbird had the pleasant task of removing knives and bolts from their foreheads and eye sockets. He saw Songbird gag a few times, but she managed not to throw up.

They tossed the weapons in a pile to be cleaned and made sure that all the Walkers were dead; the members of the group who'd been in combat rinsed off in the shower and, when everything was done, Daryl grabbed Songbirds arm and dragged her over to the truck.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Why didn't you have your knives?" he asked, his voice getting louder with each question. "Are you crazy? What were you thinking? Why were you out there? Damn it Songbird, have you lost your fuckin' mind?"

She wondered if he realized that he was shaking her with each question. Her hair, which she'd only loosely pinned up after her second shower, came down right around, "What were you thinking?"

"Daryl…I…" she tried to talk, but he kept yelling.

"I thought you were going to die! That…thing fuckin' had its hands on you! One fuckin' scrape! That's all it takes! Just one…"

He ran out of air and stopped, just staring at her.

Songbird looked up at him with her big dark eyes shining with tears.

"I was scared, Daryl," she admitted.

"Me too," he confessed roughly. "Songbird…I thought you were _dead_."

"I'm still here," she said, wondering why he was staring at her like that; she'd never seen that look in his eyes before. She couldn't quite catch her breath suddenly.

Daryl realized that they had the attention of the whole camp, probably because he'd been yelling at her at the top of his lungs. He didn't care.

He yanked her against him and covered her mouth with his before he could talk himself out of it. She gasped against his lips, but she threw her arms around him, so he didn't stop. After the first second of shock, Daryl was pleased when Songbird participated in the kiss fully, parting her lips for him and letting him take the kiss as deep as he needed it to be. Her lips were soft and, while not exactly skillful, she was eager to please and a fast learner. He barely held back a groan of satisfaction as he finally managed to cross one fantasy off his list. He moved one hand up to the back of her neck, unwilling to stop just yet, even though he figured he probably still had the attention of the group at large. He wasn't willing to let her go until he had to.

Songbird had to hold him tighter to stay upright. She liked the tension in his body when he kissed her; she loved the way every movement of his lips and tongue sent a forceful bolt of need through her entire body. Nothing had ever made her feel this way! She felt kind of drunk, or pleasantly high, but soon the rapidly building desire got to be nearly too much. Daryl felt her trembling and pulled back reluctantly; he didn't want to completely overwhelm her.

"Stay where I can look out for you from now on, okay darlin'?" he said.

"Okay," she answered breathlessly.

"And for fuck's sake, hold on to these!" he ordered her, handing her the knife sheaths. "Now, get your ass in my truck where you belong!"

She drew herself up, gave him a fake salute, and did as he'd asked.

He crawled in after her and tugged her close, her back to his chest.

"Get to sleep now," he said. "I guess we might be moving out in the mornin'."

She snuggled back against him, tugging the blanket up and grinning like an idiot into the darkness. That had been quite a kiss. Not that she had anything to compare it to.

"Good night, Daryl," she whispered.

"Night, darlin'," he answered, gathering her hair in his hand and sweeping it to the side, unable to resist brushing a kiss over the nape of her neck.

One kiss led to several more; Daryl moved from the back of her neck to the side, and then up, just under her ear. Her soft moan when he pressed his lips there encouraged him to do it a few more times, even though all it did was turn him on more, basically assuring him an uncomfortable night.

Songbird leaned back, resting the back of her head on his shoulder as he continued kissing her neck. She could feel his chest flex against her back as he leaned over a bit more, moving down, closer to the hollow of her throat. She could also feel something else; at least she was experienced enough by now to know what it was! She liked the way his mustache and scruffy beard scraped her skin, sending further tingles through her body. She shivered against him and felt thrilled when the movement of her body against his made him give a short, low groan.

He slid his hand down, gripping her hip, holding her still. If she arched against him like that again, he wasn't even sure he'd last long enough to try to fuck her. He could hear her breathing getting faster in the quiet confines of the camper shell. He wanted her. God, he wanted her more than he'd ever wanted any woman in his life. Just the taste of her skin and her soft sounds of pleasure and arousal had him nearly desperate. He willed himself to forget their age difference, the class difference he assumed they had, the fact that he didn't think it was fair for her to have to lose her virginity in a truck bed in a crowded camp of apocalypse survivors; he slid his hand up, pushing her shirt up to just under her breasts and resting his palm on her stomach.

"You're way too skinny, darlin'," he murmured, nipping her skin lightly.

"Oh?" it was all she could formulate.

"Yeah," his kisses got firmer and he flicked his tongue over the skin he'd just bitten.

"Oh!" her body flexed against his again, her ass pushing against the hardness behind her.

He groaned and, without meaning to, he rocked his hips forward, pushing his cock against her as he inched his fingers up to her breasts. Songbird held her breath; she wondered what it would feel like to have him touch her with his rough hands. She could feel the calluses on his palm as he moved up her body; the feel, while new, turned her on to a nearly astonishing degree. She knew that, if he were going down instead of up, all he'd have to do was brush his fingers over her and she'd cum. Her whole body felt like it was pulsing with desire, making what she'd felt when they kissed earlier seem tame.

"Daryl," she whispered, turning her head and kissing the side of his neck, gasping when he pushed forward again with a groan.

He turned his head and captured her mouth, kissing her breathless. She raised her hand and gripped the back of his head, not boldly but desperately, entwining her fingers in his hair as she returned the kiss. Just before his fingers touched the bottom of her breast they both heard a loud 'bang' and broke apart, both of them gasping for air.

"What…" she sucked in a deeper breath and said, "What was that?"

Daryl tried to collect his thoughts as he tried to even out his breathing.

"I, uh, don't know," he said, aware that this wasn't his most intelligent moment, probably due to the fact that he didn't think he had any spare blood flow to redirect to his brain.

"Should we go see?" Songbird asked, thinking that there wasn't really anything she would rather do less.

"Not we," he said. "I'll go."

"Like…um…like that?" Songbird asked, blushing.

"Close your eyes," he said, feeling ridiculous.

When she did, he made a few necessary adjustments and then pulled his shirt and boots on, grabbed his crossbow and said, "I'll be right back."

"Wait!" she sat up quickly. "Don't leave me!"

"Darlin'," Daryl began and then he shrugged. "Fine."

She pulled her sneakers on and they got out of the truck, looking around the campsite. A few others had come out too and Songbird started to pull her disheveled hair behind her. Daryl caught sight of her neck and casually shook his head. With a blush she let her hair fall around her shoulders again. He rubbed his face, wondering if his beard was really that rough or if her skin was just that sensitive. Her skin looked rug burned in places under the moonlight. It had been a long time since he'd devoted that much time to a woman's neck.

"Sorry," Glenn was saying. "It was just the car door. I wasn't thinking. I'll stay out here and make sure it didn't attract any unwanted company…"

"No, you go on to bed," Rick said. "I'll stay."

"By yourself?" Lori asked.

"Nah, I'll stay," Daryl said, everyone glanced at him in surprise. He shrugged and said, "What?"

Gradually everyone went back to their beds. Songbird lingered, disappointed.

"As soon as I know it's safe, I'll be back darlin'," he said, glancing around and then brushing a kiss over her lips. "Go to sleep."

She walked back to the truck, determined to wait him out and finish what they'd started! Daryl sat on a log, wincing and cursing under his breath. He wanted to be pissed at Glenn; he _was_ pissed…a bit. He was also relieved, even though he did _not_ welcome the sensations he was currently experiencing. He would have let it get too far; he would have done what he'd promised not to do. But God almighty, the taste of her…the way she moved against him, the way she moaned in that surprised pleasure…he cleared his throat and shifted his weight, ordering himself to stop thinking about it.

"You really don't have to stay out here," Rick said after a moment. "I can…"

"I don't mind," Daryl said. "Makes more sense to have two people to watch anyway."

There wasn't much else to say after that, so they sat in silence. About an hour passed, then an hour and a half, then two hours.

"I think its okay," Rick said into the silence.

"Yeah," Daryl said, with a glance at his truck and the total stillness therein. "Night, then."

Rick nodded; Daryl went quietly to the truck and got in, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw Songbird fast asleep. He lay down beside her, pulled the light blanket up around both of them and forced himself to fall asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning they joined the group around the campfire.

"We need to burn those," Daryl said, with a nod at the Walkers. "The smell is gonna draw more."

"It looks like we waited too late again," Carol said. "I can't believe we didn't lose anyone."

Daryl put his arm around Songbirds skinny shoulders and pulled her against his side.

"It was too damn close for me," he said. "We need to get on the road."

"On the road to where?" Shane asked.

"Any fuckin' where!" Daryl said. "Shoulda listened to me before anyway. Campin' don't make sense. They catch our scent…"

"Suddenly you're the authority on Walkers?" Shane asked. "Where'd you get your PH.D? Central Trailer Park University?"

"What the fuck does education have to do with anything?" Daryl said. "Anybody with a brain should be able to put two and two together! I'm a hunter. I know how this shit works!"

"Watch your language in front of the kids," Lori said.

Daryl laughed and said, "Yeah, God forbid they learn from me, right? I'm fuckin' still alive! You should be grateful that I don't just drive off and leave you all sittin' here!"

"Daryl," Songbird whispered. "This isn't helping. Please don't lose your temper."

He looked down at her; she looked worried. He took in a deep breath and said, "All right, darlin'."

Songbird spoke in a level, icy voice that Daryl had never heard her use.

"Daryl's right and anybody who can't figure that out should fall on their knees and thank him for bothering to take the time to protect you and explain things. The big stack of Walkers over there illustrates his point quite well I think. So, instead of insulting people," she fixed Shane with a hard look. "Maybe we could…oh I don't know…make a plan and perhaps lead longer lives?"

As everyone stared at her in surprise, she said, "We need to figure out where to go. Suggestions?"

Daryl squeezed her shoulder and grinned down at her, proud of the way she handled it.

"I suggest that we head west," she said. "There have always been less people out there…so it stands to reason there'd be less Walkers too."

Daryl and several other members of the group nodded in agreement.

Shane leaned back and smirked as he said, "So now we're following a redneck and a kid?"

"It doesn't matter how old they are or where they're from," Rick said, giving Shane a pointed look. "I think they're right."

"So you want to head into a wasteland? Away from all civilization?" Shane asked.

"Civilization isn't very civil anymore anyway," Glenn pointed out.

"Less people, less stuff," Shane said.

"But a bigger chance of finding somewhere to stay for the winter," Songbird said. "We need a permanent base."

"Wasn't Daryl just arguing that camping didn't work?" Lori asked disdainfully. "Make up your minds!"

"I said campin' wasn't workin'," Daryl said. "But if we could find a house or some kind of secure place…"

"What, you think we're just gonna run across a compound complete with weaponry and a barbed wire fence?" Shane asked.

"I doubt it," Songbird said. "Aren't most of those underground?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Shane said, staring at her.

"Well, there have been paranoid people since the dawn of time," Songbird said. "I'm sure that there are people underground that have been preparing for something like this for years! But that's not the point, since we aren't likely to run across them. Daryl's right though…"

"Why am I not surprised that you would say that?" Lori asked. "Everybody knows what you're doing! Isn't she a little young for you? Or is that how they do it in the backwoods?"

Songbird went beet red and Daryl lost his temper.

"Do you really wanna get this started?" he asked. "It wouldn't matter if I was fuckin' her…and I ain't…what matters is that she's tryin' to have a discussion with you! If you don't like her ideas you're more than fuckin' welcome to say what you think, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you of all people sit around and judge her!"

"All right, just calm down!" Rick broke in. "Do you have a plan, Shane?"

"I say we keep heading south," Shane said. "We've had good luck finding supplies…"

"And head right into the ocean?" Daryl asked. "Damn it, use your head! We'd have nowhere left to go sooner or later!"

"Congratulations, you've mastered geography," Shane said. "Hillbilly schools must be better than I thought. Are you telling me you actually graduated high school?"

"Goddammit!" Daryl shouted. "Would you let it go?"

"It's irrelevant anyhow," Rick said. "Daryl's right."

"And I won't go to Florida," Andrea said. "That's where my parents were…I can't face that."

"I say we put it to a vote," Songbird said with a sympathetic glance at Andrea. "But first, Shane…I wanna know…how many years do you have to go to college to be a small town police officer?"

Shane didn't answer. Songbird laid her hand on Daryl's thigh, feeling the tension radiating through his tightened muscles. She could tell that it was killing him to sit still and let Shane talk about him like that.

"All right," Rick said. "All in favor of heading south?"

Shane and Lori raised their hands. Rick stared at his wife, meeting the challenge in her eyes and keeping his hands at his sides. No one else moved either.

"All in favor of heading west?" Rick asked.

Shane and Lori's hands went down as everyone else's went up.

"Does anyone have a better idea?" Rick asked, just to be thorough.

Nobody spoke.

"You can't force us!" Lori burst out. "This will be the CDC all over again! You could be leading us into a death trap!"

"Look around," Andrea said. "_This_ is a death trap! Daryl's right, other Walkers will smell those and come here. We need to get our stuff together and move out!"

People began mill around, gathering their things.

"Pack up, darlin'," Daryl said. "I'm gonna start a fire and start burning those things."

She nodded and went to help pack up the camp. The women were in charge of dividing the supplies so that everyone had some food, water, and gasoline. Carol put her hand on Songbirds shoulder when she noticed the girl glancing at Daryl who, with Dale's help, was building a huge fire.

"Why did Shane have to be such a jerk to him?" Songbird said.

"Because Shane's a jerk," Andrea answered.

"And Lori's a bitch," Songbird said in a low tone. "Poor Rick. Do you think that she and Shane will split off from the group?"

"I hope not," Carol said, to Songbird's surprise. "I don't want to see the argument she and Rick would have over Carl."

Songbird nodded as she said, "I guess I didn't think about that."

It was nearly dark before they were all packed up so they decided to move out in the morning. Everybody who couldn't sleep in their cars was invited to sleep in the R.V. and Daryl and Songbird headed back to Daryl's truck. There were supplies stacked in it now, but she had made sure there was still plenty of room for them to stretch out.

"Good job, darlin'," Daryl said, taking his boots off and laying down.

He was fresh from the shower, since he'd been dragging and burning corpses all day and Songbird curled up beside him.

"Shane's such an asshole," she said after a moment.

Daryl shrugged as he said, "That's what I've been tryin' to tell everybody."

"I think you're the smartest person here," she said.

He didn't answer for a few moments and then he said, "I'm just a good hunter."

"You're more than that!" she said. "Don't let what he said get under your skin…"

"Who says I am?" he asked gruffly.

"I can tell," she said.

"How?" he asked.

"I think that, if you were in a good mood, you'd be kissing me again," she said, just a bit shyly.

She had him there.

"He's right," Daryl said into the darkness, figuring he'd tell her the truth so that she could realize what kind of guy she was with. "I didn't graduate. Dropped out in my junior year."

"So?" Songbird asked. "Want to hear a secret?"

"What?" he asked.

"I didn't graduate either," she said.

Of course that was because she'd never gone to school, but she didn't see the need to tell all her secrets at once.

"What?" he asked in shock.

She shrugged and said, "It's true. I don't care, Daryl. You know everything you need to know to stay alive. In a situation like this…face it, you're the man! Everybody's gonna want you!"

"Yeah, I have noticed that the masses are hungry for me," he said.

She laughed. She had a pretty laugh.

"See?" she said. "Smart, funny…sexy…"

"Sexy?" he asked.

She nodded against him. He tilted her chin up and kissed her.

Before he got too carried away, he said, "You asked me how old I was a few weeks ago…"

"Yeah?" she said, disappointed that he'd stopped.

"How old do you think I am?" Daryl asked.

"I don't know…" she said. "Mid thirties?"

He exhaled in relief and said, "Yeah. I'll be 36 in October."

"Okay," she said, raising her lips to his again.

"That doesn't bother you?" he asked. "You're 18!"

"So?" Songbird asked, frustrated.

"So I'm twice your age! It's fucked up!"

"Oh? Are you worried about being shunned by society?" she asked with a grin.

"I'm still not gonna fuck you," he said, holding her tight when she tried to roll over. "I don't want you regretting it. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you…but we'll just take this slow okay?"

He winced as he said it; he could practically hear Merle yelling the word "Pussy!" in his head.

"So you're going to give me plenty of time to decide whether or not I want you?" she asked. "You don't need to do that…"

"Just live with me for a while and see," he said. "You might change your mind."

"Okay fine," she said. "But really…are you going to kiss me again or not?"

"Maybe once or twice more," he admitted, lowering his lips to hers and stifling a groan at how soft and eager hers were.

Songbird liked the possessive way Daryl held her when he kissed her. He kept one hand at the small of her back and the other around the back of her neck, so that she was pressed fully against him. She buried her fingers in his hair, returning his kiss enthusiastically.

Her breasts pressed into his chest, but he could still feel the bones of her back, ribs, and hips as her body flexed against his. It worried him that she wasn't gaining much weight. The worry faded the longer he kissed her. Eventually he forced himself to stop and turned her over pulling her back to his chest to remove the temptation of her mouth.

"Good night, Songbird," he said.

"Night, Daryl," she answered, trying to catch her breath.

When the sun rose, they gathered to have breakfast before heading out.

Lori served Carl his breakfast and sat, sullen and quiet.

"Okay," Rick said, "We'll stay in a formation, everybody keep an eye on the vehicle behind them, if you run into trouble honk your horn. Also, we should be on the lookout for gas stations, grocery stores," he glanced at Songbird, "and paranoid underground survivalists." He smiled as he said it so she smiled back.

"And weapons stores," T-dog said.

"Yeah, it couldn't hurt," Daryl agreed. "I need more bolts."

"You could get a whole new crossbow," Glenn said, "That's one's kind of…"

"Watch it," Daryl said. "Ain't nothin' wrong with her."

"Her?" Songbird asked with a raised eyebrow. "Does "she" have a name?"

"All right," Rick said. "Everybody knows to avoid noise. Check the radios periodically. Let's move out."

Songbird settled herself in Daryl's truck and he waited until everyone else pulled off; he was bringing up the rear.

"So?" she asked when they were on the road. "What's her name?"

"What?" he asked.

"The crossbow…what's her name?"

"What makes you think she has one?" Daryl asked.

"The fact that you won't answer the question," she said with a grin.

"Mary Jane," he muttered.

"You named your crossbow after pot?" she asked.

"No," he said. "You know the song by Tom Petty?"

"Yeah," she said.

"It's named after the song. 'Cause if Mary Jane's aimed at you it's gonna be your last dance. I named her when I was fourteen."

Songbird laughed and said, "That's pretty funny."

Daryl shrugged and said, "Now that we'll be on the road for a while, why don't you check your computer?"

"That's a good idea," she said, sliding the back window open and reaching into the truck bed.

Daryl smacked her on the ass before he really thought about it and she squealed softly, punching him in the arm before she sat back down and plugged her charger into his cigarette lighter.

She had to wait a while before they hit a spot where she could get online and then she worked quickly.

"No new updates from the CDC, the FBI, the CIA or any news stations," she said with a frown. "Just the same old advisories to stay inside and lock your doors. What a bust."

She turned the laptop off and said, "I guess Lori was right."

"Ah fuck her," Daryl said.

"Nah," Songbird answered, "I hate waiting in line."

Daryl glanced at her in surprise and then laughed.

"So, where are you from?" she asked a bit later.

"South Carolina," Daryl said. "When it got real bad and the government started tellin' everybody to get to Atlanta I thought it was bullshit, but we ended up headin' this way anyhow 'cause of all the roadblocks and shit."

"We?" Songbird asked.

"Me and my older brother," Daryl said.

She saw his jaw tighten and decided not to ask. Obviously the guy wasn't here now; there was only one thing that could have happened to him.

"Met up with the R.V. and decided that our odds were better in a group," he finished. "So we stayed."

He cleared his throat, wondering if he was doing the right thing…heading so far away. Merle wouldn't be able to find him, even if his brother was still alive. Really alive, not just undead.

"What about you darlin'?" he asked. "Did you lose anyone?"

"Everyone," she said flatly. "My mom… she died a long time ago, when I was ten. I've never been thankful for that until now. My dad ran out on her before I was born; I never knew him."

"But you said you lost everyone," Daryl said into the silence that followed.

"I had a big extended family," Songbird said. "They raised me. When the epidemic started it spread so fast…" She swallowed hard and said, "I ran."

"We all did," Daryl answered. "My friends…my family…hell, even that bitch Deena…I guess they're all Walkers now."

She didn't know what to say to that, not without talking about the people she'd known…and she didn't want to talk about them.

"You have any CD's?" she asked, after trying the radio and hearing nothing but static.

"Yeah," he said, "in the glove box."

She opened it and pulled out a metal CD case.

"Red Hot Chili Peppers!" she exclaimed in excitement.

When the disc started, Daryl laughed suddenly and forwarded until he got to the sixth song on the Stadium Arcadium disc.

_She's only 18,_

_don't like the rolling stones,_

_she took a short cut to being fully grown_

_she's got that mood ring,_

_a little sister Rose,_

_the smell of Springsteen_

_a pair of pantyhose_

She laughed when she recognized the song and then she sang alone, making him glance twice at her when she got to the lyric of, "_She said, my man you know it's time to get your fingers wet_." She just gave him a smile and went on singing.

They rode for several hours longer and Daryl shifted in his seat impatiently.

"What's wrong?" Songbird asked.

"Gotta take a piss," he said.

"Well then, pull over," she said.

He glanced around; they were on a highway and the amount of cars unnerved him, but he didn't have much choice.

"All right," he said.

He pulled up to the van and signaled that he was gonna stop.

"What's the problem?" Rick asked when they stopped.

"Gotta pee," Daryl said.

"All right," Rick answered. "The R.V…"

Daryl laughed and said, "I was just gonna go behind the truck. Unless you're gonna arrest me for indecent exposure…"

Rick shrugged. Some of the others decided to take the opportunity to get out and stretch, or top off gas tanks. Daryl walked around behind the truck, unzipped and sighed in relief. Songbird visited the R.V.'s bathroom and said hey to Andrea and Carol.

"How much longer are we gonna be on the road?" she asked Rick when she came back out.

"Well," Rick said. "We need to at least try to find a gas station today. That R.V. really drinks the gas. We can all switch off driving…"

"I can't drive," Songbird admitted.

Daryl, who'd come to find her when he realized that she wasn't in the truck, said, "Well when we get settled I'll teach you. If I die, the truck's all yours anyway."

"Don't say things like that!" Songbird said vehemently.

"Well, you can't just let her sit on the side of the road, like all these," Daryl said, just as seriously. "She's a great truck!"

"I had a real boss car," Glenn said to Songbird. "A new Charger. They picked it apart and treated it like a bulletin board."

"Yeah, that kinda hurt," Daryl admitted. "I was workin' on a Mustang when it all went to hell. It woulda been a fuckin' beast! It had a 289 small block and a…" he stopped when he realized everyone was giving him blank looks.

"Well, I think we've pressed our luck enough," Rick said. "Let's get moving."

They got back in the cars and headed out again, looking for interstate gas station signs. It was nearly dark when they found one that actually still had gasoline. They all topped off their tanks.

"Should we go in?" Songbird asked.

Daryl got his crossbow ready, Rick drew his gun, and they walked up to the store front. Just as Rick put his hand on the door a Walker threw itself against the window to his left.

"Shit!" Rick said, stepping back quickly.

Glenn said, "There's probably an entrance at the back. You know, for employees. Maybe we should check and see if it's open before we go in. The whole place could be full."

"Is there anything we really need?" Daryl asked.

"More gas cans would always be a good thing," Rick answered. "And I see some in there."

"There's also at least six of those fuckers," Daryl said looking around the Walker pressed to the window in front of him. It was absently working its jaw as it stared at him. That was some unnerving shit. "It probably wouldn't be too hard to kill them. If that's all there are."

"So, Glenn and I will check the back," Songbird said.

"Or you could stay in the R.V.," Daryl said hopefully.

She shook her head, giving him a pleading look.

"Fine," he answered. "Hurry."

They went around to the back and checked the door.

"Dead inside" was painted in red across it. It had been chained and locked.

They walked back around.

"It's locked," Glenn said.

"And marked," Songbird added. "I don't know how many Walkers are in there, but someone closed them in."

"So this would be locked too," Rick said, tugging on the door.

"I could pick the lock," Songbird said.

Rick glanced down at her and she shrugged.

"Do we go in? We can't risk guns."

Rick nodded and took a better grip on the axe Daryl had handed him. T-dog walked up.

"I'll give you a hand," he said.

"Glenn you stay out here," Rick said.

Glenn nodded and watched Rick, Daryl, Songbird, and T-Dog head into the building.

Daryl shot the Walker that had been pressed against the glass. The others shuffled toward them slowly; Songbird picked three off quickly and Daryl took the other two. Rick and T-Dog headed for the gas cans while Songbird collected her knives and Daryl's arrows and wiped them off with the cloth Daryl handed her. Then she walked over and grabbed the remaining gas cans and headed for the door.

"Let's not overstay our welcome," she called softly to Daryl, who was wandering.

He stuffed whatever was in his hand into his already full hip pocket and walked over to her.

She glanced down at the Walker by the window as they left.

"At least they're out of their misery now," she said softly.

"I want you in the truck, Songbird," Daryl said. "We really only need one person to fill the cans and it's getting dark."

"I'll do it," T-dog said. "There's 12 cans...how do we divide them up?"

"I can carry three more," Daryl said. "Just close 'em tight. I guess most of 'em need to go to the gas guzzler," he finished, pointing to the R.V.

T-dog nodded and Daryl and Songbird got in the truck. Soon, everybody was loaded down and T-dog got back into Shane's Jeep. Rick took point again and they drove on until they came to a campground.

"Everyone keep to your cars," Rick said. "Or the R.V. It's too dark to scout the area."

Daryl set the gas cans outside and opened the tailgate to let the truck air out a bit more.

"Don't let me forget those in the mornin'," he said to Songbird.

"I won't," she said, sitting on the tailgate; she knew they'd have enough time to scoot back and close the tailgate if they saw Walkers.

Daryl reached back and rummaged through her nice neat stacks, making her frown.

"What are you looking for?" she asked.

"Found it," he said, giving her an unrepentant grin.

He slid the case of beer forward and pulled a can out, popped the top and took a long swallow.

"Never thought I'd be so happy to be drinkin' warm beer," he said, wrapping his arm around Songbird's shoulders and pulling her against him.

"If you're drinking then I am too," she said, pulling the Smirnoff out and handing it to Daryl to open.

He twisted the top off and handed it back.

"I never thought I'd be drinking with two cops a few feet away," she said with a grin, leaning back against Daryl.

"Oh yeah," he said. "You _are_ underage ain't you? I'm gonna have to confiscate that."

He made a joking grab for the beer and she stretched her arm away, distracting him by brushing her lips across his.

"Is that your idea of a bribe?" he asked.

"Maybe…" she said. "What would it take to buy your silence?"

"One more," he said, leaning forward.

She felt herself blushing, but she kissed him.

"One more," he said again when she drew back.

She brushed another kiss over his lips.

"Nah, I'm not convinced," Daryl said. "I'm just gonna have to let Rick know…"

He broke off when she pressed her lips more firmly to his, burying the fingers of her free hand in his hair. He could taste the crisp lime of the Triple Black on her lips and he kissed her back, enjoying being able to tease her, to laugh with her…simply enjoying _enjoying_ her.

This time when she pulled back, he allowed it, saying, "All right, darlin', I'll let you slide this time."

"I appreciate it," she said with a smile.

They drank and chatted for awhile, mostly about light topics, things they missed about modern society. Songbird missed music on the radio; Daryl missed football on TV.

Daryl wanted to get good and drunk, but he knew better so he stopped at seven and made Songbird stop at three. He could tell by the way that her normally throaty laugh had turned into a giggle that she was fairly tipsy anyway.

"Ready for bed?" he asked, crumpling the last can and tossing it away from the truck.

"Sure," she said, tipping her head back to look at the stars and tilting against him with a giggle. "I'm not drunk!" she said when he looked down at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Sure you ain't," Daryl said, pushing her into the truck bed and crawling in after her.

He closed the tailgate and made sure it was locked, then double-checked the cab windows and doors by leaning through the split glass. Songbird smacked his ass.

"Paying you back," she said with a grin when he sat back down and gave her a look.

Songbird attempted to braid her hair and gave up when her fingers refused to cooperate. Daryl laughed and pulled her against him, giving her a long kiss. When he lay back the truck felt like it spun a little. Hell, maybe he'd had one too many himself. He closed his eyes.

She watched him for a while and, when she was sure that he was asleep, she shifted away slightly. She was frustrated as hell. Each kiss turned her on more and he certainly didn't seem to be interested in finishing what he started the other night. She was going crazy with curiosity over what it would have felt like to have his hands on her breasts or to finally have him inside her. Songbird slid her hand down her stomach, into her jeans. They were still so loose from all the weight she'd lost that she didn't even need to unbutton them. She began rubbing slowly, afraid that she'd wake him up. It was close quarters with all the supplies, after all.

She lost her inhibitions soon enough; it had been weeks since she'd had a chance to do this! And, she supposed, being a little drunk helped too. She rubbed faster, raising her hips to meet her hand.

Daryl held himself very still; was she really doing what he thought she was doing? A low, husky moan answered his question. He acted without thinking.

Songbird jumped when Daryl's lips covered hers, catching her next moan. Her hand went still; she wasn't sure what to do. Embarrassment, confusion, and arousal all tumbled around in her alcohol hazed brain.

"Need a hand?" he asked against her mouth.

"Yeah," she said, after taking a second to figure out what he was saying, she pulled her hand out of her jeans.

Daryl slid his hand down, unbuttoning her jeans and pushing them down her hips for better access. He brushed his fingers over her pussy, kissing his way down her neck at the same time.

"You're all smooth," he said in surprise.

"Yeah," she said. "Daryl please!"

"Don't be impatient," he said. "I'm gettin' there."

He found her clit and rubbed it firmly, feeling her getting wetter and wetter.

"Like it?" he asked against her neck.

"Yeah!" she said again, raising her hips to meet his hand, a little shocked at the difference in the intensity of the pleasure when he touched her.

He started to push his fingers inside her, but then he remembered that she'd told him she was virgin, so he just stayed where he was, varying the intensity and speed of his strokes. He teased her until she moaned, arching her back and working her hips. There was enough moonlight for him to see her a bit and he admired the way her body moved. He slowed down even more, wanting to keep her just like this.

Songbird moaned and then, drunk enough to be brave, she reached out and yanked his zipper down.

"What are you…" he began, but since he didn't wear underwear, the question ended in a groan as she wrapped her hand around him.

Songbird now realized she didn't really know what to do. She'd never even seen a guy naked before. She squeezed experimentally and he moved forward a bit, thrusting into her fist.

"I don't really know how to…" she said, gasping the words out when he began to rub her faster.

"Just hold it tight," he said. "And move your hand up and down."

When she did he kissed her again, trying to delay things just a little. It _had_ been a really long time.

She pumped her fist up and down trying to keep a rhythm in spite of the fact that she was on the edge of an orgasm.

"Daryl, please!" she gasped after a few more moments.

He realized that he wasn't going to make it much longer anyway, and rubbed faster, until she arched up. He covered her mouth with his free hand just in time to muffle her scream. When she got quieter, he moved his hand down to hers, helping her stroke in a surer rhythm.

"Is that right?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yeah," he said letting her take over as he rolled onto his back.

"Is it gonna make you…you know…" she whispered.

"Yeah," he said, trying to catch his breath. "Pretty quick probably. Don't…uh…don't judge me on this performance okay?"

"Okay," she said, not really understanding what he meant anyway. She leaned up and kissed his neck as she stroked. She liked the taste of his skin.

After a few seconds he groaned and said, "Just like that, Songbird. Ah, God, darlin' don't stop, just don't stop…"

The last word came out as a groan and she felt hot liquid spill through her fingers as his whole body went tense. He had to work to keep his own voice down as he came. He'd never had a chance to release the pressure from their last close encounter and he hadn't exactly been in the mood much before that, what with the whole apocalypse and all. She hadn't stopped stroking him, and his cum lubricated her fingers so that her hand slipped up and down his cock in a way that sent shivers through his whole body.

After a few moments he pulled his shirt off and wiped his stomach and her hand with it.

"It's gonna be kinda sticky," he said. "Sorry about that."

She shrugged and cuddled up against him, still pleasantly drunk; the truck felt like it was swaying, kind of like she was in a hammock and she said, "Nobody else has ever made me…you know…"

"Cum?" Daryl asked. "Really?"

"Yeah," she said. "Did I do it right? You, I mean."

"You're a natural," he said. "But if you ever wanna practice, I'm here for you."

Songbird smiled against his chest and then rolled over, kicking her jeans the rest of the way off. He rearranged his and zipped them back up so that he wouldn't be tempted; then he tugged the blanket up around her shoulders and pulled her against him, wrapping his arm around her the way he knew that she liked. He buried his face in her tousled hair and breathed in her scent for a moment before drifting off to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning everyone gathered for status reports and the like before heading out.

Carol noticed Songbirds tangled hair and began combing and braiding it as the others got up and moved into the circle. Daryl was one of the last to arrive, because he couldn't figure out where Songbird had put his other shirt.

"Mornin'," he said, pulling the shirt on as he approached the group. "Damn it's a nice day!"

It was a nice day; cool and breezy, but bright and sunny. Perfect early fall. Everyone stared at Daryl as he continued, "Did everybody sleep good?"

There was a ragged chorus of yeses from the group and Andrea and Carol exchanged amused glances. Something about the spring in his step told Andrea exactly why he was so cheerful.

"What about you, Daryl?" she asked. "Did you sleep well?"

"Hell yeah," he said with a grin. "Best night in a _long_ time. So, what's the plan? Why we all standing around?"

"Just making sure everybody's all right," Rick said. "No problems?"

Nobody had any so they started getting in their vehicles. Songbird turned in surprise when she heard Rick raise his voice; it was the first time she'd ever heard him do that.

"You're _what_?" he asked.

"I'm riding with Shane," Lori said. "I could use a break for a while."

"Lori," Rick said, but she walked over to the Jeep and got in, looking straight ahead.

The group moved out soon after that.

"Did you see that?" Songbird asked.

"Looks like Rick's gonna have to open his eyes sooner rather than later," Daryl said, shaking his head. "We've had our differences, but…no man deserves that. If she felt that way about him she shoulda left him before the world went to hell. I don't understand why people cheat. I'd rather hear you say "fuck you" to my face than hear him say he fucked you behind my back."

"You have such a way with words," Songbird said with a reluctant grin and a shake of her head. "So, tell me what you used to do."

"What I used to do?" he asked.

"For money…you know…to pay the bills I'm assuming you had."

"I worked construction. Roofing mostly. And framing," he said.

"Framing?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said. "If you don't have a good frame the house comes down. It's like a person's skeleton."

"Did you like it?" she asked.

"I guess…" he said. "It paid the bills, like you said. And I was good at it. It was the family business."

"Really?"

"Dixon Brothers Roofing," he said. "My grandpa and his brother started it and it ended up belonging to Merle and me."

"You owned the whole thing?" Songbird was impressed.

"Well, I owned half…Merle owned the other half when he wasn't in lockup."

"What was he in jail for?" she asked.

"This and that," he answered. "Usually fightin' over somethin' stupid."

Songbird watched Daryl's face as he talked. What he was saying made Merle sound like a jerk, but she could tell that he really looked up to his brother.

"You said he was older than you right?" she said.

"Yeah, six years older," Daryl said. "Our mom died when I was three, our dad only stuck around till Merle was 16."

"You mean he just left?" she asked in surprise.

"He left with a few broken ribs, courtesy of my big brother," Daryl said. "The old man liked to drink. I'd done somethin' that pissed him off…again. Merle was out with some girl, but when he came home, the old man had just about beat me to death."

"Why?" Songbird asked, feeling sick imagining Daryl as a kid, growing up like that. Her childhood hadn't been typical, but it had been loving and fun.

"He was pretty gone," Daryl said, trying to sound light about it. She looked really upset. "Drunker than usual. Anyway, Merle came home, saw my face and got real pissed. He tackled him and beat the shit out of him. Last thing the old man said to either one of us was that if we wasn't gonna respect him then he was done. He headed out. I guess he never looked back, cause we didn't hear from him again."

"So your brother raised you?" she asked.

"Hell, he already was, even before the old man hit the road," Daryl said.

"I'm surprised you didn't get sent to foster care," Songbird commented.

"Shit," he answered. "Nobody gave a damn as long as we weren't askin' them for nothin'."

"Didn't your family…" she started.

"They were my family," he said. "Well, a lot of 'em were. Don't start makin' cousin jokes or nothin'. Merle made me keep goin' to school so nobody higher up ever really knew what happened. The cops never came to the trailer park…" he cut himself off one word too late.

"So were you happy?" she asked.

He gave her a second glance; to his surprise and relief, she didn't seem to have any opinion of trailer parks or the people who lived in them.

"Happy?" he asked. "Merle didn't beat me, he let me stay up as late as I wanted, fed me mostly junk food…"

"Taught you to hunt?" Songbird asked.

"Nah," he said. "I taught myself how to hunt. Merle wasn't exactly an outdoorsman."

"You taught yourself how to shoot like that?" she was impressed.

He shrugged, barely holding back a grin at the tone of her voice. Being admired for something was nice.

"Mary Jane was a Christmas present when I was fourteen," Daryl said. "My grandpa gathered up some money from everybody he could talk it out of and bought it for me."

"That was nice of him," Songbird said.

"He was tryin' to cheer me up," Daryl admitted. "Merle had joined the Marines and he was in boot camp."

"He left you? When you only fourteen?" she couldn't believe it.

"My grandpa lived three trailers down; he'd been lettin' me roof after school so I'd have some money. I could take care of myself," he said.

"I didn't mean you couldn't," she said, he'd sounded indignant. "I just thought that you must have missed him…"

"I guess so," Daryl said. "He kinda came and went after that."

"What about Dixon Brothers Roofing?" she asked.

"I handled it," he said. "He helped when he felt like it."

When she started to ask another question he cut in and said, "What about you darlin'? What did you do?"

"I'm eighteen," she said, neatly avoiding the question. "What do you think I used to do?"

"I just spilled my guts…what's your story?" he said.

"Let's play a game! 20 questions: What Is the Average 18 Year Old Qualified for?" She said in her best big top announcer voice.

"I can't believe you're really not gonna tell me," Daryl said.

"I'm sorry; you must answer in the form of a question!" Songbird said. Then she began humming the Final Jeopardy Theme song.

He was torn between being charmed and being annoyed.

"What do I win if I guess?" he asked.

"Umm…lip service you won't complain about?" she asked, playing with her hair and blushing.

Daryl didn't know what to say for a moment and then he gave her a grin and said, "You got it darlin'."

Songbird smiled too and said, "So…guess away."

"Waitress," he said.

"Nope."

"Grocery store cashier."

"Nope. That's two."

"Gas station cashier."

"Nope and I'll give you a hint…I was never a cashier," she said.

"Fast food."

"No."

"Salesgirl?"

"Nope."

"Drive in waitress and don't say nope till I get to picture you in them skates for a few more minutes."

"Nope," she said, leaning in close and whispering, "and that's six."

"Factory?"

"No way!"

"Construction? That'd be hot too," he said.

"Construction _is_ hot," she said, putting her hand on his thigh. "But nope. Eight."

"Prostitute," he said.

"Yeah, everybody loves a virgin hooker," she said with a laugh. "That's nine."

He thought for a moment and then said, "Well, hell darlin' the only thing left is circus freak!"

"I'm not a freak!" she said indignantly.

"Hey…don't go crushin' all my dreams," he said. "No skates, no tool belt…now you're telling me you ain't a freak?"

He shook his head in mock despair.

Songbird eased her way into his lap, putting her back to the driver's side door so he still had room to steer, seeing an opportunity. She kissed her way up his neck and, when she got to his ear, she whispered, "Its okay, Daryl. You'll _love_ the consolation prize."

He meant to demand the truth from her, but she continued kissing and whispering shy little hints about what they were going to do when they hit the state line and camped for the night and he forgot about it after a while.

It took a depressingly long time to get the Alabama state line. Daryl had begun to wonder if they'd ever make it. They had managed their goal of camping before dark, but just barely.

When they parked in their customary circle, Daryl jumped out, went around and pulled Songbird out of the truck and said to the group at large, "We're goin' scoutin'."

He yanked her into the woods.

"Daryl what are you…" she began, breaking off when his mouth covered hers.

"You can't tease me like that all day and not know what I'm doin'," Daryl said with a grin. "What'd you call it? My consolation prize?"

He tugged her further into the woods.

"Ummm…I know I said that…" she squeaked. "But I thought tonight! In the truck! Daryl, I don't even know how to do it!"

"Oh, I'll teach you, darlin'," he said.

She stumbled along behind him, freaked out and exhilarated at the same time. Her breath went out in a gasp when he swung her around, pressing her back to a tree and burying his fingers in her hair, kissing her the way he'd wanted to all day.

It helped, and by the time he turned around, putting his hands on her shoulders and pushing down, she was more than eager to learn. She knelt in front of him, unbuckling his belt with shaky hands.

"Don't be so nervous," he said, reaching down and brushing his fingers down her cheek. "It don't bite."

She smiled and unbuttoned his jeans, then took a deep breath and slid his zipper down. His pants, weighed down by the miscellaneous crap in his pockets, slid down instantly. He bit his lip, looking down at her. This moment always made him nervous. He was perfectly normal and actually a little bigger than the "average" but still… he was relieved when she wrapped her hand around his cock.

She glanced up at his face as she hesitantly wrapped her hand around him, moving it up and down the way he'd taught her last night. It had been too dark to see it then so this was her first real glimpse of him. She had nothing to compare it to, of course, but she really liked what she saw and she wasn't nearly as nervous as she had been at first. She gathered her courage.

"Can I…umm…" she trailed off, blushing.

"Yeah," he said, leaning back against the tree. "Trust me…you pretty much can't do it wrong."

She leaned forward; her lips had just touched the head of his cock when they heard a low voice say, "Scouting huh?"

She recognized Shane's voice and bolted to her feet, aware that she was blushing tomato red. Daryl jerked his pants back up and said, "And what are you doin'?"

"Nothing nearly so interesting," Shane said with a smirk.

"Aww, I'm sure Lori will be right along," Daryl responded, pissed off at the way Shane was looking at the Songbird.

"What did you say?" Shane asked.

"You heard me," Daryl said, moving Songbird out from in front of him. "What the fuck you looking at her like that for? Like you ain't never done this? Everybody and their fuckin' brother knows about you and her."

"I can think of at least one brother that doesn't," Shane said.

Daryl lunged for Shane, tackling him onto the grass, but Shane rolled them over, gaining the upper hand long enough to punch Daryl in the face. Songbird didn't really know what to; she couldn't make a noise to distract them, and she figured that a throwing knife to the back of Shane's head wouldn't be sportsmanlike. Daryl dodged the next punch; Shane's hand hit the ground, Songbird's knife landed right beside his closed fist. Shane glanced up, Daryl kneed him in the balls and he rolled over. When Daryl got to his feet and drew back to kick him in the ribs, Songbird grabbed his arm and pulled him backwards.

"Stop it!" she exclaimed. "Daryl please! You'll draw the Walkers with too much noise!"

Daryl wiped the blood off of his face and spat more of it into the grass. Shane had a decent right hook. Shane stood and Songbird drew another knife, since she didn't want Daryl anywhere near his crossbow when he was this pissed off.

"Did you hear him?" Daryl asked.

"I heard him," she admitted. "But we don't know what's out there! This isn't time to be petty!"

"Petty?" Daryl repeated. "He's talkin' about my brother!"

"Look," Songbird said. "He shouldn't have okay? But…maybe you shouldn't have said what you said either. You're a cop," she continued, looking at Shane. "You shouldn't have such a short fuse!"

Shane started to say something, but then they heard footsteps in the woods to their left.

Shane aimed his gun, but he put it back down when Rick appeared.

Rick took in the scene. Daryl with a bleeding lip, Shane covered in dirt, Songbird looking like she was on the verge of tears.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Can we go back to camp?" she said.

"Yeah, we think it's clear," Rick said. "And Carol's fixing supper."

Daryl picked up his crossbow and Songbirds knife and slung his arm around her shoulder, steering her back to the camp.

Rick looked at Shane.

"What the hell was that about?" he asked.

"What?" Shane asked. "We just ran into each other while we were scouting."

"You ran into each other so hard that Daryl started bleeding?" Rick questioned.

"What? You're my superior officer now?" Shane said. "I don't have to explain myself to you."

He walked away, and, after a moment, Rick followed.

Supper was tense. Daryl and Shane shot death glares at each other the whole time and Songbird was reminded of the way alpha male animals acted when they were forced into a cage together. It was only a matter of time before this pressure cooker burst into a bloodbath. She vowed to simply keep the men separated as much as possible. It shouldn't be too hard since they hated each other and everything.

After supper everyone chatted about the possibilities of Alabama.

"Anyone ever been there?" Rick asked.

"I have," Songbird said. "But only the big cities. I assume we'll be avoiding those."

"Yes," Rick said with a nod. "I got some maps from that gas station; I marked the routes on them. Every car needs a map. I don't think we'll get separated, but it could happen. There will be no changes to the route unless we all stop and talk about it, so until further notice, this is where everyone will be heading."

Daryl spread the map Rick handed him open and squinted at it in the low light of the fire. They would be going straight across the top part of Alabama and into Mississippi.

"Remember to keep your eyes open for a gun store," Glenn said.

The group chatted longer; Daryl began playing with Songbirds hair, mostly trying to calm his temper. She leaned against him with a pleased sigh, reminding him of how she sounded when she was turned on. He remembered the feeling of her lips on his cock.

"Ain't it nearly bedtime?" he whispered in her ear.

She shivered and said, "Sounds good to me."

He got up and said, "Well, I'm goin' to bed. We wanna head out bright and early right?"

"Yeah," Rick said and everyone began heading for their chosen vehicles for sleep.

Daryl went to the truck and Songbird stayed to help clean up the mess from supper before heading for the truck herself, already imagining taking Daryl into her mouth again.

"Songbird?"

She turned to see Sophia standing by the R.V.

"What is it?" she asked, pausing and trying not to sound impatient.

"I miss you," Sophia said pitifully.

"Aww, Sophia, I'm sorry," Songbird said. "When we get settled somewhere, we'll have a lot more time to spend together…"

"I want to spend time with you _now_," she said in that way little kids asked for things, somewhere between a whine and heartbreak.

"Well it's almost bedtime," Songbird protested, glancing toward the truck.

Daryl leaned against the side of the truck and crossed his arms, waiting impatiently.

"I know," Sophia said. "I want you to sleep in the R.V. with us! It'd be like a sleepover!"

"Sophia…" she began firmly. Then she caved. Sophia looked really sad. "Let me get my stuff."

"This will be so much fun!" Sophia said, giving her a smile and running to the R.V. to let her mom know that Songbird was going to spend the night.

Songbird trudged over to the truck.

"Did I just hear what I think I heard?" Daryl asked.

"What do you think you heard?" she asked.

"It sounded to me like you makin' plans to sleep somewhere that's not with me," he said. "But it can't be that right?"

"She gave me the look," Songbird said despondently. "I couldn't say no!"

"Why the hell not?"

"Because she's a little kid! And I haven't been spending much time with her since we started…um…this. It's just for one night," she went on when he didn't seem exactly moved. "It's just a sleep over type thing."

"I've seen better timing," Daryl said sullenly.

"Yeah, me too," Songbird said, getting her bag out of the truck bed. "I'll be back tomorrow."

"Fine," he said with a shrug. "Just act like you've got some sense and stay in the R.V. all night."

Songbird gathered that he was not going to offer her a kiss goodnight, so she took matters into her own hands, wrapping her arms around him and pressing her lips to his. He didn't respond at first, but then he gave in, grabbing her waist and pulling her body against his. He kissed her till she was out of breath.

"Sure you won't stay with me?" he asked, kissing the spot just under her ear that tended to make her putty in his hands.

"I can't let Sophia down," she said breathlessly. "I really, really wish I could…but I can't."

He moved down, kissing her neck as he boosted her up onto the tailgate. Daryl figured he was gaining ground when she wrapped her legs around him as her head dropped back. Songbird buried her fingers in his hair, enjoying the feel of his beard scraping her neck. Maybe Sophia would understand…

She heard a rustling sound and was on the verge of speaking when Daryl turned.

"You hear something?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said.

He was reaching for the crossbow on the tailgate beside them when Sophia appeared beside the truck.

"Are you ready Songbird?" she asked.

Even Daryl couldn't say no when he saw the ear-to-ear grin on the kids face.

"I'm walkin' ya'll across," he said, helping Songbird down from the tailgate.

"Were you kissing?" Sophia asked.

Songbird went beet red and Daryl coughed.

"Well? Were you?" Sophia asked again when neither of them answered.

"Yes," Songbird said. "I'm sure your mom and dad…"

"No," Sophia said. "Not like that."

Daryl realized that the Songbird wouldn't know what Ed had been like.

"I was just telling Songbird goodnight," he said, thanking God they were at the R.V. now. "Get in there and don't come out till mornin'."

Carol opened the door for them and Sophia smiled and said, "Thanks for walking me across Mr. Dixon!" before walking into the R.V.

"Mr. Dixon?" Daryl asked in an undertone.

Songbird shrugged and said, "I don't know…I only ever call you Daryl."

"It's the way she was raised," Carol said. "She doesn't call adults by their first names unless she's been told she can. Her father was…strict about it."

"Well you can tell her that it's okay," Daryl said, feeling a bit awkward. Nobody had ever, in his entire life, referred to him as Mr. Dixon. "I don't care if she calls me Daryl."

Carol smiled and said, "You can take it up with her in the morning."

He sighed and realized that Carol and Andrea were gonna stay in the doorway until they saw what they wanted to see. Hell, even Dale was hanging out in the general area. Songbird glanced up at him.

"Well, goodnight," she said.

"Goodnight darlin'," he said, taking half a step away then turning back and giving her a kiss.

It was quick, but everyone in the door way gave him a look…Dale a knowing grin, Carol and Andrea a melting, "Oh isn't he sweet" glance.

"Ah fuck," he muttered, walking away.

As he walked across to his truck he couldn't help but glance over his shoulder. He didn't see anything, but he sure as hell _felt _something. He was, as Songbird would have put it, "freaked out."

The watcher looked at him, no more pity, no more warmth, the only thing on the watchers mind now was death.

Daryl got in the truck and locked up carefully before he lay down. He missed the Songbird and, for some reason, his heart was still pounding. He'd be happy to get on the road again.

Songbird talked with Sophia until she fell asleep and then glanced up at Carol and Andrea.

"Are you still going to try to make me believe that the two of you aren't…" Andrea glanced at Sophia, making sure she was still asleep.

"We really aren't," Songbird said. "How about if I promise to let you know when we do? Would that make you feel better?"

Andrea smiled at her and said, "I can't help it! There's not much other action going on around here!"

"Really though, Songbird? You're not?" Carol asked softly.

"No!" she said. "Why the sudden interest in my non-existent sex life?"

"Well, it's just that…now wouldn't exactly be a good time to have a baby." the woman continued.

Songbird blushed.

"I know that," she said.

"I didn't think about that," Andrea admitted. "In that case, you're under orders to leave "Mr. Dixon" alone."

"But I don't wanna leave Mr. Dixon alone," Songbird said with a pout as she lay down.

She spent a basically sleepless night on the R.V. floor, missing Daryl like crazy. The sun wasn't even up when she woke up, but she figured that she could get to the truck with no problem.

Songbird had to leave her bag because she couldn't get to it without waking Sophia, but she did put her knife sheaths on. She looked out the window, didn't see anything worth worrying about, and stepped out of the R.V. She walked quietly over to Daryl's truck. She heard something, but before she even had a chance to reach for a knife she felt a jarring blow to the side of her head and fell.


	8. Chapter 8

Daryl woke up in a bad mood. He'd hoped Songbird would come back when she woke up. But the morning sun was up, hell; people were gettin' ready to move out!

He yanked his boots on and walked over to the R.V.

"Where's my girl?" he asked without really thinking about it.

"What?" Dale asked.

"The Songbird," he said.

"I don't know," Dale answered. "We woke up and she'd gone back to your truck."

Daryl stared at him and tried to be rational.

"No. No, she never came back to the truck."

Dale had seen the color drain from the other man's face before he spoke.

"Well, let's keep calm," Dale said. "You should sit down."

Daryl sat.

"Maybe she's out there helping them," Dale said. "I haven't been out this morning. I just assumed when she wasn't here that she was with you. I'm sure she's…"

Daryl heard the words as if he was underwater, or they were in a language he didn't know very well. He wondered when his heartbeat would stop being the loudest thing he heard.

"Fuck," he said after a moment. "What the fuck am I sittin' here for?"

"Because you looked like you were about to hit the ground," Dale said. "Are you feeling better now?"

He wasn't. He wouldn't be until he had her in sight.

"She's gotta be out there. At the fire," he said, standing up. "Right?"

"It's very likely that she is," Dale said, accompanying Daryl out of the R.V.

"Seen the Songbird?" Daryl asked the group fixing breakfast.

"I thought she was with you," Andrea said. "I haven't seen her all morning."

"Oh my God," Carol whispered.

"There're no signs of Walkers," Rick said quickly, before the panic could spread. "I'm sure she's around. Now we'll get a search party together and we'll have her back in no time."

For some reason, the calm way that Rick said it made Daryl feel confident, marking the first time ever that he'd believed anything a cop had to say. They fanned out, searching.

Songbird woke up slowly. The pain in her head was intense, it was almost like that time she'd fallen off the horse…

"Hey there "darlin'"," a man's voice said.

It wasn't Daryl; even in pain she knew that she'd never heard this voice before. She forced her eyes open. She could feel that her hands were tied behind her back and see that they were in the woods. She was yanked upright and she groaned at the pain that movement sent radiating through her head.

"I said hey," the man said. "You don't wanna be polite?"

There was something very familiar about the man's accent, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She knew for a fact that she didn't know him.

"Hey," she replied, staring up at the man.

"That's better," he said. "There's a good girl."

"What do you want?" she asked.

"What do I want?" he repeated. "I came back for one reason…well two really. I wanted to get revenge and I wanted to get the only member of my family I have left. Now I can't have one of those things but I can sure as fuck have the other."

"Your family?" Songbird asked. "Who would that be?"

"Oh, he'll be along," the man answered. "He'll find me. I used to believe he'd always find me."

"What if Walkers find you instead?" she asked.

He sat beside her, yanking her up and putting his arm around her, holding her in place against his side.

"Then I'll use you as bait and run," he said giving her a squeeze. "But I've checked and this area is pretty clear. So, we'll sit here and get to know each other. It's only right."

He gave her another squeeze as he pointed a gun at her with his left hand. She looked down and realized that he was missing his right.

"She's not here," Daryl said, his shoulders slumping.

"We'll just have to take the search deeper," Rick said putting his hand on Daryl's shoulder briefly.

"Are you crazy?" Lori said. "You don't know what's out there! What if you stir up the Walkers and lead them right back to us?"

"Are you that heartless?" Carol burst out. "She could be hurt!"

"If she's hurt she's dead," Lori said. "She's not worth our lives!"

"Maybe she isn't worth yours, but she's worth mine!" Daryl said. "If ya'll won't help me then I'll look by my fuckin' self!"

"Hey!" Rick said. "I'm going to help you. I won't force anyone else to do the same, but I will help. Takin' volunteers."

T-dog, Dale, Glenn, and, to Daryl's surprise, Shane, all stepped up.

"Okay," Rick said. "Women and kids get in the R.V. if any Walkers come then you could just drive on if you need to."

Lori stormed into the R.V., tears streaming down her face.

"It'd be better to hunt in teams," Rick said.

So Daryl ended up going in one direction with Glenn, Dale and Rick went in another direction, and Shane and T-Dog in still another.

The man beside her was really freaking Songbird out. The sun got higher in the sky as he rambled on, one minute talking about Walkers, the next about losing his hand.

"Did they tell you that?" he asked. "How I lost my hand? Those fucks left me for dead! Even my own brother…my baby brother…he didn't come back for me. After everything I did for that little bastard and he runs off and leaves me?"

He looked down at her as he said, "But…you are pretty. Young as hell though. You even legal?" Then he laughed and said, "Or does that matter anymore?"

"I'm legal," Songbird said. "Not that it should make any difference to you."

"Oh it does girl, it does," he said. "I was plannin' to just kill you in front of him, but maybe I'll make him watch you fuck me first…"

"How do you plan to make me do that?" she asked, her temper getting the best of her for a moment.

"I'm pretty sure you'd do it if I put a gun to his head," the man said.

"I'm pretty sure I wouldn't!" she answered vehemently. "I don't even know who you're talking about!"

"He never even told you about me?" the man seemed genuinely shocked for a moment and then he said, "That little fuckin' prick!"

"Well, why don't you tell me about him?" Songbird suggested, very aware of the gun on her and praying that Daryl would show up soon.

"Why should I?" the man said.

"A way to pass the time?" she asked, swallowing hard.

"All right fine," the man said. "My little brother fuckin' worshipped me. He wouldn't say it…but he fuckin' did. His fuckin' hero, that's what I was. Then he walks away without lookin' back…who the fuck does that to their hero?"

"Does your brother have a name?" she asked.

He snorted and said, "You oughta know it…course he never was as good as me…maybe you never get to scream it. Deena sure screamed mine that one time."

"Deena?" she asked. Then the pieces slid together so quickly that her mouth literally dropped open. "Merle?"

"So he did mention me huh?" Merle said.

"Daryl misses you so much!" she said. "I thought you were a Walker! Merle, don't do this. Daryl will be so happy to see you!"

Merle laughed bitterly. "Happy? He was so fuckin' eager to see me again he headed in the exactly the opposite fuckin' direction! And he's taking goddamn forever to get here now!"

Daryl stood just about frozen a few feet away. His brother was alive, he wanted to kill Songbird who was also alive, and he'd (apparently) slept with Deena. Hell, it was starting to seem like everybody had been gettin' a piece of that bitch. He shook his head and prioritized.

"Go get the others," Daryl said quietly. "Then come back."

Glenn nodded wordlessly and made tracks. Daryl stepped into Merle's line of sight.

"Merle?" he asked.

"Well there's my little brother," Merle said, standing up and dragging Songbird with him, holding her in a chokehold in the crook of his right arm and pressing the gun to her temple with his left hand. "Late as always."

"I came back for you," Daryl said. "But you were gone."

Merle snorted and said, "And I'm supposed to believe that you…the master woodsman…couldn't fuckin' find me?"

"I thought you'd go back to camp," Daryl said. "You stole the damn van right out from under me!"

Merle's grip wavered for a second as he said, "You were there?"

"Yeah! Fuck Merle! What kind of man do you think I am?"

"I'll tell you what kind of man you are!" Merle said, his chokehold on Songbird tightening until she gasped and coughed. "You're just like the old man. Leavin' just when people need you most."

"That ain't true! Merle I been goin' crazy…I thought you were dead!"

"Crazy?" Merle repeated. "Yeah, you looked real crazy the other night. Sittin' on your fuckin' tailgate drinkin' beer with your little jailbait bitch…"

"Don't talk about her like that," Daryl said.

"What you gonna do about it?" Merle asked. "You gonna shoot me? Come on Daryl, be a man! God knows I tried to teach you how."

Daryl looked at Songbird; she fighting not to cry and he could tell by the way she was breathing that Merle was putting a lot a pressure on her windpipe.

"Come on," he said, trying not to show how scared he was. He wondered if Merle was really crazy or just pissed off. If he was just pissed off Daryl knew that he was the only one who could talk him down. "The Songbird's got nothing to do with this. This is between you and me. She wasn't even part of the group when we lost you…"

"You didn't fuckin' _lose_ me!" Merle yelled. "You fuckin' _left_ me!"

"I didn't leave you! I came back for you! And your dumbass was fuckin' gone!" Daryl said. "_You_ left _me_! You coulda come back to the damn camp and got me! You know I woulda gone with you!"

"Bullshit! You went with them!"

Merle's hold got tighter and Songbird made a sound between a gasp and a squawk for air.

"God, Merle come on! Just let her go!" Daryl couldn't stand the panic on her face.

He held the crossbow ready but he didn't know if he could kill Merle before Merle killed Songbird. Hell, he didn't know if he could kill Merle at all. He felt numb. If he could just figure out what to say!

"What are you gonna do, Daryl? Fuckin' cry?" Merle laughed. "Jesus boy! Don't tell anybody I raised you!"

"No, I'm not gonna fuckin' cry," Daryl exclaimed, feeling his grip on his temper slipping.

"You think I didn't hear you after the old man left? Or when you found out about Deena and Lloyd and came slinkin' back home like a goddamn kicked dog? What the fuck Daryl?"

"Godamnit Merle! Don't make me do this!" Daryl said. "Just let her go! You can come back to camp…anybody might be a little crazy after being alone for so long…"

"Fuck that!" Merle said furiously. "When I get done there won't be a fuckin' camp to come back to! I was gonna take you with me but fuck you too! I'm only tryin' to figure out which would hurt you worse…to see her get shot in the stomach and watch her bleed out or…" he moved to the side, dragging her with him, and picked up a long, curved hunting knife like the one Daryl carried. "This knife's all coated with Walker blood. Maybe I just scrape her up a bit and we'll watch her turn."

"No!" Songbird kicked and fought, but there wasn't much she could do. She was strong for her size, but Merle had over a hundred pounds on her and he held her easily, laughing as she struggled.

"Now she's gettin' wild," he said. "This what she's like in the back of your truck? I'd be still baby," he continued, resting the knife on her throat.

She froze.

"Daryl please," she begged. "Oh God, Daryl I don't want to be a Walker! Please…"

"Merle…" Daryl took a deep breath. "Come on. If you're mad then be mad at me but don't do this to her. She's just…hell she's barely more than a kid!"

Merle laughed again, that crazed laugh that told Daryl there wasn't gonna be any comin' back from this. He still couldn't pull the trigger.

"I _am_ mad at you, little brother," Merle said. "And this is the best way I know to hurt you."

He tapped the knife on her neck. She choked back a sob.

"Let her go," T-dog said, coming up on Merle's left.

"Well, well," Merle said. "Come back to finish the job?"

Rick stepped up beside Daryl, his gun trained on Merle as well.

"And the cop," Merle said. "If you wanted me dead, you shouldn't have left it to a nigger. Shoulda been a man and just shot me! Ain't none of you real men! And can't none of you shoot me without me killin' her first and you know it."

"What do you want from me?" Daryl asked. "I did everything I could! Walkers attacked the camp…was I supposed to sit there by myself and wait for you? For all I knew you were dead! You knew where the fuck I was! Why didn't you come back to camp?"

His brother didn't know it, but Shane, Dale and Glenn were flanking him, guns drawn. Daryl could barely force words through his tight throat, but he continued yelling so Merle wouldn't hear their footsteps.

"What the fuck do you want me to do? You want me to say I'm sorry? I'm fuckin' sorry! Sorry that I wanted to survive, sorry that you didn't come back for me, sorry that you're such a fuckin' prick! Goddammit Merle…"

Shane shot him in the side of the head. Songbird jerked back, pivoting to get away from the blade at her throat. Merle fell and Daryl dropped to his knees.

"Goddammit, Merle," he said again.

Dale stepped up and caught Songbird as her knees gave out, helping her sit with her back against a tree and tilting her chin up gently to see if she was cut. She gasped in relief when he told her that the skin hadn't been broken. Then she buried her face in her hands and began to cry, hard sobs that wracked her whole body.

Daryl heard her, but he couldn't move. His brother lay in the grass, blood still pouring from the hole in head. He couldn't figure out what to do or how to feel. All he felt at the moment was sick. He swallowed hard. He needed to get over to Songbird. He needed to figure out how to stand up without falling over.

Rick reached down, offering Daryl his hand. Daryl swallowed his pride and took it, letting Rick help him to his feet. He walked over to Songbird and pulled her up and into his arms.

"You're okay?" he asked.

She nodded, getting as close to him as she could as she said, "I was so scared, Daryl."

And he hadn't been able to protect her. Hadn't been able to say what Merle needed to hear, hadn't been able to stop Shane from putting a bullet into his brother's brain. Songbird felt Daryl shiver, a head to toe nearly convulsive shiver and she drew back and looked at him. Or she tried to anyway. He wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Can you take me back?" she asked.

"I can't just leave him," Daryl said. "Not like this. He'd be Walker food for sure."

"You're right about that," T-dog said. "You need any help?"

"No," Daryl said. "I'll be fine. I just…"

He glanced around, realizing that he didn't have a shovel.

"We'll take the Songbird back," Rick said. "And I'll bring you a shovel."

"Wait," Songbird said. "Do you want me to stay?"

"No," Daryl said flatly.

"Oh," Songbird didn't know what to say. "You'll run if you see Walkers right?"

He nodded and she let Dale lead her away. After everybody was out of sight, Daryl went back and sat next to his brother. He couldn't quite get enough air into his lungs and he kept hearing Merle's mocking, "You gonna cry?" in his head. He swung between fury at Merle for trying to kill Songbird and grief and loss in the knowledge that his brother was gone for good. He rested his forehead on his knees, feeling really cold. He couldn't stop shaking actually.

"Daryl?" Rick said, announcing his presence so that he didn't get an arrow to the face.

"You got the shovel?" Daryl asked.

"I got two," Rick said, fully expecting Daryl to tell him to fuck off.

Instead he stood up and held out his hand for one of the shovels, saying, "Might as well just dig here."

They dug in silence for a while. Rick wasn't going to talk unless Daryl wanted to.

"He wasn't always like this," Daryl said after a long time.

"Well, stressful situations can make people behave more violently than normal," Rick began.

"Oh no, he was always a mean sumbitch," Daryl said, a ghost of a smile flickering across his face. "But he wasn't crazy or nothin'. Merle just…hell he was a selfish, mean, stubborn motherfucker."

They dug a bit more, rolled Merle into the grave and began covering him up. When the grave was full Daryl spoke the words that would be Merle Dixon's only eulogy.

"But I loved him."


	9. Chapter 9

Songbird watched Daryl cross the camp and head for the truck.

"Daryl?" she called.

He didn't turn around or even slow down.

She didn't know what to do.

"Just let him be for now," Rick said. "He'll come to you when he's ready to talk."

"Okay," Songbird answered.

Eventually night fell and Daryl still hadn't come back so she walked over and knocked on the camper shell window.

He opened the tailgate, but before she could crawl in, he came out.

"I'm so sorry, Daryl," she began.

"Yeah," he said, cutting her off. "Songbird, I want my truck to myself tonight."

He closed the tailgate in her face before she could gather her thoughts to speak. She took a deep breath to avoid crying and walked back to the R.V.

"He threw me out," she said.

Andrea sat down beside her and wrapped her arm around Songbirds shoulders.

"I'm sure he just needs time to think," she said.

"I know," Songbird wiped tears from her cheeks as she admitted, "But I need him."

Daryl lay back. He wanted Songbird with him but he clearly didn't deserve her. She'd come to him for protection and he'd almost let his brother kill her. His brother that was dead now. He wished that he was one of those guys that could go numb when bad things happened, but he couldn't. He decided to take numbness where he could get it. He slid the case of beer he'd opened the other night across to his side and popped the top of one, thinking that shit-faced drunk sounded good right about now. Like father like son.

He drank fast, crumpling the cans and throwing them out the window. He finished the case, leaning his head back against the camper shell, finally feeling numb…well, almost numb.

He had to piss like a fuckin' racehorse.

"Damn it," he mumbled, fumbling with the latch on the tailgate and, when it gave, half falling out. "Fuck."

He started for the tree line, lost his balance and leaned against the side of his truck with a shrug and half of a laugh as he unzipped. He tilted his head back and sighed in relief as the inevitable byproduct of…he frowned, trying to figure out how much he'd had to drink. Whatever 24 minus 7 was…21? No, 17. 17 beers, hit the ground. And he had those other cases somewhere; he tried to remember where the Songbird had put them as he zipped up again. He glanced down, wondering, just a bit too late, if he'd pissed on his boots.

Looking down was a mistake. The world tilted; Daryl staggered for a second, and the rest of the beer decided not to wait to make its reappearance. When it was finally over, Daryl's throat hurt, his stomach ached and his vision was so blurry that for a moment he couldn't figure out which tailgate to lean on. In the end he just closed his eyes and picked one. Luckily it turned out to be the right one. He dragged himself into the truck bed, grabbed a bottle of water and rinsed his mouth out, spitting over the tailgate and almost falling out again in the process.

"Ah fuck," he muttered, realizing he wasn't quite done. This time when he was finished, his throat felt raw, he was pretty sure his stomach was inside out, and he barely had the strength to rinse his mouth out and close and lock the tailgate.

"Jesus," he said laying back again and swallowing hard. "That hurt. God, I thought I'd die when I couldn't find her…and then I couldn't keep her safe. All she wanted was for me to keep her safe. Jesus, God…Merle said You were for ignorant fuckers who couldn't think for their self. That bastard said a lot of things. Why didn't he come back for me? Why didn't I mean anything to him? Why do I mean something to her? Did you see her face God? Did you see? She trusted me and I couldn't do anything. If You're up there then I need a favor. I need to stay away from her before I hurt her worse…I can't do that…I can't lose her too…" his prayer ended abruptly when his shocked system gave up the fight and Daryl passed out.

The next morning when Songbird stepped out of the R.V. and started over to the truck, Shane called her name.

She turned in surprise.

"I'd leave him alone," Shane said with a nod to the pile of beer cans outside the truck.

"But he might…" she began.

"He might want to be alone," Shane cut in. "He lost his brother yesterday. From what I knew of them, they were close. Leave him alone."

He turned to walk away and she swallowed hard and said, "Shane!"

He turned back to face her and she continued, "I need to tell you something. Thank you for saving my life."

"It used to be my job," he answered.

"Yeah, but it's not anymore," she said, wondering why he was making this so hard. "And I know you don't really like me or Daryl, so I can't help wondering why you did it."

"You think I'm a big enough douche bag to just let you die?" he asked walking toward her so quickly that she took a step back. "I'm not an awful person! Marriages break up every day don't they? What the fuck gives you the right to judge me? What is it you're hiding Songbird?"

"Shane, I don't give a damn who you're sleeping with," Songbird said. "What bothers me is that Rick is your friend and you're lying to him! Both of you are lying and he's not stupid. He's a cop for God's sake! Figuring this stuff out is his job! It's true that I have no right to judge you, but you and Rick are both instrumental in keeping this group alive. I like being alive. Situations like this need to be handled very carefully at anytime, but during something like this the answer sure as hell isn't to sneak around and bang another man's wife behind his back!"

"And what is the answer, Songbird?" Shane asked.

"You could try telling him the truth," Songbird said and when Shane snorted, she said, "I know it's not gonna be fun, but if you do it when we're all there; we wouldn't let Rick kill you or anything."

"So you think I should just gather everybody around a fire and tell them that I've been fuckin' Rick's wife?"

She flushed under the sarcasm of the question but she said, "Shane, everybody knows. You don't exactly hide it. I just think that you should get it out there in the open rather than letting Rick find out the hard way. Don't you owe him that?"

Shane started to answer, but the camp was getting pretty busy and he walked away instead. She glanced back over at the truck and then followed Shane. Maybe he was right.

"It seems relatively Walker-free here," Rick said at breakfast. "So, due to the circumstances, I think that we may stay here today. Everybody just keep close to the vehicles and be on your guard."

The group nodded and Rick said, "Songbird? I'd like to talk to you."

"Okay," she said walking with him to his car.

"I just wanted to make sure you were all right," Rick said.

"Yeah," she answered. "Dale checked me over and the skin wasn't broken…"

"I know that," Rick said, giving her a smile. "I mean personally. That had to have been terrifying. How are you holding up?"

"I don't know," she answered. "It doesn't seem real. I don't understand most of what Merle was talking about."

Rick told Songbird about how he'd met Merle and the kind of man he'd seemed to be.

"So, I handcuffed him to the roof," Rick said. "It's not something that I should have done in those circumstances, but I was thinking like a small town cop. I gave the key to T-dog and when we got attacked T-dog dropped it down a drain so that there wasn't a chance of getting it back. He ran," he said simply. "But he chained the door so the Walkers couldn't get to Merle."

"And Merle cut off his own hand to get away," Songbird said with a grimace. "I got all the details of that from the man himself. What really happened after that?"

"We came back to camp," Rick said. "And I found out that Merle had a brother that we'd have to tell. Daryl didn't get back till the next morning and he did not take the news well."

"What did he do?" she asked.

"Took a few swings…pulled a knife, but Shane and I got him subdued pretty quickly. After a few seconds he saw reason."

"He pulled a knife on you?" she couldn't believe it.

"You have no idea how different Daryl was when Merle was around," Rick answered. "That's the reason so many people had such a bad opinion of him until you came along. And, we were telling him that we'd left his brother for dead on a rooftop. I don't think anyone would take that calmly, least of all someone with a temper as quick as Daryl's. Anyway, Daryl, Glenn and I went back for Merle but he was gone. Then he stole our van and we had to run back to camp. We got attacked by Walkers and had to leave. We couldn't run around Atlanta looking for Merle Dixon."

"I understand," she said. "He should have come back to camp for his brother at least."

"Daryl thought he would," Rick said. "That's why we went straight back."

"Thanks for telling me how it really happened," Songbird said. "Needless to say Merle told it differently."

Daryl rolled over and reached out, but all he encountered was the empty case of beer and a few cans that hadn't made it out the window. It also made his day instantly suck. There was no warm body to pull against his, his stomach turned over, and he realized that he had a splitting headache. He rolled onto his back again, more slowly this time, and covered his eyes with his hand.

"Too fuckin' much light," he mumbled.

He was thirsty too and he didn't want water. He wanted Gatorade. Fruit punch Gatorade. He wondered what the odds were of finding some. Slim to none, but man must have hope to go on, so Daryl sat up, grimacing as his sore stomach muscles engaged. There wasn't any Gatorade in his truck. Songbird had put water and juice in it. He knew that they had looted Gatorade when they'd gone to that Exxon though. That was the only thing that could have motivated him to get out of the truck at that point. He unlatched the tailgate and slid out, grimacing again when he unthinkingly slammed the tailgate shut. He stayed where he was, leaning against the truck until he could see where he was going. It took a while.

Rick looked over and saw Daryl leaning against his truck with his hand over his eyes, next to the pile of crumpled red and white cans. He was glad Daryl couldn't see the smile that crossed his face. He sympathized, he really did, but it was kind of funny. Especially since it was now lunchtime and Andrea had just put a big slab of the deer Shane had bagged that morning on the fire to cook.

Daryl started walking; trying to remember who the hell had gotten the Gatorade. He walked right into the smell of roasting meat.

"Shit," he muttered, trying not to gag.

He was hardly ever hung over, but he guessed that it had something to do with 17 beers on an empty stomach. Of course he thought he'd lost all that last night.

"Afternoon, Daryl," Rick said.

"Do you have the Gatorade?" Daryl asked.

"What?"

"Gatorade. I know we had some, but I don't have it," he said impatiently.

"Oh. No, I don't have it either," Rick said. "The Songbird divvied up the supplies, maybe you could ask her."

Daryl couldn't think of anything he'd rather do less. If he had his way, he'd never face her again; not after failing miserably in that whole protection thing. So, of course, when he turned around she was right there.

"Hey Daryl," she said, unsure how to act toward him. "Are you feeling okay? Do you need…"

"Gatorade," he said. "I need Gatorade."

"Um, okay?" she said. "I…"

"When we went to the Exxon in Georgia you looted some," he said. "But I can't find it."

"Oh! It's in the R.V. They had the most room. I'll go get it!"

He started to tell her that he'd get it himself, but she was already on her way. This day wasn't going the way he wanted it to at all. Just like the rest of his entire fuckin' life.

Songbird looked through the R.V. cabinets until she found the Gatorade. Maybe after this he would talk to her again. She carried it over to where he sat with his back against the van's grill and his face in his hands.

"Are you okay?" she asked uncertainly.

"Fuckin' peachy," he said sarcastically, without moving his hands. "Gatorade?"

She held it out, tapping his arm with the bottle so he'd know it was there. He took it with one hand, still using the other to cover his eyes, and opened it, dropping the cap into the grass before taking a cautious swig. If he was gonna hurl again he sure as hell didn't want to do it in front of her. After he realized that the Gatorade seemed to be staying where he'd put it, he took another sip and uncovered his eyes.

"Better?" she asked hopefully.

Oh God he wanted to tell her he was sorry. But if he did that, then she'd just go back to following him around. He should have stuck with his instincts when he met her and kept his distance. Then he wouldn't have to miss her or worry about her. He wouldn't have to feel like shit for failing to protect her either.

"Yeah," he said. "I think I'm gonna go get a few more."

"I can get them," she said eagerly. "I'll bring them when I come back…"

"Come back?" he asked.

"To the truck," she said. "I um can come back to the truck right?"

He forced himself to look at her steadily as he said, "I'd rather you didn't."

"Oh," Songbird wished that she was more experienced with relationships…if that was what she and Daryl had. Or used to have. Apparently whatever they'd had was over.

When her eyes filled with tears Daryl felt sick again. It had always bugged him with women cried. He thought it was manipulative and bitchy. And with the kinda women he'd dated in the past, it usually was. She seemed genuinely hurt though. He took another drink to keep from telling her he was sorry. It was better to just cut ties now while it was fresh in her mind how he'd screwed up saving her.

"Okay, Daryl," she said. "If that's how you want it."

"Hey," he said, slipping into the drawl he used when he wanted to offend people. "It was fun while it lasted, darlin'."

"Yeah," she said, "I guess it was."

She walked away slowly. He stayed where he was, watching her leave, trying to convince himself that it was right.

Songbird walked into the R.V. happy that it was empty. She buried her face in her hands and cried. She was crying so hard that she didn't hear Carol and Andrea walk in.

"Songbird?" Carol asked.

She just cried harder, so Carol sat down beside her and rubbed her back. When her tears ran out she wiped her face on her tee shirt and said, "He doesn't want me to sleep in the truck anymore. He said that it was fun while it lasted."

"I want to tell you that he's a jerk," Andrea said. "But…I'm not convinced he is anymore. His brother just died, Songbird. And he thought he'd lost you."

"Apparently he doesn't give a damn whether he loses me or not!" Songbird exclaimed.

"You didn't see his face when he realized you were gone," Andrea said. "I've only seen him look like that one other time and that was when the group came back without Merle. Daryl said that you were worth his life, Songbird. But you have to understand that he felt that way about his brother too."

"I do understand that!" she said. "That's why I want to be there for him! Tell him that I'm sorry…make things better!"

"Some men just need to time to think things over alone," Andrea explained, realizing again exactly how young and, apparently, inexperienced the Songbird was. "He feels something for you whether he will admit it right now or not. He's probably pushing you away so it doesn't hurt as much if something happens to you. Or so that you won't hurt the way he does if something happens to him. Being a man," Andrea finished with a small smile, "He won't put it that way."

"You think that's really it?" Songbird asked. "Or are you just trying to make me feel better?"

"I agree with Andrea," Dale said from behind them.

Andrea turned and gave him a smile. Songbird blushed and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"That man would lay down his life for you," Dale said. "He was terrified when he thought you were gone. Just give him some time and if you want my honest opinion, being everywhere he happens to be and being your usual cheerful self will probably wear him down pretty quick."

Songbird gave a shaky laugh and Andrea kissed Dale's cheek as she said, "I couldn't have put it better myself!"

Daryl couldn't handle the smell of deer meat any longer so he went back to his truck. His truck didn't smell all that great either, but it was a little bit darker, especially when he lay on his stomach and put his pillow over his head. He was laying like that when he heard a knock on the window.

He sat up and opened the tailgate. Songbird stood outside.

"I…" he began, but she just gave him a smile.

"Brought you something," she said, holding up a bag with several Gatorades in it. "Hope you feel better soon!"

She walked away before he could say anything. He sat on the tailgate and took a sip of Gatorade, wondering why the hell she was being so nice. If she kept it up, this was going to be really hard to do. He knew for a fact that he couldn't be any meaner to her…she hadn't even fuckin' cried and she'd made him feel like shit! On the plus side; his head stopped hurting when he finished the drink. He thought he'd go see about gettin' some of that deer.


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning when they headed out, Songbird didn't mention riding with Daryl. It hurt her feelings that he didn't ask, but she tried not to let it show. She spent the morning playing Uno with Sophia and Carl, who was riding in the R.V today so Sophia would have some company. Oh and checking to make sure that Daryl was still in front of them. He was in the lead today.

Daryl told himself to stop watching the rearview and concentrate on the road. He missed having someone to talk with. Songbird kept him awake and entertained, made him concentrate less on the dead bodies and abandoned cars they passed. He'd never told anyone, but he'd always wanted to see the United States. All of it, not just the places closest to his hometown. He'd been working on the Mustang so he could when he got too old to work construction. He couldn't have gone before because then there wouldn't be anybody to take care of the construction business. Merle hadn't had any kids, not that Daryl knew of any way, and he personally didn't see himself as the dad type, so he'd never had any either. He was glad now that he didn't. Worrying about Songbird, who was basically the right age to be his daughter, was bad enough. He couldn't imagine what Rick and Carol went through day to day.

His reverie was interrupted when he saw a billboard by the roadside. Andy's Gun and Ammo 2.5 miles on the right. Daryl put on his brakes. Everyone got out and gathered, looking up at the sign.

"You think it's been looted?" Songbird asked.

"Only one way to find out," Dale said.

"Then let's go," Daryl said, walking back to his truck.

Everybody followed suit and they went the 2.5 miles to Andy's Gun and Ammo. Daryl's heart sank when he saw the doors gaping open and the windows shattered. Songbird felt just as crappy about it. She stepped down out of the R.V. slowly, meeting up with Rick and T-dog.

"Is it even worth checking?" Carol asked.

"I think so," Glenn said. "I mean, who knows when we'll find another one right off a main road?"

"Yeah, but this one could be chock full of Walkers," T-dog said.

"Well, then somebody needs to go in and check," Songbird said. "I could do it…"

"Like hell!"

She glanced at Daryl and he frowned at her as he said, "I mean I'll go."

"Why don't you both go?" Andrea asked. "It'd be crazy to go alone."

Daryl was on the verge of telling her what she could do with her helpful suggestions when Songbird nodded and began walking toward the store.

"Fuck," he muttered, grabbing his crossbow and catching up with her. "What the hell did you do that for?" he asked.

"Do what?" she asked.

"Offer to come in here when you know I want you to…" he broke off and said, "Never mind. You gonna get your knives out or what?"

"Well gee," Songbird said, imitating his Southern drawl. "Arm myself to take on Walkers? What a cotton pickin' fine idea!"

"Sarcasm don't suit you," Daryl said, even though he had to turn away from her to hide his grin over hearing her say "cotton pickin'."

She pulled several knives and they walked in. The interior of the shop was dark and Daryl's boots crunched over the broken glass from the plate windows. He glanced at Songbird, wondering about her well her worn sneakers would handle this. She was walking carefully, picking her way through the shards on tiptoe. He admired the way she moved for just a second, his eyes moving down her long legs appreciatively. She turned to face him when she realized that he'd stopped moving.

"Did you see something?" she asked.

He shook his head and glanced around, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness in the shop. She walked to the counter of the shop and gasped when she rounded it. Daryl followed her, walking backward to keep an eye on the windows.

"What…" he began but he saw as soon as he went behind the counter.

The body of a man, most of his face blown off, and most of his body chewed off. Every once in a while his jaws opened and closed in that absent chewing motion.

"I guess he tried to kill himself," Daryl said. "That happens when you point the gun wrong. Bullet never reached his brain."

Songbird gagged, pressing her hand to her mouth.

"I guess he decided to kill himself when he realized he'd turn into one of them," Daryl said. For the first time ever, he was feeling bad for a Walker. "They probably ate him while he was unconscious. I heard Rick say that there's a fever…"

"Oh God, Daryl," Songbird said. "Please just end it! I don't want to hear this!" She turned away with her hands over her face. To die like that…being eaten while you lay unconscious from trying to take your own life…she gagged again as she heard Daryl shift his crossbow to aim.

Daryl braced the crossbow and shot a bolt through the man's eye. The reflexive opening and closing of its jaw stopped.

"It's over darlin'," he said, wondering why he felt so sick. He guessed it was because the poor guy had done everything he could to opt out and it didn't help. He wondered if fate existed. If so, fate was a cold hearted bitch.

She forced herself to stop shaking and said, "I'll take the right side of the store, you take the left?"

He nodded and walked over. There were signs of Walkers everywhere, a dead smell, blood smeared around, the insects that were drawn to carnage like this, but he didn't hear any footsteps or moans. Most of the guns were gone as was most ammo. He came across some that would work in the Remington's he and T-dog had gotten from Rick's gun bag in Atlanta and put it in his pocket. He also found a display of hunting knives, most of which had been taken but he found a big knife that would make it a hell of a lot easier to gut game and a wide selection of throwing knives.

"Songbird," he called. "Come get some knives you'll actually throw."

"Okay," she said. "There's crossbows over here."

"Why is everyone so down on Mary Jane?" Daryl asked. "You got a problem with my bow?"

"No," Songbird said. "Mary Jane and I are like this!" She crossed her middle finger over her pointer and held them up.

He laughed, but he didn't let her see it as he walked across the shop. There were a whole bunch of crossbows on the wall. Really nice ones too. Like the Barnett 78022 Ghost 400 CRT. He pulled it down and held it reverently. He'd never in all his life expected to even touch one! He checked the price tag, $1000.00.

He let his breath out and said, "Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the mule! You wanna come back to the truck with me?"

Songbird turned and saw him running his hands over the curves of a black crossbow.

"I'm telling Mary Jane," she said.

He raised his eyebrows, as he replied, "Mary Jane loves me and wants me to be happy."

She shook her head, pleased that he'd smiled at her. Maybe she'd get back in the truck yet! He continued along the wall gathering bolts, strings, and cables. He grabbed the backpack Songbird had carried in and began stuffing it full of supplies; everything he needed for the crossbows, the ammo he'd put into his already full pockets earlier, and the big knife he'd picked up. He put the backpack on his back and then picked up the crossbows. He could feel a definite weight difference in Mary Jane and the Ghost. He'd have to practice a lot with the new bow and honestly, he didn't plan on replacing Mary Jane with it. The weight difference worked out well and with Mary Jane's lighter draw, he didn't need a pulley to cock the bow, making things that much easier when the Walkers were around.

Glenn stuck his head in and said, "How's it going?"

"It's a bust mostly," Daryl said. "For ammo and guns that is. I got some rifle ammo, but that's all that will work in the guns we have. Here," he continued, shrugging the backpack off again and handing it, and the Ghost crossbow, to Glenn. "Take this to my truck. Carefully. Take this to my truck carefully."

Glenn looked at the bow and said, "I thought you said there wasn't anything wrong with yours?"

"There ain't," Daryl said. "Now she has a friend."

Glenn smiled and headed for the truck.

"Anything worth having?" Shane asked.

Glenn shook his head as he said, "Daryl said most of the guns were gone and the ammo. There was only crossbow stuff and knives."

"Well, I'm going to go check," Shane said, walking to the store.

He stepped and glanced around. It really was almost empty except for bows and knives.

"Didn't trust me?" Daryl asked, checking behind the counter again, avoiding looking at the Walkers body.

Shane didn't answer. Suddenly Songbird went still and said, "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Shane asked.

"That," she whispered.

Four Walkers appeared in the back doorway.

"Ah shit," Daryl said, firing a bolt between the closest one's eyes and then reloading, watching as Songbird dropped two. He fired again before the last one got any closer.

He walked into the hall to get his bolts back and instantly encountered another five Walkers. He shot one and then backtracked. The quarters were too close to reload.

"Four more," he said, stepping on the stirrup and yanking back to cock the bow.

Songbird threw quickly, sinking each knife deep into Walker skull, wiping them out as she walked backwards, toward the exit. Shane felt useless; they didn't fire their guns until things were desperate after all.

A gun went off behind Daryl and he spun around, ready to cuss Shane the fuck out. But Shane and Songbird had turned as well and were staring as more Walkers pushed in through the windows.

Songbird didn't know where to go. The guns out front were drawing more Walkers and she felt frozen with fear. This was the first time she'd ever been surrounded by them inside a building like this.

Shane raised his shotgun and said, "All right, we're gonna move for the door. Stay in a line if you can, Songbird take the right, Daryl take the left and I'll clear the way in front. Ready?"

"Yeah," Songbird squeaked.

"Let's fuckin' move," Daryl said.

Shane blasted the Walker standing in the doorway sending blood spraying into the air as the Walker collapsed. Songbird's mouth dropped open as she saw that the only part of its face that remained was the lower jaw. That was an awesome gun! She followed him quickly when Daryl pushed her in the shoulder.

"Come on!" Rick yelled, taking cover behind the door of the van and directing T-dog who was near the Jeep to fire left and Dale, who was shooting from the R.V, to fire right. He could see what Shane had in mind and he hoped to widen the area of coverage for them.

"Why isn't Daryl shooting?" Lori asked in frustration and panic as she watched.

"He can't run and reload at the same time," Rick answered. "He's basically only got one shot!"

Songbird bit back a squeal when Dale shot a Walker mere feet from her. Shane used the only other shot in the gun to blow a second Walkers head off and then used the gun as a club to shatter a few more of the Walkers skulls. They split up then, Shane heading for his Jeep and Songbird running for the R.V. She tripped a few seconds before her fingers hit the latch. Songbird closed her eyes, thinking that she was a goner for sure this time. She felt a Walkers hand grip her ankle, the nails biting into the denim, pressing her skin…

She heard the 'thwack' and 'whoosh' of Daryl's crossbow and his bellow of, "Open the fuckin' door!"

She glanced toward him as the dead Walker's grip relaxed and the R.V. door opened. He was making no move to go to his truck and his yell had attracted the Walkers attention. He put his foot on the stirrup of the crossbow and yanked back, still looking at her.

"Run!" she screamed, scrambling to her feet.

"Get in the goddamn car!" he yelled back.

A Walker shuffled up behind him.

"Behind you!" Dale shouted as he forcibly yanked Songbird into the R.V. and slammed the door.

Songbird ran to look out the window.

Daryl turned, drew his knife and drove it into the Walker's skull, feeling it crush through the bone and bury in the soft, spongy tissue of what was left of the Walkers brain. Then he kicked it backward to free the knife and ran like hell.

Songbird gasped with relief when he came into her field of vision, running like crazy toward his truck. He shot the Walker blocking the door and skidded to a stop, yanking the door open and diving in. He slammed the door and turned the key, shoving the truck in gear and flooring it as soon as the engine caught. Everybody else in the caravan peeled out after him.

Songbird sat in the R.V. floor trying to control her shaking. She yanked her pants leg up, relieved to see that, while she had nails marks from that Walkers hand, she didn't have broken skin. What the hell had he been thinking just standing there like that? She remembered Dale telling her that Daryl would lay down his life for her. Apparently he'd meant that literally. Crazy redneck! As if she wanted to watch him get eaten just so he could make sure she got into the R.V.! A few hours after her shaking stopped, Songbird saw the silver lining. Obviously he cared! Which was good, because she desperately wanted back in the truck. Her nightmares were back now that she didn't sleep against him.

When they parked for the night, Daryl backed his truck up to the fire and then took a seat on the ground.

Songbird started over to him, but Andrea caught her arm and said, "Nope. It's time to let him come to you."

"But Dale said…" Songbird began.

"Oh that was just to get his attention and make sure of how he felt," Andrea said. "Now you keep away from him. " When Songbird looked like she was going to protest, Andrea said, "It's time you learned some mystique, young lady."

So Songbird sat between Andrea and Carol for supper that night, and then they all lingered, reminded again of how fragile life was and how much they needed one another.

After supper, Daryl sat on the tailgate with the bag he'd taken from Andy's Gun and Ammo, propping both Mary Jane and the new crossbow up as he prepared to restring one and string the other for the first time. He almost grinned with excitement, but he managed to stop himself.

"That weapon isn't really suited to this kind of thing is it Daryl?" Lori asked suddenly, breaking into the contented silence.

"What?" he asked, glancing up from the cables he was opening, looking genuinely surprised. "It's perfect! It's quiet, accurate…"

"And slow," Lori said. "You only managed to fire two shots once you were out of the store and the last one almost got you killed. Guns are better."

"Guns draw the Walkers!" he answered. "And as slow as they are reloading usually isn't an issue…"

"Would you mind if I had a look at what you're doing?" Rick interrupted before the situation could dissolve into an argument.

"What for?" Daryl asked suspiciously. If Rick so much as laid a finger on the Ghost…

"Just interested," Rick said. "I've never seen one up close. I'd like to learn about it."

"Oh," Daryl said, surprised again. "Sure, I guess."

Once he had everything arranged to his satisfaction, he sat down next to the fire again and handed Rick a flashlight so that he could see what he was doing.

"This," he said. "Is a Horton Scout HD 125. Also known as Mary Jane," he admitted, getting a grin from Rick. "She's lighter than most crossbows and she's got a lighter draw weight. Which makes reloading easier," he shot a look at Lori and then said, "'Cause she's easier to cock. She also shoots 250 fps…"

"FPS?" T-dog asked.

Daryl glanced around. T-dog, Glenn, and Dale were leaning in.

"Uh, yeah," he said. "Feet per second."

It was weird for everyone to be sitting around listening to him, but it was kind of nice too.

"And this," he picked up the Ghost and ran his fingers over the lathe, "Is the Barnett 78022 Ghost 400 CRT."

"It doesn't have a name?" Rick asked.

Daryl shook his head and said, "I'm almost afraid she'd too good for me." He didn't mean too, but he looked across the fire at Songbird after he said it. She tilted her head to the side and he forced his eyes back onto the bow. "This shoots at 400 fps, almost twice what Mary Jane can do. But it's heavier, and the draw is heavier too so I wouldn't be able to cock it as fast." He sighed as he put it back down. "But I had to have it. I've wanted one ever since I heard about 'em."

"So, what's with all this?" Glenn asked, pointing to the cables.

"I gotta re-string Mary Jane," Daryl said. "You're supposed to do it after every three years or so and I was pushin' it before all this shit started."

"Why do you have to do that?" T-dog asked.

"They get loose," Daryl answered. "It affects the draw weight. And that's the difference between a kill and an injury." He began unstringing the bow and said, "If you see any Walkers let me know so I can run."

Everyone was silent for a moment and then Rick caught sight of a slight smile on Daryl's face. Rick laughed and soon the others joined him. Daryl went on with what he was doing, restringing the bow painstakingly. The men and Songbird watched in fascination, the men because they were men and Songbird because she liked a man that was good with his hands. She'd never really noticed what great hands he had, they were callused and rough, but he had quick, capable, almost artistic fingers. She thought back to how easily he'd made her cum with them and felt heat flood through her body.

Daryl finished restringing and looked around, then patted his pockets and swore.

"What are you looking for?" Dale asked.

Daryl stood up, checking his hip pocket and then turning to the truck and rummaging through the bag.

"Can't find the fuckin' lube," he said.

For some reason everybody glanced at Songbird. She blushed beet red and looked down. She had no idea what Daryl was talking about, but it was humiliating to have everyone think that she did!

"Did you just say…" Glenn began.

But Daryl had already hopped down with a bottle in his hand.

"Found it!" he said triumphantly. "It was under the bullets."

"Yeah, but did you say lube?" Andrea asked, hiding a grin.

"Yeah," Daryl said. "For Mary Jane."

"Exactly how close are the two of you?" Rick asked, arching his eyebrow.

Daryl laughed. He couldn't help it. The look on their faces was priceless! He decided to play it for all it was worth.

"Well, you gotta have lube," he said with a shrug. "Helps it shoot faster."

Glenn snorted.

"No friction, better distance," he continued, rubbing the bow down quickly. "If you don't have it, it can dry out and damage your cock."

Andrea and Carol buried their faces in their hands, their shoulders shaking with laughter.

"And God knows," Daryl finished, "Your cock is the most important thing you have. Without it you're not going to be able to," he cocked the bow smoothly, drawing the cables tight, "get it up."

The fact that he'd said it all with a straight face was the rest of the group's undoing. Everybody dissolved into laughter.

"Why do you have to talk like that in front of Carl?" Lori asked when everyone else's laughter died down. "You might have been raised that way, but my son…"

"It is what it is," Daryl protested. "Everything I said was true. Shootin' without lube affects your cock."

Lori got up and walked Carl to the R.V. where Sophia was already sleeping.

"Thank God I didn't say nothin' about the cockin' ring," Daryl muttered.

Glenn snorted again and Daryl continued, "There's also a power stroke, a riser, nuts, and a bastard string. Bein' a bowman is dirty work."

He glanced at Rick and saw that he was staring off toward the R.V, looking kinda pissed.

"Would you mind giving me and Carl a few lessons?" Rick asked.

"Lessons?" Daryl repeated.

"Yeah, you're the best shot I've seen, even before all this happened," Rick said. "And it seems like silent weapons will be the wave of the future."

"Okay," Daryl said. "I guess I could do that when we find a safe place to stay. I could set up some targets or somethin'."

"Thanks," Rick said, thumping him on the back as he stood up to go talk to Lori.

Eventually, the rest of the group left too and Daryl hoisted himself onto the tailgate, propping his flashlight so that he could see to start stringing the Ghost. The draw was a lot tighter, he actually had to use the cord and pulley he'd picked up. He wished it wasn't so damn dark! He was dying to shoot the new bow; he wanted to know what 400 fps looked like. He sighed, and put the Ghost on the front seat of the truck, keeping Mary Jane where he could reach her, and locked the truck up, laying down.

For some reason lying down always made him miss Songbird that much more. Maybe it was because the nights were gettin' kinda chilly. He thought back to her tripping today. Today at least, he'd protected her as he should have.

Songbird woke up gasping. The nightmare again, the little Walker kids coming toward her, cornering her, their small jaws working as they'd tried to eat her alive. The wind blew and the camper creaked. She barely bit back a scream. She didn't sleep the rest of the night.

When morning came she was exhausted, so exhausted that she wasn't thinking straight at all.

"That's it," she said to Andrea, grabbing her laptop bag when she saw Daryl headed into the woods. "I'm sick of this!"

She went to the truck, climbed in the bed of it, wrapped up in Daryl's blanket and buried her face in his pillow. If she couldn't have the man himself she'd settle for being surrounded by his stuff and his scent. She fell asleep almost immediately.

The group got ready to move out and Daryl walked back to his truck. The van pulled out first, then Shane's Jeep, then the R.V. he pulled out behind them, taking the last swig of his water bottle and tossing it into the truck bed.

"Ow!" a sleepy mumble from the back nearly made his heart jump from his chest.

"What the fuck?" he yelled.

"I can't sleep in the R.V.," Songbird muttered, sitting up and leaning through the split glass. "And I can't drive. So I'm sleeping here."

"Do you realize that if I'd had a bow I'd have shot you?" Daryl asked.

"But you didn't," she said. "And I figured Andrea would tell you I was here."

He had no choice but to keep driving, but the set of his jaw told her that he was a bit peeved.

"I'm sorry, Daryl," she said. "I would have asked, but you just would have told me no!"

He had no defense against that open personality of hers.

"Well," he said, speaking brusquely. "If you're here to sleep then fuckin' sleep."

"I will," she said, lying down and covering her face with the pillow that had been hers when she was sleeping with him.

It was distracting to have her there! He kept thinking about her, especially about her in the last few days of their…whatever it was. That skinny body of hers was just so damn flexible and the way she blushed when she talked about sex, or listened to him talk about it, was so fuckin' cute that it just about killed him! They drove till they hit the Mississippi state line. Daryl reached through the split glass shook Songbird awake and she crawled through to sit in the front with him.

"So this is Mississippi?" she asked, glancing around.

"I reckon," Daryl said. "Just thought you might want to see it."

"Doesn't seem to be much to see," she said.

He agreed with her for a while. Then they crested a hill and saw a Laundromat, a Laundromat surrounded by Walkers.

"Oh no," Songbird said. "What do we do?"

"Fuckin' drive right through 'em," Daryl answered.

"Wait!" she exclaimed, leaning forward. "There are people! I mean living people!"

Daryl hit the brakes, as did the others in their group when they saw a man and a woman fighting the Walkers. Songbird watched the woman flick her chain whip and drag Walkers in to have their heads smashed with a club, one by one. The guy was shooting a bow, not a crossbow like Daryl's but she still liked it.

"What should we do?" she asked.

"I'm still leanin' toward drive right through 'em," Daryl said.

"We can't do that!" she said.

"I think they're handling themselves fine," he protested.

Just as he spoke the whip was yanked from the woman's hand. She threw her club.

"We have to help!" Songbird said.

Before Daryl could speak, she rolled down her window and slide out, up onto the roof of his truck.

"Fuck!" he rolled the window back up, put the truck in park and grabbed Mary Jane from the truck bed to keep Songbird safe.

Songbird saw a Walker approaching the woman and threw a knife, plugging it in the skull. She drew again as the woman turned and looked at her. She let the second knife go as she heard a shot and rolled her eyes. T-dog was bit too trigger happy.

The woman apparently felt the same way; Songbird heard her speaking to him and then she heard her yell, "Get inside!"

Daryl got out, caught Songbird as she jumped lightly to the ground and kept her covered while they ran into the Laundromat. He eyed the people, they were fairly young, more so than he'd thought when first saw them. He glanced around. Call him paranoid, but ever since he'd met Dr. Jenner he was extremely wary of being on someone else's turf. He hoped that the group would be more careful this time.

"Yeah. Sorry we didn't join you sooner, I was just kind of sitting slack jawed watching you, it was amazing how you move!" Songbird said. She liked the precision in the woman's movements, she had the accuracy of an acrobat but the meticulousness of a tightrope walker.

He exhaled impatiently when they all stepped up, introducing themselves and taking food from the blue haired girl. Damn it, they'd have to pay that back and since he was the one who'd risked his life looting the most recent food, that pissed him off.

Songbird was thoroughly, seriously, impressed with Lucky and her brother Freddy. They were obviously good people, giving up all that food and stuff! And she liked the huge knife Lucky was carrying. She stepped up to introduce herself and then got distracted.

"I like that knife," she said. "How about teaching me to use it? And oh, by the way, this is Daryl," she continued, since he didn't seem to be ready to volunteer his own name.

"It's a kilij," the woman said. "Vlad the Impaler used it to conquer the Ottoman Empire."

Songbird took the knife and swished it around. Daryl sucked his stomach in and said, "Damn it, Songbird! Be careful!"

"Sorry," she muttered, giving the knife back.

Conversation swirled around them, the group talking about where they were going and why Freddy and Lucky were in Mississippi when they were trying to get to Kansas. Songbird felt bad when she found out that Lucky had come to save her mom and been too late.

Daryl cleared his throat when Lucky and her brother got into one of those uncomfortable family moments regarding the death of their mom.

"What's so special about this place in Kansas?" he asked.

"Well, my dad happens to be a veritable genius! He built this fortress years ago, absolutely sure that some disaster was bound to happen. I can guarantee no walkers will get inside it." Lucky said.

"Those are big promises coming from a kid with blue hair." Daryl was unconvinced. "What makes you so sure?"

"Have you ever seen a walker dig?" she asked.

Songbird jumped up in validation.

"It's underground!" she exclaimed.

Daryl couldn't believe it, but he stayed silent while everyone began talking about going with the strangers to their compound. That sounded real fuckin' smart.

"You could show everyone how to kick Walker ass," Songbird said. "Quietly, you know, without bringing more…"

Daryl rolled his eyes at her mention of 'everyone'. Fuck that! He knew what he was doing!

"Your dad doesn't really seem to like that idea," Freddy said.

Who the fuck was he talkin' about? And why was he looking at Songbird as he said it?

"My what?" Songbird asked, wondering why he was looking at her.

"Umm isn't he your father?" Freddy asked, with a nod at Daryl.

Daryl's mouth dropped open, but he couldn't get any words together.

"What?" Songbird asked, blushing beet red. "No! He's not my dad! He's my…he's my…" she glanced around, hoping to find an answer written on the Laundromat walls and finished lamely, "He's my Daryl."

Daryl didn't really hear much more of the conversation, but eventually the group decided to go with the new people. The girl said that they had a place that they had set up in one of the houses in town. Just what Daryl wanted. More hanging out with Freddy.


	11. Authors Note about Comments and Such

Authors Note: I hate how slow I am at learning Web sites. Ummm I wanted to respond to some of the comments from people and this is the only way I could figure out to do it! First off…I LOVE COMMENTS they make me smile! I also don't mind critiques so feel free with those too! Also, starting with Chapter 10, I am using a few OC's that I did not create…Lucky, Freddy, Rooster, and James belong to my best buddy. Her fanfic is on the site as well, it's called One Last Dream and it's very much worth reading and if you read it, comment and tell her I sent you! ;)

Gurl3677: Thanks for the compliment on the truck scene in Chapter Three and yes, I love Norman Reedus too! What's not to love right? He's only perfection! ;)

K: Yeah, Songbird has lots of great ideas about moral and hygiene even in an apocalypse!

Belladonna925: Yes, eventually Songbird's real name will (most likely) be known. I say most likely because I'm still not sure how this story is going to end, but I do plan to have a big reveal for that. And yeah, poor Daryl in chapter 8 and poor Songbird in chapter 9…and poor Daryl in chapter 9 as well. I am updating as fast as possible to get my favorite thrower of squirrels back in your good graces.

Lucy Freebird: Addictions are usually bad, but I'm so happy that my story is one of yours! And thanks for the compliment on chapter 9, even though it was so hurtful for my OC and Daryl, it turned out to be one of my favorite chapters. I really hope I did justice to Daryl's complex emotions regarding his brother, and his reaction to failing (in his opinion) to keep Songbird safe. One of my favorite things about Daryl in the show that he is so rough, but the potential for that sweetness is there. He's so emotional as a character and I think that it is just the situation that makes him appear to be a jerk sometimes…Daryl doesn't hide what he's feeling, good or bad. (Fangirl squee)

Azalia Fox Knightling: I try to update every few days…I am polishing a few chapters right now that I hope to get on here by the end of next week. Thanks for reading and following my story! I'm glad you like it!


	12. Chapter 11

Daryl went to his truck when the Walker hoard wandered in another direction. Songbird followed him but only unlocked the driver's side door and got in without looking at her. She wondered if he was mad that Freddy had mistaken him for her dad. He probably was. It was hardly her fault that Freddy was an idiot though.

Really. Her dad? Because she and Daryl looked so much alike and everything. She was strawberry blonde, he was dirty blonde, she had dark blue eyes, he… had blue eyes too. Damn it! Maybe they did seem a bit similar. But why couldn't Freddy at least have said brother? She climbed into the R.V., still brooding over the indignity. If she was upset over it then she knew that Daryl would be mad as hell for sure.

They followed Lucky and Freddy to a house in a subdivision and climbed in through a second story window. Daryl noticed when they got inside that the stairs to the lower level had been demolished. Those two might have more sense than he'd given them credit for. If they were the ones that had done it that is. Clever didn't always keep you alive, sometimes nothing more than dumb luck prevailed.

When Lori saw the stairs she freaked out. The minute Lucky came through the window she walked over to her and said, "The stairs are gone!"

"Yeah, we hacked them out," Lucky said.

"Why? How are we going to get out if we're attacked?" Lori demanded

"That was the point, we took out the easiest access point; the chance of getting attacked now is pretty low." Lucky explained. "I haven't seen too many walkers climbing through second story windows. We thoroughly checked this place before getting it ready, we should be safe here."

"Jeez, you thought of everything!" Songbird said, thinking that at least the woman was intelligent. "I mean, that's just smart!"

"Like the Rooster always says 'your brain should be your first line of defense.'" Lucky said with a smile.

"Actually it usually comes out as 'Don't be an idiot. Idiocy kills.'" Freddy laughed. "Which is why I am so surprised this one is still alive." He pulled his sister into a headlock and noogied her. She punched at his kidney.

"The Rooster?" Songbird asked, ignoring the brother sister interaction. It reminded her of what she'd lost.

They explained that he was a Vietnam vet who'd manned a gun called a rooster and the nickname had stuck. Songbird's lips quirked up at the idea of the introductions. "Rooster meet Songbird." That would be fun.

"We're trapped." Lori said, not really giving a damn about this kid's dad's name.

"No, you're protected. If you don't want to stay, the exit is right there." Lucky pointed at the window, which now had the ladder set on its side beneath it.

Daryl raised his eyebrows.

"Lori, we're safer here than in the Winnebago." Rick said.

Lori looked unconvinced until Shane said, "He's right. I don't see any way the Walkers can get us in here."

"Fine," Lori said.

"We're all just a bit tired." Rick explained apologetically.

Songbird wished that he hadn't done that. Lori should have apologized for herself.

Lucky waved his apology away, saying that she understood before heading to her pallet in the corner. Songbird glanced at Daryl. He looked away, going to the window and glancing down, considering spending the night in his truck. He'd kinda gotten used to it.

He was on the verge of saying that's what he was going to do when T-dog fixed the air conditioner. Daryl decided to stay. It was hotter in Mississippi than it had been in Georgia. He could feel Songbird looking at him, but he didn't turn to acknowledge her. He lay down facing the wall and put his arm over his eyes.

Songbird drew her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them sadly.

"Hey Birdgirl," Freddy said.

"What?" she asked. "Me?"

"Yeah," he said, "That's what they call you right?"

"Songbird," she corrected with a slight grin. "They call me Songbird."

"So, I saw you with those knives earlier. You looked pretty good with them; where'd you learn to do that?"

"Can't everyone throw a knife?" she asked.

"Sure, I mean Lucy can…"

"Who's Lucy?" Songbird asked, looking around.

"My sister," he said.

"Oh, Lucky?" she asked. "I didn't know that was her name."

"Yeah," he said, getting back on the subject of the knives, wanting to establish common ground. "I hear it's like chopping wood over a fence."

"It's like what?" Songbird looked at him in confusion. "Chopping wood over a fence? Why would you chop wood over a fence? Unless you were stealing it or something…which begs the question, who would steal wood?"

"No! It's just something that I've heard…I leave other peoples wood alone!" Freddy protested, and then slapped his hand against his face.

Songbird smiled, she still thought he was an idiot, but he was the funny kind of idiot at least. She shook her head, "What's with you and the facepalming?"

"It's just been a long time since I've talked to a girl that's not my sister," Freddy said in exasperation.

"I understand," she said. "I was on the road for three weeks by myself before I met up with them." She gestured at the group at large.

"I'm kind of surprised that any of them are still alive, to be completely honest," Freddy admitted.

"Why?" she asked, a bit insulted.

She wasn't the only one; Daryl was still awake and now he wanted to hurt that little punk even more. For one thing it was killing him that Songbird was chatting with the guy and for another that was a shitty thing to say! Just who the fuck did the guy think he was? Yeah, he might have more weaponry but Daryl knew damn good and well that Freddy wasn't any better with his hand bow than he was with Mary Jane!

"Because you guys trusted us right off the bat! For all you knew, we could have been bad people."

"Yeah, but you're not," she said. "That's why we stopped to help you."

"We came out to help you!" Freddy said incredulously.

"Then why are you bugging me about being overly trusting?" she asked. "We outnumber you by a lot…you didn't know what kind of people we were either. We could have been looters for all you knew."

"Anyway," Freddy said after another facepalm. "Where are you from?"

Songbird faked a yawn and said, "Here and there. Wow it's late! Good night Freddy."

Before he could speak again she lay down with her back to him. Freddy sighed and lay down as well. Operation flirt with Songbird seemed to have been a bust.

She lay there thinking about the new people. Lucky seemed cocky to the point of being unrealistic. The kind that would refuse to cut and run when outnumbered and, yeah, she still thought Freddy was a dingbat. But they were nice and they were offering a safe haven. This proved that she and Daryl had been right! She wished he was interested in celebrating the victory with her. This "mystique" thing sucked. It simply wasn't in her personality. She said what she meant and she meant what she said, and she didn't understand why all relationships couldn't be that way!

She slept a bit and woke up bright and early as always. Everyone else was still asleep. She lay there for a while, really bored, and then remembered that Lucky and Freddy had promised a trip to an R.V. place and a few lessons on weaponry.

She eyed Lucky for a moment and then walked over, shook her and said, "Good morning! Time to rise and shine!"

"Oh God," Lucky groaned and rolled over covering her eyes. "You did not just freaking wake me up!"

"Sorry, I just thought you would want to get an early start," Songbird explained, feeling bad. She shouldn't have gotten ahead of herself like that, but she was just happy to finally meet some new people and possibly learn a thing or two.

"Fine, I'm up now. Did you want me for something?" Lucky asked, sitting up.

"The guys wanted you to show them where that parts place was for the camper; but I wouldn't mind you giving me a lesson or two with your sword." Songbird explained, glad that Lucky didn't seem to be furious or anything.

"Lessons first, you guys could use some new moves." she said as she stretched and yawned before moving into a standing position. "So who would like to be a little less dependent on those Walker calling guns of yours?" she called across the room.

She explained that, if they couldn't get their hands on any blades, they should stick to blunt objects that would crush the Walker's skulls. She also explained that ranged weapons took longer to become proficient with, making the self defense tactics she was offering to teach all the more valuable.

Songbird agreed with the logic and so did the rest of the group…mostly. Lori didn't volunteer her opinion, and Daryl stayed where he was, sitting against the wall under the window, wearing what Songbird considered an extremely insolent expression.

Lucky went on to talk about the benefits of wearing layers, gesturing to her own outfit, thick bell-bottom corduroy's, a tee shirt underneath a leather biker jacket, and combat boots. She also explained that anything could be a weapon and that the group should be using all five senses at all times.

Daryl snorted and muttered, "So, in other words, be a hunter. Like me."

Songbird cast him a glance and he shrugged. She stepped up to take the kilij Lucky held out and took a few practice swings. Daryl declined with a shake of his head, staying where he was. 

"The RV place is about a mile out; you should have passed it coming in." Freddy said.

Then he and Lucky got into another brother sister argument about the logistics of the looting trip, ending with Lucky offering to go by herself. Daryl thought the group overreacted to that suggestion; all of them began yelling about how much they "needed" her. Hell, they'd only met her yesterday! Eventually the argument died down, when Freddy vetoed the idea of his sister going alone.

Shane volunteered himself, Rick, and Glenn. Glenn shot Shane a dirty look as he said, "What?"

Lucky pointed out that, since she and Freddy knew where the place was, Shane's plan made no sense. She then said that she and her brother would go and pick up the supplies.

Rick nodded and said, "All right. Dale, make her a list. Daryl and I can go along in case you need some extra hands. The rest of you stay here and keep the others safe." Rick ended the conversation with a clap of his hands.

Daryl looked up at Rick when he walked over and said, "Daryl's gonna do what now?"

"It wouldn't hurt to have you and Mary Jane along," Rick said with a slight smile. "I heard you talking about rebuilding that Mustang, thought you might know a bit about cars in general."

"Not really," Daryl said. "But I reckon I could go."

Songbird walked up to Lucky and said, "I could go, you know I'm good with knives."

"Or, you could stay here; it would be nice to have somebody who doesn't hate me waiting when we get back." Lucky said.

"Fine, I guess." Songbird said, sounding sulky, but kind of happy that Lucky valued her. "Don't let Daryl die. Just do that and I won't hate you." 

"I can't make promises." Lucky said.

Songbird was briefly taken aback but before she could say anything, Lucky continued.

"He seems kind of headstrong; I can't stop him from doing anything he wants to do, but I will keep anyone else from making that decision for him." she clarified.

"Thanks." she answered, realizing that Lucky was right. "That's all I could ask for, I guess."

"Hey! Cheer up; he's made it this far, right?" Lucky punched Songbird's arm lightly.

"Yeah," Songbird said, giving Lucky a half smile as Freddy came over and put his arms over their shoulders.

"Do not fret ladies, I have everything under control!" He grinned at songbird. "I am after all an expert here."

"You're an expert in RV supplies?" Songbird asked. "Dale will love that! Hey Dale, Freddy says he knows all about RVs!"

She saw Freddy facepalm out of the corner of her eye and couldn't figure out what his problem was now. She shrugged it off, not really concerned.

"Yep, you have a way with the women, big brother!" Lucky said with a laugh, she knew how much Freddy wanted to be able impress the Songbird.

"What?" Songbird asked. "Are R.V.'s 'women' when you work on them?" She thought about Mary Jane, and how Daryl referred to his truck as "her" as well. Why did guys do that? She thought that maybe she'd missed something when Lucky gasped with laughter.

When Lucky stopped laughing they headed out and Daryl followed, turning toward his truck.

"Where are you going?" Lucky whispered.

"My truck is this way," he said.

"We aren't taking the truck," Freddy said.

"We ain't walking all that way." Daryl said, aggravated with that little prick.

"Nah… but we can get around quicker on these." Freddy opened the garage door and got onto a Suzuki; it had storage holsters at least. Lucky got onto a smaller bike.

"We modded the mufflers, they should be nice and quiet." Freddy gave Daryl a sideways glance. "Unless you plan on squealing like a girl the whole time."

Daryl didn't know which was worse. Riding the small bike or riding with a guy. He finally sighed and got on behind Lucky. He regretted it soon enough. She drove like a crazy person. He didn't say anything, but his hands tightened involuntarily when she went around curves. He also hated being so open to the Walkers. That was why he loved his truck. He could take refuge in it if he needed to; with the bikes, they were up shit creek if the engines died. His thoughts were interrupted when they arrived at the R.V. place. He jumped off the minute the bike stopped and Lucky laughed at him.

"Aww, was it that bad riding bitch?" she asked.

He gave her the dirtiest look he could muster, frustrated when all she did was laugh again. Maybe he would end up hating her as much as he hated her prick brother.

Rick volunteered Lucky to go in and get the stuff and she agreed, saying she'd take Freddy with her, while Rick and Daryl kept watch. Fine with him. The less time he spent around the siblings, the happier he'd be. He was worried about the Songbird, back at that house without him.

Rick watched Daryl shift his weight and said, "We'll be done soon."

"Fuckin' hope so," he answered. "I hate waitin'. Rick are you sure about these people?"

"Is anyone ever sure about anyone else?" Rick asked.

"Don't give me that shit," Daryl said evenly. "Answer me. Do you trust 'em?"

"They seem very open," Rick said. "I honestly think that if Lucky was planning to kill us, she'd give us a heads up."

Daryl gave a half laugh and nodded. Then he shifted impatiently again.

"Would you quit that?" Rick asked, "We'll be on the move again soon enough."

"I can't help it," he muttered. "It's a habit. Can't stand still. Never could."

"You're a hunter," Rick said. "Don't you have to be?"

"That's different," he said. "This is just…holy shit."

Rick glanced up and saw the Walkers approaching.

"Uh, could y'all hurry it up in there?" Daryl called into the store, wincing when the Walkers picked up their shuffling pace.

There were about twenty of them. Lucky and Freddy came out, Lucky stowing the equipment quickly as she asked whether they were fighting or running.

"I only have my sidearm and rifle," Rick said. "I don't want to attract more Walkers."

Freddy and Lucky counted their arrows and decided that there were enough between them. Daryl aimed his crossbow as well, deciding that they'd have to deal with having a little help from him. It didn't take long to finish the Walkers off and he began collecting his bolts. Shots through the eye, every one of them. He was pretty proud of it, all in all.

Another group of Walkers approached and Daryl was starting to aim the bow when Lucky said, "You guys keep salvaging our ammo, I can handle this."

Then she went off with a fuckin' bowie knife to do so. Daryl couldn't believe it. He didn't blame Freddy one bit for grabbing her by the shoulders when it was done and shaking her as he yelled at her, but he was happy when Rick glanced around and mentioned that they could probably take the conversation somewhere more private. He wasn't going to die over some sibling shit gone wrong. They got back on the bikes and Daryl noticed that Lucky drove with a bit less panache this time around. Maybe Freddy had managed to clue her in to the fact that this was an apocalypse, not a fuckin' game.

Songbird could feel the tension between Lucky and Freddy when they came back, but she certainly didn't expect Lucky to throw herself into Rick's arms and sob her heart out to him when he asked if she was okay. She couldn't quite hear what Lucky was saying, because she said it with her face pressed against Rick's chest. Songbird caught Andrea's eye and they both glanced at Lori who looked royally pissed. A quick glance Shane's way told Songbird that he wasn't happy with Lori's reaction. She sighed. She might somehow be living in a soap opera.

Rick glanced her way and said, "Hey, Songbird, do you mind giving Lucky a once over? She had a close encounter while we were out."

"Sure," Songbird said, trying to make her voice much more cheerful than she felt when Daryl simply walked around her. She linked her arm through Lucky's and drew her into the next room.

"Can we do this without the jaunty bounce in our step?" Lucky said in an annoyed voice. Songbird shrugged but Lucky went on, "I apparently almost died just now, and my brother freaking shot the first guy I ever kissed; not a good day for me, if you could imagine."

Then she had to stand there while Lucky and Freddy had words over Lucky's ex. Apparently he'd been a real horn dog, and Freddy was glad that he was dead. The situation dissolved into a sloppy brother sister bonding experience and she couldn't help but glance over her shoulder at Daryl. She wondered how all this sibling bonding affected him so soon after losing his own brother. He was watching them with an unreadable expression and he turned away when he saw her looking at him.

Freddy and Lucky finished their talk and Lucky finally left the room with her. She attempted to distract herself from worrying about Daryl so she said, "The guy…did he make it into your pants?"

"No," Lucky said with a laugh. "There's no way in hell a freaking jerk like Duncan Seacrest would ever make it into these undies."

"But you kissed him," Songbird said, wondering why she'd kissed him if she didn't want to sleep with him.

Lucky undressed, spinning like Songbird had done herself for Lori when she first met up with the group. Songbird was envious of Lucky's figure; she had hips and an ass. Songbird hated her starvation diet figure. She'd never had curves like Lucky did, but she'd at least looked a hell of a lot better than she did now.

"I wanted to know what it was like," Lucky said. "And I hated it. It was so terrible! I vowed after that, no man was getting any more of this unless he really earned it."

"So you stopped kissing?" Songbird asked, thinking that might have been a drastic measure.

"No," Lucky clarified. "It's part of the test to see if they were worthy. I believe that in my whole life, I've only had one really good kiss."

"Do tell!" Songbird said, interested.

Lucky said that his name was Abrahm and then she looked off into space, obviously remembering the guy fondly.

"Wait…" Songbird said suddenly. "You're a virgin too?"

She was so happy not to be the only one that she actually clasped Lucky's hands briefly.

"I just wanted to make sure that when I did it, it would be done right." Lucky looked embarrassed. "None of that 'done before I am' business; whoever it was, had to really want me to feel it."

"That makes so much sense!" Songbird said, thinking of Daryl. She thought that he would do it right for sure. "I can learn from you!"

"And you? Did you wait on purpose or…?" Lucky asked trailing off at the end of the question.

Songbird didn't really know how to explain so she began slowly, with the best common example she could think of, "You know how girls with a lot of brothers don't really have a lot of boyfriends?"

"You have no idea!" Lucky said with a grin.

Songbird was relieved as she continued, "I suppose you could say I had a lot of brother-type figures in my life."

"Jeez! That is just sad!" Lucky put her hand on Songbird's shoulder. "We led sad, sad lives, didn't we?"

"Yeah, before all this happened, I never really had anyone that I wanted like…" Songbird trailed off this time, looking at the floor. She didn't want to tell Lucky how she felt about Daryl.

Happily, at that point, Lucky's stomach growled and Songbird accompanied her to get food, accepting the can of peaches Lucky held out.

"It was nice just being a girl for a little while. I don't really get to do that too much; not that I ever really wanted to before." Lucky said as they ate.

"What do you mean?" Songbird asked.

Lucky explained that her mother was a socialite, obsessed with entering her obviously tomboyish daughter into every beauty pageant she could get her hands on.

"So, wanna make a pallet over here with me?" Lucky asked.

Songbird glanced at Daryl; he was cleaning his cross bow bolts and talking with Rick.

"Sure," she said, jogging over to get her stuff and drag it closer to Lucky's. At least she would have someone to talk to now.

Daryl watched her drag that laptop bag over to Lucky.

"Looks like she made a friend," Rick said.

Daryl grunted and said, "So, we moving out in the morning or we gonna stay here till we rot?"

"I think we're moving out," Rick said. "Headed for Kansas as far as I know. What do you think?"

"You askin' me?" Daryl said, looking up at Rick.

"Yeah," Rick said.

"Then I say that I wouldn't have agreed to it this fast," he said honestly. "But I also say that we outnumber them and they underestimate us. The prick brother thinks we're all a bunch of idiots and the girl thinks she's some chick Rambo or some shit…but it might be the safe haven me and the Songbird were talkin' about." He thought for a moment, and then said, "So I say we got no choice, but we should keep our eyes open."

"You're smarter than I gave you credit for in the beginning," Rick said.

Daryl shrugged and said, "People always sell the redneck short."

Rick was surprised to see that half smile from Daryl again. It seemed that Daryl Dixon did have a sense of humor, a surprisingly dry sense of humor. Rick smacked him on the back and stood up, going over to Lori to talk to her about Carl taking crossbow lessons. He knew that conversation wasn't going to go well.

Authors Note: As I mentioned before, Lucky, Freddy, and later, James and Rooster do not belong to me, they belong to my best buddy. Her fanfiction is up on this site as well, it's called One Last Dream and if you read it, comment and tell her I sent you!

Gurl 3677: Thanks! I am always glad to bring excitement to people's days!

JadeSun12: This makes more sense. Thanks for the tip about putting the authors note here! And yes, I was up an entire night researching crossbows for everything that I put in the chapter, but it was really interesting and in the event that I meet Norman Reedus we'll have something to talk about (because that's TOTALLY going to happen right? Lol) I'm glad you kept reading my story even if you weren't wild about it in the beginning and I'm glad that you like Songbird. I am trying to show her growth so your comment about her growing with the story made me feel good! And…oh no! Poor Daryl in your story! Losing his crossbow!

Lucy Freebird: Yeah…Freddy has a big mouth and he often puts his foot in it…but he's a funny character and I love him (just not like I love Daryl!)

Belladonna925: Thanks! I kept cracking myself up writing it, so I'm glad that some people think it's just as funny as I thought it was! Yeah, Lori just seems like such a bitch and such a downer on the show doesn't she? And thanks for the compliment on Songbird!


	13. Chapter 12

The next morning, they all got ready to move out and Daryl sighed in relief to be back in his own truck again. Songbird had glanced at him, and even though it killed him, he didn't offer to let her ride with him. What bothered him even more was that Freddy offered to let her ride on the back of his bike and she agreed with a smile. He hated the thought of her arms around that guy. Luckily it never lasted long, they kept having to stop and push abandoned cars out of the way, it was hot, tiring work, but it kept Songbird and Freddy apart.

Songbird liked riding on the back of the motorcycle. It was a lot of fun and it was nice and cool. It was unnerving to pass Walkers with no metal around her though, and she decided that she'd probably ride in the R.V. the next day. She'd been spoiled by the security of Daryl's truck. She was happy when they finally decided to camp for the night.

Daryl popped the top of his beer and listened as they argued over who would take first watch. He hoped no one would notice him; he was freakin' exhausted and his back hurt, which made him feel old, especially since he was watching Freddy carry firewood with no visible signs of strain. However, when Lucky strolled up and mentioned that she would have a vantage point from the trees, he couldn't resist a question.

""And just what the fuck are you gonna be in the tree for?" he asked.

"Sleeping…well, keeping watch; if you'll let me, and, uh, not being eaten by walkers." she listed on her fingers. "Have you ever seen a walker climb a tree?" she finished up, pulling a juice box out of her pocket and stabbing the straw into it. She kept looking at him as she sipped and he was eventually forced to look away.

Something about that juice box made him want to laugh, but something about her attitude in general frustrated the hell out of him. It was an odd combination. He went to the truck, leaving them to figure out the watch situation on their own.

Songbird watched him go, only half listening to the "sleep in the trees" discussion. Until Freddy mentioned hammocks.

"That's another smart idea!" she said, stepping up beside Freddy. "You guys have really thought this through!"

"Well, sleeping anywhere near those things would be impossible for me; and like Lucille here says, walkers aren't really known for their tree climbing capabilities." Freddy explained. "I would be more than willing to share if anyone else were uncomfortable being so close to the ground." He continued with a sideways glance at Songbird.

"I know I haven't had a good night's sleep in I don't know how long!" Glenn said, laying down the firewood he had just brought back. "We would be taking turns with it, right?

Songbird barely kept from snickering and she wandered away as Freddy tried to explain himself. She was glad that she wouldn't have to turn him down; he was really nice and she liked riding with him, if she couldn't ride with Daryl that is, but she didn't think she wanted to spend the night in a hammock with him or anything. Daryl would…well, she wasn't sure if he would do anything as a matter of fact. She decided to distract herself; she'd never been the type to moon around over some guy and she'd be damned if she'd start with Daryl fucking Dixon!

She wanted to talk to Lucky, but she didn't see her around anywhere. She was starting to get worried when she came across her sitting with her back against a tree.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Songbird asked, relieved that she was still in one piece.

"Being thankful it wasn't Fred who found me," she answered. "I haven't had a minute to myself since this whole thing started. I didn't even realize how suffocated I felt till I was alone."

"And here I thought you were the smart one." Songbird said as she leaned another tree, she'd never been alone until those three weeks before she'd met up with the caravan and she certainly didn't see the need to start now with all those Walkers around.

"Nah." Lucky said.

Songbird wondered why Lucky didn't have a snappy answer. She didn't seem to want her to leave, so Songbird sat with her in silence until Freddy showed up, scolded his sister for being careless and giving her a grin, which she returned before she walked into the R.V. and lay down on the floor with a sigh. Her decision to forget about Daryl was proving to be difficult, especially since she had to imagine herself in his arms to get to sleep.

Several hours after he'd gone to sleep, Daryl heard a soft knock on the camper. He squinted out and saw Songbird standing outside.

"The fuck?" he muttered; he wouldn't have let her in if it wasn't nearly pitch black out there.

He sighed and let the tailgate down.

"Get in," he said brusquely. "What are you doing out here?"

"I miss you," she said softly, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"You shouldn't be out here," he said, refusing to acknowledge how happy he was to see her.

"I couldn't sleep," she continued. "I keep thinking about you. I can't stop imagining your hands on me…and how it felt for me to have my mouth on you."

Whatever he'd been expecting her to say, it wasn't that.

"You still think about that?" he asked, reaching out and running his fingers over her lips.

"Yeah," she said, "I don't like to leave things unfinished, Daryl."

He stared at her; she moved closer and pressed her lips to his. He cupped the back of her head and returned the kiss. He'd missed her so much. When her lips moved down his neck as her hands moved to his belt buckle he felt his stomach muscles contract. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about her lips on him either. She pulled his jeans down and he sat back, feeling his heart start to thud. Songbird knelt between his legs, wrapping her hand around him and stroking downward as she took him into her mouth.

She was really, really, good. Her hand stroked the base of his cock as she swirled her tongue around the head.

"Oh God," he groaned. "Oh God yeah…"

"You like it?" she asked around him, turning him on even more with that smoky voice.

"Yeah, darlin'," he said, holding his breath and looking down at her teasing him with flicks of her tongue and short, shallow sucks as she brought her hand up to meet her lips and slid it back down again and again.

Once he'd had all he could take, he reached out and gripped her hair, moving her down a bit, wanting her to take him deeper. When she obliged it was over; he came as she continued sucking. Daryl's head came into emphatic contact with the metal of the truck as he yelled her name. It hurt, but that wasn't the worst of it. It woke him up.

He covered his face with his hands, catching his breath. For a moment all he wondered was whether or not he'd actually yelled "Songbird." The camp was still quiet so he assumed with relief that he hadn't. That was the most realistic dream he'd ever had in his entire life! Daryl exhaled. Now he was wondering if that was what it would be like with her. He somehow didn't think that she would be quite so bold in real life. He couldn't help idly asking himself if she would swallow though, he'd never been with a girl that would and he thought that would be sexy as hell.

Daryl forced his train of thought back to the fact that it didn't matter. She wasn't his. He knew that she never would be, especially since it was finally clear that there were still other people in the world. Other people to keep her safe, to make her laugh, people like that prick Freddy. He rolled over and threw his pillow over his head, vowing to find a way to stop thinking about her.

Songbird was chatting with Andrea the next morning when Daryl walked up to the fire.

"Morning!" Songbird said.

He ignored her until he felt an icy stare. Andrea was giving him the dirtiest look he had ever seen.

"Mornin'," he said reflexively.

Songbird smiled; he made the mistake of glancing at her mouth. She had a sexy mouth. He remembered last night's dream with his entire body suddenly. Daryl had never been good at giving up what he wanted. He wanted Songbird.

He was opening his mouth when suddenly Freddy walked up behind her and, throwing his arm over her shoulders, said, "Hey, you're riding with me again today again right?"

"Umm…" Songbird began, glancing at Daryl. His eyes had narrowed and his jaw had tightened. Before she could ask about joining him in the truck he walked away. "Sure," she said. "I guess so."

They didn't ride for long before they hit a road block. There were two choices, go through a marshy area and be straight on the road to where they needed to be or go through West Helena.

"What's wrong with West Helena?" Lori asked.

"It's a big city," Songbird began.

"Which means it's a crazy bad idea," Lucky said.

"But the other option is a swamp!" Lori said.

"Hey look! There's a mall," Songbird said, pointing across the marsh. "Do you think we could go on a quick looting trip?"

It wasn't as dumb as it sounded; she only had that one outfit and Lucky had mentioned layers.

Daryl gave her a look and said, "Don't be stupid. We don't know what's in there and we don't have time to find out."

She opened her mouth, but Daryl jumped back into the Marsh/Big City argument. Since he had a truck, he was pushing for going through the marsh.

The argument quickly picked up in both speed and volume. Songbird sighed, looking toward the mall and thinking of how nice it would be to have something besides jeans and a tee shirt to wear every day. She wiggled her toes; her sneakers were getting a hole in the bottom as well. An elbow in the ribs from Lucky distracted her from her thoughts.

She glanced her way and Lucky tilted her head in the direction of the mall, raising her eyebrows. Songbird grinned and nodded. Lucky grabbed her bow, Songbird checked her knife sheaths and then they snuck away quietly.

Once they were out of hearing range, Lucky said, "Finally! Some time alone!"

"Yeah really," she said. "Sometimes he gets on my nerves!"

"Sorry if Freddy's been bothering you," Lucky said sympathetically. "He gets on my nerves too."

"Not Freddy," Songbird said. "Daryl. He treats me like a little kid!" She didn't think going the mall was such a bad idea. Obviously she would have done it with caution and in a large group; it wouldn't have been nearly as dangerous as it was now. She bit her lip, hoping Lucky had a plan, or that she was a least a really fast runner.

"And shouldn't he? He is a lot older than you." Lucky asked. "But…on the other hand…he does seem really immature."

"Why is everybody making such a big deal about our age difference?" Songbird asked. "Age doesn't matter!"

"I never said it did," Lucky replied. "But, and I'm trying to be nice about this, you act like a three year old on Christmas! Every day!"

Songbird frowned and looked down at her shoes, feeling hurt. She was just trying to be nice and not make waves. She didn't want to add any tension, so she supposed that she might try a bit too hard to be cheerful at times.

Lucky sighed in exasperation and said, "All I'm saying is that maybe, maybe, you should tone it down a little bit. Or maybe he's the one acting like a kid and he's taking it out on you. I don't know; I have about as much experience with relationships as you do."

"Daryl and I don't have a relationship," Songbird answered. "And tone _what _down?"

"You do have a relationship, obviously, since you're complaining about it," Lucky countered. "And tone down all the bright eyed, bushy tailed whatever the hell it is that makes you so animated!"

"Animated? Like a cartoon?" Songbird asked, still a bit insulted, but also kind of amused.

"Yes, like the little kid kind with the music and the dancing. The dancing…oh God the dancing!" Lucky finished dramatically, smacking her forehead with her hand.

"Oh, so you facepalm too," Songbird said. "Does that help? And," she hurried on. "I don't dance…much."

"We picked up the facepalming in middle school," Lucky explained. "Our moms thought it was vulgar."

"I thought Freddy was your brother?" Songbird said, grimacing as the marsh water finally soaked through her sneakers.

"He is; we share a dad. Our moms were best friends who thought it would be clever to use the same sperm donor," Lucky clarified.

"So…wait. How do you share a dad then? You mean you actually know the sperm donor? I thought that was sort an anonymous thing," Songbird was confused.

"The contract said that the sperm donor could have visitation, so our moms sent Freddy and me to stay with him for two weeks every summer," Lucky said, scanning the mall for Walkers.

As they stepped onto the sidewalk, a group of four Walkers came shuffling around the corner and were joined by two more from behind a dumpster.

"Take care of those two," Lucky said, pointing with the arrow she was about to nock at the ones that had come from behind the dumpster. "I'll handle these fuckers," she said as she turned around.

Songbird heard the swooshing of Lucky's arrows as she drew her knives and threw, sinking them into the Walker's eye sockets easily. She turned, but Lucky was already gathering her arrows from the Walker's heads. Songbird shrugged and turned back, pulling her knives out as well and wiping them off on the ragged Hawaiian shirt of the closest Walker.

"I beat you," Lucky said with a laugh.

"Yeah," Songbird said. "That's a fast bow."

"You only think so because you're used to Daryl and his crossbow," Lucky said. "They both look like they're getting on in years."

"Hey!" Songbird said. "Don't insult Mary Jane! And Daryl isn't that old…he's only 35."

She wondered why she was defending Daryl. But he was good with that bow and he'd saved her life more than once. She owed him that much at least. She opened the door to the mall and ushered Lucky in, renewing her vow to forget about him.

Daryl glanced around; aggravated with Lori and the fact that nobody ever fuckin' listened to him. He was hoping to catch the Songbird's eye. She never lost her temper and she always managed to calm him down, even if she didn't say anything.

She wasn't there. Lucky wasn't there either.

"Where's the Songbird?" he asked over the argument.

"Where's my sister?" Freddy asked, glancing around as well.

"Fuck!" Daryl was pissed when everyone just looked around blankly. "How the hell did everybody miss seeing them leave? Where would they go?"

"The only thing in easy distance is the mall," Freddy replied. "And Songbird was talking about clothes."

Daryl walked off toward the marsh, the rest of the group followed. He found Songbird's tracks easily enough and, clenching his teeth to keep from saying things about Songbird that he didn't really feel, but desperately wanted to say, he said, "That's where they went."

"Well," Rick said, "It looks like we're going shopping anyway."

"Ah…clothes! Free clothes! All for us!" Lucky said happily.

"So, where to first?" Songbird asked, looking around.

"Boots," Lucky said. "I need boots."

"I love boots!" Songbird was pleased.

"I guess you're not as much of an idiot as I thought," Lucky caught herself and said, "I mean…great!"

"Call me what you want," Songbird said, wondering if Lucky was kidding or mean, or just the type of person who said whatever she was thinking. "As long as I get some kick-ass boots!"

They found a shoe store and they went in opposite directions: Lucky to the combat boots and Songbird to the sneakers. She found a pair of pink and green converse in her size and pulled them on, leaving her old sneakers on the floor. She stood, testing the shoes and sighing happily as she felt cushion in her shoes for the first time since way before the whole apocalypse started. Then she saw something else; something that made her gasp in amazement.

"Oh my God!" she squealed, running to the back of the store.

"What?" Lucky asked unshouldering her bow. "How many are there?"

"Only one and its fucking mine!" Songbird said, snatching the boots from the shelf and hugging them to her chest.

"Where would you wear those?" Lucky asked, eyeing the boots. "They're thigh high, with a three inch heel! And they are leather! You're gonna have to oil those up to keep them soft and…"

"And they cost 1500.00!" Songbird said happily. "I never would have been able to have boots like this before! Do you know what these are Lucky? These are fuck me boots!"

Lucky laughed and said, "I'm sure both Daryl and Freddy will be pleased to see them."

Songbird shrugged and said, "I wouldn't hold my breath. Daryl Dixon doesn't seem very impressed with me lately."

They made their way into a clothing store and Lucky searched through the women's department, turning her nose up at what she referred to as "hideous, old-lady clothing." Songbird had a problem of her own. She could tell just by looking that nothing was going to fit her.

"What are you just standing there for?" Lucky asked, shrugging off her shirt and trying on another one.

"No reason," Songbird said. "It's just that none of these clothes are going to fit me. I lost way too much weight doing that whole starving thing."

"What did you do that for?" Lucky asked.

Songbird decided that Lucky's question didn't dignify an answer.

"Fine," Lucky said, gesturing to the juniors department. "Look over there for something; and please be careful."

"Oh God not you too!" Songbird said walking away as she continued, "Why does everyone assume that I'm incapable of protecting myself? Did you not see me throwing the knives?"

"I meant clothing wise!" Lucky called. "I don't want to be seen with someone who doesn't know how to dress!"

Songbird sighed and started looking at the clothes. She found some jeans and a belt, then gathered some shirts and smiled happily when she found the hoodies. She'd had a favorite gray one that had gotten left behind; it had been much too big and very soft. These were smaller obviously, cut for teenage girls like herself. She still stuffed a few into the bag; she'd traveled the whole country and she knew it would only get colder the further from the south she went. She also found a denim jacket and stuffed it into the bag with that in mind. Then Songbird glanced around for something she could wear out of the mall and her eyes fell on the outfit on the nearest mannequin. It was cute, a blue plaid skirt and a white button up shirt. She envisioned it with the boots…it looked good to her! She was getting it off the rack when she heard Lucky squeal.

She ran back and saw her doing a happy dance in front of a stack of shirts.

"Graphic tees…all for me!" Lucky sang.

"And you said I should tone it down," Songbird said with a shake of her head. She and Lucky examined the tee shirts, she couldn't resist one that said "I'm an English major; you do the math." Lucky was still looking when Songbird changed into the outfit she's picked out and pulled on her boots as well.

"Look Lucky!" she said, spinning around. "It's a kilt!"

"That's not a kilt," Lucky said matter of factly.

"What do you mean it's not a kilt! It's plaid," Songbird said.

"And just what clan would that be?" Freddy asked.

"The clan of the under-clothed?" Lucky asked eyeing the length of the skirt.

"Shit!" Songbird felt her face heat up with embarrassment. "How long have you been there?"

"I'd say he's been there for at least a full five minutes," Lucky said.

"Watching me?" Songbird squeaked.

"No, I got this great shirt, from over there in the men's department," Freddy said, pointing to his chest.

Songbird noticed that he was now sporting a pinstripe button down shirt. It didn't exactly go with his dirty jeans and muddy boots, but he looked happy with it.

"Nice," she said.

"I'm going to go let everybody else know that I found you," Freddy said. "Stay here."

Songbird felt almost sick with nervousness all of a sudden. Daryl was going to be furious with her! But at least to be furious, he'd have to acknowledge her and if he did, then maybe she could reason with him, let him know that she didn't blame him for what happened with Merle…and find out whether or not he blamed her for his brother's death. She took a deep breath and vowed not to be concerned…unless he was concerned.

"I found them," Freddy said.

Daryl walked into the store. He'd been so worried that he'd felt sick when he'd realized that she was gone, and he was planning to give her a real fuckin' piece of his mind!

"Hey, Daryl," she said when he appeared, clenching his jaw.

The words he'd planned to say died. What the fuck was she wearing? The blue plaid skirt didn't come near the tops of those black boots and the white button up shirt was tight, stretching across her breasts. She looked like a Catholic schoolgirl. She also looked good enough to eat. He imagined pulling that skirt up and letting her wrap those long legs around him…

Freddy walked over to her and said, "You look good, Songbird. Even if it's not a kilt."

"Thanks," Songbird said, giving him a smile and glancing at Daryl.

He swallowed hard and turned away. He began listing the reasons again, over and over; as if it were a prayer…she was too young, he was white trash and therefore not good enough for her, Freddy was obviously interested in her…that prick. He walked over to the men's department. He didn't have anything really warm to wear and winter would be colder in Kansas than in Georgia.

Daryl grabbed three new pairs of jeans and a couple of long sleeved shirts off of the racks. Then, he decided that, since he had no idea when he'd get to stock up on clothes again, he'd get more than that. He got a big shopping bag and came back, stuffing it with the jeans and shirts, then adding socks, a pack of plain old Hanes wife-beaters, and, after a glance over his shoulder, a nicer shirts and pants that weren't jeans. He also found a leather jacket that fit really well.

Rick came by with a bag of his own and glanced at Daryl. He felt bad for him. It must have been absolutely humiliating for Daryl when Freddy had thought that Daryl was the Songbird's father. Especially since Freddy seemed determined to keep trying to flirt with Songbird, and since, even though Daryl was obviously trying, he wasn't succeeding in making anyone believe that he didn't want her.

"Anything good?" Rick asked.

"Hell, it ain't K-mart," Daryl said with a shrug of his shoulders. "There's a lot of good shit." He pointed to the jackets as he spoke.

"I figured that, since we're here and it seems pretty clear, we'll make it count," Rick said when the group came back with their bags of clothing. "Want to look around a bit more? Maybe find some hygiene supplies?"

"There was a Bath and Body Works," Songbird said, "They have guy stuff too."

"All right," Rick said. "We'll head there, just everybody keep what you take to what you can carry and still defend yourselves. There's nothing in this mall worth anybody's life."

When they got inside Rick, Daryl, Glenn, and T-dog went to the back, where Songbird had pointed out the men's section.

"Could really use a new razor," Rick said glancing at the shelves and seeing that Bath and Body Works didn't offer stuff like that.

"Fuck that," Daryl said. "I hate shavin'. Didn't do it half the time anyway."

The men stared at the selection of bath stuff. Glenn finally reached forward and pulled down a green bottle.

"Mint shampoo," he said. "To revitalize you. Do you guys need to be revitalized?"

"I _am_ stressed out," T-dog said with a grin. "Yo, where the lavender at? And maybe we can find some rose petals for the tub."

Everyone laughed and Rick shook his head, reading a few more product descriptions, products that offered, among other things: renewal, revitalization, stress relief, and younger, healthier skin.

"Oh God," Daryl finally said, when they were done laughing. "We gotta get something though. I guess all of it smells like somethin'? I mean somethin' besides soap?"

"They've got unscented," Glenn said, but as Daryl reached for it, he continued, "It's extra gentle for sensitive skin."

"Probably wouldn't even get you clean," Daryl said. "Fuckin' pussy-ass shit."

"All right," Rick said after the laughter died down again, it had been something about the look on Daryl's face when he insulted the soap that had set them off this time. "Daryl's right. We've got to get something. It'll be better to smell like mint than smell the way we do now."

"That's a good point," Glenn said.

They faced the wall, each taking a deep breath before grabbing the first products they laid hands on, choosing quickly and stuffing them into the bags. Each not wanting to give the other any ammunition for jokes later. Daryl just hoped he didn't end up with something girly…he hadn't seen anything flower scented, but that would be just his luck.

In the next shop, Glenn pulled two of the shirts he'd gotten in the other store out and left them on the floor so that he could fit more deodorant in his bag. Daryl put his jacket on, even though it was hot, for more room in his bag, but, while he did put quite a few containers of deodorant in his bag, he didn't fill it up. He walked a few isles over and Rick saw him grin as he began stuffing the bag with toothpaste and several toothbrushes, followed by Listerine and floss.

"Happy?" Rick asked when the bag was so full he couldn't fit anything else into it.

"You got no idea," Daryl said. "This is the best thing I've found so far!"

When Rick laughed, Daryl shrugged and said, "You know how there's the one little thing that bugs you more than anything else?"

"Yeah," Rick said.

"Well, for me it's this. It's been drivin' me crazy," he continued. "Brushing without toothpaste just ain't the same. What's yours?"

"The little thing?" Rick mused, adding toothpaste and brushes to his own bag. "The fact that there's no ice. I miss ice."

"Yeah," Daryl agreed. "Or refrigeration in general. I miss cold beer."

"And iced tea," Rick continued as they walked over to the razors.

"And ice-cream," Daryl said, watching Rick put razors in his bag.

"And cold Gatorade," Rick said with a grin.

"It's the best thing for a hangover," Daryl defended himself. "What are you doing?" he asked as Rick stuffed two razors and some shaving cream into his bag.

"You don't have to shave every day," Rick said. "But it couldn't hurt every once in a while."

Meanwhile, Songbird had stayed with Lucky in the other department store, seeing as how she hadn't been invited to go with the guys. She couldn't deny that it was nice to hang out with Lucky, even though she still wasn't exactly sure that Lucky liked her.

"Did you find anything good?" Lucky asked her.

"All the necessities, did you see the hoodies?" She pointed some out as they walked past them and Lucky grabbed some for herself. "And a belt!" Songbird continued, holding it up. She was really happy about the belt; it meant that her jeans would stay where she put them without her having to adjust them twenty times a day.

"Good. No one else needs to see those ratty undies you're wearing." Lucky said.

"What?" Songbird felt her whole body heat up as she blushed.

"Yeah. You might want to keep jumping to a minimum in that skirt." Lucky continued. "Just saying."

"Oh God!" Songbird pulled her skirt down. "What am I going to do?"

"Get prettier panties?" Lucky suggested.

"I like the way you think." Songbird said with a smile.

She saw that they had arrived at the lingerie section; she walked over the packs of panties.

"What are you doing?" Lucky asked, taking panties out of her hands. "I  
>said pretty."<p>

With those words, Lucky threw a thong at her.

"I wouldn't even know where to start with something like this." Songbird held the thong away from her body as she glanced at it.

Lucky laughed. "Well then start with some of those."

Songbird noticed that she was pointing in the direction of some more regular underwear, boy shorts and bikini cut panties. They were really cute, there were lots of different fabrics, from silk to cotton; she liked them all. She held up a red satin pair and got Lucky's attention, pleased when she got a thumbs up.

She was even happier when she saw the corsets, one of them was blue satin with black lace and it had a see-through thong as well. It sort of reminded her of something she'd worked in, except she'd had tights under it.

"I love these!" she said, putting it in her bag.

"I thought you said you wouldn't know where to start with something like this." Lucky said, amusement evident in her voice.

"Well, it's all attached to this top, that way I'll know which way is up!" Songbird explained happy when her explanation made Lucky laugh.

She saw Lucky push a pretty green teddy down into her bag and figured she didn't want any comment so she turned to look at the bras. There were lots of pretty ones, much better than the ones she was used to. She got a rainbow assortment to go with all the panties she hadn't been able to resist. The fabrics were nice and she was surprised to find such a good selection in her size, a depressing A cup.

Before she had time to dwell on it, she noticed a rack of footie pajamas. How cute was that? She walked over, leaving Lucky to look at the bras on her own. The pajamas were really adorable; she normally slept in a long tee shirt. She grabbed a pair of red and white stripped footie pajamas and some thermals for when it got colder and then a pair of cotton Tinkerbelle pajamas. She was trying to decide if she needed anything else when she heard a scream of, "Friggin' perv!"

"What the hell?" she muttered, drawing her knives and heading that way. By the time she got to Lucky, she saw Shane on the ground in front of an undressed, furious Lucky. "What's going on?" She didn't really need an answer, by the luck on Shane's face she could tell he'd gotten a boot in the balls. She stifled a giggle, not wanting to make the situation worse as she said, "Oh."

Lucky raised her eyebrow at Songbird and then went back to kicking Shane. He obviously wasn't in much pain, he was still laughing as he tried to get up.

"God, stop! You're killing me!" Shane laughed.

"What the hell is going on here?" Songbird gathered that the guys had come back when she heard Rick's voice.

Lucky stopped kicking Shane, belatedly realizing that she was in her underwear. Daryl watched her cover herself, unable to stop his gaze from skimming her curves. She was obviously…healthier than Songbird. He glanced at Songbird, who was trying to hide a smile over Shane getting kicked, and realized in surprise that he still thought she was sexier than Lucky, even though she was still way too skinny. And he'd always been a man who preferred curves. Shane's answer to Rick's question distracted him from further comparison.

"She was just giving me a little peep show."

"Like hell! I thought I was alone." Lucky said vehemently.

"You let your defenses down?" Freddy cut in.

"I needed new underwear!" she retorted. "You're a guy; you have no idea how important a good bra is!"

"You could have died! Over a bra!" Freddy said.

"Then I would have died happy! Jeez! Life is pretty much over, Fred, let me have my pleasures where I can get them. Um, do you guys mind turning around?" she asked pointedly.

Daryl and the rest turned and Lucky pulled her dress on and walked away. Songbird followed her, still amused.

"Stop that." Lucky snarled.

"Right." Songbird said, still grinning. "That was awesome!"

"It was embarrassing!" Lucky protested

"Eh, I could have watched you beating the crap out of Shane all day," it wasn't specifically that Songbird hated Shane or anything…but he was a cocky bastard at times and it was nice to see that Lucky wasn't going to be afraid to stand up to him when he went all Alpha Dog on everyone.

Lucky finally gave her a smile. "Didn't quite knock that smirk off his face, though, did I?"

Songbird shrugged; glad she wasn't the only one who thought that Shane's smirk was annoying. When they got everything wrapped up in the mall they headed out as a group. She was surprised when Lucky stopped at the edge of the parking lot.

"Well, what are you waiting on? Let's go!" Freddy said as he began walking through the soggy field.

"Nope." Lucky stayed put. "Go on without me." Freddy turned and raised his eyebrows at his sister. "Do you really think I am going to ruin these perfectly good boots right after I got them?" Lucky continued, pointing down at her new cowgirl boots.

"For real! We worked hard to loot this stuff, why ruin it now?" Songbird agreed, even though she'd been seconds from stepping into the marsh herself.

"I am not having this argue…" Freddy began.

"There's no time for this." Shane interrupted as he threw Lucky over his shoulder. "The others were worried enough before; that's why they sent me to find y'all."

He began his trek back to the group they'd left at the crossroads. Songbird stared after Lucky in surprise, wondering why she wasn't putting up a fight. She also wondered how she was going to get across the marsh. Daryl looked like he was on the verge of laughing at Lucky who was dangling over Shane's shoulder with a pitiful expression on her face. It certainly didn't look like he'd be offering to carry her.

"Hey," Freddy said. "Want a piggy back ride? Those are some nice boots."

"Sure!" she answered.

Freddy turned around, Songbird hopped up and he set off through the marsh. Daryl stared in shock and envy as she wrapped her long legs tightly around that little punk and rested her chin on his shoulder. That skirt was so damn short that he could tell that she was wearing new red underwear. He stomped off through the marsh behind them, blocking her ass from view, so pissed off that he couldn't even enjoy the waterproof capabilities of his brand new boots.

Once they were all on dry ground, Songbird said, "Well, at least we proved that everyone can drive through the marsh!"

Nobody answered her.


	14. Chapter 13

"That was an insane thing to do!"

Songbird stared in surprise at Andrea.

"What?" she asked.

"You just ran off because you didn't get your way!" Andrea was barely keeping from screaming. "You could have been killed! The fact that the mall wasn't full of Walkers was just luck! What would you and your little friend have done if you'd encountered a hoard of them? What would you have done then?"

"I…" Songbird began. "I just didn't have anything to wear…"

"You almost died for a new outfit!" Andrea shrieked. "Get it through your head Songbird! This isn't a game! People count on you to act like you've got some sense! If you're going to be a complete idiot when she's around then…then…I won't let you associate with her!"

"Wait. You're grounding me?" Songbird couldn't believe it.

"If that's what it takes to keep you alive then fuck yes!"

Dale came into the camper, looking at the two of them in confusion.

"What's going on here?" he asked, putting his hand on Andrea's shoulder.

"I'm trying to get it through her thick teenager skull that this is an _apocalypse_!" Andrea said cuttingly. "Maybe you can do a better job of explaining to her why she shouldn't have gone to the mall with only one other person! Maybe you can explain to her what it's like to care and then lose people! Maybe you can explain to her what it's like to watch people get eaten or what it's like to have put them down like goddamn dogs!"

She'd run out of breath toward the end and Songbird winced as she spat out the last words.

"I…" Songbird couldn't formulate a sentence. She'd been expecting to get chewed out, sure. But not by Andrea!

"I'm going outside," Andrea said, storming out of the R.V. and over to the fire.

"I didn't do it to hurt her," Songbird said weakly to Dale.

"Sit down," he said.

Oh no. He was mad at her too.

"Now, what you did was extremely reckless," Dale said. "Andrea won't tell you this, so I will. She was on a road trip with her sister Amy when all this started. Amy was a college freshman. She was 18. Andrea watched her bleed out; a Walker ripped a chunk out of her neck."

Songbird swallowed hard.

"It was her birthday the next day," Dale said. "Fate has excellent timing. Now when you showed up, I worried that it would hurt Andrea and I think there were times when it did. To see you laughing, playing with the kids, flirting with Daryl. Living the kind of life her sister would have lived if she was still with us. Well," Dale amended, "I don't think Amy cared for Daryl much. But Andrea took you in and she's grown to care for you a good deal. And you pull this disappearing act? She was frantic!"

"I'm sorry!" she said. "I am sorry!" she repeated when he just looked at her steadily. "I shouldn't have…I didn't know she would care."

"We all care," Dale said. "Andrea, Carol, Sophia, myself, Rick, Glenn…we have to be close. We have to. We could die any day; there are people here that I would die for. Andrea most of all. You're too young to see it and you've been…occupied with Daryl. Open your eyes young lady. They risked their lives to get you back. Nobody knew anything about that mall, except that it was where you two had gone."

Songbird didn't know what to say.

"Thank you," she finally said softly. "I haven't been paying attention. I'll go apologize to Andrea, but first I want to say that I'm sorry to you. You've given me a place in your R.V. when you didn't have to, and you've been so nice. I didn't mean to act like it didn't matter…"

"I understand," Dale said, patting her knee. "I was young once too, you know. I know what's its like when one person takes up all the space in your head. Just try to make some room for the rest of the people who care about you."

"I will," she said. "Now, will you come with me so Andrea doesn't kill me?"

He chuckled and nodded, holding his arm out gallantly. Songbird looped hers through it and walked out to the fire. She was glad she had when pretty much everyone gave her a dirty look. Carol and Andrea the same, "Teenagers" expression, Glenn, T-dog, and Shane a "Women" expression, Rick that even "I'm a cop and you've disappointed me" expression, Daryl only gave her the barest glance before he twisted the cap off of a water bottle and took a drink. Even Sophia looked angry with her, keeping her eyes on the ground.

"I wanted to say that I was sorry," Songbird said, glad that she was used to crowds. Happier crowds admittedly, but crowds none the less. "What I did wasn't right. I shouldn't have gone off by myself. Or…well, with just Lucky, even though she is great with that bow. I made some of you worry," she went on, glancing at Dale. "And I put all of you in danger. Will you forgive me?"

Daryl had never heard her sound quite so young before. She was twisting her fingers together nervously as she watched them all. He hoped nobody would yell at her; he'd hate to have to stomp someone's ass just when they were all getting along.

"You did put all of us in a bad position," Rick began.

Daryl gave him a squinty look and he said, "But your idea ended up being a good one. We had no way of knowing it at the time, and I'm still not sure it was worth the risk," he clarified when Shane shot him the look this time. "But it worked out, we're all alive and we have some sorely needed supplies for the winter. I for one do not hold it against you."

"Yeah, me neither," Glenn said. "I kinda wanted to check out the mall too, so I'm glad things worked out the way they did."

"It coulda been real bad," T-dog said. "But it wasn't. And now when I get stressed, I can just borrow Daryl's soap and be revitalized."

"Fuck you," Daryl said with a grin and a shake of his head.

"What?" Songbird asked, distracted.

"Inside joke," Glenn explained. "Out of the moment it wouldn't be nearly as funny."

"So is this your way of saying that you'll act like you have a brain in the future?" Shane asked.

"Now, come on," Dale said. "She's saying she's sorry. She can't take back the past."

"Everybody has judgment lapses," Songbird said. "But I will be more careful."

"You'd better be," Andrea said. "Otherwise…"

"I'll be grounded till I have grandkids?" Songbird asked, giving her a hopeful smile.

"Something like that," Andrea admitted. "Come here."

Songbird stepped over and Andrea wrapped her arms around her.

"I'm sorry I screamed at you," Andrea whispered.

"I don't mind," Songbird answered. "It made me feel at home."

Andrea gave her a funny look when she said that, but it had; everyone had always been so strict with her when she was growing up! It had been strange for her to feel like nobody cared what she did. She wondered briefly if that was why she'd been so attracted to Daryl in the first place. Then she shook off her thoughts of him. Dale was right. It was time to think about other things!

Carol hugged her as well and Songbird looked down at Sophia.

"What about you?" she asked. "Do you forgive me?"

"I was afraid you were dead," Sophia muttered.

"I know," Songbird knelt in front of the girl and held her pinky out saying, "I solemnly pinky swear never to be so stupid again. If you'll forgive me."

Sophia finally looked at her. A small smile played around the girl's lips and she linked her pinky with Songbird's saying, "All right. But just this once."

"Yes ma'm," Songbird said happily.

Daryl looked at her smiling at the kid and sighed, looking down at his boots.

"You're not going to forgive her?" Rick asked in an undertone.

"What?" he asked glancing Rick's way.

"Everybody else did," Rick went on. "Don't you think that it'd mean something to her if you did too?"

"If I do that then she'll want back in the truck," Daryl answered impatiently.

"And you want me to believe that you don't want her there?" Rick asked.

"I don't give a damn what you believe," Daryl said with a shrug of his shoulders, aiming for nonchalant.

The look on Rick's face told him he'd missed the mark; he lost his temper.

"It's none of your damn business anyway," he snarled, starting to stand up.

"Well, now just hold on," Rick said. "You're right. I just didn't want you making her feel bad over this. She's just a kid…"

"Think I don't know that?" Daryl stood up and walked away.

Did Rick think that he hadn't noticed? He stopped by the truck, grabbed his bow and went for a walk. He wanted to hunt but there was no point; there wouldn't be need if that compound was everything it was being talked up to be. He almost hoped for a Walker attack. He was in the mood to kill something.

He didn't know how to act around the group; he thought it was weird that they were talking to him…two cops, a black guy, a Korean kid…nothing in his life up to now had taught him how to talk to people like that. Construction? Yeah. Hunting? Yeah. Sports, beer, and cars? Yeah. Women? Yeah, that too. But not women like Songbird, Andrea, or that Lucky chick. They were women who had it together, women who wouldn't take shit because they wouldn't need to. Even Carol, although he was used to women whose husbands had belted them a few, was different. Where he was from the woman dished it out as well as they took it. He'd seen more than one man come to work with a black eye or a goose egg from a frying pan. He smiled briefly, remembering how Andy Lusk had come to work beat up every time his wife went drinkin'.

He couldn't relate to anybody there; even little eighteen year old Songbird used words sometimes that he didn't know. Daryl headed back to the truck. He was surprised to find Rick standing beside it.

"What?" Daryl asked, letting down the tailgate.

"I didn't mean to stick my nose in your business," Rick said. "It's just that…hell everybody can see how much she likes you and uh…from the way you say her name I can tell…"

Humiliation washed through Daryl; he could fill in the blanks. Apparently he _had_ actually yelled her name that morning. He wondered who else had heard, but he couldn't bring himself to ask. He boosted himself onto the tailgate, getting a beer and lighting a cigarette.

Then he cleared his throat and said, "You said it yourself, she's just a kid."

"Feel like parting with one of those?" Rick asked, nodding to the beer. "She's above the age of consent."

"Sure," Daryl said, handing a beer over and scooting to the side so Rick could sit on the tailgate as well. "But that ain't the point. I…hell, Rick I wouldn't know what to do with her!"

Rick nearly spit his beer out. He swallowed rapidly and laughed as he said, "Well, I think that explaining that is a bit outside my duties as a police officer…but essentially…"

"Screw you," Daryl said. "Nothin' worse than a sarcastic cop."

"Then what do you mean?" Rick asked.

"You've met her right?" Daryl said. "She's innocent, and young, and smart…" he trailed off for a moment and then continued, "She'll end up grateful when all this shit clears up."

"You really think it's going to?"

Daryl looked up at the dark night sky and then said, "Hell, I don't know. I don't see how it can. The CDC ain't gonna fix it, that's for damn sure. I really don't know who else could."

"About the Songbird," Rick said determinedly.

"Look," Daryl cut in. "You said it wasn't any of your business and you're right. Just let it go."

"Fine," Rick said, taking another sip of his beer. "We'll just wait and see won't we?"

"What do you mean wait and see?"

"There's not many women left," Rick said. "And that girl hasn't exactly made it a secret that she wants you. I'm just saying that I think you could figure out what to do with her."

Daryl only shrugged and popped the top on another beer.

"How much beer do you have back there anyway?" Rick asked.

"Two and half cases," Daryl answered and, pointing at Rick's beer, he continued, "But that's all you get."

Rick stayed till he finished the beer, wondering if the Songbird had changed Daryl that much or if he'd always been a decent, if quick-tempered, guy under that rough exterior. He thought it might be both. Merle wouldn't have adapted nearly this well and he didn't think that Merle would have pushed the Songbird away out of a, misguided in Rick's opinion, desire to keep her pure for when a better man came along.

Rick wasn't as suspicious of the girl as his wife was, but he was positive she was hiding something. There must be something about her past that she was ashamed of. It was odd that Daryl was so sure she was better than him when none of them really even knew that much about her.

Rick left Daryl being martyr-like and went to talk to Lucky. Songbird, who was aware that Andrea would not approve, had inched her way over to Lucky and Freddy, maybe the fact that Rick was there would help her case. He was an officer of the law dang it! Lucky and Freddy were horsing around as usual, so she managed to work her way into the group without being noticed.

"Y'all seem to be having a good time over here." Rick said, giving them a smile.

"Oh, my sister is just telling me how she would throw me under the bus for a few laughs." Freddy said.

"Yep." Lucky agreed. "I am only keeping you around for the moment I can get optimum happiness from your demise."

"Aw, you're too cute to be that evil." Rick said with a grin.

Songbird's mouth dropped open at Rick's flirtatious comment; it was more shocking than the blush that covered Lucky's face when she heard it. She glanced at Glenn who looked sort of downcast and at T-dog who was grinning.

"See, evil people just don't blush like that." to Songbird's further shock, Rick leaned closer to Lucky and even winked at her!

Lucky was apparently as shocked as Songbird was, because she didn't even have a reply. Eventually everyone began to chuckle. Lucky blushed further.

Rick laughed and shook his head as he said, "I think we should be about ready to head out, now that we know there is a hard bottom on the marsh."

"Sounds good." T-Dog answered. "Want us to start packing everyone up now?"

"Yeah, let's try to move out within the hour." Rick responded, slapping Glenn on the back and giving Lucky one last smile before turning to get his stuff together.

Songbird walked away with a glance at the still-speechless Lucky. She figured that Andrea would yell again if she tried to ride with Freddy. Daryl thought that at least he had that on his side, watching her get into R.V. He crushed his beer can and got into the truck.

They made their way across Arkansas at a decent pace, Daryl thought. That prick Freddy and Lucky were getting more and more cheerful the closer the caravan got to Kansas. Daryl tried not to begrudge them their happiness, but it wasn't easy, especially since Freddy was still hangin' all over Songbird and she wasn't pushin' him the fuck away. In fact, he could tell that she really liked the guy. She didn't glance his way nearly as often anymore.

Songbird sat beside the fire, chatting with Freddy, or rather listening as he talked. She thought that he might be interested in her, even though he had a strange way of showing it. She looked at him; the firelight made his auburn hair look redder than usual and as he talked she wondered what it would be like to kiss him. Lucky had said that kissing was a test, but to Songbird kissing was what you did with someone you wanted to go to bed with. Freddy wasn't a bad looking guy. He was tall and she'd always had a thing for tall guys. He was strong as well, he could carry her without breaking a sweat and when they had to move cars Freddy always helped with no complaints. And he actually liked her. Unlike some people who barely even spoke to her anymore. Daryl wasn't even rude to her, he simply ignored her.

"Songbird?" Freddy said.

"What?" she asked.

"Are you listening?" he asked.

"Um," she began, trying desperately to figure out what he'd been saying.

He laughed and said, "Is this your way of asking to change the subject?"

"No," she said giving him a smile. "I'm sorry, I was just sort of zoned out I guess. Maybe it's time I went to bed."

"Sure," Freddy said, standing up and walking her over to the R.V. "Sorry I was so boring tonight."

"Oh, Freddy you weren't boring!" Songbird exclaimed, putting her hand on his arm. "I just have a lot on my mind. I'm really sorry!"

"I guess I can deal with it," he said. "Don't worry about it."

"All right," standing on her tiptoes, Songbird kissed Freddy on the cheek and said, "Good night."

"You too," Freddy said. "I mean good night."

They traveled for about a week and a half and, while the weather had been decent and the journey fairly easy since they stayed on the move, Daryl was relieved when Lucky signaled that they had arrived. Songbird looked at the tiny cabin in the middle of the field with her eyebrows raised. The only other thing in sight was a rock tower behind the cabin and the whole thing was surrounded by razor wire fences.

"Don't look like much," Daryl said as he got out of the truck and glanced around, wondering how the hell they were all gonna fit in that shack.

"Wait!" Lucky called. "They might've put some new mines out. You all had better stay put until we know for sure."

"Mines?" Songbird asked under her breath.

She didn't mean too, since she'd been doing such a good job of ignoring him, but she stepped closer to Daryl. He looked down at her, pleased that she still wanted him to keep her safe. He inched a bit closer, so that his arm brushed hers. Songbird shivered at the brief contact, every inch of her skin felt suddenly tingly.

They watched as the siblings walked down the path. The fact that they stayed in one piece told Daryl that at least the driveway was safe. He only questioned the sanity of the thing when that prick Freddy opened the mailbox and said, "Hey we're here!"

"The fuck?" Daryl asked Songbird.

She shrugged; she was hardly the authority on Frederick Mackensie.

"There's a camera." Lucky called back to the group.

She had just spoken when the door to the small cabin was jerked open.

"Here comes a happy family moment," Songbird muttered, surprisingly bitter.

Daryl glanced down at her again and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, drawing her head to his chest. She exhaled slowly, trying not to cry, trying to be happy for her newfound friends, who obviously had family left. He felt her start to shake and he rested his chin on the top of her head. It _was_ hard to watch the two of them greet their family; it had been hard for him the whole time actually. Not that Lucky and Freddy had the same kind of relationship he and Merle had, but still. It just reminded him of what he'd lost.

"You gonna be okay, darlin'?" Daryl asked in a low voice, so nobody else would overhear.

Songbird didn't know how to answer; she was afraid that if she lied and said yes, he'd let her go and she didn't want that. But if she said no, he might think she was a sissy loser.

"I don't know," she answered honestly, burrowing closer against him, not really caring if he noticed how much she needed his comfort.

He wrapped his other arm around her too, tugging until she stood in front of him and shuffling his feet apart so she stood between his legs. Songbird wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressed her face against his neck while she collected herself. He felt her shudder a few times, but then she took a deep breath and pulled back, giving him a shaky smile.

"That's my girl," Daryl said, reaching forward and brushing his knuckles down her cheek, wiping away the one tear that had escaped.

"Shall we?" she asked, gesturing toward Lucky.

"No point standing out here crying and being sorry," the man Lucky had called Daddy said, he was a tall man with shockingly bright red hair and he was wearing camo pants and a green tank top under a jacket with the sleeves cut out. "Invite your friends in, we'll swap war stories over dinner; besides, it's been a while since I've had a decent sparring partner."

Songbird noticed the familiar way Lucky's dad pulled the other man against him before they went into the house. While she was kind of surprised Lucky hadn't mentioned her father's choice of lifestyle, she'd seen stranger things in her lifetime. As she stepped forward she felt a tug on the hand Daryl was still holding and she glanced back quizzically. He looked completely frozen.

"What?" she asked.

"Did you…did he…they're…" he couldn't manage to say it.

"Are you talking about Lucky's dad's boyfriend?" Songbird asked.

"Oh my God," he said. "You woulda thought that she woulda mentioned that somewhere along the way!"

"Why?"

"Why the fuck not? If you're gonna ask someone to live with you then you should tell them this kind of thing! You should…"

"So, you always tell people about your parents sex lives?"

"My parents didn't have a sex life!" he said indignantly.

"Obviously they had one at some point!" Songbird said with a laugh. "You'll just have to get over it…or spend the winter in your truck."

"Fine," Daryl took a deep breath and walked toward the shack.

Songbird shook her head and followed him inside. The inside of the cabin was tiny. She felt briefly claustrophobic as they all crowded into the living room/kitchen area. Daryl stayed behind her, as far from Lucky's dad as he could get. There was absolutely nothing in the cabin, no furniture, no food, there was no air conditioning or heating unit. It didn't look like the fortress Lucky and Freddy had described. In fact, spending the winter in his truck was starting to look pretty good. He glanced down at Songbird; even she looked sort of worried. T-dog, Dale and Glenn were glancing around, focused on the floor. That reminded Daryl about the promise of an underground safe haven. Carol gave Rick a concerned glance and he put his hand on her shoulder briefly before turning back to address Lori, who seemed to be losing it.

"You need to calm down," Songbird heard him say. "You're gonna scare the kids."

"Calm down?" Lori hissed. "This is a one room cabin with a barbed wire fence! This isn't exactly a fortress, Rick! They promised us protection and…"

"Shhh," Shane said. "We don't have to stay here, Lori. Not if this is all there is."

"Well, what are you all standing around for?" Lucky's dad asked, pulling up a piece of the floor, leaving them all staring at a brushed nickel entrance under the wooden boards. "Please, do come in," he went on as he unlocked it.

Lucky laughed, but Daryl saw that the rest of the group seemed to be having the same flashback. Dr. Jenner had been pretty accommodating too, until he tried to fuckin' incinerate all of them.

"What's the matter?" Lucky asked.

Songbird wondered too. This seemed pretty close to perfect to her.

"We've recently had a, um, unpleasant experience with underground accommodations." Glenn answered after a moment and Songbird was surprised to hear his voice waver slightly.

"But you knew it was going to be underground." Freddy responded. "Why get cold feet now?"

Daryl was on the verge of having words with the little prick because of his mocking tone, but Lucky interrupted, "Leave them alone, Frederick. Whatever happened was obviously terrible. Give them some time to adjust."

"What happened?" Songbird asked, glancing back at Daryl; he'd never told her anything about it.

Shane was the one who answered. "We were nearly cooked alive by the CDC."

"What the hell were you doing at the CDC?" Lucky's dad asked in disbelief.

The entire group looked at Rick. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Songbird heard Shane snort and remembered Lori telling Rick that their plan to go West would be the "CDC all over again."

Daryl held back a laugh of his own when Lucky's dad shook his head and said, "That's almost as stupid as going to an Army base. No one in the government is going to be able to fix this shit."

James put his hand on the other man's shoulder and said, "Don't get all worked up about it here. We're trying to calm them down, love."

"Daddy has issues with, um, 'the man'" Lucky elaborated making air quotes. "But I'm sure he won't have any problems with you guys." she said, with a smile at Rick and Shane. "Oh, this is my dad, the Rooster." she continued as she linked her arm through his and leaned her head against him briefly. "And this is James, our, uh, other dad. Okay, you guys can work your stuff out; I'm going to go get dinner started." With that, she climbed down into the hole. "What do we have that can feed everybody?"

"Take a look in the freezers; I'm sure you'll find something." James answered her.

"Can I come?" Songbird asked as Lucky disappeared. "I could help."

It was quiet for a moment, just long enough for Daryl to hope that Lucky hadn't heard her.

Then, "Sure, come on down," Lucky called up the hatch.

Daryl made a grab for her that she sidestepped easily, disappearing down the hole after Lucky.

"Ah fuck," he muttered; now he'd have no choice but to go down there and get her. And possibly tie her to something so she couldn't do shit like this anymore. Of course now that he wanted to go after her, Rick decided it was time for introductions.

"Lucky has told us a lot about you," Rick began.

_"Not nearly enough,"_ Daryl thought.

"It's nice to see that someone is still alive out here. I think we were all concerned about what Lucky might find…"

"Hey! What about me?" Freddy asked indignantly.

"We figured you'd take it like a man," Daryl said. "Or at least I guess Rick thought that."

"Yeah, don't be a bitch Freddy," Rooster said with a laugh.

Daryl had to cover a smile quickly.

"Yeah, yeah," Freddy said. "I'm just glad I didn't have to help her through that, that's all."

"Right," Rick said, humoring him. "Anyway, my point was that we should introduce ourselves."

"Of course," James said. "My name is James and this is Francis, affectionately known as the Rooster." he hurried to finish when Rooster gave him a look promising retribution. James just smiled.

"Um, my name is Rick," Rick said, ignoring the byplay. "And this…"

"I'm Lori," Lori interrupted. "And this is my son, Carl."

"Our son," Rick said firmly, putting his hand on Carl's shoulder.

Rooster shook Rick's and Carl's hands, and gave Lori and appraising look. He shook hands with the rest as well, eventually making his way over to Daryl, who stood off to the side, hoping to fade into the background somehow. He didn't really know what to say or how to act. He was still nervous about the idea of being closed in underground again and…hell it wasn't like he ran into lots of openly gay male couples in the trailer park!

"It seems like we almost missed one, love," James said condescendingly, giving Daryl a glance that made it plain that he knew Daryl was trying to hide.

"We should wrap it up," Rooster said giving Daryl a hearty slap on the shoulder. "This one wants to go after that little girl who obviously has a thing for Lucky. So what's your name, little man?"

Daryl didn't know what to be more pissed off about. Being called "little man," having Songbird referred to as a little girl, or the insinuation that Songbird was attracted to Lucky. Of course, she _did_ spend a lot of time with Lucky, and she hadn't seemed shocked about the gay dads. No. That was just too much; there was no way. Not when she'd been so eager to fuck him!

"Maybe he doesn't have a name. From now on I'll just call him a bhobain." James said.

"Daryl!" Daryl said belatedly realizing that he hadn't answered the question. "My name is Daryl Dixon."

"Too late," James said with a grin and a wave of his hand.

"But…" Daryl began, still confused. James had a Scottish accent and whatever he'd called Daryl was in another language. What the hell could he be saying?

The general chaos of the entire group going down the ladder almost drowned out the sound of Rooster and James' laughter.

A/N: Freddy, Lucky, James, and Rooster are not my OC's. They belong to my best buddy, her fan fic about them (and some of Songbird) is on here, it's called One Last Dream and it's great and you should go read it and comment and stuff!

Lucy Freebird: I know! I would go nuts in a mall where I could have anything for free…apocalypse or no! Thanks for the compliment on the chapter and honestly…I like the jealous Daryl too. He just seems like that type to me.

Gurl3677: He certainly can be at times!

Belladonna925: Yay! Glad the dream seemed that realistic! I was going for it to be a surprise that it wasn't really happening, so I'm glad it came off that way. Daryl is just too stubborn for his own good sometimes and he's sort of paying the price for it with extremely realistic dreams.


	15. Chapter 14

Songbird went down the ladder quickly, hurrying to catch up with Lucky. She didn't want to make the mistake of getting to used Daryl again, he tended to come and go. Even though it had been nice of him to comfort her the way he had, she suspected that it was partly because he felt the same way.

"What's wrong?" Lucky asked, linking her arm through Songbirds.

Songbird was kind of surprised; Lucky wasn't a very physically demonstrative person.

"I'm really happy that your dad's are okay, and I'm really happy that you're happy. Anything I say now would just ruin that for you," Songbird admitted, not willing to rain on Lucky's parade.

At the end of the hall, Songbird gaped at a room filled with TV's and radio equipment. There was also a large map with different colored marks and symbols.

Lucky walked over and examined the map closely "I guess he has been keeping tabs on the outbreak." Songbird heard her say in a low voice.

"This validates everything I have ever thought about paranoid underground survivalists." Songbird said under her breath. She couldn't wait for the rest of the group to see this! Then maybe they'd realize she wasn't a total idiot. To her further excitement she realized there was a computer in the room. "Hey! They have an internet connection here! And electrical outlets!"

"Yep; I can't be sure if the internet is even still working, but we have a good supply of generators, so you can charge your precious laptop anytime you need." Lucky answered with a grin. "Come on, I'll show you my room then we should get to the kitchen."

They walked through the living room, and Songbird tried to keep from staring too obviously. She didn't know much about antiques, but she could tell that the furniture in the room was old in the good way. There was also a fireplace in one corner of the large, surprisingly airy given that it was underground, room. The rug in front of the fireplace made her eager for winter and a chance to sit there, maybe with one of the many books she saw on the wall sized bookcase. She gave up on trying to impress Lucky and ran over to the shelves. There were some great classics there. Some of them were obviously old and she couldn't resist smelling them, inhaling the wonderful aroma of old paper and great writing. She'd been trying to tone down her personality per Lucky's advice, but finding a leather bound volume of Sense and Sensibility made her perform an impromptu happy dance. To her relief, Lucky just laughed good naturedly, even pointing out a few of her own favorite books before they continued to her room.

Lucky's room was at the end of another long hallway.

"That leads to the tower," Lucky said pointing out a door on the left. "Maybe you'll be on watch duty with me."

"That would be nice," Songbird said, stepping into Lucky's room and whistling in astonishment. "This is amazing!" The large, rectangular room had actual theatre seats, which led up to a small stage and a huge flat screen television behind that.

"Yeah, I like it," Lucky said, opening another door to the right of the stage and throwing her packs on the floor beside the bed. The bed was great too; it was so tall that there was an actual step stool to get into it. "You have to fill your energy quota before you can use it though," she continued pointing to an exercise bike in a corner of the room; Songbird was briefly confused, but then she saw that the bike was hooked up to a generator.

"Even then, we usually have hour long rations of recreational electricity every day," Lucky explained.

"Wow, you guys run a tight ship here," Songbird was seriously impressed.

"It's all the Rooster's doing. Without him, I'm sure the whole world would fall apart." Lucky said with a dramatic sigh.

"Hasn't it already?" Songbird questioned with a grin.

"Touché," Lucky smiled back. "We should go ahead and get the food started," she went on, walking back into the hallway.

"Yeah, I guess," Songbird said, giving one last look at the theater room before closing the door and hurrying after Lucky.

Daryl looked around the room at the monitors and at the comfortable looking leather couches near the fireplace. It was a nice looking place, even if it was making him uncomfortable to be underground again. He wondered where the kitchen was.

"Come this way and we'll show you where you can sleep," James said to the group, leading them down a long hallway.

There were several doors along the corridor and James opened the two on the left while Rooster opened two on the right.

"These are the rooms that are empty," Rooster said. "You'll have to decide who to be in a room with; I'm not here to tell you that. You can go get your stuff and put it where you want it."

They went and got the essentials from their vehicles. Daryl stepped into the R.V. and got Songbird's laptop bag and her recently looted duffle bag filled with the clothes she'd gotten at the mall. It worked to his advantage that she was a neat person, all her stuff was in easy reach.

He carried it all down, back into one of the rooms on the left. Each room had three bunk beds and he noticed Rick, Lori, and Carl go into one and shut the door. He assumed that meant they didn't want to share. Daryl shook his head, wishing Rick would just give up on Lori. The group segregated, men in one room, women in the other. Daryl put Songbird's stuff with his, on the top bunk in the back of the room and then went back into the living room with the others. He was still thinking of how nice it had felt to hold her again, and how much better he'd sleep with her against him. He'd have to swallow a bit of his pride to do it, but he thought he'd ask her if she wanted to share the bunk with him. With T-dog, Glenn, Shane, and Dale in there too it wasn't like he could act on any of his temptation anyway.

It wasn't long until Songbird realized that she had dramatically overestimated her own abilities when it came to cooking.

"Hmm… there are about five chickens in the fridge, thank God; I really didn't want to have to wait for anything to defrost. How do you feel about fried chicken?" Lucky had asked, as she pulled the birds out and put them on the counter.

"I love it!" Songbird answered cheerfully; finally, enough food to get full on!

"Great! I'll start cutting them up; could you get a pot of water boiling so I can make some mashed potatoes to go with it?" at that point, Lucky had given her a huge pot and a grabbed a really big knife from a wooden block that sat on the counter top.

"Okay!" Songbird said, filling the huge silver pot with water and then walking to the oven, realizing to her dismay that there were lots of dials on those things. She chewed her lip for a moment and then said, "How do you turn the oven on, Lucky?"

"Well, the stove uses these knobs," Lucky pointed with her elbow as she pulled the chicken to pieces. Songbird guessed that was great information; she just still didn't know what the hell to do!

"Just set it to high so the water can boil, then you can start peeling the potatoes. They are in there." Lucky nodded toward the pantry.

"Oh, okay," Songbird set the pot on to the back burner, turned one of the knobs until the small arrow pointed at the word "High" and went to get the potatoes. She had no idea which knob was which and she just hoped that she had chosen the correct one.

She walked into the pantry, looking around at the room in awe. It was lower than the rest of the house and the temperature was a bit cooler. There was canned produce on shelves and sand filled boxes with other vegetables. There were tall racks of drinks, from soda to bottled water. She stood for a second or two, just looking at the wealth of food and feeling her stomach rumble. Maybe she could finally gain some weight again and look more grown up. She forced herself to focus and grabbing a basket of potatoes from the pantry, and walking back into the kitchen. She pulled one of her throwing knives and began slicing the peeling off the potatoes. She felt Lucky's eyes on her and wondered what she was doing wrong now. Cooking had always looked so easy! And, over a campfire it was!

"Um, you remember that we are inside now, right?" Lucky asked, finishing with the last chicken and washing her hands.

Then she handed Songbird a weird object from one of the drawers in the kitchen, and pulled the trash can over, picking up the potato peelings that had fallen onto the floor.

"Why don't you wash those first?"

Songbird hadn't thought about that. They came from inside the house, she assumed they'd be clean. She was feeling humiliated as she washed the remaining potatoes. She swallowed the last of her pride and said, "Lucky, what is this thing?" as she held up the object Lucky had given her.

"It's a vegetable peeler. You were wasting a lot of the good part with your knife." Lucky gave a sigh as she said it, and Songbird looked down, trying not to blush and failing miserably.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

Lucky didn't really answer her, but as the rest of the meal came together, Songbird noticed that Lucky gave the potatoes lots more praise than the misshapen lumps deserved. Songbird could tell she was being patronizing, but she'd take that over the exasperation from before.

Carol came into the room shortly after Songbird realized she was just in the way and sat down at the table, watching Lucky deal with fried chicken, creamed corn, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, and now a chocolate pudding. All with relative ease, which made Songbird feel worse.

"Is there anything I can help with?" Carol asked, and Songbird remembered how shy Carol usually was around strangers. Sophia was with her, holding onto her mom. Songbird gave her a smile.

"I think I have it all under control, but if you want, you can get the macaroni out of the oven for me." Lucky said.

Carol grabbed the oven mitts from the counter to pull the creamy macaroni and cheese off of the stove, sending Sophia to sit with Songbird. While it was nice to have company that also couldn't cook, Songbird felt like a total loser. If the way to a man's heart was through his stomach, she was shit out of luck for eternity. She put her chin in her hands and sighed.

The next person through the door was Rick, with Carl, who looked anxious.

"Sorry, I thought this was the way to the bathroom," he said, starting to leave.

"It is; it's right through there." Lucky said, pointing it out.

Carl made a break for it and Rick laughed as he said, "Seems like it was an emergency. How you ladies doing in here?"

"Just fine," Carol answered in that slightly nervous way she had around men, as she drained the potatoes Songbird had worked so hard on.

Songbird looked down to hide her smile. In her whole time with the group, Rick had never just stood around watching anybody cook!

"What are you making in here anyway?" he asked, leaning over Lucky's shoulder as she took the last batch of chicken out of the pan.

"Fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, some creamed corn and a chocolate cream pie for dessert. Hope you brought your appetite." Songbird heard her answer, in a breathy voice she'd never heard her use before. She would have bet money that her friend was blushing.

"How did you know fried chicken was my favorite?" Rick asked, pulling a drumstick from the plate and taking a bite as Carl came out of the bathroom. "Oh God! I haven't had chicken this good since my mom used to make it for me. Don't tell your mother I said that," he continued, looking at Carl with a sly grin.

Carl returned the smile and Songbird tried not to sigh. Lori didn't deserve a man like Rick by a long shot. Lucky just smiled, even though Songbird thought it looked a bit strained, as she turned away from Rick and began filling pie crusts.

Lori and Andrea walked in a few moments after that.

"Can we help?" Lori asked.

"Sure," Lucky said. "Why don't you start putting the food in bowls? Um, Songbird, can you set the table?"

"Yes!" She realized that her answer might have been overly enthusiastic when everyone glanced at her briefly before going on about their business. But, hey…it was nice to know that she certainly could do that and do it right!

She set out plates, utensils, and glasses for everyone, marveling over the fact that this place was equipped to serve dinner for 16 at a moment's notice.

Dale stuck his head into the room and said, "Are men welcome at this point?"

Andrea laughed and said, "Sure, it looks like everything is ready. Sit down."

Songbird glanced up as people started taking their places. Daryl was the last to walk in and he leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed, surveying the place. She knew he was trying not to look impressed, but she saw him glance at the heaping platter of golden fried chicken and swallow hard. She wished she could take credit for that. She didn't think that, "I set the table" would bring the same look to a man's eyes. Lucky leaned around her, putting several two liters and a few bottles of wine on the table. Songbird pulled out a chair and sat down. Daryl, who'd been waiting for that, walked over and sat beside her.

Everyone passed dishes around and filled their plates. Songbird placed a chicken breast on her plate and passed the platter. Daryl took two thighs and a breast, then reached over to Songbird's plate, dropped the thighs there and took her piece of chicken.

"You could use the fat," he said when she stared at him.

Under his eagle eye she made sure to put a pretty large helping of macaroni and cheese on the plate, as well as several spoonfuls of corn and a heaping dollop of mashed potatoes as well. He eyed the portions and then glanced at her, satisfied that she might finally end up with some meat on her bones. She glanced down at the plate, wondering if she really could eat all that. The past months of surviving on squirrel or the occasional deer divided among 12 other people made this simple meal look awfully gigantic. She shrugged, poured herself a glass of Pepsi and dug in.

Once Daryl saw her take a bite, he turned to his own food. God it looked good. He passed over the wine and poured a Pepsi of his own, making Songbird grin.

The group ate in almost total silence for a few minutes, awed by the variety of food. The silence was broken by Lucky, who said, "Well? What do you think?"

"It's great!" Glenn answered and the others chimed in with compliments of their own.

There was enough for seconds and the platters were passed again fairly soon. Songbird only took more macaroni and cheese, but Daryl figured that was good enough. He took more chicken and more potatoes, which for some reason made Songbird look at him with a sunny smile.

"You make the potatoes?" he asked, putting two and two together.

"In a manner of speaking, I made the potatoes possible," she said with dignity.

Lucky laughed from her place and said, "She also made eating possible by setting the table."

Songbird inclined her head graciously at the group and smiled at Lucky, happy she hadn't revealed exactly how inept she was when it came to domestic cooking. The group relaxed more and more and light chatter began to flow through the room. Andrea and Dale chatted with James and Freddy, Carl and Sophia made jokes and giggled, which made Songbird smile; Rick, Glenn, Lucky and Rooster talked about the video equipment. T-dog and Carol were chatting quietly and Songbird noticed his hand brush hers when he got a second helping of corn. Further intrigue there! She thought that T-dog and Carol would make a very cute couple and she resolved to keep her eye on that situation.

"Don't forget there's pie for dessert," Lucky announced.

"As if we could," Rick said, giving Lucky a smile.

Songbird knew that he was flirting with Lucky again, but it was also true that dessert was rare. Chocolate rarest of all; the Georgia heat had melted it much too fast to make hanging onto it practical. Songbird let her breath out and leaned back. There was no room for pie. No room at all. She hoped there would be leftovers later. She put her hand on her stomach and winced as she saw Lucky blush in response to Rick's comment and leave the room, saying that she was going to get into the shower.

James got up and started serving the pie. Songbird shook her head when he got to her and got a tiny slice of pie anyway. Daryl laughed, thinking that James had some good qualities. Songbird sighed and took a bite. The pie was great! She was definitely planning to have some more of that the next day when she had more room. The only person who seemed happier about the pie was Rick who had two pieces and looked like he was only leaving the rest for manners sake.

"So is everybody clear on where you're sleeping?" Rooster asked.

"I'm not," Songbird said. "I was in here. Um…cooking." She ignored Carol's knowing smile and continued, "Can I just sleep with Lucky?"

She jumped when Daryl's chair scraped loudly over the hardwood floor and turned to see him staring at her in agitated disbelief.

"What?" she asked, glancing around the table to find that everybody was suddenly looking her way. "What?" she repeated.

"I think that would be Lucky's decision," James said with a smile. "I mean who ends up in our kid's beds is really up to them."

"No! I didn't mean…I mean it looks comfortable! Her bed I mean. I was just…" she felt more and more embarrassed the longer everyone stared. "You don't know! You haven't seen it! It's awesome!"

"It?" Shane questioned meaningfully, wriggling his eyebrows.

"That's not what I meant you sicko! Nobody's seen "it," she told me so!" Songbird blushed when she realized what she'd said. Lucky was going to be furious with her.

"That's nice to know," James said. "I'm proud of her restraint!"

Songbird dropped her face into her hand.

"See?" Freddy said. "It helps."

"You know what?" Songbird looked at her palm. "It really does! Anyway, what I meant was her room is great. Can I show them her room?" she asked James.

"Why are you asking me?" James asked.

"You're her dad! Right? It's your house. I've totally humiliated myself and I'm looking to distract everybody?" she finished honestly.

"Yeah, I guess it's been a while since everyone's been to the movies," Rooster said.

Daryl wondered just what the hell that had to do with anything.

"So, come on and I'll show you!" Songbird exclaimed, jumping up and leading everyone out of the room.

When they got to Lucky's theater room Songbird felt the focus shift off of her and sighed in relief. Glenn looked positively thrilled at seeing the game consoles and the stacks of games. While the others were examining the vast movie collection Songbird noticed the karaoke machine and walked over to it, wondering if Lucky would let her play with it later.

Lucky walked in, a fluffy pink towel wrapped around her.

"I see you guys found my room," Lucky said dryly.

"I thought your hair was blue," Songbird said in surprise.

"Yeah that was my natural color," Lucky answered. "I just dyed it auburn to confuse you all."

Songbird hurried after Lucky as she went back into her room.

"I have to tell you something," Songbird said.

"I'm kind of naked here," Lucky said. "Can it wait until I'm fully clothed?"

"Um…" Songbird chewed her lip as Lucky disappeared into her closet. Then, figuring it would be easier to tell her when they weren't face-to-face, she said, "The group may now be under the impression that you're a…um…they sort of might think that you're…they…"

"Spit it out!" Lucky called from inside the closet.

"A lesbian," Songbird answered. "They might think you're a lesbian. And a virgin."

"I am a virgin…wait! What?"

"I'm so sorry!" Songbird said, walking into the closet, hoping Lucky was dressed.

"Why are _you_ sorry?" Lucky asked.

"Um…it may have been me that gave them that impression…the virgin thing. Shane tricked me! But the lesbian thing was all your dad!" Songbird hurriedly explained.

"Why…why…no. Never mind. I don't want to know."

"Are you mad at me?" Songbird asked pitifully.

"No, I'm just concerned with your conversational skills. I was gone for 30 minutes and my whole reputation went to hell!" Lucky said.

"I told you Shane tricked me," Songbird answered. "He's like that. Tricky."

Lucky shook her head and said, "What's done is done. Let me just go usher everyone out of my room so I can get some sleep."

As they came out of the closet, Shane poked his head into Lucky's room, grinned and said, "It's nice to see you coming out of the closet together!"

"Fuck you, Shane," Lucky said, exasperation in her voice. "And get out of my room."

He gave them one last smirk and turned around to leave. They followed him out into the theater room.

"I kinda want to sleep now…so if you guys wouldn't mind…good night," she said with a wave of her hand.

"Wait!" Songbird said. "I don't know where to sleep because I was with you when your dads showed everyone else…"

"Yes," Lucky cut in. "Yes, just go."

"Yay!" Songbird said, clapping her hands. "Oh, I have to go get my stuff though."

"I got it," Daryl answered.

"Oh! Thanks," she was really surprised. "Where is it?"

"I'll show you," he said, walking down the hall.

He couldn't decide what to tell her. He wasn't going to look like a total fool and ask her now. Not when it seemed obvious that she had somewhere she'd rather be. Hell, maybe she was over him. Relationships came and went at that age, didn't they? That hurt deep in the pit of his stomach. He knew it wasn't fair, but he wanted her to want him just as much as he wanted her, even if he never planned to do anything about it.

She followed him into a room filled with bunk beds and back to the last bunk. He pointed upwards and she climbed nimbly up the ladder to the top bunk. Her laptop bag and duffle bag were there next to the pile of Daryl's stuff. She wondered why he'd done that instead of just bringing it to her.

"Hey Daryl?" she asked.

"Yeah?"

"Did you, um, want me to sleep with you?" she asked hopefully.

"Seems like you already decided where you're sleeping," he answered, irritated that he wasn't going to get to and that she saw through him that fast. "Better get your stuff and go on."

"Well fine then," Songbird said huffily. "I will."

She grabbed her things and headed down the ladder.

"Good night," she called over her shoulder.

"Good night," he answered as he made the split second decision to make use of the shower James had pointed out.

He dug through the pile of miscellaneous stuff at the foot of his bunk until he came up with a clean shirt and the pajama pants he'd looted since he still refused to wear underwear. He also got the plastic bag he'd put his shower stuff in and went down the hall. To his shock, the bathroom was free. Daryl stepped in quickly and locked the door. He undressed as he let the water warm up and then stepped into the shower, resolved to shower quickly. That resolve went down the drain as the warmth relaxed his muscles. Daryl braced his hands on the wall and let the heat soak into his tense shoulders and back.

After a few long moments of pure heaven, he forced himself to remember that this was supposed to be a quick shower and he popped his shower gel open. He'd lucked out at Bath and Body Works, ending up with something he really liked the smell of. It was called Oak, and it really did have kind of a woodsy smell, like cedar. And a whole bunch of other shit, since it was for guys who cared about that kind of thing, but all in all he liked it. He soaped up quickly and then washed his hair and face. He supposed it was time to shave again. He sighed, turned the shower off and dried off, pulling his pajama pants on and digging through the bag for the razor Rick had made him steal and some shaving cream. He wiped the steam from the mirror and looked at himself.

It had been a while since he'd had access to a mirror and time to study his reflection. He hadn't realized it had been quite that long since he'd shaved. He started slowly, trying to decide how much he wanted to get rid of. With a shrug he decided to take it all off, except the mustache that is. When he was done, he wiped his face with the towel and looked into the mirror again. He discovered that he looked as tired as he felt. He pulled his shirt on and opened the door, not surprised to find that a line had formed outside the bathroom.

"Took you long enough," Shane said. "What happened?"

"What do you mean what happened?" Daryl asked.

"To your face," Shane elaborated.

"Screw you," Daryl said. "I shaved it."

"Hoping to get the Songbird back in your nest?" Shane smirked.

"Ah, screw you twice," Daryl responded, walking away, too tired to deal with that prick.

He climbed back up on the bunk, and dropped most of his stuff to the floor below, figuring he'd straighten it all out in the morning. He rearranged his pillows as he got under the blankets. It was really dark; which wasn't surprising considering they were underground. His heart began to pound when he thought about that and he inched back until his shoulders touched the wall, wrapping his arms around the extra pillow and trying not to hyperventilate. God, he wanted Songbird there, instead of down a fuckin' mile of hallway where he couldn't make sure she was okay. He closed his eyes, concentrated on breathing and eventually managed to sleep.

Songbird had gone back to Lucky's room to find her already asleep, so she'd walked on into the bathroom. It was nice; it was tiled in white and several shades of blue with all the usual facilities. She grinned when she saw the Hello Kitty shower curtain. It seemed Lucky wasn't as tough as she wanted to appear. Songbird pulled her clothes off and unbraided her hair while the water heated up. As she showered she thought how nice it was to be underneath hot water again, she could feel her pores opening up, making her feel clean for the first time in months. She washed her hair twice and shaved before getting out. She dried off, lotion-ed up, and put on her pajamas. Then she dried her hair and went and crawled into the huge bed. Her last thought before falling asleep was that Daryl frustrated her endlessly. She would rather have shared that tiny bunk with him, then this huge bed with Lucky. He never freakin' gave her what she wanted!

_A/N: As I say on every chapter for right now, OC's Lucky, Freddy, James, and Rooster do not belong to me. They belong to the author of One Last Dream (her story features Songbird and "my" Daryl) great story, please check it out and let her know I sent you!

Gurl3677: LOL Caveman style. That cracked me up! Daryl does sort of seem like the type doesn't he? And all I can say to that is…yum!

Lucy Freebird: Thanks! And with less time spent on Walkers…there will be time for other things for sure ;)

Belladonna925: a bhobain means rascal. It's a Scottish endearment traditionally used for very young boys. Just James way of putting Daryl in his place and freaking him right the heck out at the same time. And, yeah James will be taking every opportunity presented to make Daryl extremely uncomfortable, that's how he gets his kicks (well…one of the ways) I find uncomfortable Daryl funny as well!


	16. Chapter 15

Songbird woke up in a less frustrated mood, even though she'd dreamed about Daryl all night long. Weird dreams, in which he refused to let her eat chocolate pie. She shook her head, dressed quickly in jeans and a long sleeved peasant shirt and headed into the kitchen. Speaking of pie…now that there was room, she was planning to have that for breakfast!

"Morning!" she said cheerfully. "Where's the pie?"

"What?" Lucky asked.

"The pie," Songbird said. "I didn't have room for any last night and I really, really want some now."

"Rick ate it," Lucky stated.

"All of it?" Songbird looked shocked. "But…"

"It was really good," Rick said.

"I know!" Songbird answered. "And I wanted more than this much!" She held her fingers up about an inch apart. "You had two freakin' slices at dinner!"

Daryl walked in when he heard her raised voice.

"What's goin' on?" he asked sleepily.

"Rick ate all the pie!" she answered.

She turned as she spoke and her mouth dropped open when she caught her first glimpse of Daryl.

"What did you do?" she asked in dismay.

"I didn't touch the pie," he began, and then realized what she meant. "Oh. I shaved."

"Why?" Songbird asked, as if the very idea was incomprehensible.

"Why the hell not?" he said defensively. "It don't look bad."

She realized that she couldn't explain why she preferred him with a beard; she couldn't tell him that she liked the scrape of it across her skin. She just shrugged.

"I never said you didn't look good," she said.

He let out his breath slowly, relieved that at least she still thought he was good looking.

"The point is…" Songbird continued, "There's no pie. I wanted that pie all night long and he just…stole it!"

"Sure, _pie_ is what you wanted all night long," Lucky muttered.

"What?" Songbird asked.

"You talk in your sleep," Lucky said bluntly. "And you sure as hell weren't talking about pie last night."

Daryl raised his eyebrows when Lucky fixed him with a look before she went back to taking biscuits from the oven. He looked at Songbird, who had blushed all the way to the roots of her hair and taken a seat at the table.

"Was too," she muttered. "Dreams can be about more than one thing. Never give me what I freakin' want…make me talk in my sleep."

Before Daryl could ask what the hell exactly she'd been dreaming about, Lucky cut in saying, "Jeez! It was just pie!"

"Just pie?" Rick asked, making Daryl glance twice at him. He'd never heard that tone in Rick's voice before.

He was further surprised when Lucky was the one blushing this time as she said, "Oh shut up Rick!"

Songbird started to ask exactly what had gone down involving her pie, her friend, and the cop, but the rest of the group started coming into the kitchen in various stages of wakefulness and she decided to wait. Lucky was putting scrambled eggs and biscuits on the table and Songbird reached forward, claiming two biscuits for her own, shooting Rick a mock territorial glance and watching him smile in return.

Daryl poured coffee and sat down, it was really too early for debates about pie and flirting, between him and Songbird or Rick and Lucky. He took a sip and claimed a biscuit as the plate went by.

Songbird buttered both of hers and then said, "Hey Lucky? Do you guys have molasses?"

"Yeah," Lucky answered, "In the pantry."

Songbird hopped up and brought it back, drenching both buttered biscuits in it and grabbing a fork so she wouldn't get her fingers all sticky. Daryl tapped her arm and held his hand out and she handed him the jar. He did the same thing and took a bite. It reminded him of home. Lucky was really starting to grow on him with all this southern cooking.

As he chewed, he listened to Lucky asking her dad about the watch schedule.

"I thought a rotating schedule would work, so no one has to always be on night duty or day duty. You don't mind showing everybody the ropes around here do you? It would mean you'd have duty everyday for a while, but that would be good for you." Rooster finished up, winking at his kids.

"Sure," they agreed together.

"Very good." Rooster said with a nod. "Lucille, why don't you give everyone the grand tour? Freddy, you can have first watch with me this morning."

Lucky agreed to that as well and James told her that while he'd already milked and gotten the eggs, the animals needed to be fed and the milk tank needed to be cleaned.

They all finished their breakfast, Daryl had more coffee so that he could face the outside world again, and Lucky started clearing the dishes. Songbird helped, because she was good at that part. When they were nearly done, Lucky said she was going to get dressed and left Songbird to finish rinsing the dishes.

"Want some help?" Andrea asked.

"Nah," Songbird said. "But don't go! Stay and gossip!"

"Gossip?" Andrea questioned with a smile. "About what?"

"Did you see the way Rick was hitting on Lucky?" she asked with a grin. "It's so cute!"

"When?" Andrea asked. "When was he hitting on her?"

"Try every time they talk! He's all…" Songbird deepened her voice and put on a deeper Southern accent, "Oh God this chicken. This chicken is the best I've ever had!" and stuff."

Andrea laughed and Songbird continued, "No seriously! It was like he was talking about more than just the chicken, you know? And then…there was the whole pie thing! The pie!"

"That was great pie," Andrea said with a nod.

"I know! And he took it! Andrea, Rick was all up in my pie!"

Andrea burst out laughing and said, "Excuse me?" She thought it was cute that Songbird had no idea of the double entendre of her words.

"He ate it all! But that's not the point, he was like, "Just pie?" and I could tell that he meant something by it. He had this look in his eyes…and she blushed. I mean she blushed like I blush! So I think she's into him too…"

Andrea cleared her throat and Songbird turned to face the pantry where Lori stood, staring at her, wide eyed.

"Oh. Um, hi," Songbird said weakly.

"I was just putting the molasses away," Lori said icily.

"Thanks," Songbird squeaked.

"If you'll excuse me," Lori continued as she walked out of the room.

"Well, maybe I should just never say anything else again in my entire life," Songbird said dramatically. "At least nothing about Lucky."

Andrea patted Songbird's shoulder and said, "I'm sure everything will work out. I've got to go get dressed. I'll see you back in the theater room."

Songbird finished up in the kitchen and walked into Lucky's room. She sat in one of the theatre seats contemplating her terrible luck. How long had Lori been in the freakin' pantry anyway? The rest of the group trickled in one by one, with the exception of Lori and Shane who came in together last of all. To her surprise Rick sat down beside her.

"So," he said. "I've been thinking about it, and I just can't figure out how Daryl and Lucky's pie have anything to do with each other."

"I didn't know they did," Songbird said. "What do you mean?"

"You said this morning that you were dreaming about pie, but last night Lucky told me that you mentioned Daryl a time or two."

"She said what?" Songbird asked indignantly. Then she realized exactly what he'd said and repeated, "Lucky told you _last night_? What were you doing talking to her? She was asleep when I went to bed."

"The volume of your requests woke her up," Rick answered with a chuckle.

"It wasn't what you're thinking," she said with a blush. "It did involve Daryl and it did involve pie. But not in a weird way!"

"What the hell are you talkin' about?" Daryl asked, frustrated that he couldn't quite hear their conversation over all the other noise in the room.

Songbird was saved from having to explain when Lucky stepped out into the room.

"Took you long enough." Shane smirked. "We didn't think you'd have a problem, already being out of the closet and all."

Songbird started to tell Shane to go to hell, but Rick spoke up surprising everyone as he said, "Well, from my experience I can guarantee that is not the case."

Songbird turned to look at Andrea meaningfully to see her, Carol, Shane, and Dale staring at Rick in shock. Lori was glaring daggers at Lucky; T-dog and Glenn exchanged glances and then nodded approvingly at one another. Daryl, who was finally awake enough to deal with the gossip and unspoken innuendos of a large group, realized that Rick apparently had a thing for Lucky.

"And what "experience" would that be?" Lori asked sharply.

"I don't ask you about your experiences," Rick said, sounding irritated.

"Okay, enough awkwardness for one morning," Lucky said. "Shall we go?"

"Yes," Songbird jumped up, hoping nobody would tell Lucky what she'd said in the kitchen before she got a chance to own up herself.

She followed Lucky out of the room and across the hall.

"I am going to assume you guys are pretty familiar with the living quarters of the compound, so let's get started with the tower."

She led them into a round room with a spiral staircase. There were also three other doors.

"This is the center of our property. Up there is where you will be keeping watch," she pointed up the stairs, walking across the room and opening one of the doors as she continued, "We keep our livestock out here. We usually keep about thirty chickens, fifteen goats and five cows at a time."

"Where are your horses?" Songbird asked, looking around eagerly.

"We don't have any," Lucky answered.

"But, it's a farm," Songbird said, feeling extremely disappointed. She'd thought a farm would have horses. Didn't they all?

"We don't have huge acres for them to plough and they take up space and food." Lucky explained. "Sorry."

"Meh," Songbird thought of all the ways she'd trashed Lucky's reputation in the twenty-four hours and shrugged magnanimously. "I forgive you."

Lucky laughed and walked on, over to a silo where she filled a wheel barrow with what Songbird assumed was cow food. Songbird was getting bored, so she glanced around at the rest of the horse-less farm. It was really nice. She wandered around a bit, looking at the barn, and the goats, which Sophia was really excited about. Lucky even let the girl hold one of the baby goats, which looked adorable; she planned to ask if she could hold one once her curiosity was satisfied. The sun sparkled off of a river in the distance and she walked down to it.

Daryl started to go after her, not wanting to let her out of his sight, but then he saw Lori head into the barn where Lucky had gone. Then Rick went after Lori. Daryl wavered briefly, undecided. Then he decided that if a stone wall and a razor wire fence around a compound built by paranoid underground survivalists wasn't enough to keep one person safe for a few minutes then nothing would. He walked over to the barn and leaned against the door, out of sight of Lucky and Lori. Rick gave Daryl a look that clearly stated that he should go the fuck away. Daryl gave him a grin that clearly stated that Rick couldn't make him.

He could hear Lori's voice from inside the barn; it was high pitched with irritation. "Songbird told me about you and my husband." Daryl wondered what in the world Songbird had said now. He shook his head and went on eavesdropping "I don't really appreciate it; I find it disrespectful."

"As opposed to what? The way you treat him?" Lucky answered. "Besides, I doubt Songbird knows anything about me and your husband."

Daryl noticed that Rick seemed taken aback by Lucky's response. He was pretty surprised too, and he figured with Lucky answering so reasonably, he was out a catfight.

"How I treat him is none of your concern." Lori answered, sounding furious.

"No it isn't," Lucky went on, "but he deserves better. You can't deny that, and you probably feel a little guilty about it, otherwise you wouldn't be taking out on me for wanting to make him happy."

Rick looked thrilled for a few moments and then Lucky came out of the barn.

"Did you hear that?" she asked, sounding nervous for the first time.

Daryl hoped Rick wouldn't blow it; he really wanted Lori to get what was coming to her.

"I did," Rick answered. "Did you mean it?"

"I did," was all Lucky had time to say before Lori followed her out and got between them.

"We need to talk," she said to Rick.

Daryl sighed and looked up at the sky briefly; hoping Rick would just tell her to fuck off. Instead, Rick gave Lucky a meaningful look before turning to his wife.

"Yes, we do," he said, walking away with her.

Dumb bastard, Daryl thought with another sigh. He was planning to go find Songbird when he heard Lucky speak again.

"You can come out now Daryl."

Ah fuck.

"I wasn't hidin'," Daryl clarified, wondering if she was gonna chew him out.

"Meh," Lucky said with a shrug. "What do you think?"

"About what?" He asked, not wanting to give anything away. Maybe she didn't know he'd been standing there the whole time.

"I'm not just imagining it, right?" she questioned, sounding hopeful, but kind of sad at the same time. "He likes me too?"

"If he doesn't he should," Daryl answered, wanting to make her feel better.

He didn't expect to make her feel so much better that she would throw herself into his arms. Or maybe he'd made her feel worse. He wasn't really sure. He wondered if she was going to cry. He also wasn't exactly sure what she wanted him to do, so he just patted her on the back and cleared his throat, trying to think of something to say. Before he could get a sentence together, Lucky pulled away.

"Hey," Songbird said.

Daryl turned around and all his relief at Lucky's lack of crying disappeared when he saw Songbird's lower lip trembling as her dark eyes filled with tears.

"Songbird, what the fuck?" Lucky asked.

"Nothing. Nothing the fuck. I'm just happy you're happy, and that you're getting along so well. Because you're touching and that's what people do when they get along right? I'm just so happy…happy that you're touching." Her voice broke on the last word.

Lucky and Daryl glanced at each other.

"That's all yours," Lucky said dismissively. "I'm going to go round the group up for the rest of the tour."

Songbird sniffled, wiping her nose on the sleeve of her shirt.

"What's the matter?" Daryl asked.

"I said nothing!" she exclaimed, tears spilling down her cheeks. "It's just…you never hug anybody but me!"

"Would it help?" he asked, stepping closer and pulling her to him.

"No," she mumbled, wrapping her arms around him and snuggling against his chest, inhaling the scent of his new soap and the underlying scent that was just Daryl. She was a pretty big fan of both.

She felt like an idiot for crying like that, but really, why wouldn't he want Lucky over her? Lucky was closer to his age and she didn't look like she'd nearly starved to death. And she was smart and funny…and she realized now that Daryl hadn't been holding Lucky nearly the same way he held her now. He'd just sort of patted Lucky's back, whereas he had both arms around her, holding her close against him.

She took a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry."

"Why?" he asked.

Before she could answer, they heard Lucky calling everyone to finish the tour and she pulled back, wiping her face on her sleeve again.

"Okay now?" Daryl asked, tilting her chin so that he could see her face. Her cheeks were pinker than normal and her eyes were a little red, but other than that, she looked okay.

She shrugged and nodded; he put his arm around her shoulders, and led her over to Lucky.

"What _were_ you doing?" she asked just before they got in hearing distance of the group.

"She hugged me," he said with a shrug. "She had a run-in with Lori and she was upset…or something. I didn't ask."

"Well, that's nice," Songbird said. "I mean not she and Lori fought, but that…you know…"

"I know," he said, keeping his arm around her because it felt nice to walk with her again; maybe he'd ask her tonight if she wanted to sleep with him again.

They walked back down the hallway and eventually came to another door, which Lucky opened, leading them back out to the gardens. Songbird knew that she was going to get lost in this place a lot. She saw James working in the garden and he waved them over.

"You wouldn't mind taking these in on your way back, would you?" He asked, pointing at a group of baskets filled with produce. "I've still got a lot of work to do out here."

"Sure!" Lucky answered, returning his smile. "Just don't work to hard out here."

"Don't worry; your father has been keeping tabs on me," James held up a walkie-talkie as he reassured Lucky.

"What's that?" Songbird asked after a moment of looking around the garden.

Daryl bit his lip; he'd wondered if she'd noticed that.

"This is New York Diesel," James answered. "It helps with the Rooster's, um, PTSD."

"It's pot, Songbird," Lucky said, and Daryl could tell by the way she watched Songbird's face that she wondered what Songbird would say.

"What's pot, mom?" Carl asked.

"It's a medicine, something no one should touch unless a doctor tells them to take it." James answered.

Daryl figured that was as good an explanation as any.

"But that isn't what pot looks like." Songbird said. "I thought it was…you know, long and white."

Daryl turned, resting his chin on the top of her head and trying desperately not to laugh. He didn't entirely succeed.

"What?" she asked, confused by the laughter in everyone's eyes. "That's the only kind of pot I've ever seen."

"Just goes to show that this world was falling to pieces before this disaster ever hit." James said with a disappointed shake of his head. "Kids not even knowing what pot looks like."

"Joints," Lucky said.

"What about them?"

"That's what you were thinking of, marijuana already rolled into smoke-able form," Lucky explained.

"Oh, that makes sense," Songbird felt like a total idiot, but she'd really only smoked twice before and she hadn't really been thinking about where it came from!

Lucky wandered away after pulling a few leaves from one of the mint plants and popping them into her mouth. Songbird did the same thing and chewed thoughtfully.

"Hey this is cool!" she exclaimed to Daryl. "I mean, it really is!"

"Is that mint?" he asked. "Because if it's mint then I would think…"

"You tell me," Songbird said with a smile, putting a mint leaf between his lips.

He chewed briefly and said, "Yep." It wasn't the best comment, but it had felt nice to have her fingers brush his lips like that. He figured he wasn't going to make it much longer without asking her to get back in bed with him.

She was going to comment further but she went quiet when she heard Lori's raised voice. She and Rick were standing behind some corn stalks. Daryl looked at Songbird and raised his eyebrow. She nodded and they walked quietly into the general vicinity, looking interestedly at the squash plants.

"How long has it been going on, Rick?" Lori asked, her arms tightly crossed and her voice strained.

"How long has what been going on?" Rick asked, sounding tired.

"You and…and Lucky," Lori spat out Lucky's name as if it tasted bad.

"What about me and Lucky?" he asked.

"You didn't even wait a whole day! You just ran off into her arms right away? What the fuck, Rick?"

"You didn't even wait until our marriage was over, Lori! Don't try to make me look like the bad guy! I almost died getting back to you and Carl; I risked my life again and again thinking that it would all be worth it if I could just see you one more time! How soon? How soon after you thought I was dead were you fucking him?"

"What was I supposed to do? You were dead! Did you want me to wait forever?" Lori asked, avoiding the question that Songbird already knew the answer to.

Daryl just barely held back a snort of disgust and he saw Songbird shake her head.

"I guess I have my answer," Rick said, sounding defeated. "Not long at all. You've made it clear that what you do isn't my concern so all I want is for you to back off and give me a chance to find happiness where I can. But I'm not going to let you take Carl or…"

"Actually," Lori cut in, "I was thinking Carl could sleep in the guy's room with you."

"I see," Rick said. "That's fine with me."

Rick walked away, toward Lucky. Daryl and Songbird didn't move fast enough to get away from Lori, who came straight toward them.

"So, squash," Songbird said, her voice sounding high pitched to her own ears. "Weird name. Right? Do you know why they call it that Daryl? Because I don't know…Oh! Lori! Hi!"

"Were you listening?" Lori asked angrily.

"Well…"Songbird decided to try a bold, grown-upish move. "It seems like a common problem around here. You'd know right? Maybe it's something in the water…"

Lori walked away. Daryl looked down at Songbird in confusion; even though he was proud of her for standing up for herself, he had no idea what she was talking about.

"She was eavesdropping on me this morning," Songbird explained. "I was telling Andrea that I think Rick has a thing for Lucky."

"She's sure got one for him," Daryl answered.

Songbird's eyes lit up as he told her what he'd overheard at the barn.

"Maybe they'll get together," she said. "That would be nice. Rick deserves a nice girl." And nobody should have to die a virgin, she finished in her head. She didn't say it aloud because she was afraid to disturb the balance; it was a nice day, sunny with a brisk breeze. The group looked happy, she was still pleasantly full from breakfast, and Daryl still had his arm around her shoulders. She leaned her head against his chest briefly and then said, "Maybe we should catch up with everyone else."

"Sure," he said, steering her back that way.

They stopped several times, looking at the variety of food available in the garden.

"Why didn't everybody have one of these things?" Songbird asked.

"No money," Daryl answered, "and you know everybody around thought these guys were crazy, paranoid freaks."

"Yeah," she looked over at James, who was holding a praying mantis out to the kids and grinning at their reactions. "I like them though."

Daryl shrugged.

"You don't?" she asked in surprise. "Are you still freaked out by…"

"A little," he admitted. "I can't help it!" he continued when she gave him a look of disbelief. "I don't know what to say to them!"

"You'll figure it out," she said confidently, squeezing his arm and reaching out, picking a cherry tomato and popping it into her mouth.

He tugged her braid, "Gimme one of those."

She did and he chewed, feeling pretty good.

They explored the rest of the place leisurely, not talking much really. Daryl was just enjoying the fact that Freddy wasn't there to distract Songbird's attention. He decided that he'd been crazy to stay away from her all this time. He liked her, she liked him…and hell the world had nearly ended. What was the point in trying to act like things were normal? He doubted Rick would be been making such a bold play for Lucky if there were still marriage counselors or divorce lawyers around. And didn't Rick look happier around her than he'd ever looked with his wife? Daryl realized that he felt better now that Songbird was next to him. He wondered exactly how he was going to explain why he'd avoided her. Sometimes he wasn't even exactly sure.

"Hey where'd Lucky go?" Songbird asked after a while.

"I don't know," Daryl answered, looking around the area. Some of the group was still outside, but others had gone back in.

T-Dog, Carol, and Sophia were down near the pond, Dale and Andrea were examining a windmill, Lori and Shane were noticeably absent as were Rick and Lucky. Glenn was still chatting with James, gesturing at the pot, which made Daryl grin.

"Wanna go see where they've got to?" he asked.

"Sure," she answered.

They walked inside, going past the bedrooms pretty quickly.

"If they're in there, it's more than we wanna know about," Daryl said in an undertone.

Songbird laughed. They checked the living area and the kitchen.

There was a juice box on the kitchen counter; Songbird poked the juice box with her index finger and said, "Still cold. She's been here recently."

Daryl laughed and shook his head at her mock-serious tone as he said, "Well, darlin' we did just see 'em about 30 minutes ago."

"Elementary, my dear Dixon," she quipped. "Now, if I were a paranoid underground survivalist where would I go?"

They walked on until they got a room they'd never seen before. Songbird walked jauntily through the open door and then froze so quickly that Daryl ran into her. Lucky and Rick stood near a wall underneath a poster of Lucky dressed in a skimpy sheriffs outfit, holding a gun and tipping a sheriffs hat with a saucy grin. Rick's arms were around Lucky and he was kissing down her neck. Lucky's eyes were closed and she had her arms around Rick's shoulders.

Daryl took a step back, intending to just ease out of the room, but Songbird, who was shocked at actually seeing them in action, gasped out, "I'm so sorry!"

Lucky and Rick jumped apart, Lucky blushing like crazy.

"What the fuck, Songbird?" Lucky asked, glaring at Songbird.

It made Songbird nervous when people gave her dirty looks so she began to ramble, "I was looking for you. If I'd known you were doing this, I wouldn't have looked for you."

Lucky straightened; Rick kept his arm around her waist, so at least Songbird hadn't ruined the whole thing…maybe.

"So, uh, these posters," Daryl said, glancing around the room at Lucky dressed in several different get ups, from the sheriff outfit, to what looked like a belly dancing outfit, flourishing weapons of different varieties in every photo.

"What about them?" Rick asked pointedly.

"They're…uh they're interesting," he said, kind of amused at the territorial expression on Rick's face, but not really wanting to piss him off at the same time.

"Interesting how?" Songbird asked, crossing her arms as she noticed his gaze fall on a picture on the closest wall, one of Lucky wielding a tomahawk and wearing a skimpy Native American outfit that mostly consisted of beads and war paint. There was a skimpy skirt and a headdress, but that didn't make Songbird feel better.

"Well, just…because she doesn't seem like…you know because she's kind of innocent. So it makes it more…uh," Daryl stopped talking when Rick, Songbird, and Lucky all leveled icy stares on him. "Never mind. I'll just look at the floor if it makes you feel better."

Rick looked like he had more to say on the subject but Glenn and James walked into the room just then. Glenn noticed the posters immediately and said, "Wow! Lucky, that's really hot!"

Daryl raised his eyebrows at Rick and grinned.

"She ought to be wearing more clothes," Rick said stiffly, seemingly addressing James, who just gave a shrug.

"I've worn way tinier outfits to work," Songbird answered,

Daryl's mouth dropped open and now Rick shot him a mocking glance.

Glenn looked from the posters of Lucky to Songbird and back again as he said, "What did you do?"

Songbird only shrugged and walked over to the weapons racks, pretending to be very interested in a really big gun of some kind. Lucky followed her and said, "I see you like pirate weapons. What does that say about you?"

"Really? I thought pirates had cannons and swords," Songbird responded, glad that Lucky was still talking to her.

"They did, but they had these too," Lucky explained. "It's called a blunderbuss by the way."

"Cool," Songbird said.

"She has a picture with the blunderbuss," James offered. "She's in a pirate outfit."

Glenn walked over to look at the picture, but Rick beat him to it, walking over and removing it from the wall.

"Those are art," James said as Rick collected the rest of the posters.

"Yeah!" Glenn said. "Great art!"

"Well," Rick gave Lucky a look. "They're my art now."

Daryl laughed and shook his head, even though he knew he'd do the same thing if there were pictures like that of Songbird. He was now desperate to figure out what she'd done before this whole apocalypse. He was glad that their twenty questions game had ruled out hooker.

"Well, it's about lunchtime," James said. "Why don't you get your brother and your dad?"

"I'll just relieve them," Lucky said, heading out.

"You're supposed to take someone with you," James said.

"I'll go," Rick volunteered.

"Or you could go," James said, pointing at Dale who had just walked in.

"Sure," Dale agreed, "I'm ready to pull my weight around here."

"So then, catch you guys later," Lucky said.

"Whatcha gonna do with those?" Daryl asked, as the group dispersed.

"Here," Rick said, handing him a stack, purposely leaving the top one face down, "Help me carry them."

Daryl took them down the hall; Rick went into the room where all the other guys were sleeping.

"Which bunk is open?" Rick asked.

"Well," Daryl said, "This one," he tapped the one closest to the door, "Is Glenn and T-dog. This one," he pointed to the one directly across from the first one, "Is Shane and Dale. The one in the back right is mine. The top of it is at least. The back left is free."

Rick nodded, stacked the posters face down on the free bunk and said, "Mind helping me get my stuff together after lunch?"

"I got nothin' else to do," Daryl said.

Lunch was pretty good; there were thick loaves of homemade bread in the center of the table and everything Daryl could think of to make sandwiches from. He made a ham and cheese sandwich and glanced at Songbird to make sure she was eating. He shouldn't have worried; Songbird wanted her old weight back desperately. She'd made a huge turkey sandwich complete with several kinds of cheese, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise and mustard. She was also waiting impatiently for the cookies James was making to come out of the oven as she drank a Pepsi.

Sophia had sat down beside her with a cheese sandwich of her own.

"Hey," Songbird said through a mouthful of bread and meat. "Pretty awesome here isn't it?"

"Yeah," Sophia said with a nod. "I like the baby goats."

"Oh, and I saw some targets set up in the sparring room," Songbird mentioned. "That would be the easiest way to practice throwing."

"Cool!" Sophia looked excited and Carol gave Songbird a smile from where she sat beside T-dog.

"Yeah, we could work on that later if you wanted to," Songbird replied, getting up and grabbing some cookies for herself and Sophia.

"Okay," Sophia agreed. "T-dog promised to take me back outside to see the goats…but I could find you after that right?"

"Sure," Songbird answered. "I'm not exactly planning on heading out any time soon."

She watched James drop a cookie on Daryl's plate and give him a smile. Daryl cleared his throat and muttered something like, "thanks."

"It's nothing," James said breezily. "My pleasure in fact, a bhobain."

"You about ready, Rick?" Daryl asked.

Rick gave him a glance, trying not to laugh at Daryl's obvious discomfort. He knew when Daryl shot him a dirty look that there must have been amusement in his eyes.

"Sure," he said, popping the cookie in his mouth. "These are delicious, by the way."

"I'd better get a few more then," Songbird said, making Rick laugh. "See you later?" she questioned as Daryl got up.

"Yeah," he said. "I'll come find you."

He and Rick went into the room down the hall and gathered up Rick and Carl's things, carrying them into the other bedroom and stacking them on the bunks. When they were done, Rick sat down on the bottom bunk and looked at Daryl.

"So you and Songbird looked awful friendly today," he said.

Daryl shrugged.

"Why don't you just give in?" Rick continued, "Everybody knows you want her and you won't live forever."

"I was thinkin' about it," Daryl admitted, not used to telling anybody else what he was thinking and planning. "I can't believe she don't hate me."

"Why would she?" Rick asked, wondering if there was more to the relationship than Daryl had led him to believe.

Daryl just shrugged again and said, "So it's really over with you and Lori?"

"It's really over," Rick confirmed. "She kicked me out of the room last night, said that I was still the same as I ever was. I don't know why that's a problem."

"Cause she's a woman," Daryl said. "They're always wanting you to change and shit. If it ain't one thing it's somethin' else."

Rick shrugged this time; he didn't really want to talk about it just yet. What Lori had done with Shane had hurt a lot, but it wasn't the only problem in their relationship by a long shot. Maybe they were never meant to go the long haul. His thoughts drifted to Lucky. She was like a breath of fresh air in this whole apocalypse nightmare. She was witty and intelligent, friendly and capable. And she wanted to make him happy. That was almost a foreign concept to Rick after the last few years with Lori, whose goal in life seemed to be the total opposite.

After lunch Songbird drifted into the living area, pulled down the copy of Sense and Sensibility and got lost in Elinor and Marianne Dashwood's world. She'd never had many books; they took up too much room on the road and with no permanent address, she couldn't get a library card, so this room was like a small piece of heaven to her. She was just at the part where Willoughby takes his leave of Marianne in a most suspicious fashion when Freddy walked in.

"Oh," he said. "You're busy?"

"Reading," she said, marking her place with her finger and glancing up at him. "How was watch duty?"

"Uneventful," Freddy said with a sigh as he flopped down beside her.

"Looking for some action?" Songbird asked absently. It was only when Freddy blushed to the roots of his red hair that she realized how he'd taken the sentence.

"Um…" they both said at the same time.

"Actually," Freddy managed to say after a few minutes, "I was gonna show you the sparring room…it has a lot of stuff that you might be interested in."

"I saw it earlier," she admitted. When Freddy looked completely crestfallen she said, "But I didn't really have much of a chance to look around. I wouldn't mind you showing me again."

"Okay!" he said, jumping up and tugging her off the couch with ease. She was feather light. "You've eaten today right?" he asked.

"Yes," Songbird said with a sigh. "I'm well aware that I look terrible. I swear I'm putting on weight as fast as I can."

"Hey, don't go crazy," Freddy said. "I mean you don't have to gain a whole lot…not that you shouldn't eat as much as you want…I mean…"

He facepalmed and Songbird laughed as she said, "Fortunately for you Freddy, I know what you mean."

"You're a great girl," he said, giving her a smile, it was nice to hang out with a girl who saw past the crap that he usually ending up saying to what he actually meant by it.

He would have worried that she would think he was too old in the past, but if the rumors circulating about her and Daryl Dixon were true then it shouldn't be an issue. He had to be at least 10 years younger than that guy. He stepped up and opened the door to the sparring room for Songbird and she inclined her head at him as she walked in.

"I like the targets by the way," she said, looking at several of them painted to look like Walkers.

"Yeah," Freddy said. "That would have been Rooster. He's kind of sick."

Freddy said it with affection and pride and Songbird smiled before she pulled some of her knives and tossed one into the eye of each Walker quickly.

"You're really good at that," Freddy said. "And you do it…well, don't hit me okay? But you do it really, uh, sexy."

She shrugged, pulling her knives out of the targets, shaking her head at two that were slightly off the pupil of the Walker's eyes; she liked to be precise.

"I'm way too skinny to be sexy," she answered. "I just look all gawky."

"No you don't," Freddy protested. "Gawky is word for twelve year old boys."

She chuckled and said, "Then how would you describe me?"

Songbird pivoted and placed her hand on her hip as she said it, looking at Freddy with a smile.

"Uh," he said brilliantly. "Slight? Yeah I would go with slight. You're on the slight side. Yeah."

"Well, that does sound better than gawky," she admitted. "Thanks Freddy."

They walked around the room; Freddy showed her some more of the weaponry that she didn't know much about and when she got tired of that and began walking jauntily to make better use of the padded floor, he challenged her to a sparring match.

"You sure?" she asked, arching her eyebrow. "For all you know I'm a black belt."

"I'll take my chances," Freddy said, at this point he wouldn't have given a damn if she was; this was the only way he knew of to touch her.

"Okay," she said, bracing herself.

She wasn't a black belt, but she was quick and she had good balance. That didn't really matter; in seconds she was on her back on the floor.

"Wow," she breathed. "You're a lot faster than I thought you'd be!"

"That's me," Freddy said. "I'm speedy. Not all the time," he rushed on. "But at this."

He helped her up and they circled again. It was obvious that Songbird had no idea how to spar and he wasn't exactly in a teaching mood; so he mostly just chased her down and dropped her to the floor a lot. She was enjoying herself. Freddy was a fun person to play around with, and she was used to lots of physical activity. This reminded her of her old life; running around working up a sweat with a friend.

The next time Freddy grabbed her to toss her down, she wrapped her legs around him and held on tight so that they both fell to the floor. He braced his weight on his palms so that he didn't squish her and she looked up at him with a breathless laugh as she said, "Didn't see that coming did you?"

"No," he answered honestly, thinking that he couldn't believe his good fortune.

Songbird took advantage of his stillness to tickle him. Freddy gasped with laughter when she hit his most ticklish spot, his ribcage, near his stomach. He returned the favor and she squealed, squirming underneath him. She managed to gain the upper hand due to his distraction over that, rolling over on top of him, straddling him as she tickled him mercilessly.

"Give?" she gasped. "Say uncle!"

"Give?" he repeated. "When I'm winning?"

"I'm on top!" she said victoriously.

Freddy caught her hands easily and rolled over, putting her underneath him again, holding her arms over her head with one hand and tickling her with the other.

"Stop it!" she gasped through her laughter. "I can't move!"

"I know," he said, enjoying the feel of her twisting underneath him as she tried to get free. "That's kind of the point."

He kept up the tickling until she had tears in her eyes.

"Freddy please!" Songbird gasped, trying to throw him off or slither out of his grip or anything.

"Please what?" he asked with a grin, ceasing the tickling, but leaving his fingers resting on her belly. "Are you saying uncle?"

"Please…" she had to stop to swallow and catch her breath from all the laughing she'd been doing. "Please…"

"Come on," he said, his voice rougher from the exertion of holding her down. "I want to hear you say it."

"Yeah, go ahead and tell him what he wants to hear."

Songbird froze when she heard the familiar drawl from the doorway.

"Oh no," she whispered.

"Hey Daryl," Freddy said, getting to his knees and pulling Songbird into a sitting position. "We were just…"

"I got eyes," Daryl interrupted. "Don't let me ruin it for you." With that, he turned and walked away.

"Daryl wait!" Songbird called, jumping to her feet. "I'm sorry Freddy; I'll be right back!"

"Sure," Freddy said with a sigh watching her run after Daryl.

"Please Daryl," she said, catching up with him in the hall.

He didn't turn, so she caught his arm and said, "Please don't ignore me."

"I'm not ignoring you," he said. "Just givin' you space. I shoulda known better than go to such a popular place."

"Wait just a minute," Songbird said blushing. "You think we were…you think Freddy and I…"

"Let's just say I know that tone of voice," he said, refusing to look at her.

"What tone of voice?" she asked, confused.

"I've made you beg just like that," he answered coldly. "I guess it's easier than I thought."

"Daryl," she whispered in shock. Those words had felt like a punch in the stomach.

"Hey it's just a thought," he continued, "but maybe you could make a schedule or something."

"Why are you being such a jerk?" Songbird asked. "You should know me better than that! You should know that I'm not like that! I'm not a slut!"

"Sure, you were just _accidently_ every fuckin' where I was, you just _happened_ to find your way into the bed of my truck, you just _sort of_ asked me to fuck you?" Daryl drawled with brutal sarcasm.

Songbird was humiliated and hurt, but she was also seeing red furious, which was a rare thing for her. "So you think that just because I wanted you that I'd feel the same way about everybody? Fuck you, Daryl! I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you. You can rest assured that the next time I get the urge I won't be asking you!"

"Well, at least I know you've got somebody more than willin' to step up," Daryl yelled after her as she walked back down the hall.

Rick looked up in surprise when Daryl came into the room later by himself and looking seriously pissed off.

"What's wrong?" Rick asked.

Daryl clenched his jaw and climbed up to his bunk.

"Good talking to you," Rick muttered.

Daryl put his arm over his eyes and tried not to think; so of course he couldn't stop thinking. He pictured Songbird underneath that prick Freddy. He remembered the sound of her voice, Freddy's hands on her…his stomach turned over. Oh God. What made it even worse was the fact that he couldn't get her betrayed look out of his head when he'd accused her of being a slut. Why had _she_ been the one to look betrayed? He'd spent the day with her, planning to ask her to sleep with him and she'd run off and got underneath Freddy Mackensie that very same day? Or had she been doing that longer than he'd thought?

He rolled over onto his stomach and threw the extra pillow over his head to block out the lights in the room. That was that. What he'd been hoping for; Songbird to realize they'd never work out and move on. Quit bugging him and making him feel bad for not fucking her…yeah, he felt _much_ better.

Songbird walked back into the sparring room and gave Freddy a strained smile.

"Did you get in trouble?" he asked.

"In trouble?" she asked, forcing a brief laugh. "I thought I'd made it clear that Daryl's not my dad!"

"He seemed pretty mad," Freddy continued.

"Fuck him," she said. "I was kind of in the mood to go for a run, a really long run. Wanna come?"

"Sure," Freddy said, wondering if she knew how close to tears she looked. He wondered what the hell Daryl's problem was. He certainly wasn't about to sit around and wait for Daryl to change his mind again.

A/N: Again, Lucky, Freddy, James, and Rooster don't belong to me…read One Last Dream. Great story!

And…dragging out the tension is fun, so I tend to do it a lot. And Daryl and Songbird are both stubborn characters so they make it easy for me to do so! ;)


	17. Chapter 16

"It's not fair that Lucky has so many adorable clothes that I can't borrow," Songbird said to James the next morning.

He'd offered to teach her to cook and she was starting with a simple task. Brownies. She thought she was doing well so far, and James had agreed when she asked him. He'd refused to allow her to use the electric mixer on the grounds that he'd just mopped the floor, but other than that he let her handle things. She poured the dark batter into a glass pan and slid it into the oven, then licked her finger and grinned. Tasted good to her!

"I'm guessing you don't know how to alter clothes either," James said. "A phasgaidh, who handled your domestic training?"

"What does a phasgaidh mean?" Songbird asked to avoid answering his other question.

"It's an endearment," James said. "Along the lines of sweetheart or darling. It's traditionally used for children," he admitted.

Songbird smiled and shook her head as she checked the recipe for frosting carefully and gathered her ingredients. That was an example of why she enjoyed hanging out with Lucky. Lucky was the only person on the face of the planet that didn't treat her like a kid. But being with James was nice; she wondered if this was what having a dad would have felt like. Or maybe he just reminded her of what her mom might have been like if they'd had a permanent home. Either way, it was a warm, comfortable feeling.

"Anyway," James went on, surreptitiously tasting the frosting she'd created and giving a relived sigh when it tasted good. "If there were any Lucky wanted to part with, we could take them in to fit you."

"Really? That would be cool," she said. She wasn't used to spending this much time in normal clothes; the jeans and shirts she'd picked out at the mall were great, but they didn't have much flair.

"I can see you're dying to ask her," he said, giving her a smile. "Run on, all that's left is to wait for the brownies to bake and then cool. I'll come find you when they're ready for frosting."

"Thanks!" Songbird hugged James briefly and then ran out to find her friend.

Lucky was in the sparring room messing around with one of the weapons Songbird had forgotten the name of. It made Lucky look like Wolverine because of the way the three blades fit over her knuckles.

"Hey Lucky?" she asked, staying in the doorway. "I was talking to James about clothes and he said that if you had some stuff you didn't want anymore he could show me how to alter it."

"Yeah?" Lucky said taking a few more punches, removing several chunks from the dummy.

"Yep. So do you? Have clothes that you'll give me? Because…"

"Yeah," Lucky answered. "Just stop right there and let's go."

She walked toward her room and Songbird followed happily. Lucky had a lot of really cute cos-play outfits.

They went into the closet and Lucky spread her arms wide and said, "Take what you want, but I have the power to veto."

"Okay," Songbird said, pulling a blue Lolita dress out of the closet, it had kind of a schoolmarm feel to it, but the short ruffled skirt eliminated the matronly aspect and there was ruching along the bust line that would hopefully make her boobs look a bit bigger. It had a crisp white collar and matching cuffs and she thought it would look nice with her boots. She held up the sheriff's outfit with a grin and Lucky shook her head.

"I'm planning on using that later," she said.

"Really?" Songbird squealed, clapping her hands. "If you do it then you have to tell me all about it!"

"Yeah right, so you can tell everyone else?" Lucky questioned dryly.

"I don't tell people stuff on purpose," Songbird answered, looking down at the dress. "I'm working on it, I swear."

Lucky rolled her eyes and tossed Songbird a red dress with a mandarin collar and black Oriental embroidering around the hemline.

"Take this too," she said.

"Thanks," Songbird answered deciding to go find James now, she was eager for pretty new clothes.

"I'm going to go get something to eat before my watch shift starts," Lucky said.

"Oh, I made brownies!" Songbird said enthusiastically.

"For breakfast?" Lucky hedged.

"James helped," she said with a sigh.

"Oh, okay, I'll try them then," Lucky answered.

Songbird blew her a raspberry and Lucky laughed as she walked away. Songbird glanced down at her new clothes and shrugged philosophically. She picked up the sewing skills quickly as James had told her that she would. With hand-eye coordination like that he said he would have been shocked if she couldn't sew. By the end of the day she had two new outfits that were really pretty. James wouldn't let her take the skirts as short as she'd wanted them, advising her to "make them work for it!"

She didn't want to make Daryl work…she wanted to make him _hurt_. She'd never been so angry or so hurt as she'd been yesterday when he'd said those things to her. She went into Lucky's bathroom to have her shower and when she was done, Songbird put on the makeup she'd looted, just enough to bring out the dark blue of her eyes and put some shine on her lips, and then twisted her long hair up away from her face and neck. She pulled on the Chinese looking dress and some heels of Lucky's. They wore nearly the same shoe size and her black boots just didn't match this dress like the strappy, black heels did. It was supper time by then so she went into the kitchen when she was done. Pretty much everyone else was there was well. She saw Daryl leaning against the pantry door and chatting with Rick and Glenn.

"Well, there's my protégé!" James said when she stepped into the room. "Isn't she gorgeous?" he demanded of the room at large.

"I'll say," Freddy answered, walking up and taking her hand, spinning her around.

"What's the occasion?" Dale asked.

She shrugged and said, "Sometimes a girl just likes to look nice."

"Well, you sure do," Andrea said, eyeing her lithe figure. "Makes me want to skip dinner!"

Songbird rolled her eyes and said, "Just give a few weeks, I'll be back to my normal weight and possibly then some!"

Daryl tried to look unfazed by the fact that the girl he'd been fantasizing about practically since he'd met her now breezed past him, as graceful in heels as she was in sneakers. The dress was red and tight and so sexy on her that he had to swallow hard. It set her small figure and its lack of curves off to perfection. And when had she started wearing her hair up like that? It was all twisted up at the back of her head, drawing his attention to her neck, making him remember the taste of the skin there. She was also wearing make-up, making her seem just a bit older as she talked to Sophia and fixed her plate.

"You going to eat?" Rick asked, amusement in his voice as he watched Daryl standing there, an empty plate in his hand as he stared at the Songbird's back.

"Yeah, sure go ahead," Daryl said absently.

Rick laughed, snapping him back to the present.

"What?" he asked, giving Rick a dirty look.

"I asked if _you_ were going to eat," Rick said again.

"Yes," Daryl answered. "It ain't funny," he went on when Rick laughed at him.

"Sure," Rick replied. "Not a bit."

Songbird noticed the way Daryl's gaze kept landing on her, even though he was obviously working not to stare. It felt good. She kept her own eyes on Freddy as he rambled on about something and ate.

"So, what do you have planned for tonight?" Freddy asked her, noticing the way her eyes had begun to glaze over as he talked about the solar panels. He thought stuff like that was awesome, but it certainly didn't seem like she shared his opinion.

"Nothing really," she said with a shrug. "I'll probably just hang out and read, unless Lucky has something great planned."

"Yeah, I interrupted your enjoyment of the classics didn't I?" Freddy asked with a smile.

"Yep," she said, smiling back. "Shame on you, Freddy."

"I shall redeem myself with an honest 8 hours of watch duty," Freddy said, taking his plate to the sink.

Songbird followed him, stacking the dishes, figuring she'd make herself useful.

"Oh, here," she said, "I made brownies! Take one with you!"

"Okay," Freddy said gamely, but he was obviously relieved when she said, "James supervised the creation of the brownies, I swear."

He took the brownie she held out on a napkin and took a bite.

"Hey this is good!" he said, taking another bite. "Can I have one more? Watch is long and I get hungry…"

"Don't look so pitiful," she said with a grin, happy that her first ever attempt at cooking had turned out so well. "Here you go."

Freddy caught her hand and kissed it, making her blush.

"A million thanks my lady," he said. "You should rest easy tonight knowing that I am keeping watch to protect you."

"If we do meet again we'll smile indeed," Songbird responded with a grin, matching his courtly air. "If not, 'tis true this parting was well made."

"Julius Caesar," Dale said, sounding impressed.

"Yeah," Songbird said. "I'm a big fan of the Bard. I just don't get to throw a lot of Shakespeare quotes into everyday conversation!"

Daryl wondered when Freddy was going to let go of Songbird's hand. He walked up into a conversation Dale and Songbird were having about 12th Night, whatever the hell that was, and clanked his plate down beside her. She didn't even turn his way.

"Well," Freddy said, "I guess I'd better get up there before Lucy comes looking for me. Andrea, you're on duty with me you know."

"I know," Andrea said. "I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to sitting in a tower for 8 hours."

"Aw, that's cause you've never done it with me," Freddy said. "I'll make it best 8 hours of your life! You'll be begging to be on watch duty with me again in fact."

Andrea shook her head with a smile and gave Dale a kiss on the cheek before leaving the room. Songbird gathered up the rest of the plates and started on the dishes, pleased when Carol offered to stay and help.

"How do you like it here?" Carol asked.

"It's kind of like paradise," Songbird admitted, washing the plate Daryl had practically thrown at her. Maybe "mystique" had its advantages after all; she'd have to tell Andrea she was right. "I keep thinking it must be a dream."

"Me too," Carol agreed, drying and stacking the plates. "How long do you think they'll let us stay?"

"I didn't think of that," Songbird confessed. "Hopefully all winter. I'd hate to get the boot when it starts to snow."

Carol only nodded to that and Songbird acknowledged the grim possibility, vowing to ask Lucky as soon as she saw her.

"So, you and T-dog seem to be getting along well," she said instead with a teasing grin.

Carol smiled and nodded as she said, "I've liked him since I met him, and he's good to Sophia."

Songbird nodded and said, "He seems like the cool dad type."

"Her father wasn't," Carol said suddenly and bluntly.

Songbird looked at her with surprise.

"I never talked about it," she went on. "Before all this I mean. But he…well he hit me, when he was mad or frustrated about something. He was mad a lot. And when Sophia was born he just got worse. He started hitting her too and I…I didn't do anything. I always said that I'd never let anything happen to her, but I did. I _let_ him do the things he did to her… to me…and I just can't help thinking of what a waste of time it was. Staying with Ed, I mean. If I'd known what the world was going to come to, if I'd known that a good man might want me…I would have acted differently; I would have _been_ different."

Songbird didn't know what to say; she'd had no idea things were like that. Sophia never talked about her father and she hadn't wanted to press her for information, assuming the girl was still grieving. Apparently what Sophia must feel for her dad went much deeper than simple grief.

"You must think I'm a terrible parent," Carol said softly. "For letting him…"

"No," Songbird answered, searching for the right words. "You must have believed that he loved you, and if love meant getting smacked around then getting treated right wouldn't have looked much like love would it?"

Carol looked at her in shock and said, "I never thought of it that way."

Songbird shrugged, resolving to spend more time with Sophia, teaching her to throw the knives and getting Lucky to teach her to fight. She wanted her to grow up stronger than all that.

"When he died," Carol went on. "I couldn't figure out how to feel and I knew no one would understand that I didn't feel relieved like they all thought I should."

"They knew?" Songbird asked, unable to believe no one had done anything.

"Ed hit me in front of Andrea, Amy, and Jackie one day," Carol said. "Shane stopped him. Later that night we had an attack and Ed…Ed died. When we were cleaning up, I couldn't let Daryl put that pickaxe through Ed's brain…but I could do it myself, even though my heart was breaking, even though I didn't know how I could face the night without him beside me…I put that axe through his head and it felt good. And, I've never been able to talk about that before," she whispered. "But you didn't know Ed; you didn't see how he could be. I'm sorry to just…"

"No, don't be sorry," Songbird said putting her hand on Carol's arm. "I don't mind, and I understand. It wouldn't be easy to talk to people who knew him."

T-dog stuck his head into the room as they were putting the dishes away and challenged Carol to a game of Monopoly in the living area.

"Sure," she answered, walking out after him.

Songbird went too; T-dog, Sophia, Carl, and Carol sat down on the rug and set up the game, Dale was reading on one of the leather couches and Glenn was curled up on another with a book of his own, some graphic novel type thing by, Songbird checked the cover, a guy named Robert Kirkman. It looked pretty cool, but she wanted to finish Sense and Sensibility, so she picked it up from the end table and, kicking her heels off, curled up at the other end of the couch Glenn was on, promptly getting lost in the story again.

However; as she read a thought came into her mind. She was thinking about Carol and how little all of them really knew each other. There were so many dead people now, people whose lives and histories were lost forever. She refused to believe that humanity wouldn't come back from this and if she died, she sure as hell didn't want people to forget her. She thought about her computer and the brand new flash drive she'd bought with her last paycheck; she thought about how Carol had enjoyed talking to her because she was still on the outskirts of the group. She got up, put her book on the end table again and left the room. Then, since Daryl had made himself scarce, she changed into her comfy yoga pants and a cotton long-sleeved shirt and grabbed her computer, heading back into the living area with a purpose.

"What's up Songbird?" Glenn asked when she walked by.

"I'm glad you asked," she said. "Asking means volunteering to me, just so you know."

He laughed and closed his book, looking at her curiously. She scooted closer, putting the laptop over both their laps so he could see too.

"I was thinking of developing a questionnaire," she said. "For posterity and history. What do you think?"

"You mean just in case we die?" Glenn said.

"Well, if you want to be _negative_ about it," she responded.

"No, I agree," Glenn said quickly. "What kind of questions do you want?"

"Well, what do you think would be good?" Songbird asked.

"Name, age, physical description, former address, just in case we ever get to go home," Glenn began.

"How about where you were when this whole thing started and the names of those they've lost?" she asked.

"Yeah, that's good too," Glenn said. "And then an open one for a short bio?"

"I like it," Songbird said, typing rapidly. "Okay, so Glenn…name, age, physical description."

"Glenn, I'm 20, Korean, _not_ Chinese despite the opinion of certain squirrel hunters, 5'9, traditionally Asian in appearance…this is harder than it sounds!" he protested when Songbird laughed. "Maybe we should have someone take pictures."

"Oh hey! That's a great idea! Better than trying to describe yourself by a long shot," she said, then typed in the address he gave her and said, "Okay, so where were you when all this started?"

"I was at work," Glenn said, looking down. "I was a pizza delivery boy, in case you don't remember Daryl saying that, and I was delivering a pizza to this apartment downtown. I made it there fine, and I decided to be lazy and take the elevator up. I get in and there's this guy just leaning against the wall. Big city, I figured he was drunk. So the doors close and he turns to look at me. He's breathing real heavy and I'm getting freaked out so I say, "Hey dude, what's wrong?" and he's still moving toward me, all jerky, well…you know how they move." Glenn said with a shrug.

"Anyway, he reaches out and grabs my shirt and he pulls me toward him. I'm pulling back as hard as I can and then the doors open and I finally get away; he's still got a piece of my shirt in his hand and he's still walking toward me so I run out of the elevator and up the hall. I bang on the door of the place that's expecting the pizza; they open the door and I run in and shut it and they're staring at me like I'm nuts. I tell them to look out the peephole and they do and they see it coming along the hall. They're telling me it's just some drunk guy, so I show them my shirt and the guy decides to open the door. He was a big guy you know?" Glenn swallowed hard and made the effort to unclench his fists and relax his body.

"It grabs him and it bites him, just rips a chunk out of his neck. The guy's wife starts screaming; he pushes the thing away and comes back into the apartment, spurting blood. Bleeds out right in front of us. I'm trying to calm her down and figure out where the phone is so I can call the cops and then the husband sits up. His wife…" he broke off briefly and then said, "She was so happy. She runs over to him screaming his name. His name was Gary. Gary rips her open and eats her right in front of me; his wife…God she's just screaming and I didn't know what to do. The other one is still outside the door; I can't find a phone and I…I just run, down the fire escape. I try 911 from a pay phone but the line is busy. Actually busy. And that's when I knew."

Songbird typed the last few words and looked at Glenn, he looked pale and she felt bad.

"Maybe I shouldn't do this…" she said.

"No," he answered, patting her shoulder. "You're right. There needs to be a record. What was your last question?"

"Oh. People you've lost," she answered. "But you don't have to answer now… 

"I don't actually know," Glenn said. "My parents and I weren't really close. My friend, Brady James, he was my roommate; he and his girlfriend Crystal Anderson…we left the city together, heading for Atlanta like the government said to on the news. Crystal died of the fever, Brady…Crystal killed him after she died. Brady couldn't put a bullet in her head and she came back fast. I went on alone until I met up with the R.V."

"Who was in the group when you met it?" she asked.

"Dale and Jim, Andrea, and Amy, Jackie, T-Dog, and the Morales family," he said. "Shane, Lori, and Carl joined up a few days later, then Ed, Carol, and Sophia and then about a week after that we came across Merle and Daryl. Then Rick showed up."

"Anything you want me to put in here?" she asked. "Extra I mean?"

"I had a collection of comic books that would rival any known to man," he said with a grin. "So if anybody finds a rare first edition, it's mine."

Songbird laughed and saved the file as, "Glenn, Korean Collector of Comic Books"

"Want me to do you?" he asked. "Your file, I mean?"

"Nah," she said. "This is my project, thank you. You're merely a guinea pig."

He laughed and shook his head at her.

"Really though, Glenn," she said. "Thank you for telling me all that."

"It feels good," Glenn said thoughtfully. "Knowing that even if I die, maybe I won't be forgotten. It was a good idea, Songbird; I'm happy to be your first interviewee."

Daryl wanted a cigarette but, as lame as it sounded, he didn't want to go outside by himself. He walked up the hall, looking for someone to hang out with. Rick was just coming out of the room the guys slept in and Daryl was about to ask him if he felt like getting some fresh air when they saw Lori emerge from the bathroom, flush guiltily and tighten her towel as she walked to her room, avoiding Rick's gaze. Daryl thought that was a weird thing to do until several seconds later when Shane came out of the bathroom as well. He looked startled when he saw Daryl and Rick in the hallway, but it didn't stop him from going into the bedroom behind Lori.

"I want a cigarette," Daryl said bluntly. "Wanna come smoke with me?"

Rick looked at him, trying to get over the urge to go into that bedroom and beat the living shit out of Shane Walsh.

"Give ya a beer," Daryl said, sweetening the deal.

"What the hell," Rick said with a humorless laugh. "I could sure use one."

They went out to Daryl's truck, he pulled one of the packs he'd looted out of the glove box, banged it against his hand a few times and then lit a cigarette, inhaling deeply and exhaling pure satisfaction for a moment. He'd never been a heavy smoker exactly, but he'd been damn used to being able to have a smoke whenever the fuck he wanted one and not being able to do that had been driving him crazy. He'd planned to ration these out, but if the Songbird was going to walk around dressed like that he might have to go find more.

He looked at Rick out of the corner of his eye. He'd popped the top of a beer and he was looking down into it, radiating misery and anger. His marriage was over, he'd lost his best friend; hell, Daryl thought, throw in a dog and he'd have a decent country song.

"Uh…are you…" Daryl began, shifting uncomfortably, unsure how to ask Rick if he was okay without coming off weird. It wasn't like he and Rick were really close, but he was the closest thing to a friend Daryl had.

"I'm fine," Rick said sharply.

Daryl shrugged and took another long drag on his cigarette as he said, "Just thought I'd ask."

Rick thought of how shitty it felt to know that someone he'd considered his best friend, a man who was supposed to have his back, was fucking his wife right now. Yeah, their marriage was over and yeah, he wanted to move on too, but it was awful to think about nonetheless.

"I ever tell you about Jacie Stewart?" Daryl asked after a few minutes of silence, getting a beer of his own.

He knew he hadn't, but wanted to see if Rick was in the mood for a story. Maybe if he heard how shitty other's guy's lives were he'd open up about what Lori'd done. Daryl thought Rick was much too controlled. He needed to learn to just let people have it when they deserved it. That's what Daryl did and he saw no reason to change.

"No," Rick answered, wondering where Daryl was going with this. "Who's that?"

"She was a cheerleader," Daryl began.

"You got a thing for younger women don't you?" Rick asked with a reluctant grin.

"I met her in freshman year," Daryl continued, not acknowledging Rick's dig. "She sat beside me in English and Math that year. I cheated off her in English and she cheated off me in Math," he said with a brief laugh. "Next year I wasn't so lucky, only had Math class with her."

"I guess she was happy," Rick said.

Daryl shrugged; "We didn't really talk. Anyway the next year my grandpa broke his leg and I dropped out to take over the construction business…"

"Where was Merle?" Rick asked in surprise. "Or your parents?"

"Mama died when I was 3, old man left when I was 10, Merle joined the Marines when I was 14. I lived by myself in high school."

Daryl said it as if it was perfectly normal, but the look he gave Rick warned him not to comment.

"So what about Jacie?" he asked instead.

"Well, I ran into her at the gas station one day," Daryl continued. "And I'll tell you…she looked hot."

Rick grinned again as Daryl sort of stared into space for a moment or two.

"Uh, anyway," he continued. "She actually talked to me."

"What'd she say?" Rick asked.

_"Hey Daryl!" Jacie said._

_ He cursed his timing as he turned. He'd only come in because he'd had a Cheerwine craving in the middle of roofing the Sutton place. He was covered in dust and dirt, his jeans were ripped in several places, and his hair was stuck to the back of his neck with sweat._

_ "Hey Jacie," he answered, popping the top and taking a swig._

_ "You gotta pay for that!" the clerk called._

_ "I'm fuckin' gonna!" he called back._

_ Jacie giggled and walked up front with him; he glanced at her as he paid for the drink, then gestured at her Pepsi, "This too."_

_ "Thanks," she said as they walked out._

_ He shrugged and said, "Ain't nothin'."_

_ "I miss seeing you around school," she said, looking up at him. "Why'd you drop out?"_

_ "I'm workin' now," he said. "Bills to pay, didn't have time."_

_ "Don't your parents care?" she asked, twirling her blonde hair around her finger, still looking up at him but now with an impressed expression._

_ It was nice. He took another sip and said, "I live by myself."_

_ "Really?" she practically squealed. "That's so awesome!"_

_ He thought that if she'd ever had to do it, she'd think different but all he did was shrug and say, "Can't complain."_

_ "Well…" she stepped closer and put her hand on his arm. "Maybe I could come keep you company one night."_

_ He swallowed hard and then said, "I wouldn't mind."_

_ "What about tonight?" she asked._

_ "Sure," Daryl said. "Uh should I come pick you up…"_

_ "Nah," she said, running her fingers up his arm. "I can come to you. Tell me where you live."_

_ He wasn't sure whether to swallow his pride and admit that he lived in the trailer park or take the chance on not getting laid. Being seventeen, he swallowed his pride._

_ Jacie didn't seem to care as he gave her his address._

_ "So…see you around 8?" she asked._

_ "Sure," he said, trying to look like this sort of thing happened every day._

_ He finished the roof as quickly as possible and was ready to drive home, but then Mr. Sutton wanted to talk about how the job was going. It was a fuckin' roof! What the hell was there to talk about? He couldn't really get away without offending the guy though, so he'd made conversation. The trailer looked like shit, he smelled like sweat, and it was already nearly 7 o'clock._

_ "Ah fuck," he swore and started picking up dirty clothes, stuffing them in the washing machine to get them out of the way and then, when he realized that it was getting pretty full, turning the machine on with a shrug. He stacked dishes in the sink until it got full too. He decided to do dishes as well._

_ He wondered absently if he should wash his sheets. He decided he didn't have time and he was thankful that he had a least done that within the past two weeks. He liked clean sheets. The washing machine stopped and he switched the laundry to the dryer, finished the dishes, made the bed and, with another glance at the microwave clock, he jumped in the shower._

_ Daryl was nervous as he soaped up, rinsed off, and washed his hair. He'd had sex before; he'd actually lost his virginity when he was 15, but with work and no school it had been a while…he wondered if he would be impressive enough for her. She normally dated rich guys, and jocks. He was in deep thought under the water when he heard a knock on the door._

_ "Shit!" he jumped out, jerked his jeans on and ran for the door._

_ Jacie laughed when she saw him and he realized he probably looked completely ridiculous, his hair was still dripping water and his jeans were unbuttoned._

_ "Uh…," he said. "I was in the shower."_

_ "I see that," she answered._

_ "Come on in," Daryl said stepping back. "I'll be right back. You can…uh…sit if you wanna." He gestured at the couch and turned on the television as he walked past it._

_ He went into his room and changed jeans, then pulled a shirt on and went back out._

_ "So, Jacie," he asked, sitting beside her. "What made you decide to come over?"_

_ "I missed you, Daryl," she said, turning toward him. "School isn't the same without you."_

_ "Yeah?" he asked, not believing that for one second, but focused more on the fact that she was wearing her cheerleading uniform; the red sweater hugged her generous curves in a very distracting way._

_ "Yeah," she said, drawing one knee up and giving him a smile. "Can I tell you a secret?"_

_ "Sure," he said, unable to stop his gaze from following the movement of her legs._

_ "I've always had a thing for you," she said in a low purr._

_ "That right?" Daryl asked, mainly because he couldn't think of anything else._

_ "Yeah," Jacie said. "What do you think about that?"_

_ "Can't complain," he answered, reaching over and drawing her to him._

_ He kissed her, tasting her cherry lip gloss as he pushed her back on the couch. She didn't resist, instead she wrapped her arms around him and tilted her hips up, rubbing against him. He groaned low against her mouth, pressing his body against hers more firmly._

_ "Daryl, will you take me to bed?" she whispered against his mouth._

_ "Hell yeah!" Daryl said standing and tugging her behind him down the hall and into his room._

_ She giggled and he kissed her, tugging her sweater off and cupping her breasts in his hands; he was determined to make this worth her while. Jacie moaned when he unhooked her bra and pushed her back onto his bed, moving down her body, sucking her nipples, pleased when she dug her fingers into his hair and arched her body against his again._

_ He pushed her skirt down and yanked his shirt off as she kicked off her sneakers and pulled off her socks. He stood up to take his jeans off, then looked at her as she reached out, unzipped his jeans and pushed them down._

_ "You don't wear underwear?" she asked._

_ He shook his head; it had always seemed like a waste of money to him._

_ "That's so hot," she said, licking her lips, and then, gathering all her long hair in one hand and sweeping it behind her, she knelt and took him into her mouth._

_ "Not as hot as that," he managed to say, watching her sucking his cock. _

_ It was the first time it had happened to him and he didn't want to ever forget this moment. Her cheerleading uniform beside his work jeans, her blonde hair flowing down her back, her mouth working over his cock, he tried to take in every detail. He felt his stomach jerk the way it always did right before he came; he sank his teeth into his lower lip and tried to find something else to think about. She made it hard to concentrate, sucking faster and moaning around him._

_ "Ah fuck," he groaned when he had to pull back._

_ "You don't like it?" she asked, looking up._

_ He pulled her to her feet and said, "That ain't the problem."_

_ When he laid her down again, he reached over to his dresser, which was next to his bed, and grabbed a condom. She took it from him and rolled it on, making his muscles go tense. She ran her hands down his arms when he braced himself over her and gave him a smile._

_ "You're bigger than I thought you'd be," she said._

_ He exhaled in relief; she wasn't disappointed. He kissed her, enjoying the salty taste of her lips._

_ "I want you inside me," she moaned._

_ He was more than happy to oblige her. He pushed deep in one thrust and she wrapped her legs around him. He groaned and fucked her hard, just the way he'd imagined it over and over in school. He felt her go tense in his arms after a while and he pulled back to look at her._

_ "Oh!" she sounded genuinely surprised. "Oh God! Daryl I think I'm going to…"_

_ He held his breath as, a split second later, Jacie Stewart, head cheerleader, one of the richest, most popular girls in school, and his personal fantasy girl, came underneath him. He actually had to put his hand over her mouth because she __**screamed **__his name._

_ "Ah fuck yeah," he said, feeling her get tighter around him as she gripped his shoulders._

_ He moved faster, gripping her just as tightly as she was gripping him, pressing his face against her neck as he came. He came pretty hard, hard enough for his whole body to shudder with the force of it. All the sex he'd ever had before her became a distant memory. He didn't think he'd ever want to fuck anybody but Jacie for the rest of his life._

_ He rolled to his side and looked at her. She was still gasping her breaths and she snuggled against his chest. Daryl wrapped his arms around her and tried to catch his breath._

_ "I've never had an orgasm with a guy before," Jacie murmured._

_ "Had one with a girl?" he asked with a grin._

_ She smacked his chest and said, "No. You know what I mean!"_

_ "Yeah," he admitted, rolling onto his back, pulling her with him. "God I'm good."_

_ She giggled again and said, "I have to agree."_

_ "Stayin'?" he asked hopefully._

_ "Oh no," she said. "I have to get to Becky's. That's where my parents think I am."_

_ "Oh," Daryl was sort of disappointed; he'd been thinking it would be nice to wake up with someone else in the house again. "Yeah, that makes sense."_

_ She got up and, giving him a grin, said, "My legs are all shaky!"_

_ "So, uh," he broke off because he couldn't figure out how to ask if she was coming back without coming off desperate. "Be careful gettin' out of here. The road's kinda…"_

_ "I noticed," she said, wrinkling her nose. "Daryl?"_

_ "Yeah?" he asked, watching her dress._

_ When her sweater was back on and her clothing fastidiously arranged, she said, "Can I see you again?"_

_ "Sure," Daryl answered, trying to sound easy going. "I'm home most nights…you could just drop by whenever you want."_

_ "Then I'll do that," Jacie said, leaning down to kiss him, her long hair falling around her shoulders and brushing his chest._

_ He cupped his hand around her neck and kissed her back, relieved and exhilarated. When she finally pulled away and walked out the door with a grin and a wave, he lay back on the bed and said, "I just fucked Jacie Stewart. I, __**Daryl Dixon**__…just fucked __**Jacie Stewart**__!" _

_ He wished Merle was home so he could have told him about it. Daryl wasn't the type to write letters, which was good because Merle didn't read unless his life depended on it._

_ It went on for several months. He'd be eating dinner or watching television and Jacie would show up, hopping out of her shiny red Camaro with a wicked grin. He'd take her straight to bed sometimes, but other times they sat on the couch, her in his lap mostly, and watched TV. He'd play with her hair and wonder how the hell he got so lucky and she would kiss his neck and giggle as she talked about school._

_ She even stayed the night a few times. It made him happy to wake up to the sound of someone showering or rummaging around the kitchen. To feel less alone._

_ "So," he said one night as they were staring at the ceiling. "I was thinking maybe we could go to dinner one night or somethin'."_

_ "What?" she asked, turning to look at him._

_ He couldn't figure out why she looked so surprised._

_ "Well, I thought you might be gettin' tired of just hangin' around here," he began._

_ She laughed and said, "But then my daddy might find out that I was seeing you!"_

_ "You've been comin' here almost six months," Daryl said, sitting up and brushing her hair back. "Jacie, what's the worst that could happen?"_

_ "You don't know my daddy," she said. "He'd yell at me."_

_ "God forbid," he answered. "Ain't I worth it?"_

_ "Oh Daryl, don't be mad at me," she said, sitting up and wrapping her arms around him. "Please?"_

_ He wanted to stay mad, but her lips were moving down his neck and she'd promised to stay the whole night so he sighed and said, "All right, Jacie."_

"She strung me along like that for almost a whole year," Daryl said, looking into his beer.

"It's hard for me to picture you putting up with that," Rick said, thinking of Daryl's infamously quick temper.

"I fell in love with her," Daryl said with a half laugh. "God, I'd have done anything for that girl."

""How'd it end?" Rick asked.

_Daryl heard the knock and yelled, "Its open!"_

_ The trailer door swung back and there stood Drew Jenkins, quarterback for the football team._

_ "What the fuck?" Drew bellowed._

_ Daryl just stared at him for a few seconds, trying to figure out what the hell was going on._

_ The unspoken question was answered quickly enough; Drew grabbed him by the front of his sweatshirt and slammed him into the wall hard enough to knock the air out of lungs._

_ "You white trash son of a bitch!" Drew yelled. "Jacie's my girl!"_

_ Daryl coughed and said, "I don't think she got the memo, since she's been fuckin' me all year."_

_ Drew punched him in the gut and abruptly let the front of his shirt go. Daryl hit the floor on his hands and knees and then rolled to dodge the kick Drew aimed at his ribs._

_ "Fuck you!" Drew yelled. "Don't fucking lie to me!"_

_ "I ain't lyin'!" Daryl said as he stood. "How long you been datin' her?"_

_ "Since before you dropped out!" Drew answered, swinging and, due to the fact that Daryl was shocked, connecting with the right side of Daryl's face._

_ He staggered for a moment and then his temper ignited. Jacie had apparently been cheating not __**on**__ him, but __**with**__ him. Somehow that felt worse. He waited for Drew to step up and then he faked a punch to the guy's stomach and when he lowered his hands to block, punched him in the nose. Drew was bigger and taller than Daryl so there was no way he'd win in a strictly fair fight._

_ Drew bellowed in rage and tackled him straight out the trailer door. Daryl managed to twist and the concrete blocks that served as steps caught Drew in the back, giving Daryl a slight advantage. He jumped to his feet, then turned in surprise when headlights cut across his front yard. Jacie's Camaro in all its shiny red glory. Even more surprising though, was the fact that the person who got out from behind the wheel wasn't a high school cheerleader. It was a high school cheerleader's dad._

_ "Ah fuck," Daryl muttered._

_ "Did you think that I would let you get away with what you did?" the man asked._

_ "Look," Daryl said, backing up a step. Her dad was pretty big, reminding him unpleasantly of his own father briefly. Probably the murderous rage in his eyes. "I'm not gonna treat her bad, I swear. I'm in love with her."_

_ "You're what?" he sounded even more pissed. "Don't ever say that again! Look around you, boy! You know what I see? A trailer, a dirt front yard, and a redneck dropout. You'll never be good enough for her, do you understand that?"_

_ "I treat her right," Daryl said. "She likes comin' here. She likes bein' with me!"_

_ Jacie's dad nodded and suddenly Daryl felt a fist connect with the side of his head. He'd made the mistake of forgetting Drew. Mr. Stewart hauled Daryl upright and held him there for Drew to use as a punching bag._

_ "Daddy please stop!"_

_ Daryl squinted through the blood pouring into his eyes from a cut left by Drew's class ring and saw Jacie getting out of the car. He opened his mouth to say something to her, but Drew punched him in the stomach again and the word came out as a whoosh of air instead._

_ "Get back in the car young lady," her dad said. _

_ "He's hurt enough," Jacie said, looking frightened. "Daddy, somebody will call the police!"_

_ Daryl's last hope that Jacie loved him back hit the dirt. She wasn't worried that he was getting beaten to within an inch of his life. She was worried that daddy would go to prison._

_ "Fuckin' bitch," Daryl said. "You never told me you were still seein' Drew. All those nights I made you scream my name…"_

_ His sentence ended when Drew punched him, splitting his lip._

_ Daryl spat out a mouthful of blood and said, "Yeah, Drew. She'd never got off before I fucked her. You need lessons?"_

_ The next few punches hurt even more, one more to his already split lip, one to his nose and two to his ribs._

_ "You __**are**__ white trash, Daryl Dixon," Jacie said, her blush visible even in the headlights' glare. "I don't know why I ever…"_

_ "I can give you one good reason," he said, forcing the words out in spite of the sharp pain it caused to get enough air to speak. "I know what the fuck I'm doin'! Remember all those times you were on your knees with my cock down your throat, Princess? Remember how I used to make you beg for it?"_

_ Her dad let him go so suddenly that he couldn't get his balance in time to keep from falling. Mr. Stewart's foot caught him square in the ribs and he coughed, tasting blood and wondering if it was from the split lip or the kick. The man kept kicking him; he couldn't breathe, his mouth was full of blood and everything hurt._

_ A few seconds later he heard a shotgun go off near him and wondered dazedly if they were actually gonna kill him. He felt nearly sick with relief when he heard a deep southern drawl. His grandpa Robert Dixon, known to the community as Bo._

_ "I think that's enough."_

_ Jacie squealed and ran for the car, Drew followed. Only her dad stayed, looking at Daryl's grandpa as if weighing the odds._

_ "I'd run on son," Bo shifted the shotgun casually._

_ "If he ever so much as looks in Jacie's direction again," Mr. Stewart began._

_ "I've had my fun with her," Daryl said from the ground. "Wouldn't wanna deprive other guys of a mouth like that…"_

_ Mr. Stewart's foot connected with Daryl's ribs once more before the man turned and got in the car, kicking up dust as he drove away._

_ "You never have learned to keep your mouth shut," his grandpa said, reaching down and helping him up._

_ Daryl bit back a groan when he stood. The world seemed to be spinning, his ears were still ringing, and his ribs hurt so bad that he was pretty sure they were cracked. He leaned on Bo as they walked in._

_ "Go on back and lay down," Bo said, pushing him toward his bedroom. "How's the ribs?"_

_ "They hurt," Daryl admitted, wincing and biting his lip as he lay down._

_ He glanced at the clock; right about now Jacie should have been naked and underneath him. A pain in his chest that had nothing to do with his ribs jolted through him and he drew a ragged breath._

_ "Here," Bo handed him a nearly full glass and helped him sit up. "For the pain."_

_ Daryl grinned lopsidedly. Merle's whiskey. His brother had threatened him with various terrible punishments if he so much as looked twice at it. Oh well, Bo would straighten Merle out if he said anything about it. He took a deep breath and then drank it down._

_ "That oughta be enough to put you to sleep," Bo informed him. "If it ain't we gonna have us a talk in the mornin'."_

_ Daryl laughed and lay down again, feeling his head spin almost instantly. He closed his eyes. He vaguely realized later that his grandpa had wet a washcloth and was washing the blood off of his face._

_ "Night, Daryl," Bo said, sounding tired._

_ "Night," Daryl slurred; his lip was killing him. "Thanks."_

_ He felt his grandpa's hand resting on the top of his head; just like he'd done when Daryl was a kid. Even though he was drunk, in pain, and more broken hearted than he wanted to admit, Daryl felt better for a moment or two, good enough to relax into sleep._

_ The next morning when he woke up he couldn't remember for a minute or two why he felt so shitty. Then he remembered the whole "human punching bag" encounter. He jumped when he heard someone in the hall but it was only his grandpa._

_ "Made ya somethin' to eat," Bo informed him. "Can you get yourself into the kitchen?"_

_ "Yeah," Daryl answered, happy that someone was there. "I'll be right there."_

_ It took a few minutes for him to make it the short distance and when he did he'd have given anything for another shot of whiskey. Not only did everything still hurt, it hurt worse._

_ He mixed his scrambled egg into his grits and took a bite, trying to remember the last time anybody but him had fixed breakfast. Merle liked to eat, but he hated to cook, so usually Daryl got stuck with it if there wasn't money to go to the diner._

_ "Good?" Bo asked._

_ He nodded._

_ "What hurts?"_

_ "What don't?" Daryl responded._

_ "Well, the good news is that you're just as pretty as you ever were," Bo gave him a half smile, taking in his grandson's split lip, black eye, cut forehead and cheek, and his stiff posture. "Wanna tell me what all that was about?"_

_ Just about the last thing he wanted to do was discuss his sex life with his grandpa, but he figured that he must have heard at least enough of the conversation to guess that much._

_ While he was trying to figure out what to say, his grandpa said, "You didn't knock that girl up did you?"_

_ "No!" Daryl answered emphatically._

_"I was just checkin'," Bo said easily. "Now son, I can tell just by the car that she's out of your league."_

_ "I knew that," he admitted, forcing himself to eat a little more, feeling sick over losing her. "But I thought she…you know, I thought she loved me."_

_ "Women like that never do," Bo shook his head. "They might think boys like you are exciting, hell they might be willin' to fuck you, like she was. I ain't blind. I seen her car here, I figured as long as you was still comin' to work it wasn't none of my business. Your mistake was fallin' for her. Act like you got sense, son. Take what you can from girls like her, but if you wanna settle down, it's best to stay in your own class of people. Understand now, there ain't nothin' wrong with you…"_

_ "I get it," Daryl said finishing his breakfast._

"And he was right," Daryl leaned back against the truck with a sigh. That was the first time he'd ever told anybody what happened with Jacie. He hadn't mentioned it to Merle and his grandpa had never seen the need to talk about it again either.

"How long did it take you to get over Jacie?" Rick asked.

Daryl shrugged and said, "About as long as it took for the ribs to heal; maybe I was just in love with the idea of her. Fuck I don't know; I ain't Dr. Phil."

"Is that why you avoided Songbird?" Rick asked bluntly. When Daryl looked like he wasn't going to answer, he continued, "If I'm gonna open up then you are too!"

"Fine," Daryl said. "Yeah. She's out of my league for miles. And even if I wanted her…"

"You do," Rick said, as if it was the gospel truth, not his opinion.

"I think she and Freddy have a thing goin'," Daryl continued.

"How can you be so sure she's out of your league anyway? Nobody knows much about her," Rick didn't address the ridiculous idea that Songbird had a crush on anybody besides Daryl. She might as well have little cartoon hearts over her head when he was in the room. And just who did he think she was getting all dressed up for? Whoever said love was blind must've been a friend of Daryl Dixon's.

"I can tell," Daryl said. "And anyway, that wasn't exactly the moral of my story. Hell, Rick sometimes women fuck you over and it feels like shit…"

"What happened with you and Deena?" Rick interrupted.

"Huh?" Daryl asked in surprise.

"Merle mentioned her," Rick reminded him.

"Oh, yeah," Daryl took a deep breath and said, "More of the same, except she wasn't out of my league. Does it really make you feel better to hear how women fucked me in the least pleasant ways?"

"A bit," Rick admitted.

"Okay fine," he said. "I met Deena when I was 29, moved in with her when I was 32; she cheated on me when I was 34, and probably a shitload of times before that."

"But did you love her?" Rick asked.

Daryl sighed and said, "Yeah. I did."

"You have terrible luck with women. Who'd she cheat on you with?"

"This jackass I worked with," Daryl said. "Shittiest framer I ever hired. Apparently Deena didn't care about stuff like that though."

"How'd you find out?" Rick asked.

Daryl laughed and said, "I crushed my thumb. Lloyd had called in sick that day, so we were short handed, trying to finish up this big contract and I was working too fast. I decided I'd go home and let Deena look at it; she was a C.N.A., worked nights. Well, I get there and I see his truck. I'm not stupid. But for some reason I went in anyway. Found 'em in the bedroom, on my fuckin' side of the bed no less."

"What did she say?" Rick questioned.

"I honestly don't know," Daryl admitted. "I was so pissed off I couldn't think straight. I know Lloyd left with a broken nose and no job. I remember her sayin' she was sorry."

"You think she was?"

"Nah, I think she was sorry I caught her, not sorry she was bangin' somebody else when I was at work."

"So, what'd you do?"

"I left," he said simply. "Packed up while she was at work and went back to the trailer with Merle."

"How long did it take to get over her?" Rick asked.

Daryl shrugged and said, "I haven't dated anybody but her, unless you count the thing with Songbird, since then."

"I don't know how old you are," Rick said. "So that doesn't tell me anything."

"36," Daryl answered. "It was almost two years."

"What do you think about Lucky?" Rick asked suddenly.

"Say what?" Daryl asked in disbelief.

"Lucky. Do you, uh…do you like her?"

"She's okay," Daryl answered. "Rick, you askin' me what I think you're askin' me? I'm sittin' here fuckin' spillin' my guts and you're thinking about Lucky?"

Rick just shrugged so Daryl sighed and said, "Why are you askin' me?"

"I want to hear somebody say that I'm not crazy for feeling like this about her," Rick said in frustration. "I dated Lori for 2 years before we got married; I've known Lucky for a few weeks and I want her more than I ever wanted Lori."

"Hell, it's the end of the fuckin' world," Daryl said, lighting another cigarette; to hell with rationing. "If now ain't the time to live as you please then I don't know when it would be."

"You don't," Rick pointed out.

"Good God, would you let it go?" Daryl asked, aggravated. "So I never fucked the Songbird. Most cops would be happy that a 36 year old guy is keepin' his hands to himself around an 18 year old girl!"

"I told you, she's perfectly legal; she's got an obvious thing for you and I can't figure out what your problem is," Rick said honestly. "That girl used to follow you around like a puppy!"

"I don't need a puppy," Daryl said. "And you were talkin' about Lucky."

"Suddenly eager to hear about her?" Rick questioned.

When all Daryl did was exhale smoke in his direction he said, "So, you don't think I'm crazy?"

"Think you'd be crazy not to, especially since she was askin' me the same thing yesterday." Daryl answered. "I say git 'er done."

Rick laughed; he never thought he'd be standing in a compound built by paranoid underground survivalists, getting relationship advice from a man who actually said "Git 'er done" or that he would agree with that advice. "She said that huh?"

When Daryl only nodded, Rick figured he wasn't going get any further dirt so he held up his empty beer can and said, "Thanks Daryl."

"You're welcome," he replied, dropping the cigarette butt to the ground and stepping on it before turning to head inside again.

Daryl climbed up into his bunk and closed his eyes; the image of Songbird in that short red dress popped into his head immediately. Damn it. He tried to work up the anger he'd felt yesterday over seeing her with Freddy, or today when that prick had kissed her hand like some kind of knight in shining fuckin' armor, but he couldn't manage it. He just missed her. Rick was right and he should have made her his while he had the chance. Maybe there were a _few_ virtues to keeping your temper in check. He wondered if he should tell her that he was sorry for what he'd said. Daryl frowned as he realized that he should. He hated apologizing.


	18. Chapter 17

Breakfast, which Songbird had been looking forward to, turned out to be a major bust. It was an egg. Just one egg and a cup of milk. Daryl wasn't surprised; he'd wondered how long the great meals would last with feeding an additional 12 people. But he did miss the coffee. He wondered if he could trade the breakfast for a cup of it and then his stomach rumbled so he shrugged and took a bite of egg.

Songbird finished her meal too fast, despite the fact that she tried really hard to eat slowly. She gazed morosely at her plate, wishing for more biscuits or another egg or something. She'd really thought that she'd have a shot at putting on weight quickly. She had managed to gain a few pounds, but she was still shy of her former 115 by quite a bit.

"You okay?" Rick asked Lucky, who was sort of just staring into space, not even eating the one egg on her plate, which was making Songbird even hungrier.

I, uh, I didn't really sleep well last night," she responded, pushing her plate towards him. "You want it?"

"I do!" Songbird grabbed the plate before Rick had a chance to take it, he didn't even really notice because Shane spoke just then, sounding a bit sheepish.

"I guess that would be my fault. Sorry about that, Lucky."

"What would _you_ have to be sorry about?" Rick asked, in a protective, pissed off voice Songbird had never heard from him before.

Daryl glanced at Rick and noticed his stiffened posture and clenched fists. Of course Rick didn't look quite as shocked as Lori.

"Yes, what _would _you have to be sorry about Shane?" she asked.

"I might have brought back some, uh, unpleasant memories during our conversation while we were keeping watch yesterday," Shane said, taking a drink of his milk.

Daryl noticed the pained expression that crossed Lucky's face as she put the question in everyone eyes off by saying, "It isn't really your fault; I think I've only just now had a chance to slow down and think about it. I should get up to the tower."

Songbird watched her stand up determinedly and knew that Lucky didn't want to be questioned. Maybe she could get her to explain later, but Songbird was old enough to know what that expression meant. A deep hurt, not easily spoken of or erased.

"I'll take your watch; you go get some more rest," Rooster said, watching his daughter with a calculating expression. "We'll talk about this when you're feeling better."

"Thanks Daddy," Lucky gave her father a hug and he walked out of the room.

"Got any plans for your day off?" Rick asked.

"I don't know, kinda thought I might pay off some of my sleep debt," Lucky answered. "But I doubt that's going to happen. It's been a while since I took in a movie. Care to join me?"

"Are you asking me on a date, Lucy Mackensie?"

Looking up discreetly, Songbird saw Rick put his arm around Lucky's waist.

"I do believe I am," she replied.

Songbird was happy for her friend, until she heard Carl say, "I wanna watch a movie! Can I come too?"

What was it with the kids in this group? Songbird sort of laughed to herself as she thought back to Sophia ruining Daryl's best (ahem) laid plans.

Rick looked like he wondered how Lucky would react, but she only gave Carl a smile and said, "Of course! Sophia can come too, I'll even let you two pick out the movie."

"That was awfully nice of you," Carol said, as she started gathering dishes.

Lucky just shrugged and said that everyone, kids and parents needed a break from reality now and then. Songbird got up to help Carol with the dishes, but Andrea stepped in, saying that she'd do it and Songbird could just run along. Really? Run along? Oh well, it was nice to have no chores, even though she didn't know exactly what she was going to do. She walked out of the room, trying to look like she had a purpose.

Daryl watched her go, feeling kind of like a loser for not apologizing; he couldn't quite figure out how to say what he needed to say, and he didn't want to sound like an idiot in front of everyone. There'd probably be time later anyway. The more he thought about it the more he wondered if he had overreacted. Maybe she had just been wrestling with Freddy…and maybe he was just desperate. Either way, he'd been an asshole and that wasn't something he enjoyed being to people who didn't deserve it.

Songbird walked into the exercise room and saw T-dog attempting to throw a knife at one of the nearby dummies. At least, she assumed that was what he was aiming for. He certainly wasn't hitting it.

"Hey," she said.

"This is not as easy as you make it look," T-dog said, looking sort of embarrassed.

"How long have you been practicing?" she asked with a smile.

"I tried for about an hour yesterday," he said. "But I still can't…"

"An hour?" Songbird laughed. "I wasn't exactly born knowing this. I've trained for years! Your first problem is that you're flicking your wrist."

She took a set of knives and said, "Come stand beside me. See you don't flick," she flicked to show him what she meant. "You release smoothly."

She tossed the knife casually and nailed the target between the eyes. "And you keep practicing," she continued. "Until you want to die."

Leaving T-dog to it, she went into the center of the room and began stretching, realizing how tight her muscles had gotten without exercise of the variety that didn't include running like hell to save your own life. She bent and placed her palms on the floor, stretching her leg muscles and sighing. She had worked her way into full splits when Lucky walked into the room.

"Anybody up for a hunting trip?" Lucky asked.

"Oooh!" Songbird raised her hand eagerly.

"I take it that means yes," Lucky said with a grin and a shake of her head.

"I'm going to get my knives," Songbird said jumping up and running from the room, there were throwing knives there, but she liked her own better.

She ran almost directly into Glenn.

"Where's the fire?" Glenn asked with a smile.

"We're going hunting," Songbird answered. "Wanna come?"

"Hunting? Me?" Glenn looked surprised.

"Well I mean you know…if you wanted to…" Songbird realized that she'd never seen Glenn shoot anything.

"I do want to come! Hunting," Glenn finished with a blush. "I'd like to go hunting. It's just you know, no one's ever asked me before."

"Go tell Lucky you'll be joining us then," Songbird said. "I've got to find my knives. I can't remember exactly where I left them…" she walked off in deep thought.

After searching through Lucky's room and the kitchen she realized that she hadn't seen them since Daryl brought her stuff in. Dang. She peeked into the guy's room, sighed in relief when it she found it empty and walked quickly back to Daryl's bunk. Most of his stuff was still in a heap near the foot of the lower bunk and she shuffled through it quickly. No knives.

She climbed up to his bunk, unable to figure out why they'd be up there, but wanting to be through in her search. Songbird patted the blankets and sheets and flipped the pillows over. Still nothing except the scent of that new soap. Giving in for just a second, she lay down and buried her face in the pillow. Instant relaxation slid into her permanently tense muscles; it was almost like aromatherapy. She forced herself to remember the mean things he'd said and climbed down from the bunk, remembering that he'd told Rick that he had watch this morning.

Songbird went to the watchtower quickly; she was afraid Lucky and Glenn would leave without her. When she opened the door, she was amused to see that the person on watch with Daryl was James. James seemed to make him much more uncomfortable than Rooster did. She figured that was because James flirted incessantly with him, seemingly for the sole purpose of taking Daryl as far out of his comfort zone as possible.

"I told you we'd be done in time!" James said brightly, giving Songbird a stage wink as he gave Daryl an exaggeratedly dreamy look. Daryl looked outraged, but he was totally speechless so James continued, "Don't worry, a bhobain, your secrets' safe with me!"

"Secret?" Songbird asked, looking between the two men. "Who has a secret?"

"Well, now if I told you it wouldn't be a secret anymore now would it?" James said. "So, a phasgaidh, what was your reason for interrupting our alone time?"

"This isn't alone time!" Daryl said emphatically. "This is watch duty! And we weren't doing anything! We were…we were just talkin'!"

"Well, sure Daryl. Talking is an important first step to building any relationship," Songbird said in an off-hand manner.

His mouth dropped open, but he couldn't formulate a denial.

"Anyway," she said. "When you got my stuff did you get my knives?"

"What?" he asked, still trying to think of something to say to the other insinuation.

"My knives," she repeated, trying to look cool even though her heart felt like it was about to redline. "You got everything else, did you get them?"

"Yeah," he said, digging around in his pockets, which were full of odds and ends as usual. He came up with several sheathes and held them out to her. "Here they are."

"Thanks," she said, taking the knives and turning to go.

James asked, "And where are you off to with those?"

"I'm going hunting," she said, stopping at the door.

"With who?" Daryl asked in surprise.

Damn it, he'd been working up an apology and he didn't want her leaving the compound, especially when he was on watch duty and couldn't do a damn thing about it.

"Lucky and Glenn," she answered, surprised that he'd asked.

"The hell you are!" Daryl exclaimed. "You expect me to believe Glenn is gonna keep you safe?"

"I don't need Glenn to keep me safe!" Songbird protested. "Lucky will be there! And I'm more than capable of taking care of myself anyway!"

"Darlin' there's some things Lucky can't do," Daryl said. "You can't go."

"Yeah?" Songbird asked, opening the door and raising her eyebrow. "Watch me."

"Songbird…" it was times like this that it really bothered Daryl that he didn't know her full name, he paused in frustration, trying to think of a way to pull rank on her.

"Daryl," she said, stepping out the door, daring him to do something.

Daryl took a step toward her as she started closing the door.

"Ah, a bhobain, don't let her come between us! We've got eight hours… just the two of us… enjoying our "watch duty."

"Stop calling me stuff that I don't know what it is!" Daryl exclaimed as Songbird laughed and shut the door.

"Do you really want to know what I'm calling you?" James asked with a grin.

"No," Daryl said after thinking it over for a moment. "I just want you to stop doing it!"

"It's a habit!" James protested with a smile. "You call Songbird darlin'; you must know what I'm talking about!"

"I don't call her that anymore," Daryl protested.

"You just did," James countered, "You said, "darlin' there are some things Lucky can't do."

Daryl thought back, realized James was right and turned rubbing his face with both hands. He was worried about her out there without him, unsure of what to say to James for eight hours, and he kept thinking about how pretty Songbird was looking lately. Her face and figure had begun filling out and, with the benefit of happiness and daily showers, her pale skin was practically flawless, making her look like a china doll. And, now that he'd made up his mind to talk to her he wanted to get it over with and soon.

"You're making this harder than it needs to be," James said. "Take love where you find it."

"She doesn't…" Daryl began and then stopped, not wanting to tell James anything about it.

"Anyone with eyes can see that she does," the man responded. "And obviously you want her just as much. If not now, when?"

"It's complicated," Daryl said stiffly, hoping the guy would get the hint.

"It's the least complex thing human kind has ever done," James said. "See, want, take. I thought a man like you would have little trouble with it."

"A man like me?" Daryl questioned, wondering what the hell James was getting at.

"Emotional, possessive, probably quick tempered, not used to having the things you're desperate for…" James rattled off the list as if he'd known Daryl all his life.

"Desperate?" Daryl questioned.

"You want a woman who wants you with the same passion you feel for her. I heard your argument about Freddy, and before you protest, let me inform you that you were standing very near the room I was in. Freddy has a crush on her, but it's fruitless. They aren't suited to each other at all. Songbird needs someone to follow, someone to look up to. Freddy isn't exactly a natural leader."

"Yeah, well neither am I," Daryl said. "I'm just a survivor."

"Well, I can't force you to see reason," James said. "But if you think that she and Freddy will work out and you're stepping to the side for a better man, then you're being a little ridiculous. It will never work between them."

By the time Songbird got back to the room, Shane had joined their hunting party.

"How did that happen?" Songbird asked in a hushed tone.

"He volunteered his Jeep," Lucky answered. "I can't carry a deer on the back of my bike and you and Glenn don't have cars."

"Dang," Songbird said.

"Ya'll ready?" Shane asked, resting his shotgun on his shoulder.

"Yeah," Glenn answered for the group.

They walked out to the Jeep; as one, Songbird and Lucky stepped back and let Glenn have the front. Neither of them wanted to be that close to Shane. They drove toward the main gate; Lucky waved up at the watchtower as she opened the gates. Songbird glanced up; she couldn't see Daryl, but it made her feel safer to know he was up there.

Lucky directed Shane to a wooded area and they all gathered their gear.

"All right," Lucky said. "Let's get some venison!"

They walked softly into the woods on the lookout for deer. It took hours; longer than it had taken when she went hunting with Daryl that time. But, after a while, Songbird went still and put her hand on Lucky's arm, nodding to her right. Lucky aimed her bow and shot, dropping the deer. Songbird punched her in the arm and grinned at her.

"Good one," she whispered.

Lucky started to respond but then she shushed Songbird quickly. Songbird turned her head to see a beautiful young doe, apparently frozen with fear behind the tree where she'd been grazing until Lucky dropped the buck. Songbird had a moment to wonder if she was the buck's mate before an arrow nailed the delicate animal in the ribs. Songbird bit back a gasp of dismay when, rather than falling, the doe ran, the arrow still in her side. She felt sick.

"We killed, you carry," Lucky said nonchalantly to Shane and Glenn, pulling her arrow from the buck.

Then Lucky pulled her night vision binoculars and checked the woods. Songbird clenched her hands, hoping the deer had dropped. To suffer like that…alone, afraid, possibly aware (however aware an animal could be) that your mate was dead…to survive such horror to be cut down just so another species could eat. Suddenly she didn't feel much different from the Walkers she'd run all the way from North Carolina to get away from.

"Do you see it?" she asked Lucky.

"All I can see right now is her blood trail," Lucky answered, casually taking a sip of her water.

"You shot a girl," Songbird said numbly; she didn't know why that felt worse and she wasn't in the mood to analyze it.

"No, I shot a deer," Lucky sounded pissed off.

Songbird realized that she didn't care if Lucky did think she was a pansy for being upset; it was making her increasingly nauseated to know that while they were standing there, that deer was hurting…dying.

"Well, she's hurting somewhere!" Songbird said. "We have to find her."

"Did you think I was going to just leave her to die like that?" Lucky snapped. "Of course I'm going to put her out of her misery, but you have to remember that we came out here to hunt. That means that something is going to get shot."

Songbird wasn't in the mood to be diplomatic, "I just don't want it to be in pain."

"I would have killed her on the first shot if I could. I didn't see you doing anything about it."

Lucky walked off; Songbird stayed where she was. She couldn't understand how Lucky didn't get it. She wasn't going to go all PETA on the situation and insist that the group live on plants and roots, but damn it neither was she going to become so hardened that she saw a lovely, graceful creature die and didn't mourn the loss of that beauty in what was left of their world. If Lucky considered that weak, that was her prerogative, but Songbird was not obliged to agree.

"You're not going with her?" Shane asked.

"It couldn't have gone far," Songbird answered.

Shane walked away after Lucky and Glenn stayed with Songbird until they heard a gunshot several minutes later. Plus side, Songbird had been right. They hadn't gone far. Down side, there must have been a Walker for Shane to use his gun. She and Glenn caught up to see a Walker lying in the grass, with half its face blown off from Shane's shotgun.

Songbird helped Lucky carry the doe; they all felt a bit rushed now since Shane's gunshot had effectively sounded a dinner bell for Walkers in the area. They had just loaded the deer into the Jeep when they heard more rustling. Songbird drew several knives, holding them loosely, trying to calm the rapid beating of her heart. Lucky nocked an arrow and listened carefully. A Walker shambled toward them, looking a bit worse for the wear. One arm was missing and the other arm was only half there. Most of its face was gone too. Songbird heard Lucky's indrawn breath when they got their first close look at the thing. Songbird threw her knife; the Walker fell with a thud; Songbird's knife in its right eye, Lucky's arrow in its left.

"Hey, that was pretty cool!" Songbird exclaimed, even though she was a bit dismayed that the Walker had landed face down, trapping her knife forever. Those were the knives Daryl had found for her in Andy's Gun and Ammo.

"Indeed," Lucky began, but then there was more rustling.

No one expected what came out of the brush. It was a dog. A huge dog. It was a dark color, lean and muscular, if slightly underweight. It eyed them silently, no barking, growling, or whining, just appraising.

"Wait!" Songbird said when she saw Shane shift the shotgun to his shoulder. "That's a Rhodesian Ridgeback!"

"A what?" Shane asked.

"A Rhodesian Ridgeback," Songbird said again. "They were originally bred in Africa to hunt lions. It's in the hound category."

"Category?" Glenn asked, eyeing the dog uneasily.

"AKC," Songbird said, as if it should have been obvious. "They're brilliant dogs! I can't believe it's just wandering around like this. It must have lost its owner."

Then she stepped a bit closer to the dog, holding her hand out and looking slightly to the left of the dogs' eyes while murmuring in a low tone. The dog looked away, but it didn't move.

"Are you crazy?" Shane hissed, starting to step forward.

Lucky pushed him back.

"If you go running up there, you'll scare it and it will hurt her!" she said. "Just keep it in your sights and see what happens."

When Songbird was close enough to touch the dog she stopped, "Did you lose someone?" she asked.

The dog glanced up at her and then back away. She was thrilled. The breed was known for being somewhat standoff-ish with strangers. She looked at its back, seeing the perfect ridge of hair that grew in the wrong direction, marking it as a purebred Rhodie. She'd always wanted one. She kept her hand out.

"I lost everyone too," she said in a low, calm tone. "Want to come home with me? You don't have to be by yourself anymore."

The dog looked up at her, then stretched its nose forward, sniffing her hand. She took a careful step back, holding her breath. The dog followed. She stepped back again, the dog stepped forward. She noticed that it still had a collar, but no tags. Songbird took a deep breath and hooked her fingers into the collar, wondering if the dog would submit or bite her hand off. Losing a hand would suck. The dog looked up at her quizzically, tilting its head and raising its ears so that its forehead creased into that adorable, wrinkled, worried look Ridgebacks got.

"Come on," she ordered.

The dog took off so fast that she was jerked off her feet. Lucky laughed. Songbird dug in her heels and managed to get the dog to stop after a few yards.

"Can I keep it?" Songbird asked Lucky, giving her the best pleading eyes she could manage.

Lucky laughed even harder, but she nodded.

"What's so funny?" Songbird asked in confusion.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just thinking about Freddy," Lucky managed. "He'll be," more hysterical laughter, "positively speechless!"

In the end, Shane managed to fit the deer, the dog, two girls and Glenn into the Jeep and head back. Songbird held the dog's collar securely, resting her head on his side. His gender had become apparent when they were trying to arrange everyone in the back of the Jeep.

"So," Glenn said, eyeing the monster of a dog. "What are you going to name him?"

"Michelangelo," Songbird said with no hesitation.

"The painter or the turtle?" Lucky asked.

"Turtle," she answered with a smile.

"I don't know," Glenn said doubtfully. "Looks more like Shredder to me."

"But then people would be scared of him," Songbird said. "I don't want that."

For some reason, that set Lucky off into peals of laughter again, but she wouldn't say why.

Rooster had come up to talk to James during the watch and shooed Daryl out of the room. He'd been more than happy to go. He liked James actually, but watch was boring and the guy kept giving him subtle hints and guilt trips about Songbird. He'd gone out to have a smoke, figuring he deserved one for what he'd been through when he heard the Jeep come back. He sat down on the tailgate and pulled a cigarette out of the pack, getting ready to light it when he heard Songbird squeal.

"No! Stop it!"

Then he heard another, smaller squeal followed by a muffled, "Ow!"

He jumped off the tailgate and was starting over to Shane's Jeep when he encountered the biggest fuckin' dog he'd ever seen in his life. Songbird was on her knees brushing dirt off of her shirt and wiping it from her chin and holding a piece of rope that had obviously been intended to be a leash for the thing. Daryl thought that, since it appeared to weigh more than she did, it might not have been the best idea to let her walk the Hound of the fuckin' Baskervilles. Lucky was laughing and Shane was shaking his head, fighting a grin of his own. Glenn just looked mildly alarmed.

Daryl lit the cigarette. The dog's head jerked around at the sound of the lighter and Daryl's eyebrows went up when it bolted toward him, grinning from ear to doggy ear. Songbird, who had only just gotten to her feet, gave another squeal when Michelangelo headed for Daryl at breakneck speed, dragging her behind him like a ragdoll.

"Stop! Heel! Stay! Michelangelo!" she called breathlessly.

"Sit!" Daryl ordered, bracing himself in case that didn't work.

To everyone's surprise, Michelangelo sat immediately, so quickly in fact that Songbird stumbled over him. He shrugged and blew a smoke ring at the Songbird, who was looking at him in a combination of irritation and astonishment.

"How did you do that?" she asked, forgetting that she was ignoring him.

He had no idea, but he wasn't going to tell her that.

"You have to let 'em know who's boss," he drawled, patting the dog on the head.

It promptly leaned its entire weight against his left leg, nearly causing it to buckle.

"He's just a big baby," Songbird cooed.

Daryl studied it and thought that the only words in that sentence that applied to the animal in question were "he" and "big."

"Where'd you get it?" he asked pushing back against the dog, who gave him another grin.

"In the woods," Songbird answered, happy that he was talking to her the way he'd used to, without all the name calling and insinuations. "I named him Michelangelo."

"Just need three more, some pizzas, and a rat and we could fight crime," Daryl said. "Have these Walkers straightened out pretty damn quick."

Songbird clapped her hands and said, "Exactly! See? He gets it!"

Glenn shrugged and said, "I'm going inside."

"Not so fast!" Lucky said. "We've got deer to gut."

"You're going to make me cut that thing apart?" Glenn went sort of pale.

"It's not so bad," Songbird said sympathetically. "I'd help, but I've got to find somewhere for Michelangelo to sleep…"

The dog caught a scent and took off, dragging her behind it. Daryl caught Songbird's flailing arm and pulled her back, saying, "Tell him to sit!"

"Sit!" she called.

Michelangelo ignored her, tugging in one direction while Daryl held her still.

"Ow!" she squeaked.

"Sit!" Daryl ordered again.

The dog sat.

"Want some help?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

She sighed and tried to look huffy, but she didn't exactly manage it as she said, "If you must."

"I don't think I've got a choice," Daryl said, taking the rope from her and wrapping it around his hand.

"I'll come too," Lucky said, "and show you where you can put him. I'll be right back to help with the deer, Glenn."

"Take your time," he said seriously.

"Oh," Songbird said, seeing Daryl's tailgate still down. "Can I put this in the truck for now?" She held up the laptop bag. "I'll get it later."

He nodded and after she stowed the bag and closed the tailgate, they walked along companionably, passing the barn and the chicken coop with only minimal resistance from Michelangelo, who must have felt like chicken would make a great dinner.

"Hey Freddy!" Songbird called suddenly. "Look!"

Daryl bit back a sigh as Freddy came over the small hill.

"Hey Songbird," he called. "What are you…oh my god!"

He stopped dead in his tracks; Michelangelo yanked at the rope excitedly. Daryl saw all the color drain from Freddy's face as he beheld the dog.

"Oh my god!" Freddy said again, backing away.

The dog jerked on the rope; Daryl relaxed his grip briefly. Michelangelo flew toward Freddy as fast as his long legs would take him.

Freddy screamed. A seriously high pitched, girly scream of pure terror.

"No!" Songbird called. "Sit Michelangelo!"

The dog paid her no attention at all.

"Daryl!" she said, turning to him.

He was laughing so hard he could barely remain upright, even though the dog had reached Freddy, stood on its hind legs and was enthusiastically licking his face, undeterred by the fact that Freddy was still screaming.

"Daryl, do something!" she ordered.

"Sit," he gasped out, unable to talk loud enough for Michelangelo to hear him.

"Lucky!" Songbird said, spinning around, shocked to see Lucky in the same state as Daryl, bent over and clutching her ribs, practically choking with giggles.

Seeing no help from any quarter, she ran down the small hill, grabbed the dog's collar and tugged back as hard as she could.

"Sit!" she ordered desperately. "Oh Freddy, Freddy I'm so sorry! Sit Michelangelo! Really, Freddy I had no idea! Michelangelo sit! Freddy I…Daryl Dixon you get down here and help me!"

Daryl walked leisurely down the hill, still laughing at the scene. It wasn't quite as funny now that Freddy had stopped screaming like girl. He grabbed the dog's collar and, taking a deep breath to steady his voice, said, "Sit!"

Michelangelo sat, alternating worshipful glances between Daryl and Freddy. Freddy was shaking.

"I'm so sorry!" Songbird exclaimed. "I didn't know you were scared of dogs…"

"I'm not scared!" Freddy said. "I am…I am allergic. Deathly allergic. I might die!"

Songbird clapped her hands over her mouth and said, "Lucky, why didn't you say something?"

"Because Fred is not allergic to dogs," Lucky said matter of factly, "He's just a pussy. I mean a cat person."

Daryl snorted again and Songbird sent him and Lucky a dirty look.

"Maybe you should go lie down," she suggested. "And take something for your allergy."

"I will," he said. "I should. I could die."

"Yeah, I'm sure it's hard to breathe with all the screaming," Lucky giggled.

"I'm sure you could die," Songbird said, ignoring Daryl and Lucky and patting Freddy's arm. "Maybe get a shower too, that will help with the allergens right?"

"Right," he repeated. "I'll do that."

As Freddy walked shakily away Songbird turned to Lucky and Daryl and said, "You're both terrible people."

Lucky wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes and said, "Anyway…you could put the dog over there, there's even an old doghouse in the barn somewhere. I'm sure you can rig something, right Daryl?"

"Yeah, sure," he answered, watching her walk back to gut the deer and thinking of venison as he tied to dog to a nearby tree and walked into the barn.

Songbird followed him up the hill and glanced around the barn. It looked very barn-ish she assumed. She'd never been in one before.

"Hey! It has a rope!" she exclaimed after a moment.

"Plannin' on hangin' somebody?" he asked, wondering why she was so excited.

"Of course not," Songbird said. "I just…" she stumbled to a stop, unable to explain.

"Come here," Daryl said, lifting a side of the doghouse.

She got the other side and they carried it down and got Michelangelo situated in relative silence. She couldn't figure out what to say; she hadn't really planned to speak to him again after the things he'd said. It was really all Michelangelo's fault.

Once the dog was secured so he couldn't break free and torment innocent people like Freddy, and Songbird was wiping the dirty paw prints off her shoulders from Michelangelo's attempt to keep her from leaving him, Daryl had almost worked up his apology.

"Hey Daryl?" she asked, still glancing at her tee-shirt as if checking for dirt, even though she knew it was as clean as it was going to get.

"Yeah?" he asked relieved that he didn't have to start just yet.

"We could still be friends right?" she questioned.

"Friends?" he felt like he'd been sucker punched, thinking back to the way she'd fawned all over that prick Freddy about the dog.

"Yeah…I mean, just because we kissed or whatever…even though that's over," she swallowed hard, not willing to make any references to their time together that could be misconstrued as slutty or like begging. "Even though we aren't whatever we were, I thought that maybe we could be friends now. I like talking to you and I don't want to not…"

He held up his hand, watching her twisting the hem of her tee shirt, giving him frustrating glimpses of her flat stomach. He wondered why he'd never taken the time to kiss his way down it when he'd been busy fooling himself into believing that he could have her. It seemed crazy now that he hadn't had his mouth on every inch of her.

He cleared his throat and said, "I see what you're sayin'. You really wanna be friends? That's what you want?"

"Sure," Songbird said, wondering what that look on his face was.

"Then…uh, sure," he replied. "If that's what you want, then that's what it'll be. I've got to go…do something. I'll see you later, dar—Songbird."

"See you later Daryl," she said, thinking that maybe she'd go talk to Lucky about her questionnaire.

Or maybe she'd ask Daryl; Songbird shook her head at herself. That would just be an excuse to hang out with him and he'd probably call her a slut. She'd been kind of hoping Daryl would talk her out of the friendship thing, make some great big gesture, which she knew made her totally ridiculous. Guys tended not to do things like that off the silver screen.

He walked away thinking that James had been pretty much dead wrong and wondering if he should go point that out. Friends? Good God the last thing he wanted to do was try to be her friend. When he was around her he wanted her; James hadn't been far off the mark when he'd said desperate either. Oh well, maybe he could just avoid her and nod friendly-like when they passed each other in the hallway.

The new watch roster was up; most people had been trained in what to do and he noticed that the people who hadn't seemed to be paired with those who had. He ran his finger down to a day two days from now, a day shift with him and…

"Ah fuck," he muttered. "Why do you hate me?" he demanded of the ceiling. It didn't answer.

A/N:

Gurl3677: Now, you know Daryl is a stubborn man! Lol Thanks for the compliment on the chapter!

Lucy Freebird: Yeah, I wanted to show what's going through Daryl's head when he pushes Songbird away and she had to make him squirm a little bit…he's been so in control of their interaction from the beginning that it was about time that he had to suffer.

AzkadelliaBlast94: Thanks! Whew! When I'm making stuff up about him I'm always afraid it isn't going to come off the right way, or it won't fit how others see his history or background.

Effigy: Cheerwine rocks! I'm from South Carolina myself and I grew up on the stuff, so I figured that since Daryl is a Southern boy, he'd have had a sip or two of it in his life. I do plan to bring out Songbird's past; she won't always be such a mystery, I promise! And with Daryl and Rick, I figured that it was about time Rick had a buddy who wasn't looking to sleep with his wife ;)


	19. Chapter 18

Songbird walked into the watch room trying to look composed. She hadn't been alone in a room with Daryl since their decision to be "friends" two days ago.

He watched her sit down in the chair that looked like a rope swing, crossing her long legs and giving him a smile. She was wearing brown corduroys and a dark green shirt with her bright pink converse sneakers. He liked the impracticality of those shoes and the personality they represented.

"Hey, Daryl," she said, feeling kind of nervous.

"Hey, Songbird," he answered, giving her a glance and then looking out at the landscape.

She looked down at her sneakers and exhaled slowly. Watch shifts lasted eight hours and she really didn't want to spend all of them in silence. When he didn't speak again she sighed and tugged one of her throwing knives from its sheath, tossing it and catching it a few times. She wished she could read and watch at the same time. She started jiggling her leg, then swinging in the chair. She twisted the ropes and then spun, closing her eyes and leaning back.

"What the hell are you doin'?" Daryl asked finally.

"I'm bored," she answered. "Are you really not going to talk to me?"

"What do you wanna talk about?" he asked.

"I don't know," she said with a shrug.

"Well, when you figure something out you let me know," he replied.

She sighed again and eventually did what she always did when she was bored or nervous. She started to sing. Daryl didn't recognize the song until she got to the chorus.

"So I walk up on high, and I step to the edge,

To see my world below

And I laugh at myself, while the tears roll down

Cause it's the world I know, it's the world I know."

"Ain't heard that in a while," he said when she was done.

She shrugged and said, "It's always been a favorite of mine. It came out the year after I was born."

He winced internally; he'd been nearly twenty the first time he'd heard it. Songbird figured she'd said the wrong thing when he didn't speak again. She wondered why he was so sensitive about their age difference. Hugh Hefner never seemed to mind being WAY older than his girlfriends. Of course, there were several differences between Daryl Dixon and the Hef…she smiled to herself, somehow she couldn't picture him in a robe or with a pipe.

Case in point, right now he was wearing his old jeans, which were ripped and stained with dirt and Walker blood even though they were technically clean and one of the long sleeved Henley shirts he'd picked up in the mall. It was dark gray and she liked how tight it was around his arms. His boots were also muddy, he hadn't shaved, and his hair was starting to fall into his eyes because he wouldn't let James cut it. She knew that was because of the way the man had asked. James had eyed him across the dinner table last night and told him how much sexier he'd be with "All that distracting hair out of your beautiful blue eyes a bhobain." She'd nearly choked on her drink laughing at the horrified expression on Daryl's face. He'd actually blushed. It had been hilarious! His hair was looking rough though, honestly.

So why was she getting turned on just looking at him? He was doing something with the Ghost crossbow, she had no idea what…but she liked watching his fingers move. He had surprisingly artistic hands, like a painter or sculptor. And she knew personally that he was good with them. She absently bit her thumbnail, remembering how sexy every last inch of him was. He'd finished whatever he was doing and he took the pulley he'd draped over his shoulders, put his foot on the stirrup of the crossbow and cocked it.

"Why do you have to have that rope thing?" Songbird asked.

"This?" he asked, holding up the pulley.

"Yeah," she said, "You didn't have that for Mary Jane."

"Mary Jane has a lighter draw," he explained again. "That's why I brought this one for watch; it shoots faster feet per second, but it takes longer to reload."

"Makes sense," Songbird said. "I bet you've been dying to use it."

He nodded and gave her a grin as he admitted, "She is nice."

"Named her yet?" Songbird asked.

He shook his head.

"Don't know her well enough?" she teased.

Daryl laughed as he answered, "Yeah, that's pretty much it. Gotta shoot her a few times…get to know her personality."

"Of course," she agreed.

To both their dismay the conversation sort of fell flat. He looked down at the crossbow, she resumed biting her nails. Long minutes dragged past. An hour later Songbird couldn't take it anymore. She asked a question that had been bugging her for a while.

"Does your middle name start with D?" she questioned.

He looked at her like she was crazy and said, "What?"

"You know…cause your name is Daryl Dixon."

"What?" he repeated, not following her at all.

"They both start with D! I just wondered if your parents had a theme or something," she explained.

"Oh. Well, my brother's name was Merle," he reminded her. "That should answer your question right there."

"Is your middle name something horrible?" Songbird asked. "Is that why you won't tell me?"

"You're one to talk about not tellin' people your name!" Daryl said indignantly.

She held up her hands and said, "Just trying to make conversation!"

He gave in with a sigh and said, "My middle name is Robert. Daryl Robert Dixon. I was named after my grandpa."

"The same one who gave you the crossbow?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "Merle was named after our old man if you're interested. Merle Wayne Dixon." He gave her a glance and said, "So tell me at least one thing about you. Only fair."

"I'm a natural redhead," she offered weakly.

He snorted and shook his head, "I knew that," he answered.

She sighed and wished she'd led a life she didn't mind talking about.

"I don't know what to tell you, Daryl," Songbird said.

"Then never mind," he said. "If you ain't gonna tell me anything that means anything what the fuck are you talkin' to me at all for?"

"Fine," she said. "Nothing like eight hours of silence."

"Six now," Daryl replied, checking the clock for the 500th time.

He hadn't really meant to snap at her, but it was frustrating how she always got him to answer her questions and then put him off when he asked her something. Daryl didn't know what else to say to her, so he just went back to staring out at the farm below and willing time to go by faster.

She moved the swing chair a bit, picking her feet up and gliding forward. She was tired. Tired of pretending that he'd wake up and like her again one day, that he didn't blame her for his brother's death, that she had ever meant anything to him at all. He'd been awkwardly friendly lately which was terrible. Clearly the two of them were not cut out for friendship.

Furthermore, being "friends" hadn't affected the way she felt about him, the ache in her stomach when he ignored her, the hot shocks of lust she felt with her whole body when he did something sexy…like, oh _breathe_, the way she still had to imagine herself laying against him to get to sleep. She shivered. It had become bleak winter cold overnight and she hadn't thought to bring a jacket to the watch tower.

"If you're cold, go get your jacket," Daryl said after a moment.

She hadn't even known that he'd seen her shiver.

"I'll be okay," she began.

"You'll end up getting sick," he interrupted. "And God knows I can't just run you to the doctor. Go get your jacket. I can watch by myself for five minutes."

Songbird obeyed because she knew he was right and because the temperature seemed to be dropping even more. She pulled on a hoodie and grabbed her jacket as well just in case the temperature dropped further and then ran back up to the tower.

"See that?" Daryl questioned sarcastically. "Nobody died."

She shrugged and went back to swinging.

When their watch was nearly over she said, "Daryl?"

"What?" he asked.

"I didn't mean to make you mad earlier. It's just…"

"Just that you don't think it's any of my business to know anything about you right?" he finished.

"I'm not saying that it's not your business…"

"You don't have to say it," he said.

"Don't put words in my mouth!" she was indignant. "If that was what I meant then that's what I'd say!"

"Fine," he shrugged. "I don't wanna get into an argument with you, since we're _friends_ and all. Just seems like I've told you an awful lot about myself and got jack shit back for it."

"Okay, fine I'll tell you something that nobody else knows," Songbird said to placate him. "My middle name is Marie."

"Really?" Daryl had been bugging her for information for so long that he didn't know what to do with what she'd just said.

"Really," she said, wincing and shaking her head. "Trust me; Songbird is much cooler than Whatever Marie."

"Well, if your first name is really Whatever…" he said with a grin.

"It isn't," Songbird swung forward and smacked his arm with a smile. "But it would be preferable."

"It can't be that bad," he reassured her, hoping to get more information.

"Sure it is," she answered. "And watch is almost over. What are you doing afterward?"

"James wants me," he said absently, thinking about what a pretty smile she had; it was an open, honest grin and he liked that her cuteness was real; she never faked it like some women did when they were trying to get a man.

She laughed and he realized exactly how that had sounded.

"In the garden! He wants me to help him with stakes!" Daryl hurried to explain. "Because it got cold so fast…"

"If that's what you crazy kids are calling it these days…" Songbird trailed off and Daryl jumped out of his chair and headed toward her with intent in his eyes.

She scooted back in her chair with a squeal. He grabbed one of the ropes and yanked the chair/swing closer.

"Now darlin', you know better than that," Daryl said, wondering if this qualified as friendly or if it was sort of desperate.

She was looking at him feeling sort of breathless and happy about it when Shane and Lori walked in.

"Hey ya'll," Shane said, looking between the two of them with a raised eyebrow.

He wondered when Daryl was going to just get it over with. Lori had often talked about how weird Songbird and Daryl's relationship was. She also swore that Daryl was having sex with the 18 year old. Shane knew different; Daryl didn't look nearly happy enough to be banging a sexy little thing like that. Hell, the thought had crossed his mind before things had worked out with Lori again.

Daryl let go of the rope and Songbird hopped out of the swing.

"Hey," Songbird answered.

Daryl picked up the crossbow and said, "See you later."

"Yeah," Songbird said with a nod, guessing that she was not invited to help James and Daryl do whatever the heck they were going to do in the garden.

Walking down the stairs she realized she was going to cry, she was going to cry pathetic sobs of unrequited love. She resolved therefore not to that shit alone.

"Lucky?" she asked, when she found her friend playing a video game. "Can we talk for a second or two?"

"Kay," Lucky said, not really taking her gaze off the game.

"I had watch with Daryl today," Songbird said.

"I guess that made you happy," Lucky said, "Ooo! Look at that, right in the head!"

"That's great," Songbird replied, sniffling. "But no, watch with Daryl didn't make me happy."

"Why not?" Lucky questioned, finally pausing the game. "Are you crying?"

"No," Songbird lied, sniffling again. "I'll tell you why it didn't make me happy, Lucky."

She didn't get through it without tears, but she told Lucky about the fight they'd had about her sparring with Freddy and her request to be friends.

"Why did you ask him to be your friend if you didn't want to be friends?" Lucky asked.

"I don't know!" Songbird wailed. "I just wanted him to talk to me again! And now he's being all weird toward me and I don't know how to fix it!"

"Maybe you should let him fix it," Lucky said with a shrug. "He's the man. Why do you worry so much about him anyway? I mean, don't take this the wrong way…but he's not exactly…"

"He is!" Songbird said. "Lucky, he's amazing. He makes me feel safe and he's…well he's the only guy I've ever um…done anything with."

"Well, you're only 18," Lucky laughed. "I wouldn't imagine that you'd really have a lot of sexual experience under your belt, as it were. And also, let's face it, if this was still the real world, you probably wouldn't be as interested in going the long haul with Daryl Dixon…"

"Why not? What do you think is so wrong with Daryl?" Songbird was offended.

"Nothing, I guess," Lucky said. "Sometimes he's kind of a jerk apparently, but I'm just saying that since you're so young, it probably would have come to an end even if the two of you had done the deed…"

"Well, my mom was only 15 when she had me," Songbird said.

"Really?" Lucky was kind of surprised that Songbird was just volunteering information about herself.

"Yeah," Songbird drew her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them. "My dad was real asshole."

"Want to tell me about it?" Lucky asked, hoping she didn't look too eager to get the dirt on someone nobody really knew anything about.

"Well, I kind of got the story second hand," she said. "My mama died when I was 10. But from what I know of the story Mama grew up in California. Her parents were Catholic…like super strict Catholics. She met my dad, a guy named Jack Phelps if you're interested, at her after school job as a cashier at the grocery store. He was twenty five."

"Wow," Lucky said.

"Yeah, well. He was a traveler, cause he was a loser. She started…doing stuff with him and he talked her into traveling with him. She ran away with him, all the way to Ohio for some reason. Then she got pregnant. When she told him, he packed his stuff and got right the hell out of there."

"So what did her parents do?" Lucky asked.

"She called home and got told that since she was a whore, she and her illegitimate child could suffer the wrath of God or something. She lived on the streets for a while. Things looked up eventually," Songbird went on. "And I don't think she could have raised me better."

"How did she die?" Lucky asked, patting her friends shoulder, not wanting to point out that she'd just outlined exactly why an age difference could be an issue.

"Cancer," Songbird answered, swallowing hard. "We didn't know until it was too late."

Tears welled in her eyes again and she threw her arms around Lucky and sobbed. She missed her mama, she missed Daryl being the one to comfort her, and she wanted the world to be a less hurtful, less terrifying place again. She hadn't realized how much she needed to cry until she felt safe enough to let her guard down.

She felt Lucky pat her back a few times and eventually she sat back up, wiping her face on her sleeve and taking a shaky breath.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"It's okay," Lucky said, "I think we've all had one of those. An apocalypse is hell on the nerves."

Songbird grinned shakily and nodded.

"So…kill more stuff and I'll watch," she said. "It'll make me feel better."

After watching Lucky play Red Dead Redemption for a while she sighed and said, "You know what would make me feel even better?"

"What?"

"Karaoke," she answered seriously.

"You said that watching me kill things would make you feel better," Lucky said. "It's certainly making me feel better."

"Seriously. We could have a party."

"A party in my room?" Lucky asked dubiously.

"And everyone's invited!" Songbird said with a grin.

"I don't know about people…people in my room," Lucky responded.

"It'd be fun," Songbird said, trying to sound as convincing as possible, as she nudged Lucky in the ribs.

Lucky looked thoughtful, so Songbird stayed quiet.

"Fine. Fine," Lucky said with a martyred sigh. "But they have to stay in this room."

"Cool! So, who are we inviting?"

"I thought you said everyone's invited," Lucky answered.

"Well, okay…it's your room. This will be so much fun Lucky!"

"Is that your only argument for this? Fun? Or is that the only adjective you know?" Lucky jibed.

"Fun is the only adjective I need," Songbird defended herself. "That's what this will be or my name isn't…well…or I'm not known as Songbird!"

"Nice save there," Lucky stated dryly.

"I do try. Now, when are we doing this?" Songbird was eager to get started on planning the party.

"That all depends," Lucky answered. "Do you want me to fold the seats down and make a dance floor or do you want to leave the theater seating?"

"Dance floor," Songbird answered as if it should have been obvious.

"Okay," Lucky said, turning off the game and standing up. "Then you can have your party whenever you get done with that."

"Dang," Songbird looked at the chairs, there were 9 all together and she had no idea where to even begin. But still…for a chance to have a party, she'd try it. She got up and began examining the seats.

Lucky rolled her eyes and sighed as she explained, "They work like minivan seats."

"Oh," Songbird kept staring at the chairs, hoping for inspiration.

Lucky walked back over, pushed one lever, pulled another and shoved the seat down with her foot.

"Oh!" Songbird did the same and soon enough the seats had disappeared, Lucky hid what was left of the seats with a dance floor veneer cover.

"Perfect," Songbird said. "Now we have to go invite people and then get ready."

"I'll leave the invitations to you," Lucky responded. "I'll just be getting ready."

She walked down the hall looking for people to invite; nobody else seemed to be quite as excited as she was, except James who seemed to think it was amazing that Lucky had allowed this to happen. But, everyone she ran into agreed to be there after dinner. She couldn't find Rick or Daryl and the only place left to look was the room the guys slept in.

She knocked and said, "Hey Rick?"

"Yeah come on in," he called through the door.

"Hey," she said again when she saw Daryl sitting on the bottom bunk with Rick playing cards. "Me and Lucky are having a party and I think Lucky would like it if you were there."

"Where's Lucky right now?" Rick asked.

"Changing clothes," Songbird answered. "So will you go to the party?"

"Sure," Rick said, as if it should have been obvious. "When?"

"After dinner," she said. "And you should, you know, look good."

"Gee, Songbird," Rick drawled. "I know I'm no Andrew Lincoln but I clean up nice I swear."

"I know!" she blushed. "I just meant…you know…we might be dressed up... and you might want to look nice. But don't shave."

Rick laughed and said, "Why?"

"Because," she said flatly. "You're a man."

"I'll keep that in mind," he answered. "I might go do that cleaning up now and leave you two alone."

He stood up; ignoring the death glare Daryl was giving him for leaving him along with Songbird and leaving the room in hopes of catching Lucky.

"Well," Songbird said after a few moments of silence in which Daryl put the cards away. "Will I see you after dinner? I mean at the party not just…you know," she trailed off wondering why she came off as such an idiot around him lately.

"Oh, you invitin' me now?" he asked, trying not to show how relieved he was.

"Sure, I meant it as a group invitation. Pretty much everyone is going to be there and we're going to have karaoke and Lucky made a dance floor and it's going to be…fun. That's the best way to describe it. Fun." Under her breath she continued, "Screw other adjectives. Fun is what it is."

"Am I supposed to get cleaned up?" Daryl asked.

"If you want," she said with a smile. "But not too much."

"No shavin'?" he questioned as she started to walk out.

"I don't see the need," she called back, walking down the hall with a smile, trying to figure out what to do with the time left before the party, she figured she had enough spa type stuff to do a facial and mess around with her hair and nails.

To her surprise, when she walked into the room the bathroom door was still locked; Lucky didn't usually take such long showers. She decided to wait for her to emerge. When it happened a few minutes later, Songbird wished she had found something else to do with her spare time. Lucky was not alone. Lucky, who was wrapped in another of her big pink towels was accompanied by Rick who was apparently very interested in removing the towel from her.

"I…uh…didn't know you were in there together or I…" Songbird was totally humiliated and unable to look at either of them.

To her surprise Lucky didn't seem angry, she just gave her a grin. That sealed the deal. She'd probably had sex.

"Yeah, well…I was just leaving." Rick gave Lucky a kiss, and then walked out of the room.

Songbird kept her eyes on her sneakers until the door closed, then she glanced up with a grin. Lucky just had to tell her what it was like! She'd practically promised! She raised her eyebrows at Lucky in a "so tell me" expression, but Lucky just shrugged and began brushing her hair.

"So that's it?" Songbird asked, walking toward the bathroom. "You get down and dirty with Rick in the shower and now you aren't going to tell me anything?"

"We didn't go all the way," Lucky said after a moment. "I got scared."

"Scared? What the hell is there to be scared of?" Songbird was shocked. Lucky didn't seem like the type to back away from an experience due to fear, Songbird wondered if there was more to losing your virginity than she thought. Maybe there _was_ something scary about it.

"The only experience I've ever had with this kind of thing is with…myself." Lucky was on the defensive, stumbling over her words. "From all the stories I've ever heard, the first time hurts. Forgive me if I freaked out a little bit."

"I didn't mean… I guess I didn't think about that." Songbird said sort of under her breath, she could see how the experience might hurt a bit. Based on the size of Daryl's…uh…thing. She had no idea about Rick, but she assumed that they would be similar. That thought dealt with, she moved on to more important matters. "So, what did you do then?" she asked playfully. "Did you…" She looked around before, knowing Shane and Lori's habit of sneaking up, before she asked, "Did you go down on him?" Another experience she really, really wished she'd had before Daryl decided she wasn't worth his time. It seemed like an awesome thing to do.

"Uh, no." Apparently Lucky didn't share her opinion, but she remained thoughtful for a few moments after that.

"So?" Songbird interrupted, wondering just what they had been doing to make Lucky and Rick seem so dang happy.

"So, I need to put clothes on and you need to take a shower," Lucky informed her in a business like fashion. "People are going to be filing into my game room soon; we should at least be dressed when they do. We'll have plenty of time to talk about this later."

Songbird was disappointed that Lucky wasn't going to give her any intel; wasn't there a code? Didn't virgins owe it to one another to spill the beans when it came to sex?

Lucky didn't seem to share that idea either, so Songbird walked away, getting in the shower and wondering exactly what had happened between her friend and the cop.

She didn't have a chance to talk to Lucky during supper, which was fairly skimpy, and then it was time for the party, and everyone filed into what had been a theater room.

"People say I love karaoke because I'm Asian," Glenn said, looking at the stage and karaoke machine. "But that's not true. I love karaoke because it's freakin' awesome!"

"Is that your way of asking to go first?" Songbird said. "Because if so, rock on."

Glenn took the stage and, to everyone's surprise, belted out a fairly decent version of "You Shook Me All Night Long."

"Hey, that was good!" Songbird said when he was finished.

"Thanks!" he answered, looking to the stage as Dale went up and began crooning, "It Had to Be You." "Want to dance, Songbird?"

"Sure," she let Glenn lead her to the middle of the floor as Dale sang. She noticed the way Andrea smiled at him and hoped for the best for them.

Dancing with Glenn was fun; he was a pretty good dancer. Even though the song was slow he kept a respectful distance and since Daryl had just walked in, she was a bit relieved. Halfway through the song she snuck a closer look at Daryl. He'd taken her advice about cleaning up. He had on khaki pants and a dark red button up shirt and he looked sort of uncomfortable. But not mad, thank God. She waved and he nodded back at her.

Daryl thought she looked really pretty. She'd put her hair up again, but she'd left long pieces of it down around her shoulders and done something to them, curled them he guessed, so that they fell in long ringlets around her face and down her back. He didn't know where she'd gotten the dress but he liked it. It fit her slender body just right and came somewhere near the tops of her tall black boots. He was thankful for that, but he was pretty nervous about being at a party after all these years. He wandered over to the wall and leaned there, watching people dance.

When Dale's song was over, T-dog took the mike and began "Let's Get It On."

Daryl glanced at Songbird and wondered if he remembered how to dance. While he was still figuring it out, that prick Freddy walked over and asked her instead. Bastard.

Songbird was surprised at how great T-dog sounded and how well Freddy danced.

"You look pretty tonight, Songbird," Freddy said, leaning down and speaking into her ear so she could hear him.

"Thanks," she answered, giving Daryl a glance.

He didn't look like he was going to leave, but nor did he look thrilled. She resolved again to enjoy the party and not worry. She and Daryl were…friends or whatever.

When T-dog was finished Andrea walked over and pushed Songbird to the stage saying, "You know you want to."

She did, but she hadn't put on her performance personality in a while. She felt vaguely nervous as she walked onto the small stage and looked for a good song. She settled on one that reminded her of Daryl and took a deep breath, slipping into her show persona.

The music helped and she began to dance just a bit, making sure to catch Daryl's eye.

"Confidence is a must,

Cockiness is a plus,

Edginess is a rush,

Edges I like 'em rough."

Daryl watched her singing; he watched her go from his cute little Songbird to a woman who was really fuckin' hot. She sang the song in a smoky voice and she looked like she was singing it right at him.

"Interesting sense of style,

Ten million dollar smile,

Think I can handle that,

Animal in the sack."

Daryl swallowed hard at the way she purred her lyrics. And she was still sending those glances his way. Maybe she wanted to be a bit more than friends. And maybe he was reaching. He just listened to the rest of the song, deciding to enjoy now and worry later.

When her song was over, she was surprised when everyone clapped so she made a small curtsey and turned the microphone over to Lucky. She saw Freddy headed her way, but Daryl intercepted her before Freddy got there.

"You wanna dance?" he said.

"Sure!" she was thrilled.

Then they started dancing. Daryl was a really terrible dancer. She mostly concentrated on keeping her feet away from his steel toed boots.

"So, where'd the dress come from?" he asked.

"Lucky," she answered. "What do you think?"

"It's longer than the last one," Daryl said.

"That's true," Songbird shrugged as he dashed her hopes of being complimented.

"Looks good on you though," he finished roughly, wincing as he missed a step and stepped on her foot. "Sorry."

"It's okay," she said with a smile.

"I'm uh…sorry for more than being a shitty dancer," he said, clearing his throat.

"What?" Songbird looked at him in slight confusion.

"I was an asshole to you," he said in a rush. "I shouldn't have called you the stuff I called you when we had that fight about Freddy. I know you're not a slut and I didn't mind you bein' the places I was. I didn't mind sharin' my truck with you either."

"Thank you," Songbird said, giving him a brief hug. "That means a lot to me."

"You sleepin' with Freddy?" he asked.

"What?" her mouth dropped open. "Daryl!"

"I gotta know," he said. "We're _friends_ right? Friends talk about sex don't they?"

"I…Daryl you're the most confusing man in the world!"

"Well?" he asked, sort of holding his breath.

"No," she said. "I'm not."

He had no answer, and he was tired of attempting to dance, so he just pulled her a bit closer and sort of swayed. She relaxed now that her feet weren't in immediate danger and wondered if maybe this would be the night when things worked out between her and Daryl.

When Lucky was done she passed the microphone to Freddy and left the stage, punching him in the shoulder and looking around the room. Songbird figured she was looking for Rick but she was determined to talk to her and Daryl had walked away as soon as the dance ended, so she made a bee-line for her friend.

"You have to tell me," Songbird said seriously. "Honor the code!"

"What code?" Lucky asked.

"The virgin code. The best friend code. The code I made up so you have to tell me about sex," Songbird replied, grinning at the confusion on Lucky's face.

Lucky shushed her and then dragged her into an empty corner as she said, "I told you I didn't have sex!"

"You did something," Songbird said unrepentantly. "I want to know what."

Lucky blushed as she said, "We uh…let's just say that Rick is very good with his hands."

"Oh," Songbird was happy that Lucky'd had fun, but disappointed that she wasn't going to get the opportunity to learn about something new. She'd already experienced the wonder of second base after all.

"Is that all you wanted to know?" Lucky asked, starting to turn away, apparently still looking for Rick.

"I guess," Songbird said with a sigh. "You really don't handle girl talk well do you?"

"I guess not, I mean what did you want me to tell you? I can give you a play by play if you want to see how dark my blush can get," Lucky laughed.

"Are you good with your hands too?" Songbird asked after a moment, smiling suggestively. "Because I will have you know that I am."

"I'm uh…I'm good enough I guess. I kind of got the job done while I was getting done myself if you know what I mean. He didn't have any complaints," Lucky said after a moment.

"That's good then," Songbird said with a half smile. "Fun for all." It made her miss Daryl even more to go on with this line of thought and Freddy was nearly done with his song so she said, "Well…keep me posted and remember the code if you get brave enough to have sex."

Rooster and James took the stage and began singing "In My Life" by the Beatles and Dale walked over and held his hand out to Songbird.

"May I have this dance?" he asked with a smile.

"Sure!" Songbird smiled and stepped out onto the "dance floor" with Dale.

She noticed Daryl and Glenn talking in the corner and was surprised when Daryl gave a quick smile to something Glenn had said. She was relieved that he was having a good time. She was having a total blast! She loved to dance and she hadn't a chance to do anything fun in a really, really long time. She and Dale chatted and he promised to give her his history the next time they had a chance to sit down and talk.

"Hey," Freddy said when the dance was done. "Wanna do a duet?"

Daryl noticed Songbird's face light up when Freddy leaned down and spoke to her, and he wondered why until she and Freddy took the stage together. It took them a few seconds to agree on a song and Daryl was surprised at what they ended up with.

"Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor,

Reaching for the phone cause I can't fight it anymore,

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me it happens all the time."

She looked at Freddy when his verse came up and Daryl could see how much she enjoyed this kind of thing. And, just like dancing, it was something he couldn't do. Why should she want to be anything more than friends with him when they were so different?

He turned and walked out of the room, letting the combination of their voices remind him of why he'd never have her the way he wanted her. The only silver lining was that he knew she and Freddy weren't sleeping together. Maybe he'd have some time to get over her before they started doing that.

Songbird was disappointed that Daryl left and even more disappointed when, after just a few more songs, Rooster announced that their energy allowance was up. People starting heading off to bed and Lucky left Songbird to clean up, stating that since the party was her idea she should take responsibility for it.

Songbird was looking around when Freddy patted her shoulder and said, "I'll stay and help."

"Thanks," she said, feeling a bit better about the whole prospect.

"That was a good idea," he said once things were looking better. "The party was fun and you're a really good singer."

"My name would be an odd choice if I wasn't," Songbird replied with a smile.

"You're a good dancer too," Freddy went on.

"So are you," she said, pulling the last theater seat up and locking it in place.

"The party wouldn't have been the same without you," Freddy said, stepping up behind her.

"The party wouldn't have happened without me," she said with a slight laugh before turning to face him. "What a bunch of anti-social people we all…"

Freddy kissed her. She was so surprised that she didn't move back. He'd put his hands on her hips when he leaned in and her hands had moved to his chest on instinct so that she was braced against him. She allowed the kiss to continue because dancing with Daryl had made her skin tingle, but comparisons arose in her mind almost immediately.

Freddy was taller than Daryl and she liked the slight stretch in her body as she met his mouth. That was the only comparison in Freddy's favor though. Freddy's mouth was gentle and his kiss seemed to ask for permission. Daryl's mouth was firm and his kisses demanded her whole body, her whole being. Freddy was hesitant; Daryl was purposeful, determined even. When he kissed her he set out to melt her; Freddy seemed to be waiting for her to do something.

Freddy was waiting for it to feel like he was kissing someone who wanted to be kissed, or rather someone who wanted to be kissed by him. He'd had a crush on Songbird since they'd met up with the group and he'd waited for the right moment to kiss her, but the longer they kissed the more it became apparent that, even as her body responded to his, her heart and mind weren't even in the same room with him. That was crappy knowledge to have, especially since there weren't exactly a lot of other girls to hook up with. He toyed briefly with the idea of seeing how far she'd let him go…it wouldn't hurt to release some steam after all, but in the end he pulled back and looked down at her.

"Not the best kiss you've ever had is it?" he asked.

"Freddy…" she began, not wanting to insult him. It wasn't his fault he wasn't Daryl. And he was such a nice guy. "I'm sorry. It's my fault. I just…I just…"

"Is he at least good to you?" Freddy asked.

"Mostly," she said. "He's better to me than people know. He's always kept me safe. Freddy, I really am so sorry."

"I kind of am too," he admitted, brushing his fingers over her lips. "And if you ever change your mind and decide that you want to concentrate on kissing all of me…wait, that didn't come out right."

"I know what you mean," she said with a laugh. "You mean if I want to kiss you with all of me, not just my lips."

"Yes," Freddy said in relief. "That. If you want to do that, then you know where to find me."

"Sure," Songbird gave him a hug and then walked away into Lucky's room.

She undressed in the bathroom and washed her face, looking into the mirror. She wondered why she felt so guilty. Daryl had no real claim on her, but she had a feeling that Freddy would end up with an arrow in the ass if Daryl knew that Freddy had kissed her. She lay down in the big, cushiony bed and let out a frustrated breath. Why had he even asked if she was sleeping with Freddy? He should have known better. She figured that even though all they'd really done was kiss and get to what she figured was second and a half base, he'd effectively ruined her for any other man. Maybe when she was a little older he'd change his mind.

A/N: So it took me forever to update this time. I went to Dragon Con in Atlanta, GA. And it was fun and um…I met NORMAN REEDUS! Sigh…my life is complete. Seriously, I don't think I will need to do anything else ever. He shook my hand (4 times over the course of the weekend because I actually stood in the autograph line twice. One with my friend on Sunday and then for myself on Monday and he shook my hand twice each time) and he read my t-shirts both times and when I said I liked him, his response was, "I like you too, babe!" Squeeeeeeeeeeee Anyway:

Lucy Freebird: Lucky you! I have always wanted a Ridgeback!

Gurl3677: Yep, torturing Daryl has some perks…I just like messing with all my characters though, no lie!

Akuish: I waited a bit longer to post this chapter due to the above reason…hope everyone will forgive me!

Belladonna 925: Yeah, I hated Jacie and Deena too (even though I created them lol) and yeah, I like Songbird's soft heart too. I think every group needs a person like that…she can do what's necessary, but it doesn't mean that she has forgotten the way the world used to be. And I'm glad you liked the "Stop calling me stuff that I don't know what it is!" line. I was a little worried about how that would come off!

Miss Fierceness: Thanks! I like Daryl and Songbird together too (obviously lol) but tension is something I specialize in! Sorry it took me so long to update!


	20. Meeting Norman Reedus

This is the story of how I met Norman Reedus and what we talked about. It's copied from my Deviant Art journal that I wrote it in when I was down in Atlanta, so it's all totally fresh and how it actually happened. I journaled so I wouldn't forget ANYTHING!

Okay, so...I saw him at the Boondock Saints panel Friday and the Walking Dead panel today and then my friend decided to go over to the autograph tables (she got Steven Yeun's autograph and we both talked to him for a minute or two...great guy, really hilarious and genuine and sweet btw) and then she was looking at the pictures Norman Reedus had out on his autograph table. And THEN out of the blue...no joke, I wasn't staring like a crazed fan or anything honest to God, I was totally just standing there...

He stepped over to where I was standing and said, "Hi, I'm Norman."

I only did that on the inside, I swear. I could not believe it! Norman Reedus introduced HIMSELF to ME.

We shook hands; I said something like, "Yeah, hey!"

He said, "Is that a Bright Eyes shirt?"

I said something in the affirmative, because it was.

He said he knew the band, told me that the guy in the band just got married.

I said, "That's cool! You learn something new every day." (I'm an idiot; I know)

He smiled and kind of chuckled and said, "Yeah!"

Then he was talking to my friend about autographs and then...

He shook my hand AGAIN and said, "I was really nice to meet you."

And we had to walk away, cause there were other people.

He has the BEST handshake! I _knew_ it looked like he has great hands and he freakin' does! And he's just so nice and his voice is so great and after I walked away I realized that I didn't even tell him that I watch his show or his movies or that I even knew who the heck he was! And I didn't tell him my name.

BUT, I also didn't fangirl squee right in front of him or giggle like an idiot or pass out. Or yawn (which I do when I'm nervous for some reason). And if he's there tomorrow, I might go back and get his autograph when it's not crowded.

The Next Day:

The line wasn't really long but I had to decide which picture of him I wanted and that was NOT an easy choice. There were so many! There were ones from The Boondock Saints, ones from The Walking Dead, one of him and Lady Gaga from the Judas music video, one of him from Blade II...and I was agonizing over it until I saw the one I've actually been trying to find online in a large enough size to be my desktop background! It's from The Boondock Saints and it's the scene right after they have the dream and he and Connor are looking at each other in the prison cell, you know...the one where Murphy is looking right up at the camera? Omg yum.

Anyway, I picked that picture and paid his agent for it, and then stepped up and he said hi, and shook my hand again (sigh...great hands, just great hands!) and said he remembered us from yesterday(!) and asked who to make the autograph out to, so I just held my badge out because people always spell my name wrong and he looked at it and said my name (he said it right...which very few people do so yay for that) and then he says,

"That's a beautiful name."

I said, "Thank you. And yeah, I realized yesterday when I met you I gave no indication that I even knew who you were or that I've seen anything that you're in. But I do. And I have. And I like you."

And he smiled and looked right at me and said, "I like you too, babe."

(in my head)

Then, he starts to hand me the picture and then he says, "Let me read your shirt."

I moved my badge and let him read it, (because the idea of Norman Reedus staring at my chest isn't terrible at all. What a shock right?)

I said, "Yeah, please comment on my shirt! I love this shirt and no one ever reads it!" That is totally true. The shirt is great, it's got what looks like a comic book panel in the middle with an awesome joke about a mongoose vs. a cobra which I won't go into here...because it's hardly the point of this journal. (Except I will explain it now, since people seem interested, Lol! Across the top it says "Mongoose Vs. Cobra Ultimate Death Match" and then there is a drawing that looks like a comic book panel in the middle with the mongoose and cobra and the cobra has a speech bubble that says, "Please! I have a wife and kids…and no arms." and he's got like a little wallet in his fangs with pics of his family. And the mongoose has a speech bubble that says, "I…I just want to love." and underneath the comic panel it says, "Let the bloodbath begin! Whoo!"

So he finishes reading it and laughs and says, "That's really great. Is that, like, an ongoing comic?"

I said, "Honestly, I don't know. I bought the shirt in Hot Topic a few years ago because it had a mongoose and a cobra on it...I don't know if it was ever a real comic or not. I just think no one reads it because it's kind of long."

He said, "Yeah, but it's funny!"

I smiled and nodded and then my friend asked if I wanted her to take our picture and I said yes, so she did. And it's going to be on here (and everywhere else I am online) very shortly!

He leaned over the table and I leaned back a bit...touching. There was touching. And it was f-ing AWESOME! My back was kind of against his shoulder and chest...He's all warm and comfy feeling (lol I know I'm an idiot) but really...he is! And, even though I know he's a smoker, he totally didn't smell like cigarettes at all!

Then when my friend took the picture, I turned around and said, "Well thank you, and I'm really excited for the new season, especially episode 6!"

He said, "Thanks babe! It was nice to meet you again."

I said, "You too. Thanks!"

And I had to leave. And now, I won't ever see him again probably. But he called me babe (Twice). I mean, granted...it's probably just what he calls chicks...but dang it was nice to hear! And he said he liked me...again, probably just something he says. But oh the way he says it...  
>One last fangirl squee:<p>

I love him even more now than I used too. And that's both good and bad, I guess.

But, insider information here, on the panel on Sunday, Norman Reedus said that in Season 2 episode 6, Daryl has a kill that is so amazing that he and Andrew Lincoln looked at each other when the filming was over and agreed that people are going to throw up in their mouths a little when they see it. How great is that? 


	21. Chapter 19

Songbird had watch a few days later with Lucky.

"What's up with the notebook?" Lucky asked, looking out at the rain that had been falling since last night, according to T-dog and Dale, who'd had the watch before.

"Oh, I'm not sure where my laptop bag has gotten to," Songbird frowned briefly.

"It's in Daryl's truck," Lucky said. "Remember? You put the bag in there when we brought Michelangelo home."

"That's right!" Songbird's face lit up as she admitted, "I've been freaked out over not being able to find it."

"You could have just asked somebody," Lucky pointed out dryly.

"I figured I'd run across it," Songbird defended herself. "I don't like to push my problems onto other people. Anyway, the notebook is because it's your turn to give me your history. I can type it up later."

"My turn?" Lucky arched her eyebrow.

"Yes. I'm not a tabloid journalist!" she protested when Lucky didn't look convinced. "I have a few basic questions, but it's really up to you as to what history will recall about you. Who else ever gets a chance like this?"

"All right, fine. What are your basic questions?"

"Full name, age, addresses, physical description if you're the photo shy type…and I don't think you are," Songbird said thinking back to the pictures in the sparring room. "Where you were when the whole thing started and how you knew something was up, and a brief bio of whatever you want to tell me."

"Lucille Mackensie," Lucky said. "I'm 26…" she gave her old Mississippi address as well as her Clemson University address and the address of the compound and then said, "And I'll just let you take a picture rather than try to describe myself."

Songbird nodded, writing fast and then saying, "And where were you when the apocalypse started and how did you know what had happened?"

"Fred and I were in San Antonio at a weapons convention," Lucky began. "When the news hit there was kind of a panic, which is expected. But then, we were at a weapons convention and people there are generally smarter than usual. They decided to lock the doors so the dead people couldn't get in. It took about 3 weeks for the food reserves to go down enough for people to start to go crazy. At the first really big gunfight over a can of beans, Freddy got me the hell out of there. After that, we were on the road, met you guys and you already know everything that happened from there."

"So, is there anyone you lost that you want to mention?"

"My mother Gloria and her husband Mike. Freddy's half brother Jonas, Jonas's wife, Patty. Mira and Don, Freddy's parents…other than that, I can't be sure," Lucky finished up.

"Anything else about yourself that you want to live in history?" Songbird asked after she'd written down everything Lucky had told her.

"I'm not a lesbian."

"Really? That's it?" Songbird said with a laugh.

"No, that's just information for you," Lucky answered. "I have better aim than Freddy. Everyone should know that."

Songbird shook her head and wrote the sentence down, closing the book.

"And, I think I'm in love with Rick Grimes," Lucky whispered.

Songbird made sure that Lucky didn't see it, but she wrote that down too.

Freddy walked in sometime later and gave Lucky a sideways grin as he said, "I've got a challenge for you, my sweet little Songbird."

"And what's that?" she asked in surprise.

"I will require privacy for this challenge," he continued, giving Lucky a pointed glance.

"Fine, fine," she said holding up her hands. "Good luck Frederick."

"What in the world are you planning?" Songbird asked.

"First off, I want to teach you to shoot a bow," he said. "Because you should have another skill in case you run out of knives. Bows are also a better long range weapon…"

"You don't have to sell me on a bow," Songbird interrupted. "I traveled with Daryl Dixon. What else is there?"

"I want to know your real name," Freddy admitted. "So I'm going to set up a target and if you can't hit it you have to tell me your name."

Songbird laughed and said, "Whatever Freddy, you've seen my accuracy! How different can a bow be?"

Three failed attempts later, Freddy looked at her with his eyebrows raised. She sighed and stood on tiptoe, whispering her name in his ear and finishing up with, "And I swear to all that is good and holy Frederick Mackensie I will kill you if you tell anyone. And you know how good I am with a knife!"

He rubbed his hand over his mouth, looking down at her and attempting to keep from laughing as he held one hand up and said, "I do solemnly swear to never tell anyone that your name is…"

"Don't say it!" she exclaimed. "Just show me how to shoot! And, since you're bugging me…you have to give me your history for the thing I'm doing."

"So in other words, my day off just became watch duty?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm a vengeful girl," Songbird replied. "So," she picked the notebook up and said, "I already know your name, age, address, and where you were when everything started."

"How'd you know that?" he asked.

"Lucky. Now…what do you want future generations to know about you?"

"I'm a better shot than Lucky. The world needs to know that!" he continued when she laughed. "It's important."

"Fine," she said as she wrote. "The world will know your opinion on the subject."

"It isn't my opinion, it's a fact," Freddy crossed his arms over his chest and nodded sagely. "Now, about the bow…"

Daryl looked up from the knife he was sharpening and saw Lucky walking by with the inevitable juice box.

"Thought you had watch with the Songbird," he said.

"I did," she answered walking past him.

"It's over?" he asked knowing that it wasn't and wondering where Songbird was. She stuck pretty close to Lucky lately.

"No, she and Freddy wanted to be alone," she answered, stopping for a moment and leaning against the doorframe.

"What the fuck for?" he asked in surprise.

"I don't know," Lucky said, "She wanted him to show her something."

"What's there to see?" Daryl asked, trying desperately not to lose his temper, even though he thought that she was being vague on purpose.

"Don't look at me like that," Lucky ordered. "I really don't know what's happening! All I know is that she said she wanted to be alone with him and he looked happy about it. I also know that I am enjoying your discomfort. Is that so wrong?"

"Why would you be enjoyin' this?" he demanded; he hadn't thought that Lucky hated him or anything.

"You've caused her so much pain; it's nice to see that she's causing a little pain for you too," Lucky said genuinely, with no malice in her tone.

Daryl stared at her; there was a lot of information in those few sentences. For one thing, Songbird and Freddy might be fucking right this second and for another Lucky thought that he'd hurt Songbird on purpose.

"Huh," Lucky said, glancing at him with her head tilted before she walked away.

A few hours later, Songbird and Freddy came into the room. Some other members of the group had come in as well, but Daryl had remained where he was, silent and increasingly furious as conversation flowed around him. They all knew him well enough to know what he looked like when he didn't want to talk.

"I never would have thought about doing it like that," Songbird said to Freddy as they walked past Daryl. She was speaking in a low tone, but he heard every word.

"It's all about the tension," Freddy said. "If you build enough tension, one touch is all you need."

"Well, I just want to thank you," Songbird said throwing her arms around Freddy. "It seems like it took forever, but it was so worth it!" She was thrilled that she'd managed several solid hits on the targets Freddy had given her.

"Well you know I aim to please!" Freddy said with a grin; she'd been easy to teach, as he'd expected. Aim really wasn't that much different and she had patience and great hand eye coordination. He was thinking that he might make her a bow for Christmas.

"That you do!" Songbird replied with another laugh.

"You're fuckin' him?" Daryl asked, his voice cutting across the room. He'd never been so angry in his whole life. He'd asked her! He'd asked her and she'd said no!

All conversation in the room instantly stopped and Songbird blushed as all eyes fell on her. She was glad the kids weren't in the room, but it was humiliating to have Glenn, Dale, Andrea, and Rooster stare at her that way.

"What?" she couldn't believe that he had the audacity to ask her that again. "That's not really of your business is it?"

"Not my business?" he asked in a controlled yell. "You're fuckin' this little prick and it's not my business?"

"Hey I'm…" Freddy began.

"You put your hands on Songbird and now you're tryin' to talk to me?" Daryl asked, turning his glare on Freddy.

"Songbird?" Freddy repeated, "I can't believe you haven't even bothered to find out what her real name is!"

"She won't tell anybody what her goddamn name is!" Daryl defended himself.

Freddy shrugged and said, "Meh," as he subtly pointed to his chest with both hands.

"What the _fuck_?" Daryl stood up and approached Freddy. He wasn't exactly sure what he was going to do when he got there, but he figured that Freddy wouldn't like it much.

Songbird really wished that Freddy hadn't done that; she knew Daryl was furious now, and he actually had reason to be. She bit her lip; she'd heard the group talk about Daryl's temper but she had never really seen it in action before. It was actually kind of hot, in a sort of scary way that is.

"Why are you mad at me? You're the one who hasn't been talking to her!" Freddy said, standing his ground even though he looked wary.

"How the hell can I when you're all over her all the damn time?"

"Hey hey!" Lucky interjected. "Why don't the two of you go somewhere that isn't near my brother and work this out?"

Daryl turned and walked out of the room. He couldn't remember ever being this angry in his whole life. He wanted to kill Freddy, and he felt sick over the thought of someone else touching his innocent little Songbird. He climbed up the ladder, trying to think of what to say to her.

Songbird followed him up the ladder and into the cabin shell over the compound. She looked at Daryl, waiting for him to speak, but to her surprise, he yanked her out the door. It was still raining. Actually, it was raining harder than it had been. And there was thunder and the occasional slash of lightening to illuminate the night sky. She'd forgotten her jacket and he'd never had his. The cold rain instantly soaked through her clothes as he dragged her along behind him; with the storm there was no moon to light the way. She could barely see anything.

"Where are we going?" she asked breathlessly.

He wasn't sure. He wasn't sure why he'd dragged her out into the rain when he still had no idea what he was going to say, and when it was this damn cold. It felt like ice water against his body, but at least it cooled the rage a bit. He stopped when he got to the truck, considering that he wasn't sure where the land mines were after that.

"Why did you tell him your real name?" Daryl asked; it wasn't where he'd planned to start, but he didn't think he could handle hearing her admit that she'd let that prick Freddy put his hands on her…that she'd let him inside her.

"I…" she began, but he interrupted her.

"Never mind, I don't care about that. What is your real name?" he demanded, to hell with whatever the fuck Freddy had said or done to gain her confidence.

"I'm not going to tell you!" Songbird said.

Daryl punched the truck; Songbird flinched at the strength in the movement and at the huge clap of thunder that followed the hit.

"Goddammit! Fuckin' tell me!" Daryl yelled.

"No!" she said speaking a bit louder so he could hear her over the rain that was coming down even harder, stinging her skin.

"Why not?" Daryl clenched his hands to avoid grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her. "Why won't you tell me anything about you? Why the fuck did you tell that little prick?"

"He asked!" she said. "We had a …"

"I asked!" Daryl interrupted. "Every time I ask you about yourself you give me that 20 questions bullshit!"

He had her there; she was rattled and confused. Daryl had never been like this with her. He'd yelled at her before, sure but never, ever like this. He sounded like he was on the verge of seriously losing it. She started to tremble, wondering if she should be afraid of him. She had, after all, seen what his brother was capable of.

"Tell me!" he demanded, and, when she still didn't answer, he reached out and shook her, seeing her biting her lip in the next flash of lightening. "Tell me your name! Tell me what you used to do!"

"No!" she shouted, trying to keep her voice from shaking. "I won't!"

"Why not?" he bellowed in frustration.

"I'm ashamed of it, Daryl!" Songbird answered. "I hate the way people used to look at me! I never wanted you to know what I did because I didn't want you to look at me the same way! And, I honestly just hate my name, it's awful and hard to explain and I told him because I didn't care what he thought and I care…I care very much what you think!"

He wanted to be moved but he was still too angry. He could barely see through the rain and the fury.

"Did you fuck him?" he demanded, bracing himself.

"Why do you care?" she said, looking up at him, squinting in the rain. "You didn't want me!"

Daryl punched the side of the truck again, making Songbird cringe as she saw blood stream down over his knuckles and drip off his fingers, washing away quickly in the rain only to continue bleeding freely.

Damn it! It hurt to know that Freddy had put his hands on her smooth skin, that Freddy had been the one to take her virginity. He'd considered that his right; he realized he sort of considered her his property, even though that probably wasn't something the average woman wanted to hear.

"I'm going back inside," she said shakily, when he didn't speak; the storm was worsening, the next clap of thunder made it feel like the ground was shaking under her feet and the lightening was following even quicker.

"The fuck you are," he answered, yanking her back. "Are you in love with him?"

"Freddy?" she asked. "No, I'm not in love with Freddy!"

"Then this was just about not dying a virgin? Is that why you…"

"I didn't have sex with him, Daryl! He was teaching me to shoot!" she yelled. When he looked like he didn't believe her she repeated it, more emphatically. "I never slept with him and I don't love him!"

"You damn well better not!" he said forcefully. "And you know what? I don't give a fuck if you do! You're mine! Do you fuckin' understand me? You're _mine_!" He didn't care whether it pissed her off; he didn't care if it freaked her out. He'd be damned if anyone else was ever going to touch her.

"Don't say that!" Songbird shouted. "You don't mean it! You've hated me ever since Merle died! You blame me for what happened!"

"I do not blame you for what happened with him!" Daryl yelled. "_You_ should blame _me_! My brother almost killed you! You think I didn't see how scared you were? You think I don't know how close he was to hurtin' you? I just stood there! I couldn't do a fuckin' thing to stop him! You wanted me to protect you and I couldn't even do that! I let you down that day and God knows I tried to stay away from you after that! You kept comin' back like a fuckin' boomerang! And now I don't give a damn! Nobody else is gonna touch you! You're mine! You get that?"

"If you meant that you'd _treat_ me like I was yours! Mary Jane gets more time and attention than I do! I wish to God that I _was_ yours, Daryl! You're the one I'm in love with!" Songbird yelled right back.

"You…what?" Daryl couldn't believe what he was hearing. He knew that she'd wanted him, he knew that she liked him even…but he'd never once believed that she would feel like that…about him.

Songbird did her best not to cry as she said, "I love you. I've loved you for a really long time and you don't care! You don't give a damn about me! You avoid me and you're mean to me and…"

He kissed her, pushing her back against the truck, burying his fingers in her rain soaked hair and yanking her head back so that she had no choice but to return his kiss. She wasn't sure how she should feel. She supposed she should be angry with him, or that she should be pushing him away. Instead she moaned against his lips, and raised her hands to grip his arms.

Daryl was relieved to know that she wasn't going to make him stop. He was still twice her age, he was still white trash, and he still thought that she would be happier with Freddy, but fuck that! She was in love with him! She _loved_ him. He hadn't fucked it up; he hadn't lost her. And now she was going to be his. He was finally going to have what he had been desperate for.

He slid his hands down her slight body, groaning when he cupped her breasts for the first time. They were fuller than they had been, since she was eating regularly, but he guessed that she'd always be on the slim side. He wasn't complaining though.

She gasped when he touched her; no one had ever touched her there before. Songbird felt Daryl brush his thumbs over her nipples through her soaked shirt and she tightened her grip on his arms. He pulled back from the kiss, yanking her button up shirt open and pulling it off of her, letting it fall to the ground and doing the same with her bra. He wanted to see her…all of her. Songbird moved to cover her breasts and he caught her wrists, easily holding her still and looking at her.

"Daryl," she whispered, squirming under his gaze. "What are you doing?"

"Lookin'," he said. "Seein' if you're everything I been imaginin' all this time."

She was more. The rain slicked down her body, the cold made her nipples tighten, and she was looking at him in a combination of arousal and that shyness that he thought was sexy as hell. He was the only one who'd made her feel this way, the only one who'd seen her like this; God it was intoxicating.

"Am I?" she asked timidly.

"Darlin', you make my mouth water," Daryl said. "I don't know what I want to do with you first."

He leaned in and kissed her, cupping her breasts in his hands again, feeling her shiver with pleasure. He moved down much too soon for her liking, but she didn't think to protest after a moment.

The lightening followed the thunder so close now that sound and light were almost simultaneous. Daryl yanked his shirt off, dropping it to the grass beside hers. Songbird admired the way the rain tracked over the muscles of his arms and chest, reaching out to run her hands over his shoulders and down as he unbuttoned her jeans. He lowered his lips to hers again, unable to stop kissing her for more than a few moments. He'd missed her taste; a combination of the mint Blistex she held on to like it was worth more than gold and a sweet flavor that was just…his girl.

She'd missed this feeling. It was hurried and desperate and delicious and she was disappointed when he stepped back with a slight groan.

"What…" was all Songbird managed to say before he stepped around to the back of the truck, lowered the tailgate, and picked her up, sitting her down on it so he could pull her shoes off.

Once they were gone, he made quick work of her jeans, panties and socks.

"Get in," he said, kicking his boots off and dropping his own jeans to the ground before following her inside and closing the tailgate.

Songbird shivered, listening to the rain pounding the roof of the camper shell. It was a little warmer in the truck but not much. Rooster had mentioned that it was going to get below 40 degrees that night, but she wasn't worried about that.

"Cold?" Daryl asked, when he saw her small body shudder.

"No," she answered honestly. "Nervous…excited."

"I'm just gettin' started," he said, watching as she shivered again.

He pulled her up to her knees in front of him so that he could kiss her again, cupping the back of her neck to keep her exactly where he wanted her. He kissed her harder and she arched her body against him, her stomach brushing his cock. She went still when he groaned.

"No, don't stop, darlin'," he said against her lips.

He wanted her against him; he wanted to make up for all the times he hadn't touched her like this. When she obeyed, flexing her body against his again, he moved down, kissing her neck, aware that he was scraping her skin because he hadn't shaved since their first night in the compound, but also aware that she loved it, moving his hands back to her breasts and pinching her nipples.

"Oh!" Songbird gasped.

She hadn't known that it would feel this way, that pain could be pleasure, that his hands would be so rough on her sensitive skin. She was feeling nervous now that she knew this was actually going to happen, but the nervousness was getting buried quickly under the sensations his hands and mouth produced.

It had been so long since they'd really touched that her skin felt hungry for him. She wanted to make Daryl feel the way he made her feel, she wanted to touch him the way she had on their last night together.

Daryl groaned against her neck when he felt her hands on his chest, moving down, over his stomach, and lower; he sucked in his breath when she wrapped her hand around him. When he'd pictured this in his head, mainly in the shower lately, he'd pictured taking her slowly, spending time teasing her with his fingers or his tongue, making sure she was ready. Now he just hoped he could make it a decent amount of time before he exploded.

He pushed her backward and moved on top of her, bracing his weight on his elbows and taking her mouth again. She arched against him; her damp skin rubbed against his. It felt almost electrically good and he realized he couldn't wait any longer.

"Hold on!" she gasped when his hand slid down to her hip.

He tried to catch his breath as he drew back, hoping that she wasn't going to ask him to stop. He wasn't sure if the pounding he heard was the thunder and rain of the heavy storm or his own heartbeat. He couldn't remember ever being so anxious to be inside a woman.

"What is it?" he asked.

Songbird looked up at him, blushing even though he had her so turned on she couldn't wait to finish what he'd started.

"What about um…what about…" she trailed off, unable to say it.

"Oh," Daryl said blankly, realizing what she was talking about. "I don't have…"

"I do," she admitted shyly. "In the laptop bag."

He was surprised, but this wasn't exactly the time to talk about it. He sat back up and grabbed the bag, thankful that she'd left it in the truck after they got the dog. He pulled the bag toward him and unsnapped it. When he reached in, expecting to have to dig around, he was even more surprised and grateful to find that his fingers instantly touched exactly what he was looking for. He pulled the box out, it was one of those three packs you find in gas stations, and ripped it open.

Songbird looked at him, feeling nervous again. He'd been rough so far and she was a bit scared that he'd hurt her.

"Daryl?" she whispered when he moved back on top of her.

"What?" he asked, kissing underneath her ear and down her neck tasting the rain on her skin and breathing in the clean smell of her soap.

"Don't hurt me."

"I'll uh…do my best," he said, trying to force his mind to function. "Somebody had the talk with you right? I mean…you know how this works?"

"I know how sex works!" she exclaimed indignantly. "It's just…go easy on me, okay Daryl?"

God, he loved hearing her say his name.

"How 'bout you let me know if I need to stop?" he asked.

"Okay," she said, taking a deep breath, finally understanding why Lucky had been scared. It was different now that she knew it was actually going to happen…that something that size was going to be inside her. It was significantly bigger than her fingers, that was for sure.

He kissed her and shifted, feeling her gasp and tense up. He wasn't even inside her yet, just resting at the entrance and she was already stiff as a board underneath him.

"Relax for me, darlin'," Daryl said, trying to sound soothing and comforting, rather than desperate. "Otherwise, it's just gonna hurt more."

Songbird took another breath, concentrating on the boom and rumble of the storm and trying to remember how she'd learned to control her panic when she was working…

Daryl noticed her distraction and took advantage, pushing forward until she gasped again. He understood that one; she was fuckin' tight! He forgot his promise and pushed to the hilt quickly. Songbird squealed and he felt her nails dig into his arms. He winced.

"Sorry," he said, against her neck.

Songbird took a ragged breath; trying to get used to the feeling. It was weird, and as of yet, it didn't feel particularly good. As a matter of fact, it _hurt_. She swore he'd grown another 6 or 7 inches!

"Daryl," she whimpered, forcing herself to take another deep breath as her eyes watered. "I don't know if I can do this…it's…you're a lot bigger than I thought…"

"It'll get better," he promised, cupping her face in one hand, and bracing his weight on the other. "You trust me?"

Songbird nodded and gritted her teeth when he thrust for the first time. Even if it stayed this painful, she vowed not to ask him to stop. She wanted to be good at this for him. She could tell from his breathing and the set of his jaw that he wanted more than she could presently give him.

"Relax," he reminded her, wondering how the hell he was going to last with her clenched so tight around him that it was actually difficult to thrust. He'd never been with anyone that tight in his whole life! "I can't hardly move!"

"Kiss me again," she begged, hoping to distract herself from the pain and the weirdness of the feeling of something pushed that deep inside her. She could actually feel every inch of him and it was the strangest sensation she'd ever experienced.

He pressed his lips to hers and moved slowly, until he felt the tension in her body fade. To her relief, the pain had stopped and it was finally starting to feel worth the effort. She didn't really know what to do, but she figured that he would understand. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, feeling the muscles of his back move under her fingers. His skin, which had been cold from the rain, was now heating up, warming hers with it.

She glanced up; the camper windows were fogged over and it was now raining so hard that it looked like they were parked under a waterfall. At least she wouldn't have to worry about Lucky catching an eyeful in the event that she came looking for her. She tilted her hips and he groaned.

"Wrap your legs around me darlin'."

She did as he asked and gasped at the pleasure the movement brought.

"Better?" he asked when her nails dug into his shoulders as he continued to thrust deep and steady. He figured that it was, but he kind of wanted to hear her say it.

"Yeah," Songbird answered in amazement. It was a whole lot better in fact. She tilted her hips again; meeting his next thrust and listening to him groan low in his throat. They settled into a rhythm and soon pleasure like she'd never felt was tingling through her entire body; each time she thought it was as good as it could be, his next thrust or kiss proved her wrong. "Daryl it's…it's…oh God!"

He watched her carefully; she'd thrown her head back and he could feel her body flex against his. Daryl hadn't dared to hope it would be this easy…but then again, she'd cum awfully quick for him the last time too.

"Daryl!" she gasped his name the first time, squealed it the second, and screamed it the third.

"Oh yeah!" he felt her get tighter around him as her legs locked around him and her nails dragged down his back.

He fucked her as hard as he could; harder than he'd imagined for her first time, until he was lost in the scent of her, the sound of her saying his name, the tightness of her body around his…when he came he buried his face against her neck, finally able to say her name and have it be real, not a dream, not an encounter he'd feel guilty over later, just the pleasure of being inside her and knowing that she felt as good as he did.

"Ah, God yeah, Songbird," he groaned, pushing as deep as he could, pleased that she kept her legs locked around him.

When the last shudders of pleasure were over, he propped on his elbows again and looked down at her. He could feel her trembling underneath him and he cupped her face in his hands.

"You okay baby?" he asked, realizing now that it was over exactly how much force he'd taken her with. He hadn't meant to do that, not for her first time at least.

"Yeah," Songbird answered, trying to control the shaking. She didn't exactly know why she was shaking like that; she wasn't cold, or hurting. It was just…she'd never felt anything like what had just happened! "I didn't expect it to be like that."

"Like what?" Daryl asked nervously.

"Like…perfect," she answered, leaning up to kiss him; she couldn't believe how good it had turned out to be, especially since the beginning had nearly had her in tears.

He returned the kiss with relief and then rolled over, pulling her to him. She snuggled against him, wincing briefly at the movement.

"What about you?" she asked. "I mean…what about me?"

"You're pretty perfect yourself, darlin'," he said, kissing the top of her head, enjoying the afterglow of really great sex.

"Can we just sleep out here?" Songbird asked, not ready to attempt walking.

"Yeah," he said, glad that he wouldn't have to face the cold rain in his sleepy, relaxed state.

He still had all his blankets and pillows in the truck bed since the compound had come equipped with that stuff. He sat up, took off the condom, pulled several blankets over them and wrapped his arms around her again, pulling her back to his chest and kissing her neck. She entwined her fingers with his.

"Good night Daryl," she whispered.

"Umm-hmm," he murmured against her hair. "Night darlin'."

Songbird smiled at the pure satisfaction in his voice. Soon, she could tell by his breathing that he was asleep. She was tired too, but not exactly sleepy just yet. She listened to the rain, now lighter but still steady on the camper shell roof, and thought about the fact that she wasn't a virgin anymore. She felt achy from the waist down, even though she still felt great. Triumphant even. She snuggled back against him and closed her eyes. It felt nice to finally be back in the truck.

A/N: And there you have it. I hope people don't quit reading now that the sex is had…I've got a lot more planned for this story!

SaraLostInes: Thanks for the compliment on the t-shirt! I love it (even more now lol) And yes, I am so pumped up for the sixth episode! Can't wait to see what Daryl will be doing!

Azalia Fox Knightling: It was a _ridiculous_ fan girl moment for me…I was literally shaking. Lol

Belladonna925: Congrats on the job and I hope the baby is feeling better! It's terrible when little kids get sick…they get so sad. I WAS incredibly tempted to try to kidnap him…but if I go to jail who will finish this story? I have a major thing for hands too; I swear it all started with my mad crush on MacGyver when I was 5. If you go on Youtube and look up the theme song you'll see why. I never connected the MacGyver theme song with my hand obsession until last year and when I did, my mouth literally dropped open. It was a funny moment for me! And thanks for the pic compliment! I actually don't look awful which makes me happy, apparently the key to getting a good pic of me is to put Norman Reedus in the vicinity…that's not hard to do at all.


	22. Chapter 20

When Daryl woke up the next morning he couldn't figure out exactly why he felt so great and then he realized that he had the Songbird wrapped all around him the way she tended to sleep. And they were both naked. And he'd had sex for the first time in two freakin' years last night. And she was in love with him. His mood rapidly got even better and he stretched, feeling just plain awesome.

Songbird pressed her face against his chest and murmured in her sleepy, throaty voice. That voice turned him on like crazy but he figured he'd wait and see how she was feeling before he fucked her again.

"Mornin'," he said, brushing her hair back.

"Morning," she answered, looking up at him, a little shy.

"How you feelin'?" Daryl asked.

"Good!" Songbird said, then shifted, winced and said, "Okay, sore. But still good."

He kissed her neck and asked, "Does it hurt a lot?"

"No," she answered, snuggling against him. "I'm just kind of…"

She shivered as she spoke; when Daryl had moved he'd tugged the blanket away from her back.

"Cold mornin' ain't it?" he asked, pulling her closer and fixing the blankets so she would be covered up.

"Yeah," she responded, snuggling as close as she could to take advantage of his warmth. "I didn't notice how cold I got in the night."

"I did," Daryl said with a laugh. "All women lose half their body heat when they get in bed with a guy."

"Have you had, um…a lot of trouble with that?"

He swore he could feel her face heat up against his neck as she asked the question. It was a fair question, not that he wanted to answer it. She'd been a virgin and he didn't know how many she would consider "a lot."

He'd been quiet for what seemed like a long time and Songbird said, "Oh no, it's some crazy number right?"

"What's your idea of crazy?" he asked cautiously.

"I don't know…a hundred?"

He laughed again, drawing back to look at her face.

"I'm only 36 and I'm a construction worker, not a rock star," he said.

"So? Have you seen you?" she asked.

"I have glanced in the mirror a time or two lately," Daryl answered.

"Okay then," Songbird seemed to consider the case closed. "Then just tell me…I can take it."

She'd closed her eyes tightly but they opened in surprise when Daryl said, "8. Countin' you."

"Really?" she threw her arms around him, so relieved that she laughed.

He shook his head, smiling at her reaction as he continued, "Started when I was 15, two girls after that when I was high school age, three more around about my twenties, then Deena, and then you. You ever even kiss anybody before me?"

"Sort of," Songbird said. "There was this guy that I worked with when I was 17. He kissed me once. But not the way you do."

"Yeah?" he traced the full curve of her lips. "How'd he do it?"

"Like this," Songbird said, tilting her chin and brushing her lips over his without opening her mouth.

"And you like my way better?" he asked.

She knew now exactly what that look in his eyes was; if she'd been more experienced she would have known before that that glint in his eyes meant that he wanted her.

"Yeah," she answered, blushing but feeling a bit bolder than she had in the past.

"Hmmm," Daryl rolled over onto his back, pulling her so that she was braced over him, her unbraided hair falling over her shoulders and tickling his chest and stomach. "I don't know exactly how that goes. Maybe you oughta refresh my memory, darlin'."

"Well," Songbird whispered. "Usually, you start like this."

She pressed her lips to his and kissed him, grazing his lower lip with her teeth; she wasn't surprised when her control of the situation didn't last long. A few seconds after the kiss began he gathered her long hair in one hand and slid the other hand down to her ass, smacking it and enjoying her muffled squeal. He flipped her over, putting her underneath him again and continuing the kiss until he felt her grip tighten on his shoulders.

"I get it right?" he asked, "Or should I try it again?"

"One more," she said, thinking back to the night in Georgia on the tailgate.

He must have remembered too, because he gave her a smile before he kissed her once and then once again. And then once again. It was only when she shivered again that he forced himself to stop.

"We'd better get inside," Daryl said regretfully. "You're way too skinny to be out in this weather."

"I've gained four pounds," she said, grinning up at him.

"I'll start gettin' a party together," he said, glancing down at her.

Most of her body was visible, since the blankets had slid off when he'd rolled her onto her back. He could still see her ribs, but at least her hip bones didn't stand out so sharply anymore. He moved his gaze back up when he started to get distracted and glanced around the truck bed for a moment before realizing with dismay that their clothes were probably still out on the ground. At least he really hoped they were.

"What is it?" Songbird asked.

"Uh…how you feel about wet clothes?" he asked sheepishly. "I, uh, kinda forgot 'em last night and…"

Songbird just stared at him for a few seconds while realization dawned. Then she laughed, clapping her hand over her mouth. He grinned back at her, happy that she was that kind of girl. He got to his knees and looked out the camper window; when he saw that the coast was clear, he wrapped one of the blankets around himself and jumped out, picked up their clothes and jumped back in, closing the tailgate quickly. It really was cold out there. It was still early morning and their clothes were like ice. Songbird squealed when she attempted to pull her shirt on and then she shook her head determinedly.

"Not doing that," she said firmly.

"Well, darlin'," Daryl answered. "You don't have much choice."

He hadn't gotten dressed either though; she smiled when she noticed the way he was contemplating his jeans. They weren't likely to warm up much in the truck if that was what he was hoping for.

"I'll just wrap a blanket around me," she said. "I'm sure we can sneak in. It's not even time for breakfast yet."

He looked at her doubtfully and then shrugged and pulled his jeans on, sucking in his breath when the wet, cold denim met certain sensitive areas. Songbird laughed when she saw his stomach muscles contract as he let his breath out in a whoosh. He raised his eyebrow at her and she sat up, wrapping a blanket tightly around her several times and tucking it in securely.

"You gonna be able to get down the ladder in that?" he asked, abandoning the idea of putting on his shirt, he wouldn't be any warmer either way, that was for sure.

"I'll be fine," she said confidently.

He opened the tailgate, grabbed his boots and poured the water out of them before putting them on and giving Songbird his hand to help her out of the truck bed. When she scooted toward him he saw her wince and then blush beet red.

"What's the matter?" he asked in surprise.

"I…" she was totally humiliated, but she pointed back into the truck as she eased down; walking in general was proving to be a bit more challenging than she'd planned. She was still surprisingly sore.

He saw what she was talking about. There was a fair amount of blood on the sheet they'd been laying on.

"Don't worry about it darlin'," he said, giving her a quick kiss and hurrying her along, due to the fact that he was freezing. "I kinda expected it."

"So it's normal?" she questioned, feeling much less humiliated.

"You said you knew how sex worked!" Daryl stared at her in shock.

"Well, I had an idea of the basic mechanics," Songbird defended herself. "I knew enough to know I wanted to do it."

He shook his head and opened the cabin door, ushering her inside. They made it down the ladder with no mishaps and Songbird stood in the hallway listening for a few moments. She didn't hear anything so she waved for Daryl to follow her to Lucky's room.

"Songbird, I don't think," he began but she gave him a pleading glance, so he followed her, thinking that if Lucky was in her room, he'd just wait in the theater room.

They weren't likely to run into anyone this early right? Just as they passed the command center the door opened and Rick and Lucky stepped out. The four of them sort of just stared at each other for a second or two. Daryl cleared his throat, but no words would come out. Songbird had blushed beet red and he figured he only had a few seconds before she started rambling. Lucky and Rick appraised them silently, taking in Daryl's wet jeans and Songbird's blanket wrapped form.

"So…nice to see you're not dead. I woke up, you weren't there; you weren't in the house. It's good to know that you're alive," Lucky said with a cocked eyebrow.

"We were…" Songbird began.

Daryl's hand dropped conveniently over her mouth as he steered her toward Lucky's bedroom saying, "She needs clothes. Talk to you later."

Songbird gave Lucky a thumbs up that Daryl couldn't see and Lucky laughed, casting a look at the scratches criss-crossing Daryl's back and shoulders as she shook her head. Rick nudged Lucky's ribs and grinned.

Daryl leaned against the doorframe while Songbird got dressed and combed her hair, getting the tangles worked free so she could braid it.

"Any chance you could do that later?" he asked, shifting his weight. "I'm fuckin' freezin'."

"Sure!" she walked back out with him after tossing her wet clothes into the bathroom; she'd hang them up later.

He felt better about the fact that she was dressed now, even if his jeans were just as uncomfortable as wet denim always was and his boots squished with every step. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, giving her a brief squeeze as they went into the guy's room. Glenn was there, but he was still asleep so Songbird walked quietly. Daryl changed jeans quickly and found a clean shirt. He had to put on his old boots but at least they weren't soaking wet.

Dale stuck his head into the room and called, "Glenn! Breakfast! Oh. Well, hello there Songbird. And Daryl," he looked between them with a smile. "It's nice to see the two you getting along again. Feels nostalgic."

Songbird blushed and Daryl looked up at the ceiling as he said, "Mornin', Dale. You said breakfast was ready?"

"Yes," Dale answered, leaning over to shake Glenn, who didn't wake up easily.

"What?" Glenn asked sleepily.

"Wake up," Daryl said. "Breakfast."

"Yeah, maybe there's more than eggs today," Songbird chimed in.

"What?" Glenn repeated sitting up quickly when he heard her voice. "Where have you been?" he asked Daryl. "You never came in here last night and you didn't have watch…" he trailed off when Dale laughed and Songbird blushed. Daryl just kept a level gaze on him until Glenn said, "None of my business. Right. Breakfast. I'll be there in a minute."

Songbird ate her breakfast quickly and gave Lucky a meaningful glance. Lucky gave her an innocent look in return and Songbird frowned, making Lucky laugh as she finished her own breakfast and stood up. Songbird jumped to her feet as well.

"Where you headed, darlin'?" Daryl asked, wondering why she seemed so agitated all of a sudden.

"Nowhere," she answered. "Just with Lucky. Going to talk to Lucky. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay, but I…" he began, but she leaned down and kissed him.

He was just starting to return the kiss, public displays of affection weren't really his thing normally, when she pulled back and said, "I've gotta go!"

She chased after Lucky, who had walked out of the kitchen. Rick looked at Daryl and raised an eyebrow. Daryl shrugged in confusion. Shane laughed.

"What?" Daryl asked taking a drink of his milk.

"She's gonna be talking about you in about ten seconds," Shane informed him.

Comprehension dawned and Daryl started to get up, but Rick put his hand on his shoulder and said, "I'm afraid it's inevitable. Might as well just let it happen."

Daryl realized that Rick and Shane were right; he tried to reassure himself that Songbird had enjoyed their first time together, but he was really paranoid about what she would tell Lucky.

"Wait!" Songbird called after Lucky. "You know I want to talk to you!"

"Whatever could you want to talk to me about?" Lucky asked innocently. "I have no idea."

"You do so know what I want to talk about!" Songbird was indignant. "And you knew why I didn't come back inside last night and you called me out all innocent in front of Rick earlier! Come on Lucky! If I can't talk to you who can I talk to?"

"I was genuinely worried about you," Lucky said. "What was I supposed to think? I mean, I haven't heard either of you yell anybody's name out in the middle of the night lately."

"What? I've never done that! Before."

"You totally have! You said it was pie…but I know!"

"It was pie! I have strange dreams," Songbird defended herself when Lucky looked unconvinced. "Wait. Either of us? When were you…where did you…what the hell?"

"It was in camp; he was just really loud. And I was in the truck with him," Lucky finished.

"You were not! Were you? You weren't!" Songbird was almost 100 percent sure that Lucky was messing with her. Almost.

"Yeah. I would never ever…you know…go there."

"Having been there myself, I can tell you that there's no reason not to," Songbird said.

"Are you endorsing it? Are you his advertising manager now?" Lucky asked dryly.

"You only advertise stuff you want to sell," Songbird answered. "This is just um…information. So, are you going to ask me about it or not?"

"Apparently I don't need to," Lucky said. "Do go on."

Now that she could, she didn't know where to begin. She felt her face heat up and she said, "Well…I spent the night in Daryl's truck…"

"I gathered that much. Were you playing cards?" Lucky snickered.

"No," Songbird said so emphatically that Lucky laughed. "We…" she covered her face with both hands and said, "We were having sex!"

"Yes, yes, I know. I didn't think you'd be this excited about playing cards," Lucky shook her head.

"I've never played a game of cards that was even close to that much fun," Songbird admitted. "Lucky, it was so…it was just…"

She hopped up onto Lucky's bed and collapsed backwards on it with her hands over her heart.

"Your idea of foreplay is really weird," Lucky said.

"What?" Songbird propped on her elbows and looked at her in confusion.

"Having Daryl try to kill my brother, for one thing, running out into a raging rainstorm for another…"

Songbird smiled reminiscently and said, "I love the rain. And he didn't try to kill Freddy. He barely even yelled at him. And none of that was foreplay. That was later."

Lucky rolled her eyes.

"Okay, fine. Then I won't tell you. And you can just wonder. I was just trying to be helpful. I was obeying the code."

"What is it about you trying to get every single piece of information out in the open?" Lucky asked.

"I can't talk to anyone else about this," Songbird said. "Andrea and Carol would just be all mom-ish. This is what's known as girl talk remember?"

"Okay, fine," Lucky sighed. "How big was it?"

"What?" Songbird went beet red.

"Well, you wanted to give me all the details right?" Lucky asked.

"I didn't have a ruler," Songbird said. "And I have nothing to compare it to. Ummm…big enough. It kinda hurt. And I sort of freaked out in the beginning."

"Was it everything you dreamed?" Lucky questioned patronizingly.

"Yep," Songbird said with a grin. "He's perfect, I swear."

Lucky snorted and when Songbird gave her a dirty look, she said, "Go ahead."

"Well, he is; I even got to…um…you know, get off. So that's something. Especially since it hurt like that in the beginning. But, yeah it really was everything I thought it would be," she sat up and eyed Lucky seriously. "I don't know why you aren't doing this. You should be doing this! Not with Daryl, of course…not that I really think you would…but you should be doing this!"

"And I should go by your assessment?" Lucky questioned.

"Yes. Yes you should. You know how most things in life have pros and cons?" When Lucky nodded, Songbird said, "Not this. Pros only, I swear."

"I'll have to take your word on that," Lucky said.

"Or you could just sleep with Rick," Songbird pointed out. "And don't try to tell me you don't want to."

"Oh, I want to," Lucky admitted. "But are you really willing to give up your side of the bed so easily?"

"I didn't think about that," Songbird said. "So maybe there are cons for me if you have sex."

Lucky raised her eyebrows and then said, "Speaking of your side of the bed, you're getting hillbilly germs all over it."

"Daryl doesn't have germs!" Songbird said, scooting off the bed and folding her arms. "And he's not a hillbilly!"

Lucky snorted again and Songbird rolled her eyes as she said, "Anyway…no advice? No treating me like a kid? That's refreshing!"

"Um…be safe," Lucky said sarcastically. "I don't need you dying from a Walker bite because you wanted to have sex all the time."

"We were in the truck bed for the main event," Songbird answered. "No Walkers can get in there anyway."

"I need some air," Lucky said. "I'll see you later. All this talk about hillbilly sex is just making me nauseated."

"Fine, go get your air," Songbird called. "But you know you're jealous. And he's not a hillbilly! He's just southern."

Lucky didn't answer, but Songbird continued, "And hot. Southern and hot."

"So?" Rick asked after breakfast. He'd watched Daryl stare after the Songbird sort of helplessly when she went chasing after Lucky and he'd found it extremely amusing.

"So what?" Daryl asked, wondering what the hell Songbird was telling Lucky.

"Where were you last night?"

Daryl cleared his throat and said, "I'm gonna go smoke."

Rick followed him with a grin. Daryl got his cigarettes and stood with his back pressed to the back glass of the camper. It didn't matter; Rick had seen the rumpled up sheets and blankets anyway.

"It got cold awful quick didn't it?" Daryl asked conversationally.

"You finally gave it up?" Rick questioned, cutting to the chase.

Daryl choked as he inhaled and then laughed, shaking his head at Rick's phrasing.

"You could say that," he admitted.

"Now what?" Rick asked.

"Whatcha mean now what?" Daryl was a little confused.

"You're not going to drop her again are you?" Rick asked seriously.

"You lookin' out for the Songbird?" Daryl asked, looking at the man who'd suddenly reassumed his cop personality.

"Yeah," Rick said easily. "She's a sweet kid…" when Daryl gave him a dirty look he said, "A nice woman? That sound better?"

"A little," he admitted. "Sometimes I feel…weird about wantin' her the way I do."

Rick raised his eyebrows, shocked that he was getting personal information from Daryl without asking.

"You know?" Daryl continued. "I'm 36, she's 18. I'm old enough to be her dad…but that girl, I swear Rick, I've never wanted any other woman like I…" he stopped and cleared his throat. "Anyway, I'm glad you're lookin' out for her, but I ain't gonna hurt her again."

Rick nodded, looking at Daryl.

Daryl was unable to keep a grin from spreading over his face as he said, "She told me she loves me."

"Even after you yelled at her?"

"I didn't…well, yeah I guess I did. But yeah, she said she's loved me for a long time…"

"Everybody knew that," Rick said with a smile. "Except you for some reason."

"And what were you and your girl doin' while me and Songbird were out here?" Daryl questioned, blowing a smoke ring toward Rick.

"Nothing like that," Rick admitted, pointing into the truck. "Carl's having some trouble with all the stuff that's happening with me and Lori. He's been kinda clingy…I haven't really had much time to spend with her."

"That's a damn shame," Daryl said with a grin. "I'll tell ya…it's a good way to pass the time."

Rick shook his head and said, "So you're gonna sleep in your truck from now on?"

"Ah fuck," Daryl realized Rick was right.

The temperature had dropped even more, rather than warming up with the day. He couldn't keep her out here; he couldn't take her in the room with him.

Rick patted him on the back and said, "Well, once is better than never."

When Songbird got done with her shower she went looking for Daryl. She found Dale, sitting by himself on one of the couches, reading War and Peace.

"Hello there, Songbird," he said pleasantly.

"Hey Dale!" she gave him a smile. "Good book?"

"It's one that I'd never made time for in the past," he said, marking his place with his index finger and closing the book. "Time is now in abundance, so it seemed like a good idea."

She nodded and said, "Well, I won't interrupt you…"

"Looking for Daryl?" he gave her a smile.

She shrugged and nodded.

"He went out for a cigarette with Rick," Dale informed her. "And keep in mind what I said about other interests, young lady."

She nodded again, liking the fatherly tone Dale used with her.

"Oh! I know something I could do!" she exclaimed. "I told you about my project…and not that I want to come between you and Tolstoy…"

"It's fine dear," Dale replied. "My old brain could use a break as it is!"

She grabbed the notebook, since her laptop bag was still in Daryl's truck, and said, "Okay, name and other particulars…"

"Dale," he answered. "Is age really important?"

"Nah," she said with a grin. "I'll put down 23."

He laughed and said, "I thought you mentioned something about photographs!"

"Yeah," she acknowledged. "Maybe it's better to be honest."

He told her his age and gave her an address, a home in Florida.

"The wife and I moved there ten years ago," Dale said. "She'd always wanted to live there and well…when the cancer was diagnosed we just went for it. It was easy for me to find another job at the University…"

"University?" she questioned, writing rapidly.

"I was a literature professor," he said. "My wife…Annie, she was a professor too, psychology, until she got too sick. I bought the R.V. so she'd be comfortable when we went on trips. She was so proud of it, about how neat and clean she kept it…" Dale stared into space for a moment and Songbird felt a pang in her heart over the beating the R.V. must have taken.

She hadn't seen it in the beginning, but right now it was dirty and since it was packed for a long hot summer with several people who didn't have the benefit of daily showers or access to deodorant, it didn't smell great either.

"I'll help you clean it up and air it out now that we're stationary for a while," she said.

Dale put his hand on her shoulder and gave her a warm smile as he said, "I'd like that. So what was the next question? Where was I when this all started? Well…I'd retired and I was missing teaching like mad so I'd decided to take a little road trip, get the R.V. on the open road before I put it up for sale. Somehow I ended up near Atlanta when the news broke. I was in Toccoa Georgia actually. Of course, I didn't know what was happening. I'm just not a big television watcher. Never have been. Give me a good book any day."

Songbird nodded in serious agreement and they both smiled for a second before Dale went back to his story.

"So I decided that I was in the mood for a nice hot meal that I didn't have to cook myself and drove down the mountain looking for a restaurant. The city was in chaos. People driving like idiots and running through the streets; I had no idea what was happening! I turned the radio on and there was the advisory to stay inside, lock your doors, or get to Atlanta where the police and military would be. That there was an epidemic. I was driving toward Atlanta when I passed this broken down car, smoke pouring from the engine and these two young ladies desperately trying to flag down cars. No one would stop. I did and they got in and Andrea and I have been traveling together ever since."

"But…you said they," Songbird was briefly confused and then she remembered Dale telling her about Andrea's sister. "Oh, Andrea's little sister."

"I'll let you get Amy's story from Andrea," Dale said. "I haven't lost anyone really due to this. I was very much the introverted academian, especially after I lost Annie. The longest conversations I had were with the grocery store cashiers at Winn-Dixe."

"Anything you want people to remember about you?" Songbird asked, pen poised.

"I have read every work by William Shakespeare including sonnets," Dale said. "And I know what he meant by every word."

She smiled and wrote that down, and then titled the entry, "Dale, Deft Disciple of the Bard."

"Thanks!" she said, giving him a smile and a kiss on the cheek. "I'm going to ask Lucky about taking pictures sometime this week."

"Anytime at all, my dear," Dale said, giving her a hug and then going back to his book.

Songbird decided that was quite enough time to be away from Daryl and went searching. She found him in the kitchen drinking a glass of water and looking a bit morose.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothin'," he answered, happy when she came over and leaned against him. "Where you been?"

"Talked to Lucky, took a shower…talked to Dale…"

"Dale?" he repeated with some alarm; why the hell would she tell Dale?

"Yeah, for my project," she explained.

"Oh," Daryl was relieved. "What project?"

Songbird explained her idea about histories for the group and he watched her lips move, paying enough attention to answer questions, because he'd been in relationships before, and thinking how pretty she was when she was all enthusiastic about stuff.

"So, what do you think?" she asked.

"It's a smart idea," he answered. "You know what else?"

"What?" Songbird smiled up at him.

"You've got a sexy mouth, darlin'," he informed her, putting his water glass down and wrapping his arms around her, pulling her to stand between his legs and covering that sexy mouth with his.

She tilted her chin and kissed him back, her entire body instantly reacting to him. He could feel the response as he slid his hands down her back, cupping her ass in his hands and rocking her against him. He kissed her until Lucky walked in.

"Rooster will flip," she said seriously. "James just had all those counter tops redone."

Daryl rested his head on Songbirds shoulder and sighed. He'd have to figure something out soon. They ended up spending the rest of the day in the sparring room, which at least gave him something to occupy his mind and hands as Songbird offered to teach him to throw a knife and he agreed. He was fairly decent at it; she informed him that he was much better than T-dog.

Of course, later there was something entirely new to occupy his mind. He couldn't figure out why he'd never known that his girl could do full splits. She was teaching Sophia gymnastics as well as knife throwing, and Andrea and Carol, who came in later, gave the impromptu class a try as well. Songbird moved so fluidly he couldn't help but watch her. She did those splits and then she did back bends and some other stuff he didn't know the name of until his mouth went dry.

Songbird could feel Daryl's eyes on her as she stretched and it felt good. Good to finally feel like a grown up, good to know that he really thought she was that sexy now that they'd finally had sex. She guessed she'd been kind of scared in the back of her mind that he'd just walk away from her, or say it had been a mistake. But he hadn't, and he didn't blame her for what had happened to his brother and…well, it just felt good to get a full workout in even though she was still really sore from last night's workout of a different variety.

When it was time for bed, he walked her to Lucky's room and kissed her good-night.

"Sleep good, darlin'," he said, cupping her face in his hands and wishing he had somewhere to take her.

"You too," she said, reluctantly walking into Lucky's room. As much as she liked Lucky, she wasn't exactly who she wanted to be in bed with.

Daryl went on back to his room, kicking off his boots and climbing up to his bed. Then he realized Glenn was staring at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing!" Glenn said, flopping back onto the bed. A second later he sighed and said, "Everybody's getting some but me."

Daryl laughed and pulled his shirt off, dropping it over the end of the bed.

"And you're a total slob," Glenn continued looking at the jumble of stuff at the end of Daryl's bunk. "I don't get it."

Daryl shrugged and said, "Not everybody's fuckin'."

"Dale and Andrea," Glenn sat up, listing couples on his fingers indignantly. "Shane and Lori, Rick and Lucky, Carol and T, James and Rooster and now you and Songbird. I was counting on you! You held out for so long!"

"Well," Daryl motioned for Glenn to face the wall and when he did, Daryl changed into his pajama pants and said, "You forgot one person."

"Who?" Glenn faced him again, looking confused.

"Freddy," Daryl drawled. "He ain't gettin' any. Maybe the two of you…"

"Fuck you, Daryl," Glenn said huffily.

"No thanks," Daryl answered dryly. "I got that taken care of."

A moment of two passed and Daryl sighed; Glenn was still frowning and face it, the kid had a point.

"Don't get pissy about it," he said roughly. "I'm sure we ain't the only people left. Maybe in the spring…or somethin' you'll find you a nice girl."

Glenn gave him a surprised look and Daryl continued, "Or a not so nice girl…whatever you want."

Glenn sort of laughed and said, "I can't believe you're actually listening to me. I kind of expected you to just laugh at me and go to sleep."

Daryl shrugged and leaned against the wall as he said, "Actually, I was kind of thinkin' of laughin' at you and then goin' for a smoke…"

"What are you going to do when you run out?" Glenn asked.

"Plenty of other shit to smoke around here," Daryl pointed out with a grin. "Ah, you gotta a point though…I'm gonna run out of cigarettes way too soon," he lay back and stretched out with a disappointed sigh.

"Whatever; you're getting laid," Glenn said, lying back as well. "No complaints will be heard."

A/N: Anybody reading this who has seen Tough Luck should e-mail and ask them to add it to the movie selection on here please! Hopefully if enough people ask, they will add it. I know someone who is thinking of doing a story based on it, and I wanna see the story! Lol

Akuish: Songbird's history does come out eventually…she's just extremely reluctant to talk about herself right now. Lol

Azalia Fox Knightling: Finally indeed! And yeah, I'm surprised that I managed to form words while standing so close to Norman Reedus…I'm proud of the fact that I made full sentences!

Gurl3677: Thanks! And oh btw, I did e-mail them about adding that!

Tasha: Thanks! And I'm glad you'll keep reading…and wowie exactly! He's just so dang great!

SaraLostInes: So you suspected eh? Songbird is nothing if not prepared lol!

Lucy Freebird: Thank you so much for saying this is your favorite WD fanfic! I couldn't stop smiling over that! I totally hate scenes where female characters lose their virginity and it's all "magical" and b.s. lol it's never like that, and I prefer realism any day!

Orvokki: I will certainly do my best! And hey, at least you can say you met the guy right? And he was probably relieved that he wasn't dealing with a screaming fangirl. :) You may have made his night!

Pure Gem: Aw don't cry! Norman Reedus does a lot of conventions…maybe there will be one in Canada! If you meet him, I swear to god, he will make time to talk to you. He is the most easy going, accessible celebrity in the world I think! And he's sexy. So dang sexy! Lol


	23. Chapter 21

Three days later it was Songbird's turn to feed the chickens and Daryl decided to go with her to make sure she was bundled up. She had a bad habit of walking out without her jacket. Sure enough, she was headed out in nothing more than jeans and a long sleeved shirt.

"Forgettin' somethin'?" he asked.

She turned and saw him holding her hoodie and her jacket.

"It shouldn't take long…" she began.

"Come here," Daryl said, holding the hoodie out.

She pulled it on and then he helped her with the jacket before shrugging his own coat on and pushing the door open for her.

"You worry too much," Songbird said with a sigh.

"I can't let anything happen to you, darlin'," he said, trying to sound light about it. "What I do without my little Songbird?"

She smiled; it was hard to be irritated with him when he put it that way. She did wish that he'd stop treating her like a kid though! She was starting to say something about it when he put his arm over her shoulders and tugged her against his side, kissing the top of her head before telling her that he'd missed her last night when he was on watch. She slid her arm around him, underneath his leather jacket and into his back pocket as they walked across the compound.

Daryl helped her feed the chickens and then pulled her back into the barn, out of the wind, with a grin. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist as he walked into the shadows at the back, near the hay. Then in the hay. Daryl dropped her into it and followed her down, kissing her the way he'd been dreaming about. Rick had been wrong, once wasn't better than never. Remembering it was driving him nearly insane. Every time he thought he'd have a chance for a least a quick fuck, something happened! But he hadn't seen anyone else in the yard and no one else had any outside chores that he knew of.

He pulled off his jacket and then hers, moving one hand under her hoodie and shirt as she bit his lower lip and moved her hips against him impatiently. Good to know he wasn't the only one getting a little desperate.

"I've missed you so much," Songbird didn't bother to stop kissing him as she whispered the words against his mouth.

"Darlin', I been goin' crazy," Daryl admitted, running his hand up her stomach, cupping her breast over her bra, groaning when she gasped.

She wiggled underneath him, trying to get the hay to quit poking her in the back and she felt him grip her hip with his free hand and laugh breathlessly.

"I don't know what you're doin'," he said, "But you gotta quit if you want this to last very long."

"It'll last long enough," she replied confidently. "And it's the hay! It's itchy!"

"Oh, well don't worry about that," Daryl rolled over, pulling her on top of him. "Better?"

"Better," she answered, pulling her hoodie off and tossing it down onto his jacket. "Still worried I'll be cold?"

He smiled at the teasing tone of her voice. She looked so damn innocent that he was surprised to hear her talk like that. It was undeniably hot though.

"Nah," he answered, "I'm sure you'll warm right up."

She pulled her shirt off and he sat up, taking his off as well and wrapping his arms around her, grabbing her braid, yanking her head back and kissing his way down her neck. Songbird tightened her grip on his shoulders and tried not to moan too loudly; she knew that he only did that because he knew how much she liked it and that made it even better.

She wondered what kind of girl she was; the fierceness of Daryl's kisses, the pain that she felt when he yanked her hair, the fact that she'd been sore for a full day after their first time, all of that made her so eager for him inside her that she trembled. She squealed when he nipped the skin at the base of her neck hard enough to sting.

"Hey, Songbird are you…"

It took Songbird a few seconds before she realized that the voice was Freddy's. Daryl reacted faster, throwing his jacket around her shoulders.

"What the fuck…" he inquired roughly, catching his breath, "are you doing in here?"

"Goats," Freddy blurted out, feeling like a jerk and oddly embarrassed, even though he hadn't been the one getting banged in the haystack. "I mean I'm not _doing _the goats…I'm…well, I was going to feed the goats…but I could just come back when you're…uh…you know…done."

"You think I'm gonna just go ahead and…" Daryl was so pissed off he nearly choked on the words. "While you stand outside and fuckin' wait for me to get done?"

Songbird leaned her head on Daryl's shoulder, too humiliated to turn and face Freddy.

"No! I mean I wouldn't stand out there…I'd go into the house and you could just come find me…" Freddy rambled, blushing like crazy.

"Daryl, don't yell at him," she whispered. "It is his barn."

Daryl took a deep breath and said, "Give her a second to get…uh…situated and then you can get the shit for the fuckin' goats."

"I'll be outside the door," Freddy said. "Just come out when you're…decent."

Freddy stepped outside; Daryl collapsed backwards into the hay with his hands over his face. Songbird lay down beside him, disappointed and still really embarrassed.

"Are you okay?" she asked after a moment.

"No," he said, his voice muffled because he still had his hands over his face. "If I had my crossbow I'd put an arrow in that bastard's ass."

She laughed and he continued, "Get dressed darlin', I don't want you gettin' cold."

She dressed quickly and gave him back his jacket. When he sat up to pull his shirt back on she examined his tattoo again.

"I always wanted a tattoo," she said, hoping to distract both of them from the frustration of unrelieved desire. "I like yours."

"Thanks," Daryl stood up and tugged her to her feet. "What'd you want?"

"I don't know," Songbird said with a shrug. "I saw so many great tattoos and I knew I wanted one…probably a quote about something. I just hadn't picked it yet. I guess now I'll never have one."

"Get me a needle and an ink pen and I'll write my name on your ass," Daryl offered with a grin.

"You'd stop if I cried," she said.

He shrugged, knowing it was true.

"Is there anything that you wanted that you'll never have now?" Songbird continued as they walked out, past a still blushing Freddy, who avoided looking at either of them as he ducked into the barn.

"You mean other than the idea that I can go outside without legions of undead things tryin' to eat me?" Daryl asked.

"Yes," she said seriously.

"I guess I wish I'd spent my money," Daryl said after thinking for a moment. "I mean, hell…I don't even know how I'd get to it even if I needed it now."

"You had money?" Songbird looked up at him.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I actually did. Didn't have a whole lot to spend it on. Trailer was paid for, bought my truck with my taxes one year. Been working since I was 14…had some saved up for when I got too old to work. Can't depend much on Uncle Sam…and you just can't do construction when you're in your 70's."

"So that's what you were saving for? Retirement?" Songbird was surprised at his foresight.

"Mostly," he said, looking at the wind turbines turning quickly in the stiff breeze. "And for other stuff."

"You're not going to tell me?" she asked in surprise.

"Tell me somethin' about you first," he said.

"Okay, I didn't have any money saved," Songbird said. "But I have $280 in the laptop bag."

"You do?" Daryl looked down at her as he asked, "What for?"

"Why not?" she asked. "It was mine before. That's just where I keep my money. My working clothes didn't have pockets. So come on! What were you saving money for?"

"I wanted to go across the United States," he said. "You know, see more than just South Carolina."

"You'd never been anywhere else before this?" she couldn't believe it!

"Not really," he answered. "North Carolina a few times, once of twice to Georgia. But never out of the general area."

"That's awful! I couldn't imagine not traveling."

Daryl was hopeful, but he must have been watching her a little too closely, because after a glance his way, she stopped speaking.

"Seen a lot?" he asked casually.

She shrugged.

"Where you from?" he asked.

"I was born in Ohio," Songbird replied. "Hey, that wind is really cold and I promised Sophia, Glenn and T-dog a lesson in throwing…"

"All right darlin'," Daryl let her tug him back inside, but he made a vow to himself that he'd get her story out of her one way or another. He was determined not to let it rest!

"So?" Songbird questioned from her favorite watchtower seat in the swinging chair.

"So?" Rick, who was on duty with her, repeated, raising his eyebrow.

"You and Lucky," she said. "I thought you two had a thing going?" She couldn't figure out why Rick hadn't spent much time with Lucky lately and she couldn't get any information from Lucky about it, so she figured she'd give this a shot.

"You know all about things eh?" Rick asked with a sideways grin.

Songbird felt her cheeks flush even as she tried for a nonchalant shrug and nod.

"But, you know…" she went on after a moment. "The two of you…you aren't…and I thought you'd be…I mean I'm still the only one sleeping with Lucky. What's up with that?"

"We're taking things slow," Rick answered. "Maybe that seems familiar?" He was a bit frustrated, but Carl had needed more attention and his son would always come first, no matter what his other relationships were like.

She smiled and shook her head as she said, "Familiar and frustrating. I thought guys only had one thing on their minds!"

Rick grinned and shook his head, glancing toward the pecan orchard. He saw Lucky climbing into one of the trees and said, "I won't say it hasn't crossed my mind…"

He trailed off as he watched her, wondering what had taken her attention when she went still in the tree and then drew her bow. Rick stood and walked over for a better view, relieved when he saw a deer grazing on the other side of the fence. He saw Lucky's body tense and his gaze moved beyond the deer, his breath catching when he saw a Walker shuffling from the woods.

Rick had barely had time to worry before Lucky used the arrow she'd drawn for the deer to kill the Walker. Then he saw her jump down from the tree and bend over, stretching her arm to pull the arrow from the corpses skull. He shook his head in frustration, wishing she hadn't stuck her arm through the fence like that. You never knew when there'd be another Walker waiting.

"I'm going to go have a word with Lucky," Rick said, turning toward Songbird, who was watching in the other direction. "You have this?"

"Well, I think so," she began worriedly. "But Rooster said…"

"You'll be fine," Rick said in that dismissive "cop voice," and she could tell that his mind was barely on the discussion as he walked out.

Songbird wished he'd stayed. The day suddenly felt much warmer than it had been lately, so warm she pulled her jacket off. The air touching her skin felt oddly stretched…thin and hot. She took a deep breath, trying not to worry and then leaned forward in the chair when she saw Lucky start running toward the compound as fast as she could. Songbird could tell by the way her friend was moving that something was wrong, she just had no idea what it could be.

She frowned, looking around for signs of danger other than the weird feeling in the air. She eyed the buttons on the tower wall; none of them seemed to suit the situation. Songbird realized that during her reverie there had been a sound getting steadily louder; it sounded almost like a train and that was impossible.

Lucky had nearly reached the door; Songbird turned her head to quickly check the other side of the tower before she made sure Lucky got inside. As she glanced left the sky opened up and torrential rain poured down. The suddenly fierce wind whipped the rain inside the tower. She gasped at the shock of cold water and squinted, trying to see out the window. When a flash of lightening lit up the suddenly pitch black sky her mouth dropped open as she realized why Lucky was running.

The black funnel cloud wasn't all that far away by now and it was closing fast. The awful colors of the clouds lent to the terror building in her chest. The sky looked sick, green and yellow. Songbird realized that the tower was probably not the best place to be. She spun and ran for the stairs, then cursed and turned back, grabbing her jacket, her sneakers sliding on the rain soaked floor as she pushed the blue button to warn the rest of the compound. She yanked the door open as the rain hitting her body gained enough velocity to be painful. She felt almost sandblasted, probably because there was hail mixed into the rain now. The wind yanked the door from her hand and slammed it against the wall.

She swore again and tugged as hard as she could, trying to close it until she heard a distinctively southern, distinctively irritated bellow near her ear.

"What the fuck are you doin'?"

"I can't get the door shut!" Songbird screamed; she could hardly hear herself over the storm.

"It's a tornado!" Daryl yelled. "What the fuck…" he reached out and she saw the muscles of his right arm tighten as he helped her yank the door shut, "does it matter if the damn door is open?"

He took her hand and yanked her down the stairs before she could answer.

"Lucky and Rick are out there!" she shrieked as he dragged her behind him.

"Passed them when I came up to get you!" Daryl shouted back.

Once they were underground the noise level dropped and Daryl cupped Songbird's face in his hands.

"Good God darlin'," he said. "I ain't never been so scared."

It was true; the whole way up the stairs he'd been terrified to find no tower left when he opened the door. Or a tower and no Songbird.

She wondered if she was shaking or if it was him, or if it was both of them. Daryl pulled her close, kissing her briefly before simply wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her hair. She returned the embrace, glad for his warmth after the cold rain.

Once the wind sounds died down, Daryl murmured, "You're soaked and now so am I."

Songbird pulled back and gave him a shaky grin. Maybe no one else got it, but Daryl always knew just the right thing to say. When she shivered, he eyed her with concern.

"You oughta go get into the shower," he said, putting his hand on her lower back and steering her toward the bedroom she and Lucky shared.

She wouldn't mind some warm water, that was for sure. She tried the bedroom door, surprised to find it locked. Daryl realized that they hadn't seen Rick in the living room where the rest of the group had gathered when the alarm had gone off.

He caught Songbird's hand when she started to knock and said, "Why don't you just use the hall bathroom?"

Realization lit her eyes and she said, "Okay! But…all my clothes are in there."

"I'll get you somethin'," Daryl promised quietly, pulling her back out of the room.

If Rick was doin' what he oughta be doin', Daryl didn't want to ruin it for him. Bout time Rick got on that in his opinion. They walked up the hall and Daryl ducked into the guy's room, digging through his stuff, trying to find something she could sleep in. He handed her the gray hoodie he'd looted in the mall and a clean pair of his thick socks, then he rummaged through Glenn's neatly stacked clothes and handed her a pair of the kid's track pants.

"But these are Glenn's…" she began.

Daryl only shrugged so she figured she'd let him deal with the consequences if Glenn was pissy about it. Not that Glenn ever got really mad about anything. He was the most laid back person in the group besides herself. She went into the hall bathroom with some of Daryl's soap and shampoo, since everything of hers was in Lucky's room. The hot water felt nice and she soaped up leisurely, enjoying being surrounded by Daryl's scent.

Daryl went back to the room and changed out of his wet clothes, pulling on his pajama pants and a wife beater. It wasn't really ever cold in the compound; he wouldn't have worried about Songbird if she hadn't been soaking wet. He walked back and waited for her to get out of the shower. Daryl couldn't keep from grinning at her when she opened the bathroom door. She had to hold the track pants up, and his hoodie practically swallowed her whole, the sleeves hid her hands and it came down way past her hips.

"What?" she asked, surprised at the smile on his face. Daryl didn't really smile all that much. Not that it was a bad look on him or anything; it was just odd to see such a great smile when all she'd done was open a bathroom door.

"You're so cute," he said, reaching forward and putting one finger under her chin, tilting her face up to his and kissing her briefly.

She wrinkled her nose at him when he let her go and he wrapped his arm around her waist, getting a grip on the other side of the track pants and starting off down the hallway.

"Thanks," Songbird said dryly. "These are little big."

"Hadn't noticed," Daryl responded with another smile down at her; she'd seemed so confused by the last one that he was wondering if he didn't ever show her how happy she made him or something like that. Thinking back, he realized he yelled at her a lot. Or fucked with her head.

They walked into the living room before he could finish thinking about it and for a while they just sat on the couch while Songbird told the group about seeing the tornado from the watchtower. After a while though, everyone started disbursing for bed and Rooster said that they would need to scout the property for damage tomorrow, ordering everyone to appear for duty bright and early to be assigned pieces of the property for inspection.

Daryl had developed an extremely grudging admiration for Rooster. And James wasn't bad either. If he was going to be stuck underground with a male couple, he was glad they were like Rooster and James; they were smart, good with weaponry, and they kept the couple shit to the bedroom. Not half bad.

James wriggled his fingers at Daryl and said, "Don't stay up late, a bhobain! I hate to see you looking so tired!" then he gave him another of those flamboyant winks before putting his arm around Rooster and heading out of the room.

Daryl rubbed his face and sighed. Then again…

Songbird chuckled and rested her head on Daryl's shoulder. James and Rooster had been the last people to leave the room; for the first time in a while, she and Daryl were alone. He wrapped his arm around her and she sighed.

"You're not mad are you?" she asked after a moment, staring into the fireplace.

"Mad about what?" he asked, looking down at her in surprise.

"The door," Songbird explained. "I was trying to close the door…"

"No," Daryl said. "I wasn't really mad, I just…hell, I was terrified and I wanted you where I could keep you safe. I'm gonna talk to Rooster in the mornin'; I don't want you on watch with anybody but me from now on."

"That might be fun," she said, turning to look at him, liking his possessiveness very much.

Daryl cleared his throat awkwardly and said, "Songbird…I uh…I been thinkin'…"

Her heart stopped.

"If I yell at you a lot…uh…I don't want you thinkin' it changes the way I feel about you," he stumbled over his words, looking down at where their fingers were entwined, resting on his leg. "It don't…it's just that when I get worried about you, I might say somethin' that don't come out the way I want it to…damn it I'm not good at this shit!"

Daryl pulled her against him and kissed her, catching her surprised gasp with his lips and cupping the back of her head, trying to show her how he felt. He was doing a shit job of explaining it, that was for sure. Songbird relished the kiss and the hesitant words that had gone before it. He wasn't dumping her! She shifted, wanting more of her body against his. He must have wanted the same thing, because she found herself underneath him a few moments later.

It wasn't what he'd planned to do. But when she'd responded so perfectly to what he needed, he couldn't resist. But still…

"I ain't gonna fuck you," he spoke against her full mouth, as much informing her as ordering himself.

"Why not?" she moved against him; she could tell that he wanted to do it. There was ample evidence of that.

"It's not my couch," Daryl explained, unable to keep from thrusting against her, imagining how wet and tight she'd be around him and giving a low groan of pure frustration.

She laughed breathlessly, in spite of the fact that she knew she was going to go to bed frustrated. Daryl kissed her until she wanted to beg for him inside her, not that he'd give in even if she did. He was remarkably good at not giving in about stuff like that. Proven track record and all. It didn't stop her from moving against him, wrapping her legs around his hips and rubbing her pussy against his cock until she felt him get tense, and gripping his arms as she arched her back.

"Ah, God darlin'," Daryl groaned. "You gotta stop…you're gonna make me cum…" and it was the damndest thing. Here he was, 36 years old, fuckin' making out on a couch that wasn't his with a cute little 18 year old who wanted to fuck him, consequences or no.

"Would it be so bad?" Songbird asked in that throaty voice, tilting her hips again as she kissed and licked her way down the side of his neck.

"I wouldn't have anything to sleep in," he said, pushing against her once more. "I could make you cum though."

"No," she gasped when he moved one of his hands down. "Not if you won't. It's not fair."

"Well, it ain't about fair," he protested. "It's about making a mess on someone else's furniture and since you're a girl…"

"I won't cum unless you do," she said as firmly as she could, given that her entire body was humming.

"That's pretty fuckin' noble," Daryl said, kissing that spot just under her ear. "You sure?"

"Not when you do that," Songbird exhaled, trying to get in command of herself. Daryl had a way of ruling her body. "I guess I have to sleep in the girl's room…unless I can sleep in with you?"

"No," he said, sitting up and taking a deep breath. "I'd probably die from lack of blood to the brain if I had to sleep next to you all night without bein' able to fuck you."

She laughed, sitting up as well and cuddling up against him.

"The more you touch, the longer it's gonna be before I can go to bed," Daryl informed her.

She glanced down, seeing that he was still hard and brushing her fingers over him, watching his cock jerk under his pajama pants.

"Don't be mean darlin'."

"Sorry," she apologized. "I just want…"

"I _want_ too," he agreed. "I'll work somethin' out, I swear. You oughta go on to bed. I'm not gonna have much luck with you sittin' right here."

"Okay," she submitted after a brief internal struggle. She wanted him so bad! "I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah," he kissed her, once, then twice, then a third time, stopping only when the pressure intensified, becoming pain. "Night, darlin'."

She'd hoped to sneak into the women's room, but of course that didn't happen. Andrea and Carol were still up, even though Sophia was sleeping.

"Songbird?" Carol questioned.

"Yeah…Lucky's room was locked and I figured I'd come keep you ladies company," she whispered, trying to look nonchalant. "Which bunk can I have?"

"None of them."

Songbird's mouth dropped open and she looked at Andrea in surprise.

"At least not until you talk to us about Daryl," Andrea finished with a smile.

Carol laughed softly as heat flooded Songbird's face.

"We…um…we had the sex," Songbird finally acknowledged, covering her face with her hands.

Andrea patted the bunk beside her and said, "And? How is the southern boy in the sack?"

"Wonderful!" Songbird answered. "Just…amazing actually."

Andrea teased her a bit about it but the conversation thankfully didn't last long. Songbird should have known that the pleasure wasn't the point of the conversation.

"And you really want this?" Andrea questioned. "He was so angry at you that night…we wondered…"

"He didn't hurt me," Songbird said. "Daryl would never hurt me."

"And has he mentioned any kind of…well, commitment?" Carol asked.

Songbird laughed and said, "Well, I don't think he's likely to run off with anyone else! He did mention finding somewhere for us to sleep. I think that's as committed as we're likely to get."

Carol and Andrea seemed content with the explanation and the knowledge that Daryl wasn't hurting her physically or emotionally and the two older women pointed out a bunk and let Songbird have her sleep.

A/N: As I've said before (but not lately) Lucky, Freddy, Rooster, and James do not belong to me. They are OC's created by Gw3nhwyfar and are used by permission. I created Songbird, but the rest belong to Robert Kirkman (or in the case of Daryl Dixon…AMC) You should check out the story One Last Dream if you're interested in more of Lucky's point of view!

SaraLostInes: Thanks! I really like them as a couple too Lol

Azalia Fox Knightling: The sense of safety won't last forever…that's all I'm saying. :)

Akuish: I wrote the whole story just to be able to write sex scenes with Daryl Dixon. So…I love it a little too much as well! I have wanted to show him getting along with people besides Rick for a while, I just haven't been able to show it…so I figured I'd start with him and Glenn. I liked their interactions in Season One a lot, so hopefully I will be able to show more of the friendship in future chapters. As for Songbird's past…slowly but surely she is opening up and I can't blame you for what you're thinking! Lol

Gurl3677: Songbird agrees that she should sleep in Daryl's bunk. Daryl does not concur. Stubborn redneck. Tee-hee!

Lucy Freebird: Yeah, it is a great mental picture if I do say so myself! Cracks me up anyway! I agree that I wouldn't want to be in Glenn's (or Freddy's for that matter lol) position right now; it would be so crappy to just watch people pair off, but it Daryl a chance to prove he's not a total dick…so it was good for something!


	24. Chapter 22

The day after that, Songbird was wandering through the compound, disappointed that it was raining again. She'd planned to take Michelangelo for a good long run and now that she couldn't she wasn't sure what she wanted to do. She'd wasted the day reading next to the fireplace after the perimeter checks had been done. Daryl had sat with her for a while, playing with her hair and getting her all distracted until she had closed the book and cuddled up against him. That had been the extent of the action because T-dog, Carol, and Sophia were playing Yahtzee in one corner while Lori and Shane talked in another.

Songbird had caught Lori's look of disapproval when Daryl wrapped her in his arms and kissed her neck. But she'd ignored it as she and Daryl started talking. He'd promised that when the rain stopped, he'd show her how to shoot the crossbow. She was excited, but she knew that the real reason he was being so helpful was so that Freddy wouldn't be able to teach her. Which was fine with her. After a while, he'd gone off to find something to do, accusing her of being tempting, when all she'd done was crawl into his lap and kiss her way up his neck. And nibble on his ear. And maybe her fingers had moved a _bit_ south.

She couldn't really help it. There had been watch duty, chores for both of them around the compound and lessons to keep them from having sex all week. Daryl was teaching Carl and Rick how to shoot and Songbird was teaching T-dog, Sophia, Carol, and Andrea how to throw knives. Oh and then there was Lucky's self defense class, or what Songbird referred to as, "getting beaten up." She was flexible, so Lucky used her to demonstrate holds and it really hurt.

She stopped outside the door to the sparring room, wondering why it was closed. It was rarely closed. She was starting to walk away when she stopped and sniffed the air suddenly; she knew that smell. Songbird opened the door.

Rooster was leaning back in a Papa San chair holding a glass of whiskey in his left hand and a blunt in his right hand. He raised his glass and said, "Pour yourself a glass and come join me."

"What are you drinking?" she asked, stepping into the room and shutting the door.

"Whiskey," he answered, gesturing at short square bottle on the table in front of him.

"Oh. No, I don't like whiskey," Songbird answered. "But thanks."

"So what did you come find me for?" he asked with a sly smile.

"Well, I guess I wasn't looking for you…" she said. "I just…I wondered…"

"Wondered if I were in a sharing mood?" Rooster questioned.

She shrugged and nodded, giving him a smile.

Rooster laughed and said, "Well come on then," as he offered her the blunt. "Remember what the dormouse said."

"Feed your head," Songbird acknowledged, getting a surprised grin from Rooster. "And thanks!" she sat down in front of the chair and taking a hard drag before passing it back to him.

"Easy there, this isn't the same shit your little high school buddies passed around," he chuckled.

"Yeah, it does taste different," she said appreciatively. "But after the night I had…" she sighed. "Stuck on a tiny bunk when I was used to such luxury…it's not fair."

"So she finally kicked you out huh?" he asked bitterly. "I knew it was only a matter of time."

Songbird took the blunt he handed back, inhaled and said, "Yeah. First the pie…now the bed; Rick's such a jerk."

Rooster looked like he was either in deep thought or totally spaced out, but he nodded sagely.

"Well, I guess he isn't a _total _jerk," Songbird amended, she liked Rick, she was just frustrated about not having a room of her own, into which she could invite Daryl.

He snorted and said, "Yeah, sure. You tell me that again when he's sleeping with your daughter."

Songbird laughed.

"Who's sleeping with Songbird's non-existent daughter?" Lucky asked as she came into the room. "And when was I going to be invited to the nice family bonding time?"

"You're having sex," Songbird said emphatically. "I spent the night with 3 girls. You don't need anything else."

"Why are you reminding me?" Rooster asked sadly, shaking his head as he finished off the whiskey.

Lucky ignored Songbird and turned to her father saying, "I'm 26 years old. This is an apocalypse; it was bound to happen."

He gave his daughter the evil eye and said, "There's no law against being a virgin in an apocalypse."

"That ship has sailed," Songbird muttered.

"I love him, and I could do worse. He could be a redneck," Lucky said, taking the joint from Rooster.

Songbird was on the verge of defending her relationship when the door opened again and Freddy rushed in. He didn't even stop to speak before attempting to steal the blunt from Lucky, who held on to it. They scuffled briefly until Rooster spoke up.

"You guys know how this works, share or get out."

Lucky took a nice deep hit and then grudgingly handed the weed to her brother. Freddy sat beside Songbird and smoked peacefully, giving her a grin. She shook her head at him. Lucky sat down facing Songbird.

"So…" Songbird said. "Can I at least get my stuff this afternoon? I'm assuming I'll never get in that bed again."

"Yeah, it's at maximum occupancy," Lucky answered wryly. "But get your stuff whenever the door's open."

"Okay," Songbird replied, smacking Freddy in the arm and holding her hand out. "Haven't you ever heard of puff, puff, pass?"

As she took a drag the door opened and Daryl and Glenn walked in.

"Pass the party this way!" Glenn said enthusiastically.

Songbird did, exhaling as she looked at Daryl. She wondered what he would say.

"And just what do you think you're doin'?" he asked with a grin as he motioned for Lucky to scoot over, then sat down and pulled Songbird into his lap.

"Trying to convince Lucky to let us have her bed," she answered, relieved that he wasn't angry.

"There's a whole other room!" Lucky exclaimed. "A whole fourth room with no one in it!"

"Now why didn't I think of that?" Daryl said to no one in particular.

It actually had sort of crossed his mind, but he didn't know how people would feel about him and the Songbird sharing a room that should actually hold 8 people. A week without sex made the decision a lot easier. He didn't care what anybody else thought. That was where he'd be taking Songbird tonight.

"Yeah, what did you think was behind that fourth door?" Glenn asked. "Narnia?"

"There is no Narnia anymore," Freddy said in a faraway voice.

Everyone turned to look at him, but it didn't appear that he was going to continue. He was sort of staring into space.

"How long you been smokin'?" Daryl asked.

"He just started," Lucky answered, rolling her eyes and passing the blunt to Daryl with her eyebrows raised.

Songbird watched him inhale deeply as Rooster said, "Freddy always goes a little soft in the head whenever he participates in extra-curricular activities."

"You know," Freddy said after a second or two. "We're a lot like cows."

"What the fuck?" Daryl asked, turning to look at him.

"The cows…they're a metaphor for the human condition. We're meat. Meat for the man. The dead man," Freddy continued.

Daryl eyed the joint as it came back his way. That must be good shit. Or Freddy was a pussy. He was sort of hoping it was both. It sure did taste good. He took another drag and then handed it to Songbird.

"Do you think we're meat for the man?" she asked before puffing.

"No," he answered, patting her back. "Don't worry about it, darlin'."

"You know…James and I were having a conversation quite similar to this the other night," Rooster mused.

"Oh God!" Lucky exclaimed, putting her hands over her ears. "Don't! Just don't!"

"You know what?" Glenn asked suddenly. "Looks like I've got like twenty hands. Or maybe just forty fingers. I'm not sure."

Daryl laughed, leaning his head against Songbird's back and then tugging her braid and saying, "You always smell so good."

She did, like a combination of fresh air and clean clothes and kind of like flowers but not too much.

"Awww, thanks!" Songbird turned and kissed him until Lucky smacked her in the shoulder.

"No one wants to see that," Lucky began but suddenly Freddy spoke again.

"I've got it!" he said. "It's an ingenious idea. I'm so glad that I thought of it before you Lucky. You're gonna be all over this!"

Lucky laughed and said, "Okay, tell me your big plan."

"We use…the cows. We'll lure the Walkers away with the cows. And then…and then…the world. The world will be safe! And we can sneak away," Freddy said dramatically.

"Why we sneakin' away if the world is safe?" Daryl drawled.

"You. You can stay with the cows, Daryl. You're a cow to me now, Daryl," Freddy said pointing seriously at Daryl. "That's what you are."

Songbird and Lucky burst out laughing as Freddy finished up with, "And I need a Nutter Butter."

"Nutter Butters are great!" Songbird said enthusiastically.

"You see?" Freddy sat up straighter and gestured emphatically as he said, "It's like one mind! That's what it's like with you and me, Songbird. One mind." He tapped her forehead and then his.

"You keep your mind away from my girl," Daryl ordered.

Freddy didn't have time to respond because at just that moment the door opened and Rick walked into the room.

Songbird reacted on instinct, quickly trying to hand the joint back to Freddy, but Daryl intercepted it. Freddy'd had more than his share. What was Rick really going to do anyway? And, he'd kind of always wanted to smoke right the fuck in front of a cop.

"Are you smoking pot?" Rick asked, looking at Lucky even though he was addressing the entire room.

"You're the man! Fuck the man!" Rooster leaned over and snatched the joint away from Daryl before he'd had a chance for more than one drag.

"Okay!" Lucky said enthusiastically.

Rooster face-palmed; Songbird giggled.

"Oh man! Don't arrest me! We're friends right?" Glenn rambled.

"He ain't gonna arrest anybody," Daryl said with a laugh. "He's only got the one pair of cuffs and I'm guessin' he's got other things planned for those."

"So are you going to arrest somebody?" Lucky purred with a wink.

Rick glanced at Rooster wondering what he was going to say. Rather than respond, Rooster gave Rick a death glare and took another drag on the blunt.

"I don't think we should have this conversation here," Rick said uncomfortably.

"I know somewhere that we can…uh…work this out," Lucky said, standing up. "I'll go quietly Officer Grimes."

They turned to walk out and Lucky jumped up onto Rick's back, piggy-back riding him out the door. Rooster shook his head sadly.

"He looked like he was going to go all Officer Friendly on us didn't he?" Songbird questioned. Before Daryl could answer she frowned at him and said, "You never give _me_ piggy-back rides."

"Darlin', you can ride anything you want," he answered.

That _was_ good shit; he felt sort of tingly and he realized he'd never noticed just how red Songbird's hair looked under these lights. He trailed his fingers down her braid as he listened to Glenn and Freddy talking about cows. It seemed like Freddy had won a convert. Daryl was on his way to being a cow. He laughed suddenly.

"What's funny?" Songbird asked, leaning back against him.

"Them," he answered, pointing at Glenn and Freddy who looked dead serious about the cow plan and then wrapping his arms tighter around her and resting his chin on her shoulder.

She wriggled her fingers and Rooster finally relinquished the pot. She took one more hit, holding her breath as she handed the blunt to Daryl. He took a long pull and leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes briefly. Freddy's voice faded away into insignificance. Songbird turned, straddling him and leaning forward.

"You're okay right?" she asked, taking the joint and handing it to Glenn.

"Yeah," he opened his eyes and grinned at her. "God, this is so much better than cocaine."

"Cocaine?" Songbird repeated in surprise.

"Yeah, Merle…that was kind of his thing and he used to make me do it when he didn't feel like being fucked up on his own. Always made me feel like my heart was gonna fuckin' explode or some shit."

"What does this make you feel like?" she asked, putting her hands on his shoulders so she felt steadier. It felt like everything else in the room was moving slower than normal, but also kind of too fast.

"Like givin' you a piggy-back ride," he answered, cupping her face in his hands. "Maybe all the way to Narnia."

The joint had made it back to them by that point, so they each took a few more hits before Daryl stood up and Songbird hopped onto his back.

"See ya'll later," Daryl said. "Thanks Rooster."

Rooster nodded and gave them a half smile as he said, "You two have fun."

Songbird giggled and waved as Daryl opened the door. The hallway seemed to stretch in front of Songbird but eventually they made it to the door of the fourth room. Daryl swung it open, turned on one of the small lamps at the front of the room and closed and locked the door. Then he carried her to the back of the room and she climbed up the ladder to the top bunk.

He followed her, thinking that they had all night before either of them had anything to do and planning to use it to his advantage, showing her that he could pace himself. He'd thought about it for a while, wishing he'd taken more time in the truck. Daryl was also aware that he would have taken her just as fast if they'd managed it in the barn.

She kissed him when he pulled her back into his lap, pressing his shoulders against the wall behind them and tugging the rubber band out of her hair, working his fingers through her braid until her hair fell around them, surrounding him with that clean cotton smell. She ran her hands down his chest until she got to the edge of his shirt, then tugged upward. He shrugged out of it and then began undressing her slowly. He was glad she was wearing another button up. He kissed his way down her body as he flicked open each button, shifting her so that she was lying down while he knelt between her legs.

"Daryl…" Songbird couldn't figure out why he was going so slowly when she wanted him so bad.

"What is it, darlin'?" he asked, undoing another button and pressing his lips to the skin above her belly button.

"What are you doing?" she asked, wondering how it was possible to feel so much pleasure from such simple actions.

"Enjoyin' you," Daryl answered casually as he flicked the next button open, kissing just underneath her belly button this time. "You don't like it?"

He knew damn good and well she liked it; he could feel her shudders of pleasure and he could tell by the way her throaty voice had gained a breathy quality that she was enjoying herself…but he wanted her to say it.

"I like it…" she answered. "But it's…it makes me…" Songbird wasn't sure how to finish the sentence in a classy fashion so she stopped.

"Good," the last button came undone; he pressed a kiss to her flat belly above the waist of her corduroys and then tugged her upright, kissing her lips as he skimmed the shirt off of her shoulders.

She parted her lips for him eagerly and buried her fingers in his hair. He'd given in and let James trim it earlier, but there was still enough for her to get a decent grip on. He leaned forward, pushing her back until they were lying down. She moved against him eagerly, but he ended the kiss, moving his lips down her neck, remembering how she'd liked it that night in Georgia way back in the early fall.

She still tasted just as good and apparently she still enjoyed it just as much. He could feel her pulse quicken against his lips as she arched her back, pressing her slight, flexible body against him. He ignored the temptation and enjoyed the sensation of denial, of voluntary torture. She looked so beautiful when was desperate for him. He was well aware that he was fairly high…actually decently fucked up, but God, he could have looked at her all night. Her full lower lip between her teeth, her small breasts pressing against the fabric of her fancy red lace bra as her breaths became ragged, her pretty strawberry blonde hair haloing out around her head.

"God, you're the most beautiful girl in the world," he said appreciatively.

Songbird shuddered as the rumble of his compliment shivered against her skin. Every sensation felt ten or twenty times more powerful; she could feel his callused hands scrape along her body, over her bra, to her disappointment. His beard scuffed along the already sensitive skin of her neck until she moaned, tightening her fingers in his hair.

"Why are you teasing me like this?" Songbird gasped. "I want you so much!"

"I'm all yours, darlin'," he told her. "You just have to play by my rules."

"Why?" she asked as his lips moved down further, over her collarbone.

"Older and wiser," he murmured against her with a slight laugh, moving down, just above her right breast.

She tugged his hair and pressed her shoulders against the mattress, trying to move up an inch or two. Daryl obliged her briefly, closing his lips over her nipple through the lace of the bra. Her back arched when he sucked firmly and then closed his teeth over the stiffened skin, not hard enough to hurt even though she'd braced herself for pain.

He liked the way her breath exploded in a whoosh of pleasure when he did that, so he switched sides, doing the same thing to her other breast. He usually preferred women with bigger breasts, but he liked the way Songbird's fit right in his hands. He continued lower, kissing his way down her stomach, pressing her hips against the mattress so she couldn't tempt him any further.

Songbird didn't know how to act. She wondered if this was selfish behavior. She wondered…she gasped when he unbuttoned her corduroys and kissed her belly right above her panties.

He continued pushing her pants down slowly, still kissing every inch of skin he uncovered.

"You're still way too skinny, darlin'," he murmured as he kissed her inner thigh.

Songbird wasn't capable of speech. She'd never known how sensitive her body was. The scrape of his beard felt even better on the inside of her thighs. He had to sit back to untie her sneakers and pull them off. He dropped her shoes, socks, and pants off the side of the bed. It seemed to her pot hazed mind like it took a long time for them to hit the floor. She was relieved though. He must be done teasing her now right? She didn't know whether she was disappointed or thrilled when he made no move to remove his own jeans.

Instead, he kissed his way back up her legs, getting a firmer grip on her hips and kissing her over her panties. She jerked instinctively, but he was holding her too tightly to let her get away.

"Daryl…I don't…um, I don't know what to do," she whispered.

"You lay there," he answered, making her shiver when he glanced up at her with a wicked glint in his eyes. "If you don't like it, I'll stop."

Her body jerked once more when he ran his tongue over the skin at the edge of her underwear, where her thigh met her body. He brushed another kiss on top of the panties, red lace to match her bra, he noticed, on his way to the other side.

He let go of her with one hand, tugging the panties down as he said, "Ah, you're already all wet for me, baby."

Songbird blushed, but her attempt at speech ended in a gasp when he pulled her down to meet his mouth. At the first lick, her body jolted involuntarily away, but he kept his grip firm and by the third lick she was moaning in pleasure. She had never in her whole life imagined someone doing this to her and she was totally unprepared for how it good it would feel. All the worries she'd had over what he was doing faded as pleasure rocketed through her body.

"Well?" he asked against her.

"Yeah," she answered. It didn't make sense, but he got the picture.

He continued, pressing his middle finger inside her, rewarded by a squeal of pleasure. Daryl wondered briefly if anyone would hear them, and then decided that he didn't give one little fuck if they did. He loved how tight she was; it made the aching more intense, but he was determined to make her cum more than once this time. It should be easy, he mused, pushing another finger inside her, as responsive as that lithe body of hers was. He was right; it was easy. About a minute later, he felt her nails dig into his shoulders and felt her tighten up around his fingers. Her body went tense as new bowstring as she came.

"Daryl!"

She clapped her own hand over her mouth a second later when she realized exactly how loudly she'd called his name. But, wow! Her legs were shaking and she couldn't seem to catch her breath and, as he got up onto his knees, finally unbuttoning his own jeans, she knew he was far from done with her. She sat up as he dropped his jeans to the floor, intending to return the favor, but he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into his lap, leaning against the wall again.

"See?" he said, brushing her hair back and kissing her neck. "Told you I'd let you ride whatever you wanted."

"Ride?" she questioned, leaning into the kiss. "Like a horse?"

He laughed and said, "You'll notice some similarities."

She caught her breath in a combination of laughter at his joke and pleasure as he moved inside her.

"Ah, yeah darlin'," he whispered in satisfaction.

"It doesn't hurt this time," she said, looking into his eyes in amazement and pleasure.

"Good," he answered, sliding his hands down her sides, down to her hips. He gripped her and rocked her forward. "Just like this," he said, barely holding back a groan at the tight fit.

She copied the movement, lifting her hips slightly as she moved forward and pressing down against him when she moved back. He slid his hands back up her body until he cupped her face while she braced her hands on his shoulders.

"We're keepin' this room," he informed her.

"So, we get to do this every night?" she asked, moving a bit faster and biting her lip as pleasure began tingling through her whole body.

"Every chance I get, darlin'," he said, catching his breath as she took him deeper and moved faster, arching her back. "Where'd you learn to move like that?"

Instead of answering, she kissed him. He felt nearly dizzy, unable to localize all the sensations of pleasure, probably due to the fact that he was still high as a kite. He groaned and returned the kiss, teasing her tongue with his, listening as her soft moans seemed to fill his entire mind. His focus sharpened until it was like she was the only thing in the world, the only girl there had ever been.

He pulled back slightly, kissing across her cheek and up to her ear, which he nipped just roughly enough to make her moan as he said, "Talk to me."

"Talk to you?" she gasped. "About what?"

"Don't care."

He was sucking on her earlobe now, making it almost impossible to concentrate. She jerked against him when he moved one hand down, tracing a teasing trail between her breasts and over her belly until he was brushing his fingers over her clit.

"Talk to me, baby," he said again as he starting rubbing, kissing back down her neck, and tugging a handful of her hair with his free hand.

"I love you," it was the only thing she could think of to say.

"Mmmm, you can say that as much as you want," he murmured against her.

"I love your voice," she continued, working her hips against him a bit more quickly. "And what you're doing feels…ohhh, it feels so good."

She practically purred those last few words and he took another deep breath, ignoring what his body was begging for. He rubbed a bit faster as she rode him a little harder and seconds later she threw her head back and he felt her tighten up even more as she called his name for the second time.

When that orgasm faded away, Songbird leaned forward, resting her head on his shoulder. He held her tight against him for a moment or two, letting her catch her breath. When she felt him jerk inside her, she realized that he still hadn't cum.

"Daryl…" she began.

"Don't worry, darlin'," he said, brushing his fingers over her cheek. "I'll handle the rest."

Then he wrapped his arms around her and, a few seconds later, she found herself on her back, with him on top of her. He hadn't even pulled out.

"You're really strong," Songbird murmured appreciatively, running her hands over his arms.

"You're really skinny," he said with a smile, liking the admiration he saw in her eyes.

Before she could respond to that, his mouth covered hers and he picked up the pace until she couldn't think about anything other than how good it felt to be with him. When he felt her body tighten on his again and caught her next moan with his lips, he figured he'd proved his point well enough to give in.

Songbird wrapped her legs around him and heard him groan. She held on tightly as she finally heard him say her name and felt his grip on her tighten as his body went tense.

Damn, it felt good to finally release the pressure. He wondered idly how long they'd been fuckin'. He rolled over, tracing her face, feeling her soft skin under his fingers, following the curve of her lips, tapping the end of her nose with a grin. She wrinkled her nose and stuck her tongue out at him and he grinned again.

"Aw, that's cute," he said lazily. "You're so damn cute, Songbird."

"I'm too skinny," she said suddenly. "I look horrible."

"No," Daryl responded seriously. "You're beautiful. I worry about you bein' so thin, but darlin', you're so sexy. You've had me thinkin' and dreamin' about you since the day we met."

"Really?" she rolled onto her side, running her hand down his arm and then his chest. She loved his body; the way he was built, with all that lean muscle rather than bulk, the way his skin felt under her palm, the way he looked so relaxed in moments like this.

"Yeah," he answered. "All I've been able to think about is doin' this with you."

"Then why'd you wait so long?" Songbird asked in confusion, hoping he would understand that she didn't just mean tonight.

"Didn't want you to regret it," he told her. "I'm not good enough for you."

She laughed; he didn't. She stared at him and said, "You really think that? Who do you think I am?"

"Haven't figured it out," Daryl said, twisting a strand of her silky hair around his finger. "Maybe an angel."

"Not by a long shot," Songbird said with a smile and a shake of her head. "Are we guessing my profession again?"

"Nah," Daryl pulled her close, kissed the top of her head and said, "For right now, it's enough to just say you're mine."

She blinked back tears of pure happiness. Guys never understood those, and she didn't want to ruin the most perfect moment of her entire life.

"It's all I've wanted to be," she whispered.

"And now it's what you are," Daryl said, closing his eyes, feeling the pleasant floating sensations of his remaining high luring him into sleep. "Good night darlin'."

The next morning, he actually woke up first. Songbird was cuddled close and he shifted her gently, so he wouldn't wake her up. He thought back over the (admittedly hazy) events of last night with a slight smile. He was pretty sure that he'd gotten her off a fair amount of times. Not bad for a guy closer to 40 than 30. He sat up, looking through the sheets and blankets trying to find…realization hit him like a punch in the gut. He'd totally forgotten to use a condom. No fuckin' wonder it had been so amazing.

Daryl rubbed his hands over his face and tried to control the urge to hyperventilate. It would be fine right? Sure, sure it would be fine. Because he was…a lucky guy that nothing bad ever happened to? Motherfuck! He climbed down, yanked his jeans on and headed out into the hall with the intention of taking a shower. He knew she'd be up soon; she'd promised another knife throwing lesson. People were seriously getting into learning from her. He wondered what she'd say to him about forgetting; would she be as terrified as he was? He tried the bathroom door and cursed savagely when it was locked.

"Dang. I'll be out in a minute," Glenn's voice came through the door.

Daryl slid down the wall and rested his forehead on his knees.

"See?" Glenn said, strolling out about five minutes later. "Was that so hard?"

He broke off when he saw the way Daryl was sitting, "What's wrong?" He'd never seen Daryl look like that.

"Have you ever done something so incredibly stupid that you just wanna shoot yourself?" Daryl asked; his voice muffled because he hadn't bothered to look up at Glenn.

"I've done my share of dumb stuff," Glenn admitted. "What'd you do?"

"I don't wanna talk about it," he answered with a heavy sigh.

"Did you do it to Songbird?" Glenn asked, sitting down beside Daryl.

"What?"

"The stupid thing," Glenn clarified. "I mean I already know you're doing it to Songbird…"

Daryl stared at the kid for a minute, and then realized he really needed to stop referring to Glenn as a kid…he had to be older than the girl in his bed.

"Yeah," Daryl finally said. "I did the stupid thing to Songbird."

Glenn watched the other man drop his face into hands and wondered what the hell Daryl had done this time. The Songbird was an adorable girl. If Glenn hadn't noticed the hungry, possessive way Daryl had watched her from day one, he'd have made a pass at her himself. She reminded him of an anime character with that slim build and those huge eyes. Of course, he'd also been well aware that Songbird hero-worshiped the redneck, so he wouldn't have had a shot anyway.

He was opening his mouth to just ask Daryl what idiotic thing he'd done now when the door to the fourth room opened and an extremely chipper Songbird bounced out into the hall. She'd left her hair unbraided and she was dressed casually for her lesson.

"Hey Glenn!" she chirped before leaning down and kissing Daryl; from the looks of the kiss, she certainly had no hard feelings over whatever Daryl had done to her. "I'm going to get breakfast! Are you getting in the shower?"

When he nodded she gave him a smile and said, "Okay, see you later!"

Glenn watched her walk down the hall and then he looked back at Daryl with a raised eyebrow.

"She seems to have gotten over it," he said dryly.

"Hell, she might not even know," Daryl said, wondering if he should tell her and wondering how she'd react if he did.

Glenn looked curious, but Daryl didn't exactly feel like explaining the situation so he stood up and said, "Well, I guess I'll get a shower…"

"Wait!" it was driving Glenn crazy. "The Songbird…she was a stripper wasn't she?"

"What?" Daryl was too shocked to be mad. "What the hell makes you think that?"

"Think about it!" Glenn said eagerly. "She won't tell anybody what she did, she's an awesome dancer, she said she worked in skimpy outfits…"

Daryl's mouth opened, but no words would come out. He remembered her saying something about never having pockets in her work clothes. No. No fuckin' way. Right? She _did_ move like a dancer, graceful and sexy at the same time. Glenn covered a smile at seeing Daryl standing there sort of slack jawed, in obvious deep thought.

"So she never told you what she did?" he asked.

Daryl shook his head.

"Well, I'm just sayin'," Glenn let the sentence trail off.

"No way!" Daryl finally formulated a full sentence. "She's way too innocent."

"Until she gets onstage," Glenn countered. "Then she's like a whole other person."

"You keep that shit to yourself," Daryl ordered, pointing at Glenn, who was still sitting on the floor, looking up at him from under that baseball cap he wore all the time. "Ain't no way my girl was stripper!"

"Okay!" Glenn held his hands up in fake surrender. "It wasn't like I was gonna spread the rumor around the compound or anything. It was just personal curiosity."

Daryl walked into the bathroom and slammed the door. Now he had two things on his mind. She might be a stripper; she might be pregnant. One option, unbelievably, turned him on just a bit. The other option scared him nearly to death.

He showered as he reviewed the situation in his mind. He'd always been so careful! He'd never really wanted kids…but he would have stepped up and done right by them if it'd worked out that way. But, to have it happen now…with no doctors… and she was so small! Sex might not hurt her anymore, but he knew that his cock, which wasn't exactly huge even if it was an inch or so more than average and sort of on the thick side, was a really tight fit for her. Would she even be able to have a baby naturally? He had no idea how any of that shit actually worked. Daryl knew she had extremely narrow hips; wasn't that a bad thing when it came to childbirth? Wasn't that why they said curvy girls had childbearing hips? His stomach turned over.

"Hey! Other people need to shower!"

"Fuck you!" Daryl shouted back as Shane pounded on the door impatiently.

"I've got watch this morning!" Shane yelled in return. "I'm almost outta time here!"

Daryl turned off the shower, but he took his time drying off and getting dressed.

"You should manage your time better," Daryl said, getting a kick out of the irritation on Shane's face as he went into the bathroom and slammed the door.

Songbird headed for the kitchen. Her munchies had been much too long denied, not that that she'd really been paying them much attention last night. She smiled to herself, remembering it. Being with Daryl just got better and better. She was pouring a glass of milk when she heard sounds of gastronomic distress coming from the hall bathroom.

She made an involuntarily face; she hated it when people barfed. When the yakking ended in choked sobs however, she felt duty bound to approach the door. When she knocked though, the door swung open and she saw Lori standing near the sink, hunched over with one hand over her mouth and the other gripping the sink. She spun around when the mirror over the sink caught Songbird's reflection.

"I'm sorry!" Songbird said. "I heard someone crying and I wanted to check on them. The door just opened when I knocked…" she trailed off when Lori's face crumpled and she began sobbing again.

"Oh, please don't cry," Songbird stepped forward hesitantly. Normally, she would hug someone who was so obviously distraught, but it wasn't like she and Lori were friends, or even remotely close.

"Don't tell anyone about this, please!" Lori gasped out.

Songbird didn't know whether she was talking about the hurling or the crying, but she nodded reassuringly and closed the bathroom door behind her as she said, "I promise I won't tell anyone."

"I just can't believe this is happening to me!" Lori burst out. "If the world was the place it used to be this never would have happened!"

Songbird was now totally lost, but she patted the woman's shoulder.

"What am I going to tell Shane?" Lori whispered. "Oh my God…what am I going to tell Rick? How can I tell them that I don't know? When did I become the kind of woman who doesn't know the father of her child?"

Songbird was glad that Lori buried her face in her hands as she asked the last question because Songbird felt her mouth fall open. Lori was pregnant? Holy crap! Now, even though she knew what was happening, she was no closer to knowing what to do.

"I don't know what to say," she finally admitted.

"No, but I know what you're thinking!" Lori exploded. "You and everybody else! You think I'm a liar; you think I'm a whore! I'm not that kind of woman! You people all seem to think that Rick Grimes is the best thing since sliced bread; how would you like to be married to a man who never told you he loved you? A man who lived to work, who never complimented you, who didn't even _notice _when you cheated? Do you think that it started with sex between me and Shane? He took me to dinner, to the movies, to the park for _months_ before I slept with him and Rick never noticed! I didn't have to use any of the lies I thought up because he _never once_ asked me where I was or who I was with!"

"Lori…you don't have to…" Songbird trailed off uncomfortably. "I know marriages break up…"

"Yes, but you think that we should have just told Rick, even though Rick and Shane are…were…partners. I didn't want to leave Rick with Carl being so young either. Carl loves Rick and he's always looked up to Shane too. I didn't know what to say…how to explain…" Lori ran short of breath and stared at Songbird, who was biting her lip and playing with her hair nervously. "Why am I even talking to you? You don't get it. Even if the guy you're with is twice your age he's still probably the only guy you're with."

"He is," Songbird replied mildly, even though she thought that comment was a bit insulting. "But if you want to talk…I don't mind listening."

"So you can go tell your best friend Lucky?" Lori asked scathingly, turning to wash her face.

"No, I promised not to tell and I won't," Songbird said, realizing that Lori had probably told her more in those few minutes than she had told anyone in the group in a long time. "I wish I could give you some advice…but I don't know what to say. But whatever happens is between you, Rick, and Shane. It's not the group's business at all."

Lori turned and faced her, giving her an appraising glance.

"You've grown up Songbird," she said grudgingly.

"Well…the influence of someone older and wiser on a nightly basis helps," Songbird said with a half smile.

Lori opened her mouth, shrugged and then, as if she couldn't help it, said, "What do you see in him?"

"Everything I've ever wanted in a guy," Songbird answered simply. "He protects me, he teases me, he looks at me like I'm the best thing in the world, and I love him. Yeah, he's older than I thought he'd be…but it isn't like he's ancient. He's only 36."

"Far from ancient," Lori agreed, giving Songbird a smile in spite of her tear stained face and puffy eyes. "I guess that if you aren't going to judge my relationship, I won't judge yours."

"I'd like us to get along, Lori," Songbird said honestly. "I know your life has been more stressful than anyone else's lately. If you want to talk or anything I'm here. Just no more insulting my Daryl."

Lori nodded and they exchanged a short hug before Songbird turned to go.

"Thank you," Lori called after her softly.

"Anytime," Songbird said, closing the door and biting her lip. Dang! That had really been something!

A/N: A lot going on here! I had planned to wrap it up before Season Two starts on October 16th, but people have a lot to say, so now I'm not so sure! Lol

SaraLostInes: Yeah, Freddy is a wonderful guy with terrible timing!

Gurl3677: Daryl got it all worked out, lol and I liked the barn scene too…it was supposed to end in sex actually, but then I couldn't resist the urge to make Freddy specify that he wasn't "doing" the goats. *Giggle*

Lucy Freebird: Room found! Privacy, which really is in short supply when you live with 14 other people, has been attained. Lol

Akuish: Lol! Did this help your "frustration"? And yes, James and Rooster are great characters; I love Gw3nhwyfar for creating them and lending them to me for this collaboration!


	25. Chapter 23

Songbird didn't like keeping secrets from Daryl. At least…not new ones at any rate. She had to bite her tongue every time they were alone to keep from spilling the beans about Lori's pregnancy to him. She managed to hold it in all that day and her mind was occupied later that night, but she'd been going crazy this morning. They had a patrol now though and it would take her mind off of it, hopefully anyway.

"Might as well check in with the tower," Daryl said, adjusting the sleek black crossbow hanging over his shoulder.

"The ghost?" she asked, raising her eyebrow. "Won't Mary Jane get upset?"

"Not if you don't tell her," Daryl replied conspiratorially. "Got your knives?"

"Yes," Songbird answered with a sigh as they headed up the stairs.

The sound of raised voices greeted them before Daryl had a chance to touch the door.

"What the fuck are you saying Shane?" Rick yelled.

"I don't know! Goddamnit Rick! I was just saying that I wondered if Lori could be sick! You're the one who's…"

"How dense are you?" Rick cut in.

Songbird drew back from the sheer venom in his voice and Daryl put his hand on the back of her neck in a comforting gesture.

"She's been throwing up in the morning? She's been moody and withdrawn? She doesn't have an appetite? What the fuck does it sound like to you?"

Daryl's eyebrows shot up and he glanced over at Songbird. She was chewing her bottom lip.

"You're telling me that you forgot how she was when she was pregnant with Carl? None of that sounds even a _little bit_ familiar?" Rick continued.

Songbird backed up when she heard one of the chairs scrape back loudly.

"What?" Shane didn't seem to understand. "She's…you're saying she's…"

"Sure sounds like it to me," Rick said bitterly. "Want to play a game? Who was fucking her when she got pregnant?"

Daryl took Songbird's arm and dragged her down the stairs with him.

"Lori…" he began.

"Lori's pregnant and she doesn't know who the father is!" Songbird burst out as they made their way outside. "She told me yesterday in the bathroom and I promised not to tell anybody so you can't tell her that I told you…but she is! And she's all freaked out and she was crying…" she went on with the story, noticing at the end how pale Daryl looked in the sunlight. "You look kind of sick yourself; are you okay?"

"I don't know," he answered. He looked sick? He sure as hell _felt_ sick. Daryl wondered if Lori being pregnant was some kind of sign. He took a deep breath and ordered himself to man the fuck up. "I've gotta tell you somethin'. When we were high…that night I might have…well, not might…that night I…"

Daryl broke off when he heard the scream. Songbird gasped, looking up instinctively at the watchtower. Shane and Rick had rushed to a window facing away. She could see that they'd both frozen. She caught Daryl's eye for a moment and then bolted for the area of the property they were staring at; the same area Rooster and Lucky were fixing the fence in.

A new, masculine sound of pure agony and rage cut through the air, so heart rending that Songbird stumbled, nearly frozen from the shock of it. Lucky and Rooster were standing near James. Blood poured from the man's leg; she caught a flash of white bone. But what nearly made her throw up was the headless body of a small child on the ground near him. It had been a little boy before it had become a Walker. Now that it was still, it looked heartbreakingly helpless.

Daryl saw Rooster jerk the shotgun from Lucky's grip and shoot James in the face. Something in the set of Rooster's jaw told Daryl what he was planning to do next. Daryl wasn't close enough to stop him. Songbird started forward again; Daryl yanked her back against him and covered her eyes, even though he couldn't seem to turn away.

Her breath caught when she heard the gun go off again. "Daryl?"

"Don't look darlin'," Daryl said hoarsely as Rooster's lifeless body collapsed, Lucky's knees gave out and she sat down, her face drained of color.

Rick and Shane had made it out by now, Rick ran for Lucky, scooping her up, trying to get her to talk to him. She stared right through.

"Daryl!" Songbird twisted, but he held on.

"You don't want to see!" he said firmly; he didn't want to see either, but he still couldn't look away.

Blood had pooled around Rooster and James. Blood and…more. Daryl was surprised when he gagged. Somehow all he could hear was James teasing him and calling him that Scottish thing. What was it?

"Ah bobhain," Daryl whispered. "He never told me what it meant."

Andrea put her hand on his shoulder and he turned.

"Take her inside," Daryl said. "Please. I don't want her to see. And keep the kids inside."

Andrea nodded and walked back in with Songbird.

Rick walked past him with Lucky in his arms just as Freddy came barreling out of the compound.

"No!" he dropped to his knees, reaching out and grabbing the front of Rooster's Army fatigues. "God no!"

Freddy's choked sobs united everyone. Dale, Glenn, Shane, T-dog, and Daryl all moved over to him. Glenn looked green and Daryl wasn't surprised when the kid threw up after one look at the hole that had been Rooster's face.

"We need to think about a burial," Daryl began after several long minutes.

"No," Freddy said.

Daryl was afraid they were going to have a long argument, but Freddy went on, "They wanted to be cremated."

Daryl nodded and offered Freddy his hand. Freddy stood after taking the offered assistance. Then he turned and walked inside after giving the men the go-ahead for the cremation. Daryl looked down at the red staining his hand and swallowed hard, wiping it on his jeans and then turning to get the fire ready. Everyone seemed to expect it from him; he could feel them all looking his way. He couldn't think of anything he'd rather do less then build a fire and watch Rooster and James melt in it. But someone had to do it.

"All right," Daryl began, forcing his voice out. "We need firewood, we need to find out where the fuck that little bastard came from and we need to get that fence the fuck put together."

Everyone nodded and Shane and Glenn got started on the fence while Andrea and Carol, who'd come back out, patrolled the area. Daryl, Dale, and T began the fire. When it was burning high and hot, Daryl and T tossed James in. His clothes caught easily and Daryl was glad that the smoke gave him a reason to blink hard and wipe his hand across his eyes. Then they tossed Rooster's body in.

Daryl felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Songbird standing beside him.

"Don't be mad," she whispered.

"I'm not mad," he replied.

She heard how strained his voice was and saw him swallow hard. He put his arm across her shoulders and saw her move her right hand in a familiar gesture. It crossed his mind to wonder if she was Catholic; why else would she cross herself? Why did it matter anyway?

Tears streaked down her cheeks. Lucky wouldn't speak and Freddy had refused to come back out. And James, who had been sort of a father figure, was in the fire with Rooster, who, while he hadn't been as close, had always been kind to her. These men had opened their home to 13 strangers and now they were dead. She sobbed and Daryl pulled her against him, cradling the back of her head and rocking her back and forth. It was a gesture that normally would have made her feel very childish but now it made her feel almost comforted. Almost. Songbird and Daryl both knew that nothing could take away the pain of the moment.

A/N: Oh god. This chapter was hard to write. That's why it's so short. I try to focus on the more lighthearted stuff, or at least human interaction stuff…but this is a Zombie Apocalypse and a sense of safety is a dangerous thing. The next chapter should be up much more quickly. I think Gw3nhwyfar and I were just avoiding the subject matter of this chapter honestly. Umm…next chapter will address pregnancy stuff and we will begin delving into Songbird's past. Hopefully no more sadness for a bit.

Anyway, glad everyone liked the last chapter and that you're all still reading!


	26. Chapter 24

Daryl was in the kitchen. He wasn't exactly sure why. He was more bored than hungry, but he was searching the pantry shelves anyway when he heard someone walk in. He wasn't going to say anything until he heard the clatter of something being dropped onto the kitchen table followed by a heavy sigh.

When Daryl looked out he saw Rick sitting at the table in front of a full tray of food with his head in his hands.

"She still not eatin' nothin'?" Daryl questioned rather obviously, for lack of anything better to say.

"No," Rick answered. "I don't know what to do."

Daryl eyed the tray; there was a peanut butter sandwich, a cup of applesauce, and a juice box.

"Well, if the juice box didn't tempt her I don't know what would," he said, reaching out and grabbing the sandwich, taking a bite as Rick dropped his head from his hands to the table with a thud. "So…it's been three days. Songbird says she won't even talk to her. She talkin' to you?"

"No."

Rick hadn't bothered to move, so the word was really more a despondent groan.

"She's gotta eat eventually," Daryl said logically.

"Try telling her that."

Daryl wondered if that was Rick's way of saying that he was aware that Daryl hadn't been to see Lucky since the incident. It wasn't like he was avoiding her specifically. He didn't know what to say to her for one thing and for another, if she wasn't talking then maybe she wanted to be left the fuck alone. Who knew?

He just wasn't good at handling grieving people. Songbird had cried herself to sleep every night since the attack and he still hadn't figured out what to say to her either.

"I just want to make this okay for her somehow," Rick went on. "I hate that she's in there hurting like that and we're all out here going on with our lives…"

"Hell, Rick it ain't like we threw a fuckin' party," Daryl said in an attempt to diffuse the situation. "It ain't been easy for any of us. We all liked Rooster and James…"

"That's not what this is about," Rick cut in. "She just lost her entire family! This is the thing that kept her going through all the shit that's happened so far. The one thing that gave her a reason to hope and now…"

"You're actin' like she's the only one," Daryl said. "She's still got her brother after all. So she didn't lose her whole family. And that's not what this is about either. This is about her dealin' with them dyin' in front of her. How well you think you'd handle that?"

"It's not _your_ fault!" Rick spat angrily. "I'm the one who caused this! I was the one on watch and I was too busy fighting with Shane over something that shouldn't even matter anymore to notice this happening right in front of me!"

"It's not exactly your fault either," Daryl was getting irritated. "It must have happened pretty damn fast, otherwise Lucky or Rooster would have taken that Walker down themselves. It was just…I don't know. I don't know why it happened, but it did and you blaming yourself ain't gonna fix any fuckin' thing. Lucky will come around eventually; you can't make her talk, you can't make her eat, and you can't make her do anything else she ain't ready to do."

"Then what do you suggest I do?" Rick asked sarcastically.

"Wait for her to get through it," Daryl said with a shrug. "Nothin' else you can do."

Daryl lay awake long after Songbird had cried herself to sleep. It had been two days since his conversation with Rick, which meant that a week had gone by since the attack had taken James and Rooster. Songbird managed during the day; she'd even taken over some of the chores that had been Lucky and Freddy's. Lucky still wouldn't speak and Freddy looked worse every day. Daryl was actually worried about him; there was a dangerous air to his grief.

Daryl sympathized, but he'd never gotten as close to the brother and sister pair as Rick and Songbird had. It was killing his friend and his girl to see how withdrawn the pair had become. Even though he'd said what he said to Rick there were times when he wished he could shake some sense into them; they weren't the only ones who'd lost someone. They simply had the luxury to be depressed over it. It he'd shut down over losing Merle for this long, he'd be dead. If Rick had shut down he'd never have found his son again, hell none of them had had the time or safety to process the deaths of the people they'd loved and lost.

He sighed and rolled over, wrapping his arm around Songbird. When his fingers rested on her flat belly a new thought pushed into his mind. He still hadn't had a chance to talk to her about what had happened the night before the attack. The fact that she hadn't asked told him she didn't know. But damn it, she cried herself to sleep against him every night as it was. She'd been pretty close with James; it made him feel so helpless when she cried.

She shifted closer in her sleep, moving his hand lower on her stomach. Daryl curved his hand around her protectively and then frowned into the darkness. He'd been terrified the morning after, scared nearly to the point of being sick. But now…he was still worried about her size, and her age, and the fact that there was no doctor, and no pain medicine to give her. But under all those worries was a surprising wonder. Boy or girl? Blonde or redhead? Knife or crossbow?

Huh. That was weird. He'd never wanted kids, never seen himself as a father…but he wondered now if that was because he'd never been with anyone he could see as a mother to his children. Songbird was smart and kind; she'd treat his kid right, not let the TV raise it while she smoked and chatted on her cell phone, not that she could really do any of those things anymore anyway. But he knew that she would raise a child to feel loved, the way she made Sophia and Carl feel. The way she made him feel. He made up his mind to talk to her the next day. She deserved to know and he kind of wanted to see what she'd say about the possibility of having a baby.

Songbird rolled over and rubbed her face with a sigh. Another morning. It felt so empty without Rooster and James, and with Lucky and Freddy being the way they were. She was startled to see Daryl sitting up, looking at her. She usually used the mornings to think and pray, something she'd never made much of a practice of, but something that lately she needed, while he slept.

"What's wrong?" she whispered.

"Nothing," he answered. "I just need to tell you something."

He wasn't whispering, but his voice was low and rough in the early morning quiet, prevalent all the more because they were underground.

She sat up and nodded.

"I meant to tell you before," he began. "Or you might already know, I'm not sure. But…the night we got high…the night we started sleeping in here…" he stopped and cleared his throat then cracked his knuckles.

Songbird wondered just how many nervous gestures he was going to use up before the conversation even got started.

"I forgot," his gaze dropped away from hers. "I forgot to use a condom and now…well, you might be…"

"Oh." Songbird pushed her hair back with both hands, gathering it behind her and studying Daryl. "Scares you doesn't it?"

"Hell, it oughta scare you! You're gonna be the one doin' this with no doctor, no medicine…what if something goes wrong?"

"So you're scared for me?" Songbird was surprised; she'd really figured that he was just panicked over the idea of fatherhood.

"You're really small," Daryl looked at her, sitting there looking so damn young that it gave him a pang in his chest. If anything happened to her, he'd never forgive himself.

"My mama was the same size as me and she didn't have any problems," Songbird informed him.

"Yeah, but you were born in a hospital, and I doubt your mom was as tiny as you," he argued.

"Okay, she probably weighed about 125, but her bone structure was the same as mine, narrow hips and all. And no, I wasn't born in a hospital. My mama had a, um, a home birth. No drugs, all natural. So it _can_ be done. And I'm sure Rick and Shane have had some kind of crash course in dealing with situations like this…not that it wouldn't be humiliating to have either one of them deliver my baby…" Songbird blushed at the thought.

"So, that's it?" Daryl stared at her. "You're ready to do this? Just like that?"

"Ready or not, if I am pregnant it's not like I'll have much choice," she said practically. "Why worry now when we can worry later?"

"Worry?" he repeated incredulously. "I've been scared out of my mind!"

"I know you probably didn't want a kid," she began.

"No…well, yeah. But it's for a different reason than it used to be. I wouldn't have trusted any of the women I was with before with anything living, let alone my baby. Now…well doesn't it seem like a shitty thing to do with someone? To bring them into this kind of world? I'm not sure there's a safe place left."

Songbird nodded without speaking. What was there to say? Daryl was right about the world being substantially more awful than it had been before. But it was also kind of nice to think that he trusted her more than the other women he'd been with.

Changing the subject and getting down to business, Daryl said, "So, when are you supposed to…you know…"

"Supposed to what?" she asked in confusion; he actually looked embarrassed, which was something that she'd never seen before.

He gave a vague gesture in her general direction and said, "Start…you know, start your…"

"Have my period?" she asked with a grin when she figured it out. "Is that something southern guys just have a hard time asking about?"

"Every guy has a hard time askin' about that!" Daryl defended himself. "Or do men in Ohio walk around discussin' this shit?"

"No," she said with a shake of her head. "I guess not." She paused and looked thoughtful. "Ummm, I don't really know…"

"How the hell do you not know? I thought girls paid attention to this shit!"

"I've never been crazy regular," she answered and when he grimaced and held his hand up, seemingly to try and shield himself from the conversation, she went on, "No way mister! You asked; you have to hear about it! Anyway, it didn't start till I was 17…"

"Isn't that late?" Daryl was literally shocked that he was participating in this discussion, but hell, he'd sat through health class in seventh grade, and apparently weird shit had stuck in the back of his mind.

"Not if you're athletic; professional dancers and gymnasts and stuff usually start late. Anyway, so it only started about 6 months ago…"

"Wait!" he stared at her. "Six months ago?" It was November, they'd met in September. "When's your birthday?"

"July," she answered.

Daryl dropped his face into his hands for a moment and sighed. Not only 18, but _barely_ 18.

"What?"

"Nothing, just feelin' like a perv. Go on," he waved her on and she shook her head with a half smile.

"Anyway, I started in May, had another in July, missed it in August, and then I think starvation and shock took care of the September and October ones. That can happen. A severe shock to the system can screw up your whole body. I guess we'll have to wait and see."

Daryl frowned.

"I hate waiting," he muttered, sounding irritated.

"Well, I'll do my best to hurry," Songbird answered dryly.

He realized that there wasn't much she could do, so he changed the subject.

"What have you got planned for the day?" he asked, climbing down from the bunk and getting dressed.

"Nuts," she answered, dressing as well.

"Uh, what?"

"Carl and Sophia and I are going to gather nuts. I was checking the other day and someone really needs to get on the harvesting. There are pecans, almonds, and black walnuts all ready for the taking. I found a recipe for pie. I was thinking about Thanksgiving…but it seems kind of wrong now…"

"I don't know," Daryl countered. "Maybe not. I bet I could find a turkey or two…I might think about goin' huntin'."

She just shrugged so he helped her put her jacket on and said, "Have fun darlin'."

An hour later Glenn came back from feeding the goats to see Daryl tossing a football up into the air and catching it, looking kind of bored. Glenn guessed he'd been playing with Michelangelo, who'd deserted and was now down by the trees with Songbird and the kids.

"Where'd you get the football?" Glenn asked.

"Found it in the barn," Daryl answered, faking a pass to Glenn. "Wanna toss it around?"

"Sure!" Glenn was surprised, but really happy not to have to go back underground and wander the compound all day.

Daryl threw the ball for real this time and Glenn backed up, watching it come down and catching it neatly. The compliment Daryl was going to give died when Glenn threw the ball back in a wobbly, non-spiral.

"Damn," Daryl shook his head and said, "Hold it the right way and that shit won't happen." He held the ball up, turning his hand to show Glenn how he was gripping the ball.

"I'm Asian," Glenn protested with a half smile. "We aren't usually jocks."

"Hell, I wasn't a jock either," Daryl said. "But I am a man."

Glenn caught the next throw and tired to imitate Daryl's grip. The next throw was better.

"How's that?" Glenn asked mockingly. "More manly?"

"Well…you know, it proves there's hope," Daryl shot back with a grin.

It was a nice day, colder than it tended to get in November where he was from, but it felt good to be outside and moving. Daryl had never been the type to sit around inside when he had any other option. And it got his mind off of worrying about Songbird. They moved farther and farther apart as Glenn got better with the football.

"Hey ya'll," T-dog called a bit later. "Over here!"

Daryl tossed it and T threw to Glenn.

"Man, it's nice to be doing something like this again," T said after a few throws.

"Careful, Daryl," Glenn said. "We may have an actual jock here."

Daryl nodded like it was a serious thing and T-dog said, "Played linebacker in high school."

"Running back," Shane said from behind Daryl, looking kind of awkward and a bit hopeful.

Daryl surprised himself by tossing Shane the ball and pointing for him to move out a bit to the right. Shane threw the ball back when he'd moved far enough away and the men continued throwing silently for a while.

"We could play a game," Shane offered. "There's enough room."

Everyone looked at one another; T-dog grinned, Glenn shrugged, but he looked excited at the prospect. Daryl put the ball under his arm and said, "Okay, but I…"

"I get T-dog," Shane cut in.

"Fuck." Shane had anticipated him and now he was screwed.

"Hey!"

"You said yourself that you weren't a jock," Daryl answered Glenn's protest with a smirk. "But I'm stuck with you now. Might as well make the best of it. No pussy flag shit either. Tackle football…just don't hurt anybody too bad and I'm fine with it."

Everyone nodded again, but this time Glenn looked sort of nervous. Daryl didn't blame him, that was one skinny kid. Hopefully fear of getting crushed by T-dog would motivate him. Daryl had the ball so after they figured out where end zones would be the game began. He threw the ball to Glenn; Shane intercepted it and ran; Daryl headed after him. T-dog headed after Daryl.

"Get a move on!" Daryl shouted to Glenn.

Glenn was pretty fast actually. Just as Daryl was in distance of Shane, T-dog knocked him flat. Then Glenn tripped over him. T-dog and Shane turned in the end zone to see Glenn sprawled on his face and Daryl flat on his back with both arms flung out. Glenn propped up and glanced at Daryl. Daryl's face was sort of contorted and Glenn figured he was going to get chewed out; he was all braced for it when Daryl suddenly snorted and then burst out laughing.

"Oh my god, that was funny!" he kept picturing himself hitting the ground and then Glenn tripping over his foot and sailing through the air.

"What did you do to him T?" Glenn asked with a grin. "You must have knocked something loose."

Daryl shook his head and chuckled again before getting to his feet and pulling Glenn to his.

"All right," he said. "Now. Step it up; they've got the lead."

Glenn managed to get ball from Shane and run a decent way, but when he saw T closing he turned and flung the ball at Daryl.

"The fuck?" Daryl caught it and ran, dodging T and bolting for the end zone.

Songbird glanced up from her discussion with Carl and Sophia when she saw movement from the corner of her eye. Daryl was running full out and Shane was chasing him. What on earth was going on? She struggled to catch the words Daryl was yelling, and that raised a new question. Whatever was going on, what was Daryl expecting Glenn to do about it?

"Glenn!" Daryl didn't bother to look back; he could practically feel Shane breathing down his neck. "Get him!"

Glenn threw himself at Shane, jumping onto his back and hanging on. It didn't knock him down but it slowed him down considerably and Daryl made the touchdown. He flung the ball down and pumped his fist into the air.

"Yeah!" he hollered, spinning around to punch Glenn in the shoulder or something…and then simply staring as he saw Glenn still on Shane's back. "Now that's dedication. I have to teach you how to tackle."

They all turned when they heard applause. Songbird had stayed where she was, but she was clapping.

Daryl pointed at her and called, "That one was for you, baby!" He'd seen jocks in high school doing that when they made touchdowns and he'd kind of always wanted to.

She laughed and went back to picking up nuts with the kids. By halftime though, the kids weren't paying attention to pecans or any other variety of nut…well, except for the four playing football.

"Want to go watch?" Songbird asked. "We've almost got them all anyway."

"Sure!" Carl looked eager and Sophia smiled and nodded as well, so Songbird grabbed two buckets, and let them carry the rest as they walked to the "sidelines."

"The kids wanted to watch," she explained.

The truth was…she wanted to watch too. She and Daryl hadn't had sex since everything happened with James and Rooster and watching him like this made her miss it suddenly. He'd pulled his jacket and hoodie off because he was running so much, what with Glenn ditching the ball as often as possible, so he was playing in that gray Henley she liked so much and his newish dark jeans. He was also laughing and joking with Glenn. Of course there was trash talk about T and Shane, but she could tell he didn't even really mean it. He and Glenn were down by two touchdowns as it was.

When the game picked up again, Sophia cheered for T-dog and Carl cheered (a little more low key of course) for Shane, so Songbird felt duty bound to cheer for Glenn and Daryl. Not that she wouldn't have anyway.

It was slightly more distracting to have Songbird right there, especially when she performed impromptu cheers, complete with jumps, but to his surprise he and Glenn closed the gap at the end of the fourth quarter, winning two more touchdowns.

"Hey we might win!" Glenn said in surprise.

"Might," Daryl agreed. "Can't believe it."

"Come on now," Shane called. "Get in the game so we can hurry and win it!"

"Ah, you know you're gonna lose; I wouldn't be so anxious to get beat if I was you!" Daryl called back, then exchanged a grin with Glenn and said, "All right, we got no plan right?"

"Right," Glenn nodded seriously. "To luck?"

"To luck," Daryl agreed, bumping his fist against the one Glenn held out.

The game started and Glenn got rid of the ball as soon as possible, like always. T-dog closed in on Daryl.

"Ah shit. Glenn!"

Glenn caught the ball just as T plowed into Daryl.

"Oh shit!" Glenn looked panicked.

"Run!" Songbird called, pointing helpfully. "That way! Now!"

Glenn ran; Shane followed. Daryl stood up and watched. Glenn made it and flung down the ball, then threw both arms in the air and yelled in victory. Shane tackled him anyway. Daryl pulled him up when he got over there and smacked his back.

"Boo-yah!" Glenn said with a grin, remembering the CDC.

"Boo-yah!" Daryl replied, then turned and pointed at Shane and T. "How you like that shit?"

"We should play more often," T said. "Then you'll be able to see that this was just luck."

Shane laughed and picked the ball up as Glenn began outlining all the reasons why he was awesome and that touchdown wasn't luck. Songbird walked up and Daryl swung her around before putting her back down and kissing her quickly.

"Congratulations!" she said with a smile.

"Hey! I won too! Where's my congratulations?" Glenn asked.

"Congratulations!" Songbird kissed Glenn on the cheek and gave him a brief hug.

"That's more like it," Glenn said with a smile. "Now, I'm going inside to lie down and possibly never move again."

"Ah come on," Daryl replied. "One tackle! One! I got tackled how many times?"

"Five," T replied with a grin. "By me."

"Three by me," Shane informed him.

"And I'm older than you," Daryl went on.

"A _lot_ older than me," Glenn cut in.

"You wanna get tackled right now?" Daryl asked, giving Glenn a squinty look.

Glenn ducked behind T.

"Isn't it lunchtime?" Sophia asked.

"Yeah, I'm starving!" Carl contributed.

"Okay," Songbird gave in. "We'll take the nuts in and find some food. It kind of looks like it might rain."

Daryl looked up and shook his head, "Snow clouds," he said.

"Snow?" Carl repeated. "Are you sure?"

"Well," Daryl amended. "I'm from South Carolina, so I've seen snow clouds about three times in my life. But I seem to remember 'em lookin' like that."

"That would be fun," Songbird said. "We could make a snow fort, and snow angels, and have snowball fights…"

"Wise in the ways of this snow stuff, huh?" Shane asked.

She smiled and nodded as she said, "I was in Minnesota once and there was this blizzard…it was so much fun!"

"Minnesota?" Daryl asked.

"Yeah, we were…" she broke off. "It was for work. My mom's work. Do you think we can convince your mom to make some chicken soup for supper tonight Sophia?" she asked, turning the conversation neatly away.

"I hope so," Carl replied. "I love chicken soup! We'll go ask her when we get inside right Sophia?"

"Sure," she agreed. "But what's for lunch?"

The four men and both kids turned to look at Songbird. She shrugged.

"I'll see what we have the stuff for," she said, trying to look irritated, but actually happy that the men had looked to her for food. Her culinary skills were basic, but everything she cooked had turned out tasting just fine and she sort of enjoyed cooking for a large group.

She was examining the pantry shelves when Lori walked in.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi," Lori leaned against the counter and said, "Shane and Daryl mentioned that you were thinking about getting lunch ready. I thought I'd see if I could help."

"I don't have any idea what to fix," Songbird admitted. "I'm not great with the meal planning."

"Well," Lori stepped into the pantry and glanced around. "There's venison and potatoes. Men never complain about meat and potatoes."

"Least of all Daryl," Songbird agreed. "I swear he'd live on meat if he could."

"I could make biscuits," Lori went on. "We could roast the meat and potatoes, that would be simple enough."

"The kids are gonna complain about having to wait," Songbird said, chewing her lip. "I should have been doing this earlier."

She rubbed her forehead and sighed.

"It's a lot to get used to," Lori said, patting the girl's shoulder. "Most girls…young women…don't start off keeping house for 15 people. I know I had enough trouble when it was just me and Rick. And anyway, there's still peanut butter. If Carl and Sophia get desperate, they can have half a sandwich to tide them over."

Songbird carried the basket of potatoes to the sink and began scrubbing them as Lori dealt with the venison.

"Do I still need to peel them?" Songbird asked.

"I usually don't," Lori answered. "But it doesn't really matter one way or the other."

Songbird began chopping as Lori let the oven pre-heat and then gathered the ingredients for biscuits.

"How are you feeling?" she asked after a moment.

"Better," Lori replied. "It sort of comes and goes."

As expected, the kids came into the kitchen a bit later and got sent back out with half a sandwich each and a promise of better things to come. A while after that, Daryl came in, trying to hide his surprise when he saw Songbird and Lori sitting at the kitchen table chatting.

"Hey!" Songbird greeted him cheerfully, like always. He figured that was one of the best things about being with her; she was always so damn happy to see him.

"Hey," he answered her and nodded to Lori. "Somethin' smells good."

"Me and Lori are making roasted potatoes and venison and she made biscuits," Songbird replied. "And it isn't done yet."

"That my cue?" Daryl asked.

"Yes," she answered. "The kitchen is women's territory. Move along, sir."

Daryl shook his head, but he went out. The other guys were standing around so he said, "Venison, roasted potatoes, and biscuits."

"Nice," T nodded. "Football really makes me hungry."

"Got thrown out before I could get an ETA," Daryl informed them. "But it smelled good."

Everyone scattered to do their own things while they waited for the food. Daryl went back outside, pleased when his prediction of snow came true. The snow fell heavily, in thick flakes that he knew would stick. He tilted his face up to the gray sky and opened his mouth, tasting the snow.

"Hey! It's snowing!" Carl shouted. "Daryl was right!"

Daryl turned, feeling sort of like an idiot for catching snowflakes on his tongue and saw Carl, Sophia, Carol and T in the doorway.

"Hey man," T said. "If you're gonna be out here…"

T gave him a "hook a brother up" glance and Carol looked down, a pretty blush spreading over her cheeks.

"Yeah, I'll keep an eye on 'em," Daryl said before he really thought about it. The kids came barreling out of the house and T-dog gave Daryl a look of thanks, placed his hand on Carol's lower back and closed the door as they turned. "Uh…" he looked at the kids, who were looking at him. "Stay where I can see ya. And stay the fuck…I mean don't get near the pond."

"Okay!" they chorused, running off down the hill, and then stopping and doing the very thing he'd been doing a minute ago, tilting their heads back in hopes of tasting the snow.

Oh well, if anyone would understand, it would be a southern kid. He pulled his hood up and walked down to the garden, still watching the kids out of the corner of his eye. There wasn't much left of the garden; there were a few vines climbing the stakes and he looked briefly at the parts of the fence he'd fixed with James that time. That had been before he and Songbird got together. It seemed like a long time now. The snow was falling fast enough that he could actually watch it piling up on the ground.

Carl decided to try a snow angel.

"That's not going to work," Sophia said with superiority.

"Did so," Carl stood and pointed to his snow angel.

Daryl thought that, in Carl's defense, there was only a little bit of dried grass poking through.

"Look at that," Sophia pointed it out. "There's not enough yet."

"It looks fine!" Carl protested. "Doesn't it Daryl?"

"Sure," Daryl responded, surprised to be asked.

"Oh come on!" Sophia was exasperated. "You don't see the grass?"

"Well, why don't you give it a shot?" Daryl asked. "See if you can do better?"

"Yeah," Carl said when Sophia looked like she was going to decline. "I dare you."

"Fine," Sophia fell back, arms and legs swishing. "But you have to help me up."

When she was done, she held her hands up and Daryl leaned down, picking her up and setting her away from her handiwork.

"I see grass," Carl said smugly.

"That was my point!" Sophia responded. "There's not enough snow yet!"

"She's got you there," Daryl told Carl.

"I dare you too," Carl said, looking like he wasn't sure how Daryl was going to take the statement.

Daryl rubbed his chin and looked down at the snow, then closed his eyes and fell back onto the ground.

"Fuck, this is cold! How'd you guys do this without stickin'?" he asked.

Sophia giggled and Carl laughed; Daryl moved his arms and legs out and back several times and then said, "And how do I get up?"

"You're on your own," Carl answered. "You have to kinda roll…but be careful not to mess up the angel."

Daryl managed eventually and the three of them stared down at the snow angel.

"It's not as bad as Carl's," Sophia said after a moment.

"Hey!" Carl protested. "Mine isn't lopsided!"

"Mine isn't lopsided either!" Daryl replied. "It's just…it's…artistic. That's artistic expression right there."

"Fine, it's lopsided art," Carl amended.

"Hey guys! Lunch is ready!" Songbird called.

Carl and Sophia ran off toward the door, Daryl followed.

"Why are you all covered in snow?" Songbird asked when he got to the door.

"I was defendin' my honor," he replied. "Carl dared me to make a snow angel…"

"Did you tell him you were genetically incapable of making any thing angelic?" she asked innocently.

Daryl gave her a long look and she laughed.

"Was yours the best?" she asked, putting her arm through his.

"Lopsided!" Carl called from down the hall.

"All right you little punk!" Daryl yelled. "After lunch it's on! I challenge you to another contest…"

Lori stuck her head out of the kitchen and Daryl was aware of the surprise on her face when she saw Carl laughing.

"And we'll see who makes the better snow angel," he finished.

"It's a deal," Carl agreed with a serious nod. "But it's me."

He ducked into the kitchen.

"It's me," Daryl whispered into Songbird's ear as they followed.


	27. Chapter 25

The day after the snow angel contest Songbird was scheduled to be on watch with Freddy. Daryl didn't like it, but he gave in when she said she couldn't think of anyone she'd be safer with if she couldn't be with him. However, now she couldn't find Freddy and they were already late for watch. She thought he might be in Lucky's room and she decided to start looking there.

She opened the door, used to just talking and having Lucky ignore her or stare straight through in that unnerving, grief stricken way and said, ""Hey, I was supposed to be on watch with Freddy and I can't find him anywhere. I was wondering if he was...oh." Lucky was apparently feeling better, because she and Rick were kissing. Why did things like this consistently happen to her? "Functioning... it's good to see you're functioning! If I had known..." Songbird backed up, preparing to leave. "I'll just look for Freddy on my own... you guys... you just continue to function..."

"Shut up, Songbird," Lucky said.

Figured; no beautiful friendly moment there. Songbird shrugged mentally and started to close the door.

Suddenly Lucky said, "Wait. You can't find Freddy? When was the last time anyone saw him?"

"I saw him going to the barn earlier while Daryl and I were walking Michelangelo. We came back inside before he came out though," Songbird replied, wondering why Lucky looked so worried.

"To tell the truth, he hasn't really been much better than you this week; I don't think anyone has really been able to talk to him lately." Rick informed Lucky.

"Shit!"

That was all Lucky said before she leapt off the bed and bolted out of the room. Rick started after her, so Songbird went after him. She was a fast runner, so she actually passed Rick and caught up to Lucky soon after she flung the barn door open. Songbird stopped in her tracks when she saw Freddy standing on a stack of hay bales. There was a rope around his neck. She gasped in a breath, but realized that there was nothing she could say. She heard Rick slide to a stop behind her, but he didn't speak either.

"Frederick McKensie, you get your ass down here, right now." Lucky ordered, sounding furious.

"Oh, and she finally speaks."

Songbird had never heard Freddy's voice sound that way. He sounded brittle and cold.

"Don't do this; I need you, Freddy," Lucky continued, changing her tone.

"You don't need me," Freddy nodded his head in Songbird and Rick's direction derisively. "You have plenty of people who can take care of you now."

"Screw them!" Lucky actually stomped her foot as she spoke. "You are my family, Fred. The only family I fucking have left!"

"I don't want to end up as some mindless corpse, Lucy. I don't have anything left. This is the only option I have."

His voice was still brittle, but the chill was ebbing away from it.

"You have me, Freddy. I'm here. I am here." Lucky had started to cry.

"Are you?" Bitterness filled his voice. "You've been hiding in your room, lost to the world. Maybe _I _needed _you_, Lucky."

"I'm here now. I am so sorry! This was all my fault and I..." Lucky's knees gave out. "I should have been there with you... for you."

Songbird wished there was something she could say, but she knew that nothing she could say would fix it. Freddy was still grieving over losing his dads and apparently, he'd felt betrayed by his sister on top of it all. He stayed still for a long time, just watching Lucky cry. His gaze moved to Rick and Songbird briefly, as he wondered if they were going to comfort her. Songbird knew Rick wanted to, but he was holding himself back. This was probably the only thing that would move Freddy at this point. And eventually…it did. Freddy got down and walked over, then put his arms around his sister.

"It wasn't your fault. God, I want to hate you. I just can't do it though. Damn you for being so likable!"

"I love you too, big brother." Lucky answered.

Songbird turned and left the barn. She wasn't sure how to feel and she knew that Dale and Andrea had been stuck in the watchtower that whole time. Daryl was in the living room, talking to Sophia and T.

"What's wrong darlin'?" he asked when she walked by.

"Want to take watch duty with me?" she asked. "Freddy's…indisposed."

"Sure," he answered.

They walked up and she sat in the swing chair.

"You gonna tell me or do I have to drag it out of you?" Daryl asked simply.

She told him. His eyebrows went up when she explained what Freddy had been doing. But what really had him surprised was the fact that her face was flushed with angry color and her dark eyes were shooting sparks.

"So…you're mad?" he asked when she finished.

"I don't know!" she burst out. "I don't understand why he did that! We were all here for him! I tried! God knows, I tried to get him to talk to me and he wouldn't and then he wants to kill himself because Lucky's upset about losing half her family? How was that going to help? What's wrong with him anyway? He didn't even have to watch them die! How would he feel if he had to see them ripped apart? What would he have done if he had to watch them turn? If he had to see everyone he loved dead or dying while he…"

She broke off and took a deep breath, rubbing her hands over her face. Daryl sat back and studied her. He'd thought that she was comparing Freddy to Lucky, but now he wondered if it might be more than that. Maybe she was talking about herself. It occurred to him that, while he'd wondered about her job and her age and her name, he'd never even asked about her family. Was that what had happened to them? What had she said…ripped apart? Watching them turn? Daryl had always thanked God that it hadn't happened to Merle…even though he'd gone crazy; his brother had stayed human until the end. Had something different happened to Songbird's family?

He knew better than to try to ask right now though, so he forced his voice into a cool, logical tone and said, "People handle shit different. Freddy was obviously more messed up than anybody thought. Maybe now that Lucky's interactive he'll get his shit together."

Three days after that, Songbird needed to get out of that compound. She and Lucky hadn't really talked anymore. Lucky was on a mission to get anything Freddy could use to kill himself under lockdown. And in that house it was quite a task. The snow had melted, much to everyone's disappointment, under a hard cold winter rain. It was soothing though. She was nearly asleep when she heard Daryl's voice.

"Songbird? You in here?"

"Yeah!" she scrambled over to the edge of the hayloft and waved. "Up here."

"What the hell are you doin'?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"I like it up here," she replied with a grin. "Come on up."

Daryl eyed the ladder and then shrugged and climbed up. She lay back in the hay and smiled when he dropped down beside her.

"Hey," she whispered.

"Hey," he answered, giving her a kiss and then pulling her against him so that her head rested on his shoulder. "Did the house get to be too much for you?"

The tension between Rick and Shane was high and Lori threw up nearly everything she ate. Lucky was busy and Freddy was vague. Andrea and Carol were spending more and more time with Dale and T-dog, having been reminded that lives could still be lost no matter how much safety wire stood between a person and the outside world.

Songbird shrugged and then nodded.

"It's raining," she said.

"Yeah I know," Daryl frowned. "I been walkin' around in it lookin' for you."

"I've always liked the rain," she went on. "And I can't really hear it underground, so I wanted to get some time to myself and just listen to it."

"Oh. You want me to go back…" Daryl began.

"No, you're good and warm and anyway, if I hadn't wanted to be with you, I just wouldn't have answered when you asked if I was in here," she informed him with a grin.

"I woulda checked up here," he told her. "And then you'd have caught hell for not answerin' me."

She snuggled closer and kissed his neck as she said, "I'm glad you came looking for me actually. You were all that was missing."

"Now that's just nice to hear darlin'."

"So," he broke the silence a while later, deciding to give it a shot. "Would I have met you if it hadn't been for this? I mean…would I have seen you anywhere?"

He held his breath, but his hopes were dashed almost immediately.

"Sly," Songbird acknowledged with a grin. "And it's impossible to say; it really depends on your interests."

"What do you mean my interests?" he asked, letting out his breath in frustrated disappointment. "I'm interested in normal stuff."

"Squirrel throwing isn't exactly a national hobby," she said, poking him in the side.

"You throw one…"

"String," she interjected.

"You throw one _string _of squirrels and you never live it down! I was fuckin' pissed!"

Songbird could tell Daryl wasn't really mad, even though he'd snarled the sentence.

"I know, I know," she said soothingly.

"So, what do you mean by "interests?" he asked, not dropping the subject.

"I don't know…" she looked thoughtful. "I could have been a teen pop sensation for all you know."

He nodded to acknowledge that he wasn't exactly up on that style of music and then he said, "You coulda been a stripper."

"How'd you guess?"

His double take informed her that her serious tone had been a success.

"Say what?" he asked.

"Sure," she went on. "Of course, back then we called it burlesque."

"Back then?" he repeated, totally lost.

"Yep," she stretched and looked out the barn window at the winter rain. "This happened in the twenties." When he only looked more confused she smiled and said, "What? You don't know that we've always ended up together?"

"You're talkin' about other lifetimes?" Daryl asked, finally catching on.

She nodded and gave him a grin.

"Yeah but you…" Daryl broke off with a shrug. He kind of wanted to hear the story. "I reckon your memory of past lives is better than mine. Why you think that is?"

"Too many drugs in this lifetime?" she questioned. "Or maybe I just slipped your mind this time around because you're so much older…" she squealed when he pulled her up, tugging her braid sharply.

"What?" he asked, looking down at her.

"And wiser?" she finished with a smile.

He kissed her quickly and said, "Nice. Go on and tell me about it."

Songbird was happy he was going to play along.

"So…the year is 1923," she began. "I'm working in a New Orleans speakeasy called The Painted Peacock…"

_"So, what made a straight arrow like you decide to come along for the ride?" Daryl asked as Rick got out of the taxi, adjusting his suit jacket fastidiously as he glanced down the nearly deserted street._

_ "God knows," Rick said disagreeably. "I don't know why I let you talk me into this. If the fellas at the station find out about this it'll be the living end."_

_ "Ah, don't be such a wet blanket," Daryl took a last puff of his cigar and flicked it into the road, listening to it hiss as it met the rain-wet black top. "I heard they've got this new singer. She's supposed to really have it."_

_ "Singer," Rick snorted. "That mean she goes onstage in more than feathers and makeup?"_

_ "Hope not," Daryl said, opening the big doors and stepping into a room hazy with smoke and pulsing with jazz._

_ "Take your coats fellas?" a short, busty blonde in a white fringed dress asked._

_ Daryl and Rick shrugged out of their coats and handed them over. As she walked away, a brunette in a red dress with a feather in her dark hair approached the two of them._

_ "What are you boys looking for tonight?" she asked, putting her hand on Rick's bicep._

_ Daryl smiled and shook his head. Rick got a good bit of attention, probably because of his blue eyes and non-threatening clean cut looks. But Rick was married and, unlike some men, he'd meant every word of his vows. Rick glanced at Daryl, aware that his friend found it hilarious when the birds flocked his way._

_ "Cards and a song or two," Daryl answered the woman. "Maybe something good to drink?"_

_ The brunette nodded and pointed to an empty table near the stage. They took seats and Daryl unsnapped his cuff links and dropped them into—_

"I have cufflinks?" Daryl questioned.

"Yes, don't interrupt," Songbird chided.

"Well, you gotta say what they look like," Daryl said. "I've always wanted cufflinks."

_They took seats and Daryl unsnapped his silver cufflinks and dropped them into the pants pocket of his suit, then cuffed his sleeves. The brunette came back with an ash tray and a deck of cards._

_ "What can I get you boys to drink?" she asked._

_ "Whiskey," Daryl answered, taking another cigar from his vest pocket._

_ She lit it for him as she raised an eyebrow at Rick and said, "What about you, blue eyes?"_

_ "Java," he said, taking the deck of cards and shuffling._

_ She looked like she wasn't sure she'd heard right. Daryl laughed._

_ "You ain't hearing things doll," he informed her. "He's straight as an arrow. Real wet blanket. Don't know why I bother."_

_ "Well…" she said. "I'll be right back then."_

_ "Hey!" Daryl called after her. "Word is there's a new singer…"_

_ "You're in luck," she answered. "She's up next."_

_ "What's got you so interested in music all of a sudden?" Rick asked, dealing the cards._

_ Daryl shrugged and glanced down at the hand he'd been dealt, trying not to frown. Wasn't much he could do with it except hope that Rick's luck was worse._

_ "She's got a catchy name," he said, squinting through the cigar smoke. "I wanted to see the dame attached to it, that's all."_

_ "And what is this awe-inspiring name?" Rick rearranged a card or two and held back a smile._

_ Being a copper always paid off when it came to card games. His friend's face had given nothing away but his posture had stiffened for a moment and then his shoulders had slumped just enough for Rick to tell that, card-wise, his buddy was out of luck. Served Daryl right for guilting him into coming to this juice joint full of floozies in the first place. _

_ They both nodded when their drinks were dropped off and Daryl handed the brunette a few folded bills. Rick hid a smile as the pretty waitress looked at Daryl with more interest than she had yet. His friend came off as gruff and business like, but he had a soft heart, especially for working girls._

_ "You need anything else, mister, you just call for Callie," she said, running her hand down his arm and smiling._

_ "Sure thing, doll," Daryl said, taking a sip of his whiskey and watching her walk away. She sure did have curves._

_ "So?"_

_ He looked up and saw Rick staring at him._

_ "So what?" he asked._

_ "So what's her name?" Rick questioned again, lighting a cigarette._

"Rick don't smoke."

"It's 1923! They didn't know any better. Back off my story telling!"

_"So what's her name?" Rick questioned again, lighting a cigarette._

_ "Songbird," Daryl answered._

_ "Right," Rick snorted. "Where do these dames get their ideas?"_

_"Dry up; ever since you went down the middle aisle you've been a real…"_

_ "Leave my marriage out of this," Rick pointed at Daryl. "You're just mad 'cause you're still neckin' in struggle buggies…"_

_ "What I'm doin' in the backseat is none of your business, copper," Daryl said with a grin. "And it has nothing to do with that. Is it the hooch?" He held up the whiskey and looked at Rick through the amber liquid._

_ "No," Rick sighed, knowing Daryl would rib him endlessly if he admitted that he just wanted to go home to his woman. "Let's just get a look at this little smarty and then book all right?"_

_ "All right, all right. Practically givin' me the bums rush and she hasn't even shown her face yet!" Daryl was irritated._

_ The lights dimmed and a man stepped up to the microphone just then._

_ "Gentlemen, you are in for a treat!" he announced. "Our newest lady has consented to give us a song or two. Put your hands together for The Songbird!"_

_ She stepped onto the stage, her head held high and a slight smile curving the right side of her mouth. Rick watched Daryl choke on his last swig of whiskey. The woman was in her twenties—_

"Twenties?" Daryl questioned.

"Closer to your age," she said.

"I like you the way you are," he informed her, tracing her lips with his index finger.

She smacked his hand away after a second or two and sighed.

_The woman looked young; she had red hair and she wore a green dress with a feathered bustle, the skirt was full and gathered in the back, but short in the front, only reaching mid-thigh. She was busty—_

"Quit changin' yourself if you're keepin' me the same."

_ The woman was small and fine boned, with long legs. She looked around the room, acknowledging the crowd. Then the piano player began and she started to sing. Daryl recognized the song, "Down Hearted Blues;" she sang it well, her voice was perfectly suited to the blues and she swayed as she sang, keeping his gaze from wandering too far._

_ "Nice gams," Rick said after a moment._

_ "Ab-so-lut-ley," Daryl muttered. "Can't believe a dame like that's wastin' time in a drum like this."_

_ "Once I was crazy 'bout a man,_

_He mistreated me all the time,_

_ The next man I get has got_

_ To promise to be mine all mine"_

_ Songbird hoped she was getting her lyrics right. Getting the lyrics right and making sure to make every man in the room feel like she was singing to him and him alone were the two main parts of her job. Since she couldn't take her eyes of the man at the table to the left of the stage, she knew she was already failing at half her duties._

_He was just so captivating! He was wearing a gray suit, or at least most of a gray suit, he'd given his jacket to Bet at the door, and while his white shirt was clean, it was far from crisp; the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and she would have bet that if it weren't for the gray vest he still wore she'd have seen a lot more wrinkles in the shirt than she did. He had several cards in his left hand and a cigar in his right. There was an empty glass on the table and from the size of it she knew that he'd been drinking the house whiskey. So, not a high hat, but not fried either. A welcome touch of class. He was watching her too. She gave up on even entertaining the idea of singing to anyone but him._

_ "What do you know?" Rick asked dryly. "Looks like she likes you."_

_"Kinda unreal," Daryl said, flagging the waitress down and saying, "Two more if you can get the Songbird to drink with me after her song."_

_ "Sure thing," Callie said with a grin when he handed her another few bills; she gestured at Songbird._

_ Songbird nodded, her heart rising into her throat when she recognized the gesture. The man in gray wanted her to have a drink with him. She finished the song just as Callie dropped the drinks off._

_ Daryl took a deep breath when she started to leave the stage._

_ "Nervous?" Rick asked._

_ "Stuff it," Daryl muttered in an undertone. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"_

_ "Not on your life," Rick lit another cigarette and leaned back._

_ The girl walked over and sat down, touching the whiskey with the tip of one long slender finger._

_ "For me?" she asked._

_ "If you want it," he answered._

_She picked the glass up and took a small sip. Their house whiskey was always good. People came from all over New Orleans for it, which provided more than enough scratch to persuade the beat cops to ignore the hooch. As evidenced by the fact that the man with the guy in the gray suit was a copper himself. Songbird knew it as sure as if he'd come in wearing the badge. He was too aware. And he was drinking coffee._

_ "So…" she and the man said at the same time._

_ He liked the throaty way she laughed at that._

_ "What's your name mister?" she asked._

_ "Daryl," he replied. "And you?"_

_"You heard them introduce me," she answered. "Songbird."_

_ "That's can't be your real name though," he said. "Be on the level."_

_ "Songbird's as real as it gets," she said, sipping again. "What are you boys playing?"_

_ "Gin," Rick said. "He's losing."_

_ She looked from the cop to Daryl and then smiled as she said, "Well Daryl, your friend must be cheating."_

_ Daryl laughed._

_ "What brings you two out tonight?" she asked. "It's been raining cats and dogs all evening."_

_ "Heard good things about the new singer," Daryl said, leaning forward and lighting the cigarette she'd placed in her long cigarette holder. "Thought I'd see if she was everything she was cracked up to be."_

_ Songbird exhaled a thin plume of smoke and watched him sip his whiskey._

_ "Is she?" she asked._

_"I don't know," Daryl answered looking at her closely. "I'd heard she was a pretty dame with a great set of pipes."_

_ He paused long enough for her heart to stop and then said, "But nobody told me you'd steal my heart with one song."_

_ She knew she should say something flirty about him running lines but the intensity of his gaze told her that he wasn't. Songbird swallowed hard._

_ Rick looked between Daryl and the burlesque dancer and he saw something that he'd never seen in his friends eyes. Apparently Daryl was instantly goofy over this dame._

_ "Did it get hot in here all of a sudden?" Rick asked._

_ "Go chase yourself," Daryl said, not looking at him._

_"Yeah, I'd better get home to the wife anyway," he said. "See you later."_

_ "Have fun with her," Daryl called after him._

_ "Well, you know," Rick took his coat and hat from Bet, tipped her, and grinned at Daryl. "She's a Lucky girl."_

_ Songbird looked confused so Daryl explained, "His wife's name is Lucky."_

_ "And you gave me trouble about being Songbird?" she questioned._

_ "Life's no fun if you can't tease every once in a while," he shrugged._

_ "I suppose that's true," she replied. "Do you do that often? Tease, I mean?"_

_ He looked into her wide blue eyes, so dark and so oddly innocent._

_ "Only pretty girls," he said flicking ash off his cigar and watching her blush. "You work late?"_

_ "Till close," she answered._

_ "You singing again?"_

_"Yes; I'm supposed to be up there now," Songbird smiled._

_ "When you sing," he said, leaning forward and capturing her with his eyes. "Don't sing for anybody but me."_

_ She finished the whiskey and said, "Stick around and you can walk me out."_

_ He nodded and she took the stage again. He tried not to be jealous as other men looked at her body in that dress. He switched from whiskey to coffee and listened to her sing till closing time came around._

_ "I have to change," she said. "But I'll be right back."_

_ He waited and relaxed a bit when she came back, wearing a simple dress and carrying a car coat._ _Daryl took the coat and helped her put it on, then put his hand on the small of her back and walked her out into the night. It had rained again, and the air was misty and close._

_"You have a driver?" he asked._

_ "No," she answered. "I usually get a taxi."_

_ "I can take you home doll," he said. "If you trust me."_

_ "Sure," she said, trying not to shiver under the sensation of his hand on her back._

_ He opened the car door for her and she got in. She gave him directions to her apartment building and he drove quietly, it wasn't a long way away. She kept sneaking glances at him._

_ "You forgot your jacket," she said when they pulled up at her building._

_ He glanced down at himself and realized she was right._

_ "Gives me an excuse to go back," he gave her a smile, rolling his sleeves back down now that he wasn't concentrating on driving._

_ "Thank you for the ride," Songbird said._

_ "You're welcome," he couldn't seem to drag his gaze from her lips._

_ She didn't want to get out of the car; he reached for her slowly. Not tentatively; she could see that he had a plan; he was just giving her time to back off. She didn't want to. His lips met hers and she opened her mouth for him. She didn't normally neck like this with total strangers, but it felt right to taste the whiskey on his tongue, to feel his hand behind her head, holding her in place so that he could take his time with her mouth._

_He kissed her until he ran short of breath. Damn, that girl could kiss! It had never been a favorite part of the experience until now. He was aware that his breaths were ragged as he moved down her neck, feeling her pulse increase under his lips. Her breaths were no more even as her hands went to his vest, gripping it and tugging him forward._

_ "Backseat?" he asked, wondering if she was going to slap him or something, but unable to keep from asking the question._

_ "Right now," she agreed._

_They broke apart long enough to scramble over the seat and then he pushed her dress up, finally getting to run his hands all the way up those long, smooth legs. She was pulling his vest off and unbuttoning his shirt as he yanked her coat down, binding her arms while he shoved his pants down. Songbird gasped when he moved over her, capturing her mouth again as he pushed inside her._

_ He hadn't planned to take her this fast, but when his cock had brushed against her, he'd found her so wet that he couldn't help but thrust forward. She threw her head back and he licked down the delicious skin of her neck. She smelled like perfume and she tasted sweet and she was so tight that he groaned. He let her go and she wriggled out of the coat. Daryl liked the way Songbird's hands had clenched in his hair; he loved the way her hips rose to meet his thrusts. He'd never been with such a bear cat in bed…well…in backseat before._

_ She'd never had a lover like him; he filled her up and it seemed like he stroked every nerve in her body with each thrust. She worked to hold back her screams as he pounded inside her body. She gasped as she felt herself start over the edge. She'd never had an orgasm with a lover before and it was so much stronger with his thick cock buried deep inside her._

_ Daryl covered her mouth with his, pleased that she was the type that let a fella know when she was feeling good. He followed her quickly, hoping not to be judged on it; he didn't think he would be… the whole encounter had been quick and desperate after all._

_"Won't you come upstairs?" she invited after a few moments._

_ The proper form of the request struck him as hilarious since he was still inside her, feeling their combined wetness and warmth all around his cock. _

_ She laughed as well and he kissed her before saying, "Sure thing, doll."_

"What happened to them?" Daryl asked when the story was told.

"Us," Songbird corrected with a grin. "We stayed together…died in a blaze of glory running hooch."

"Great way to go," he agreed. "So…the sex…"

She smiled at the playful expression on his face.

"Yeah?"

"Was it like this?"

He got it exactly right and when it was over she gave him a smile and said, "See? I knew you'd remember."

"Yeah, it's all comin' back to me," Daryl agreed, pulling his jeans back on and picking long strands of hay out of Songbird's hair. He was so relieved over her not being a stripper that he decided to let finding out what she really was go for a while. "Can we go back in now? The rain's over anyway."

"Yeah, I guess so," Songbird dressed as well and followed him down the ladder, taking his hand once they were back on the ground. "That was nice, by the way."

"Sure was," he agreed. "I never fucked anybody in a barn before."

"Really?" she was oddly pleased.

"Yep," he caught his breath as the wind seemed to cut straight through him when he opened the door.

"So where did you do it?" she asked as they walked.

"What?"

"Where did you have sex?" Songbird elaborated.

"At home," Daryl said. "Benefit of living alone."

"Kind of boring though," she said with a smile.

"Yeah, well, when you're 15 you're pretty much just happy to be gettin' some," he explained. "But…I will say that I prefer fuckin' you. No matter where we are."

She leaned against him as they walked into the compound.

"That's sweet," she said, looking up at him.

He laughed and slung his arm over her shoulders, kissing the top of her head as he said, "You're somethin' else, darlin'."

A/N: The previous chapter was just so much fun to write! I'm glad you all liked reading it as much as I liked writing it; it actually turned out to be my favorite chapter…even if there wasn't any sex in it. Lol


	28. Chapter 26

Songbird, Daryl, Andrea, Carol, and Sophia were sitting at the kitchen table playing Uno when Dale poked his head into the kitchen and said, "Lucky asked me to come find you all. We've got big news."

"Big news about what?" Andrea asked, thinking she hadn't seen him look this excited and hopeful in a while.

"You'll see," Dale promised. "Come along, all of you. We're meeting in the living room."

Daryl threw his arm over Songbird's shoulders and hung back a little bit, letting the others go first. It might have been her nature to be first in line for anything that happened, but it had never been his.

Songbird squeezed Daryl's hand when Lucky informed the group that someone had made contact with the compound over the CB. She went on to give them the details of the group, known on Rooster's map as Area 3. They were camped about 12 miles to the West of the compound and they were pretty well set up. And they were human. Lucky wanted to go and send them some food. Excitement built up in Songbird until she thought she'd burst. New people! Human people! Survivors! She grinned up at Daryl, but he didn't return the smile. He was looking at Lucky with a squinty expression. Uh-oh. Daryl Dixon did not approve.

Neither did Lori Grimes.

"Why do we have to go anywhere?" she asked sharply.

"These are good people! I've known most of them since I was a toddler, I am not about to let them starve! Not that being a stranger would stop me from helping Area two if I knew we could do it without risking lives," Lucky sounded angry and Songbird hoped the situation wasn't going to dissolve into a big argument. Lori's statement seemed cold…but Songbird could see where she was coming from, even if she didn't agree. "What if it were us?" Lucky continued. "Wouldn't you want someone to help, no matter how little it was?"

Now that, Songbird understood and agreed with, but she didn't want to jump in. She was still very much aware of the age difference between her and everyone else in the group. She caught Glenn's eye, and she could tell that he was thinking the same thing.

"I agree. We would want help if we were in the same situation, and we have plenty to give." Dale spoke firmly, but he didn't sound mad.

Glenn, T-dog and Shane nodded, showing that they felt the same.

"I think we can send a couple of men over, maybe see if they got anything to offer in return," Shane spoke up.

"We can do an inventory on our supplies and see what we can afford to give away. I think we could be ready to go by tomorrow morning." Rick decided, before turning and placing his hand on Lucky's arm as he looked down at her. "Look, baby, we all know that your heart is in this, and I agree that we should help, but I don't think that you are..."

"Oh no!" Lucky cut in. "Don't you dare say that I am not going to go!"

"You've been sick, I just don't think that in your condition..."

"My condition?" Lucky repeated. "Really, Rick? I was sad. I'm fine now and I am going."

"Like hell you are!" Songbird raised her eyebrows when Rick raised his voice. "I'm not going to lose you right after I just got you back!"

"Are you going?" Lucky asked the question calmly.

"What?"

"Are _you_ going?" she asked again.

"Are you saying that you don't want me to? Because, I think I can do more good out there than here."

Daryl realized that Rick had just lost his advantage with that last statement.

"So do I." Lucky agreed smoothly. "But don't think I am the kind of woman that is going to sit and worry while I wait for you to come home. I'm coming with you."

Rick didn't know what to say. Freddy laughed and slapped him on the back.

"I do believe you have your hands full with this one, Rick. I can't tell you how many times she pulled that on me when we were kids. Well, not that exactly, but it was pretty..."

"Shut up Freddy," Rick said in defeat. "I guess it won't be too dangerous if we all go in the truck." He glanced Daryl's way and Daryl nodded. "Just don't think that I am going to let you out of my sight for a second while we're out there."

"I would never dream of it," Lucky sounded way more innocent than Songbird knew she was capable of being, but she still thought it was cute that Rick pulled Lucky close with a half smile.

"So are we bringing a bunch of strays home or are we just giving away all of our food?" Daryl drawled, cutting into the sweetness and ignoring the dirty look Rick gave him. He could flirt on his own time.

Songbird didn't give anyone time to answer Daryl's extremely sarcastic question. She stepped in front of him and pumped her fist into the air with purpose. She was going damn it, and if she had her way, Daryl Dixon would be right with her.

"And if Lucky is going I am going too whether you go or not!" She winked at Lucky with a grin.

"Oh I'm going," Daryl informed them, as if he'd never had any other intention. "I'm just saying it's a bad idea."

"Oh Daryl, stop being such a drama queen." Songbird teased, putting her hand on his bicep and patting it soothingly.

He sighed, thinking that, God rest him, James had been a bad influence.

"Well we need to decide who stays and who wants to go," Dale said.

"I'm going," Lucky and Songbird spoke at the same time.

"We know," Daryl and Rick spoke at the same time too, but in an entirely different tone.

"I figured it out," Daryl said that night as they were finishing up sorting and folding laundry.

"Figured what out?" Songbird asked, folding T-dogs jeans and laying them in the pile with the rest of his stuff.

"What you used to do," he answered, pulling the last of his shirts out of the jumble and folding it, then tossing it in the stack of his and Songbird's clothes. "It's the only thing I can think of that you'd be this ashamed over."

"Oh?" she was curious as to what he'd come up with, and kind of glad to get her mind off of going to meet new people the next day.

"Yep," Daryl nodded and gave her a grin. "Most hated job in America. Telemarketer."

Songbird laughed.

"You got me," she said, but he knew by the sparkle in her eyes that he'd missed by a mile.

At least this way he'd get another story out of it. His girl was quite a story teller.

"So, darlin'," he said. "How you think we woulda met then?"

Songbird looked thoughtful as she picked up their stack of clothes. Daryl took half the stack and opened the door to their room when they got to it.

"Okay," she said, laying the clothes on the lower bunk. "I've got it."

Daryl sat down beside the clothes and said, "All right, tell me about it."

Songbird lay down, her feet resting near the head of the bed and her head in his lap as she began.

_"Phone's ringin'!"_

_ "I hear it!" Daryl yelled back, aggravated. He was in the middle of making dinner._

_ "Well then answer it! I'm watchin' somethin'!"_

_ Daryl flipped Merle off as he walked past him and grabbed the cordless phone._

_ "Hello?" he said, hurrying back to the kitchen._

_ "Hello, my name is Marie and I'm calling from…"_

_ The grease he was frying the chicken in suddenly popped, getting him right in the thumb._

_ "Motherfucker!" he stuck his thumb in his mouth._

_ "I take it this is a bad time?" the girl on the other end of the line said dryly._

_ He really heard her voice for the first time and realized with a jolt of surprise that he really liked it. It had a low, sultry quality. Sort of the way he imagined a phone sex operator sounding._

_ "Cookin'," he explained. "Burned myself. Uh…go ahead."_

_ "Okay," she took a deep breath and launched into her sales pitch._

_ He let the sound of her voice slide around him._

_ "So, would you be interested?" she asked, kind of surprised to even get through the introduction. She'd been hung up on about 500 times that night._

_ "In what?" Daryl asked._

_ She tried not to sigh in frustration. Apparently he hadn't been paying any attention at all. She'd be damned if she was going to repeat the whole thing, even if she did like the sound of the guy's voice. He had a great Southern accent._

_ "Oh," he belatedly realized what she'd been selling and said, "Uh…I don't usually buy stuff over the phone…"_

_ "Well, at least you didn't hang up on me," she said with a slight laugh. "Thanks for your time…"_

_ "No wait!" the words came out before he could stop them._

_ "Yes?" she asked._

_ "Uh…" he had no idea what to say next, but he wanted to keep her on the line. "Where you callin' from?"_

_ She gave him the name of the business._

_ "Yeah, but I mean…where is it?"_

_ "Maine," she answered, even though she wasn't really supposed to._

_ His heart sank for some reason. Maine._

_ "Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?" she asked, unsure what to say and oddly reluctant to hang up._

_ "You like your job?" Daryl asked._

_ "Love it," she answered and he smiled when he heard the smile in her words._

_ "Aw, come on," he said. "You get to call people like me, who yell the word motherfucker in your ear over cookin' accidents."_

_ "I've heard worse," she admitted, leaning back in her chair and twirling the phone cord around her finger; to hell with her supervisors, she wanted to enjoy his voice._

_ "Yeah?" he leaned against the counter._

_ "Oh yeah," she confirmed. "You're really cooking?"_

_ "I really am," he replied. "Hard to believe?"_

_ "I don't picture you as the cooking type," she said, blushing when the words were out. She didn't want him to know that she was picturing him at all._

_ "How you picture me?" Daryl asked._

_ "Ummm, sort of rough around the edges," she replied. "Like a hunter, not a chef."_

_ "I am a hunter," he answered. "I'm planning to take the crossbow out this weekend actually."_

_ "Crossbow?" she leaned forward in surprise. "That's really awesome!"_

_ He laughed at the admiration in her voice as he took the chicken out of the pan._

_ "Well, it's different that's for sure," he said._

_ He frowned when he heard a sharp male voice in the background and the girl say, "Yes sir."_

_ "I better get back to selling things," she said, her voice full of regret. "But it's been good talking to you…"_

_ "Write my number down," he said, making a split second decision._

_ "What?" her heart skipped._

_ "You got it, right?" Daryl asked._

_ "Yes," she whispered._

_ "Keep it," he said. "Call me back sometime. From a private phone."_

_ "I don't know if I'm allowed…" she began, but she was already copying down the digits._

_ "I'd like for you to," he said. _

_ She tucked the paper in her jeans pocket as her supervisor came back her way. "I have to go now. Have a nice night sir."_

_ "You too darlin'," he said just as Merle walked into the kitchen._

_ "Darlin?" Merle questioned, getting a plate and taking half the chicken._

_ "Shut up and eat," Daryl said, already wondering if she'd call him again._

_ She didn't call that night or the next day. It bothered him more than he wanted to admit. That night, he was sitting on the concrete block front steps, smoking and wondering why her voice had affected him so deeply, when the phone rang._

_ "Hello?"_

_ "Um…hi," she sounded nervous. "I don't know if you remember me…"_

_ "Marie," he said. "That really your name?"_

_ "Actually," she admitted. "I prefer Songbird, but the company didn't think it was professional…"_

_ "It suits you though," he said, taking a draw from his cigarette and willing his heart to stop slamming against his rib cage. "Where'd you get a name like that?"_

_ "Same place everybody gets their name," Songbird said, lying back on her bed in her small apartment and relaxing as his Southern accent soothed her jangled nerves. She'd been terrified to call him back; she'd actually dialed the number and hung up before it could connect several times. "Someone gave it to me."_

_ "I guess you think it's weird that I asked you to call me," Daryl began, wondering how to explain without offending her._

_ "Sort of," she admitted. "I'm more used to people asking me not to call them actually."_

_ He grinned again at the humor in her sexy, throaty voice._

_ "It's your voice," he informed her. "You've got the best voice I've ever heard and I wanted to hear more of it."_

_ She blushed, even though he obviously couldn't see the effect that compliment had on her._

_ "I really liked yours too," she said. "I like your accent."_

_ "You don't sound like you're from Maine," he said, hoping that she'd been lying._

_ "I wasn't born here," she answered. "Traveled a lot, I don't think I have much of an accent at all."_

_ "You really don't," he agreed. "You like mine?"_

_ "Oh yeah," Songbird said with a smile. "I looked up the area code. You're in South Carolina?"_

_ "Yeah," he confirmed. "Born and raised. How'd you end up bein' a telemarketer?"_

_ "Oh, well…I ended up in Maine, sort of stranded. The friend I was living with got married and moved…I'm trying to get enough money together to get out of here…maybe head down South. I hear it's a friendly place."_

_ "Depends on where you're at," Daryl said, taking another drag of his cigarette and then tossing it into the dirt front yard as he exhaled._

_ "Smoker?" she asked, listening to his long exhale._

_ "Yeah," he confirmed. "Bother you?"_

_ "I've been known to indulge in certain smokables," Songbird admitted with a grin._

_ "Sounds better than what I just got done with," he said with a smile. "How long you been up there all by yourself?"_

_ "Six months," she said. "I get kind of lonely at times…but I'm sure I'll work it out!"_

_ He heard the way she picked up her tone at the end of the sentence. He was sure he wouldn't have handled being left in a strange town and stuck with a shit job as cheerfully._

_ "I figured you for a college student," he told her._

_ "Nah," she closed her eyes and said, "Haven't decided what I really want to do and I'm not one to waste money or time."_

_ "College age though?" Daryl closed his eyes, hoping she was older than she sounded._

_ "Yeah," Songbird wondered why he wanted to know. "I'm eighteen."_

_ The silence over the line lasted so long she thought she'd been hung up on. She realized that she didn't know his name._

_ "Um…are you still there?" she asked._

_ "Yeah," Daryl felt totally crestfallen. This was worse than when he'd found out she lived in Maine. "I…" he tried to figure out a way to get off the phone without being a jerk._

_ "I just realized I don't know your name," Songbird interrupted._

_ "Oh. It's Daryl," he said. "Daryl Dixon. I…" he started to make his excuse and hang up._

_ "Mmmm," she murmured down the line. "I like that name. It fits how I picture you."_

_ Damn if that didn't sound like a purr. His cock got hard just listening to it. He shifted, surprised. He'd never had a physical reaction to a girl's voice before. He pressed his hand down on his rising erection and let his breath out slowly. Maybe they could talk a little more._

_ They did. She got into the habit of calling him every few nights, then he bought a phone card and started calling her on the nights she didn't call him. They talked about work; his roofing and her telemarketing. They talked about the weather; her snow drifts and his 60 degree winter. They talked about music; his country and her rock. He finally admitted his age; she laughed and said she'd known he was older than her._

_ Then one night, about a month after they'd begun talking, Daryl asked her something different._

_ "Tell me what you're wearin'," he said._

_ Songbird looked down. The fact was that she wasn't really wearing anything. She'd been getting ready to take a shower when he called and so she'd just laid back down on the bed to chat. Her cheeks went beet red, but she answered boldly and honestly._

_ "Nothing."_

_ Daryl choked on the inhale he'd just taken off his cigarette. He hadn't expected that._

_ "Are you okay?" she asked when she heard him cough._

_ "Yeah," he said, a second or two later. "You always naked when you talk to me?"_

_ She smiled at the way he pronounced the word naked. In his accent it came out "nekkid" and it was hilarious._

_ "Not always," she said, even though she'd actually never been totally nude when speaking with him. She'd changed clothes with him on the phone a few times, but that didn't really count._

_ "I bet you're sexy as hell," Daryl said, surprising them both._

_ "I don't know about that…" Songbird trailed off and then said, "What about you? What are you wearing?"_

_ "Jeans," he said. He'd actually had to look down at himself to remember; she'd effectively blown his mind._

_ "That's all?"_

_ "Yeah."_

_ "I bet you're sexy as hell too," she said, letting the longing she'd been feeling for him through into her voice._

_ If she'd had a way she'd have been on a bus to South Carolina that night. She'd never liked anyone as much as she liked him._

_ "I'm just…normal," Daryl responded, wincing at the new pressure in his cock. After nearly every conversation with her, he had to make do with his hand and now he was wondering if he'd even make it till they hung up._

_ He checked to make sure his bedroom door was locked and then slid his jeans down._

_ "I don't believe you," Songbird countered boldly._

_ Daryl bit his lip and closed his fist around his cock, squeezing and trying to regulate his breathing so she wouldn't guess what he was doing._

_ "Tell me what you're doin'," he said, wanting to hear her voice. He closed his eyes as she began._

_ "I'm lying on my bed," she told him. "I'd been about to get into the shower when you called. That's why I was undressed…and then I just didn't bother getting dressed again since I live alone."_

_ "Yeah," he said pumping his fist up and down slowly. "Tell me what your room looks like. What kinda bed you got?"_

_ Songbird listened to the quality of his voice; it had changed, becoming a bit deeper, slightly rougher, and his accent had gotten a bit stronger as well. She wondered…then she knew. Her mouth dropped open and her whole body flushed with pleasure. There was something about the knowledge that the thought of her naked made him want to do…that._

_ "Daryl?" she asked._

_ He barely bit back a groan when she said his name as he stroked downward._

_ "Yeah?"_

_ "Are you still wearing your jeans?" Songbird purred._

_ His hand went still for a second or two and then he answered honestly, "No."_

_ "Good," she whispered. "My bed is a queen and I'm laying all spread out across it…my sheets are red and I have about 5 pillows…and," she was glad he couldn't see her face as she said the next part. "I've got my free hand between my legs."_

_ "Shit," Daryl groaned, gripping harder to keep from cumming just from that. "Really?"_

_ "Really," she answered, not surprised to find how wet she was. "I do this just about every time we hang up the phone. It's something about…" she gasped as pleasure coursed through her as she rubbed faster. "Your voice."_

_ He heard the gasp and said, "I want to hear you cum. Can you do that for me?"_

_ "Oh yeah," she answered, arching her hips to meet her fingers._

_ "Tell me what you're doin'," he said._

_ "I'm rubbing and sometimes I'm putting two fingers inside," she answered plunging her fingers deep as she spoke. "I bet it would feel so much better if it was you…"_

_ "Darlin', I'd make you scream," Daryl said huskily, loving the sound of her voice as she got close. "Cum for me now, okay?"_

_ "Oh!" he heard her gasp, and then moan and then…what he'd been hoping for… "Mmmm, Daryl…"_

_ That was it; he came with a low groan of his own, feeling the heat of it spurt up way over his stomach, onto his chest. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cum that hard._

_ "Fuck…" he breathed the word out as his muscles relaxed the way they only did after a great orgasm._

_ "Yeah," she finished, catching her breath. "That was amazing!"_

"So," Daryl brushed Songbird's hair back and looked down at her. "How'd we wind up together?"

"Oh, you sent me a bus ticket and told me to get my ass to South Carolina where I belonged," Songbird finished with a grin. "And I did. Happily ever after."

"I don't know how much ever after I can promise you," Daryl said with a grin. "But if you get in bed I bet I can make you pretty damn happy right now."

She scrambled up so fast that he laughed, but he followed her just as quickly. When it was over and she was asleep he wrapped several strands of her silky hair around his fingers and thought about going out into the world again. They'd gotten pretty used to relative safety. He wondered if he could keep her safe enough out there. He was still worried about it when he went to sleep, holding her tight.

The trip wasn't going well. The car had broken down; they'd had to walk and they'd attracted attention. Songbird was surrounded. Daryl couldn't get near her, not near enough. A Walker grabbed her; she jerked away, but he saw scratches open up across her arm and watched blood dripping down off her fingers. She swallowed her cry of pain and continued to fight, even though she knew it was pointless now. The Walker that had marked her fell with one of Daryl's bolts through its brain. But another snatched her arm, drawn the smell of the fresh blood, taking a piece of her before he could reload.

"Shane!" he yelled.

A shotgun blast dropped two as Shane ran up, his face going pale when he saw Songbird. The fight ended soon after that, Songbird collapsing in the midst of the Walkers. Daryl jerked her up, dragged her back.

"No, darlin'," he tried to say, but the words got stuck. He brushed her hair back, her blood staining his fingers. "No."

She was holding back tears, trying to make her voice sound normal.

"Daryl, it's okay. It's okay, please don't be upset. I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Baby," he couldn't believe that she was trying to make things better for him. She'd lost more in the fight than he'd seen. Blood was blooming across her shirt like red flowers. "I don't know what to do."

His voice broke and a pained expression crossed her face.

"Yes, you do," she said. "I don't want to come back, Daryl. I don't want to take the chance of hurting you or anyone else. You know what you have to do."

"No!" he saw Shane's shadow fall over them and he repeated himself. "No. Don't you fuckin' touch her!"

"She's right, Daryl," Shane said.

"You killed my brother; now you wanna take her too?"

"Daryl," Songbird whispered. "It's starting to hurt."

"No, darlin'," he made his voice firm. "We don't know. For all we know you're immune…"

"No one is immune!" Shane argued.

"Goddamnit! Shut the fuck up!" Daryl yelled.

"Daryl…" Songbird groaned and closed her eyes. It felt like there were razor blades under her skin and acid in her stomach. She felt heat surge through her and she knew there wouldn't be much time. "Oh God…please! Please! I don't want to hurt this way."

He saw her breathing getting faster, felt her skin heating up under his hands as if she was cooking from the inside. He remembered the fever that came from the bites. Her face flushed before his eyes and she whimpered, moving restlessly as if trying to escape the pain.

"She's hurting," Shane's voice sounded strained as he watched her muscles tense with agony.

"You think I can't see that?" Daryl laid his hand on her forehead, trying to draw some of the heat from her skin; she was practically sizzling. "Darlin', please. Talk to me, okay?"

Her lips moved, but he couldn't hear her. Her hands clenched in the grass and she gasped in first one breath, then another ragged one.

"Don't let me die like this, Daryl," she whispered, fear and desperation finally overwhelming her. "Don't let me die like this. I don't…I don't want to die. I don't want to leave you. All I wanted was a life with you."

"I don't know what to do," he answered desperately. "God, baby I don't know how to fix it!"

Her ragged, pained breathing stopped suddenly. So suddenly that he gulped in a deep breath of his own, as if that would help.

"Songbird?"

She was gone.

"You know what you have to do," Shane's voice sounded far away.

Daryl picked up his crossbow, thinking that it had never felt heavier in his life. Before he could aim, her eyes flashed open and she gave him a smile as she bolted upright.

Her sexy voice somehow horribly distorted, as though she was forcing it over broken glass, she said, "You let me die. You let me die, Daryl. I trusted you."

When her teeth sank into him he yelled at the agony of having flesh ripped away and the crippling guilt of knowing she was right.

"Daryl? Daryl?" was that Shane? Why the fuck wasn't that bastard shooting?

"I'm so sorry," he said feeling the warmth of his own blood tracking down over his chest, even as he held her tight against him. "Ah God, baby I'm so sorry…"

"Wake up!"

He sat up, looking around the barely lit room in confusion. Songbird was sitting beside him, eyeing him with concern all over her face.

"Daryl, what in the world were you dreaming about?" she asked; he'd woken her up with his agitated movements and low murmurs. "What are you sorry for?"

He cupped her face in both hands, not surprised to realize that he was shaking. She was okay. He'd been dreaming. She was okay. He repeated the words to himself as if it were a prayer. She was okay and it had been a dream.

"Are you all right?" he asked anyway.

"Of course I am," she answered, and her perfectly normal voice soothed some of the anxiety. "Are you?"

"Yeah," he said, lying back down and pulling her against him. "Just a nightmare."

His heart was pounding like crazy under her ear. She kissed his chest soothingly.

"Want to talk about it?" she asked.

"God no," Daryl answered. "But…darlin' would you do me a favor?"

"Anything," Songbird replied.

"Talk to me," he said, closing his eyes.

"About what?" she was confused.

"It don't matter," he said. "You can recite some of that Shakespeare you're always wantin' to work into conversations if you wanna. I just need to hear your voice."

As was always the case, now that someone was asking her to talk, she couldn't think of anything to say.

"Um…" she tried to think of how her mother had made her feel better after nightmares and began a bit self-consciously, hoping she wouldn't piss Daryl off.

"I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth and in Jesus Christ His only son, our Lord who was conceived of the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried. He descended into Hell and on the third day He rose again from the dead. He ascended again into Heaven and sits at the right hand of God the Father Almighty, from thence He shall come to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church, the communion of the Saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen."

"That ain't Shakespeare," he said, looking at her. "And you never told me you were Catholic."

"I'm not really," she said. "But my mama was. That's the first rosary bead prayer, by the way. The Apostles Creed."

"What's the rest of it?" he asked, still needing to hear her voice.

"Hang on," she said scrambling down and digging through her laptop bag before climbing back up. "If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it right."

He noticed that she had a long necklace like object in her hand; she fed the beads through her fingers as she spoke, but it wasn't light enough for him to catch a good look.

Songbird couldn't see the rosary all that well in the low light either, but she could picture the green glass beads, the silver figure of St. Jude, the intricate knots on the Celtic cross. She could see it sliding through her mama's slender fingers as she prayed. She spoke the rosary, and watched Daryl begin to relax, lulled by her voice and the repetitions of "Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee…"

At the end, she crossed herself and said, "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen."

She'd thought he was asleep, and he mostly was, but as she snuggled against him he said, "It's like that movie…what's it called?"

"There're lots of Catholic movies, Daryl," she said. "Go to sleep."

"The one where they pray before they kill the guy…they're twins, but they don't look like each other…you know the one."

"The Boondock Saints?" Songbird guessed haphazardly.

"Yeah, that's it!"

"I like that movie," she said. "Murphy's hot."

"Hotter than me?" Daryl asked, kissing her neck.

"That's an unfair and sort of impossible question," Songbird said. "Go to sleep now okay?"

Pulling her closer, and feeling much better, Daryl finally did. Songbird wrapped the rosary around her hand and prayed it through once more, silently, hoping that somewhere her mama could hear her and be proud that she'd been listening all those years.

The next morning, Daryl and Songbird had their first real couple fight.

"I don't want you goin' today," he said, crossing his arms and looking determined.

"What? Why not?" she stared at him in surprise.

"I just don't. I'd feel better if you'd stay here. I'm sure there's plenty for you to do."

"Are you staying?" she asked.

"No, I'm still goin'," he began.

"Then I am too," Songbird seemed to consider that the end of the story.

"No, you're not," Daryl said firmly.

"Are you really telling me no?" she was shocked.

"Now, listen darlin'," he began again.

"Don't you darlin' me!" Songbird said. "Why do you think I can't go?"

"Because I'd feel better if you stayed here where it's safe," he answered.

"Well, I'd feel better if you did the same thing!"

He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. Less than a minute in, he already hated fighting with her. She was so damn cute that it handicapped his ability to be mean to her.

"And anyway, I already told them that I was going…" she went on.

"And I told them this morning while you were in the shower that I'd changed my mind," Daryl informed her. "And that I was gonna tell you to stay here. They said that's okay."

"That was under-handed!" Songbird exclaimed. "Why didn't you talk to me first?"

"Because I knew you'd do this!"

"Do what? Get upset when you treat me like a little kid?" she crossed her arms defensively. "I'm old enough for you to sleep with…"

"Hey!" Daryl stepped up and caught her chin in his hand, forcing her to look up at him. "This ain't about treatin' you like a kid. This is about treatin' you like you're mine. Now darlin', I'd feel the same way about this even if you were my age. You asked me to keep you safe, don't throw a fit when I try and do it."

"Yeah but, I…"

"No. This ain't a discussion," Daryl told her. "This is the way it is."

Tears welled in Songbird's eyes and he sighed again, pulling her against him. She remained completely stiff so he let her go and said, "All right, I should be back in a few days."

"Fine," she said, looking away.

He walked out of the room and up to the van, tossing his stuff inside and wishing that had gone better. Freddy, Lucky, and Rick were stocking their stuff up too when suddenly Songbird came barreling out of the cabin.

"What…" he started when she threw herself into his arms, holding him so tight that he coughed.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't want you to leave mad at me…I was just…"

"I'm not mad at you, Songbird," Daryl said, untangling himself from her. "Now come on," he continued when he saw tears on her cheeks. "I'll be back before you know it."

She nodded, but she didn't let go of his hand.

"I gotta go," he said.

"Don't I at least get a kiss good bye?" she asked.

He stepped up and cupped his hand around the back of her neck, drawing her close and kissing her. She gripped the front of his jacket with both hands and returned the kiss.

"How long?" she asked against his lips.

"Two days," he answered. "At the most. Take care of yourself, darlin'."

"I will. I love you," she said.

"Hey, are you going or not?" Lucky called.

"I'm gettin' there!" Daryl said. "All right, Songbird. Be watchin' for me in two days, okay?"

She nodded and he got into the van and drove away.

A/N: Lucky and Freddy are not mine; they belong to Gw3nhwyfar and are used with her permission. For more of their story check out One Last Dream.

Gurl3677: I promise that her history will be reveled and soon!

SaraLostInes: Thanks!

Savrose: Yeah, I wanted it to be nice, but nice the way Daryl is nice. I'm glad you thought it fit his character!

LucyFreebird: Thank you very much for the compliment! I'm glad that you like my writing…sometimes I wonder if I'm too wordy…so I'm glad you like the details!

Akuish: Nah, I like him so I'm always making up scenarios and throwing Daryl into them! Most of them would really have nothing to do with this story, but I had to use that one…and this one about the telemarketing as well. Glad to know chapter 25 made your hall of fame! It was a lot of fun to write and yeah…I can't write too many chapters without sex. He's just so yummy. Lol


	29. Chapter 27

Songbird didn't exactly know what to do with herself without Daryl. After some rambling around the compound, Shane, who had appointed himself leader in Rick's absence, pointed her up the stairs and told her to meet Glenn for watch duty. It was better than nothing.

Daryl wished anybody besides Freddy had sat down in the passenger seat. Freddy rambled the way Songbird did, but Daryl didn't want to fuck Freddy, so it was annoying.

"So…" Freddy began, sounding enthusiastic.

"So what?" Daryl hoped his sharp tone would give the prick a clue that he wasn't feeling chatty. It didn't.

"So, nice truck you have here."

"Yep," Daryl considered that too obvious a statement to reply to. Nice? It was a beautiful truck.

"Yeah, it's nice," Freddy went on. "Got a hatch on the back and everything. Something like this would sure come in handy out on the road, eh?"

How much more obvious was this guy gonna get? Next thing he'd be telling Daryl the truck was made of metal and had rubber tires. "Yeah, well, I'm still alive." Daryl pointed out.

"Yeah. Good thing too. Who else would be there to put Songbird in her place if you weren't around?" Freddy had muttered that last part.

It got under Daryl's skin. It wasn't bad enough that he was worried sick over being apart from his girl…now this little prick was weighing in on the way he handled his relationship? "What business is it of yours what I do with her?"

"I guess it ain't. I just think that you should treat her like an adult. S'all I'm saying."

Daryl clenched his jaw when Freddy put on a fake southern accent.

"Maybe you oughta keep your thoughts to yourself. If you know what's good for you," he snarled, taking the next turn a bit sharper than necessary as he pointed at Freddy.

"Maybe you both ought to shut up and watch the road." Rick pointed out irritably from the back of the truck.

Daryl drove on, thinking that at least the interaction has shut Freddy the fuck up. They arrived at their destination soon, but not nearly soon enough. Daryl hated the feeling in the pit of his stomach, a feeling of worry and anticipation that he knew wouldn't go away until he could see Songbird again.

He heard Freddy and Lucky going on about the scones and cider the bakery on the corner had offered in the past, but he didn't really pay attention. The area had been nice once; he could tell that it had been part of the historic district. Now it was reinforced and there were blood splatters staining some of the sidewalks and buildings from where things had been shot and bodies had been dragged away.

The door to the Army-Navy store opened and two guys came out, approaching the truck and talking to Lucky.

"Mack just got the transmission that you were coming up this morning!" one of them said as he opened the tailgate.

Then he started flirting with Lucky. Freddy jumped into the conversation mainly, Daryl thought, because he was somehow incapable of ever shutting the fuck up. The conversation continued with the mention of a guy named Abrahm, who apparently had a thing for Lucky. Rick seemed pissed off and possessive over that, but Lucky and Freddy didn't seem to take it seriously.

They finally began gathering the supplies and headed in by the door in the Army-Navy store. Daryl was impressed with the amount of work that had been done to fortify this place. If things went south at the compound this could be a good back up plan.

A man came out and embraced Lucky, sweeping her off her feet and speaking with her and Freddy briefly about supplies. Daryl glanced around and then shifted his weight in impatience. The stuff was delivered and he wanted to go home. And he'd seen some stores on the way in that he really wanted to check out too. It would be Christmas soon and he doubted that the kids would let them get by without celebrating it. And there was something he had in mind for Songbird. The group moved forward, taking Mack's offer to show them the rest of the compound.

Daryl followed them into the next shop, which had been set up to look like an old timey General Store. It was empty except for one woman. She was sitting at a table with a magazine open in front of her. She had dark brown hair pulled into a neat bun and Daryl thought that she wasn't exactly dressed like somebody suited to survive an apocalypse. She was wearing a brown skirt, the kind that he'd never understood. He couldn't figure out how women walked in the damn things, because it was the same width all the way down, ending at her knees. She was also wearing low heels in a shade that matched the skirt, and, Daryl was literally shocked that he even knew the word for it, a sweater set in red. She also had glasses, the cat's eye kind, that she pushed back up as she looked at the group.

He met her eyes when she glanced up at the group and jerked his chin up in a greeting; she lowered her gaze back to the magazine without nodding or speaking. He continued into the room.

She watched him go, exhaling slowly. Mack had mentioned visitors. Mack had said a girl he called Lucky and more than likely her brother Freddy, would be arriving soon. He hadn't mentioned anyone else. She stared blankly at her magazine, recalling the other man. He'd been about average height, but he had held her attention so completely that she wasn't even sure what anyone else looked like.

He'd been dressed in a long sleeved blue shirt with a sleeveless yellow checked shirt layered over it for warmth. His jeans had fit him well and she'd noticed the mud staining the hem and covering his boots. And he didn't have a gun. He'd flexed his shoulder just before walking out, shifting his crossbow to a more comfortable angle.

She bit her lip, thinking about how he'd met her eyes for that moment. His were blue. She wished he'd spoken when he'd nodded to her. She really, really, would have liked to hear his voice.

Several hours later, the others were surprised to hear Songbird and Glenn yelling at each other.

"No, you're crazy!" Songbird said vehemently, pointing at Glenn as they walked into the living area. "I can't even believe for one second that you would say something like that! You don't have any clue what it's like…"

"And you do?" Glenn cut in, pointing right back and then flinging his hands out. "You just have years and years of experience? I've been dealing with this since way before you were born and let me tell you…"

"You weren't even alive _way_ before I was born!" Songbird said cuttingly. "You aren't that much older than me! And age has nothing to do with what's common sense to smart people…"

"Smart people! Smart people agree with me! You have no idea what a following…"

Shane shushed them abruptly.

"Now calm down! What in the hell is going on?" He asked sharply.

Songbird spun and said, "I'll tell you what's going on! Your friend here thinks…"

"I _know_," Glenn interrupted. "I don't think…"

"Exactly!" Songbird said triumphantly.

"What is going on?" Andrea asked in confusion.

"Kirk or Picard?" Songbird and Glenn both demanded at the same time.

Shane laughed.

Dale said, "Kirk."

"What?" Shane asked, seemingly shocked.

"Kirk," Dale repeated sedately.

"NO!" Songbird and Shane both replied. "Picard!"

"You're insane!" Glenn protested. "Picard was a French guy with an English accent!"

"French people were obviously cooler in the future!" Songbird shot back.

"All Kirk was concerned with was getting some strange!" Shane threw in. "He joined Star Fleet for the sole purpose of banging alien women!"

"But he also never called for all hands to abandon ship," Dale replied.

"And he fixed shit himself!" Glenn added. "He actually went into the Jefferies tubes and…"

"And that's dumb!" Songbird said. "He's the Captain! That's engineering's job! He was probably just trying to impress some chick…"

"Everything Kirk did impressed chicks!" Glenn argued.

"Yeah! Which left him little to no time to…oh I don't know…_defeat the Borg_! Picard survived being a Borg! What do you think of that? Kirk probably just would have tried to have sex with the whole cube!" Songbird said.

"Kirk is an adventurer! He _boldly_ goes!" Dale protested.

"Picard honors the Prime Directive!" Shane crossed his arms.

The tension was broken when Andrea, who'd been looking down, burst into laughter. She laughed until she had to wipe tears away. Songbird felt a grin sneak onto her own face and when she glanced at Glenn he was fighting a smile of his own. Dale chuckled and even Shane gave a crooked smile that didn't much resemble the smirk Songbird had hated so much when she met him.

"I guess we could agree to disagree," Glenn offered.

"Shake?" Songbird held out her hand and Glenn shook it.

She flopped down beside Andrea and picked up the copy of Wuthering Heights she was reading. She wasn't eager to go to bed anytime soon, not without Daryl.

Songbird finished Wuthering Heights and sighed as she looked around the living room. Everyone but T and Dale, who had watch, had gone to bed. She was so tired that it felt like her eyes were full of sand, but she emphatically did not want to go into her room without him. She forced herself down the hall and flicked on the lamp at the front of the room she and Daryl shared. Then she climbed into bed and lay there, staring at the ceiling.

She made a shadow puppet dog on the wall and wiggled her fingers so it looked like it was barking. She smiled briefly, then sighed again. It reminded her too much of the kids she'd known, who'd always been begging her for another story about her menagerie of shadow puppets. She made the dog bark again before dropping her hands to the covers, dispelling Jackson the Wonder Dog.

She stared at the ceiling some more, thinking the room was too quiet without Daryl. She'd shared a room all her life; she was used to someone moving around or murmuring in their sleep. Like River…Songbird smiled, remembering her friend. She'd talked in her sleep her whole life, and she'd informed Songbird that if she ever said anything really embarrassing and Songbird didn't wake her up they weren't going to be best friends anymore.

A mental image of her friend suddenly flashed into Songbird's mind. River had been almost her polar opposite in terms of looks. She'd had long black hair and gypsy dark skin. Most people thought she was Native American, especially with a name like River, but she wasn't. Lots of people had thought that River was Songbird's younger sister as well, because Catherine and River were both black haired, with dark brown eyes. But that wasn't true in the strictest sense either. Catherine had raised River as her own though.

An image of the last time she'd seen River tried to push its way into Songbird's mind but she resolutely pushed it back. She'd been too numb the three weeks on the road alone to remember and she'd be damned if she was going to start now. She tossed and turned for a while longer and then, swearing under her breath, she grabbed Daryl's pillow, climbed down from the bunk and went into the women's room.

Andrea squinted when the light from the hall poured into the room, but when she saw Songbird standing there in her footie pajamas, her braid hanging down over one shoulder and her arms wrapped tightly around a pillow, she smiled and said, "Come on in."

"Thank you," Songbird whispered.

She climbed up to the bunk over Andrea's bed, arranged the pillows to her liking and finally fell asleep, praying that Daryl was okay.

Once they were in the bakery, Daryl and Rick were introduced to the rest of the group. It was fairly large; Freddy and Lucky knew most of the families and Daryl wasn't really any more interested in making friends than he'd ever been, so he only paid slight attention as they were introduced. The woman from the general store had made an appearance and he nodded to her again, since she stepped up beside him. Her name was Vicky. There was also a young mother in the corner crying. She had three kids and Daryl briefly felt bad for her. He wondered if her husband was dead or just missing. It brought his thoughts to Songbird; what if she was pregnant and he died out here? She'd probably be just as distraught.

Mack informed them that they could eat, and Daryl was watching where everyone else sat so that he could sit alone when Vicky, who hadn't sat down either, spoke.

"I didn't catch your name," she lied.

"Daryl," he answered. "Daryl Dixon."

"And I'm Vicky," she answered, holding her hand out.

Daryl shook it and nodded.

"I was the librarian," she went on. "In the next county."

"How'd you wind up here?" Daryl asked, not because he cared, but because she seemed to expect something from him. What the fuck did it matter what the hell she used to do? She wasn't likely to get her job back anytime soon if that was what she was hoping for.

"They came through looking for survivors," Vicky said. "I was one of them."

"So you were lucky," he said.

"I suppose so," Vicky shrugged and said, "I wish I had landed with a better group of people, however."

"What's wrong with 'em?" Daryl asked, looking around. Everyone was eating and chattering and they seemed to get along fine.

"They expect me to cook, clean, and handle the laundry," Vicky said haughtily. "I'm a modern woman and these men are living in the dark ages!"

"So you wanna go huntin' and gut shit?" Daryl drawled, hoping to put her off. It usually worked.

It didn't work; Vicky just shook her head and said, "The children still need educations and it wouldn't hurt the rest to pick up a book or two themselves. I suggested that I be allowed to conduct classes, but everyone seems to be more concerned with hunting and keeping this mess what they call clean."

Was she fuckin' serious? Daryl looked down at her for a moment, at a total loss for words. Songbird loved to read too, but she would never suggest that it was more important than shit like food to eat and a shelter to keep the Walkers at bay.

"Well…" Daryl dragged the word out long and slow. "I'm gonna go get somethin' to eat."

He walked away before she could respond and she watched him go sit beside Lucky and Rick.

He was irritated with that woman. What the fuck kind of world did she think they were livin in anyway?

"What are you two whisperin' about?" Daryl asked as he sat down beside Rick.

"Nothin'," Lucky answered in a fake Southern drawl; what was it with the MacKensie's imitating his accent? "Where have you been?"

"What is it about women that makes 'em not know when to shut up?" asked, figuring a woman would know.

"Geez, sorry," Lucky said under her breath, obviously offended. "Try to make a little conversation…"

"I wasn't talkin' about you," Damn women bein' sensitive.

"Oh." Lucky didn't look offended anymore, but she did look confused.

"He just got caught up talking to Vicky," the guy named Joey said, seemingly relieved that Vicky had someone new to harass. "She thinks she's too good to do 'women's work'; been trying to talk shop with the men."

Daryl watched the guy laugh and was glad _he_ thought it was funny. He made plans to tell Vicky that Joey had been looking for her the next time she tried to talk to him.

"A 'modern woman' is what she called herself," Ryan said. "Pfft. She was a librarian! God Lucky, you should have seen her when she first got here! Just the look on her face!"

"I can't even figure out how she made it," Joey agreed. "Or how she manages to still look like she has a stick shoved up her ass."

Daryl agreed as well.

"Huh. Maybe there is more to her than you give her credit for," Lucky said charitably.

"I doubt it." Daryl replied seriously. If she was still that stuck in the past, there was likely no way to make her change. He didn't give her good odds, especially with everyone else hating her the way they obviously did.

The conversation turned to teasing about Rick and Lucky's relationship so Daryl tuned out, concentrating on his food and absently watching the young woman and her family and thinking about Songbird.

He was shaken out of his thoughts when the famed and much spoken about Abrahm, the guy was supposedly crazy over Lucky, came back from a hunt. He mentioned deer and wild turkey's which made Daryl both sorry that they had missed Thanksgiving, and thirsty for whiskey at the same time. Odd combination.

The guy came over, smiling at Lucky. Daryl felt almost bad that the guy was shit out of luck, as it were. He could tell Abrahm was happy and relieved to find her alive and less than thrilled with Rick's presence.

Rick was less than thrilled as well, and he sized the younger man up critically. He figured he could take him. And he was better looking. He couldn't see what Lucky had ever seen in that guy.

Abrahm introduced himself to Daryl, holding his hand out. Daryl shook it, but he didn't reply to Abrahm's greeting other than to nod. Solidarity. He knew Rick hated the guy on principle, so he figured he would too. Marnie called Abrahm to come eat and he left.

A/N: Lucky and Freddy aren't mine, they belong to Gw3nhwyfar; for more of their story check out One Last Dream.

Gurl3677: Bwahahahah suspense! I promise all will be told and soon, so I can put this on hiatus for Season 2.

Azalia Fox Knightling: Thanks! Glad you like her stories! I enjoy writing them; it's neat to get into all the ways things might have been for them.

Lucy Freebird: Thank you so much! I'm glad you like my writing and not just the story (if that makes sense and I'm not sure it does lol) Either way, thank you for the sweet compliments!

Akuish: Yep. I had planned for her mom to be Catholic, but I couldn't resist the prayer just for the Boondock Saints reference. It was supposed to be another story…but it was too good a reference to pass up! And thanks for saying the story was hot…I do try to make it that way. Lol And yeah, she really is Catholic. Or rather, her mother really was. And yay for printing my chapter…my work will be in print! Lol


	30. Chapter 28

After they ate there was a debate on whether they should stay the night. Daryl was the only dissenter. Lucky didn't take part in the discussion, Rick didn't really care because he was with his girl either way, and Freddy wanted to stay. In the end, and despite his best efforts, Daryl lost the argument.

Daryl had a small revenge when he saw that Marnie had put pallets for them out and put Lucky as far from Rick as possible. He grinned at Rick and got flipped off for his trouble. Soon after that, Mack pulled Rick to the side for what looked a like a serious talk. Vicky stared Daryl's way so he walked over and joined their conversation because he figured she wouldn't.

Mack was talking about the huge attack on Area Two and how devastated it was and he mentioned the trouble they'd had securing their present facility. He wondered if things were that bad everywhere. Rick confirmed that, in the South at least, things had been just as bad.

Mack mentioned that some of the people in their group had mentioned going south to see what was happening with the CDC. Rick and Daryl shook their heads and Mack raised an eyebrow.

"Is it overrun?"

"Got blown fuckin' sky-high," Daryl corrected. "We was inside it right before it happened."

"What?" Mack looked disbelieving.

Rick let Daryl handle the story telling, mostly because he'd never seen Daryl tell a story before. It was entertaining to watch. The man painted quite a picture, complete with big sweeping hand gestures and pantomimes of throwing things and trying to break down the door.

"So, Rick's grenade shattered the window," big gesture, "and we run through it. And there's fuckin' Walkers everywhere. And I've got these two axes right? Like, fire axes? And I had 'em both in my hands," Daryl held his hands up, one fist on top of the other, "and this Walker come up on my right," Daryl pointed to his right. "And I swung," Daryl faked a swing at Rick's neck, "and that bastard's head went _flying_ off. Like five feet…"

Mack looked at Rick for confirmation and Rick nodded, then said, "Maybe four feet. Either way, it was impressive."

"Damn straight," Daryl replied.

The conversation continued until Rick noticed that Lucky was nowhere in sight; Abrahm wasn't in sight either. It bothered him to think of that guy trying to hit on Lucky. Rick didn't actually think he'd succeed, but Lucky might be uncomfortable, especially since they'd been friends.

"Excuse me," Rick said, "I'll be right back."

Freddy, who had left the room in the middle of Daryl's CDC story, which sounded pretty impressive the way the guy told it, kinda like a war movie, was wandering the halls looking for his sister for her opinion on the best deer kill. His heart skipped a beat when he heard her scream.

"Get off me! Stop!"

Freddy ran down the hall, unsure which door she was behind.

Her next scream of "Help!" narrowed it down and he shoved the door open. Abrahm was on top of Lucky, but only briefly. Freddy yanked him up and slammed him into the wall.

"What the fuck?" he yelled as he punched Abrahm in face.

"What's going on in…" Rick began, seeing Freddy more furious than he'd ever seen him. He actually had Abrahm against the wall and Abrahm's nose was bleeding. He never finished the sentence, because a small movement on the floor caught his attention. Lucky was scooting back, her ripped up shirt crumpled on the floor with her bra thrown beside it. Her arms had dark bruises already forming on them in a pattern Rick recognized from his work on domestic violence cases and one her arms hung limp. He didn't get many more details before a red haze of fury clouded his vision. Abrahm had put his hands on Lucky. Abrahm was going to die.

Rick shoved Freddy out of the way and plowed his fist into Abrahm's gut.

"What the fuck were you thinking putting your hands on her?" Rick bellowed as he continued punching. "Did you think for one second that I would let you hurt her?"

Freddy, content that Abrahm was getting hurt, even if he wasn't the one to do it, walked over to his sister and, seeing that her shirt was beyond repair, he pulled his own button up off and started to help her get into it, she made a sharp sound of pain when he tried to put her right arm in the sleeve.

"Your shoulder's dislocated," he said gruffly; he'd have to fix it.

Daryl heard the general commotion from where he was standing in the hall and frowned. Was that Rick yelling? Rick never yelled. He jogged down the hall to find out what the hell was happening. He certainly didn't expect the scene that he found. Abrahm was on the floor, Rick was kneeling over him punching him in a steady rage. Lucky and Freddy were sitting near a generator and Lucky was crying about her arm hurting. Daryl quickly moved his gaze away when he saw that she was pretty much naked.

The pieces slid into place and Daryl realized that Abrahm probably wasn't feeling nearly enough pain in the lower half of his body; Rick was concentrating all his anger on the guy's gut with occasional punches to the face. Daryl decided to help his friend out. He drew back one steel-toed boot and swung it right between Abrahm's legs, smiling when the guy doubled up and bellowed in agony. It worked so well that he did it again.

Rick barely spared him a glance and Daryl figured that he'd just let Rick get out his aggression. He also planned to bring this up the next time Rick tried to stop him from throwin' someone a beatin'. He leaned against the wall and watched.

"You plannin' on killin' him?" Daryl asked casually, a few moments later.

Rick didn't have time to answer before Ryan, Abrahm's little brother, came in the room, yelling, "What the hell is this?"

He tried to pull Rick off of his brother; Daryl thought about stepping in, but the room was soon filled with people, so he stayed where he was, watching to see how this was going to turn out. It took almost the whole group to drag Rick away from Abrahm, who lay limp on the floor. Daryl wondered if Rick actually had killed the guy, but then he saw him take a breath, so he knew Abrahm was alive, for now anyway.

Daryl heard a loud pop, followed by a scream from Lucky and several swears. He figured Freddy had fixed her shoulder. He walked over to Rick, who'd been pushed to the far side of the room and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Damn," Daryl said. "Nice work."

Rick tried to catch his breath as he looked down at his hands. His knuckles were covered in Abrahm's blood, and probably some of his own as well, because now that the adrenaline of rage was dissipating, his hands hurt like hell.

"I've literally never been so angry in my life," Rick spoke in a low voice.

Before Daryl could respond to that, Mack yelled, "Someone needs to tell me what happened here and they need to tell me now!"

Lucky started to answer, but all she could do was sob. Freddy wrapped his arms around his sister and tried to explain.

"Maybe you should ask your son that when he comes to. I found him…" he couldn't manage to say the words. He felt sick with fury and betrayal and hurt for his sister.

Rick was unable to stand seeing Lucky cry and being that far away, so he pushed his way through the crowd and picked her up, cradling her close.

"I think it's pretty obvious what happened here," Rick addressed the crowd without emotion. He didn't wait for anyone to respond before he carried Lucky out of the room.

"I think ya'll should leave," Mack's voice was shaking with anger as he spoke.

"We're not the ones who did something wrong here," Freddy stated.

"Hell no we ain't," Daryl agreed. "But I never wanted to stay here anyway. I say we get our shit and hit the road."

He put his hand on Freddy's shoulder and pushed when Freddy looked reluctant to leave.

"Ain't no more to say," he muttered. "They ain't gonna do nothin' about his sorry ass anyway."

They were halfway down the hall when they heard a woman call out, "Don't leave me here!"

Daryl tried not to groan out loud as Vicky caught up with them.

"We don't really have room in my truck," Daryl began, relieved to have a reason to turn her down.

Vicky looked distraught and after a moment Freddy broke.

"We can always make room. I'll sit in the back with Lucky and Rick."

Daryl made plans to kick Freddy's ass later. Then he realized that Vicky, while she was closer to his age than Freddy's, might be a good candidate for Freddy. They had stuff in common after all; they both irritated the shit out of him.

"Let me get my things together then," Vicky answered as she walked away.

Daryl gave Freddy a dirty look, mostly just for form and said, "You coulda let her sit in the back."

"No way," Freddy replied. "My good deed for the day was getting her out of the place. I don't have to be nice to you too."

Less than half an hour later they were on the road.

"Thought we'd see if we could get some supplies," Daryl said once everyone was in the truck, angling his rearview so he could look at the group in the bed of the truck. "Unless you just wanna go home, Lucky."

"No," Lucky said. "We're here, might as well make use of the gas we're using."

"That's what I thought," Daryl agreed.

He drove them back to the shopping center they'd passed on the way in. He was sort of worried about doing this in the dark, but he wanted to get some stuff for Songbird to make up for the fact that he'd tossed her under the bus over a bad dream.

There were several shops, a few of which had peaked his interest. There was a toy store, a bookstore, a clothing store, a jewelry store, and a Wal-Greens.

"So what are you looking for?" Rick asked.

Daryl shrugged and said, "I thought we'd hit all of 'em. See what's left. It'll be Christmas soon, the kids ain't gonna forget."

Rick nodded, and they all grabbed empty bags and headed into the first store. There weren't any Walkers and they made their way through the aisles without trouble. Rick thought back to the days when he would have picked up Matchbox cars or comic books for his son and wished that it was that simple now. Toys were just added weight now, and no one got anything much in that store.

The bookstore was next, and that was where they ended up getting gifts for the kids. Rick picked up some comics for Carl anyway and Lucky remembered a book that she'd seen Sophia pull from her backpack and they grabbed the rest of the series for Carol to give to her daughter, since she probably wouldn't get to leave the compound. Daryl wished he knew what Songbird liked to read…he was glancing at the aisles, feeling a little overwhelmed, when it hit him. He shone his flashlight up at the categories.

"Classics?" he guessed under his breath.

He turned out to be right and he picked up a huge leather bound volume that would have cost him nearly 50 bucks if he'd been paying for it. He wrapped it in a plastic bag so it wouldn't get water or walker blood on it, and put it in the backpack.

Vicky approached and gave him a smile.

"Classics?" she was surprised, but pleased.

"Uh, yeah," Daryl answered, eyeing the stack of books in her hands. "You takin' all that?"

"Yes," Vicky said firmly. "I won't leave them here to be ruined by looters or those…those things."

Daryl fought back a laugh. Looters? What the hell did she think they were? He traced his fingers over the spines of the books lined in a neat row and thought how much Songbird would enjoy this place. Maybe he could run her out here…he forced the thought away. They just didn't have the fuel for useless trips, and it sure didn't look like they'd be goin' back to Area 3 anytime soon.

Vicky watched him run his fingers over the books, looking deep in thought. She very nearly sighed. He turned and walked away, holding the flashlight so that she could see where she was going as well.

They didn't bother with the clothing store, because they were all fairly stocked up with clothes for all weather after the mall trip and Vicky had two suitcases full of clothing in the bed of Daryl's truck. Daryl wavered in front of the jewelry store; it had been looted, not that it had done the fuckers any good in Daryl's opinion.

He was wary of jewelry anyway. You never fuckin' knew what the hell a woman would want. Vicky looked like she wanted to go inside and Freddy accompanied her, so Daryl stepped in as well, his boots crunching on the broken glass from the windows. Most of the big diamonds were gone. He shined his flashlight into the case, admiring the sparkle of stuff he'd never been able to afford.

Freddy elbowed him in the ribs.

"Aww…you gonna ask Songbird to marry you?" he teased.

"Yeah," Daryl drawled. "All I got left to do is order the cake and find a stripper for my bachelor party."

Freddy laughed and went back to watching the windows. One thing Daryl admired about Freddy, hell maybe the only thing, was the fact that the guy didn't let his guard down for a second. Ever.

Daryl walked further into the store, looking at the other cases. Eventually Lucky and Rick started to get impatient and he heard Lucky speak to Vicky about moving on. He was turning away when something caught his eye. It reminded him of Songbird so he picked it up and stuffed it into his pocket before he headed out.

Next in the row was Wal-Greens and he figured that would be the store that had the most useful stuff in the long run. It had been boarded up, whether by store owners hoping for the best, or someone hoping to capitalize in the post apocalyptic market, they weren't sure. They got in after a good bit of effort, and they were well rewarded for it. Most of the stuff was still there. And no walkers. They all split off their separate ways, each getting what they considered essential. Daryl decided to save the two things he'd picked up for Christmas, so he filled his pockets and a good bit of the backpack with little things for Songbird. He got more toothpaste and several packs of bar soap because it lasted longer and he didn't want to run out. When the backpack was nearly full of odds and ends he met up with the rest at the medicine.

They laid in a good supply of first-aid equipment, deciding that each car needed a first-aid kit, and getting other general stuff, Tylenol, Aspirin, ice packs and ACE bandages. They didn't take it all, because the compound had a decent supply, but no one saw the harm in adding to it. Daryl put about 12 bottles of Zyrtec in his backpack because he remembered Songbird saying that spring made her sneeze.

Daryl was eating a Zero bar and feeling good about the whole looting trip. That is until he saw Lucky unshoulder her bow. Daryl started to head to the back, but the group came toward the front so he stayed where he was. They were all ready to leave, but suddenly Vicky spoke up.

"Wait, I just need to use the ladies' room before we go."

Daryl watched in shock as she turned and went back the way they'd come.

"Vicky no!" Lucky called after her.

"Fuckin' hell woman!" Daryl snarled shooting the Walker that grabbed Vicky's arm right between the eyes and hoping like hell that there weren't more of them.

That hope died as he reloaded and Lucky dropped two more.

"Get out of there," Rick yelled as he grabbed Lucky around the waist and bolted. Freddy ran out after his sister.

Daryl was on their heels when he realized Vicky wasn't moving. The Walkers were surrounding her, moving faster than normal. He figured they were pretty eager for fresh meat, seeing as how they'd been locked up this whole time.

"Move!" he yelled, to draw their attention his way, hoping that it would give her time to get through the gaps the geeks were already closing around her.

She didn't so much as take a step; she was standing there frozen in classic deer-in-the-headlights style.

"Goddamnit!" he swore when she actually took several steps backward.

He shot the Walker reaching for the back of her neck and that seemed to at least wake her up.

"Help!" she screamed.

"Don't yell!" Daryl hissed, reloading and firing again. What the hell did she think he was tryin' to do anyway?

It was pointless; she was totally surrounded. He took a step back when a more ambitious Walker headed his way.

"Don't leave me!" Vicky shrieked, still backing up.

Daryl swung the crossbow, burying the lath in the Walkers head and kicking it backwards.

"Please Daryl!"

He sighed and surveyed the situation. There was a wall at Vicky's back and about seven geeks surrounding her. Daryl tightened his grip on the crossbow and swung it again, thinking he should just carry an axe at all times. He dropped two Walkers and pushed through the gap, unceremoniously shoving Vicky into the wall. He jerked her chin up so her eyes met his. He figured he had several seconds to make sure she knew what she had to do to keep them both alive.

Vicky gasped when she felt Daryl's body press against hers, caging her in, pushing her back. He'd jerked her chin up with one hand and braced the other on the wall over her head.

"Now you listen and you listen good," he ordered. "I'm gonna do everything I fuckin' can to get outta here in one goddamn piece and I got no problem takin' you with me. Just don't stop runnin'. Do not stop runnin'."

Vicky nodded breathlessly, but before she could answer, Daryl snarled, "Fuck!"

It wasn't directed at her, even though Vicky was definitely not one of his favorite people at the moment. The curse was directed at the Walker gripping his shirt. Daryl turned, yanked the knife from his belt and shoved it into the geek's temple. Vicky shrieked as blood poured out of the wound.

Daryl spun back to face her and hissed, "Stop makin' so much racket! Noise draws 'em and we don't know how many more there are out there! Now move!"

Another swing of the crossbow coated Daryl in thick Walker blood. He gritted his teeth and moved forward quickly. Vicky followed, but she couldn't keep up with him because of her damn skirt and heels.

He swore viciously and turned back, pushing her in front of him. His heart stopped when he felt cold fingers close around his arm, but he managed to check the impulse to jerk away. He knew that would only make the Walker hold tighter and he wasn't wearing his jacket. One scratch…He brought the knife up again and jabbed it into the Walker's empty eye socket. It fell without marking him and felt momentarily sick with relief. The relief didn't last long as another Walker grabbed his over shirt, ripping it all the way down the side seam as Daryl jerked away. He decided enough was enough. As covered in Walker blood as he was, a scratch of a fuckin' paper cut would be enough to mean his death.

And if he started to turn he vowed to sink his teeth into Vicky before he blew his brains out.

He grabbed her wrist and yanked her after him as he ran, lowering his shoulder and slamming it into the Walker near the door, knocking it out of his way. He only stopped to close the door before he continued, still dragging Vicky to the truck and practically throwing her into the bed of it. That was the most often he'd nearly died since this whole thing started and it was entirely Vicky's fault. He was furious as he got into the truck, relieved to see Lucky sitting up front and stomped the gas, eager to get the hell home.

"Don't you dare breathe a word of this to Songbird," Daryl ordered trying to catch his breath.

"Are you hurt?" Lucky questioned.

"No," Daryl answered shortly, and then he realized that her day had probably been worse than his either way. He made his tone a bit less harsh and went on, so she didn't think she'd need to put him down. "I didn't get bit, if that is what you're asking."

"I… thank you Daryl." Vicky's voice was shaky as she spoke through the open split glass.

He slammed it shut, because he didn't want to yell at her.

"I take it you and the delicate Miss Vicky are not the best of friends then?" Lucky asked in a teasing voice.

"I'm gonna kill your brother for suggestin' we bring her along," Daryl informed her.

"Don't hate Freddy," Lucky's earnest voice surprised him. "He might get under your skin, but please don't hate Freddy."

Good God, was she going to cry? He didn't think he could handle it if she cried.

"Ah, I don't hate him," Daryl replied, patting her shoulder. "I don't like him much, though."

"I can live with that. I like you, you know."

Daryl was further surprised when Lucky lay her head on his shoulder as she spoke. And he couldn't believe that she really liked him. It didn't happen much.

She yawned as she continued, "You're good for Songbird, even if you are a dirty redneck."

He couldn't keep from laughing at that. He should have known that Lucky wouldn't get all sloppy sentimental on him.

"Uh, thanks. I think," he answered.

The next time he glanced down at her, she was asleep. He hoped Rick wouldn't get pissed…but it was nice to have someone warm against him until he got home. Daryl didn't ever have much of a sense of safety or belonging, but with her head on his shoulder and the sun rising as he drove, he thought this might have been what it was like to have a sister.

Songbird woke up in a really bad mood and she could tell that people were surprised. What the hell? She wasn't required to be cheerful all the time.

"I'm going to get a shower," she informed Andrea, getting her things together. "In Lucky's room. Because hers is better. And she didn't stand up for me. Screw her anyway."

Andrea looked at Carol with raised eyebrows as Songbird left the room. She slammed the bathroom door behind her, fighting tears. She wasn't even sure why. She wanted Daryl and she wanted him _right then_! Stubborn redneck. Leaving her like that. She undressed and sighed in frustration when she realized she had a whole new problem.

Songbird yanked the door of the cabinet open praying Lucky had what she needed and that she wouldn't get mad about sharing. Lucky had a good supply of pads and tampons, so at least that was going her way…suddenly Songbird's mouth dropped open. She'd started her period! Well, that was information that Daryl would have wanted. And it explained her bad mood.

The mood improved as the hot water loosened the cramps she always got across her lower back when she had her period. She still missed Daryl and she had no idea what to do with the long day before her…she figured she'd have to start by apologizing to Andrea. She hadn't exactly yelled _at _her…but she'd certainly yelled _near_ her.

Songbird had apologized and Andrea had patted her shoulder and told her it was fine, so she'd gone out to wait by the gate. Shane had forced her away from it by mid-morning, telling her to find something…_anything_ else to do. He said her pacing made him tense. She decided to try walking Michelangelo. It was going well until she heard the squeak of the gate and the rumble of an engine she knew well.

"Daryl's back!" she really shouldn't have said it out loud.

"Daryl" was one of the many words in Michelangelo's vocabulary. He took off, dragging her behind him.

The group had gathered around the returning survivors. A woman Songbird didn't recognize was exiting the truck, but before she had time to wonder about that, Michelangelo, seeing his favorite person, barreled through the crowd full speed.

"Sorry!" Songbird called over her shoulder as she bounced off of T-dog and practically knocked Glenn flat.

The woman, who looked very prim with her hair in a chignon and her glasses pushed firmly up, shrieked and jumped behind Daryl, wrapping her arms around him tightly. She didn't seem to realize that Daryl was the target.

Michelangelo did much the same thing Vicky had done, standing on his hind legs and practically embracing him, as he jumped up to lick Daryl's face exuberantly. Vicky shrieked again and Daryl winced since it was right in his ear. Songbird was yanking futilely on the rope and yelling for Michelangelo to "get down and stop looking scary!" Vicky was still shrieking and Daryl's temper snapped.

"Sit down!" he bellowed.

Michelangelo sat. Much to the amusement of the group, Songbird sat too. Both of them sort of hung their heads. Daryl dropped his face into his hand.

"I didn't mean you," he said shortly, reaching down and pulling Songbird to her feet. "I've told you over and over that you gotta get some control of this fuckin' monster!"

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "He was just…"

"He was just fuckin' walkin' all over you. Like always." Daryl cut in, taking the rope from her. He grabbed the backpack and then turned and addressed the group. "I'm gonna go chain him up. You," he pointed at Songbird, "Come with me."

She followed dejectedly. Vicky straightened her blouse and looked around.

"What is that child doing with an animal that size?" Vicky asked.

"She's not a child," Lucky responded. "She's legal. I tend to wonder more often what she's doing with the redneck actually."

"What?" Vicky looked uncomprehending.

"Yeah. She's Daryl's…well…she's Daryl's," Lucky finished.

Vicky blinked in shock as Lucky turned away, getting her things out of the truck and chatting with Rick. The group gathered around and introduced themselves to her, and she tried to concentrate on their names and faces, but her mind was mostly occupied with trying to understand the nature of Daryl's relationship with that child. Whatever it was, it couldn't be serious. Daryl had to be in his thirties, like her. That child, while she might be "legal" could only be _barely_ legal. There was simply no way…she just couldn't wrap her mind around a man like that in a serious relationship with that child!

Once Michelangelo was chained, Daryl and Songbird headed into the compound, and went straight for their room. Daryl really wanted to change clothes. His shirt was covered in dried blood and it was bugging him.

"I don't like her," Songbird said, finally breaking her silence.

"Say what?" Daryl was so surprised at the out of character statement that he stopped and stared at her with his shirt only half off.

She shrugged and repeated herself, "I don't like Vicky." Before he could respond to that, she went on. "Michelangelo doesn't either."

"He seemed pretty eager to meet her to me," Daryl replied, tossing his shirt into a corner.

"He wanted to see you, not her," Songbird said indignantly, as if he'd slighted both of them. "And then you yelled at us! We were just excited to see you…"

He figured they were getting to the bottom of it now. He had yelled; it had just been the final straw for that crazy dog to bowl him over in one direction only to have Vicky wrap herself around him from the other.

"I know darlin'," he answered, stepping over and pulling her against him. "It was pure shit on the road without my girl." He felt her thaw slightly and then he closed the deal. "Brought you some stuff."

"You did?" Songbird's face lit up and she hugged him tighter.

"Yep," he confirmed. "Wanna see it?"

"Duh," she answered, making him smile.

"All right then, close your eyes."

She scrunched her eyes tightly shut and bounced on the balls of her feet in eagerness. He grinned and said, "Want it all at the same time or one at a time?"

"All at the same time!"

"Then it's gonna take longer. Keep your eyes closed," he ordered.

She put her hand over her eyes for good measure, even though she wouldn't have ruined the surprise for all the world. She heard him digging through the backpack and arranging things on one of the lower bunks.

He walked over to her when everything was set up like he wanted it and tugged her hand away from her eyes, spinning her to face the bunk. He grinned again when Songbird squealed and clapped both hands over her mouth. He'd tried to spread out the gifts so it looked like a lot more than it was. With the way her eyes were sparkling, he must have succeeded.

Songbird stared at the luxury spread out on the bunk. There were several tubes of mint Blistex, a few bags of Doritos and several different sodas, including orange which was her favorite! There were two boxes of Russell Stover chocolates and when Daryl saw her eyes land on those he said, "They mighta melted over the summer, but they were layin' down so I thought they might still be okay."

"It's better than okay!" Songbird swallowed hard to keep her voice from wavering with happy tears. "Even if it melted, it'll taste good."

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Daryl replied, relieved.

She went back to examining the treasure trove on the bunk. There was the nail polish remover she'd wanted and face wash, body wash, shampoo, deodorant, face and hair masks and a bright blue bottle of nail polish.

"Daryl, this is all so wonderful!" she turned and threw herself into his arms again.

He held her for a few moments, just breathing in her scent, grateful that he was home and she was still here. He'd have to tell her about the Walker attack eventually, but he figured he'd let that wait.

"There's one more thing," he told her.

"What is it?" she asked, pulling back to look at him.

He pointed up at their bed and she scrambled up. He stayed where she was, but he heard her laugh.

Songbird shook her head. There was a sizeable stack of boxes on the pillow. She felt herself blush as she looked at the variety.

"What's with these?" she asked, holding up one, a brand of Trojan.

"I don't know," Daryl admitted. "Looked fun though."

"Okay," she said. "Then let's go."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah! You've been gone for two days…that's a long time when you're used to…how do you put it? "Gettin' it regular?"

She'd matched his accent pretty well. Daryl locked the door and climbed up onto the bunk. He was kissing her and starting to tug her pants down when she suddenly pulled back.

"Oh wait! Oh shoot!"

"What's wrong?" he asked, surprised when she blushed and hide her face in her hands.

"I meant to tell you when you got home, but I forgot what with everything with the dog and…anyway…um…I started my period."

"Really?" Daryl sat back in shock.

"Really," she confirmed, taking her hands down and glancing at him shyly.

He didn't know what to say. A big part of him was relieved, no question. But there was also a small part of him that was disappointed.

"You don't look as happy as I thought you would," she said in confusion.

"Yeah. It's weird," Daryl admitted. "It's better this way…but I guess I kinda wondered what it'd be like."

"I wondered too," Songbird admitted. "I wondered about names."

"Yeah?" he grinned at her. "What were you thinking?"

"Well…for a boy I thought either Daryl Robert or Robert Wayne and we'd call him Robert, after Grandpa Bo."

Daryl cleared his throat and brushed her hair back as he said, "I woulda liked that, darlin'. What about a girl?"

"Catherine," she answered. "I hadn't figured out the rest yet."

"Why Catherine?"

"My mama's name was Catherine," she answered. "Catherine Ann MacQuirter."

"That's some last name," Daryl said, trying not to look too eager for information.

"It's a good solid Irish Catholic last name."

Daryl couldn't quite read her expression as she said that.

"So it was your mama's family that was Catholic?" he questioned carefully.

Songbird nodded and said, "That I know of, Jack Phelps didn't have a religion."

"Your old man?"

She nodded and then said, "Anyway, sorry we can't have sex…"

"Who says we can't?" Daryl asked.

"Ew!"

"Not ew," he argued, pushing her back and kissing her until she moaned. "Come on, darlin', I been wantin' you so damn bad…"

"It'll get on the sheets!" Songbird protested.

"Not if you let me fuck you in the shower."

"Now that's a good point," she conceded.

Daryl was relieved when the bathroom was empty. He turned the shower on and Songbird wrapped her arms around him, kissing him as they waited for the water to heat up.

"I missed you so much," she whispered while he unbuttoned her shirt and kicked his boots off.

"I missed you too," he admitted roughly, yanking her jeans down and picking up briefly, lifting her out of them.

Once they were in the shower, he pressed her back to the tile, lifting her up again. She gasped at the chill against her back and arched against him; Daryl obliged her by thrusting deep and her gasp turned to a moan. She gripped his shoulders, sliding her hands through the water pouring onto his skin as he moved inside her. He put one hand behind her head so she wouldn't bang her head on the shower wall and moved faster.

He knew it was only because she was so damn skinny, but there was something really nice about the fact that he could hold her with one arm and fuck her at the same time. Kind of made him feel like Superman. And there was the fact that she was already on the verge of an orgasm to make him feel good too.

"Daryl…" she gasped and he covered her mouth with his just in time to muffle her scream.

He let her slide down his body and turned her around, letting her brace her hands on the shower wall and pushing back inside her from behind. Songbird grabbed his hand and put it over her mouth. She knew herself pretty well at this point and since she was still so sensitive from the first orgasm, she knew the second wouldn't take long.

He fucked her for a while, mostly just to see how many times he could get her off. And to enjoy being alive. He'd wondered briefly during that Walker attack if he'd ever get back to her. Daryl lowered his head, kissing the back of her neck as he thrust. He could feel her body shuddering around his as she moaned against his hand.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yeah," she gasped.

As usual, they shared the last orgasm; Daryl dropped his head to her shoulder and caught his breath. Songbird was still trembling so he kept his grip firm.

"Good?" he asked.

"Mmmm," she replied.

He laughed and they got down to the business of actually showering. It was always nice to have someone to scrub his back. He returned the favor and then got out to get dressed. He'd forgotten to bring another shirt.

"I'm gonna go back to the room," he called over the sound of splashing. "Forgot a shirt. You got everything you need?"

"Yeah," she answered. "I'll be back in a few minutes anyway."

"Okay."

He opened the bathroom door and headed down the hall. Vicky was coming out of the girl's room with a towel.

"Did you just get out of the shower?" she asked Daryl, trying not to stare too obviously.

He was built on the lean side; what there was of him was all muscle and she liked the fact that there wasn't much hair on his chest. His shoulders were also nice and broad. She bit back a sigh.

"Uh, yeah," Daryl answered, trying to figure out how to tell her that the bathroom was occupied without embarrassing Songbird.

"It will be so nice to have hot water again," Vicky said self consciously. "I don't usually look so…unkempt."

"You look fine," Daryl answered, deciding to just drag the conversation out until Songbird got out of the bathroom.

She smiled and checked the urge to twist her hair around her finger.

"Well, thank you," she responded. "But I think you're just being a gentleman."

Daryl choked back a laugh and ended up kind of coughing as he said, "You'd be the first."

She started to say something else, but suddenly the bathroom door opened again and Songbird walked out. Vicky was briefly confused, but then she put the pieces together. They really were…together.

"Oh. Hi, Vicky," Songbird said, stepping up beside Daryl. "Getting in the shower?"

"Yes," Vicky answered frostily.

"Well…have fun," Songbird caught Daryl's hand and said, "I'm in the mood for chocolate. Can I have some of the ones you brought me?"

"Yeah," Daryl answered. "But there's not anymore once those are gone, darlin'. So go easy on 'em, okay?"

"You're gonna share with me though right?" she grinned up at him.

"Maybe one or two," he acknowledged, tugging her braid. "We'll see you later Vicky."

As they walked down the hall, after she stopped admiring the tattoo down Daryl's shoulder blade, Vicky thought that she'd figured it out. The child must appeal to Daryl's protective instincts. And she must do it on purpose. Nobody could be as innocent as "Songbird." Not in this day and age.


	31. Chapter 29

"So I been thinkin'," Daryl said a while later.

"Bout what?" Songbird asked chewing her piece of chocolate slowly for maximum savoring, before she took a sip of her orange soda.

"Christmas," he answered, snagging a piece of chocolate for himself. "We were kinda talkin' about it on the road and I figured you might wanna talk to Lucky about decoratin' and shit."

"Oh that would be so much fun! I'll go see if I can find her right now!" Songbird jumped up and started to run out but then she turned back, straddled Daryl's lap and kissed him. "I wanted to have Christmas but I was scared to ask!"

"What the fuck were you scared of?" Daryl asked, tugging her braid.

"Well…everybody already treats me like a kid and I didn't want to come across all excited about Christmas since nobody else mentioned it…"

"Darlin' you get just as excited over stuff as you want," he told her. "If anybody has a problem with it I'll kick their ass."

She laughed, kissed him once more and bounced out of the room cheerfully. Daryl watched her go, chewing another piece of chocolate and thinking about what she'd said. She _was_ a generally enthusiastic person but she didn't annoy him the way most perky people did. She was cheerful yeah, but she was also a realist and that was a good combination to have in a situation like this. Better than a woman like Vicky, who wasn't enthusiastic about anything and so unrealistic and unsuited to this new world that she'd nearly gotten him killed. He finished the piece of chocolate and went to meet Rick for watch duty.

Songbird looked through the compound but she didn't see Lucky anywhere. She did find Freddy though, and she figured that was just as good. Maybe better because Freddy tended to get pretty enthusiastic himself. He didn't seem enthusiastic right now though and when she stepped into the kitchen she saw why. Vicky was sitting at the kitchen table delivering a monologue. It couldn't be considered a conversation because Freddy was refusing to take part; Songbird had never seen his features, which were normally attractive and affable, contorted into such obvious dislike.

"Songbird!" he exclaimed when she stepped into the room, interrupting Vicky's dialog about why men and women should trade off laundry duty, but maintaining that she couldn't possibly hunt or "deal with animals like that beast of a dog."

Songbird wanted to address that last comment, but she let her better nature and desire to rescue Freddy prevail.

"Glad you're back in one piece!" she gave him a smile and stretched up to kiss his cheek.

Freddy picked her up and swung her around; Songbird was like a fresh breeze or a ray of sunshine after being trapped by Vicky. He cursed his soft heart. If he could go back in time he would back Daryl up 110% on that whole "no room in the truck" thing and walk out so fast!

Songbird laughed and wrapped her arms around Freddy's shoulders. She was almost as happy to see him as she had been to see Daryl, especially since he was nearly back to his old self.

When he put her back on her feet she leaned against him and said, "So. I'm thinking…"

"Oh yeah?" Freddy teased. "Should I duck and cover?"

"Whatever Freddy! You know I'm brilliant! Remember the karaoke party? That was me! All me!" Songbird could swear she felt the room get colder as Vicky fixed an icy stare on her, but she went on. "Picture this," she spread her hands dramatically, movie director style. "Christmas! At the compound!"

Freddy grinned down at her as she continued and she could tell he'd be on board.

"I'm seeing lights, garlands, wreaths, a tree…"

"What on earth are you talking about?"

Vicky couldn't hold her tongue any longer. What was wrong with that child anyway? Christmas? Vicky didn't even want to remember that the holiday existed. What was the point of such a pathetic rendering of what was, in her family, the most extravagant, opulent holiday of the year? And why was the child hanging all over Freddy when she was supposed to be Daryl's "girlfriend?" She had no right to string Daryl along that way!

"I'm talking about Christmas," Songbird answered, trying to keep her tone civil and composed.

"And where do you plan to purchase these decorations you're so excited about?" Vicky inquired.

"I wasn't planning on _purchasing_ anything," Songbird answered, speaking slowly; if Vicky was going to treat her like an idiot then she'd return the favor. "We could make the garlands and wreaths and…"

"Well I, for one, am not going to sit around like a pioneer woman making decorations for a ridiculous charade of a holiday," Vicky interrupted coldly.

Songbird felt tears threaten, not because Vicky was making her sad, but because she tended to cry when she got mad. And she was nearly furious. What was this woman's problem anyway?

"I'm sure we won't need your help, Vicky," Freddy informed her when he saw tears fill Songbird's big blue eyes. "We've always made our decorations here anyway and you can always take over more of the farm chores while we get this together."

Before Vicky could form a response, Freddy squeezed Songbird's shoulders in a side hug and said, "I bet James has lights and stuff in the storage room. Let's go look okay Songbird?"

She smiled up at him in thanks and said, "Sure!"

They walked out, leaving Vicky where she was.

Freddy led her to a storage building and unlocked it. When he turned on the light, Songbird's eyes sparkled. James had been an organized fellow. There were large waterproof clear plastic boxes full of neatly labeled decorations for all holidays. The Christmas decorations took up the entire back wall.

"Wow…" Songbird breathed.

Freddy chuckled.

"You're really into this holiday aren't you?" he asked.

"I've never gotten to decorate for it before," she said, walking over to the boxes and taking them down so she could see what they contained.

"Really?" He thought back to his own life in Mississippi.

Southern ladies decorated to the hilt at Christmas and his mom was no exception. Their house had always looked ready for a photo spread in Southern Living. Lucky's mom had been the same and he'd gotten stuck stringing lights from the rafters every winter since he was twelve. He had a feeling decorating with Songbird would be more fun. They took boxes full of lights, garlands, and bows, and Songbird grabbed all the wreaths there were. There weren't nearly enough, but she figured she could make more.

They ran into Lucky on the way back and she raised her eyebrows at the armload of stuff Freddy and Songbird were carrying.

"We're doing Christmas!" Songbird exclaimed.

"I see," Lucky replied dryly.

"I'll leave you ladies and carry these extremely heavy boxes into the living room, all by myself," Freddy said after a moment of Songbird chattering to Lucky about the "awesome plaid bows. Like kilts! They're like kilt-bows Lucky!"

"Thanks and don't start without me!" Songbird heaped her armload of stuff onto Freddy's stack and gave him a grin.

"I won't," he promised, walking away, leaning around the stack so he could see.

"So what are you getting Daryl?" Lucky asked after Freddy had gone.

"Oh. Um…I don't know. What are you gonna get Rick?"

"I don't know! Why do you think I asked you what you were getting Daryl?" Lucky asked in exasperation.

They exchanged a look, both in deep thought. What could she possibly get Daryl without shopping?

"We can make pictures!" Lucky said suddenly.

"What, like drawing?" Songbird was confused. "I'm not great at the art, Lucky."

"No," Lucky sighed. "Not like drawing. Like _pictures_…you know…pictures, wink wink?"

"Like _naked_ pictures?" Songbird gasped, feeling her face heat up.

"Indeed," Lucky replied. "Naked pictures. I can do you and you can do me. Well…not _do_, just take pictures."

"Ummm…"

"And we could dress up in costumes," Lucky offered convincingly.

"Okay," Songbird agreed, totally sold on the idea now. "Costumes are fun!"

"So when are we doing this thing?" Lucky asked.

"After the decorations are done?" Songbird asked, really eager to get started decorating. There were still three weeks before Christmas for her to get her nerve up for provocative photos.

Lucky gave her a thumbs up and they walked into the house.

Daryl and Rick were sitting in the watchtower. They'd talked for a while and then dropped into a comfortable silence. Daryl noticed Rick grinning over nothing a while later.

"What you so happy about?" Daryl questioned, pulling his hood up in an attempt to keep warm.

"I'm just thinking about Lucky."

"Uh huh," Daryl drawled.

"I just didn't expect it!" Rick went on.

"Expect what?"

"I just didn't expect her to be so…so…adventurous." Rick grinned again, wanting to talk about it because he'd never experienced anything like it before and he wondered if Daryl had.

Daryl raised his eyebrow as he looked at Rick and said, "Adventurous how? You can't just say somethin' like that and then stop!"

"Well…take the other night for example…she…she practically begged for it!"

Daryl shrugged and said, "Yeah, well, Songbird does that…"

"No…she was practically begging for me to put it…put it in the, uh, the backdoor."

"Okay, she don't do _that_," Daryl amended, kind of shocked.

"Actually, she didn't _practically_ beg. She did beg. She actually begged for…for that."

"And she actually liked…that?" Daryl asked; he'd never done it but now he realized he had a good solid reason to ask. Condom rationing.

"I loved that!" Lucky answered, walking into the room.

Daryl sort of grinned as Rick dropped his face into his hands, looking humiliated.

"Oh, don't mind me, go on. It was interesting to hear your perspective!" she said, taking a seat and smiling.

"So seriously? You don't mind him doing…that? To you? There?" Daryl asked.

"Seriously, I love him doing that. To me. There," Lucky responded.

"I think we could change the subject," Rick commented.

"But Rick, he needs to know! Would you deny your friend that? Would you deny even your worst enemy that? Really, Rick?" Lucky looked sad, but Daryl could tell she was amused.

"Okay," Rick said in a businesslike tone. "It happened, it was great. You should do it. Use lube. Let's move on. What did you come up here for, Lucky?"

"They're decorating downstairs; it's horrible. I had to get away from the happy crafters."

"So Songbird got all the rest of the women to help?" Daryl asked.

"No," Lucky said emphatically. "It's Freddy! It's all Freddy! Well, and Songbird. Freddy and Songbird and holiday cheer. Can you imagine?"

Daryl laughed.

"You wanna stay up here so I can go see if she needs help?" he asked.

"Sure," Lucky answered. "Anything to get me away from the cheer."

When Daryl walked into the living room he was surprised at how nice it looked. Crowded…but nice.

"Daryl!" Songbird chirped, giving him a hug. "What do you think?"

"Good job darlin'," he answered, giving her a kiss on the top of the head.

"It'll be better when we have the tree," she said, pointing to the corner Freddy and the kids were cleaning out. "I have to get back to putting bows on wreaths."

"Knock yourself out," he replied with a smile. "I'm just gonna watch ya'll. Tell me if you need anything."

He sat down on the couch and kept an eye on her as she wrapped one of the wreaths in garland and attached a red and gold plaid bow. It looked nice, and he enjoyed her smile. Once the corner was cleaned out and all the wreaths had been bowed, Songbird began braiding tinsel into Sophia's hair and Carl started talking to Freddy about the best kind of Christmas tree. Apparently in his house, they'd always had the fake kind and now that Carl could remedy that, he wanted the tallest, fattest, piney-est pine tree in the woods. Daryl didn't say it, but he agreed. He and Merle hadn't really fucked with a Christmas tree since Daryl was thirteen and they one they'd put up before that was a 4 ft. tall, artificial, Charlie Brown special.

Vicky came past the room, looking at it in its half decorated, half chaotic state as Songbird continued to flirt with Freddy, who had put a Christmas bow on top of her head and tied it under her chin. She'd responded by making him a tie of garland. The other two children in the room were helping to create further chaos and she wondered where their parents were. She never would have left her child alone for a moment with that girl. "Songbird" honestly. That was a name for a stripper or a hippie, not any kind normal woman.

Daryl sighed when Vicky sat down beside him. She looked pissed.

"What's your problem?" he asked bluntly after she sighed heavily, two or three times.

"Don't you think this is all a little silly?" she asked. "I mean…it isn't as if we can get presents for each other. I think that she's just raising people's hopes for nothing."

"I don't," Daryl stretched his legs. "She's happy and that's what I give a damn about. Besides, when I was growin' up me and my brother usually made somethin' for our mama or…" he had to stop and clear his throat before he could go on. "Or for each other."

Songbird had seen Daryl's face change briefly when he mentioned Merle and she realized he'd never really told her much about his brother or his life before this whole thing. She didn't like the fact that Vicky was sitting that close to him. She'd never thought she was the jealous type, but it made her blood boil to see Vicky being all nice to Daryl when she was such a bitch to her. She finished Sophia's braid and told her to go show Carol and then went and plopped right down in Daryl's lap, giving Vicky a big smile and laying her head on Daryl's shoulder.

"Done for now?" Daryl asked, hugging her.

"Yeah. We can't do much more without the tree and some branches for more wreaths."

"_More_ wreaths?" Vicky asked, cocking an eyebrow at the pile of wreaths on the chair across the room. There had to be at least seven already.

"Yep, a wreath on every door," Songbird agreed firmly.

"I gotta get back to my watch shift," Daryl informed her, before he was tempted to stay. "See you later, darlin'."

"I'll wait up for you," she said, standing up so he could get up.

"You'll get your ass to bed," he argued. "You need to sleep."

"I don't want to sleep alone!"

"Well at least lay down on the couch and I'll come get you when I'm done," Daryl said, tapping the end of her nose and smiling when she pouted. God damn that girl was cute. "Promise, or I'll make you sit on watch with me."

"I promise," she answered.

Vicky left the room soon after Daryl did and Freddy directed an exaggeratedly relieved expression at Songbird. She laughed and nodded.

When watch was over Daryl went into the living room, expecting Songbird to be asleep on the couch. Instead he found her sitting up, frowning at the book in her lap. He wondered what the hell she was reading to make her look so angry. When she saw him in the doorway and transferred the frown to him, he raised his eyebrows.

"So?" she questioned evenly. "Saved Vicky's life huh? Nearly died," she made air quotes and put on a very proper air before continuing, "Several times over just to make sure she was safe?"

_Shit_. Daryl sighed.

"Kinda. Who told you?"

"Vicky," Songbird informed him.

_Bitch_, Daryl thought.

"Well, darlin'…"

"I don't want you nearly dying to save anybody!" she burst out. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinkin' I don't like to watch people die," Daryl defended himself. "It's a shitty way to go."

"Why didn't you tell me? Why'd I have to hear it from Vicky?"

Daryl cleared his throat and shifted his weight.

"I didn't want you worryin'. Too late to do anything about it now anyway, right?"

She sighed. He was right, but she wished she'd heard the story from him rather than her. Vicky had just been so smug about it!

"Okay. Did you really," air quotes again, "Sheild her with your own body to save her from the Walker hoard?"

Daryl snorted. "Uh. No. She was panickin' and screamin' and uh…what I actually did was shove her against the wall cause I needed to get her attention."

"Show me," Songbird requested, standing up.

"But I don't wanna hurt you," he protested. "I probably shoved her pretty hard…"

"Come on Daryl! Just show me!"

He sighed again, but he did as she asked, pushing her against the wall and keeping her pressed there firmly.

Songbird tired to see the situation from Vicky's point of view. She and Vicky were about the same height and, while Vicky weighed more, she was certainly not fat. Daryl's body did totally shield Songbird's and she knew that he would have appeared to be shielding Vicky too.

"Then what did you do?" she asked.

"This," Daryl tilted her chin so that their eyes met. "But probably a lot harder. And then I uh…yelled at her."

"What'd you say?"

"I don't remember. Somethin' about my plans to get out alive and her needin' to run when I ran."

"Oh. Well…I still don't like her," Songbird was beginning to get distracted by this position.

"Hell, darlin' I don't like her either. Blame your friend Freddy. I told her there wasn't room in the truck. But…while I got you here…"

Daryl lowered his head and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around him and whispered, "You better not have done this with her."

"I don't think hell's good and frozen yet," Daryl replied, making her laugh.

A/N: Freddy and Lucky aren't mine, neither is Daryl (sad face) but Songbird is! And she's adorable! Lol

Gurl3677: I don't like her either.

Azalia Fox Knightling: Tee-hee I don't know. The intensity of your Vicky hate made me giggle!

Lucy Freebird: Every time I type your name I type Lucky and then have to change it. Lol just thought you should know that! And thanks for the compliment! You are quite right, Vicky doesn't know what she's getting into…but that's all I will say!

Akuish: You and everyone else! Including me. Vicky's a straight up bitch no lie. Michelangelo is great isn't he? Love that fake dog! I wish he was real. Freddy MacKensie is an awesome guy isn't he? You pretty much can't help but like him! Unless you're Daryl…in which case it's easy!


	32. Chapter 30

A week later, two weeks before Christmas, Songbird finally got up the nerve to go to Lucky's room for the nudie pictures. She knocked and waited for Lucky to give her the okay before walking into the room. She thought Rick was cute, but that didn't mean she wanted to see him naked or anything. It seemed she was doomed to that fate with Lucky, though. She hadn't been able to think of anything else to give Daryl for Christmas. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves and then walked in, locking the door firmly behind her.

"Why do you look so nervous? I promise I won't take advantage of you," Lucky teased.

Songbird didn't know whether to be pleased or alarmed at Lucky's bright pink, fluffy robe. On the one hand, she was dressed. On the other hand, she was naked under there…but wasn't everybody naked under their clothes? She was in deep thought over that when Lucky spoke again.

"Um…Songbird? I'm seriously not going to rape you," Lucky told her.

"Right. I know. Okay. Let's…um…do this then," Songbird said determinedly.

"So…um…yeah," Lucky began.

"Yeah." Songbird agreed.

"Hmmm…so how do you suggest we get over this awkward point?" Lucky asked.

"I…maybe…how did you do it for the other pictures?"

"I wasn't naked for those."

"Good point."

"And James was taking them," Lucky went on.

"Awkward."

"I didn't know they were dirty!" Lucky protested.

"Okay. All right. Well. I have posed for some stuff…posters and…um…the like. Maybe we should start with costumes first?" Songbird questioned.

"I took these in," Lucky said, walking over and pointing to an array of outfits on the bed. "They should fit you. And I think Daryl would like them."

Songbird looked at the clothes. The camouflage fabric peeking out from beneath a pair of extremely short shorts and a midriff top that she planned to wear later, caught her eye and she picked it up. It turned out to be sleeveless fitted jacket and form fitting fatigue pants.

"Hmmm…why don't you wear the jacket open with nothing underneath it?" Lucky suggested.

"I want combat boots," was all Songbird said.

Lucky sighed heavily and went to her closet, coming back with a pair of combat boots.

"Okay. I think I can do this," Songbird said bravely, going into the bathroom, pointlessly, but she figured she would work her way to changing right in the same room as Lucky before they were done.

When Songbird came out of the bathroom, holding the front of the jacket tightly together, she saw Lucky dressed in a green teddy.

"You look so much more grown up than me," Songbird complained. "I'm still too skinny."

"I really don't think that Daryl's going to complain about it," Lucky shrugged.

"All right, who goes first?" Songbird asked.

"You know how to use a camera right? You're not going to break my camera are you? They just don't make these anymore," Lucky informed her.

"I know how to use a camera," Songbird replied. "It's not nearly as complicated as a stove."

"It's an SLR, an older SLR," Lucky said slowly. "Do not ruin my pictures."

"I will not ruin your pictures!" Songbird emphasized. "Now get all provocatively posed and quit worrying!"

Lucky arranged herself on the bed and looked demurely at the camera. Songbird snapped a few shots, moving around to test the different perspectives and feeling sort of like a professional photographer, except for the fact that her shirt was hanging open. At least she wasn't as nervous though. Lucky seemed perfectly natural, after all.

"Oh don't forget to take a few of me over here," she gestured to a backdrop out in the theater room.

"Okay. Did you want to change outfits before that?" Songbird asked.

"Nah, I'll take a few standing up in this," Lucky answered, scooting off the bed and walking into the other room.

Songbird took a few more pictures and then Lucky took the camera.

"Your turn," Lucky informed her.

"Well now I'm all scared," she admitted. "What should I do?"

"Just pretend that there's a little tiny Daryl in the camera lens," Lucky suggested.

"Uh huh." Songbird replied dryly. "Should I stand or get on the bed?"

"I don't really see an occasion for a soldier to take anything lying down," Lucky answered.

"Okay," Songbird walked over to the backdrop.

"Turn away and then look back at me," Lucky directed.

Songbird was relieved; this was easier with someone directing her! She did as Lucky said, but right as Lucky snapped the picture, she burst into a fit of nervous giggles.

"Songbird!" Lucky squealed.

"I'm sorry!" she tried to calm down, facing the wall and forcing her smile away. Of all the stupid habits she had, she hated that one the most. "I'm ready now, I swear."

She faced Lucky again, trying to look sexy.

"Um…that's…nice…what are you doing?"

"I don't know! What should I be doing?"

"Like this," Lucky replied, putting on a sultry smirk.

Songbird tried to copy the expression, and given that Lucky didn't look confused, she figured it must have worked. They did a few more poses of her in the camo outfit and then she decided to change outfits.

All in all, Songbird posed as a soldier, a mechanic, a hunter, a biker girl, and she wore the corset she'd looted in the mall right after she met Lucky for a few shots as well. Lucky stuck with the green teddy and other lingerie.

"I think it's time, Songbird," Lucky said seriously. "We have reached the point where the clothes need to come off."

"Really?" Songbird squeaked.

"Well, okay, if you don't want to, you don't have to. But I'm totally going to," Lucky said firmly.

"You first then," Songbird took the easy way out.

"Pussy," Lucky scoffed.

Songbird sighed. She knew Lucky was right.

"I'm going to do it, I swear! Just…you first."

"Fine," Lucky shimmied out of her negligee casually.

Songbird looked down on instinct.

"You going to take pictures of the floor there Songbird?" Lucky asked.

"No. Just…arrange yourself…and let me know when you're…you know…ready."

Lucky did and even though Songbird couldn't stop blushing, she managed to take several great shots.

"Now you?" Lucky asked.

"Yeah," she didn't move though.

"Look, you don't have too," Lucky said. "If you're done then I'm done and we…well…I can get dressed."

"No, I'm doing this."

She closed her eyes and pulled off the leather jacket that had been part of the biker girl outfit and then the leather hot pants that went with it.

"Those aren't going to be very sexy pictures with your face all scrunched," Lucky commented. "But if that's what you want…"

Songbird opened her eyes and shook her head.

"What should I do now?"

"You could do what I did," Lucky offered, gesturing to the bed.

"Okay." Now that she was totally naked in front of someone who wasn't Daryl, she realized it wasn't so bad. Weird, but not totally humiliating or anything.

She got on the bed and arranged herself into what she hoped turned out to be a provocative pose. Once Lucky had snapped a few more shots, Songbird started feeling like she had been worried over nothing. This was actually kind of fun.

Lucky lowered her camera. "So, you think we're done here?"

"I think the only thing sexier would be if we were in the picture together." Songbird answered with a smile as she hopped down from the bed.

They stood there looking at each other, both kind of laughing but still wondering if it might just be a good idea.

"Do you…uh…hmm…" They started simultaneously.

"Well, _they_ would like it…" Songbird affirmed, playing with her hair nervously.

"_They_ definitely would, I mean… if you want to…" Lucky agreed hesitantly.

"So how would we…what would we do?" Songbird asked.

"Let me get my tripod; you want to get back on the bed?" Lucky told her as she walked into one of the back rooms.

Songbird climbed back up onto the bed. Lucky came back and set the camera up, looking through the viewfinder to make sure it would look okay and then climbed up to sit beside her friend. There was about two or three feet between them; neither of them wanted to be the one to make the first move.

"I will have to say that this," Lucky gestured to the space between them. "This is not sexy."

"Right."Songbird scooted a foot closer.

Lucky moved the rest of the way leaving only a couple of inches between them. "Ahem. So what _are_ we going to do?" She asked, looking seriously at her friend.

"I thought you had a plan. You always have a plan," Songbird said defensively.

"Fine," she sighed. "Come here."

Lucky spun Songbird so that they were facing each other. And Songbird felt Lucky brush her hair back gently. It was odd to be touched intimately and yet so softly. Daryl's hands were rough; Lucky's weren't. She forced herself to relax. She and River had been photographed in some strange poses too…but they were always dressed. Lucky had pulled her a little bit closer and Songbird felt their breasts brush together. Also odd, but again not terrible. She wished that hers were more like Lucky's in fact. Lucky was…well, woman shaped and she still looked mostly like a kid. As she thought, Lucky leaned closer and Songbird felt her breath warm on her face. She was also aware of Lucky's hand skimming down her arm to come to rest on her waist.

Songbird's lips parted. She wasn't sure what to do, or say. The sensations were strange, but they weren't bad. She decided to run her fingers through Lucky's thick auburn hair.

The click of the flash jerked Songbird out of her daze.

"I think that will be a good one!" Lucky grinned. "Do you want to take another just to be sure?"

"You're like a magician! I wasn't nervous at all! Sure!" Songbird smiled back. "Same pose or something different?"

Lucky didn't answer; she just moved behind Songbird, so that her back was to Lucky's chest. She gasped when Lucky's hand cupped her breast, pinching her nipple; instinct commanded her to turn her head and she met Lucky's lips in a gentle kiss as the shutter snapped.

"Huh!" Songbird said in surprise. "I've never done that before."

"Yeah, me either," Lucky replied with a shrug.

"Okay, do you think that's good enough?" Songbird asked.

"It's up to you."

Songbird figured that was good enough.

"Do you have a place to develop these?" Songbird asked. "Because if you do, I wanna watch."

"I've got a darkroom right in there." Lucky nodded toward the room that she had retrieved the tripod from.

"Well, let's go do that!" She jumped off the bed and started pulling her clothes on.

Lucky dressed as well and they went into the darkroom. Later they spread the finished product across Lucky's bedroom floor and admired their hard work.

"I think we look pretty hot," Songbird said after a moment.

"Damn right we do," Lucky responded. "Hmmm…but do you think that Daryl will appreciate Rick sees this naked picture of you?"

"No. No he will not," Songbird confirmed, her eyes going wide with realization. "And Rick will feel the same way about Daryl having a picture of you. Dang. We should have thought about that. We should burn them."

"No, they're beautiful art!" Lucky protested. "Don't you want to keep one?"

"What if Daryl found it?"

"Eh."

"We should put them in a safe location," Songbird said dramatically. "And never speak of them again!"

"Well, I'll just put them back in the darkroom. No one ever goes in there."

"Okay, that's fine with me," she pushed her photos into the folder Lucky handed her and figured she could hide the folder in the laptop bag. When Lucky had organized her own photos and hidden them in a drawer in her nightstand, Songbird unlocked the door and opened it.

"Don't forget to put those away," Songbird reminded Lucky as she walked out.

"You're ashamed of me aren't you?" Lucky called. "Ashamed of what we've done here today!"

Songbird was laughing over that until she saw Glenn standing outside the door to the guy's room.

"What'd you do?" he asked playfully. He didn't really mean anything by it, but Songbird blushed from the neck of her shirt to roots of her hair and his interest was piqued. "Seriously. What'd you do?" 

"Nothing! Stuff. Nothing!" Songbird walked into the room she shared with Daryl and closed the door firmly.

He discovered that he simply had to know. Finding out would be Glenn's Christmas present to Glenn. He slipped quietly into Lucky's room, saw the bathroom light slanting from the slightly ajar door and looked around. Nothing suspicious so far…other than some clothes piled beside the bed. That's when he noticed the manila folder laying on the floor. He bent over and picked it up, flipping the cover open curiously. His eyes went wide with surprise and pleasure.

"Oh my god!" he whispered.

He didn't even stop to think before he stuffed the contraband under his shirt and ran like hell for the guy's room and his backpack. Christmas present hadn't been far off the mark!

Songbird was tossing knives into the dummies painted to look like Walkers when Lucky came into the room.

"Did you… uh…do anything with those pictures?" Lucky questioned softly.

"I just put them in my computer bag, why?" Songbird asked, wondering if Lucky had found a better hiding place.

"No. The _other_ pictures," Lucky practically whispered.

Songbird hoped Lucky didn't mean what she thought she meant. "What do you mean?"

"Oh God!" Lucky covered her face with her hands. "I just went to pee and when I came back, they were gone! I didn't even hear anyone come into the room. Who would do that?"

They both glanced around, even though they were the only people in the room.

"I can't believe _you_ did that! We should have burned them!" Songbird was embarrassed and humiliated.

"_I_ didn't do anything! I wouldn't have even had time to burn them even if that was what we were going to do! I was only in there for a second!" Lucky snapped defensively.

"Look, if one of our guys has them, we'll find out soon enough. If not, then… I don't really want to know about it," Songbird looked at her sneakers, trying not cry. "We shall never speak of this again. Do you understand?"

Lucky rolled her eyes, "Whatever, I think I just want to forget about it anyway."

"Fine!" Songbird agreed forcing her voice into a business like tone. It came out a little too loud, but it was too late to do anything about that. "Why don't you and Freddy go get us a tree? That should give you something to think about!"

"Okay," Lucky shrugged, infuriatingly nonchalant. "Go find Freddy. I'm ready to go when he is."

Songbird sighed and went to do so as Lucky plopped down on the couch and put her feet up.

Freddy was in the kitchen.

"Hey!" she said. "Lucky and you are getting a tree."

"We are?" he asked with a grin.

"You must. You have Carl's specifics and you know the landscape. You're the only ones who can save Christmas!" Songbird said dramatically.

Freddy laughed and said, "Well, then I accept this mission. But before I go, I want to ask you something."

"What's that?"

"Okay…you remember the karaoke party?"

"Yeah?"

"You remember that we…you know. Had that kiss right?" Freddy looked embarrassed.

"I haven't forgotten," Songbird answered, wondering where he was going with this.

"Have you told Daryl?"

"God no!" Songbird gasped. "Did you?"

She was horrified. Daryl would be so furious!

"No!" Freddy said just as emphatically. "I just didn't want to slip and say something if you weren't ever going to tell him. I mean it wasn't a big deal or anything so…"

"Yeah, I'd prefer it if Daryl didn't catch news of any of my MacKensie kisses…oh no!" Songbird clapped her hands over her mouth.

Freddy's jaw dropped.

"What?"

"Nothing!" Songbird blushed. "Nothing at all…"

"My sister kissed you?" Freddy could barely say the words.

"Yeah, but it didn't mean anything…I mean it was nice…really nice in fact, _way _nicer that I expected…that's not the point! Oh Freddy! I didn't mean to say anything at all!"

"Yeah, but why? Why would she do that?" Freddy was shocked and wounded because he figured that Songbird meant Lucky was better kisser than him.

"We are not going to discuss this further," Songbird decreed. "A tree. A tree, Freddy! You and Lucky and a tree!"

"Lucky's going to get a tree?" Rick asked, poking his head into the kitchen. "Mind if I tag along?"

"Sure, I don't care," Freddy sounded mildly disgruntled, but Songbird was giving him big pleading eyes and he knew that he couldn't continue the discussion in front of Rick.

Songbird sat at the table and dropped her face into her hands. The only bright side to the conversation was that Freddy obviously didn't have the photos.

A/N: Lucky and Freddy belong to Gw3nhwyfar, read One Last Dream for their side of this story and cause it's good lol

Gurl 3677: I love Christmas too! I'm totally in the Christmas spirit now…which is odd because it's nearly Halloween! Lol

Azalia Fox Knightling: You are most amusing :D and yeah, Vicky is how shall we say…not Daryl's type? But hey…can't blame Vicky for thinking he's sexy as hell! Even if she is a bitch.

Lucy Freebird: Yeah, Daryl looks at Vicky as an annoyance…and I love my cheerful little Songbird too!

Akuish: Bwahahaa! "Hate her with the burning intensity of a thousand suns" made me laugh till I couldn't breathe! I'm still giggling over that even as I type this. Made my freakin' day with that comment! I planned to do the laptop thing for everyone but now I'm not so sure…I still might. I will for sure have Songbirds…and I like your idea about getting Vicky's history as well! So I'll try to get that in there as well. There will also be more Michelangelo in future chapters. It's just that he's not allowed in the house due to Freddy's *ahem* allergy. Lol


	33. Chapter 31

That afternoon Songbird heard the kids shouting with excitement and figured the tree was back. It was; it was gorgeous! She was thrilled. Lucky must have been mad at Freddy, because she pointed out several times that Rick had been the one to choose the tree. Freddy gave her a dirty look and walked over to Songbird.

"I was thinking; we've got some popcorn in the pantry. We could pop it and make garland."

"Sounds good!" she walked out, hoping Freddy was over that whole kissing thing.

He must have been because he didn't mention it again as they waited for the corn to pop. They heard the general chatter as the group gathered in the living room.

"This is nice isn't it?" she asked, leaning against the stove.

"It really is," he agreed, tugging her braid before removing the popcorn from the stovetop and pouring it into a large bowl.

Daryl walked in and sat down beside Lucky.

"You look kinda lonesome over here by yourself," he told her.

"Mom always had to force me into the holiday spirit, it's actually kind of nice to be able to feel my way through it on my own," Lucky said with a shrug.

"Yeah, I ain't jumpin' in any time soon neither," he said it softly, and glanced around to make sure Songbird hadn't heard him. Lucky grinned and he returned the smile. He was happy that this Christmas thing was making Songbird so happy, but that was about all the holiday spirit he had.

He watched as she walked in with a huge bowl of popcorn and the group gathered around her. Freddy gestured, explaining how to string the popcorn and Daryl saw Sophia sneak several pieces and put them into her mouth. He knew Songbird saw too, but since she'd done the same thing, she couldn't protest.

"No I don't know whose it is. Don't look at me like that, Rick!"

Lori's voice suddenly rang out over the room. No one said anything, but everyone went quiet.

"Yes, I'm pregnant and no, I don't know who the father is. I guess you all can make what you want to out of that!" she went on, emotionally.

Daryl felt Lucky lean against him, hiding her face against his shirt. Songbird gasped, trying to look like she'd had no clue.

Lori stayed still for few more minutes and then she spun around, leaving the room. Shane followed her after a second. Rick stayed where he was. He looked at Lucky, but she didn't move.

"Hey, you gonna be all right?" Daryl whispered. He hoped she wouldn't be mad about it, even though he figured it must be a shitty feeling. But Rick wasn't the cheatin' type so it had to have happened before he and Lucky met.

"Yeah," Lucky said, her face still hidden. After a few seconds she sat up. "It's… um… it's none of my business, right?"

"I don't see how it's not your business," Daryl answered honestly, unsure what she needed to hear or what Rick would want him to say.

"Lucy…" Rick began, stepping closer.

"It happened before me, right?" was all Lucky asked.

"Of course!"

"I don't know how I feel about this, Rick. But I am on your side, whatever side that is," Lucky said.

"I'm not really sure what side that is either." Songbird noticed that Rick looked exhausted suddenly and confused. "I…I'm sorry you had to hear it this way."

"You're sorry for me? Oh, honey! I am being such a selfish idiot right now aren't I?" Daryl was relieved when Lucky threw her arms around Rick and apologized.

It was going to be a shitty situation for both of them, but at least Lucky had handled it well.

"Geez, I'm glad we all got tickets to the Lucky show," Freddy cut in. "I know I wouldn't want to miss a single moment in the amazing saga; where it's all Lucky all the time!"

"Boy, you should never miss a good chance to shut the hell up," Daryl pointed at Freddy.

"What my sister and I say to each other is none of your business," Freddy protested.

"It is when I have to hear it," Daryl drawled. "You're ruinin' all the Christmas cheer. And if you keep eatin' that and ain't gonna be none left for the tree," Daryl pointed out as Songbird and Sophia each popped another piece of popcorn into their mouths.

"Right," Songbird said. "Let's do this thing!"

The rest of the tree decoration went off without a single stunning revelation and Daryl put his arm around Songbird's shoulders, looking up at the huge tree.

"All done with decoratin?" he asked.

"Oh no!" Songbird sounded shocked. "There's still wreaths to be made and we're going to make Christmas counters…"

"Christmas counters!" Sophia clapped. "Do we have red and green paper?"

"Sure do!" Freddy answered. "We'll go find that now."

"What's a Christmas counter?" Daryl asked.

"You know! They're made of paper links…one for each day between now and Christmas," she explained.

"Oh. You don't need me for that though right?" he questioned hopefully.

"Relax, I know you aren't as into this as Freddy is. I was wondering if you could find me some mistletoe though."

"Uh…I'll do my best."

"Kiss me for inspiration?" she asked with a grin.

"Why not?" he picked her up and kissed her quickly, then headed out. He wondered where the hell he was gonna find mistletoe, but he was relieved to get out of the crowded room. You don't go from totally anti-social to comfy in a crowd in a few short months.

Three nights later Songbird crossed her arms when she saw Vicky sit down beside Daryl at the table. She sat on the other side of him, but dinner was tense for her. It seemed to Songbird that Vicky had spent a lot of the past weeks near Daryl.

After dinner Vicky stood and placed her hand on Daryl's shoulder to fix the strap on her shoe. She caught a look of dislike from that child on the other side of Daryl, but she only smiled at him and walked out.

"Will you stay and help me do the dishes Songbird?" Lori asked.

"Sure," Songbird didn't really want to, but Lori still looked sort of queasy and there were always a lot of dishes with a group that large.

Lori was up to her elbows in hot water and dish soap and Songbird was drying a plate when Lori said, "You should watch out for Vicky."

"What?" she was so surprised that she stopped drying and just stared at the other woman.

"She isn't your biggest fan," Lori said dryly. "But other than you, she _might_ be Daryl's. And that's not a good combination."

"Yeah, I'd noticed her hanging all over him…"Songbird chewed her lip. "But Daryl doesn't seem…"

"_He_ doesn't seem to be interested in _her_," Lori clarified. "I just wanted to bring it up…"

"It's nice of you to look out for me," Songbird gave Lori a hug briefly. "Do you think I should talk to him?"

"Couldn't hurt," Lori replied. "Remind him of your extreme accuracy with knives and the fact that you know where he sleeps."

Songbird laughed and they finished the dishes.

That night, while Daryl was getting undressed, Songbird said, "Hey Daryl?"

"Yeah?"

"I think Vicky wants you."

Daryl laughed.

"Ah darlin', you got it all wrong. Women like her never, ever, go for men like me!"

"Men like you? Sexy men who save their lives? Men who stare death in the face to get them out of the stupid situations they've gotten themselves into? The only way you could have been more impressive is if you'd been in Walgreen's on a white horse!"

"That woulda been weird," he answered with a grin. "And I'm not…real good on a horse. You never know what those fuckers are gonna do. Or when they're gonna move."

"I like to ride," she said, shaking her braid out.

"I know," he answered, grabbing her around the waist. "How 'bout you do some of that right now?"

"Later I will. But…you don't believe me about Vicky?"

She looked kinda wounded.

"Darlin', I just think you're givin' me too much credit," he answered. "I'm tellin' you women like that don't look twice at guys like me."

"All right," she said with a sigh when he started kissing her neck. "But if you cheat on me, I'll do something terrible to you."

"Hell, cheatin' on you with her would be punishment enough," Daryl muttered, pulling her tee shirt off and lowering his lips to her breasts. "I bet she ain't half as flexible, and I'm sure she don't taste near as good."

"Mmmm," she arched her back, digging her nails into his shoulders as he ran his fingers down her belly, unbuttoning her jeans and pushing them down as he slid his hand into her panties.

He cupped his hand around her possessively, kissing her again.

"You know what?" he asked, teasing her entrance with his fingers.

"What?" she gasped.

"I like that this ain't never been anybody else's," he informed her. "I like that you're all mine."

"I always will be," she promised. "I'll never want anybody else the way I want you."

"Damn right," he answered. "I'm gonna make sure of that."

He popped her on the ass and pointed up and she scrambled into their bed. He undressed and turned off the light before he followed her. She wrapped her arms around Daryl when he braced himself over her. She wondered if she was boring for preferring this position, but she loved feeling his strength. She loved feeling his control over her. Maybe that made the missionary position a little less innocent?

"What you thinkin' about?" he asked.

He wasn't insulted by her distraction, but she blushed and apologized anyway.

"I was thinking about control. And you. And me."

"Oh yeah?" Daryl pressed his lips to her neck, then bit it lightly. "Weird thing to be thinkin' about when I'm doin' some of my best work here."

"Sorry," she said again, biting her lip and looking up at him.

"Don't be. I like every damn thing about you. Especially this," he grinned at her as he slid inside her.

She arched her back to take him deeper. He kissed her in appreciation.

"Just right, darlin'."

When it was over, Daryl rolled onto his back and said, "So…what about control?"

"Huh?" Songbird asked, catching her breath.

"You said somethin' about thinkin' about control. I just had my mind on somethin' else at the time."

"Oh," she explained what she'd been thinking about and he pulled her against him, letting her head rest on his shoulder.

"Well, if you don't mind bein' on bottom I don't mind either," he replied.

She smiled and poked him in the ribs.

"Night, darlin'."

"Night, Daryl."

Two days before Christmas, Daryl was in the mood to go hunting. There was Christmas dinner to think about. He wondered if he could find a turkey. He decided to go find Songbird and see if she wanted to go with him the next day.

He was musing over that as he walked across the yard, practically running into Vicky.

"Hey," he said.

"Hello," she answered, brightening up. "I'm supposed to be feeding the chickens…but I don't really know…"

"I'll show you where the stuff's at," he told her, since he was headed for the barn anyway. Songbird spent a good bit of time in there when she needed to be outside.

"Thanks!" she fell into step with him and he glanced at her, going along in those heels like she was headed for the office.

"It's so cold," she said after a moment of silence.

"Yeah," Daryl agreed; the ground was hard as ice and just as cold under his boots and he could see that the pond was frozen.

Michelangelo barked happily when Daryl got within sight and Vicky clutched his arm.

"He wouldn't hurt you," Daryl explained again. "He's just excitable. Hey boy," he went on, addressing the pony sized animal grinning ear to doggy ear at him. "I'll be back to walk you later." With a laugh he went on, speaking to Vicky, "He oughta be the Songbird's responsibility, but swear to god, Michelangelo walks her!"

"I know," Vicky sounded disapproving. "I don't know why that child thought it would be a good idea to bring something she can't even control to a place where people are supposed to feel safe…"

"She ain't a child," Daryl said. "She's eighteen. And she did it 'cause she's got a good heart. Anyway, I been training him to hunt and he's a good watchdog."

"Sorry," Vicky looked down for a moment and then sighed as she said, "I've just always been afraid of dogs…"

Daryl snorted.

"You oughta talk to Freddy, I think he's got you beat in that department."

He pulled the barn door open and had planned to call up to the hayloft for Songbird, but Vicky went on, "And I've never fed chickens in my life."

"I hadn't either till I came here," he said walking over to where the chicken feed was. "But it's a simple thing. Take food," he handed her a bucket and scooped chicken feed into it, "Throw it on the ground. Chickens are fed."

"You're so smart," Vicky stepped closer. "I don't know what I would have done without you."

"I ain't done nothin' special," Daryl protested.

"Yes you have! What you did was very special…to me," she went on. "You nearly died to save me! And well…I'd like to repay you. I understand that…well, I understand why you're involved with "Songbird," Vicky said the name as if it were ridiculous. "After all…she's constantly throwing herself at you and well…men have needs after all."

"Yeah, but I…" Daryl actually didn't know what to say.

Hadn't he told Songbird that she was crazy when she suggested this? Women like Vicky never wanted guys like him!

"I just wanted to tell you that if you're tired of playing daddy, you could always have me," Vicky leaned forward while Daryl was still frozen in shock and pressed her lips to his.

"Well isn't that just sweet of you to offer."

Daryl looked toward the back of the barn to see Songbird stepping away from the rope; she must have gone down it instead of taking the ladder. That girl was going to break her damn neck…he shook his head and prioritized. What the hell was he supposed to say? "You're right, she's a total whore!" seemed like the only thing he could say to Songbird, but he didn't want to say it in front of Vicky. He might not be a nice guy exactly but that was beyond even his level of rudeness.

"You couldn't blame him for preferring a grown up relationship to what the two of you have," Vicky said condescendingly.

"Hey I never…" Daryl began.

"And just what is it you think we have?" Songbird asked, stepping closer and speaking in that icy voice that Daryl hadn't heard since the argument with Shane about heading west.

"Obviously he's too grown up for you," Vicky crossed her arms. "I'm sure that a girl like you…"

"A girl _like me_?" Songbird cut in. "Just what exactly do you think I am?"

"I don't know, but you've obviously got something to be ashamed of! The way you refuse to talk about yourself, the way you go by that ridiculous name, as if you're some kind of showgirl…"

"Showgirl?" Songbird's voice went up. "I am sick and tired of people assuming that they know me! You don't know anything about me; how dare you judge my life? My relationship?"

"Relationship?" Vicky laughed. "Between an 18 year old girl and a grown man?"

"Now just a second!" Daryl was starting to get pissed off.

"No," Songbird held up her hand. "I can handle this."

"Why don't you admit that you're just being silly?" the other woman adopted that patronizing tone that she used to Songbird so often. "It's not as if he'll ever love you."

Songbird opened her mouth, but at just that moment, the sickening realization hit her. Daryl hadn't ever told her he loved her. Never once.

"See?" Vicky said. "Think about it. You're just a child."

"And you're just a whore," Songbird felt her temper go and she gave in to temptation. Before anyone had a chance to say anything else, she punched Vicky square in the nose.

Daryl's jaw dropped. He might have expected a slap or two to be exchanged, but that was a solid right cross! She'd barely even projected the hit. The lessons with Lucky were paying off.

Vicky had shrieked and put both hands over face. Blood dripped from between her fingers. Songbird didn't wait for anybody to speak; she simply spun around and stomped out of the barn.

He hurried after her, leaving Vicky to fend for herself.

"Good hit," he offered, catching up with her.

He was surprised to see her crying.

"Darlin', what's wrong?"

"She's right isn't she?" Songbird asked, walking faster. "You're just either a weird guy with a daddy fetish or you're stringing me along!"

"What?"

An old memory, from a letter she was never supposed to have read, had surfaced after Vicky's statement. "Never go all the way before they tell you they love you. Consider this a free life lesson."

"I don't have anything to say to you right now!" Songbird told him, trying not to cry any harder than she already was.

He caught her arm, she jerked away.

"Fuckin' hell! Just tell me what the problem is! Is it 'cause of the kiss? I didn't kiss her on purpose. Hell I didn't even kiss her back! She surprised me and I…"

"It has nothing to do with that!" she said. "Just leave me alone!"

She ran into the house; Daryl pushed both hands through his hair. What the fuck? Maybe if he left her alone for a while she'd calm down and they could talk. She usually got over stuff pretty quick.

Songbird didn't know what to do. She went to their room, but she couldn't stop crying. She couldn't go to the girl's room because Vicky would be in there. She couldn't stay there because Daryl didn't love her and she loved him. She curled up on the bottom bunk and sobbed harder.

She spent the day avoiding people, and when Daryl walked into the room that night, she walked out.

"Wait and talk to me," Daryl ordered.

"I don't want to."

He could tell she'd been crying all day; her face was puffy and her eyes were red.

"I want you to," he answered. "I don't know what the hell is wrong!"

She walked out and into the guy's room.

"I saw Vicky's face," Glenn began. "And I couldn't believe…hey are you okay?"

"I'm sleeping in here tonight," she said, crawling onto the bunk at the back and pulling the covers over her head.

Glenn glanced at T and then bolted out of the room, looking for Daryl. He didn't have to look far. Daryl was in the hallway, looking confused and pissed.

"Oh my God, did you dump her?" Glenn asked.

"Fuck no I didn't dump her! I'm standin' out here fuckin' wonderin' if she goddamn dumped me!"

Daryl stomped off down the hallway. The next person he ran into was Vicky. She looked rough and it may have been wrong but it made him feel kinda good.

"How could you let her do that?" Vicky demanded, hands on her hips.

Daryl lost his temper.

"I'm surprised she didn't do more. If she woulda stomped your ass I wouldn't have stepped in! What the hell woman? I save your goddamn life and you destroy mine? Songbird is my girl! I don't know what the hell you thought you were doin', but you had no fuckin' business treatin' her…or me…like that! Me and her had somethin' good goin' and if you ruined it I swear to God I'll feed you to a fuckin' Walker myself!"

"Tell her how you really feel," Lucky said dryly.

"I _feel_ like goin' huntin'," Daryl snarled. "Turkey huntin' and I want you to go too; then maybe someone can explain what the fuck just happened to the only good part of my whole damn life!"


	34. Chapter 32

Daryl yanked Lucky down the hall and up to the cabin.

"Maybe I should…" she started looking back over her shoulder.

"I ain't stayin' here another minute," he interrupted, throwing her over his shoulder and heading out the door. He wanted to hunt; he needed to talk to her, and he didn't want Rick to come along! He knew he was on the edge of losing his temper in a serious way and he figured this was the best way to get all of what he wanted with a minimum of conversation.

He didn't want to kill Vicky…at least he knew he'd regret it after the fact. He plunked Lucky into the passenger seat and they left the compound.

He drove in silence for some time, trying to calm down, but he still couldn't figure out what the fuck he'd done to upset Songbird that much.

"Umm, why don't you pull in there," Lucky suggested after a while, pointing to a clearing.

"Yeah, okay," Daryl pulled in and cut the headlights, then cut the engine too. He left the radio on out of habit, even though there was nothing but static on the airwaves. "I know we're not gonna find anything right now," he admitted. "I had to get outta there though."

"I get it," Lucky replied. "So why are we out here picturing Vicky's face on things that we want to shoot?"

Daryl gave a brief laugh and said, "I honestly don't know what the hell happened. You know Songbird punched Vicky in the face right?"

"Good for her," Lucky grinned. "I didn't know. But that bitch had it coming, the way she's been hanging all over you right in front of Songbird and everything. I'm kinda surprised it took this long actually."

"Well, I guess I gotta tell you the whole story and then maybe you can tell me what went wrong," Daryl said.

He gave her the run down and finished up with, "So? What the fuck?"

"You really didn't know that Vicky liked you like that?" Lucky looked disbelieving.

"I really, really, didn't! Women like that…and men like me…it just never happens!" Daryl informed her.

"What do you mean by men like you?" Lucky asked. "And what do you mean by women like her? I mean I'd be glad if bitches with their panties in a constant wad would stay the fuck away from me, you know?"

"Men like me…uh…you know…poor I guess. And not…uh…you know…classy or whatever the fuck you call it. And women like her…I like your description. And it ain't like I got a problem with her not wantin' me. I sure as fuck don't want her. It's just that Songbird told me that Vicky was comin' on to me and I told her it wouldn't ever happen. Now I feel like a dumbass. And she…fuckin' hell, Lucky! She cried! And now she won't talk to me and I don't know why!" Daryl banged his fist on the steering wheel in frustration.

"Fucking women," Lucky sighed. "This is exactly why I didn't have any chick friends growing up."

"Well, my ex used to do that shit too. But this time I actually think I mighta done somethin' wrong so I care about fixin' it. What do you think it could have been?"

"Well, the only thing I can think of is that Songbird feels Vicky might be right," Lucky said after a moment of thought.

"Right about what?" Daryl asked.

"Well, she's sensitive," Lucky began slowly. "And you said you didn't listen to her at first…"

"Yeah, but she didn't seem all that mad about it then. She just said okay and then we had sex. So I don't think she was mad at me."

"I think women tend to wait until those complaints come to fruition before using them against you. She could have been hoping she was wrong herself or that you would react differently."

Daryl sighed.

"I don't know. She's usually not the type to…well, I guess she sorta is the type to hide stuff. But usually not stuff like this. She always tells me how she feels. Why does she think all of a sudden that I'm stringin' her along?"

"Like I said, she's sensitive. You have to let her know you love her every half hour or she gets…well, like this," Lucky said.

Daryl started to reply, but then his mouth dropped open as realization hit him.

"Fuckin' hell! I never told her that I loved her!"

"What the fuckin' hell Daryl?" Lucky punched his arm. "No wonder she's upset! This is an apocalypse! You could die at any time! Or she could! This is not a time for testosterone related forgetfulness!"

Daryl rubbed his arm absently; the punch had stung. He couldn't believe that he'd never told her he loved her. What the hell was wrong with him?

"So what should I do?" he asked awkwardly. "Because I do…uh…love her. How should I fix it?"

"You should maybe start by telling her that. And make up for all the times that you forgot somehow, I'll let you figure that out yourself," Lucky spoke slowly as if it should have been obvious. "Because she has gone out of her way to find ways to tell you."

"Yeah, but I have to do somethin' to get her attention. Somethin' big and impressive. Somethin' she'll really like, so she don't just walk away from me like she's been doin' ever since this happened."

"You should know what she likes better than anyone," Lucky replied.

"She likes to sing. I can't sing." Daryl frowned.

"She likes music in general. There are a lot of things you can do with music. Find something you think she'll like and go from there." As Lucky spoke she dug through the CDs in his glove box and put one, a mix of country songs, into the CD player.

"Yeah. I could ask her to dance…if I knew how to dance," Daryl frowned again.

They sat in silence, each lost in their own thoughts until the sun began to rise.

"I think I saw something moving over there," Lucky gestured to the left and they got out of the truck quietly.

Daryl and Lucky walked to the edge of the woods where there were about a dozen turkeys and a flock of pheasants milling around. Daryl immediately set his sights on the biggest tom turkey as Lucky moved slightly away, headed for the other side of the group of birds. He figured she would bring down one or two of her own.

He aimed carefully and shot, nailing the turkey and watching it fall. God that was a beautiful shot! He whooped enthusiastically, which would have been a mistake, except that it sent the flock scurrying in Lucky's direction. She made several neat shots of her own, taking down another turkey and three pheasants. Her aim was really good, and her bow was faster. Daryl gave her a thumbs up as he picked up his turkey. He estimated it to be about 20 pounds, which was way better than the one he and Merle had cooked last year.

"Want some help carryin' that?" Daryl asked, when noticed Lucky looking at all the fowl at her feet.

She nodded and pointed to the turkey, so he picked it up.

"Hey look! Mistletoe!" Lucky said suddenly, pointing to the branches over their heads.

"Well, what do you know?" Daryl considered it a sign. "Songbird asked me to find some for her." He put the turkeys back onto the ground and pulled his knife, cutting several sprigs down and putting them into his pocket.

They both glanced up at the sprigs he'd left in the trees and then he looked down at her just as she looked up at him. When her face went beet red, he realized exactly where they were both standing. Well this might be the most awkward moment of his life. He did what he always did in awkward moments. He turned and walked away, only taking time to snag the dead turkeys. To his relief Lucky did the same with the pheasants and they loaded the truck in silence.

"I know what I'm gonna do," Daryl said. "And I need your theater room to do it…if you don't care?" he asked.

"That's cool," Lucky answered. "I don't care."

"And…uh…I need to do me one more favor…could you get her there at 9 since she won't talk to me?"

"I suppose I can do that," Lucky replied.

"Thanks," Daryl muttered awkwardly. "I appreciate it."

Songbird walked into Lucky's theater room, wondering what was so urgent. She wouldn't have come out of the room at all if Lucky hadn't sounded desperate. She stopped in her tracks when she saw that the theater seats had been put away and the dance floor cover put back on the floor. What was Lucky planning? The stage light came on suddenly and she heard a mutter of, "Fuckin' finally found the damn thing. Oh. You're here."

"Daryl," she said flatly.

"Yeah. Uh…" he bit his thumbnail, which muffled his voice to some extent. "I think I figured it out. Why you're mad at me. And if I'm right about what it is…then I'm sorry."

"Are you?"

"Well, I think so. See…I uh…fuck. Okay. I had this cd in my truck and I know how you are about music. But I don't sing, so uh, don't get your hopes up. I guess what I'm sayin' is…can I have this dance?"

The music started and Songbird nodded. Daryl stepped down and pulled her into his arms as lyrics joined the music. It wasn't a song she recognized at first, and she couldn't really figure out what it had to do with anything until the second verse.

_"We're gonna do what lovers do_

_ We're gonna have a fight or two_

_ But I ain't ever changin' my mind."_

The chorus was even better.

_"Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?_

_ I wouldn't dream of goin' nowhere._

_ Silly woman, come here let me hold you_

_ Have I told you lately, I love you like crazy girl."_

She threw her arms around him and they danced…or rather they swayed, but still, it might have been the most beautiful moment of Songbird's life.

"I shoulda told you before," he said. "God, I figured I'd lost you…"

"What were you going to do?" she asked.

"I was gonna start with tying Vicky to a tree and lettin' the Walkers have her," Daryl answered, only half kidding. "Then I probably just woulda hassled you till you gave in."

"You still haven't actually said it," Songbird informed him, looking up at him with a smile.

"Oh. Right. Okay. Well…" he cupped her face in his hands and said, "I love you Songbird."

"I love you too," she whispered, as the song ended.

"Want another song?" he asked.

"Nah," she answered to his surprise. "I want to go to bed."

"Really?"

"Really. I hated sleeping in the guys room and I've missed you so much!" she answered.

"I missed you too," he told her. "But darlin', from now on could you just tell me why you're mad at me? I had to kidnap your friend to get information…"

"Kidnap?" she asked with a smile.

"Yeah. We got two turkeys and some pheasants though. And this," he dug around in his pocket and pulled out the, now a little crumpled, mistletoe.

"You found it!"

Daryl dangled the mistletoe over her red gold hair and she stretched up to kiss him, wrapping her arms around him as his mouth slanted over hers, taking the kiss deeper as he pulled her closer.

"We'll put it up tomorrow," he told her, tugging her out of the room.

She laughed and jumped up onto his back, piggyback riding him down the hall, making him laugh too, relieved beyond words that he hadn't lost her. The trip up the hallway took too long and the minute the door was closed and Songbird let him go, he turned around, pushing her against the door.

She moaned in pleasure when he kissed her again, gripping the back of her neck and holding her body firmly against the door with his.

"Promise me somethin'," he said, sliding his hands under her sweater, breaking their kiss only long enough to pull it over her head.

"What?" she asked, unbuttoning his flannel shirt and running her palms over his broad shoulders and down his chest.

"Don't leave me okay?" he knew it sounded desperate, but he didn't really care. Lucky was right. It was a fuckin' apocalypse. If now wasn't the time to tell people how you really felt then that time didn't exist.

"What?"

"Don't leave me. Even if I piss you off…just tell me; I'll fix it. I'll always fix it. Just don't ever do that to me again."

She wondered if he knew how rough his tone had gotten or how tightly he was gripping her body. She was naked by now and his jeans were unbuttoned; he'd picked her up and he was holding her close.

"Daryl I'm so sorry," she said honestly. "I should have talked to you…"

"Yeah, well…I shoulda told you I loved you. It's not like I just started or anything."

"Speaking of starting stuff…" she wriggled her hips.

He started to oblige, then he remembered something. "Ah hell…hang on."

Daryl kept her where she was and grabbed his wallet, "See this is why condoms suck…"

Songbird bit his earlobe and said, "Better than the alternative right?"

"Mostly," Daryl acknowledged, pushing inside her and hitting a steady pace.

"You really love me?" she gasped after a few moments.

"I really love you," he answered, pressing his lips to her neck and breathing in the smell of her hair. "You still love me?"

"Forever," Songbird answered. "I'll love you forever."

About an hour later they lay on their bed. Daryl sighed in pure contentment.

"Night darlin'," he said.

The silence that was met with told him she was already asleep. He glanced down at her, the low light they slept with made her hair fire red and she was curled up against him, sleeping peacefully her cheeks still flushed from the pleasure he'd given her. He brushed one callused finger down her smooth cheek.

"Love you," he whispered. Maybe the more he said it, the easier it would be for him to remember that she needed to hear it.

They didn't do much Christmas Eve; Songbird read A Christmas Carol that night, supposedly to Sophia and Carl, but T-dog, Carol, Andrea, Dale, Lori, Shane, and Daryl all listened in. Freddy had made hot chocolate, and to Songbird's delight, he'd made peppermint hot chocolate as well. The fireplace was going and Daryl actually felt a good amount of Christmas cheer and a shiver of anticipation for what the morning would bring.

Songbird was awake really early Christmas morning, but she didn't want to be the first out of the room, so she waited impatiently, lying beside Daryl and trying not to wake him up. Then she realized that she couldn't give him his present in front of the group, and she might as well do it now in case Rick or Lucky said anything later.

"Daryl," she whispered.

He grumbled in his sleep and shifted, but he didn't really wake up.

"Daryl!"

"What?" he squinted at her. He had no idea what time it was, but he knew it was early.

"I wanted to give you your present," she said softly.

"Right now?"

"I didn't want to do it in front of everyone and once you see what it is, you'll appreciate that," she told him.

"I need coffee," he grunted.

"Okay! I'll go make coffee and hot chocolate and I'll be stealthy and I won't wake anyone up! And…"

"Go," Daryl groaned. "I love you but…go okay? Too much cheer. Too much."

She laughed and did as he asked.

He stretched and got up to go pee and brush his teeth; he contemplated showering, but his mind was finally waking up enough to know that it wouldn't be a good idea to make that much noise. Once the kids were up there'd be no goin back for any of them. He went back and sat on one of the lower bunks, rubbing his face and trying to look more awake.

The coffee Songbird handed him a few minutes later helped. He sipped and said, "All right darlin'. What is it?"

She handed him a plain folder. He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Open it," she prompted. "You're _really_ not a morning person are you?"

"No," he began, flipping open the folder. "I'm really not…damn."

It wasn't what he'd expected, that was for sure. It was Songbird, dressed in skintight camo pants and a flak jacket. The jacket was open. She wasn't wearing a shirt. She was staring straight at the camera with a slight smile, her dark eyes sultry. One hand was holding the jacket lightly together at the bottom; the other hand was on the back of her neck.

"Darlin' when did you…" he began, but he forgot the question as he flipped to the next picture.

In it, she was dressed as a biker, in heavy boots, leather pants and leather jacket, again no shirt. This time the jacket was halfway down her arms, leaving her breasts only barely covered due to her crossed arms. She wasn't smiling in this one; she was looking at the camera with one eyebrow cocked and a cynical expression and he was surprised to find her a very believable biker chick.

"Sexy," he commented.

She resisted the impulse to squeal over that. It was so nice to be described as something other than cute!

There was a picture of her in a corset, lying on Lucky's bed. The picture had been taken from above, so she was looking up into the camera with the same flirty grin she flashed him daily. The corset was so sexy his mouth went dry; he loved stuff with complicated laces and details…getting her out of that would be a challenge that he would welcome.

The next picture showed her as a mechanic in coveralls and grease down one cheek. The coveralls weren't living up to their name, not that Daryl gave a shit. She hadn't buckled the shoulder straps, and the top part, the part that should have covered her chest, was folded, hanging at her slender waist. She had a huge wrench in her hand, resting it on her shoulder, the other hand on her hip. Her chin was tilted and her hair flowed down her back, giving him an unobstructed view of her firm breasts.

"Damn," he said again, he couldn't seem to think of anything else to say.

When he flipped that picture over to see the next one, he actually felt his mouth drop open.

"Ummm I borrowed Mary Jane," she admitted. "I hope you don't mind."

"She ain't never been put to better use," he informed her.

In the photo, Songbird was wearing the fatigue pants and combat boots again, and nothing else. She had her back to the camera and Mary Jane was slung over her shoulder. She was looking over her shoulder with that sexy half smile. He admired the length of her legs and the smooth, lean lines of her back. She mighta been skinny, but she had some muscle on her, sleek muscle, like an athlete.

It was awhile before he turned that photo over. The next one was her and Mary Jane as well, but she was totally naked in it. She held the bow in front of her, aiming at the camera with a wink.

She blushed when Daryl glanced at her with a grin and said, "Nice."

"There's more," was all she said.

He wondered if his heart could take it. The others were full nudes, no props. Well…in one of them she had her knife sheaths strapped to her legs and wrists…that was fuckin' hot. But other than that the rest were just her, sitting, standing and lying down…totally naked. He swallowed hard, trying to think of something to say. He figured he'd have to manage a sentence or two before he could rip her clothes off and fuck her.

The last picture helped. It was her in the camo outfit. She was looking back over her shoulder but she was laughing. Really laughing. He smiled.

"That's not supposed to be in there," Songbird said in embarrassment. "I meant to take it out…"

"I like it," Daryl answered. "I'm glad you kept it."

"So?" Songbird twisted her fingers together nervously. "What do you think? Is it a good present?"

Daryl stood up and laid the folder carefully on the bunk. Then he grabbed her and dropped her lightly to the floor, covering her body with his.

"I like it," he answered, before his took her mouth. "A lot actually. You're kinda dirty underneath that innocent front…I guess that's the Catholic comin' through huh?"

She laughed and nodded as she said, "I guess so. I should have taken some in my plaid skirt shouldn't I?"

"I don't know how many more I coulda handled," he said honestly.

They were kissing again when they heard a knock at their door.

"IT'S CHRISTMAS!" Sophia and Carl shouted in unison.

She scrambled up; Daryl drank the rest of his coffee even though it was barely lukewarm, and they went out to face Christmas morning.

Once everyone was gathered around the tree, Daryl was surprised to see how many packages there were. People must have been sneaking out to put them there overnight all night; he'd done that himself with Songbird's gifts. Lucky had refused to help him wrap them so they were the roughest looking ones. He shrugged; so he wasn't domestic like Freddy. He was a man damn it!

Wrapping paper flew and Sophia squealed over her books; Carol gave Lucky a thankful smile over the girl's head.

"You want your stuff?" Daryl asked impatiently.

"In a minute," Songbird answered. "I want to watch everyone else."

Carl looked happy about his comic books, and Lori, Rick, and Shane all received small handmade presents back from Carl. Sophia had done the same, writing short stories as gifts, one for her mom and, to Songbird's surprise, one for her as well. Songbird had made a flower crown for Sophia and added long lengths of ribbon to the back of it.

"Bella principessa," Songbird declared when Sophia put it on.

"What does that mean?" Carl asked from across the room.

"Beautiful princess," Songbird answered with a smile. "And I've got something for you too."

She handed Carl the gift she'd made him; a notebook of plain paper she'd covered in fabric and painted his name on.

"You could draw a comic," she said. "Or whatever else you want."

"Thanks!" he seemed really happy with the gift and she breathed a sigh of relief. She'd seen Carl doodling things, but she hadn't been sure he'd consider paper Christmas worthy.

He stepped back over a moment later and handed Songbird a present as he gave her a shy smile.

She pulled the paper off and tried not to look confused. It was a tin can with holes in it. The can was extremely shiny…but she didn't really get it.

"You put a candle in it," Carl explained. "And the light shines through the holes. I thought you might want it for your room."

"I love luminaries!" Songbird reassured him. "Thank you Carl!"

He gave her a hug and went back over to Rick. She looked at Daryl though one of the holes in the can and grinned. He smiled back and then said, "Okay, open what I got you. You're makin' me nervous!"

She laughed and reached for the presents. The paper wasn't really folded around the contents so much as crumpled and taped until it had given up the fight. She smiled again.

"Bigger one first," he decreed.

She switched, dropping the smaller one into her lap and ripping the red and white paper off the larger present. A leather bound complete unabridged copy of Shakespeare's works showed up when the tape and paper fell away.

"Oh Daryl…" she breathed out, opening the book carefully and flipping through the pages…12th Night, The Taming of the Shrew, Macbeth, Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, and all the sonnets.

On the inside cover, he'd written her name and the date and a note that said, "Just in case you ever run out of stories of your own. I love you. Daryl."

"Where did you…" she began.

"Bookstore on the way back from Area 3," he answered. "I was thinkin' about what to get you for Christmas and this seemed like somethin' you'd like. I wish I could take you back, but…"

"No," she answered, kissing his cheek. "This is exactly what I would have wanted. And it means so much more coming from you."

"Open the other one," Daryl said when she seemed in danger of losing herself in the book. "You can read all the Shakespeare you want tonight, I promise."

"All right," she agreed. She knew he was right; if she read any longer, she'd miss Christmas. She picked up the smaller box and shook it experimentally. Daryl grinned at her and gave her a "hurry up" gesture. She pulled the paper off and opened the top of the box. Her mouth fell open.

"Oh my god!"

A silver and sapphire cross sparkled up at her and she lifted it out of the box gently.

"Put it on," he said.

She did and he was relieved that she didn't need help; he sucked at stuff like that. Her fingers traced the intricate cross as she looked at him.

"It's beautiful," she whispered before giving him a kiss.

"I'm glad you like it," he told her. "Looks good on you. Those," he touched one of the sapphires, "match your eyes."

She leaned against him and they watched the rest of the group chatting and admiring one another's presents. Lucky came over a few moments later and dropped a photo album into Songbird's lap.

"These are for your history project," Lucky said.

Songbird jumped to her feet and threw her arms around Lucky.

"I can't believe you remembered!"

""Like you would let anybody forget about it," Lucky smirked.

"And this is for you!" Songbird gave her the notebook she'd covered in fabric and written her name across in glitter. Because who doesn't like glitter? "I don't know if you like to draw or write…but here is the paper to do it with!"

Lucky gave her a hug and said thanks, before walking over to Freddy and exchanging gifts with him.

The group finally broke up when Carl asked if they could go see if it was snowing. Songbird saw Rick hand Lucky a small box and she looked up at Daryl with raised eyebrows. He looked sort of surprised, so she figured Rick hadn't told him anything about it. It was a ring. Songbird didn't say anything, but she made plans to grill Lucky about it later and admire the ring; she was too far away to get a good look at it.

"Look at this mess!" Freddy said crossing his arms and shaking his head.

"I know! Covering all this beauty we created," Songbird stood up too.

Daryl tried not to laugh; something was seriously wrong with Freddy.

"I mean, would it have been so hard for people to throw away their own trash?" Freddy continued. "Or to take off the wrapping slowly? We could have used it next year… or made ornaments or cards…"

"You know what Freddy? I think you are the one following a little too closely in our fathers' footsteps," Lucky said casually as she started picking up paper.

"At least I'm not the one kissing girls!" From the look on his face Daryl could tell that hadn't been exactly what Freddy meant to say, which made it even funnier. "I mean guys! I'm not kissing guys!" Songbird felt horrified, but there wasn't anything she could do to stop Freddy now. "You kissed a girl and I don't like it!" He finished pointing at sister dramatically.

"You did what?" Rick sounded shocked.

Lucky didn't say anything, but Songbird couldn't stay silent.

"It didn't mean anything! It was just art!"

Daryl started to ask what the fuck she was talking about when Freddy went on, "If it was just art, why did you feel the need to tell me how much better her kiss was than mine?"

What the fuck? When the hell had that happened?

"Lemme see if I can process this," Daryl said. "Both of you kissed my girl…for _art_?"

"I didn't kiss her for art," Freddy replied frimly.

The what the hell did he kiss her for? And why hadn't she told him? "I…you…I don't know how to feel about this!"

"I'm so so sorry!" Songbird wailed. "I just didn't know what to get you for Christmas!"

"Wait," Rick stood. "Why didn't _I_ get _those_ pictures this morning?"

"You're a police officer! We need to report a theft!" Songbird was hopeful.

"Wait." Daryl spun her back to face him, deciding to deal with the whole "kissing Freddy" thing later. He couldn't for the life of him figure out what that had to do with Christmas. "They're gone? As in missing?"

"I had to pee!" Lucky shouted. "I can't be everywhere at once can I?"

"No you could have burned them like I said!" Songbird replied, in irritation. "I told you to burn them!"

"No!" Daryl, Rick and Glenn all replied in firm unision.

"They are _art_ and I am standing by my decision," Lucky said dryly. "And it seems every man here will back me up."

"So the two of you cheated on your boyfriends and… took pictures of it?" Vicky questioned from the couch.

Songbird blushed. As if Vicky didn't think she was crazy enough already!

Freddy pinched the bridge of his nose. "You don't understand anything! If it weren't my sister, I would feel differently about these pictures."

"How differently?" Daryl questioned.

Freddy only shrugged.

"So, there are pictures of the two of you. Naked. Doing, what we can only assume, is something wonderful. And they are somewhere in this house?" Rick's police officer voice calmed Songbird's nerves a little. It seemed Officer Grimes was on the case.

"No, somebody took them, that's a lot different than them just 'being somewhere'," Lucky stressed.

"Sounds like it's time for a search and seizure here, Officer Grimes." Daryl informed Rick. He couldn't believe that someone in this compound had pictures like that of his girl!

"Hey, you guys can't just go through other people's things!" Glenn bleated in protest. "There has to be proper cause, or whatever you call it."

Daryl, and everyone else, leveled a stare on young Glenn.

"You were out in the hall that day!" Songbird blurted out.

Daryl walked slowly over to the kid and leaned down, getting in his space and just staring at him for a second or two. Glenn tried to disappear into the cushions of the chair he was sitting in, wondering if there was a quick escape anywhere.

"You know anything about this?" Daryl reached out and gripped the front of Glenn's shirt, pulling him a little closer and never looking away.

"I… I… look you can't really blame me can you?" Glenn finally sputtered out.

"You found pictures of my Lucy and you thought you would just…" Rick's voice, sounding seriously pissed, came from behind Daryl. Glenn closed his eyes.

"Woah!" Freddy said evenly, "Like he said, can you blame him?"

"Go. Get . 'Em." Daryl ordered, pleased when Glenn practically ran out of the room.

"Oh my God!" Songbird was on the verge of tears. Now Glenn had seen her naked! And doing stuff…stuff that no one should have seen…except Daryl. And Rick. She covered her face with her hands and Lucky put her arms around her, patting her hair and saying, "It's okay. Songbird, it's really okay."

"Ugh! Will you all stop that? We did it for you!" Lucky snapped a few moments later when she realized every eye was on the two of them hugging.

"Why does all the good stuff happen when I'm not in the room?" Glenn complained when he came back and saw the girls embracing in the corner.

"Sounds like you've had plenty of good stuff happening lately," Rick yanked the folder from Glenn's hand.

Daryl cuffed Glenn across the back of the head and then, grabbing the front of the kids shirt again, he stared at him silently for several long minutes. When Glenn started to sweat, he let him go. Glenn, aware that he'd gotten off ridiculously easy, left the room again as quickly as possible and before Daryl figured out exactly what was in the folder.

Rick held the folder almost reverently for a few moments and then grabbed Daryl's arm and pulled him out of the room. Lucky bolted after them and Songbird followed too.

They went to Lucky's room and Songbird made sure to look the door, before going and standing, really more like hiding, behind Daryl. When Rick opened the folder, his jaw dropped.

"Well?" Daryl asked after a moment. "Don't keep it all to yourself!" Rick still didn't move, so Daryl grabbed the folder. "Good God!"

"What do you think?" Songbird asked from her place behind him, her face hidden against his shoulder.

"I think this should be my Christmas present," Daryl answered.

"But I already gave you your Christmas present," Songbird replied, liking the awed tone of his voice.

"Then this is the rest of my Christmas present," Daryl stated.

"Which one do you like better?" Lucky asked.

"There's more?" Daryl and Rick asked at the same time. Rick tried to snag the folder, Daryl held on to it, and they sort of scuffled for a second or two before Rick deftly reached out and grabbed the second photo. Daryl looked at it over Rick's shoulder. They didn't need to discuss who got which photo; after a long moment, Rick handed Daryl the one of Lucky and Songbird kissing, because much more of Songbird showed in it.

"Thank you, sir," Daryl said, politely. "I'm gonna go put this somewhere I know that sneaky Chinese kid can't find it."

"But he's Korean, Daryl," Songbird reminded him.

Daryl shook his head and pulled her out of the room.

"Are you mad?" she asked.

"What?"

"Are you mad at me?" she asked in a small voice.

"Oh fuck no," he answered. "I am," he raised his voice when he went past the guy's room, "A little bit _pissed at the china man_!"

"Sorry!" Glenn called.

"But not you," Daryl went on, opening their bedroom door.

"I can't go in there," Songbird said, standing her ground. "I promised to cook and I've got to start getting stuff together…"

"You can't show me somethin' like this and then go cook!" Daryl stared at her in disbelief.

"I made a promise, and I'm keeping my word," Songbird grinned and kissed him. "Besides, I've got one more thing planned for tonight."

He made a grab for her, but she stepped back with another smile as she said, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder!"

"It ain't my heart that's gonna be hurtin'!" Daryl called after her.

She laughed but she didn't turn around, so he hid the picture with the others and headed back for the living room. She spent the rest of the day helping the other women cook, and by the time the meal was prepared she was tired, and really proud to have helped create such a feast.

There was the turkey and stuffing of course, and hash brown casserole, mashed potatoes, green beans, macaroni and cheese, and homemade cranberry sauce. There were also two pies, that Lucky had made that morning.

"I'm glad there are two pies," Songbird remarked. "I missed out last time."

"Missed out on what?" Shane asked a little too innocently.

"Lucky's pie," Songbird replied naively.

Glenn snorted with laughter

"I'm watchin' you," Daryl growled pointing at him, even though everyone could see that he was desperate to laugh as well.

Songbird's face went beet red, but she smiled and shrugged good naturedly after a moment. Daryl put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. They passed a bottle of wine around and Songbird looked at Daryl for permission.

"Go ahead," he said, "But you won't like it."

She sipped and made a face. He picked up the glass and tossed the rest back, not what you're supposed to do with wine, but why anyone wanted to drink something that tasted like rotten grapes was beyond him anyway, and poured her some Pepsi.

The meal lasted a while, and Daryl was surprised at how much he enjoyed it. People were chatting and laughing; the kids were still excited about the white Christmas they were having and honestly, he was pretty damn excited about that himself. The food was good; the wine, even though he didn't like the taste, had warmed him on the inside, and Songbird was happy. Apparently that was all it really took to make him feel good too.

After dinner he took her outside and just enjoyed the muffled silence of a snow covered Christmas. And some kisses. He'd only meant to kiss her once, when a snowflake had fallen right on her lower lip, but once he'd gotten started he didn't want to stop. She didn't seem to mind and he liked the way she gasped his name into the still air.

"Have a good Christmas?" he asked.

She shivered when his warm breath met her cold ear.

"Yeah," she answered. "You?"

"Pretty good," he answered. "There's just one more thing I'm hopin' for."

"What's that?" she asked.

"This," he reached down and cupped his hand between her legs.

"Ready for bed then?" she asked.

"Hell yeah darlin'," he answered. "Pretty much since I woke up."

"All right," Songbird took his hand and they walked into the compound. "I just have to get a shower and change."

"I ain't gonna be done with you for a while," Daryl protested. "What the hell you need to change clothes for?"

"Trust me," she replied, stopping his answer by pressing her lips to his and running her fingers through his hair. "Please? I told you I had one more present…"

"Okay," he was easily convinced, because he kind of thought he knew what it might be.

Songbird showered quickly and shaved, then dealt with the inconvenience of getting into a corset without the benefit of a lady in waiting, dried her hair and ran back across the hall, locking the door behind her. She wasn't surprised to find Daryl looking at the pictures again. She leaned against the door and tilted her head at him.

"I was hopin' for that," Daryl admitted, standing up. "That is a sexy, sexy, outfit."

"You like it the best?" she asked as he walked over to her.

"I just might," he answered. "It's hard to pick a favorite…but this one's definitely in the top five."

"There were only 5 outfits," Songbird said.

"Exactly," Daryl picked her up and carried her to the bed, letting her climb the ladder; he smacked her ass as she was on the way up and she squealed.

He grabbed her arms, stretching them over her head and holding her wrists firmly to the mattress as he kissed her.

"Where'd you get this thing?" he asked, groaning as she arched against him, rubbing her pussy against his already hard cock.

"Looting at the mall that time," she answered, trying to work free of his grip so that she could touch him.

"That far back?" he asked, pressing down against her, making her gasp.

"Yeah."

"Were you plannin' on wearin' it for me back then?"

"Hoping I'd get to wear it for you," she corrected. "You're the only one I ever wanted."

"You really kissed Freddy?" he was shocked to find that he wasn't mad about it. He was really more curious as to how and when it happened.

"At the karaoke party," she admitted. "Not for long…neither one of us was really that into it, so it wasn't that good."

"Nothin' like this?" Daryl lowered his head, teasing her tongue before drawing her lower lip between his teeth and biting it lightly.

"No," she gasped. "Nothing like that!"

When he'd teased enough to pay her back for making him suffer all day, he knelt between her legs and began unlacing the corset, touching or kissing each inch of skin he uncovered. It took a while to get her out of the thing, which he discovered he really liked. Anticipation was a lot hotter than he'd ever given it credit for.

He could tell it affected her too, when he lowered his head and sucked her nipple into his mouth her whole body jerked and when he drew back she whimpered with disappointment. The next kiss, which he pressed to her belly, had her arching her hips and reaching for his jeans.

"Not yet," he said. "Hands on the mattress."

She blew out her breath in impatience and then gasped as he nipped her stomach lightly, saying, "Be good darlin'."

"I'll try," was all she would commit to.

Her hands ached from her grip on their sheets before she was undressed and he consented to remove his jeans. She sat up and wrapped her hand around him, feeling his breath go out in a 'whoosh' against her hair. He gripped her hips after a moment, allowing her to straddle him after a brief second to find a condom and put it on.

Once he was finally inside her, Songbird was so turned on that she came almost instantly. Daryl hadn't expected it, so he only managed to get his hand over her mouth in time to cut off the end of her scream. Oh well. He took her over a few more times, and then, when he felt her nails dig into his shoulders as she kissed him, he joined her.

"Mmmm," she moaned when he collapsed beside her. "Merry Christmas Daryl."

"Merry Christmas, Songbird. Love you."

"Love you back."


	35. Chapter 33

"So…" Daryl said, unsure how to approach what he wanted to ask her. It had been a while since he had the conversation with Rick, since it was now mid-January…but he'd never found a good time to broach the subject.

"What is it?" Songbird put her brush down and looked at Daryl, wondering why he looked nervous.

"I was thinkin'," he said. "Actually, I was talkin'…I was talkin' to Rick and well…you know those condoms aren't gonna last forever, even if you did loot the entire gas station."

"And you looted the entire Walgreens…but yeah," she sighed and said, "You're not going to suggest doing without are you? Because that is a sacrifice I am not prepared to make."

"No," he agreed, deciding to just get it the fuck over with. "I was…Rick said…Lucky…shit."

He ran his hand through his hair, making it stand up in unruly spikes all over his head. Songbird tilted her head, looking at him with concern.

"How you feel about takin' it in the ass?" he blurted out, wincing when he saw her eyes widen. Maybe there was a better way to put that.

She stared at him with her mouth hanging open for a minute, and realized with a sinking heart that he was totally serious. She couldn't tell him no; she could never tell Daryl no.

He watched her face carefully as the silence stretched, "Darlin' you don't have to…" he said hurriedly, desperate to fill the void of conversation.

"No," Songbird forced a smile and said. "Sure Daryl! It makes sense…"

"Really?"

And damn it, that sealed the deal for her. He looked so relieved and pretty eager.

"Sure!" she said again, forcing enthusiasm into her voice and wondering if there was any of Rooster's Scotch left.

Daryl crossed the room and pulled her into his arms, kissing her until she moaned into his mouth and then laying her down on one of the lower bunks. They undressed each other and Songbird's nerves disappeared as Daryl took control of her body the way he always did when they had sex. She didn't know how he managed it, but she was helpless to deny him the things he wanted; when he wanted to turn her on, a kiss or the smallest brush of his fingers accompanied by one of those intense, consuming looks did the job, making her instantly wet. When he wanted her to cum all he had to do was say it in his rough way and her body would clench around his. So surely…she could do this too.

Once she was naked and returning his kisses desperately, he pulled her up, putting her on her knees and getting behind her so that they were both kneeling on the bed, her back against his chest. He moved one hand up, wrapping it around her slender throat and pulling her head back to rest on his shoulder, as he moved the other hand down, over her flat stomach and down to her already wet pussy. She felt him push his fingers into her, pulsing them in a quick rhythm and increasing the pressure on her neck until she gasped and came. Then, even though she felt shaky, he pushed her to another orgasm before letting her go, repositioning her so that she was on her hands and knees, remaining behind her. She moaned again, this time in disappointment, when he removed his fingers; glancing back over her shoulder, she saw him using the moisture to lubricate his cock. She bit her lip, wanting him.

"Will you put it in me?" she asked. "Just for minute?"

Damn, he didn't want to say no. "Darlin'…" he began. "If I was gonna do that, I'd have to put a condom on, and then we might as well not do this at all."

"Okay," she said, disappointed.

Daryl bit his lower lip as he gripped her hip with one hand and moved forward.

"Don't get tense," he said, taking a deep breath. He'd never done this either and he had no idea how it was going to feel.

Songbird faced forward again and breathed out slowly, letting her hair fall in a curtain around her face, making a conscious effort to relax. He pushed forward, grunting slightly in surprise at the unbelievable tightness.

"God damn," he breathed out, pulling back and thrusting a bit deeper each time.

It was NOTHING like regular sex; which was damn awesome with her, it was…he groaned again as he finally worked his way in to the hilt. It felt really different but he was no mood to analyze why. He moved a bit faster, looking down, watching his cock push into her ass.

"You okay?" he asked after a few minutes.

He saw her nod and continued what he was doing; it was sort of fascinating to watch himself like that. And it was undeniably sexy to know that he was fucking her ass. It was generally forbidden fruit, something most girls wouldn't do for their men. He ran his hand down her back, noticing the white knuckle grip she had on the blankets.

"Songbird?" he questioned.

She nodded again and gasped, "I'm good."

"Not gonna last much longer," he admitted, already feeling his stomach muscles jerk.

"That's okay."

It didn't take long and even the orgasm felt different. It must have had something to do with how different it had felt the whole time. And the awesomeness of no condom certainly played a large part as well. He pulled out when he finished and gave her a playful smack on the ass. He didn't worry until a second later when she still hadn't moved. He'd expected her to turn around, to cuddle up against him the way she always did when they fucked. Weirdly enough that had become one of his favorite parts of doing her.

"Songbird?" he asked.

"What?"

He leaned around; her hair was still curtaining her face but to his shock there were huge tear stains on the blanket and even the ends of her hair were wet.

"Fuckin' hell!" Daryl exclaimed. "Were you crying the whole time?"

"No," she lied, biting her lip so hard she tasted blood. "Shouldn't you go take a shower or something?"

"Darlin' I ain't goin' nowhere till you look at me," he said firmly.

"Jesus Daryl!" Songbird exploded. "You just shoved your cock up my ass; I'd think that would be enough for one goddamn day. Just leave me the fuck alone!"

She then ruined any attempt at bad-assery by bursting into sobs the minute she finished the sentence. Daryl sat there with his mouth hanging open. That was more profanity than he'd ever heard her use. He didn't like it.

"Don't talk like that," he said inanely.

"What? You don't like it when your sweet little girl uses profanity?" she questioned, still crying and still refusing to look at him.

"No, I don't," Daryl answered seriously. "I…damn it, darlin' why didn't you tell me it hurt?"

He reached out and brushed her hair back over her shoulder so he could see her face. Tears were streaming freely down her cheeks, dripping off her pointed chin and making bigger and bigger wet places on the dark gray blanket.

"I wanted to…I wanted to…" she was sobbing too hard to finish the sentence now; crying in that way that little kids cry, tears, snot and all.

Daryl pulled her into his arms. Now he could feel her tears tracking down his neck. Damn it; how much damage had he done to her? He was gonna kick Rick's ass the next time he saw that bastard.

"You wanted to what?" he asked. "Did you want to stop? Baby, if you wanted to stop you should have said somethin'!"

He didn't call her "baby" very much. She took a deep breath, determined to get the sentence out.

"I wanted to make you happy!" she wailed.

"This don't make me happy," he said seriously. "Hurtin' you ain't at the top of my list. Tell me how bad it hurts."

Though what the fuck he was gonna do about it was beyond him.

She shrugged, trying to stop crying, "It just hurts."

"Scale of 1 to 10," Daryl demanded, falling back on what he remembered of Deena's C.N.A training.

"I don't know," she said. "Don't worry about it."

"Don't worry about it?" he repeated incredulously. "Don't fuckin' worry about it? I made you cry!"

He said it as though he was admitting to a capital offense.

"Look, Daryl," Songbird said. "I just want some time by myself okay? Go take a shower, and maybe bring me back something to drink. I just…I just want to be alone."

His heart dropped. She wouldn't even look at him. He showered quickly and went into the kitchen to find her something to drink. Because when a man hurts the woman he loves a Pepsi obviously fixes everything. Daryl snorted, looking through the pantry. He found a 2 liter and commandeered it, then grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels before leaving with two glasses in his hands.

"Where you headed?" Rick asked, passing him in the hallway.

"Got a bone to pick with you later," Daryl snarled pointing at him before continuing on to the fourth room, leaving Rick looking after him in confusion.

Songbird had pulled her pajamas on and climbed up to the bunk they shared. She had her arms around a pillow and her eyes were closed, but he knew that she wasn't asleep.

"Brought you somethin'," he said, surprised at the tone in his own voice.

Songbird opened her eyes; she'd never, ever heard him sound like that. He sounded hesitant and worried. It made his voice softer and lower; she had to struggle to catch the words. She propped onto her elbow and reached out, taking the 2 liter and the glasses.

Daryl climbed up and sat down gently next to her, resting his shoulders against the wall as he pulled a glass bottle from his hip pocket.

"Whiskey," he said, giving her a tentative grin, taking her glass and pouring some into the bottom before filling it the rest of the way with Pepsi. "Bo Dixon's cure for what ails you."

"Bo?" she questioned, taking a drink as he filled his own glass, more generous on the whiskey than he had been with her drink.

"My grandpa," he confirmed, sipping and glancing at her.

"I thought your grandpa's name was Robert. I thought that was who you were named after," she took another, longer drink.

"Yeah," Daryl said, pleased that she'd remembered. "But everybody called him Bo."

"Did you get along with him?" Songbird asked.

Daryl had just taken a swig of his drink so all he could do was nod.

"But, wasn't he your dad's father?"

"Yeah," he wondered why she looked so confused by that.

"You said your dad beat you…I guess I just didn't picture him with a good family life," she explained, glad to have something to think about besides how much of a failure she was in bed.

"It wasn't Bo's fault my dad was an asshole," Daryl said. "Look at how different me and Merle turned out. Runs in our family I guess…you're either a total jackass or you're not. Bo wasn't."

"Then tell about him," she said. "If you don't mind."

He would have walked across hot coals if it kept her from crying again.

"Well," he began. "Bo and his brother Jake started Dixon Brothers Roofing way back in 1936. He got married and…"

"Who did he marry?" Songbird asked, wondering why men always skipped over the romantic aspect of a story.

"My grandma," Daryl said as if it should have been obvious. "Her name was Florence," he continued when Songbird reached out and smacked his arm. "They were high school sweethearts, I guess you'd say. He was 19 when he got married."

"Really? That's so sweet!" Songbird gave Daryl a smile.

"Yeah, well…" Daryl trailed off and then went on. "They did love each other a lot. She died when I was 9, so I didn't know her as well. Anyway, Bo had two sons…Jake, who was named after my great-uncle obviously, in 1940 and a long time later in 1951, Merle Sr. My dad."

"Why'd they wait so long between kids?" she asked.

"Jake died in 1949," Daryl answered, taking another drink. "Ridin' his bike…got hit by a car. Wasn't nothin' anybody could do. Then, at the end of 1950 Bo signed up and he and Uncle Jake went to fight in the Korean War. Bo came back alone."

Songbird looked down at her glass and said, "How awful. His son and his brother…just like that."

"Yeah. The world's always been shitty," Daryl said. "Way before this. Anyway, they had my dad, raised him…"

She could tell he didn't really want to talk about his father so she said, "You can tell me all the family history when I have my computer. Tell me more about Bo."

"Hell, darlin' I don't know what to tell you," Daryl protested.

"Do you think he would have liked me?" Songbird asked shyly.

"He woulda give me hell about you," Daryl replied, giving her his first real smile since she'd stopped crying. "About how young you are…but…yeah. I really think he would have. He could always tell what a person really meant, no matter what they were sayin'. And he hated Deena."

"The woman who cheated on you?" she asked, finishing her drink.

He nodded and said, "I met her in 2004; I was 29. Started gettin' serious, took her to meet Bo; he was in his 80's by then, but he took a look at her and he listened to her talk and when she went outside to talk on the phone to one of her friends he looked at me and he said, "She ain't right for ya." I asked him why, he just kind of shook his head and said, "There's a look a woman gets in her eyes when she loves you. That look ain't there. She likes what you can do for her, but it ain't never gonna be about you, boy. It's always gonna be about her. That ain't love." He was right," Daryl said with a half smile. "But he didn't stick around long enough for me to tell him I was sorry for not believin' him. He died at the end of that year."

"What did he mean about a look in a woman's eyes?" Songbird asked, surprised at the philosophical way Daryl had quoted the man.

"I never knew," Daryl said, clearing his throat and mumbling sort of awkwardly. "Till I met you."

"Really?" she asked, this was the most serious that Daryl had ever been with her. Usually when they had sex it was fun, and playful, or so intense that all she could do afterward was collapse bonelessly and fall asleep when it was over. They didn't really do pillow talk, as a rule. "How do I look at you?"

"Like…ah shit," Daryl exhaled. "You really gonna make me say it?"

"Yes," she nodded solemnly. "I want to hear it!"

"You look at me like…okay, I'm not sayin' this is how you feel or anything, but you look at me like I'm the most important thing in your life. Like I'm the one thing you couldn't do without. Like you'd do anything for me."

"Well, all that's true," Songbird sat up and looked at him. "In other words, I look at you like I love you."

"Yeah," he said. "And I know you do. But darlin' you gotta promise me somethin' right now."

"Sure," she wondered why he looked so serious.

"Don't ever let me hurt you like that again," Daryl said. "Do I hurt you a lot? You need me to change anything?"

"No!" Songbird stared at him in surprise. "You've never hurt me before! And I don't want you to do anything differently. I love the way you do…um…me. Are you going to be all gentle from now on?"

"Would you like that?" he asked, looking down into his drink.

"If you started that, I'd have to get a new boyfriend," she said, making his head snap up. "If I wanted to make love all gentle, I'd date a girl."

He wanted to laugh, but instead he forced his features into a frown, swigged down the last of his drink and said, "You just try leavin' me darlin'. First man to touch you gets an arrow in the ass."

Songbird giggled and said, "Well…I'm sure that's better than some things you could put there!"

He lost the battle and laughed, pushing her down on the bed and then pulling her against him, her head on his shoulder, so that he could play with her hair with his free hand.

"Why didn't you tell me how much it hurt?" he asked after a moment.

He felt her sigh and he was kind of shocked by her answer.

"I wanted to be good for you; telling you how much it hurt would have ruined it."

"Baby," Daryl sighed too and tilted her chin up. "You're fine…I mean you're perfect. I've never complained about you."

"Well…but you wanted to do this, and I couldn't and I'm really, really sorry…"

"The only reason I wanted to do it was because of the condom thing and Rick said…"

"Wait," Songbird just realized what he'd said. "Rick and Lucky are really doing…that?"

"Yep," Daryl confirmed.

"How did you find out?" she asked.

"Girls aren't the only ones who talk about sex," he replied. "We had watch…got to talkin'."

"Do you talk about me?" she blushed.

"You talk about me," he said, wondering if she was going to get mad.

"Yeah, but I just give general compliments, no details!"

"Well, that's all I did," Daryl reassured her, replaying the conversation quickly. "I may have mentioned something about you being the best I ever had…"

"Really?" Songbird smiled. "I'd return the compliment if I thought it would mean anything to you."

"It's nice to hear," he said. "Even if you've got nothing to compare me to."

"Okay then," she brushed a kiss over his chest and said, "Daryl Dixon, you're the best I've ever had."

"Thanks." Daryl contemplated the ceiling, wondering why he felt so damn tired; it wasn't late. Maybe he was just getting old. That was a shitty thought.

"Daryl?" Songbird asked after a moment. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he answered, closing his eyes.

"And you won't yell at me?"

"No darlin', I won't yell at you," Daryl wondered how often he did yell; he'd have to work on that.

"Are you really okay with losing Merle?"

Now, that wasn't a question he'd expected. He gave it some thought; which was something he hadn't done since it happened.

"I don't know," was all he managed to come up with.

"What did you do that night you threw me out of the truck?"

"Drank till I barfed," Daryl admitted. "Thought about how bad I fucked shit up…missed you…prayed…passed out."

"In that order?" Songbird gave him a slight smile.

"Yeah," he said, brushing her hair back.

"But you didn't really think about Merle," she went on. "From the way people talk, the two of you were close."

"I don't know if I'd call it close," Daryl frowned as he thought. "Merle…he was…I don't know the words for this. He just did what he wanted you know? And I've never…I've never really been that way. But because I was Merle Dixon's brother people thought it; they were scared of him so they were wary of me. And he saved me. Stood up to the old man, wouldn't let him hurt me."

Daryl was surprised when his voice cracked. He cleared his throat and continued, "Everything I knew about strength was either from Merle or Bo and I never have figured out how to blend the two of them together. Merle never talked to me, never really even knew me except to say that I was his little brother. Nobody fucked with me, that was for damn sure, but Merle didn't really pay attention either. I wonder what he thought about havin' to deal with a ten year old kid. He coulda run off, he coulda left me there and I can't figure out why he wouldn't then and he did now."

Songbird didn't answer, or acknowledge the fact that she could tell from his ragged breathing that Daryl was doing his best to keep from crying. She just laid her head on his chest. He needed to get it out in the open and feel whatever he was feeling if he really wanted to move past it.

"Why you think he did that, Songbird?" Daryl asked. "Why'd he leave?"

"I didn't know him in his right mind," she answered.

Daryl laughed, a half laugh, half choked expression of grief as he said, "Merle Wayne Dixon was never in his right mind, swear to god. I just don't get it. When I saw you with him I wanted to kill him…I wanted to keep you safe. I hated him for hurting you, for scaring you…but I kept seein' him the way he was when I was a kid. He was always so goddamn cocky. Always had an answer and he fucked with me every chance he got. Messin' with my food, puttin' vinegar in my milk or salt in my ice cream…I couldn't stop seein' him that way. As the big brother that messed with me just to see me get mad and kept me safe," he swallowed hard. "And I couldn't help you. Because he wasn't always that far gone. I'm not sure, but I don't think he always hated me."

"He didn't always hate you, Daryl," she whispered, listening to his ragged breathing and feeling an ache in her own chest. "He said good things about you. He came back for you…it's just that seeing you happy pushed him over the edge. And that's his fault, not yours."

"Oh I know it's not my fault," he admitted. "It just feels like it. Like maybe if I hadn't gone huntin' that night, I coulda gone to Atlanta with them…"

"And you'd have ended up cuffed to that rooftop too wouldn't you?" she asked.

After a minute Daryl shrugged and said, "Probably. But…hell, I've never known what it's like to be more than Merle Dixon's kid brother. It was really weird to be by myself."

"Why did you kick me out of the truck after that if you didn't blame me?" Songbird hoped she wouldn't piss him off, but it was something she'd been wondering for a really long while.

"I felt like a failure," Daryl said roughly. "And I didn't know how to tell you that I don't know what I'd do if I lost you…that it worries me sick to think that you could get hurt…I thought it'd be better if you hated me. But you sorta wouldn't."

"I sort of couldn't," she replied, looking up at him with a slight smile. "I was already in love with you by then."

"How long?" Daryl asked, wanting to steer the conversation away from his brother, even though he did feel better getting that out in the open. "When did you fall in love with me?"

"Hmmm…" she chewed her lip in thought. "Well, the lust happened almost immediately."

"Really?" he was surprised at that. "I knocked you down!"

"And you yelled at me," Songbird smiled as if she'd just mentioned flowers he'd brought her or something. "But you were right! I mean, I wouldn't have responded so positively if this were the same world it was last year…"

He couldn't help grinning in return, even though he shook his head at her.

"So, yeah…sexy southern man standing there with a crossbow being all hot-headed and still smart…yum."

He kissed her and she wrapped her arms around him, returning the kiss eagerly for a few minutes before pulling back to say, "I fell in love with you when you yelled at me after the Walker attack. When we kissed for the first time."

"That was a good night," Daryl agreed. "Not the attack…but the kiss. I never liked that part much before."

"Really? What's not to like?" Songbird was confused.

He shrugged as he said, "I don't know, it just seemed frustrating. Gettin' goin' like that and then stoppin' before you get to the good part."

"You seem to enjoy stopping before the good part with me," she pointed out.

"I never enjoyed that!" Daryl thought for a moment and then said, "Well, maybe a little bit. Life's so fuckin' different now. And kissin' you is somethin' that's good enough to do for a while."

"How about doing some of that now?" she asked, giving him a grin.

"Sure, why not?"

She wrapped her arms around him as he took her mouth, teasing her slowly. She enjoyed the taste of Pepsi and whiskey on his tongue and let her body relax under his, returning the kisses and twisting her fingers in his hair. Daryl waited for the moment when her breathing had increased and her body moved against his.

"Tell me your name," he murmured against her mouth.

"What?" she gasped, trying to focus on his words, rather than the fact that his hands had moved to the waistband of her pajama pants.

"Come on darlin'," Daryl tried for charming, kissing down her neck. It sounded way too rough though and he frowned, trying again. "I won't tell nobody. I just want to know."

She shook her head, seriously considering laughing at Daryl's attempt to sound charming.

"Just don't stop," was all she said.

He stopped.

"Don't you think this has gone far enough?" he asked in frustration. "You fuck me every night, we're together practically all day…just fuckin' tell me!"

Songbird held her breath for a moment and then decided not to get mad; she figured a distraction was the best way to go. There was, after all, something she'd never gotten around to.

She shifted, pressing her lips to his chest and inching her fingers down to the waistband of his jeans.

"What the fuck do you think you're…" the words ended in groan as she flicked the button of his jeans open and wrapped her hand around him, glancing up and meeting her eyes as she ran her tongue down the center of his chest. "Fuck."

The tone of the last "Fuck" told her that this wouldn't be a challenge. She eased further down, still pumping with her right hand as she licked and teased down over his stomach, which tightened as propped on his elbows to see her better. Her long hair brushed over him and he didn't bother holding back another groan at the agonizingly light contact.

She looked up at him again, holding eye contact, and he'd never seen her dark eyes look so wicked as she licked her lips.

"Ready?" she asked.

"Just keep your hair back so I can see," he answered with a nod.

She smiled and tugged her hair behind her and then took a deep breath to get her nerve up. When her mouth closed around him he bit his lip. He hadn't wanted to ask her, but he's always loved this. Probably due to the fact that it was totally selfish…and god she did it so well that he couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"Thought you'd never…" he caught his breath when her tongue flicked the tip of his cock. "Done this?"

"I haven't," Songbird looked up at him. "I'm doing it right though aren't I?"

He grinned and nodded; she was still so damn cute.

She concentrated after that, working on taking him deeper. His mouth dropped open when she eventually took all of him down her throat.

"Jesus…" he groaned. He'd never been with a girl who could do that. It was the most amazing thing…Songbird swallowed around him. "Christ!"

He collapsed backward and she laughed around him. That felt good too. He closed his eyes, even though he'd planned to watch every second of her sucking him. Daryl thought that if he added any extra stimulation to the situation he'd just keel over.

Songbird continued for a while, alternating licks, sucks, and taking him down her throat until his knuckles turned white from his grip on the blanket. She wished she'd been doing this the whole time! It was actually awesome and way better than that other thing. Daryl's breathing was getting ragged and she could see a sheen of sweat over his chest.

"Don't you want to…" she pulled back to ask. "Um…you know…"

"Yeah," he answered, catching his breath. "And no…it's really fuckin' good darlin'."

She smiled and went back to it, glad to be a success at something today. Daryl reached down and tangled his fingers in her hair, pushing when he wanted down her throat again and groaning when she took him obediently. Ah, shit it was going to be over quicker than he wanted.

"Darlin', I'm gonna…" he broke off when she nodded, with no indication of moving.

Pure excitement over that was enough to finish the job. She swallowed and his head fell back against the pillow again.

"Holy god," he groaned when he was capable of speech.

She moved back up and snuggled against him, laying her palm on his stomach, smiling as she felt his muscles twitch. That only happened when his orgasm was really strong. Swallowing hadn't been so bad either. It was warm and kind of thick…but really, he'd been far enough down her throat that it pretty much bypassed the taste buds. Yeah. She could do that much more often and be perfectly content with it.

"You…that…" Daryl didn't even open his eyes as he said, "You're so fuckin' perfect darlin'."

"Want to take a nap?" she asked.

"Fuck yes," he answered in relief. He was exhausted, even if it was only the middle of the day. "But no age related jokes."

She climbed down and turned the lights off, then crawled back in bed. Daryl had wrapped his arm around her and nearly drifted off when she said, "It's okay. Dale naps everyday too."

He was too tired to do more than pinch her ass and say, "Blow me. Oh wait…"

"Have a good nap, Daryl," Songbird replied cuddling close and grinning into the darkness.

The next day Daryl flat out felt like shit. He was totally exhausted and all he'd done was feed the damn goats. He'd lain down on the couch and put his arm over his eyes, remembering Songbird's joke about Dale and his naps and thinking dark thoughts about age differences. Eventually he'd fallen asleep but he only felt worse when he woke up. He had a headache and all his muscles felt sore. He also had watch duty but he couldn't seem to motivate himself off of the couch. Maybe if he slept for a few more minutes…

Songbird, who'd been looking all over for him when Glenn told her that he hadn't turned up for watch, was taken aback when she saw him laying on the couch. Daryl hardly ever slept during the day. He forced himself out of bed at roughly the same time she did and found something to occupy his time until he took her to bed around 9:30. What with one thing and another, they usually fell asleep by 11:00.

"Daryl?" she whispered.

He didn't answer and she put her hand on his arm to shake him awake. Then she noticed the unnatural heat of his skin. She pressed her hand to his forehead; he was burning up. He swatted her hand away without really waking up, mumbling low in his throat.

"Daryl," she said again, louder this time. "Wake up okay?"

"Not right now," he answered, his voice sounding rough. She noticed he made a face when he swallowed.

"You're sick," she informed him matter-of-factly.

"No the fuck I'm not," he said, in a sleepy, belligerent voice. "I'm just tired. Quit buggin' me and wake me up for watch duty."

"You were supposed to be on watch an hour ago," Songbird told him.

Daryl sat up quickly and promptly regretted it; the room tilted like he was drunk and he had to put his head, which now felt like it was being jack hammered, in his hands.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothin'!" he took a deep breath and stood up. "I'm fine."

Two steps proved him wrong. Songbird steadied him and shook her head.

"You're going to bed," she said firmly. "Someone else can take the watch with Glenn."

"That's crazy," he argued, trying not to wince at the pain in his throat, which felt nearly raw. "I'm fine."

"Really? Then why are you so hot?"

"I been workin' out," he said dryly.

"Funny. But you're going to bed," Songbird would have crossed her arms, but he was leaning on her a little more heavily than he probably assumed he was, and she didn't want to let go and risk having him hit the floor.

"You're overreactin'…" he began as another wave of dizziness washed over him.

"You're being so stubborn! I'll get T-dog in here to carry you if I have to!"

And damn it if she didn't look serious.

"All right fine," Daryl said with an exasperated sigh. "You can explain why the hell I'm not on watch where I should be then."

"And I will when I've got you in bed," she said, her jaw determinedly set.

"I can put myself to bed!"

"Stop bitching."

He was sort of surprised by that, so he went down the hall with her. He kept his arm around her because, even though the living room had been way too damn hot, the fuckin' hallway was freezing somehow. They passed Shane in the hallway and he agreed to take Daryl's watch so Songbird opened their bedroom door and turned down the blankets of the bottom bunk closest to the door.

"What are you doin'?" Daryl asked in confusion, bracing his hand on the metal frame of the bunk and locking his knees to keep them from buckling.

"Closest to the door, in case you need to get to the bathroom or something," she said practically. "Sit down before you fall over and I'll get your pajamas."

"Get me a long-sleeved shirt too," he said. "It's fuckin' cold in here."

It was the normal temperature, but Songbird didn't argue. She got his pajama pants, and a thermal shirt, and then pulled the blankets from two of the other bunks. He sighed in irritation when she undressed him and helped him dress in the other stuff, even though his arms felt like they were made of lead and he was so tired again that he could barely hold his head up.

Lying down in that bunk bed felt like heaven. Daryl didn't mean to, but he gave a long sigh of contented relief. He forced his eyes open though when Songbird stepped away from the bed.

"Where you goin'?"

"I'm just putting my pajamas on," she explained.

It was early, but she figured Daryl would need the body heat. He was already having chills. She pulled on her red and white striped footie pajamas and got in bed. Daryl moved closer and wrapped his arms around her. She could feel him shivering even though his fever was so high that she was starting to sweat just lying next to him.

"Ready to admit you're sick yet?" she asked, running her fingers through his hair.

"Fuck you," he responded.

"I'd pay you a million dollars if you could manage it right now," she teased, not offended.

"You don't have a million dollars," he said tiredly.

"That's true, it's better not to take the bet knowing that I couldn't pay up," she replied, trying to hide her worry.

His shivers were stronger and he was so close that she couldn't have moved even if she'd wanted to.

"It's just so cold," he murmured, when she protested that he was nearly pushing her off the bed.

"I'm going to get you some medicine," she said.

He shook his head, "I'm not that sick."

"Daryl! You're burning up. You're shaking the entire bed, and not in the usual good way…"

"And someone else might need that stuff later," Daryl cut in. "Like you, or one of the kids. Just let me go to sleep, and I'm sure I'll be fine in the mornin'."

"Okay, be stubborn," Songbird answered with a worried frown. "Do you at least want me to get you something to drink?"

"Yeah," he responded. "Somethin' cold."

She slid out of bed and went down the hall, muttering to herself about hardheaded rednecks as she filled a glass with ice and water. She stopped by the medicine supply and poked through the box for a moment or two. Daryl had been one of the ones to risk his life getting the supplies; she saw no reason why he shouldn't have some of the medicine. She found NyQuil and snagged it, and one of the thermometers. She also stopped by the bathroom and got a washcloth, running it under the tap and squeezing it out, just in case his fever broke and his chills stopped.

"Where the fuck you been?" Daryl asked when she came back in the room, dashing her hopes that he'd fallen asleep in the meantime.

"I got a thermometer," she said. "Take your temperature before you take a drink."

Daryl sighed, but he put the thermometer in his mouth and waited for the beep.

Songbird took it and turned it.

"It's over 103," she said worriedly. "I got some medicine. Will you please take it?"

"No. I told you, if you let me get to sleep I'll be fine," he said again.

She didn't answer and he didn't open his eyes, but he could feel the "angry girlfriend" stare. For someone who'd only been with one guy she was good at it.

"If it's still that high in the mornin' I'll take somethin' for it," he went on. "Now can I please have my damn drink?"

She huffed and handed him the water. He scrunched his face up as he swallowed it, but it was at least cold enough to numb his throat a little bit. Of course that made the chills worse. He closed his eyes and, when Songbird got back into bed, this time with a book, he pulled her close again. Daryl didn't care if she was pissed off; he needed her heat.

She let him snuggle against her, even though she was ticked off at his refusal to take medicine like a normal human being, and she read until it was bedtime. Daryl didn't really get into any kind of deep sleep; every time he drifted off, he woke up again. Songbird got up and turned the light off, figuring that would help.

_Daryl was sitting on his tailgate when suddenly he heard something scrape against the side of his truck, like nails on a chalkboard. Was somebody keying his fucking truck? He slid off the tailgate and walked around._

_ The Walker lurched toward him, dragging one hand along the side of the truck, seemingly for balance. Its long, sharp nails were digging into the paint and sending shivers down his spine from the sound. Only the red hair and bloody Army fatigues told Daryl who it was._

_ "Rooster?"_

_ It was stupid and he knew it, but he had to know if the thing could still understand. It jerked to a stop and looked at him, tilting its head, giving him a view of dried blood, brain matter, and hanging skin. Then it moved forward again, shuffling a bit more quickly as he backed away. The crossbow was on the tailgate. He just had to…he backed into something solid._

_ "Ah bobhain," the voice rasped in his ear as strong hands gripped both his arms, turning him around._

_ Daryl tried to move, but he couldn't. James held him tightly, grinning with sharp teeth as Daryl struggled._

_ "I always said I could eat you right up," James grated._

_ Rooster had gotten behind him by that point, and Daryl felt his long, bony fingers dig into his scalp, yanking his head back. James lowered his head and ripped out his throat, cutting Daryl's yell off abruptly._

"Daryl?" Songbird shook him when he yelled.

He propped up on one elbow, too dizzy to attempt sitting, momentarily sick with panic at the pain that remained in his throat.

"Water," he croaked.

She handed it to him, he drank and the pain eased a bit.

"What on earth happened?" she asked when he lay back down again, still catching his breath.

"Bad dream," he replied. "It's okay now."

It wasn't really, but it felt better when she snuggled up against him, wrapping her arms around him and running her fingers through his hair. He rarely had bad dreams; it was probably just a fluke. Daryl closed his eyes.

_He was down near the pond. Michelangelo lay beside him on the grass and Songbird lounged on the other side of the massive dog. Suddenly Michelangelo's nose twitched and he bolted up._

_ "It's just Rick and Lucky," Songbird said lazily. "Calm down."_

_ Michelangelo didn't calm down though. His posture stiffened even more and he whimpered briefly. Daryl put his hand on the dog's neck and glanced around. There was nothing, other than Rick and Lucky moving slowly toward them. Why were they walking like that?_

_ "Songbird," Daryl began uneasily. "Get up."_

_ She stood up and gave him a concerned glance. "What's wrong?"_

_ "I don't know," he replied. "Take the dog up and…"_

_ Suddenly Michelangelo bolted, headed for Lucky and Rick at a furious pace, soundless and deadly._

_ "No! Michelangelo!" Songbird took off after him and Daryl ran after her._

_ By the time he got there it was too late. Lucky dodged Michelangelo and grabbed Songbird, leaving long scratches down her arm. Rick grabbed her other hand, yanking her back against him as he lowered his head._

_ "No!" Daryl threw himself at Rick, knocking him flat._

_ Songbird twisted away from Lucky and stared down at the scratches, already swelling and streaking her arm with blood and the angry heat of infection. Daryl stood again, looking down at the man who'd been his best friend as Michelangelo jumped for Lucky again, taking her down this time. The dog ripped her arm off and Daryl put his foot down on Rick's chest, holding him in place._

_ "Daryl," Songbird swallowed hard. "I'm going to die."_

_ "No you're not," he said firmly._

_ By this time Michelangelo had ripped Lucky apart and stood with his head hanging. Rick was clawing at Daryl's leg, but his nails couldn't penetrate the thick denim._

_ "Yes," she said softly. "I am."_

_ Before he could move, she bent and snatched the handgun from Rick's holster, backing up as she said, "I love you."_

_ "No!" his shout coincided with the blast of the gun and Songbird dropped, having shot herself clean through the brain._

_ His whole body went numb; he barely even noticed that Rick had managed to stand. Before Rick could reach him though, Michelangelo raised his head, blood and strings of muscle tissue hanging from his jaws. For the first time, the dog growled. Daryl wondered if any part of Michelangelo existed anymore. He was almost relieved when the huge dog sprang, knocking him to the ground so hard he couldn't breathe. In a few seconds it wouldn't matter anyway._

_ The dog bit in as Rick knelt beside him, ripping Daryl's shirt and chest open, scooping handfuls of flesh to his mouth. Daryl didn't want to fight, but he pushed them back involuntarily, trying to escape the pain…_

Songbird shook him, waking him up again.

"What time is it?" he asked after a sip or two of water.

"3 in the morning," Songbird said.

"So I've actually been asleep?" Daryl was surprised.

"You aren't resting," she replied. "You're tossing and turning and making weird noises…are you sure you won't consider taking some medicine?"

When he started to say no, she said, "Look, if nothing else, so I can get some sleep? You're keeping me awake too you know."

He was, but she didn't really care. He was still burning up and she knew he'd feel better if he could rest without dreams.

"If I wake you up again, then I will," Daryl promised, thinking that two bad dreams in one night was probably his limit.

_ He was walking into his old trailer._

_ "Hey, I'm home!" he called out._

_ "Well, if it ain't my little brother," Merle answered from the back. "Why don't you come back here and see what I've been up to?"_

_ Daryl walked back, shoving his keys into his pocket as he walked down the hall._

_ The scene in his bedroom nearly made him sick. Blood was splattered everywhere, including up the walls, damn near to the ceiling. The figure tied to the bed by wrists and ankles was moving slowly, the head tossing back and forth; Merle grinned._

_ "I been havin' lots of fun with your little jailbait bitch," he said conversationally. "Tryin' to get her to tell the truth about her damn name. I know it bugs the shit outta you…just tryin' to help, like a good big brother."_

_ Daryl realized with shock that the figure on the bed had red gold hair. She turned to face him, agony and confusion in her dark eyes. She couldn't speak because Merle had gagged her. But it was Songbird. She was all cut up; Daryl saw Merle's hunting knife lying near her stomach._

_ "You wanted me to be a better brother didn't you?" Merle asked, picking up the knife and turning it in his hand, watching the blood run down the blade. "I figured I'd start by makin' sure your girlfriend is always honest with you. Ain't that right sweetheart? You're gonna be honest with Daryl from now on ain't ya?"_

_ Songbird whimpered. Almost casually, Merle dragged the knife down her stomach. Her scream of pain was muffled because of the gag, but it cut through Daryl as surely as Merle's knife had broken her delicate skin._

_ "Stop it!" Daryl ordered. "What the hell do you think you're doin'? I gotta get her to the hospital…"_

_ "You can't do that," Merle said. "You know I've got those fuckin' priors. They'll put me away. You wouldn't let that happen would you?"_

_ "Fuck you! She's gonna die!"_

_ "Always more worried about her than me," Merle's tone changed from casual amusement to cold rage._

_ He reached out and shoved Daryl against the wall, one arm across his chest to hold him there while bringing his knee up and slamming it between Daryl's legs, robbing him of breath._

_ "You're right; she is gonna die. You can go with her. She likes Shakespeare? How 'bout a little Romeo and Juliet?"_

_ Daryl barely had time to gulp air before Merle drove the knife into his stomach and jerked upward. Daryl wondered if this was how fish felt, yanked on land, unable to catch a breath, to feel their skin split and have everything that should have been inside subjected to sudden gravity on the outside. It was a weird sensation for damn sure. Merle let him go and to his surprise, he managed to stay on his feet, his hands going to his stomach, pressing, trying to keep everything where it should be._

_ "Good luck little brother," Merle said with a smile and a shake of his head. "God, you should see the look on your face."_

_ He walked out. Daryl staggered over to the bed, reading the horror in Songbird's eyes. He let go of his stomach with one hand and fumbled with the gag, eventually working it free._

_ "Daryl…" she gasped, clearly going into shock._

_ He lay beside her, feeling warmth spread through his body as his blood soaked the covers, pooling and mixing with hers._

_ "I'm so sorry," he forced the words out. "I'm so fuckin' sorry…"_

_ Her eyes closed._

_ "No! Stay with me; stay with me darlin'," he begged. "God, I don't want to die alone…I don't want to die alone."_

"Daryl!" Songbird woke him again. "I'm right here. It's okay!"

He took a deep breath, reaching out and running his hands over her face and body. His throat hurt too much to explain the dream. His subconscious mind was a bitch when he was sick apparently.

"All right that's it!" Songbird sounded a little scared and a whole lot determined.

Daryl took the medicine she handed him without complaint and drifted into a drugged and, thank God, dreamless, sleep. After that, for the next few days, he only woke up long enough to drink, pee, and take more medicine. Songbird worried about his fever until the fourth morning when she woke to find her pajamas soaked and Daryl as far away from her as he could get, no shirt and no covers. Sweat stood on his skin and he was back to tossing and turning. Songbird smiled in relief. Finally, his fever had broken.

"What are you grinnin' about?" Daryl inquired roughly.

"Take your temperature," she replied, holding the thermometer out.

He did and she smiled again when she saw the numbers.

"99," she informed him.

He nodded and took a drink of the water she held out. The sweat covering him and the sheets bugged him and he shifted irritably.

"Do you want to take a shower?" she asked.

"Yeah," he was dying to take a shower actually.

She hopped out of bed and gathered some clean clothes for both of them. Daryl raised his eyebrow, but he didn't say anything as he accompanied her across the hall.

"Hey! You've joined the land of the living!" Glenn called from the guy's room.

Daryl grunted.

"And you've regained basic communication skills!" Glenn went on.

"Or learned them for the first time," Shane put in.

Daryl held his middle finger up briefly and went into the bathroom; Songbird laughed and shook her head, ignoring the looks from both guys when she went into the bathroom after him. He wouldn't want to admit it, but he was still pretty shaky and she wanted to be in there in case he needed her.

"Look, I don't need you to," Daryl began when she closed the door behind them.

"I want to take a shower," she said innocently. "You got your sweat all over me. What'd they say in the 60's? Save water, shower with a friend? Well, I'm just being environmentally conscientious."

He snorted in disbelief and got undressed. His hope that he wasn't sick anymore died when she stripped and his body didn't react at all. Damn it. He stepped into the shower, letting the lukewarm water wash the sweat away and closing his eyes with a sigh.

Songbird poured some of his soap into a washcloth and began washing his back. He braced his hands on the wall and enjoyed the attention. By the time he opened his eyes again, she'd soaped all of him up and they switched places so he could rinse off and she could soap up as well. He washed his hair quickly and then stepped out, drying off while she shaved and washed her hair. Before he could get dressed he had to sit down to rest. God, he hated being sick! He dressed in the sweatpants and tee-shirt she'd put on the counter and told her he was going back to the room.

"Okay," she called, rinsing her hair, glad he was going to rest without them having to argue over it.

She had to rethink that when she went back to the room to find Daryl stripping the bed and looking extremely shaky.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Sheets need to be washed," he said, tossing the bundle into the corner.

"Yeah well, I was going to do that," she informed him. "You need to rest…"

"I've been resting for 4 damn days," he snapped. "I'm fuckin' sick and tired of resting. And I'm sick of this damn room," he balled up the pillowcase and hurled it against the wall, "and every goddamn thing in it!"

"Daryl…" she began.

"No. I'm…" he looked around for something else to throw, and finding nothing in reach, he simply pointed emphatically in her direction. "I'm goin' outside."

"It's not even 30 degrees!" Songbird protested.

"I don't give a fuck if it's 30 goddamn below!" Daryl bellowed, yanking his boots on and stomping out of the room. "Wash the damn sheets!"

Shane, Glenn, Andrea, and Carol all stared at him as he walked by and that was irritating too.

"Christ! I'm just goin' outside!" he yelled.

Wisely, no one said anything else. Once he was gone, they all turned and looked at Songbird. She shrugged.

"Apparently he's a crappy patient," she said.

"Are you gonna wash the sheets?" Glenn asked.

"Yes," she answered, "But only because I'd planned to anyway."

"Somebody's gonna catch hell later," Shane said in an undertone.

"Dang straight," Songbird replied sedately as she gathered up the sheets and walked down the hall.


	36. Chapter 34

Daryl had stomped all the way out to his truck, and by the time he got there, he was exhausted.

"Fuck it," he muttered, letting the tailgate down and crawling into the truck bed.

He pulled his boots off again so he wouldn't get snow in the sheets and wrapped up in the blankets, resting his head against the camper shell window. He was tired, and no matter how much he wanted to deny it, still sick. Daryl also felt guilty. He hardly ever felt guilty.

He shouldn't have yelled at her; it wasn't her fault that he was at that annoying stage of being sick, where he actually wanted to do things and just didn't feel up to it. He banged the back of his head rhythmically against the glass and then lay down and threw her pillow over his head. He didn't exactly plan to fall asleep.

The hours passed and Songbird started to get worried. She looked through the compound, in the barn, and everywhere else she could think of before heading for his truck. She'd filled a thermos with Carol's chicken soup, but when she discovered him sleeping peacefully in the truck bed she was sorely tempted to pour the hot soup in a low region and leave. She settled for banging sharply on the glass.

Daryl shot straight up and looked at his seriously pissed off girlfriend. He sighed and lowered the tailgate. She held a thermos out without speaking. When he took it she spun on her heel and headed for the cabin.

"Hey!" he called.

"What?" she asked, still walking.

"Don't make me chase you; I don't have my boots on!"

She stopped and whirled around.

"You think that it's fun being worried about you?" she demanded. "I didn't know where you were! I looked everywhere! And, whether you can bring yourself to admit it or not, you've been really sick! And I've been waking up every time you did to make you feel better about your dreams, or to get you water, or medicine…and I'm tired too and I don't need you yelling at me on top of it all!"

"I'm sorry."

Her mouth dropped open and then Songbird burst into tears.

"Ah shit." Daryl pulled his boots on and walked over to her, shivering in the cold air. "Come on, darlin', now I said I'm sorry."

"I know," she sniffled. "I'm just…shocked."

"Let's get in the truck," he said, leading her that way.

Once her sneakers and his boots were off, he wrapped them both in several blankets and picked up the thermos. He poured a cup of the soup into the lid and handed it to Songbird, who was still wiping tears away.

"But I brought it for you," she protested.

"I know," he answered, taking a sip straight from the thermos. "I don't wanna share my germs with you, and I know you're cold if you been out there lookin' for me."

She shrugged, then nodded and sipped. There was more soup inside if he was still hungry afterward.

"I really didn't mean to…uh…yell at you," Daryl said, taking another drink. That was good soup.

"I know being sick isn't fun," she said.

"Neither is bein' yelled at," he admitted. "Been a long time since I lost my temper like that."

"It's okay," Songbird looked up at him. "I was going to yell at you more than that, but you went and said you were sorry. Took the wind out of my sails."

He put his arm around her and pulled her against his side as he said, "You forgive people really easy, darlin'."

"Not everybody," she replied. "Just you."

They finished the soup in silence and Daryl sighed as he looked out.

"I guess I'd better get back in there," he said.

"Well, it's pretty warm in here with both of us and all these blankets," Songbird countered. "If you just want a change of scene maybe we could stay out here for a while."

Daryl hoped wholeheartedly that she didn't want to have sex, because absolutely nothing about him was prepared to rise to the occasion.

"How about another story?" Songbird asked, making up her mind.

"Uh…" Daryl hedged. "I don't know…"

"This is a different kind of story," she informed him with a grin. "I don't want your germs."

"Then sure," he answered, relieved that there were some things about age differences that his girl didn't understand. And she never would if he had anything to say about it.

"Okay," she took a deep breath and began braiding her hair.

"You nervous darlin'?" Daryl wondered what on earth she would be nervous about.

"A little," she admitted. "This story…well, this story isn't going to be easy for me to tell. But…loving me hasn't always been easy for you. So I want to tell you this. Just don't," she took another deep breath and looked away before she said, "Just don't stop loving me, okay?"

He turned her to face him and looked at her seriously as he said, "Songbird, I'm not sure there's anything you could do to make me quit lovin' you. I wanna know about you because you're important to me. You don't see me hasslin' anybody else for their life story do you?"

She gave him a half smile and said, "Okay. But if you dump me you know I'll cry. And you'll feel so bad that you'll just take me right back."

He took her hand to save her from making more knots in her braid and said, "So tell me the story."

_Catherine, for the first time since she'd left home five months ago, was glad she didn't have much stuff. Jack had been gone for a month and a half and he'd been a month behind in the rent anyway. The landlord was sympathetic, especially since she couldn't help crying as she packed the small suitcase she'd taken from her parent's house, laying several baby sleepers on top of her clothes before closing the case. She's bought them as a surprise for Jack when she told him she was pregnant. The real surprise was hers about a week later when she came back from the errand he'd sent her on to find that he and all his stuff were gone. He'd left her a note telling her to consider this a life lesson in not giving it up unless the guy said he loved her and telling her to go back to her parent's house. There was $200 folded into the note and a suggestion that she catch the Greyhound back to California as soon as possible, because they were getting evicted._

_ She cried then too, her tears staining his cruel words. There was simply no way she could go back home. She'd called her mom and dad from a payphone on the road, just to let them know that she hadn't been kidnapped. Her father had told her that if she didn't turn around and come home that night, she couldn't come back at all. She would be forever dead to them._

_ If it hadn't been true then, she knew it would be now that she was pregnant. Catherine suspected that the only reason the invitation had been extended in the first place was that her parent's figured she was only running away so she and Jack could have sex. It would have been different if they'd known that Catherine had let Jack take her virginity several weeks before in the backseat of his car. Jack hadn't cared about their age difference and the ten years between them made Catherine feel grown up and worldly._

_ The landlord handed her a card as she shouldered her backpack and picked up the suitcase. She looked at it when she was on the sidewalk and humiliation burned through her. It was the address of a homeless shelter. Catherine crumpled the card angrily and shoved it down into her pocket as she walked off up the sidewalk. She still had most of the money Jack had left her, but she was pretty much out of food and she knew she couldn't go without._

_ Catherine rubbed her hand over her stomach; she wished she was far enough along to feel the baby kick. Then she might have felt less alone._

Songbird stopped for a moment. Daryl tightened the arm he'd slung over her shoulders, giving her a side hug. She leaned her head against his chest. He heard her sigh.

"So your old man ran out on her just like that?" Daryl shook his head. "How old was he?"

Songbird glanced down at her hands and said, "25."

"But you said they had a ten year age difference," Daryl frowned. He hadn't pictured Songbird's mother close to his age…realization dawned. "Your mama was only _15_?"

"Yeah," she confirmed.

"Your old man was a real douchebag."

"Yeah," she confirmed again.

_Catherine took a seat against a chain link fence and finished her cheeseburger as she watched a carnival being set up._

_ "Hey!"_

_ A shadow fell over her and she jumped to her feet, scrambling to get her things together._

_ The man whose shadow she stood in was huge. He had to be over six and a half feet tall and his arms were bigger than her thighs. He had a cigar that he spoke around as he barked, "Ya runnin' away to join the circus principessa?"_

_ "Oh…I…no," Catherine stammered._

_ The man had a thick Italian accent and she wondered if he was a mobster._

_ "Ya gotcha bags all packed for somthin'," he went on; he knew the look on the kid's face, she was desperate and sad and he found that she reminded him of his own daughter. Or rather what Elena might have been. He figured he'd get the girl on a bus home and consider it his good deed of the day._

_ "Well…" she didn't know what to say. "I'm not really packed for anything. It's just…I'm just…"_

_ "Ya hungry?" he cut in. "Want somethin' better that that crap?" he gestured at the McDonalds wrapper in her hand._

_ "I couldn't impose," she answered, drawing on her childhood training._

_ He laughed and clapped his hand down on her shoulder._

_ "I'm offerin' principessa! Don't ever turn down an Italian's generosity! You'll embarrass me!"_

_ So Catherine found herself in a trailer, eating spaghetti and meatballs in a delicious homemade sauce. She also found herself pouring her heart out to the big gruff Italian. He didn't look surprised at any of the tale, but she thought that sympathy warmed his dark eyes when she admitted her age and told him she was two months pregnant. Different heat filled his eyes when she told him Jack's age and showed him the letter._

_ He had choice words, but he said them in Italian so she didn't know exactly what he'd called Jack. She had a feeling that she would have agreed with his assessment though. Especially since it ended in "bastardo."_

_ "So here's what ya do," he said when she was done eating. "Gotta swallow your pride and go home. It'll be hard, but I'm sure your folks will…"_

_ "No," Catherine shook her head. "Most parents would, but not mine. And that's not just me being a dramatic teenager. My father told me not to come home."_

_ "In that case, here's what ya do," he amended. "You come work for me. I'm out a gypsy fortune teller and you got the right look."_

_ "But I…I don't know how…"_

_ "What's to know? Ya ramble about handsome or beautiful strangers, changes, vague warnings…whatever ya wanna say really. I'll getcha a crystal ball, tarot cards, whatever ya wanna use."_

_ "Well…sure. I'll give it a try I guess. I don't know if you'll like me…but I'm a good worker. I used to work at a grocery store…"_

_ "Don't look so worried principessa! I just hired ya! You'll be fine, I know it."_

_ To her surprise she was. Tony Morretti, who turned out to be the owner of the circus, found her a gypsy outfit that was big and layered enough to hide her pregnancy for the whole remaining seven months. She also found out that she had quite a touch with the tarot cards. She was an excellent story teller and people always left her booth happy and excited, lots of times they even dragged friends back to have their fortunes told._

_ Her life was shaping up well. Near the end of her pregnancy, she moved into Mr. Morretti's trailer…_

"So her and him?" Daryl couldn't resist interrupting.

"Oh ew! Oh no! It's just that she reminded him of his daughter Elena. Elena died when she was fourteen in an accident and he wanted to take care of my mama. It wasn't a sexual thing at all!"

"Just wondered if the women in your family only dated older men."

"Not on purpose," Songbird answered. "But the heart wants what it wants."

"Seriously? Your mama was a gypsy fortune teller?"

"Yep," she nodded.

"That's why you traveled so much? 'Cause your mama worked for the circus?"

"Yes. I grew up in that trailer with my mama and Mr. Morretti; I called him Papa Tony, because he was basically my grandpa. Then when I was three one of the trapeze artists ran off with a mechanic while my mama was babysitting her daughter, so she and Papa Tony raised River too."

"River?" Daryl questioned. "Is that really her name or is that like "Songbird"?"

"Her name really is…was…River. She was born in White River South Dakota. Lots of circus kids get named after the towns they're born in. Gives them the sense of having a hometown."

"Sucks to be the kid born in a weird town," Daryl commented.

"Yes. Yes it does." Songbird replied.

"So, you're the unlucky kid?" he asked, trying to recall town names in Ohio and drawing a total blank.

"Yeah. What do you want to know first? Who I am or what I did?"

Daryl didn't know. He'd wondered for so long that he was in mild shock and kind of on information overload.

"Uh," he said brilliantly, rubbing his chin. "Whatever you wanna tell really."

"It's easier to tell you what I did before I tell you my name," she couldn't believe he didn't seem to care that she had grown up in a circus. The whole thing felt a little anti-climactic honestly.

"When I was about two, Papa Tony started teaching me to throw knives. Mama wasn't really happy, but she saw that I was good at it and that I really liked it, so she let me keep it up. I can throw knives from every angle, and from horseback," she said, glancing up at Daryl.

"You worked at the circus then?"

She nodded.

"I guessed circus!" he said indignantly.

"You guess circus _freak_," she emphasized. "I'm not a freak."

"Technicality!"

"Not in my line of work. Anyway…yeah. Until I was about fourteen the knives were my sole act. I was…" she swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "Xenia the Amazingly Accurate Knife Girl."

"Who?" of everything he'd thought her name could be, it wasn't anything like that.

"Xenia. Xenia Marie," she confirmed.

"There's actually a town in Ohio called _Xenia_?"

"There's also a girl in your truck called Xenia," Songbird answered, afraid he was going to start making fun of her. "It could have been worse. I could have been born in Gallipolis."

"Guess that's true. Uh…you don't mind if I just stick with Songbird do you? 'Cause I'd forget…uh Xenia half the time anyway and…"

She laughed and hugged him. It was cute when he tried not to hurt her feelings.

"I'd prefer it if you kept calling me Songbird actually. It makes it easier to forget," a brief shadow crossed her face and Daryl thought back to what she'd said after Freddy's suicide attempt about watching people getting ripped apart and seeing them turn.

"What happened to your mama?" he asked bluntly.

"She passed away when I was ten," Songbird answered. "She had cancer."

She'd dropped her gaze and she was playing with her braid again.

"I'm sorry darlin'," Daryl said sincerely. "I guess we're more alike than I thought. What about River and Tony?"

"They…" Songbird's throat closed. She forced the images and words away for so long that she couldn't talk about it now. "I can't Daryl."

He decided not to press and after a moment he said, "I can't believe that's your big secret. Throwin' knives for a circus."

"Until I was fourteen," she said. "After that I took over the corde lisse act."

"What's that?"

Songbird frowned, trying to think of how to explain it.

"It's easier to show than tell," she finally said. "But we'd have to go to the barn and I don't want you to get cold."

"Fuck that! You're finally talkin' to me! I'm gonna find out everything I can!" Daryl pulled on his boots and tossed Songbird her sneakers as he dropped the tailgate.

She threw him a blanket and said, "At least wrap up!"

He balled the blanket up and stuck it under his arm.

"I ain't cold right now," he explained when she gave him an exasperated look.

The barn was empty when they got to it and Songbird was relieved because, while she had been practicing in her alone time, she wasn't exactly performance ready.

"First I'm going to tell you a little bit about it so you know what to expect," she said.

He sat on one of the hay bales and nodded, still in shock at finally knowing everything about her this way.

"Corde lisse is French for," Songbird gestured to the rope hanging from the rafters, "Smooth Rope." She began stretching as she talked, and she pulled off her jacket and hoodie for better range of motion. "Which that one is not. So there's a lot of my act that I can't do on it without getting blisters. Most of the slides are out of the question which is sad because they are so fun! Anyway," she kicked her shoes off, "if you've ever been to a circus you'll recognize it."

Before he could answer, she ascended the rope as easily as if she was walking up the stairs. His eyebrows went up. She wrapped both hands around the rope and did a few pull ups, keeping her body perfectly straight.

"I'll tell you the names of the stuff I'm doing as I do it," she called down to him. "This is simple stuff, really more of a warm up. Like this inversion," she kept both hands on the rope and separated her legs, putting the rope between them and leaning back, pointing her toes over her head. "Is pretty easy."

"Like hell," Daryl called.

She grinned and lowered her legs, then moved them out at an angle, separating her hands as well and holding her body out diagonally from the rope. "And then there's this…a favorite of mine."

As she spoke she swung her left leg, looping it through the rope quickly and then letting go with both hands.

Daryl nearly choked. He couldn't figure out how she'd done it that fast, but he could see that, the way the rope was wrapped around her, she couldn't fall. She waved with both hands and then, grabbing the rope with one hand, flexed her legs, twisted and let go again, coming to an abrupt stop upside down, with the rope around her hips. He closed his eyes involuntarily, only opening them when she said, "The first part was a hip key and the second was a hip wrap drop."

She moved her leg again, freeing it from the rope, and continuing to hold the rope behind her, remaining upside down as she leaned her legs back, like a backbend except on the rope.

"So?" she called down at him. "What do you think?"

He thought he wanted her to get down so he didn't die of a heart attack right there in the barn. It was sexy, but all he could think of was how hard the barn floor was.

"Uh," he began. "It's really good darlin', but uh…I'm cold."

"Okay!" she flipped back so that she was right side up and said, "Let me show you one more thing, since I can't end with my usual slide!"

"Okay," he agreed.

She swung for momentum and twisted her body, letting go of the rope completely for several seconds as she did a full 365 degree rotation in the air, catching the rope again and giving him a smile. Daryl didn't breathe till she was back on the ground.

"Neat huh?" she asked, pulling socks and sneakers back on.

"You're gonna kill me one of these days," Daryl groaned, collapsing backward into the hay bales.

"What? Why?"

"It was really awesome," he said, still prone. "And if you'd been just some chick performing I would have loved it. But…I don't want you to get hurt, darlin'."

She dropped down into the hay beside him and gave him a kiss. "Daryl I've been doing it since I was seven."

"I thought you said you took over the act when you were 14?"

"Well, yeah. It took me seven years to get good enough. And other than a brief hiatus for an apocalypse, I've been doing it every day. Don't take it away from me, Daryl."

She looked so serious and worried that he felt bad.

"I ain't gonna tell you that you can't do it," he reassured her. "Just make sure you ain't by yourself when you do okay?"

"Sure!" she smiled and they walked out of the barn.

"I just can't believe that was your big secret," Daryl said. "I don't know how to feel about it. Why were you so ashamed of somethin' so simple?"

"Let me put it this way," Songbird replied. "When the circus came to town did you turn to your brother and say, "I would like to go and view a quality show with trained professionals performing acrobatic feats that they have trained years to master?" or did you say, "Hey let's go check out the freaks?"

Daryl cleared his throat guiltily.

"See?" she asked, not even needing him to admit it. "I'm not mad about it…it's just that…the average person hears circus…they think freak. And I liked all of you guys and wanted you to like me. I was afraid Lori and Carol wouldn't trust me with Carl and Sophia if they knew…that Shane would be a dick about it…that you'd think I was…well…weird."

"Why'd you think that about Carl and Sophia?" Daryl asked in confusion.

"When I was 8, I met this girl who'd come to one of my shows," Songbird said. "She was about my age I guess, looking back on it. Anyway, she was right in the front row and after the show she chased me down so we could talk. She must have slipped away from her mom. We talked for a while and she said she wanted to be just like me. Well…just then her mom found her she was really mad. But she was mad at me. She said that her daughter didn't need to be coerced into spending more time in a silly fantasy and that just because I didn't have parents to make sure that I did something with my life, I shouldn't assume everyone was the same."

"Fuckin' bitch," Daryl felt tense when he saw how ashamed Songbird still looked over that.

"That's just how people feel about circus people," she shrugged. "It's nothing compared to the time when I was 16 and this woman found her son flirting with me. She called me a whore and accused me of attempting to seduce him into a life of debauchery."

"Uh huh. And what'd you say?"

"I said, "Was ever a woman in this humor wooed? Was ever a woman in this humor won?" She didn't get it and it was out of context anyway."

"Shakespeare?"

"Of course. Richard the Third. There's a lot of controversy over that man anyway though, so I don't think he'd have been upset for me adding a bit more. And those are only two incidences. Suffice it to say Daryl, circus performers don't get a lot of respect…and I kind of wanted some," she admitted. "It was a chance to be something else for a while."

"I think I get it," Daryl admitted. "You gonna tell anybody else?"

"No," she shrugged. "I'm just going to bite the bullet and fill out my own questionnaire. Not today though. Today, we're both going back to bed and we are going to get some decent rest."

"Sounds good to me," Daryl opened the door for her and they proceeded to do just that.

A/N: And there you have it. The truth about Songbird. Glad everyone has enjoyed the last few chapters, especially Songbird punching Vicky. That was fun to write! Got a few more chapters to come, they will be up BEFORE the premier of The Walking Dead on Sunday. So keep checking!


	37. Chapter 35

It was late February before Songbird opened the laptop and began typing. She'd decided that she might make more sense of her story if she wrote it down. Then whoever wanted could read it, if they wanted to.

_My name is Xenia Marie, but everyone knows me as Songbird. I'm 18 and this whole history thing was my idea; I didn't want these people to be forgotten. They're good people. As for where I was when this whole thing started…_

_ "Where is everybody?" River asked me after her show._

_ I could tell she was disappointed and I kind of was too. There had only been about 25 people in the audience for my evening show and for a Friday night that was just crazy. I had this awesome new outfit for my corde lisse performance. It covered me completely, but under the big top lights it looked like I was simply wrapped in wide red ribbons._

_ "Come on," I said, putting my arm around her shoulders. "Don't pout little sister! You'll be back to being the main attraction in no time!"_

_ "I'm so not the main attraction," River said, poking me in the ribs. "You're the one with standing room only shows."_

_ "That's cause she hotter than you."_

_ "Your boyfriend is such a jerk," River stuck out her tongue at Ben._

_ "You know he's not my boyfriend," I answered._

_ "Just give my charm time to work," Ben called from his ring toss booth. "You'll never want to leave my side!"_

_ "I can't get away from you either way!" I answered._

_ *Note for Daryl: Ben and I kissed once or twice, but really wasn't my boyfriend. He was six months younger than me and we both know that's not how I roll. And also, while Ben may appear to be a normal name, he was named for Ft. Benning. Anyway, I'm rambling. I didn't think I'd do that on paper! Well…screen. Whatever*_

_ River and I were nearly to our trailer when I heard Ben yell for me._

_ "Xenia, come here! River, get Tony now!"_

_ He sounded so panicked that we instantly obeyed. When I ran back I saw Ben kneeling on the ground beside a guy who was coughing blood. Ben had blood all over his shirt and hands and some splattered on his face too._

_ "What happened?" I asked._

_ "I don't know!" he answered. "He was walking funny, sort of stumbling, and then he just fell over. Then he coughed blood all over me. What should I do?"_

_ I didn't know why he was looking at me like I should know, but I tried for a calm tone._

_ "River should be back with Papa Tony really soon. He'll know what to do. Stand up and hold out your hands."_

_ Ben just looked up at me in confusion so I shook my water bottle in his face._

_ "You shouldn't have gotten his blood all over you…" I started._

_ "She's right," Papa Tony's voice boomed. "I called the ambulance. I want you to go wash up," he pointed at Ben as he spoke. "You should go with him," he went on, pointing at me when he noticed how pale Ben was._

_ We walked into one of the fairground bathrooms because he didn't want to drip blood through the trailers. Ben pulled his shirt off and threw it away, making a face. When he rinsed the blood off his hands, I grabbed his wrist, turning his hand palm up._

_ "Did he scratch you?"_

_ "Yeah. When I knelt down by him he grabbed my hand. I guess he was panicking because I couldn't get him to let go. I didn't realize he got me so bad."_

_ The scratches were already swollen and his whole palm was red with fever._

_ "I'll get the first aid kit," I said._

_ "I'm sure it'll be fine once I get it cleaned out," he answered._

_ "Don't be stubborn! Look at it!"_

_ "I'm fine! I'm just feeling kind of sick. Think Tony'd let me shut it down early?"_

_ "I'm sure he would," I told him. "But are you sure…"_

_ "Don't worry so much! How about you give me a kiss for being so brave?"_

_ I figured he must be fine if that was his main concern. I stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek and he shook his head at me._

_ "Someday Xenia," he said with a grin. "You're gonna…"_

_ "The minute I fall victim to your charm, Ben, I'll let you know."_

_ I'm sure everyone who knows how the infection spreads can fill in the rest. Ben lived in the big trailer with a lot of other people. It spread like…well like Wildfire. Papa Tony couldn't get a doctor out to see us, not that it would have helped, because nobody had insurance. Lots of us didn't even technically exist. I don't even have a birth certificate._

_ Papa Tony wouldn't let me and River out of the trailer the next day, even though we were both worried sick about Ben and the kids. They were my family. Everyone there was my family._

_ Late the next day Papa Tony said he was going out to check on the others. He pulled me aside and told me to get my knives. He said he was sure everything was fine, but it couldn't hurt to be prepared. Then he left._

_ Less than ten minutes later we heard him yelling for us._

_ The kids had mobbed him and he'd tripped. He never even really tried to move. They were ripping him apart._

_ "Run!" he yelled. "It's got everybody. There's no reason for you to stay. Principessa," he meant me. "Bella bambina," he meant River. "You two need to run now."_

_ I ran; River didn't. They got her. I think she was too shocked to even scream. She was younger than me; she'd only just turned 15. I didn't know she wasn't behind me for a while. I turned around but the others were chasing me by then. Daryl said they track by scent and I guess he's right. I managed to catch a few rides out of North and South Carolina, but the guy who was supposed to take me to Atlanta got bitten, so I walked until I met up with this group somewhere in Georgia. As for the people I lost…it's a long list. Deal with it._

Daryl found Songbird in their room, her laptop open in front of her and tears running down her cheeks. He climbed up and sat down beside her. She turned the laptop and he looked at the list of people she'd lost. It was extensive.

"Some of 'em don't have last names," he commented.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I don't have one myself."

"It ain't MacQuirter?" Daryl asked in surprise.

"Oh no. My mama never used that last name again after she was disowned and she never would have given me Jack's last name either. No birth certificate or social security card made that pretty easy. I've never had a last name."

"Want one?" Daryl asked.

"What? You mean when I was a kid? Sure, I guess. Even though it wasn't nearly as weird as it could have been…"

"No, I mean now," he clarified.

"How would I do that? Just make one up? That seems sort of…"

"Okay, apparently I'm doin' it wrong," Daryl sighed. "What I'm gettin' at is that you could have mine."

"Like…"

"Like…I can't _exactly_ marry you, but you could put your name as Songbird Dixon. Or Xenia Marie Dixon. Whichever. Who the hell's gonna say you ain't my wife?"

Songbird didn't say anything for a long moment; then she turned the laptop back to face her and typed something rapidly. Daryl leaned over her shoulder and saw that she had changed the first sentence to read, "My name is Xenia Marie Dixon, but my husband just calls me Songbird and I like that better."

"It's the only thing you could have said or done to make me feel better after all this," she whispered. "You always say the right thing."

"To _you_," Daryl amended. "I'm in love with you, so that must help."

"I guess so," she leaned over and rested her head against him. "Doesn't really feel any different…"

"It's not terrifying," Daryl said with a laugh. "And, it's kinda weird, but it makes me wish we could do it the legal way…instead of only like this."

Songbird did too, but she didn't want to say it and ruin the moment for him.

"Hey," Daryl went on. "Why don't you tell me a story? You haven't told me one in a while."

"About what?" she asked, turning the laptop off and putting it carefully back in its case.

"About this," he said. "Tell me about our weddin'."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Make it like this whole thing…this apocalypse, never happened. I'm a construction worker and you're a circus performer, and we're gettin' married."

"Okay!" Songbird took a deep breath and began…

_Songbird sat down on the couch beside Daryl and kicked her feet up onto the coffee table._

_ "How was the show?" he asked._

_ "Decent," she replied. "I got to do that new slide…"_

_ "Don't tell me," he interrupted, "You remember the deal. You can do whatever you're trained to do, but it gives me a heart attack to watch you. And," he went on when she opened her mouth to protest, "I can see it in my head when you talk about it. What time I gotta take you home?"_

_ "Mama said 1…Papa Tony said midnight. Do you want to piss Papa Tony off or not?"_

_ "Not," Daryl answered emphatically. "He's way bigger than me. Damn. Well, I guess I'd better make the best of it."_

_ He reached for her and tugged her into his lap, allowing her to straddle him as he leaned up to kiss her. She rested her hands on his chest, feeling the warm flannel covering his hard muscle, which flexed slightly in reaction to her touch._

_ "Christ. Thought you'd be doin' that in your own damn room."_

_ Songbird laid her head on Daryl's shoulder and called, "Hey Merle."_

_ "Hey cutie. Didn't you have somethin' you're supposed to be doin'?" Merle continued the question at Daryl. "That ain't what you said you was…"_

_ "Get the fuck outta here," Daryl replied._

_ "Just grow a pair and fuckin' do it! I'm sick and tired of hearin' you talk about it."_

_ "I can't do it if you're in here." _

_ "You weren't doin' it anyway! Want me to do it for you?"_

_ "No. I said get the fuck outta here!" Daryl yelled._

_ Songbird was used to the two of them harassing each other, so she didn't pay attention to the yelling._

_ "Do what?" she cut in._

_ "Well cutie," Merle stuck the longneck beer he'd taken from the fridge into his mouth, twisting the bottle cap off with his teeth._

_ No matter how many times she saw that, Songbird was fascinated by it._

_ "My little brother's got somethin' to ask you," he began, taking a swig of Budweiser._

_ "Hang on, darlin'," Daryl said, standing up and depositing her on the couch and approaching his brother._

_ Merle backed up with a smirk as he said, "Spit it out or I'll do it for you."_

_ "Like hell! Go do somethin' that ain't this," Daryl said._

_ "If I don't hear in five minutes I'm gonna come do it for you," Merle vowed, backing down the hall with a grin at his brother and a wink at Songbird._

_ "What on earth is going on?" Songbird asked in confusion._

_ Daryl sighed._

_ "Got somethin' to ask you."_

_ "Okay."_

_ Daryl cleared his throat and dug around in his jeans pockets for a second or two._

_ "Well, I wanted to say it so you'd really like it. I wanted to be, uh, you know…romantic. But everything romantic I came up with woulda made me feel kinda like an idiot. So, this is kinda boring I guess. Hell, I coulda just took you dinner now that I think about it…"_

_ "Ask her!" Merle bellowed down the hall._

_ "Fuck off!" he shouted back. "Anyway. I was wonderin' if you wanted to, uh…get married. I got you this."_

_ He held his hand out and Songbird stood up, looking at the ring in the palm of his hand. She reached out one finger and touched it. It was real. Daryl was really asking her to marry him. The ring was beautiful. The center stone wasn't a diamond. It was a sapphire and it was flanked on either side by two small diamonds. She admired the curve of the white gold and the setting of the stones for a long moment._

_ She looked up at him; he was biting his thumbnail and looking worried. She held out her left hand and said, "Yes."_

_ "Oh thank god," Daryl breathed, pushing the ring onto the fourth finger of her left hand._

_ She flung herself at him and he scooped her up, holding her close._

_ "Told you she'd be the only girl crazy enough to take you on full time," Merle drawled from the kitchen. "Welcome to the Dixon family, cutie." He gave her another wink, twisting off a second bottle cap with his teeth and toasting her with a bottle of Bud._

_ "Thanks Merle!" she called as he retreated to his room. "I have to call my mom and Papa Tony!"_

_ "They know," Daryl informed her, carrying her back to his room, on the opposite end of the trailer. "You really think I was gonna try to marry Tony Morretti's granddaughter without his permission?"_

_ "Good move," she agreed, kissing him as he laid her down on his bed._

_ The wedding plans moved pretty quickly actually, considering all the people involved. Songbird's mother Catherine, who was still Catholic at heart, had plenty of ideas and Tony, with his Italian traditions, had plenty more. Since the Dixon's were more the type to shack up, Daryl didn't have much of an opinion on anything. He pretty much just made calls when Songbird told him to and booked stuff. He'd expected Merle to say something about that, but he figured out that Merle was scared of getting recruited and has wisely decided to keep his mouth shut about everything wedding._

_ Lucky helped make sure that Songbird's voice got heard in her loud family and moved things along the most, so Songbird made her the Matron of Honor and they both had to deal with scowls from River for a day or so over that. Then Lucky recruited her to go dress shopping and she got over the indignity of being replaced. She was still a bridesmaid after all._

_ It was a winter wedding and Lucky and Songbird had picked the colors accordingly. The bridesmaids dresses Lucky picked to show to Songbird were so beautiful she was briefly jealous. They were a deep, true red, nearly floor length with a deep décolletage and a black silk ribbon marking the empire waist. Everyone in her wedding party would look beautiful in them. _

_ The dress she finally found was truly lovely though. It was sleeveless with the same plunging neckline as the bridesmaids dresses, and it had crystal beadwork on the top and trailing about halfway down the skirt in long lines that looked a little like icicles especially in low light. It had a wide red band around its Empire waist that was embellished with gold embroidery and a band of the same material around the full skirt._

_ The guys ended up in black tuxedos with red ties and handkerchiefs. At least that part was easy._

_ The wedding was at night and luminaries lit the path to the small church and the isles. Songbird thought that Carl and Sophia might have gone a bit overboard on the candles and then she grinned and shrugged. A person can't really have too much candlelight._

_ Songbird, River, Lucky, Carol and Andrea all went to get ready. Songbird was shaking with so much excitement that Andrea and Lucky had to help her with the updo she wanted and into the dress._

_ Daryl stood at the front of the church, shifting his weight and wishing he hadn't promised Songbird that he wouldn't smoke at the wedding._

_ "You'll make it boy," Bo said, patting Daryl's shoulder. "This is the longest wait of your whole damn life, but you'll make it."_

_ "I don't know," Merle drawled. "He looks kinda sick to me."_

_ "Don't lock your knees," Rick informed him. "You'll hit the ground."_

_ "That's true," Freddy verified. "It's because your brain thinks that you've lost a limb…"_

_ "Shut it," Daryl cut in. "God I feel sick."_

_ "Told ya," Merle crowed triumphantly. "Takin' bets on how long it takes him to puke."_

_ "He'll be fine," Rick said with a sigh. "They should be out soon."_

_ Daryl chewed his lower lip, then his thumbnail, then he jiggled his leg._

_ "Calm down," Bo said. "The music's about to start."_

_ "Oh fuck. Oh God," Daryl muttered._

_ Bo thumped him in the back. "Don't say fuck in church."_

_ "Yes sir," Daryl responded out of habit._

_ The music started. Lucky, River, Carol, and Andrea walked down the aisle, followed by Sophia, tossing petals seriously, looking like she was on a mission and Carl who was carrying the rings._

_ Then Songbird appeared in the doorway, on Tony's arm. Nerves vanished and suddenly Daryl was eager to get started. She looked beautiful._

_ Songbird tightened her grip on Papa Tony's arm and looked up at him._

_ "You're even more beautiful today principessa," he declared and she was shocked to see tears shining in his eyes. "He'll take good care of you. And if he doesn't…well…" he smiled as they came to a stop. "He'll see the true of importance of la familia, eh?"_

_ "Who gives this woman?" the priest intoned as Songbird grinned up at Papa Tony._

_ "Her mother and I," Tony answered. "Bouna fortuna bella principessa," he whispered as he left her side._

_ Good luck, beautiful princess. She took a deep breath and walked up to stand beside Daryl. They spoke the simple vows the priest asked them to repeat after him and then exchanged the rings they'd bought each other._

_ "By the power vested in me by the state of South Carolina, I now pronounce you husband and wife," the priest declared. "You may now kiss the bride."_

_ Daryl cupped Songbird's face in his hands for a brief moment, just looking down at her and reveling in the fact that she was his forever before he kissed her, putting his hand around the back of her neck and taking his time, not really caring that they were in a church full of people. When they broke apart and turned to face the crowd, the priest continued, "I present to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Daryl Dixon."_

_ Songbird slipped her arm through Daryl's and they walked out. The others followed them in order: Lucky and Merle, because Merle had been Daryl's best man, River and Freddy, Andrea and Bo, and Carol and Rick._

_ Papa Tony had rented a limo for the couple and they rode back to the circus, everyone still in their wedding clothes. The big tent was up and when they went in, Songbird clapped her hands to her mouth. It was set up for a party. There was a DJ and special lights, and all the wedding guests were pouring in._

_ "I…I thought…" she began._

_ Daryl kissed her, "Hey, I gotta surprise you a little bit. I knew you wanted a party. You always want a party. Tony offered. Wouldn't let me turn him down. Not that I would have. Wanna dance Mrs. Dixon?"_

_ The party, thrown by an Italian and attended by people who knew how to make a good time count, lasted way into the night and since Rick was there, no one was worried about the cops getting called. Eventually everyone came to give the bride their congratulations and say good bye._

_ Songbird and Daryl said their goodbyes and thank you's until eventually everyone except Lucky, Rick, Catherine, Tony, River, Merle, and Bo were gone._

_ "Great party," Lucky offered, buffing her nails on her dress. "Of course, I did help organize it…"_

_ Songbird hugged her and said, "Thank you for everything, Lucky."_

_ "See you later," Lucky replied with a wave. "Call me when you're done enjoying newlywed sex."_

_ "Could be a while," Daryl remarked casually, fist bumping Rick as he and Lucky headed out._

_ "We'd better get to bed too," Catherine said, gesturing at River who was nearly asleep on her feet. "You've never looked more beautiful."_

_ Songbird hugged her mama tightly and only cried a little bit. Catherine hugged Daryl too and said, "You take care of her. She's still my little girl, even if she is your wife."_

_ "I'd never let anything happen to her," Daryl reassured her._

_ "I believe that," Tony said, stepping up. "That's why I let you marry her."_

_ "And I'll take care of her as long as I'm alive," Daryl said, shaking Tony's hand and returning River's hug._

_ "See you later brother-in-law," River said with a grin._

_ "Yeah," he answered smiling back at her. "Get some rest kid."_

_ "You didn't puke," Merle informed him. "I lost ten bucks to that prick Freddy."_

_ "You deserve it," Daryl replied._

_ "Why would Daryl throw up?" Songbird asked. "Were you feeling sick?"_

_ "I felt the same way when I married Florence," Bo intervened. "I nearly keeled over before she got to the altar. I think a man feels like that when he looks his destiny in the face. Let's get a move on Merle…damn state won't let me drive anymore…come here, honey," Bo pulled Songbird into an embrace and whispered, "You've got his heart in your hands…be careful with it and good to him. And welcome to the Dixon family."_

_ "I will," Songbird whispered back. "And thank you."_

_ When everyone was gone, Daryl put his arm around her shoulders and she leaned against him._

_ "Did it turn out like you wanted?" he asked._

_ "Better than I could have hoped," she answered. "Nothing went wrong! And I got to be married to the man I love. All in all, this may be the best day ever."_

_ Daryl kissed the top of Songbird's head and said, "I think you're right."_

"What do you think?"

"I like it," Daryl answered honestly. "Sorta perfect actually."

Songbird agreed wholeheartedly. It might have only been a story, but it made keeping Daryl's last name seem more real.


	38. Chapter 36

Songbird was relieved that Daryl had remembered allergy medicine by the time spring blew in with full force. If Lucky didn't have her outside getting the garden ready to plant, Daryl had her out there training Michelangelo. Michelangelo was a model dog for Daryl and he tried hard for Songbird but some days were worse than others. Days like today where he'd: dragged her for their walk, chased a rogue goat that was only saved by Shane's quick reflexes, tried to break into the chicken pen when Carol went in to feed them, and just now, conveyed a recent misunderstanding of the word "sit." Instead he'd decided she must mean, "Surprise me with a bear hug!" Songbird had been surprised. She was so surprised that she lost her balance and she was now looking up at his doggy grin.

"You know what your problem is Michelangelo?" Songbird asked, propping on her elbows. "You are a chauvinist."

He licked her face.

"See? I bet it you could talk you'd call me sweetheart."

He tilted his head and she went on, "I know Daryl calls me darlin'. But that's different."

Michelangelo sat and appraised her in that silent "I'm a Rhodesian Ridgeback" way he had. She sighed and stood up, rubbing his head.

"All right. We'll agree to disagree about you calling me sweetheart. But only because," Songbird adopted the sickeningly sweet baby voice Michelangelo hated. "You're my baby! I wuvs my wittle Michelangelo, yes I do!"

She laughed when he turned and walked away with slow dignity.

"You don't wuv me?" she called after him, looking wounded as she clutched her heart.

"No wonder he don't listen to a damn thing you say."

Songbird decided not to the let the sarcastic southern drawl ruin her performance. She spun to face Daryl and cried, "What have I done that thou darest wag thy tongue in noise so rude against me?"

Before he could answer, she pressed the back of her hand to her forehead and collapsed extravagantly. She remained still for a while, and a few moments after she felt Daryl's shadow cover her, she peeked up at him.

"Which one's that from?" he asked.

"Hamlet," she replied.

"You ain't right," he informed her, stretching his hand down to help her up. "In the head I mean."

She grabbed his hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet.

"But you know you love me," she said with a grin.

"Yeah." Daryl spun her around and dusted her off, maybe with a little more enthusiasm than he needed, and then put his arms around her as he went on, "But seriously darlin', you gotta make sure he obeys everything you say."

"I'm working on it!" she protested. "He's a chauvinist. Really. We just had that talk."

"He ain't a chauvinist. You're a pushover. Call him; he's fuckin' around at the chicken pen again." Daryl informed her.

"Michelangelo!" Songbird called.

To her extreme shock, he turned immediately and trotted right over…to Daryl.

"Well, he came when you called him," Daryl offered when she cocked an eyebrow at both of them. "Keep workin' on it darlin'."

She sighed and nodded. She knew Daryl was right…but that didn't make a chauvinistic horse-sized dog any easier to train. She went back to their training exercises while she thought about how things were moving along at the compound.

Mostly everyone had read her history and to her shock, everyone had accepted her just as she was. She felt a little silly for hiding it for so long in fact. The guys had been having planning sessions that Daryl had complained about having to sit it on. She could tell by the nature of his complaints that he actually didn't care. Rumor had it that Shane wanted to hit up the strip mall again, Rick and Dale wanted to reinforce the fences. Daryl wanted to hunt. And he was really the only one who got what he wanted, because the woods were close and the roads were still too snow covered to drive on. Southerners don't equip snow tires. Songbird was happy that Daryl took Lucky hunting with him, because, while she could kill to eat, she didn't exactly prefer it. She spent a good bit of time with Freddy, because Vicky, having given up on Daryl had latched on to him. She still hated Songbird so she didn't bother Freddy when he was with her.

The next time Michelangelo knocked her down she'd had enough. She grabbed his collar and walked him to the doghouse. He looked up at her sadly.

"Quit looking at me like that! It's your own fault; you're sexist and I have had enough!"

"So, he's being condescending again, is he?" Lucky asked.

"Ah! You've noticed it too!" Songbird answered wryly.

"Only when he talks to you. You are the only person who hears him after all," Lucky said with an arched eyebrow.

"Whatever! You know it's true," She walked over to Lucky as she spoke and they headed for the house. "I haven't seen much of you lately."

"I've been busy I guess," Lucky answered with a shrug.

"Yeah," Songbird made a sweeping gesture, encompassing the farm. "What with all this… and Rick."

"Yeah. I do..um… do Rick a lot.," Lucky grinned.

"And who could blame you? I told you it was all pros, didn't I? Not a single con to be seen! Depending on how you do it," Songbird remembered that whole other thing. She'd been meaning to talk to Lucky about that anyway.

"What does that mean?" Lucky sounded surprised. "It's great no matter how I do it… and that's saying something… it turns out I'm kind of a freak in the sack."

"Yeah. I know," Songbird went down the ladder quickly and then called up."You and Rick can be freaky on your own time, just stop giving Daryl horrible ideas."

Lucky slid down after her and raised an eyebrow. This was not a conversation Songbird wanted to have in public, so she dragged Lucky into the command center and closed the door firmly.

"I don't know how it works for you, but there are areas of my body that are pretty much exit only," Songbird felt herself blush.

"Hmm." Lucky gave her an appraising look. "I just don't think you did it right."

"What other way is there to do it?" Songbird questioned in annoyance, throwing her hands up and turning around planning to sit in the chair on the other side of the room."Oh my God!"

She hadn't noticed Daryl before. His arms were crossed over his chest and he was giving her a look of combined horror and betrayl. And he was blushing. Never in all the time she'd known him had she seen Daryl blush. She hadn't thought he could. She covered her face with both hand and said, "I am so sorry! Why didn't you tell me you were here?"

"I was kinda hopin' this was just a bad dream," Daryl finally informed her, aware that he probably looked as shocked as he felt.

"Look, none of that matters!" Lucky cut in, walking over to sit next to him and looking at both of them clinically. "The real issue is that you two are making a horrible mistake and I need to rectify it immediately!"

Songbird giggled at Lucky saying 'rectify'. Daryl did not. He'd switched his dirty look to Lucky. She was supposed to be his hunting buddy and know she was analyzing his bedroom performance.

"I mean, I know from experience that it… is…wonderful…" Lucky took a moment to share a very satisfied grin with both of them. "And you two must have really fucked it up. So… tell me what went wrong."

"No." Daryl said, with finality.

That was ruined as Songbird dramatically cried, "How could it ever be right? It just isn't… natural!"

"Mm-hmm," Daryl watched Lucky nod and steeple her fingers, giving them a sage glance. "I see. And did you clench?"

"I am not going to answer that!" Songbird decreed.

Daryl decided two could play at that game and cut in with, "Yeah, she did."

"And did you use a lubricant of any variety?" Lucky seemed to be enjoying her new found role as compound sex therapist, even picking up a notepad and a pen, looking for all the world like she was taking notes on the details of their situation.

Songbird clamped her mouth shut and leaned against the wall unwilling to participate further in this discussion.

Daryl gestured at Songbird and said, "Kinda."

"Daryl!" Songbird was totally humiliated. "We had a deal!"

"Okay, so just to be clear, you didn't really use lube and you clenched up. I can see why you stopped there, but…"

"She didn't tell me…she didn't tell me and she cried… and… and she didn't tell me!" Daryl cut in giving Songbird a meaningful look.

"You mean…" Lucky was the one who seemed horrified now. "Damn it Songbird, you idiot!"

"Haven't I been punished enough?" Songbird was nearly in tears. "There is a lot of him and I am a tiny little person."

"Right," Lucky nodded. "So, if you ever decide to try this again…" Daryl snorted and Songbird gave a derisive laugh under her breath. "You might want to get your communication in order, along with lots of lube and even more foreplay. That is the key; being ready for it via relaxation and lube. I really can't stress that enough."

"And where would I get all that lube you keep talkin' about?" Daryl forced his voice to sound uninterested and sarcastic, even though he was wondering…

"Well, if you really need it, I have plenty… I stocked up on it on our last looting trip," Lucky informed him.

And Songbird used to consider Lucky her best friend.

Daryl raised his eyebrow at Songbird.

"No! No! Never again!"

"Pussy," Lucky said softly, but not so softly that Songbird didn't hear her.

"What did you just call me?" Songbird didn't wait for Lucky to answer before she said, "Fine. Go get it then."

Lucky winked at Daryl before she left the room. He turned his gaze to Songbird and said, "Just what the hell happened to our deal? The deal about general compliments?"

"I wasn't telling her you're terrible…I was saying it was terrible!"

"That ain't no different," Daryl informed her. "You can't just go around sayin' stuff like that in a place like this! Pretty soon everybody's gonna think that I don't know what the hell I'm doin' and I swear to God, if that prick Freddy says one goddamn thing to me about this, I'm gonna make you walk around with duct tape over your mouth!"

"Yeah right," Songbird scoffed. "I doubt Lucky will say anything to anybody! You're taking this so personally and it's not a personal thing!"

"Not personal? You're complainin' about the way I fuck you and it ain't personal? How the hell is it not personal?"

"It's not personal because I didn't say it was your fault; I just said it wasn't good!" Songbird stressed every word.

"Yeah well…" Daryl began and then stopped when Lucky walked in and tossed him a clear plastic bottle.

"Don't stop on my account. From what I've seen of the two of you, this is your best foreplay session yet."

Daryl stood up determinedly.

"All right. Let's go."

Songbird pressed herself tighter against the wall and squeaked, "Wha… right now?"

"Yep," he walked over and cupped his hand around the back of her neck, leading her out of the command center.

"Ahh, young love." Lucky teased.

"I didn't hate you before… but I will let you know where we stand later." Songbird muttered.

"You're going want to thank me," she called.

Songbird was shaking by the time they got to their bedroom. She emphatically did not want to do this.

"You need to relax," Daryl said.

"You're mad at me!" she cried out. "And you only want to do this to punish me!"

"No," Daryl sighed. "I want to do it to prove that I can."

She stared at him for a moment and then burst out laughing. She could tell that he was serious.

"That's all it is? Did I hurt your pride that bad?"

He shrugged.

"I feel really bad for hurtin' you before," he said. "And…uh…I kinda wanna be good at it."

"You'll stop if I ask you to?" she asked, chewing her lip.

"Yeah."

"You promise?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," she sighed. "Go ahead."

"Oh, it's gonna take awhile," he informed her, locking the bedroom door and pulling her to him, kissing her, teasing her with his tongue until she was breathing hard and gripping him tightly.

He threw her over his shoulder and carried her to the back of the room, then dropped her onto one of the lower bunks. They undressed each other slowly, kissing and touching almost lazily. Songbird actually did feel relaxed, to her surprise. Daryl didn't miss an inch of her body with his kisses and she didn't even notice when he flipped her over onto her stomach, because his lips moved up her back from the base of her spine to the back of her neck in a way that he'd never done it before. Her whole body was tingling.

Daryl lay down behind her, kissing her neck. She went tense when she felt him press against her.

"Relax darlin'," he said. "I ain't doin' nothin' yet."

She relaxed, resting her head on his shoulder as he kissed up to just underneath her ear, while his hand moved down. It was just like the night in the truck in Georgia…she closed her eyes in pleasure, only opening them when she felt the coldness of the lube on her skin.

Daryl felt her body jerk in surprise, but other than that, she didn't move away. He figured that he might have gone a little overboard with it, but as big of a deal as Lucky had made about the stuff, he also figured it couldn't hurt. He poured a generous amount over himself too and then positioned them both on their sides, her back to his chest as he tugged her right leg up to rest on top of his.

Songbird bit her lip and took a deep breath.

Daryl forced his own muscles to relax as he held her, hoping that would help her somehow. Her tension faded as he kissed her. She was surprised by how turned on she was, even though she figured she would not be getting off. When Daryl heard her moan, he pushed forward slightly.

"Daryl…" she began, instantly clenching every muscle.

He didn't move again, instead he just hugged her, kissing her neck as he said, "It's okay."

She relaxed after a moment and he pushed in a bit deeper, stopping when she gasped. He slid his hand around and began rubbing her slowly as he kissed her again, just holding her to his chest without moving.

Songbird surprised herself a few moments later by arching her back, taking him a deeper on her own. Daryl must have been surprised to because she felt his muscles go tense as he struggled not to jerk forward.

"So?" he asked, trying to make his voice sound relaxed. "Better this time?"

"Still weird," she answered honestly. "But _way_ better."

"Good."

It took a while, but eventually she took all of him. He'd mostly let her handle that, preferring to let her move on him than take the chance of hurting her again. She exhaled when she realized that she was laying flat against him…that all of him was inside her…and there wasn't really any pain. Of course, he was still teasing her with his free hand and being on the verge of an orgasm made the whole process a lot easier.

"You all right?" Daryl asked roughly.

"Yeah," she answered, sounding as surprised as she felt. "I really am."

"Can I…"

"Slow," she said shyly. "Go slowly please."

He kept his thrusts small and slow, rubbing her a bit faster, enjoying the fact that she was gasping with pleasure this time. It still felt different and way better just from knowing that she was enjoying it this time around. Her body went tense and he was worried until he realized that it was only because she was cumming.

"Daryl!"

Thank God. He didn't feel any need to drag the process out, so while she was still cumming, he pushed in once or twice more and joined her.

Songbird felt him bury his face in her hair and felt his muscles tighten as he came. He stayed where he was, catching his breath and wrapping his arms around her slender frame. She closed her eyes and matched her breathing to his, relaxing slowly.

"Wow. That so wasn't terrible," she murmured after a moment.

"And you aren't cryin'," Daryl sounded extremely satisfied. "Shower?"

"Sure," she answered.

Neither of them moved for several more long moments though. She liked being held the way he was holding her, and he enjoyed feeling this close to her.

They were headed back to the room after their shower later on when Shane called them from down the hall.

"Hey. Lucky heard somebody on the radio again. Area Two this time. She wants us all to go in there and talk about it."

Daryl didn't know what there was to say. Area 3 hadn't been an inspiring place. And Area 2 was rumored to be worse. When they got there, Lucky told everyone that a person had come over the radio saying that a woman in Area 2 was having childbirth issues and that they needed help.

The discussion was more heated than Songbird had expected. Lori and Lucky were on the same side for the first time in recorded history, probably due to Lori's own pregnancy.

Daryl disagreed, saying "They got themselves into that mess, they can get themselves out."

"We have it so easy here," Lucky said passionately. "Even with all of the work we have to put into it, we are lucky to have what we have. I don't want to put anyone in danger either, but people are already in danger and I can't just sit idly by while they die. And not just die, but suffer until they finally just shut down."

Songbird was surprised when tears began running down Lucky's cheeks.

"So, we're supposed to go running every time somebody out there calls for help?" Daryl asked. It wasn't that he didn't care, it was that he didn't care that much. "That's just stupid if you ask me."

"I didn't," Lucky informed him. "And it isn't like there are a whole lot of people left out there to call for help anyway."

"And what's your plan?" Shane asked.

"Well, we go; we deliver the baby; we bring them back home, or take them to Area three. I guess we can leave that up to them." Lucky counted on her fingers, making it seem simple in the way that only Lucky could.

"Yeah, that sounds real easy," Daryl was still unconvinced.

"We also have to remember that Area two had been nearly completely overtaken by walkers," Dale put in.

"And is anybody here even familiar with delivering a baby? I mean, doing like a doctor's job, I know you guys delivered babies before." Glenn asked, indicating Carol and Lori.

"I can do it. I've been delivering livestock since I was ten and how different is it really?" Freddy shrugged nonchalantly.

"I would imagine that would be harder. I mean… babies don't have hooves." Songbird nodded. The looks from the other women informed her that their opinions differed, but Lucky went on before they could school Songbird in childbirth.

"So, Freddy and I can go then."

"Not without me, you aren't," Rick crossed his arms.

"I really want to go since I didn't get to go last time." Songbird said quickly, before the group was full. "I'm a circus performer, dammit! I need to travel!"

Daryl jerked her around and said, "I didn't let you go to Area 3 and we thought that was safe. What makes you think I'd let you go now when we know that place is crawlin' with walkers?"

Songbird was groping for the words to explain that she needed Daryl to stop being so overprotective when Freddy snorted and said, "Here we go."

"You got something to say to me, boy?" Daryl questioned slowly.

"Look, you're the one that keeps telling yourself that she's an adult and that what you're doing is okay; but I think that we can all agree that you haven't really treated her like a grown up this whole time. Let her make her own damn decisions, it isn't like she can't handle herself out there. Have a little faith in the _woman _you _claim_ to be in love with," Freddy spoke pretty passionately as well.

Songbird stared at him, verging on tears of happiness as she turned to face Daryl. Her voice was shaky but she tried to look firm as she said, "Look, I respect your opinion, but it is my decision to make and if the rest of the party has no objections I would like to tag along."

"I don't see how it's any of your business what my girl does," Daryl threw at Freddy before dealing with her. "If you really wanna go, then I guess I have to go too, but I ain't gonna pretend like I think it's right."

Not exactly what she'd been hoping for, but if she did well on the trip then maybe she could prove herself to Daryl. All she did was nod silently.

"So, anybody else?" Lucky invited, glancing around at everyone.

"I ain't got a lot of room in the truck and we're bringin' people back. I think five is plenty." Daryl growled, ready to be out of the room.

Lucky and Freddy began getting things together and Songbird glanced at Daryl.

"Please don't be mad at me," she began.

"When did you change your mind?" Daryl asked bluntly.

"About what?" 

"Lettin' me keep you safe. Now you're wantin' Freddy to speak for you?"

"Don't say it like that! I just…I want you to let me speak for myself. But you get me all rattled and I don't know how to say the things I want to say. Daryl…I need you, but I think there's a difference between protection and keeping me locked away. I want to be respected and treated as an equal, not your little girl."

Daryl didn't answer; he just headed up to clean out the bed of his truck. He was confused. An hour ago, he'd never felt closer to her and now…he hadn't missed the way Freddy's eyes had lingered on her, or the way Songbird's eyes had sparkled at him.


	39. Chapter 37

The trip was long and really kind of boring. Daryl brought the dog, so Freddy refused to ride in the back. Songbird looped her fingers through Michelangelo's collar and rested her head on the big dog. Daryl couldn't drive around all the obstructions in the road so there were several times when everyone had to get out and push cars. Daryl still wasn't really speaking to her, and Songbird was beginning to feel almost sick with anxiety. She didn't know why, but this whole trip was suddenly seeming like a terrible idea. Even more so when they got to a bridge covered by vehicles of all varieties; Daryl saw each one as a potential death trap, and he really, really wished that they were back at the compound.

"I don't like this," Rick muttered.

"It's not like we haven't had to get out of the truck before now," Freddy scoffed, "And we're lucky we still have some daylight left."

"I don't know," Lucky replied. "I have a bad feeling about this too."

Songbird nodded glad that she wasn't the only one. She inched a little closer to Daryl as he said, "We still have a chance to go back home… where we oughta be."

He didn't really expect anyone to take him up on his offer, but it would be nice to have nothing more to bitch over than wasting some gasoline on a pointless trip.

"No," Lucky was determined. "We've already lost so much time. I just hope Liz hasn't… well, I just hope we have time to help."

"All right then," Daryl adjusted the crossbow over his shoulder and went on, "Let's get a move on."

They all headed over the bridge, stepping carefully and looking into the abandoned cars. Lucky stopped moving suddenly and Rick turned to see why, just as Freddy noticed some Walkers and gave an involuntary sound of surprise.

"Keep moving," Rick ordered her.

Daryl turned, and saw Songbird toss two knives almost casually into the Walker's skulls. Freddy shot a third, and then retrieved his arrow and her knives.

"Those fuckers came out of nowhere!" he said, sounding shocked.

Daryl wondered what the hell he'd expected.

"Damn it, Freddy! Are you okay?" Lucky asked, noticing the rip in his shirt and yanking it up to check for injuries.

"Yeah, they didn't touch me. Almost… but you know I'm untouchable, Lucy," he bragged.

"Right," Lucky replied rolling her eyes just before Rick raised his gun and fired quickly.

"Run!" he shouted, grabbing Lucky before she could even unshoulder her bow to aim at the sudden hoard of Walkers.

Daryl yanked Songbird against him and ran, actually catching up and moving past Rick and Lucky. Michelangelo followed rapidly; Daryl had trained him to run when he ran.

"I told y'all we shoulda stayed home!" Daryl yelled, not wanting to die with his thoughts unheard.

"Shut up and move!" Rick shouted back, still trying to drag Lucky.

"Just go! I'm right behind you and I promise I won't do anything stupid," Lucky shouted.

When Daryl got to the gate it was still closed. Goddamnit!

"Let us in!" he yelled.

Songbird was just catching her breath when a short balding guy came charging out of the building to open the gate.

"Hurry up!" the guy shouted.

Once everyone was inside Daryl, Rick and Freddy helped the short guy slam the gate just in time to stop the hoard.

"Where the fuckin' hell were you?" Daryl spun around to face the short guy.

"I could see you from the window. I didn't want to be out here…" the guy was practically stuttering as everyone simply stared at him.

"Just take us to Liz," Lucky mumbled.

Ed, the short guy, tried to play tour guide, but nobody gave a damn so eventually he shut up, leading them to the room where the woman was.

"Shaun is in there with her. I hope you know what you're doing because she's been at it for days."

Freddy walked into the room looking cool and confident and Lucky followed him. Daryl saw a bench in the corner and sat down away from all the baby related pain. Songbird leaned against the wall, wishing that she knew enough to be helpful, but she knew she'd just be in the way. She called Michelangelo and he obediently came over to her. He seemed to behave better in a strange environment. Or maybe he could sense her tension as time went by.

Later when Lucky left the room Songbird caught her hand. "What's happening?"

"Um, the baby is on the outside, and his mother is feeding him," Lucky replied.

"It's a boy? Aww! How cute!" Songbird had wanted a boy when she thought she might be pregnant.

"Sure, if you say so. Where did Shaun go?"

"Third door on the left," Daryl told Lucky.

He was sort of dismayed when Songbird walked into the room where the baby was. The baby and that prick Freddy. Daryl was seriously on the verge on going back on his word and hating that guy.

"Thanks," Lucky said, saluting him and heading out to find the dad.

After the small family was settled, the group was offered the chance to stay the night and due to the fact that nobody wanted to cross Walker stomping grounds in the dark, they accepted. Daryl and Songbird were shown to a pallet in the corner, and after he took the dog out to piss, he lay down beside her. She sighed in disappointment when, for the first time since they'd started sleeping together, he didn't pull her against him.

She turned over after a few minutes of stiff silence.

"Daryl?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you still mad at me?"

"I never said I was mad at you."

"You didn't have to. You've barely spoken to me all night. I can't take this," Songbird knew she sounded desperate, but she felt desperate. She didn't want Daryl to be suspicious of her friendship with Freddy, who she really liked. Like being the operative word.

"Just didn't have a lot to talk about. And the pussy was in the front seat cause of the dog."

"You only brought Michelangelo because he scares Freddy," she pointed out.

"That ain't true; I been trainin' him to hunt. Might as well test it out," Daryl argued, even though she'd pretty much hit the nail on the head.

"I'm scared," she admitted.

"Can't nothin' get in here," Daryl informed her.

"I don't care about Walkers. I'm scared I'm losing you."

Daryl sighed as she, as always, melted his defenses with her honesty.

"You ain't losin' me. It just pissed me that he said that. And that you…that you looked at him that way."

"I like Freddy, Daryl," Songbird said. "But I'm not in love with him…"

"Yeah, well I don't think he feels the same way," Daryl told her. "He's…"

"I can't change the way Freddy feels," Songbird cut in. "If I could, I would. I don't want him to feel that way about me when I'll never feel that way about him."

Her tone was so firm that Daryl allowed himself to believe. He reached out and pulled her to him and she snuggled in.

"I love you, Daryl."

"I love you too," he answered, burying his fingers in her hair and listening as her breaths deepened with sleep.

He wished he could shake the feeling that something was wrong. If it wasn't Songbird leaving him, what could it be?

The next morning the compound offered them a breakfast that everyone turned down. These people were nearly starving as it was. Shaun and Liz had asked permission to return with them and since the woman was so weak from blood loss and the newborn would need her milk, they had agreed. Apparently Ed went where Shaun went, so he'd just blandly followed as they got ready to leave.

Shaun pulled Lucky to the side and said, "I think that I should tell you that Ed…he…uh… he rigged the bridge with some explosives we found in the armory here."

"What?" Lucky asked.

Daryl read shock on her face and stepped over to the two of them.

"We didn't know if any help was coming and it seemed like a logical way to limit access from those things," Shaun went on.

"_What_ seemed like a logical way?" Daryl questioned, not liking the way Shaun's gaze kept shifting.

"They have explosives on the bridge," Lucky informed him.

"So that thing could have blown the entire time we were on it yesterday?" Daryl yelled. Everyone in the hallway turned to look at him.

"No, no, nothing like that. You have to be out there to do it; we didn't have anything to really detonate it with but a fuse," Shaun hurried to explain.

"So where do we stand on the whole explosive thing now?" Freddy asked. "Are we still going to be safe going over the bridge to get home?"

"Fuck yeah!" Ed cut in. "My bomb is the bomb! No worries!"

Daryl thought that Ed was idiot, and he was relieved when Rick gave everyone the order to move out. He was eager to get the hell back home. Ed and Shaun walked up at the front with Daryl, Rick, Lucky and Songbird. Freddy was assisting the new mother and her baby as they walked over the bridge.

"I could use some help here!" Freddy called suddenly.

Songbird was at the back of the group and as she turned around she could see that Liz was close to fainting. She jogged back quickly and took the baby as Freddy scooped Liz into his arms. When she turned back she gasped in surprise. Daryl looked back at Songbird and saw Walkers dividing the group. Freddy's arms were full with the mother, Songbird's with the child. They couldn't even get to their weapons. When he turned to warn the others, he saw more geeks coming in the opposite direction.

"Fuck!" Daryl was nearly panicked. "Michelangelo, go to Songbird."

The dog understood the command and, for the first time, Daryl thought that he wouldn't want to meet the beast in a dark alley. Or a light one for that matter. Michelangelo took off soundlessly with a murderous glint in his eyes and jumped for the Walker closest to Songbird, taking it down and ripping it's spine free from the back of its neck, leaving it flopping on the bridge.

Shaun spun to run back to his wife, but he didn't get far before he collapsed. Daryl wasn't surprised, the man was gaunt with starvation and he'd been exhausted from the troubles his wife was having with the birth of their child.

Rick leaned down, shouting for Daryl to help him carry the man to the truck. If they could get there fast enough, they might make it. Ed started toward Freddy and Songbird who were trying desperately to hurry up. With only Michelangelo to fight, they weren't making much progress. Then he started back toward Daryl and Rick, who were putting Shaun in the truck, seeming unsure of which route was the safest.

Lucky saw Ed pull a lighter from his pocket and start to light the fuse, and she pulled him back.

"No you can't do that! There are still people on the bridge!" Lucky shouted.

"Fuck them!" Ed yelled. "If I don't do something we're all going to die."

"No, I'm not going to let you!" Lucky yanked Ed's arm back as hard as she could.

"Hurry up!" Rick yelled, "Lucky, get in the truck!"

Daryl saw that Songbird and Freddy weren't making much progress and ran toward them. Lucky noticed that Ed had moved away from her and grabbed Daryl as he moved past her.

"Oh god, he lit it," Lucky said.

Daryl's heart stopped.

Lucky ran forward, yelling, "Go back! Go back!" and waving her arm toward the jail. "The bridge is going to explode!"

Freddy spun around and yanked Songbird with him.

"No!" she wanted to scream but she couldn't. "Freddy, we can't leave them!"

"We can't stay," he yelled back at her.

Daryl saw them turn and run for the prison. There must be another way to get to that prison. He figured the best thing for him to do now was stay alive so he could get to her later. He turned and ran as the first of the explosions began, raining pieces of metal from the vehicles and glass as some windows exploded from the force of the sound. Daryl hoped his truck would make it. He thought he was parked far enough away to be okay. If the CDC explosion hadn't done the job, he didn't think anything would.

Rick watched in frustration as Lucky stayed where she was, watching to make sure her brother and Songbird got across safely. He couldn't yell for her over the noise of the explosion. She turned just a second too late to avoid the Walker that reached out to grab her arm. He saw her try to pull away, but it sank its teeth into her arm before she could. She raised her kilij and chopped its head off. Her eyes met Rick's for a moment and then she gazed down at the bite on her arm.

"No!" Rick shouted, starting toward her.

Lucky dug around in her pocket and pulled out a joint, lighting it and puffing several times. Daryl grabbed Rick and pulled him back. She looked at Rick and said, "I love you and I'm so sorry."

She closed her eyes and after a second of silence, she flicked the joint into the puddle of gas at her feet that streamed out toward the edges of the bridge where the other explosives were.

The fire ignited the rest of the explosives and sent flames into the air with a deafening report. Daryl could see Rick's lips moving as he shouted, uselessly for Lucky, who was engulfed in flames. Daryl's throat closed as his hunting buddy collapsed.

"We gotta go!" Daryl yelled, aware that Rick probably couldn't hear him any better than he could hear Rick. "We gotta go."

Rick shook his head, still fighting to get out of Daryl's grip. The fire was spreading and if it hit that tanker they'd all go up in flames. Daryl braced his feet and punched Rick in the jaw.

"She died for nothin' if you don't move!"

Rick staggered and Daryl wondered if he'd lose him too. With one last glance at the flames, he turned and ran for the truck and Daryl followed. He cranked the truck and slammed it into gear, backing up over what was left of the bridge, and yanking the wheel into a hard turn. He floored it onto the pavement just as the tanker blew.

Rick covered his face with his hands and choked, nearly throwing up. Lucky was gone. Lucky was gone.

Daryl yanked open the split glass and said, "There's another way across right? We gotta get Songbird!"

"No," Ed said flatly, seeming preoccupied. "That was the last bridge. There's no way unless you feel like scaling a canyon full of those things."

"What?" Daryl bellowed, nearly swerving off the road.

"We had to keep ourselves safe didn't we?" Ed protested. "Didn't know you'd be coming to rescue us."

"We did not come to rescue you!" Daryl snarled. "We came to do a goddamn good deed! And look what the fuck happened! Because of you and your goddamn bomb!" Daryl slammed the brake and shoved the truck into park, flinging his door open and dragging Ed out of the truck bed. "Do you know what you did? You killed her! It's your fault she's dead!" Daryl's voice went rough as he remembered Lucky. Much like Merle, she'd always been so goddamn cocky that he's believed her to be untouchable. He drove his fist into Ed's gut and would have done more, except that, when Ed bent over to catch his breath, Daryl saw blood staining the back of his shirt. "What the fuck?" Daryl grabbed the shirt and ripped it, staring down at the distinct Walker bite. "You fuckin' pussy! You were just gonna ride around in my fuckin' truck till you turned?" Daryl backhanded him.

Rick appeared at the back of the truck.

"He's bit," Daryl said again.

"I heard," Rick replied in a dead sounding voice. "I'm glad to have a good reason to do this."

He reached out and grabbed Ed by the throat, throwing him to the ground.

"You were dead the minute that thing bit her," Rick said.

There wasn't time for anyone else to speak before Rick pulled his gun and put a bullet in Ed's brain. Daryl's breath went out in a 'whoosh' and he stared at his friend in shock.

"Let's go," Rick said, leaving Ed where he was, in an ever expanding pool of blood.

They got back into the truck and drove to the compound. Once they were nearly there, they realized Shaun wasn't going to wake up. Neither of them was exactly sure when he'd died, but it had happened. They weren't in a state to do anything with the poor man, so they lay him out in the woods and Daryl put a bolt in his brain, not taking any chances before they went back to the compound.

Shane, in the watchtower, told T to go let everyone know the group was back, but he headed down the stairs at a run a few seconds later when the only people who exited the vehicle were Daryl and Rick.

The group met them in the cabin shell. The two men looked shell shocked and as close to tears as men ever allowed themselves to look. They smelled like smoke and Rick was shaking.

"What happened?" Lori gasped when she saw him.

"Lucky's…" Rick's voice broke.

"Lucky died to save us," Daryl said, his own voice not holding up much better.

Carol put her hand over her mouth.

"Where is everybody else?" Glenn asked.

Daryl forced himself to explain the situation.

"And now there ain't no way to get to her," he finished. "Yet. I'm gonna find one. She was alive. It was just Lucky…she's the only one who didn't make it."

Freddy wondered if he'd have to slap Songbird. He'd never seen her lose it like this. He would have tried before, but Michelangelo wouldn't let anybody near the girl. She was in the corner sobbing. There were no tears left, and she'd already thrown up everything in her stomach, outside luckily, but she still continued to dry heave as she choked out sobs.

"Songbird!" Freddy called. "You have to calm down! I'm sure there's a way out…" he was actually positive that there wasn't, but that wasn't information she needed in this frame of mind.

She shook her head, aware that she sounded very childlike as she said, "I want Daryl! Oh god, Freddy, what if they didn't make it? What was that other explosion?"

"All right," he got his nerve together. "I'm coming over there and if that dog eats me…"

"He doesn't want to eat you," she gasped out. "Sit, Michelangelo."

The dog sat, resting his head on her shoulder. She began sobbing again when she realized he'd obeyed her without question. Daryl had been right. Daryl was always right. She should have stayed home!

Freddy sat on her other side and patted her shoulder.

"Now Songbird you need to calm down okay? They're fine. You know Lucky wouldn't let anything happen to them. We'll find a way back to them okay?"

Eventually her tears stopped and she actually fell asleep. Freddy stood and walked over to one of the other men, a guy named Paul who seemed to be in charge.

"There's really no way out?"

"Not unless you climb through the ravine," Paul said with a shake of his head.

"Oh god, she's gonna flip," Freddy rubbed his face. "I guess we'll be climbing soon."

"You can't do that!" the man looked shocked. "You'll die!"

Freddy shrugged and said, "If I don't go with her, she'll go by herself. I can't let anything happen to her. Do you have any rope? We might need it for the dog."

"Why don't you just wait and see if they come back for you?" Paul asked uncertainly.

"You just said it wouldn't matter," Freddy reminded him. "The quicker we get started the quicker we can get home."

Songbird didn't wake up until it was nearly dark and when she reached sleepily for Daryl and encountered only the dog, tears threatened to overwhelm her again.

"Hey," Freddy said softly. "We need to talk and I need you to be calm."

"I'm calm," she said, sighing and hooking her fingers into Michelangelo's collar again.

Freddy brushed her hair back and explained the situation.

"So, we can stay here, or we can risk the ravine. It'll take a while to walk home from here because according to the people here we're going to have to walk along on this side for about two weeks before we even get to a place where we can climb. Maybe further. It's up to you."

"I want to go home," Songbird said firmly. "If Daryl can't get to me, I'm going to get to him."

"I got some rope for the dog," was all Freddy answered to that. "We'll leave in the morning."

"Thank you Freddy," she said as he started to get up.

"I'll always take care of you Songbird," Freddy told her, unable to resist brushing his fingers over her cheek once more.


	40. Chapter 38

That night Daryl crawled into his bunk, pulled Songbird's pillow to his chest and breathed in her scent. He'd find a way back to that jail in the morning. He'd get her back. It didn't stop him from wishing she was there in his arms right then. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Lucky go up in flames, calling her goodbye to Rick. It must have been a painful way to go, but she hadn't even screamed. He was proud of her at the same time that he wished she'd been just a little less confident.

Songbird and Freddy set out in the morning bright and early and it was pure hell. Songbird lost count of the near death experiences they had and that was before they even cheated death climbing into and out of the ravine. The only plus side was that Freddy was no longer terrified of Michelangelo; he was too exhausted to be scared of anything.

Daryl had scouted for a way across with no luck for weeks. It didn't help that he didn't know the area. Rick had gathered everyone earlier in the week and announced his intention of moving out. He hadn't exactly asked for anyone's opinion before he disappeared back into the bedroom he'd shared with Lucky. Daryl knew that he and Rick would have words if he attempted to make him leave without Songbird.

Later that day, to his surprise, Shane and T offered to go with him into the ravine and up the other side to get the Songbird. They had found rock climbing equipment in one of the storage buildings. Daryl took them up on the offer and they set out quickly. He was nearly shaking with eagerness. He'd been going nearly crazy thinking of how scared she must be without him. It had been three and a half weeks.

They arrived at the jail in one piece and Daryl yelled for them to let them in. The man who came out looked shocked to see Daryl.

"How did you…" he began, and then seemed to notice the climbing gear. "Are you here for Liz?"

"What?" Daryl belatedly realized that Liz probably didn't know that her husband was dead. "Oh. No. Shaun didn't make it. I ain't gonna be the one to tell her neither. I'm here for my girl. For Songbird."

The man swallowed hard and said, "She isn't here."

"What?" Daryl barked. "What the fuck you mean?"

"She and Freddy left the day after the explosion."

"The day after…" Daryl repeated. "But that's been nearly a month."

"I'm sorry," the man stepped back from the gate and walked away.

Shane caught Daryl when he started forward.

"It's not his fault."

T and Shane were a little surprised when Daryl turned to face them, looking like the old Daryl. The one everyone was a little wary of.

"Take your goddamn hands off me," Daryl growled. "Let's go then."

"You don't want to look around?" T-dog asked.

Daryl laughed derisively.

"Look around? For what exactly? Almost a month? Jesus do I need to spell it out for you? Ain't nothin' left of her by now."

"But you don't know…" T-dog began.

"One thing I do know," Daryl snarled. "It don't take a month to walk 30 miles. She's as dead as Rick's girl. Let's fuckin' move before we end up the same goddamn way."

Shane and T followed him back silently. When they arrived at the compound, Daryl left them to explain, pushing past everyone and heading for his room. He tried to push away the memories of her, to stop hearing her throaty laugh and sexy voice, to stop realizing that he'd never be inside her again, never feel her as she came in his arms, never hear her whispers of "I love you."

He couldn't breathe suddenly. He should never have given in! He should have just told her to stay. He should have protected her the way he'd always meant to.

"God just send her back," he begged. "Just give her back to me and I'll keep her safe, I'll always keep her safe. Just give her back…just give her back."

The next day dawned clear and warm and he sort of expected to see his girl walking up to the gate. She didn't. She didn't the next day either, or the day after that.

He couldn't take the hope anymore so the next time he saw Rick he said, "I'm with you. I'm gonna move out when you do."

Rick nodded and gathered the group.

"We're leaving," he said flatly. "If you don't want to come then I guess you can stay here. But we're hitting the road tomorrow."

"What about Songbird?" Glenn asked.

"Get it through your head," Daryl spat out. "She ain't comin' home. No point in sittin' here."

"But we're safe here," Carol ventured.

"I don't give a fuck who stays and who goes. But I ain't stayin' here." Daryl snarled before he walked out. He headed up to his truck and yanked open his last case of beer.

He'd downed about half the case when he heard something. He groaned aloud when he realized it was Vicky.

"Am I coming?" she asked.

"You didn't hear me say I don't give a fuck who stays and who goes?" Daryl questioned.

"I'm sorry about Songbird."

"No you ain't. You thought it was weird."

Vicky shrugged and said distastefully, "You're drunk."

"Goddamn right," Daryl replied, crumpling the can he'd just finished. "And I'm gonna be a hell of a lot drunker. What? You thought I wasn't the type?" He snorted. "Hell, you wanted to fuck me…and you don't know a damn thing about who I really am. Here's something I bet you don't know…" he stood unsteadily and walked over to her, gripping her shoulders. "I'd feed you to the Walkers if it'd bring her back. If I can only save one person's life why the hell did it have to be yours?"

"Let me go," she said, struggling.

He kept his grip hard and asked mockingly, "What? You don't want me no more? Poor little Vicky; you still don't know what the hell's goin' on do you? You better figure it the fuck out, otherwise you're gonna die. I know I sure as hell ain't goin' out of my way for nobody anymore. Am I scarin' you?" he asked when he felt her tremble.

"Yes," she admitted.

"Good. Get used to it," he pushed her back and said, "Now leave me the fuck alone and get in the goddamn house where you belong. I don't give a flyin' fuck if you stay, go, or die."

They left in the morning; the whole group had decided to go and Daryl was far from surprised when Vicky asked to be dropped at Area 3 on the way out. He glanced at the folder of pictures on the seat beside him. He really shouldn't have taken them; it only made the pain worse. But he couldn't imagine not seeing her every day.

He pulled out of the compound last, stopping only to close the gate.


	41. Chapter 39

_Dear Songbird,_

_We left June 16__th__. Not all of us wanted to go but it's better to stay in a group and I guess we're all so used to each other that it didn't seem really right to change it now. Rick couldn't stay here without Lucky. If Freddy is with you, I've written him a letter too. I hope you made it back, both of you. Everything seems to have fallen apart. Andrea is remembering what it was like to lose Amy again, I think you distracted her from all that before. Rick and Lori are traveling together. I don't know if they're giving it another try or just trying to give Carl some stability. Sophia, T and I miss you. We will miss all of you and the way things were here. I don't mean to ramble, I know you want to know about Daryl. He survived. He looked for you for weeks, he even climbed the ravine and checked the jail almost a week ago, but they said you'd left the morning after the attack. He…changed. But don't ever believe that he didn't love you, Songbird. I don't believe he ever stopped loving you. I believe that hope was killing him. If you're here, stay here. We might be back this way. I'm going to do my best to convince them to winter here again._

_Love,_

_Carol_

Songbird didn't know how to react. Lucky was gone? Daryl had left her? Hope had been pretty much the only thing that had moved her along on the hellish journey back. And Daryl had been the one to give up? All he'd had to do was sit in the compound!

She felt like she was going to faint. She dimly heard a chair scrape back. Freddy had taken a seat in it, his face ice pale and the letter Carol had mentioned trembling in his hand. She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but she couldn't find the words. He looked at her and she saw his lips move, his words didn't seem in synch with the movement thought. He also seemed to be getting farther away.

When her hearing finally returned in an almost painful rush she was sitting on the floor, her head between her knees. It was a good thing she was flexible. Freddy wasn't functioning much better than she was at this point and he had pretty much just folded her in half.

"Where's Lucky?" Songbird asked.

"She'd dead," Freddy said flatly.

"What?"

Freddy handed her the letter and she read it quickly. It was true. Lucky had died the day they got separated. They were the only ones left.

"Don't you dare try to kill yourself again," Songbird said after they'd sat in silence for an indeterminable time. "Please don't leave me all alone."

"I won't," Freddy replied after some deep thought. "If you don't."

"What?"

"Well, not kill yourself, but go running off into the wild blue chasing Daryl fucking Dixon."

"I won't go without telling you," was all Songbird would commit to. "Why couldn't he just wait Freddy? Why did Lucky have to die?"

"I don't know."

They both stayed where they were, sitting on the kitchen floor, their backs resting against the lower cabinets. Eventually Freddy reached out and pulled Songbird against him, closing the distance between them. It only eased the pain a little, but it did help.

She rested her head on Freddy's chest and cried. She cried for Lucky, for Rick, for Daryl, and as selfish as it felt, she cried for herself. She just wanted him back. The glance she gave the calendar proved her right. They'd missed the group's departure by only four days.

She didn't know how she'd do it, but she'd find him again. And after she smacked him for leaving her, she'd throw herself into his arms and never let him leave her side again.


	42. Chapter 40

Songbird wasn't sure how long she and Freddy sat there on the kitchen floor; she only knew that when she finally lifted her head from his chest her throat was raw from her sobs. He didn't look much better. He was the only one of his family left. Just like her. They were the only ones left.

"What do we do?" she whispered.

Freddy looked down at her and tried to think. He felt numb now that he'd managed to quell the urge to throw up. The first thing that crossed his mind was surprising. The animals. The animals would need to be fed.

"We should see to the livestock," he said.

Songbird nodded and allowed him to help her stand. They walked outside and began the farm chores; they were able to move routinely, not really paying attention as they fed and watered the goats, chicken, and cattle. Freddy milked and Songbird gathered eggs. Michelangelo refused to go near his doghouse and she didn't really want to leave him outside anyway so when her chores were done, she hooked her fingers into his collar and walked back over to Freddy.

"Can he stay in the house?" she asked.

"Yeah," Freddy nodded. He wasn't afraid of Michelangelo anymore; that dog had saved his life a time or two on the journey back…the journey his sister had never made. He forced his thoughts away quickly. He couldn't afford to break down and leave Songbird all alone.

Songbird helped him carry the milk and eggs into the house and then she made scrambled eggs that they ate in silence. Michelangelo enjoyed them too and Freddy saw a ghost of a smile flit across Songbird's face as the dog gave her a grin of appreciation. They ate until they were full and then Songbird seemed to notice the dirt on her hands.

"I'm filthy," she said in a dull voice.

"Me too," Freddy answered. "I think I'm going to get into the shower."

"Yeah," she stood and, taking Michelangelo into the living room and ordering him to sit, she went into the hall bathroom.

Her things were still in the lower cabinet. She turned the water on as hot as she could stand it and stepped in quickly. She gritted her teeth as the water hit her skin. She thought she was out of tears, but as she braced her hands on the wall so the water could soothe her tense back muscles she began to cry again. Not the body wracking sobs of earlier but quiet tears that hurt more somehow. She remembered being here with Daryl, his body moving inside hers while the water sluiced over their bodies. She remembered his voice in her ear; she remembered him asking her to share his name. For less than six months she'd been Songbird Dixon and then…then he'd left her. He hadn't just given up _hope_. He'd given up _her_.

Her hands clenched when a surge of white hot fury flooded her, leaving her shaking as her tears abated in its wake. She rubbed her hands over her face and tried to gather her thoughts. She _loved_ Daryl. She missed Daryl. She had to figure out what to do to get back to Daryl. Her emotions must just be going crazy. She wasn't angry. She understood. Didn't she?

Freddy walked into his own bathroom and turned the shower on. Lucky was dead. All he had left of his family was gone. If she just hadn't waited so long on the bridge to make sure he got back across…he knew that was what had slowed her down. Always looking out for him, always assuming that nothing could hurt her. His chest constricted when he thought about his confident sister. He could practically hear her voice if he concentrated; he could see her in his mind's eye. He'd have bet she'd be last Mackensie standing if anyone had asked him. The temptation was there, in the back of his mind…the temptation to opt out, to see his sister again, his dads…the temptation to end this ridiculous charade of a life.

But Songbird…he remembered her face when she'd found out Daryl had left her. He hadn't paid attention to it at the time, but the image came through the haze of grief now. She'd stood there looking just as shocked as a person who has just lost a limb.

He absently looked down at himself. He saw the dirt and blood of nearly a month on the road spiraling down the drain. He had new scars from the rocks and brambles in the ravine, and a burn across his right palm from Michelangelo's rope.

During the climb up he'd had to practically carry the 110 pound dog and at one point Michelangelo had slipped, nearly tumbling down into the ravine. Freddy's grip had saved him at the expense of a few layers of skin. Songbird had wrapped it with a strip of her shirt and they'd continued. Just one of the ways they'd been hurt, just one of the ways one of the three of them had nearly died, just one of the ways they'd fought to come home.

He finished his shower, fighting the sudden panic that when he got out Songbird wouldn't be there. What if she'd changed her mind? What if he was the only one left? He dried off quickly and yanked clean jeans on, toweling his hair dry as he opened the bathroom door.

"Songbird?" he called.

"In here," she responded, leaving him on the verge of gagging with relief. She was in the room she and Daryl had shared. He stepped in and found her looking around.

"Are you looking for anything in particular?" she heard Freddy ask.

She shook her head. She could tell at a glance that most of her things were there. Daryl had left the Ghost crossbow; it was lying on the bunk under the one they'd shared. She supposed she'd been hoping for some kind of note; something that could explain why he'd left. Something to tell her where he was going just in case she made it back. There was nothing. Except for the crossbow, it was as if Daryl Dixon had never been there.

"I guess I was just…" she turned and trailed off.

Freddy looked totally disheveled. Clean, but disheveled. His hair was sticking up and he still carried a towel in one hand. His jeans were zipped but not buttoned and they were the only article of clothing he wore. She'd never seen him shirtless before.

He blushed when her gaze skimmed his jeans and he turned his back, buttoning them quickly.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I was in a rush…and I thought you might be gone and I didn't want you to go, so I was hoping to catch you if you were leaving even though I didn't really think you'd go…and if you were going I wasn't going to let you go."

"I told you I wouldn't leave without telling you," Songbird reminded him, smiling in spite of herself. Freddy babble was always amusing.

"Yeah," he turned back to face her, running his fingers through his hair. "But I panicked."

"I can't think of anything worse than being the only one here," Songbird said honestly. "I wouldn't do that to you."

"I can't think of anything worse either," Freddy admitted. "God, just thinking about it…"

Songbird saw his muscles tense with a repressed shudder. There was a good bit more muscle to tense than she'd imagined. Of course she'd wrestled with Freddy in the past, she'd seen him push cars out of the roads and carry the dog without breaking a sweat, so she'd known he was strong, but he was also built tall and lean so every muscle showed. She didn't know why she was even thinking about that, so she chalked it up to the way her mind wandered when she was stressed.

"Going to bed?" he asked after a moment. She was already in her pajamas.

"I was," she acknowledged. "Now I'm not sure. I'm so tired though…"

Freddy saw her rub her forehead and close her eyes; sometimes she still looked so young.

"I'm not sure I can stay in here without him," she finished, her throat tightening painfully. "I'm sorry Freddy; I know you don't want to hear it. I know we've lost more than him…"

He stepped up and pulled her against him. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face against his chest. He felt her shoulders shake.

"You're in love with him," was all he said.

After a few moments she pulled back and said, "I'm sure I'll be fine. You going to bed too?"

"Yeah," he was just as exhausted. They'd lost hours and hours of sleep on the road. "If you need me…" he left it at that before he rambled and fucked it up.

She nodded and climbed into her bed. As tired as she was, sleep refused to claim her; her thoughts swung from Daryl to Lucky. Daryl was just as out of her reach as Lucky was. Lucky who'd died on that bridge. Lucky who had been the last explosion. Songbird pressed her hand to her mouth. Lucky who'd been so brave that Songbird had thought she was crazy from time to time. Like that time Daryl had told her about where Lucky had taken down a hoard of Walkers with a bowie knife.

She knew that Daryl had admired Lucky though, whether he ever admitted it or not. She'd seen that his expression was the same when he talked about her as it was when he talked about Merle. Apparently Daryl had a certain admiration for bat-shit crazy.

Freddy lay contemplating the ceiling. He'd gotten used to sleeping near Songbird and now it was odd to be alone. They'd slept together out of necessity on the road though, and beds weren't exactly in short supply around here. He wondered why the group had left…actually he was fairly sure he knew exactly why the group had taken off. Rick must have given the order and the rest had followed. But why had Daryl left? He hadn't known for sure that Songbird was dead.

That girl had some serious survival skills. She was quick and deadly accurate with her knives, agile and light enough on her feet to get away when the hoards swarmed them and she had 110 pounds of trained deadly attack dog ready to lay down his life for her. She knew how to gut an animal, make a fire, and she could go quite a while without sleep. Daryl really didn't give her much credit…his reverie was cut short when his door opened slowly.

"Freddy?"

He tried to roughen his voice; he wanted her to think he'd been asleep rather than laying there thinking about Daryl. God, would that ever be hard to explain.

"What is it?"

"I'm sorry that I woke you up," Songbird felt bad. "But I…I couldn't sleep. I know it's completely stupid, but I've really never slept in a room alone. I wondered if I could…"

"Yeah," he agreed. "It's a big bed."

She walked in and Freddy was amused to see Michelangelo follow her giving his best doggy nonchalant stride.

"Close the door," he said.

Songbird pushed it shut and got in bed with Freddy. It wasn't just a big bed, it was a huge bed. There was a lot of space between the two of them…she relaxed. Then Michelangelo jumped on the bed and, using his weight as an advantage, after a month on the road Songbird had lost back to just under 100, he shoved her closer to Freddy.

They lay tense, their shoulders just brushing.

"I guess he got used to us sleeping back to back on the road," Freddy said into the silence a moment later.

"Yeah," Songbird was relieved. "It's no different right Freddy? It's just…it's just…"

"It's just that my bed is way better than the ground," he agreed. "Well…not just mine. Pretty much anybody's bed would be way better than the ground. Unless you're in the Vietnam War. Rooster used to talk about the camping accommodations…that's why he was so obsessed with all of us having great beds. Like this one, this great bed we're sharing because we're friends and fellow survivors and…" he trailed off when he realized that Songbird was asleep. "At least she probably didn't hear much of that," he muttered.

Michelangelo raised his head and gazed at him in the low lamp light.

"Don't judge me," Freddy said in a low voice. "You're not in bed with a hot chick…well…you are…but she's the wrong species for you. So don't get any ideas."

Michelangelo gave a doggie sigh of what Freddy took to be scorn and lay his head on his paws. Freddy closed his eyes and gave in to sleep.

A/N: Being astute people, I am sure you have all noticed that Daryl isn't in this chapter. I was planning to wait until the season ended to start work on this again, but if I did that the first chapter after my hiatus would have ended up several feet long lol. So, I'm doing this instead. I won't be updating nearly as frequently, but I wanted to show what Songbird is doing while the show is happening. I'm not going to rehash Daryl's plot line…what's happening to him on the show is what's happening to him in my story for right now…you just have to imagine that he's missing Songbird the whole time *Wink* I hope you guys still like it and once the season ends and Daryl is "free", trust me, I'll be writing about him asap!


	43. Chapter 41

Freddy had been awake for about an hour, ever since Songbird first rolled over and threw her leg over his and wrapped her arms around him. He'd waited for her to move back, but she hadn't. He'd glanced down at her, wondering if she was thinking about Daryl. He tried not to be angry about that, but it wasn't easy. He forced his thoughts away.

Not everyone in the group had known that they would be leaving apparently, because he'd noticed yesterday that the garden had been pretty well tended. There would be plenty of food. Too much for just the two of them, actually. Lucky had planted more than usual for the large group. She'd never get to see them enjoy it now. He wrapped his arm around Songbird, taking comfort from her closeness, even if she was laying there dreaming about the guy who'd abandoned her.

He hadn't gone to his fathers "funeral." He was determined to do better by his sister. There wasn't anything of her to bury, but they could do something. Someone had made crosses for James and Rooster; he could make one for Lucky and put it beside their fathers memorials.

Songbird woke up feeling warm and comfortable. She snuggled under the covers and the warmth next to her. She smiled as she remembered her dream. She and Daryl and Lucky had been fishing at the catfish pond on the edge of the property.

She opened her mouth to ask if they really could do that today, and then she realized exactly who she was snuggled against. Not Daryl. Freddy. She pulled back, pushing against Michelangelo who made an annoyed 'whuff' in his sleep.

"It's okay," Freddy said into the quiet. "I was awake."

"Oh. Well, I'm sorry anyway…I guess I'm a clingy sleeper. Daryl always said I was…" she cut herself off and got up. "I'm going to go get dressed."

"Wait," Freddy sat up and said, "I wanted to talk to you. I'd like to have a memorial service for Lucky today. I know that it's just the two of us…but I…it would mean a lot to me."

"Sure, I think that's a good idea. We should…"

"I want you to sing," he said. "And I'm going to make a cross."

"Okay. Let me know when you're done then," she walked into her bedroom and changed out of her pajamas and into jeans and a tee-shirt. What could she sing for Lucky?

She saw the photo album Lucky had made for her on the lower bunk and she leafed through it. For a brief while, everyone had been so happy. She looked at Dale and Andrea, at T-dog and Carol, at the kids, the next picture hit her like a punch. She'd forgotten it was there. Daryl tugging her braid and smiling down at her, she was smiling up at him as well. She remembered that it was when she was getting Christmas ready. She was surprised when a tear splashed onto the plastic covering the photograph. She hadn't even realized she was crying again.

How had it all gone so wrong? Why did he leave? She wanted to stop asking herself that question but she couldn't. There had to be a reason that he'd walked off without her. Without even a note, some kind of explanation of where he'd gone…of why he'd been so sure she was dead.

And why was she sitting here thinking about him when Lucky was dead? She stood up and went into Lucky's theater room, looking through her music for inspiration. She closed her eyes and lay back across the stage, trying to get a sense of what kind of song Lucky would have wanted.

When she met up with Freddy that evening, she saw several new cuts on his hands from shaping the cross. How somebody could be that precise and yet so still so clumsy was beyond her. She helped him dig a hole and put the cross in it, packing the dirt back tightly so that it stood upright.

She dusted her hands off on the seat of her jeans and cleared her throat.

"If I die young, bury me in satin,

Lay me down on a bed of roses,

Sink me in the river at dawn,

Send me away with the words of a love song"

As she sang she thought about her friend and the way she'd changed the lives of every member of the group of survivors. She thought about Rick, picturing the way his eyes had followed Lucky even before the two of them had gotten together. He had loved her so much.

"There's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever

Who woulda thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life?"

When the song was done, Freddy bowed his head and Songbird did the same. Neither of them prayed aloud, but Freddy saw Songbird's hand move as she crossed herself.

"Thanks for singing," he said after a moment.

"It's not a problem," she lied.

It had been hell. For the first time in her life she hadn't wanted to do it. She didn't want to sing for a dead friend.

About a week passed, dragging into monotony. Freddy noticed that Songbird had stopped singing and her dark eyes never sparkled anymore. She just did what needed to be done and went to bed at night, usually reading until she couldn't stay awake any longer. Freddy would take the book from her hands and pull her into his arms. It didn't wake her up to be held, in fact she slept better…and hell, didn't he deserve to be a little selfish?

Songbird was going crazy wondering what she could do. There was simply no way to know where Daryl had gone. She seethed with frustration as she thought about it; the question simply wouldn't leave her mind. Where would they have gone?

"Songbird?" Freddy asked one night about a week later as they ate.

"Yeah?"

"What now?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I don't know. I just have a feeling you're planning something," he shrugged as he spoke.

"I want to leave."

The words spilled over the kitchen table and into the space between them. Freddy noticed that Songbird seemed shocked to have even spoken them. He wasn't shocked, but he was conflicted.

"You're sure? Carol said…"

"Do you really think they're going to listen to Carol? Anyway, they probably all believed we were dead. Nobody in that group ever saw me as more than a child and they thought you…" she broke off, embarrassed.

"You can say it. Everybody always thinks I'm an idiot. But you don't even have any idea what direction they went in. You don't want to chase after him blindly. That would be suicide. And what about the farm? What about the animals and the crops and…"

"Freddy, what are you getting at?" she asked in frustration.

"I'm getting at the fact that I don't want you to go by yourself and we can't leave the farm like this. The animals would die and it's just silly to let such a good safe zone go to waste," he took the last bite of his egg and pointed at her with his fork. "You're not leaving without me. And I can't go yet."

"But…" Songbird didn't know what to say. "But this is your house."

"And you're my…you're my…I don't know what you are. But I kind of think of you as my…my whatever," Freddy dropped his face into his palm. "I care about you. That's what I'm trying to explain. I'm not going to let you walk away from me."

She blinked at him.

"So…you aren't trying to stop me?"

"No. I'm just asking you to give me time. We've got communication with those two bases. If we could get them here, show them how to run the farm…" he hated the thought of other people fucking up what Rooster and James had worked so hard for, but there wasn't another option.

"I'd rather have the people from Area 2," Songbird said. "But I don't know how they'd get here."

"I do," Freddy said. "There's abandoned cars everywhere. We could take a trip. There's a back way in, it was just too long to walk. We'd still be on the road if we'd tried it. But it has the advantage of not including the ravine."

"Let's get started then!" excitement flowed through Songbird, but Freddy held up his hand.

"We'll try to raise them on the radio before we go running over there. Anything could have happened between here and there."

She knew better than to argue. Freddy was right and she should let him handle this. She was surprised he was offering to help her at all. She was also determined to bury every hint of her childish personality. That was probably why Daryl had never believed she could handle herself.

Freddy stood and walked into the command center, picking up the radio and trying to raise Area 2.

"Area 2? This is Freddy Mackensie. I delivered the baby about a month ago…is anybody there?"

"Yes!" a voice came on several minutes later. "This is Jeremy at Area 2. You made it back?"

"We made it," Freddy confirmed. "But our situation has changed. There's room at the compound if you have people you'd like to transport."

"Really?" the man sounded close to tears. "We've lost some…we're starving…when? When can you be here?"

"We could leave as soon as we find a vehicle," Freddy replied, distracted by Songbird who was mouthing something. "Oh. How's the baby? And the mother? Are they…"

"Hanging on. But just barely. We have a van on this side. It's just out of gas."

"Well that makes it easier," Freddy injected a note of confidence into his voice. "We'll leave in the morning and we should be there by nightfall. We'll bring enough food to feed everyone and gas for the van. Hold on all right?"

"All right!" the man's voice warmed with hope and Songbird felt tears sting her eyes. "We'll look for you tomorrow then. We'll be ready…and thank you. Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome and we'll see you then."

Freddy shut the radio off and looked at Songbird.

"That's step one," he said.

She nodded and turned to go to bed. Freddy wondered if the light would ever come back into her eyes. He'd seen it briefly when he'd promised to try to raise Area 2, but she'd extinguished it just as quickly as it had sparked. If it didn't and they managed to find Daryl he vowed to personally stomp that guy's ass.

Freddy knew it was hypocritical of him to be mad at Daryl for losing hope when he'd tried to kill himself after losing James and Rooster. But it didn't change the way he felt. He wanted Songbird to be back to her old self. He wanted her to give him that cute smile and make him feel better. He wanted her to tease him and drive him crazy and understand him the way she used to. He wanted to be less furious at the thought that the only thing that would bring the light back to her eyes was another man. He sighed and turned off the light, then headed to get in bed with her so she could sleep, pretending he was Daryl.


	44. Chapter 42

Songbird sighed and leaned back against Freddy's headboard, looking at the file she'd opened on her computer. One of the long winter days when there'd been nothing to do, she'd hassled Daryl into letting her play reporter. She wasn't reading the words on the screen as much as relieving the conversation.

_ "So, I say the questions and you answer them," she grinned at him across the bunk bed._

_ Daryl shrugged and said, "All right, but I'm sayin' there's a better way to use the time."_

_ "We can do that after. Question one: who was your best friend growing up?"_

_ "Didn't have one."_

_ "You had to have had a friend! Everybody has friends!"_

_ "Not me," Daryl replied adamantly. Then he looked thoughtful and amended the statement, "I guess Bo. Bo was kinda my best friend. That count?"_

_ "Sure! Why?" Songbird gave him an encouraging smile._

_ "I don't know. He didn't knock me around like the old man…he talked to me…told me a lot of shit about tracking and survivin'. I guess you could say he's the reason I'm still alive."_

_ "What's one of your favorite memories of him?"_

_ Daryl rubbed his chin and then said, "We went huntin' right after I got Mary Jane…before he got to where he couldn't walk real far…I brought down a buck. He said he was proud of me. That I was the one who was gonna make somethin' of hisself. It was the only time he ever said anything like that."_

_ Songbird could tell Daryl was uncomfortable so she said, "Okay. On to other matters! Who was the first person you ever had a crush on?"_

_ "You darlin'," Daryl grinned at her and reached out, dusting the tip of her nose with her braid._

_ "Be serious," she pretended to be mad, but she knew he didn't buy it._

_ "Where you gettin' these questions anyway?"_

_ "It's an old quiz thing I found on the Internet and typed up," she admitted. "Me and River were quiz addicts."_

_ "So you've filled it out?" his interest was piqued._

_ "Yeah. If you answer all my questions I'll let you read mine," she bargained._

_ "How many questions?"_

_ "30"_

_ "Fuck that! I'll answer 5."_

_ "Dang. Okay, that's actually more than I figured I'd get out of you," she smiled at him. "So? First crush?"_

_ "Miss Malone."_

_ Songbird arched her eyebrow._

_ "She was my first grade teacher. Nice ass."_

_ "Tell me about her," she poised her hands over the keyboard._

_ "Hell I don't remember much about her. Lookin' back on it, I reckon she was young…it was probably her first job. She had black hair and brown eyes; she always wore skirts. Pretty smile."_

_ "Did you get in trouble in school a lot?"_

_ "That a quiz question?"_

_ "No. It's related to the subject at hand," she answered primly._

_ "I didn't get in trouble for a lot of the shit I actually did. Got a lot of stuff pinned on me…the Dixon curse. Guilty until proven innocent…which I ain't never been," he grinned at her._

_ "What do you dream about?"_

_ "Nothin' usually," he answered honestly. "When I dream it's usually about you…and it's usually nightmares."_

_ "That's not flattering," Songbird was surprised._

_ "I mean somethin' bad's usually happenin' to you. Like when I was sick I kept dreamin' you were dyin'. Before you I'd have a random dream every now and then, but I never been the type to dream every night…at least not dreams I remember."_

_ "Aw. I wasted a question."_

_ "Damn right," he gave her another smile. "Two more and we can get down to somethin' way better."_

_ "I'm typing all this," she informed him. "History will know you're a horny bastard."_

_ "I'm good with that. I'm 36, my wife's 18…history should understand just fine."_

_ "A person you always wanted to meet and never did."_

_ "My Great uncle Jake. Bo said sometimes that I reminded him of his brother. I'd like to know how."_

_ "What do you see when you look in the mirror?"_

_ "What the hell you mean? I see my reflection. This ain't a bad vampire movie."_

_ "So go for some symbology."_

_ "The word you're lookin' for is symbolism. What is the symbolism," he wriggled his eyebrows at her and she grinned back._

_ "I still don't know exactly what you're talkin' about."_

_ "How do you see yourself? What do you think about the man in the mirror?" she persisted._

_ Daryl shrugged and said, "Sometimes I think I'm gettin' old," then he corrected himself, "I know I'm gettin' old…and hell, I ain't never been happier to think about dyin' of old age…"_

_ He cleared his throat and looked down at the blanket, picking at it in one of his many nervous gestures._

_ "How'd you answer this question?" he asked, looking up at her._

_ Songbird read him the response she had typed in, "When I see myself in the mirror I see someone who has no real skills. I don't see how I'm going to live this life forever. I don't see how I'm ever going to be normal…how I'm ever going to find a good guy who doesn't mind dating a circus freak. But…I also see someone who loves her life. I love the big top, Papa Tony, River…and Ben. I can't move forward and it's impossible to go back. I see someone who wonders a lot about where the journey will take her and whether it's the direction she wants to go in. I see someone who isn't quite in control of the life she's living."_

_ "I see a man who ain't never been in control till now," Daryl said slowly. "A man who don't know what's it's like to look at a woman and see love on her face. A man who don't know what to do when people depend on him. Someone that maybe nobody really likes…that maybe people just wanna use. Somebody that ain't never been part of a team; somebody that ain't sure that's what this is. A man who ain't never felt at home. Somebody who don't really know his place."_

_ In the quiet that followed those words Songbird remembered saving the file, closing the computer and getting to her knees in front of Daryl._

_ "With me," she'd said. "Your place is with me. You're my normal and I'm your home."_

She closed the computer when Freddy walked in. She wondered what Daryl would think about her and Freddy sharing a bed. He probably wouldn't be super happy about it…but what else was there to do? She couldn't sleep alone and it wasn't as if she could ask Freddy to sleep in a bunk bed just so she didn't have to be in a room alone all night. She didn't nurse any illusions about not telling Daryl when they found him…if she didn't blurt it out in an unguarded moment Freddy would be sure to do it for her.

"Ready for it?" Freddy asked, sitting on the side of the bed and leaning over, unlacing his boots.

"Ready for what?" she idly watched his back muscles contract under his skin and the slight flex of his spine as his fingers worked at the knots in his boot lace.

"Hell," he said cheerfully. "The hoard. The masses. The walking dead."

"Now that's poetic," she replied. "I'm ready to hit the road, sure."

He lay down with a sigh. She hadn't so much as cracked a smile.


	45. Chapter 43

Songbird finished feeding the animals in the early morning cool and then got on the back of Freddy's bike. They were headed to Area Two and she wished very much that they could take Michelangelo, but he obviously wouldn't fit on the bike and he couldn't run that long either. They'd radioed Jeremy and told him to be ready. Freddy said the ride would take most of the day and, as they didn't really have room for supplies other than gasoline for the van, they weren't planning to spend the night.

"You're sure you'll be okay to drive?" she asked worriedly.

"Sure, I'm sure," he gave her a confident grin. "I could do this with one hand behind my back! Well…okay, probably not, because I wouldn't be able to change the gears…oh well. You understand what I mean. The point I was making was that I have skills."

She smiled and shook her head as she got on and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Freddy Mackensie, you're completely crazy," she informed him.

He was glad that she was behind him and couldn't see his ear-to-ear grin. It was nice to see her smile again.

The ride didn't take long and they managed to avoid the Walkers they did see, which were sort few and far between.

"Do you think they're…well…as crazy as it sounds, do you think they're dying?" Songbird asked when they stopped to eat the lunch she'd put in her backpack.

"I don't know," Freddy frowned as he chewed his sandwich. "I don't know how they could get deader…"

"Maybe they're decaying. How long can a corpse walk around anyway? And what I wonder is why animals don't eat them. Dogs and wolves and bears and vultures and all that love dead flesh right? I mean they eat roadkill all the time…" Songbird suggested.

"Let's postpone this until _I'm _done eating," he replied with a grimace.

She shrugged and finished her own lunch. Maybe it was a bit odd that the thought of rotten corpses didn't affect her appetite, but it didn't and it was probably for the best.

They got back on the road pretty soon after that, and as the sun was setting they pulled up to the gates of Area Two. She saw Freddy glance at the bridge and swallow hard. She looked too at the cracks and burned cars, so much sadder and more hopeless now that she knew it was where Lucky had died. Freddy rattled the gate.

"Yo!"

"Really Freddy? Yo?"

He shrugged and said, "The other option was excuse me. What would you have me do?"

"There's always hello," she pointed out. "I just think that you and I are a bit too pale for "yo"

"I refuse to let the color of my skin limit my choice of greeting," Freddy maintained as someone approached.

"Jeremy?" he guessed.

He didn't remember the man because he hadn't really dealt with anyone other than Liz, Shaun and Ed on the last visit.

"Yes," Jeremy, a young guy, probably mid-twenties, of medium height and build, with sandy brown hair and blue eyes, answered in relief. "I…I can't believe you made it! The van is right over there," he gestured at a good sized white Chevy as he opened the gate. "And we're all ready to go," he finished as Songbird and Freddy pushed the bike into the fence and closed the gate. "Did Daryl find you?" he asked Songbird. "I talked to him when he came looking for you…"

"No," Songbird forced her voice to remain steady as she answered, "They were gone by the time we got back."

Before the man could make the sympathetic response she saw in his eyes, the response that would have ruined the shell of calm she'd constructed in the past week, she said, "How many people are left?"

"There's me," he said. "Liz and Shaun Jr. and then Erica and Paul."

"That's all?" Freddy asked. He'd remembered their numbers had been cut from a Walker attack…but when he and Songbird had left the area there'd been double that number, even not counting Shaun Sr. and Ed.

"That's all," Jeremy confirmed.

"Then let's get them out here," Freddy walked over to the van and began filling it with gasoline. "Songbird, want to see if you can help Liz with the baby?"

"Sure," she walked into the building. Jeremy had stayed with Freddy so she hoped the group would be easy to find. Daryl used to tease her about getting lost in the compound…she'd get lost in here for sure. "Ummm hello? Anybody in here?" she called into the empty corridors.

"Down here!"

She rounded the corner and found Erica. The woman, whose beautiful mocha with cream skin and dark hair showed her Latina heritage, was almost as painfully thin as Songbird had been a year ago, but she gave Songbird a half smile.

"I never would have believed my savior would be a skinny little girl like you," the woman said.

"It's not just me," Songbird answered. "There's Freddy too…and he's not skinny. I mean he's not fat either…he's surprisingly built actually…um…you probably don't care about that. I came to see if I could help."

"Sure, you can get the things for the mama; I'll get the things for the baby. Or the other way around," Erica went on when Songbird's face fell.

They walked into a small room off to the right. Liz sat nursing Shaun Jr. and Songbird bit her lip when she saw how thin the mother and baby were. The blonde woman looked up at her and Songbird thought she saw a flash of anger in her eyes. Liz cast her gaze down before she could be sure though.

"What can I help with?" Songbird asked awkwardly.

"Our things are over there," Liz nodded to a small pile of clothes in the corner. Songbird scooped them up and followed Erica out. Liz followed them, holding her son close. Paul, the man she remembered as sort of the group leader from before, a black man in his early forties, joined them in the hallway and they all walked outside together.

Songbird saw Erica and Paul turn and look at something to the left of the building before heading to the van; her gaze followed and she saw the tell-tale signs of fairly recent graves. She wondered who was under the earth.

"We're all set," Freddy said, slapping the side of the van. "I'll see you back at the compound Songbird…"

"I'm riding with you," she replied firmly.

"If you ride in the van you can get some sleep," he argued.

"And if I ride with you, it'll be easier for you to stay awake."

He only wavered for a second or two more before shrugging and saying, "You've convinced me. Let's go. It shouldn't be too hard to follow us," he went on, turning to Jeremy with a smile. "But if you need to stop for any reason flash your headlights okay?"

"Okay," the man agreed.

The return trip went fairly smooth until they got to an open section of highway. Freddy felt Songbird's grip tighten and he swerved to avoid the Walker that stumbled toward them on the left. He had to swerve just as quickly to the right to avoid another…and another…and another.

"My God…" he realized they were headed into a…a…he didn't know what to call it. Whatever Walkers traveled in. A pack? A herd? A hoard? A swarm?

"Freddy!" Songbird didn't know what she expected Freddy to do exactly, but she was so terrified she couldn't think about anything else. This was the most of them she'd seen since the outbreak first started.

"Hang on!" he yelled over his shoulder, gunning the bike motor and hoping to God that Jeremy would understand what he needed him to do.

He swung the bike in a tight circle, making the tires (and Songbird) squeal as he sped behind the van, gesturing at Jeremy as he passed the driver's side window. Thank God, thank God, Jeremy did what Freddy needed him to. Jeremy hit the gas, driving over the Walkers with as much speed as the old Chevy had in it. Freddy followed closely, swerving around Walker bodies as much as possible. Songbird tried to relax what she knew was a painful grip on Freddy's ribs.

"At least now I'm more awake," Freddy called over his shoulder once they were out of the swarm and doing a brisk 65 MPH.

Songbird poked him in the ribs and he heard her laugh. It was an exhilarated sound that probably had more to do with relief at being alive than anything else. It was still nice to hear. He pulled back around in front of the van and led the rest of the way to the compound.

"This is it?" Jeremy tried to sound more appreciative as he got out of the van, but he guessed he'd had a different picture of the compound in his mind.

"Not quite," Songbird answered as they walked around to the back.

She'd mentioned that she wanted to introduce Michelangelo so there were no surprises before they'd left and she wasn't a bit surprised that Freddy remembered now even though she'd forgotten.

"I know you're probably all tired," she said in apology. "But it's better to meet Michelangelo when I'm around."

"Michelangel…oh," Erica breathed when the dog rushed at the chain of his dog house, standing up in his hind legs, waving his front paws in a gesture that pleaded for Songbird to come closer so he could show her how much he'd missed her.

She obliged, running over and throwing her arms around him. He licked her face and she wiped it on her sleeve before kissing him on his somewhat wrinkly forehead.

"We've got some new people," she informed him. "And I need you to be on your best behavior and listen to absolutely everything I say okay?"

He nuzzled his nose against her neck and, with another kiss on his head, Songbird whispered, "Sit."

He sat.

"And stay." When he didn't show signs of the twitchiness that always preceded disobedience, she said, "All right, come meet him."

Erica and Liz didn't move. Jeremy and Paul stepped forward, since they remembered the beast from the earlier visit to their own compound.

"Hold your hands out so he can get your scent," Songbird went on. "He won't move unless I tell him too and even if he did, he wouldn't hurt you. Daryl and I have been training him since I found him."

Jeremy was the first to brave petting the animal. Michelangelo gave him a politely interested snuffle, but he didn't react the way he had with Daryl or Freddy. Paul did the same and after a few long moments, and after handing the baby to Freddy, Liz stepped up as well.

Songbird looked at Erica, who was regarding the dog the same way Freddy had in the beginning. Well…actually Erica didn't look _quite_ that terrified.

"It's better to meet him when I'm here to help keep his enthusiasm under control," Songbird called.

"I guess you're going to tell me he wouldn't hurt a fly," the woman called back without moving.

Songbird laughed and said, "Of course not. What kind of guard dog would he be then? He trained to attack Walkers and kill them…but he's trained to protect the people of this compound, which is why he needs to get to know you. He needs to know you're part of his family and not a threat. Ridgebacks are very protective of people they consider "theirs."

Erica stepped up after a few long moments and Michelangelo gave her an uncertain look. Songbird knew the dog felt the woman's tension. She patted his head and made a soothing sound.

"You're just huge," she explained. "Remember how long it took Freddy to get used to you?"

Erica looked at the girl, who seemed to believe that massive animal was capable of understanding…she noticed the worried frown disappear from the animals eyes in shock. Well…the dead were walking after all. Maybe this dog could talk…who knew?

She held out her hand and Michelangelo leaned forward, sniffing it and then sitting back quietly.

"He isn't growling at least," Liz teased Erica.

"He doesn't growl," Songbird informed them. "He doesn't bark either."

"Is there something wrong with his…well vocal cords?" Jeremy didn't know if that was what you called it in dogs, but it got his point across.

"No," Songbird shook her head. "Silence is a characteristic of the breed. They're African in origin. They were bred to hunt lions."

"Lions?" Erica took a step back involuntarily.

Songbird nodded and said, "But now that he knows you, he won't hurt you. And, he sleeps in the house most nights…just so you know. But I'll be sure to keep him with me until you get more comfortable around him."

"Lovely," Erica muttered under her breath.

Songbird unchained Michelangelo, keeping a light grip on his collar, and led the way back into the compound.

"Would you like to choose your rooms or eat first?" Freddy asked.

"Whatever rooms aren't full will be fine with us," Paul said. "I'm sure it's beginning to be crowded…"

"Crowded?" Freddy replied. "This compound is designed to sleep 35 people…and it's just me, her, and a dog who thinks he's human."

"What happened to the rest of your group?" Liz asked. "Your husband? Lucky?"

"Lucky died," Songbird answered after a moment. "The other group, my husband included, left earlier this summer. They assumed Freddy and I were goners."

The anger that had been in Liz's face vanished and sympathy took its place. She'd been unable to understand why her son was denied a father when some people still had husbands…but now that she realized Songbird had lost everything as well…it wasn't noble, but she liked the girl much more.

"I'm pretty hungry," Erica said after a moment. "Could you show us the rooms and then could we eat?"

"Sure!" Songbird made her voice cheerful so they wouldn't feel like beggars. "I'll let Freddy show you the rooms and I'll get supper…well…breakfast I guess…started."

Freddy walked them past the room Songbird and Daryl had shared, knowing that she wouldn't want to share it. Liz took the room beside it, Paul and Jeremy took the room across the hall from it, and Erica took the other remaining room. So…no romantic attachments there. Freddy pointed out the hall bathroom and told them they were all free to shower after supper.

Songbird decided to recreate the breakfast she'd had her first day at the compound and began scrambling eggs and mixing biscuits. She made some oatmeal and decided to fry up some deer meat as well. These people needed all the nutrients they could get as soon as they could get them after all.

"Anything I can do to help?" Erica asked from the doorway.

Songbird gestured at the cabinets with her chin and said, "If you'd like to you can set the table. Michelangelo, go to the corner."

The dog gave her a sad look, but he did as she asked. Erica breathed a sigh of relief and gave Songbird a half embarrassed, half thankful smile as she began setting the table.

"You're good at that," Erica said a bit later, watching the girl deftly handle a large breakfast.

Songbird laughed.

"When I came here, I didn't even know what a potato peeler was," she admitted. "But I had lots of lessons from James, Lucky, Lori, and Carol…now I'm a fairly decent cook."

"Where are they now?" Erica asked as Songbird began putting the food on plates.

"James and Lucky are…they died. Lori and Carol are on the road with Rick's group. Which is where I should be too," Songbird didn't elaborate as the others came in.

She put a pitcher of milk on the table and got out the butter and molasses for the biscuits. The other group ate slowly at first, and Songbird knew that they were just being polite. As the meal wore on, they ate faster and more, so that when everyone's plate was pushed aside there wasn't a scrap of food left on the table.

"Can we help you with the dishes?" Liz asked.

"Nah," Freddy answered. "We've got this. Why don't you all go and get cleaned up and get some rest? Songbird and I are probably going to get some sleep ourselves aren't we?"

She nodded, trying not to blush and failing miserably. She wished he hadn't put it that way. Erica gave her a second glance and she looked down at the table, gathering plates quickly and loudly in her desire to cover up her embarrassment. Erica probably thought she was a whore now.

When Songbird walked down to take her shower the next day after she'd done her share of the farm chores, she was briefly startled by a baby's wail. She glanced in and saw Liz and Erica chatting; Liz was patting her small son's back and whispering something soothing.

"Is everything all right?" Erica asked when Songbird poked her head into the room.

"Yeah. Just not used to hearing a baby," Songbird replied with a smile. "How's the little guy?"

"He's doing okay," Liz answered. "He's just so much skinnier than he should be…"

"Once you get some meat on your bones you'll have more milk," Erica spoke with authority.

"And if not, there are goats on the farm," Songbird offered. "Goat milk isn't as hard on children's stomachs."

"That's true," Erica confirmed. "But how did you know that?"

Songbird took in a deep breath and said, "I was raised in a circus and we couldn't really afford formula…so if a mom didn't have enough milk they usually went that route."

"A circus?" Liz repeated with interest.

"That would be fun to hear about sometime," Erica added.

Songbird grinned and said, "Anyway…I'm really good with babies…anytime you want a rest Liz, I'd keep an eye on him for you. Even at night. Because I'm not having sex with Freddy."

The women stared at her and her face went beet red.

"I didn't want you to think I'm that kind of girl," she went on, determined to muddle through as best she could. "I'm in love with Daryl and I've never been with anyone else…Freddy and I are friends and that's all. The only reason I sleep in his room is because I…well…again with the whole circus thing. I've never slept in a room alone before."

"If that's all it is," Erica said, "and you want to, you're more than welcome to share the room I'm in. It's pretty quiet for me."

"I think I'll take you up on that," Songbird agreed. "I'm sure Freddy is sick of my taking up all his space."

She left shortly thereafter and got into the shower. As she soaped up she reflected that she was actually pretty sure that Freddy wasn't at all sick of her occupying his bed…she felt him pull her close every night when he thought she was asleep and she was ashamed at the way her body relaxed when he did. There might have been no church ceremony to seal the deal, but she still felt uncomfortably like she was cheating on Daryl every night.

And that brought her to another point. When was Freddy going to tell these people that they would be expected to take care of the farm while they were on the road? She hadn't wanted to overwhelm them, but the sooner they understood the better really. They would have to learn how to milk, what to feed the animals, how to harvest and get the garden ready for winter so that there were still seeds for the next planting.

She realized she'd been standing perfectly still under the water for quite a while.

"Dang."

She turned the water off and jumped out. It was time to find Freddy, gather the group and explain some things.

"So, go over this one more time," Paul said, leaning back in the comfortable recliner in the living room of the compound. "You're leaving?"

"Yes," Songbird confirmed. She'd let Freddy handle most of the discussion. "I have to go find him."

"Honey, I've got to tell you," Erica began.

"No," Songbird shook her head. "I know. I know how slim the chances are. But I can't just sit here and do nothing. I have to at least try."

"Even after you saw that…that mass of them?" Liz questioned.

Songbird only nodded, looking at Freddy in a wordless appeal for backup.

"Her mind is made up," Freddy said. "So? What do you think? Will you take care of all this for us?"

"Sure," Paul confirmed after a look around the group. "We expected to pull our weight anyway."

"Okay. So we'll show you the ins and the outs over the next week," Freddy went on. "After that we'll hit the road I guess."

Freddy expected to have a long chat with Songbird that night about packing and travel, so he was surprised when she wasn't in his room.

"Songbird?" he called.

"In here," she called back from what had been the guy's room, now inhabited by Erica. And Songbird, he discovered when he looked in. "I thought I'd get out of your hair."

"But I…you weren't in it," he stumbled over the words. "And I was going to talk to you."

"We can still talk Freddy," she said, standing up.

"No, its fine…it can wait until the morning. Good night," he walked out of the room without waiting for her to reply.

Michelangelo gave him a baleful look when he stepped back into his bedroom.

"You too?" Freddy asked, flopping down onto the bed. He reached out and tugged the dog's ear gently. "Well…I guess I do feel better knowing I'm not the only one she abandoned."

AN: Just so you're all aware…the redneck we all know and love should be making an appearance in the VERY NEXT CHAPTER! Cue fangirl squee lol!


	46. Chapter 44

It had been nearly a week. The group was managing just fine and to Songbird's surprise and delight, Freddy had fixed up a truck he'd found abandoned for them to drive so that Michelangelo could go with them. Michelangelo hadn't seemed impressed, seeming to feel that it was obvious that he was going too.

They were eating supper when one of the alarms went off.

"Damn," Freddy said, putting his spoon down. "Probably a stray Walker."

They'd had a problem with that once or twice, but he made sure to keep a check on the fences and he knew that whatever was out there wouldn't be getting in.

"I'll go check the cameras," Songbird volunteered.

Freddy had been working all day and all she'd really done was start packing some of their things.

"Thanks," he gave her a smile and she went into the command center.

Her mouth dropped open when she saw what was on the screen. A young man stood by the gates, his hands resting lightly on the bars. There were two cars parked behind him.

"It's people," she whispered. "Freddy! Come out with me, they're human!"

"Human?" Freddy questioned as he stepped out of the kitchen, but she was already on the way up. "Damn it Songbird wait for me!"

She waited in the cabin shell, realizing that he was right.

"How many?" Freddy asked.

"One guy, but there are two cars."

Freddy adjusted his bow and cocked an eyebrow at Songbird. She nodded to confirm that she was carrying her knives.

"Well, let's go be the welcoming party," he said with a sigh.

As they approached the gate though, Freddy's posture stiffened.

"What's wrong?" Songbird whispered.

"That's Ryan," Freddy answered.

"I don't know who that is," she replied, feeling stupid. Whoever he was, he and Freddy seemed to have history.

"From Area 3."

"I can't believe you even came out," Ryan said when they got closer to the gate. "I knew you'd make it home."

"What do you mean? How'd you know I was gone?"

Freddy made no move to open the gate and Ryan shrugged.

"Vicky said…"

"Vicky?" Songbird cut in. "You spoke to her before she left?"

"She didn't leave," Ryan answered. "She came back to Area 3. She's actually in the black car right now."

"Yay," Songbird muttered under her breath.

"Look Fred…I know how you feel about me…ever since Abrahm did what he did to Lucky…but…" the other man's voice roughened and he looked down.

"What are you here for Ryan?" Freddy asked bluntly.

"We had some trouble…the store burned down. We didn't all make it."

"I feel for you Ryan…I really do," Freddy replied. "But I could never trust Abrahm around Songbird or…"

"You don't have to worry about that," Ryan met Freddy's gaze. "Abrahm is the reason the whole place burned. He…he got bitten. Dad wouldn't let anyone near him…he turned, bit a few other people before the lamp got knocked over. The whole place went up in flames…God Fred…it was all I could do to get some people out."

"Who's with you?" Songbird asked. "Besides Vicky?"

"Quenton and Tori Ross," Freddy wasn't surprised to hear that; the man was ex-military. "Lilith and her kids and Sylvia and her son Everett…Eli got bitten."

Freddy winced. Eli Rockwell had only been about 10.

"And you got them all out?" Songbird asked.

"Me and Quenton…the others were too far back…when the beams started falling…" Ryan rubbed his hands over his face and went on, "Look, even if you won't take me, Fred…"

Freddy opened the gate. Ryan turned and got into the black car, driving it into the yard. The gray SUV followed. Songbird closed the gate. Vicky got out of the car, tugging her skirt into place.

"Vicky," Songbird called. "Why didn't you go with them?"

"I didn't feel like my company would be appreciated," the woman said stiffly. "I certainly never expected to find myself back here either."

Songbird didn't pay much attention to that.

"Did they say where they were going?" she asked instead.

"Ft. Benning," the woman replied. "Daryl thinks you're dead."

"Yeah I know. Carol left me a note."

Songbird bit her tongue to keep from asking what Daryl had said or done without her. She wanted very much to be seen as an adult and the equivalent of a high school, "Did he say he missed me?" wouldn't cut it. The group went into the compound.

While they settled in, Freddy bluntly explained that he and Songbird had planned to leave the next day.

"Leave?" Ryan repeated. "Why? Where are you going?"

"Ft. Benning I guess," Freddy answered with a shrug.

"You don't have a prayer of finding them again!" Ryan spoke without thinking and then glanced at Songbird guiltily.

She returned his gaze steadily for a moment and then looked away. Why did everyone think that? They had more to go on than they ever had now. Before, she hadn't even had a location.

She was irritated that it would be another week before they could leave though. Ryan knew his way around the place from hanging out with Freddy when they were kids, but Freddy wanted to get the new group established. Songbird didn't feel like she could hassle him about it too much, since he was leaving his farm in the hands of fifteen non-farmers.

She moved back in with Freddy that night though; she'd be damned if she was going to share a room with Vicky, or with a bunch of guys she didn't know. Freddy seemed pretty pleased with the concept. As she lay there, cuddled against him, she sleepily wondered how things were going for Daryl on the way to Ft. Benning.

Daryl wondered if Carol was shaking that much or if it was him…or both of them. God damn it. God damn it. God damn it. The little girl…he took a breath and stood up, pulling Carol up with him. She clung, still sobbing.

"Sophia…Sophia…"

Rick was pale as a ghost; the hand that had held a revolver steady enough to hit Sophia between the eyes now shook too violently for him to holster the weapon. He looked like he might be sick. Daryl took in the details of the scene, trying to remain detached from it. Herschel still knelt on the ground; Maggie's arms were around her father as she sobbed. Glenn stood awkwardly near her. Lori still held Carl on the ground; the boy looked shell shocked as tears poured down his mother's face. Daryl knew that the tears were for the little girl as much as they were the fear of seeing her boy's future. Andrea, for the first time in a while, didn't look quite so fuckin' happy to be holdin' a gun. T-dog advanced hesitantly and Daryl relinquished his hold on Carol.

He met Shane's eyes across the space between them, hoping to God that the disgust showed through the numbness of the pain. Disgust for Shane for doing this to them; disgust with himself for taking the fuckin' gun. Once he had it, he shoulda shot that motherfucker instead of gettin' caught up in the moment.

Maggie helped Herschel to his feet and Daryl thought that the man had never seemed quite so old…or so frail. The man walked back to the house, the group began to follow.

"Why didn't you say something?" Shane continued to bellow. "You knew! You knew and you kept it from us."

"No," Herschel denied. "Otis put them in the barn. Maybe he found her and put her in there before he was killed."

Was it Daryl's imagination or did something flicker in Shane's eyes when Herschel mentioned Otis? Did Dale's finger reach reflexively for the trigger?

Daryl wondered if he was going as bat-shit crazy as Shane. Was he seein' shit where nothin' was wrong? Carol's sobs were drilling into his brain…a sound he wished desperately that he could drown out.

Shane was yelling. Carol was crying. Others were speaking as well. Maggie slapped Shane with a sharp crack that ended all the noise. Daryl had never liked that girl more than he did in that moment.

"Haven't you done enough?" Maggie hissed, turning to go into the house.

"I want you gone," Herschel's voice shook. "I want you all gone."

"Herschel…" Rick began.

"No."

The word was final and firm and it filled the air, an almost physical division between the group and Herschel.

"What…" Shane began, apparently just now coming out of the shock of being challenged.

"No."

This time the word came from Rick.

"Nobody wants to hear a goddamn thing you have to say Shane," he went on in a voice that was low but commanding.

Daryl hadn't heard that tone since Rick lost Lucky.

"We'll go."

"Rick…" Lori whispered.

He just held his hand up.

"Will you give us time to get our supplies together?" he asked Herschel in a level tone.

The man nodded and Daryl knew. He knew in that instant that their safe haven had been a sure thing until Shane grabbed the guns. That bastard had just sentenced them all to death.

A/N: Yep Daryl's back. I'm obviously picking up from the mid-season finale with his storyline…as always the story will be a bit from the show, a few ideas from the novel and my classic Chimera-ish take on it all. Got some new people in mind to introduce you to in upcoming chapters and some good dramatic moments coming. The next chapters could get a bit dark…but I hope you all bear with me and, most of all, I hope you enjoy!


	47. Chapter 45

"Where we headin' anyway?" Daryl questioned after everyone had packed and gathered around the vehicles.

"Ft. Benning," Shane said at the same time Glenn spoke.

"I'm not going."

"What the fuck you mean you ain't goin'?" Daryl stared at the younger man. "It ain't an option."

"Yes it is," Glenn fidgeted under everyone's heavy stares. "Maggie asked me to stay."

"Well ain't that just some bullshit," Shane crossed his arms and stared Glenn down. "Maybe we all should have been taking a turn with the farmer's daughter."

"Don't talk about her that way," Glenn's voice shook, but Daryl thought it was anger, rather than the wariness everyone had adopted around Shane since Rick and Lori had gotten back together.

"Or what?" Shane laughed derisively. "What are you going to do? Just what exactly…"

"Stop it!" Lori cut in. "We'll miss you, Glenn."

"I'll miss all of you too," Glenn ducked his head and walked back to the farmhouse.

"Ft. Benning?" T-dog repeated into the silence.

"Does anyone have any other ideas?" Rick asked. "Anything?"

No one did.

"Ft. Benning," Rick said with a sigh.

The people divided themselves into vehicles. Rick, Lori, and Carl in one, Shane and Andrea in another, Carol, T-dog, and Dale in the RV. Daryl slammed the door of his truck and pulled out after the RV, on the road again, away from the only comfort they'd known since leaving the compound. Driving alone gave him too much time to think.

Somehow his mind always went to the differences in people since leaving the compound. Dale and Andrea, whose relationship had enjoyed a slow, steady pace at the compound disintegrated pretty damn quick outside the compound gates. Andrea had flipped the fuck out in Daryl's opinion, blaming Dale for not letting her die in the CDC as a way to avoid further pain. Then she'd took up with Shane under the guise of "target practice" Daryl thought he could guess what that bastard was aiming at.

And then there was Rick and Lori. After he'd lost Lucky, Rick had seemed lost as well for a while there. Lori was apparently into the sad loner type, because Rick had told Daryl that Lori was positive the baby was his. Shortly after that, Shane lost his woman again. And, apparently, his fuckin' mind.

Plus side, Glenn was finally gettin' some and Carol had T-dog to help her through losing Sophia. God, it killed Daryl. He'd been so sure…so determined to find that little girl alive. He was desperate for hope at this point. Again, hope had tantalized, teased, and abandoned him.

Songbird let her breath out in a frustrated sigh as Vicky once again failed at milking.

"Looks like laundry duty for you," Songbird said, trying not to sound as annoyed as she was.

Vicky stood up, frowning severely as she said, "There has to be something worthwhile for me to do!"

"Laundry isn't exactly unimportant when we're surrounded by blood borne pathogens," Songbird replied. "Cleanliness in this case might even exceed Godliness."

"I still wouldn't call it the pastime of an intellectual," Vicky scoffed.

"You could always try growing up then," Songbird answered dryly as she began milking the goat. The baby wasn't putting on weight and Liz didn't have much of a milk supply yet.

"Coming from an 18 year old child…" Vicky began.

"Child or not, in this world I'm more capable than you and I can do things without making other people want to shoot themselves rather than spend time with me," Songbird kept her tone clinical as milk hit the metal sides of the pail musically. "Don't you get tired of it Vicky? Look around you…we may be the last people on Earth. Don't you think it would behoove you to get to know us? Maybe even get to like us? We aren't bad people you know. For God's sake, "Assume a virtue if you have it not!"

Vicky started to speak and then gave Songbird a long look.

"Yes," Songbird said. "It's Shakespeare. It's from Hamlet. The melancholy Dane was speaking to his mother, Queen…"

"Gertrude," Vicky cut in. "I know."

"Look, Shakespeare aside, I don't want anyone to be miserable in our absence. You need to loosen up."

The woman simply walked away. Songbird shrugged and said, to the goat who was the only thing in hearing distance, "Wouldn't hurt her to get underneath someone with experience would it?"

The goat shook its head. It was only dislodging a fly, but Songbird went with it.

"Yeah. I don't know who'd bang her either. It was just a thought. Thanks for the milk."

Two days later the caravan came to a stop. Daryl got out of his truck and eyed the building Rick was sizing up. It was a prison. Not just a county lock up, but a federal, imposing set up with those double fences. Daryl and Rick exchanged a look.

"I say fuck Ft. Benning," Daryl said bluntly. "We landed on our feet with this. It's a fuckin' goldmine."

"I agree," Rick answered. "With some minor housecleaning, that is."

Everyone's eyes were drawn to the Walkers milling around inside the fence.

"It doesn't look too bad," Dale agreed. "We should be able to take care of it without any problems."

"Let's get those gates open then," T-dog said, moving forward and tugging on the fence.

It took work to move the large gate, normally controlled electrically, but with T-dog and Daryl shoving they managed to open it wide enough open to allow the vehicles through. The Walkers began heading their way as they muscled it shut again.

Rick turned and spoke to the group quickly, "Dale, you and the women make sure the area between the fences is clear. Daryl, T, Shane, and I will handle this."

"Why am I not helping you?" Andrea questioned stubbornly. "I'm one of the best shot's you have."

"We need silent weapons," Rick said. "We don't want to draw a crowd."

Daryl took a better grip on the axe he'd taken to carrying since he was running low on bolts. Shane just used the butt end of his Mossberg shotgun in situations like this; T-dog had a baseball bat he'd found in an abandoned car and Rick had an axe as well.

"Remember," Rick said as they advanced. "Don't fire unless you have to."

Daryl gritted his teeth and swung for the head of the nearest Walker, splitting its skull with a crack. The movement sent pain all through his side, but he didn't really have time to think about it for a while. The Walkers weren't as numerous as the herd from the highway, but there were more than enough to keep all of them busy. Shane shot the rifle twice and T-dog shot once to save Rick from being surrounded and Daryl rubbed his side with relief when the fight was over.

"That seems too easy," T-dog said.

"We took a lot of them down," Shane answered, leaning over and wiping his gun on the rough grass in the prison yard, trying to get some of the Walker sludge off of it.

"Yeah, but…"

"What's that sound?" Daryl asked suddenly.

All four men turned to look at the large double doors. A hoard shuffled their way.

"Shit!" T-dog muttered. "Told ya'll it was too easy."

"Headshots!" Rick ordered. "Make every bullet count. Daryl…go back to the RV and get more ammo!"

Daryl ran, shoving his weight against the gate. It didn't budge.

"Fuck!" he shoved harder, digging his boots into the dirt and leaning his full weight on the chain link. "Come on…come on…"

It felt like it took an eternity, but eventually his effort was rewarded. The gate slid apart in a gap wide enough for him to get through and he ran for the RV. He could hear shots being fired behind him and he desperately hoped they continued until he got back.

He yanked the door to the RV open and gathered as much ammo as he could carry. He would have given his left arm for another grenade at this point. He ran out of the RV and through the gate again, yelling for Rick.

Rick turned and caught the box of ammo Daryl flung in his direction; backing up to reload while Daryl threw boxes to Shane and T and then yanked the gate closed again. Daryl loaded his own rifle and stepped closer.

This fight took considerably longer. Daryl wiped the sweat off his forehead and looked around, making sure nothing else was moving.

"Is that all of 'em?" T-dog asked, sounding exhausted.

"Only one way to find out," Rick answered, firing one more shot into the sky.

Daryl jerked the rifle up again, just in case, but no movement occurred inside the building. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"We're gonna have a lot of burning to do," T-dog said, looking at the corpses littering the ground.

"Let's get to it," Daryl replied, reaching down and starting to drag one of the Walkers, a former guard, over to the center of the grassy lot.

Everyone pitched in and soon they had a sizable pile. Shane was lighting it when the rest of the group came back.

"Might wanna tell them what's goin' on," Daryl suggested. "Ya'll don't want the kids to…" he broke off and for a moment nobody said anything.

"Yeah," Rick agreed after a split second. "I'll tell Lori to keep Carl in the RV for a while."

"I told you that you might need me," Andrea said smugly when she saw the Walkers.

"Yeah well, if you were that damn eager, you'd have got your ass back here when you heard the shots," Daryl snapped as he tossed another Walker into the fire.

Andrea didn't answer.

That night they all slept in their vehicles after quick rinses in the RV's shower. Daryl rolled over onto his stomach and cursed the Southern heat. How the hell had they wound up back here anyway? Fuck Shane and Ft. Benning, they should have stayed where the summers didn't make you wanna kill yourself.

Songbird bit her lower lip.

"Are you sure about this Freddy?"

"I'm sure," Freddy kept his voice reassuring. After all, this was something he'd been after her to do for a while. "I know you're going to be good at it."

"Thanks for your confidence, but it's been so long since I even thought about this…"

"Come on Songbird, nice and easy…"

Freddy's body jerked forward, Songbird gasped. The engine sputtered and choked down.

"I am never going to be able to drive this!" she smacked her palm on the steering wheel in frustration. Michelangelo, who had been unceremoniously dumped from his prone position in the backseat, gave her a look. "And don't you judge me! I will leave you here in a heartbeat."

"Yes you can," Freddy reassured her once more, ignoring her conversation with the dog. He might be okay with the beast now, but Michelangelo and Songbird's communication was somewhat uncanny to say the least. "Now look, you were the one who suggested this looting trip…"

"You act like I'm going shopping for new shoes!" she protested. "The baby needs formula and you said there was a Walgreens…"

"I said there was a Walker infested Walgreens," he cut in dryly.

"Walkers or none, Shaun Jr. will have formula. In and out. We can do it; I know we can!" She frowned again and said, "If I can get the damn van working."

She glanced at Freddy, sort of expecting him to reprimand her for swearing. Daryl always did. Freddy appeared not to notice as he smiled at her.

"The van works fine. This is a case of operator error," he teased.

"Ha ha," she replied humorlessly. "If it's left up to me that baby is going to starve. Come on Freddy!"

"Look you have to learn to drive," he said seriously. "What if we get out there on the road and I die?"

"Don't say things like that!" she smacked him in the arm.

"It's not _likely_," he said. "But it's worth thinking about. There might possibly be someone out there awesome enough to kill me…you never know."

Songbird shook her head and tried again. This time she managed to get nearly to the gate before she stalled the engine.

"Good job!" Freddy patted her shoulder. "We should be at Walgreens in a day and a half at this rate."

"Bite me Freddy Mackensie," Songbird snapped.

"God forbid,' Freddy replied piously.

Daryl and Rick eyed the prison in the early morning sun.

"We goin' in?" Daryl asked.

"Yeah," Rick answered.

"Ever been in a big one like this?" Daryl asked as they stepped inside.

"No," Rick replied. "Never had a reason to."

"Me neither. A few nights in county, but nothin' like this. Kinda makes me nervous."

"All the lockdown would have been controlled electronically," Rick informed Daryl. "And I didn't have you pegged for someone who'd been to jail."

"Yeah?" Daryl was surprised.

"That where you got those tattoos?" Rick asked with a half smile.

Daryl snorted.

"I'm a redneck, not an idiot. These are the work of a trained professional. Except this one." he pointed to a small star on his hand. "This is the work of an untrained, but very pretty girl."

"At least we know your priorities are in order," Rick replied.

He and Daryl hadn't talked much lately, not since everything back at the compound. He wondered if Daryl thought less of him for getting back with Lori so soon after losing Lucky. He also wondered if Daryl was jealous because Rick wasn't sleeping alone.

It didn't seem like it now though; Daryl wasn't the kind of man who hid his feelings after all. Rick figured he'd have heard all about it by now if that was what Daryl thought of him. He guessed it was just that Daryl had been consumed with finding Sophia while he'd been doing his level best to secure their safety at the farm. They'd both been spectacular failures due to aspects beyond their control. Aspects like fate…and Shane Walsh…

"Not many of 'em in here," Daryl remarked, breaking Rick's train of thought. "You don't think we got 'em all do you?"

"I doubt it," Rick answered. "There are probably isolated pockets of them."

"That's real comfortin'," Daryl muttered.

"Hey, there's a welcome sight," Rick pointed his flashlight at a door marked 'cafeteria.'

"Yeah, but what are the odds there's still food in there?" Daryl eyed the door pessimistically. "More like, it's crammed to the damn rafters with Walkers."

"Get your gun ready," was the only reply.

When the doors swung open, Daryl and Rick's jaws dropped.

Songbird's knife landed in the Walkers right temple and Freddy sighed in relief as it fell.

"Thanks," he said. "If I die, I don't want to do it when I'm holding a backpack full of baby formula."

"No shades of responsibility for you huh?" she asked, looking over the shelves for anything they might possibly need for their trip.

"I don't mind kids," Freddy was quick to say. "I actually figured I'd have a few someday…if I could ever find somebody to date me…seriously that is. Date me seriously I mean…"

Songbird tossed Freddy a Twix and said, "Need a minute?"

He didn't answer; he just peeled the mostly melted candy off the wrapper and popped it into his mouth.

"Want to check out the bookstore before we head back?" he asked as they closed up the Walgreens.

She took a step down the sidewalk and then shook her head, saying, "What's the point? I can't take it with me."

Freddy looked after her in surprise as she walked back to the van, whistling for Michelangelo to follow. He'd never heard her voice sound so…dead. He realized too that he hadn't heard her sing since Lucky's funeral. He wondered if he was losing the best part of Songbird. He wondered if she was losing it herself.

A/N: Couple of things…I'm borrowing Daryl's storyline from the graphic novels right now and tweaking it a bit in future chapters…everything won't be the same, but some of it is for sure.

I took creative license with letting Daryl keep his truck. Norman Reedus seems to really love his truck; I didn't want to take it away!

Also, you'll have to take the baby timeline with a grain of salt…according to my story, Lori is going to have the longest pregnancy known to mankind…but I'm not ready for her to have the baby just yet!

And yes, I borrowed the Twix slogan as well. Tee-hee


	48. Chapter 46

Songbird loaded the last of her stuff into the van and closed the door. It was about 5 in the morning and they were moving out. Freddy had the maps with the route to Ft. Benning all highlighted and Erica had made them a big breakfast. Of course, pretty much everyone had tried to talk her out of going as she ate, but that wasn't happening.

They all made the same argument; it was an argument doomed to fail. They all said that she didn't know he was still alive. Songbird knew with just as much assurance that he was. She was convinced that she would know somewhere inside herself if he was dead.

Wouldn't she? She leaned against the van, thinking for the first time that maybe she was wrong. Maybe Daryl was dead. Maybe she and Freddy would die looking for someone who was a Walker by now…no. That much she knew for sure. Daryl Dixon would put a bullet in his brain before he let himself turn.

But maybe she shouldn't be dragging Freddy into this. He had a home, a safe haven; he was the only member of his family left. She knew how to drive now. Maybe she should just get in the van while he was gathering the rest of his stuff and leave. She chewed her lip, thinking over the new plan.

"Hey Songbird," he called. "Come give me a hand."

Too late. He was coming out of the cabin shell, balancing several boxes and bags. His bow was slung over his shoulder and he swore good naturedly as Michelangelo nudged him playfully. She walked over and took the boxes.

"Why are you doing this, Freddy?" she asked bluntly as they put the parcels in the car.

"Because you are," he said simply.

"Yeah, I know, but that shouldn't matter. I'm just a crazy girl looking for a guy who didn't have the sense to stay where he was safe…" they were both surprised at the bitterness in her voice, but she went on after clearing her throat. "And I'll never forgive myself if you get hurt because of it."

"Do you really think I could sit in that compound and wait for you to come back?" Freddy asked. "Songbird, I could wait on him forever…wait…that's not what I meant…well yeah, it's what I meant but not how I meant it to sound…shit," he sighed and raked his hands through his hair. "What I'm saying is, I'm not really waiting for any of them to show back up. If they do, that's cool and if they don't that's okay too. But I'd never be able to stand it if it was you that had gone. I'd look for you the same way you're looking for him."

She glanced up at him and saw him looking down at her. He shrugged awkwardly.

"Oh, Freddy," she sighed, standing on tiptoe to wrap her arms around him. "Don't look at me like that."

His body was warm and solid and muscular and for a moment she thought about simply turning around and walking back into his house. Back to safety, back to comfort, back to a future that didn't include immediate disappointment, danger, or death. He bent his head, breathing in the scent of her hair, the heat of her skin, praying that she'd tell him they were staying…

"Let's go," she said, pulling back and snapping her fingers for Michelangelo.

"Sure."

He got behind the wheel. Songbird got in the passenger seat and pulled her knees to her chest. She wasn't going to betray Daryl like that, not while there was hope that he was still out there. She glanced at Freddy as Paul pulled the gates open and waved to them, but he was looking at the road. She examined the knee of her black jeans studiously and forced her thoughts to Daryl rather than Freddy-related guilt. He was out there. She was 99 percent sure of it.

"Want some meatloaf?" one of the four men at the table asked casually.

Daryl and Rick exchanged a glance to verify that they weren't hallucinating. Daryl shrugged, thinking that from Rick's expression, if he was, Rick was too.

"No…" Rick answered, looking a bit out of his depth.

Daryl cleared his throat significantly. There wasn't much food in the vehicles at the moment.

"I mean…how much is left?" Rick asked.

"This place is stocked out the ass," a black man with a shaved head replied with a grin. "We got enough meatloaf alone to feed everyone if there was an ass in every seat."

Daryl and Rick glanced around. There were a lot of seats. Daryl cocked an eyebrow and Rick nodded.

"Mind if we bring our people in?" Rick asked.

"Go ahead," the same man answered with a magnanimous shrug. "Like I said, we got plenty."

"I'll go," Daryl said. "You can stay in here if you wanna."

Rick nodded and Daryl walked back out to the group.

"Ya'll ain't gonna believe this shit," he said. "There's four guys in there eatin' meatloaf like it ain't nothin'. Said there's enough food for all of us for a long damn time."

Everyone stared at him with their mouths half open until Carl tugged Lori's arm and said, "I'm really hungry Mom."

"Come on, kid," Daryl answered. "Let's go eat."

Everyone followed him, Shane, T, and Andrea with guns drawn, Lori keeping Carl close. Daryl opened the door to the cafeteria and found Rick deep in discussion with the smaller black man. He listened in as he filled a plate.

"No," Rick was saying. "We're not the rescue party. I'm not even sure there's a rescue option left. It's taken over the whole country. If you've been in here you don't have any idea how bad it is out there…"

"We've been holed up in here this whole time," the white guy with the beard said. "Then the guards left us…"

"Wait," Lori broke in suddenly, realizing what the man had said. "You're…you're _not _guards?"

The man with the shaved head laughed and shook his head slowly. The sunlight from the high windows shone on several tattoos on the left side of his head.

"We look like prison guards to you?" he asked.

Lori's grip tightened on Carl's shoulder until the boy winced. Rick looked at her and shook his head slightly.

"Just what exactly are ya'll in for?" Shane asked, shifting the Mossberg rifle to his shoulder.

"Armed robbery," the bearded man replied.

"Tax fraud," said the man with glasses, who'd been silent up until now. "But I didn't do it."

"Drugs," the younger black man answered nervously. "But I'm totally clean now. Gotta be. You know…"

"Murder," the man with the tattooed head put in simply.

Daryl saw Andrea step closer to Shane. Carol caught his gaze and he shrugged. Who the hell cared? They were sharing the meatloaf and right now that was all Daryl gave a damn about.

"Murder?" Lori whispered.

"And how'd you wind up stuck in here?" Daryl questioned.

"Guards left us," the tattooed guy explained. "Most of us ended up as food for those things, and then turned into those things. I guess that's how it works. We got locked in by a few of the last guards and if they didn't get eaten that's a damn shame. I'm Dexter by the way. That's Axel," he nodded at the bearded man. "Thomas," the tax fraud guy, "And this," he put his hand on the smaller man's shoulder, "is Andrew."

Daryl knew the look that passed between them and he sighed. Another "domestic partnership" to deal with. At least he'd had a crash course…and neither of these guys seemed like the type to call him Scottish names just to see him get flustered.

"Once everybody's done eatin' we'll show you around," Dexter went on. "This is C block. We got a laundry room, a garage, a gym that's full of things that wanna eat you, and lots of empty bunks that you can close yourself in for safekeeping."

Daryl shivered and Dexter glanced at him.

"You've been in before?" the man asked.

"I got it written all over my face huh?" Daryl asked.

Dexter shrugged.

"Cells don't lock anyway," the man continued. "That was all electronics. But we've cleared this block pretty well. We ain't fucked much with A and B block though. Probably chock full of those bastards."

"Probably so," Dale agreed.

Dexter showed them to a level above the one the convicts had chosen and Daryl contemplated his cell with a squinty look of irritation.

"You don't like the idea?" Carol asked.

"No," he said flatly.

"You were really in prison?" she questioned, drumming her fingers nervously on the railing Daryl was leaning on.

He could feel the beat travel into his spine and shiver upward. He rolled his shoulders and nodded.

"For what?" she asked shyly.

"Uh, drunk and disorderly's," he answered. "Nothin' much. It was mostly to keep Merle company."

She gave him a slight smile, one of the first he'd seen since Sophia had disappeared. He returned it and then squared his shoulders and went into his cell. His eyes closed involuntarily when he pulled the door shut with a clang. He pushed it back open in another involuntarily movement and sighed with relief when the door responded readily. He could deal with it. He'd be fine.

He was testing the cot when he heard Rick and Shane arguing. The rest of the group gathered in the hall as the argument continued.

"What's going on?" Lori asked. She had to ask several times before it was loud enough to be heard.

"He," Shane pointed at Rick. "Wants to go back to the farm and get Herschel and Glenn and Maggie."

"Look," Lori said to her husband, "I miss Glenn as much as anybody here…but Herschel was more than a little crazy. When he sees all the Walkers we've killed today alone…"

"He's a farmer!" Rick cut in. "We've got plenty of land. Now, if we're going to make this a permanent place to stay we're going to need crops and…"

"And who says we want this to be permanent?" Shane interrupted. "You don't remember the convicts, Rick?"

"Seemed nice enough to me," Daryl said, leaning against his cell door. "And even if they ain't…hell we outnumber 'em like crazy. And we got guns. They don't."

"They don't that we know of," Shane stressed. "We don't know what they have!"

"So we'll take the tour," T-dog said. "Dexter offered to show us around the place. We'll do that, see if there's any weaponry they could have gotten their hands on."

"I'm guessing the guards took most of it," Dale said. "I wouldn't think a maximum security prison would have firearms where prisoners could get at them anyway."

"That's right," Andrea nodded. "I don't think we should be too worried yet."

"So, some of us will tour the place and some of us will go to Herschel's farm?" T-dog asked.

"I think Rick oughta be the one to go talk to Herschel," Daryl said.

Rick nodded, but Lori said, "Honestly, Rick, I'd feel better if you looked around the place with us."

"I guess one more day won't make a difference," Rick agreed after a moment of thought. "Let's get the tour."

Dexter showed them around without much comment; everything was pretty much as he'd said it would be. A laundry room that wasn't much good without electricity, and a garage. The good thing about the garage was the amount of vehicles and the gas pumps that stood along the wall. So there wouldn't be a fuel shortage for a bit longer at least.

"The gym is this way," Dexter said, pointing down one of the dark corridors. "I'd feel better leading the way if I had one of those."

He looked at Rick's gun and raised his eyebrow.

"I'd have to trust you first," Rick said easily. "Give me some time to get to know you."

"Hell, what about us trusting you?" the other man's voice iced over just a bit. "We don't know shit about you either, you know."

"We'll just take it easy," Rick kept his tone light, even though he didn't like the glint in Dexter's eyes. "We haven't shot you yet," he went on, trying for levity. "You can trust us."

"Doesn't look like I have a choice," Dexter replied. "Here's the gym."

From the sound of it, Daryl knew it really was "full of things that want to eat you."

"We can deal with that later," Rick said. "Thanks for the tour Dexter."

"You can call me Dex," the man replied. "See you around."

"I guess I'll head back to Herschel's now," Rick continued. "That didn't take as long as I thought it might."

"Not much to see," Daryl agreed, looking up. "Just cell after fuckin' cell. Don't get yourself killed."

"On second thought," Dale spoke up. "I don't think you should go alone. Mind if I tag along? He and I had something of a rapport and I didn't really get to say good-bye to Glenn and Maggie."

"Sure," Rick agreed.

"You'd better let your wife know you're leaving," T-dog said with a small smile. "Don't ask any of us to be the messenger that gets shot."

"That's a good point," Rick smacked T on the shoulder and walked away after arranging to meet Dale at the RV in twenty minutes.

Daryl went up to his "room" just in time to catch the tail end of the argument between Rick and Lori. He ignored it because he knew nothing Lori said would change Rick's mind and he figured that she was just venting steam anyway. He poked the mattress fastidiously and sighed deeply. He was leaving his blankets just the way they were in the truck bed in case they needed to leave in a hurry, but he'd found clean sheets and blankets in the laundry room. That didn't mean he'd ever feel clean on that bed though.

He heard a small scuffling sound from one of the other rooms and went to investigate. Carol was taking the mattress off the top bunk…or trying to.

"What the hell you doin'?" he asked.

"I thought it might make the bed more comfortable," she said. "The mattresses are so thin…"

"Sure as fuck are," he agreed. "You want some help?"

"No," she shook her head, looking down at the floor. "I can manage it."

"Yeah well, so can I," Daryl reached over her head. "Move," he said shortly, yanking the mattress down.

She stepped to the side and he laid the "new" mattress on top of the other one.

"That's a good idea," he said. "Think I'm gonna do the same thing."

As he did, he saw Carol out of the corner of his eye.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she answered. "But…well I thought that, since you did that for me…I'd help you make the bed up."

"Oh. You ain't gotta do that," he wasn't sure exactly what to say.

"I want to," she suited action to words and soon his bed was made with sharp hospital corners and two blankets, the pillows from all four beds fluffed and laid out at the head of his bed.

"Damn you're efficient."

She just ducked her head and shrugged before she walked back to the cell she would be sharing with T. Daryl looked down at the clean sheets and then at his grimy skin. Too damn bad about getting the bed all messed up…unless…hadn't Dex said something about a shower room? He decided to find out.

It was only after his shower, when he climbed beneath the sheets, that her memory pushed into his mind. It always did when he was tired, too tired to push it away. He felt his arm tense as he unthinkingly reached out to pull her against him. She wasn't there. He repeated the words to himself over and over in the hopes that tonight would be the night it stopped hurting so much.

It wasn't.


	49. Chapter 47

When Daryl woke up the next morning he heard Rick's voice in the hall. He sat up and stretched, debated putting a shirt on and decided against it, and joined the group. Glenn wasn't part of it. Daryl was surprised when his heart sank. He'd really gotten used to the kid and he'd missed him more than he'd expected to.

"So he said what now?" Shane asked.

"He said he'll come back with me," Rick repeated. "There'd been an attack. Glenn and Maggie were burning some of the Walker bodies. When I told him about the security we have to offer he agreed. I think he's afraid he's going to lose Maggie. He lost the boy."

"So why ain't he here?" as always Daryl had a hard time wrapping his mind around anything straight out of bed.

"He wanted to get some things together," Rick began.

"Things like what?" Shane cut in with a derisive snort. "Photo albums? Some of that antique furniture? Dusty books?"

"Things like seeds, livestock and feed," Rick answered steadily. "Those horses can pull a plow, the chickens…"

"How the hell you going to get horses here?" Shane asked.

"Herschel has trailers," Dale pointed out.

"Trucks got a hitch," Daryl said. "I can pull that."

"I told them to get started packing," Rick continued. "I said we'd be back sooner rather than later. So, it's me, Daryl, and Dale?"

Nobody said anything so they set out quickly. Not far from the prison the van Rick was driving blew a tire.

"Ain't a good start," Daryl said, looking down at the shredded rubber.

"There's a spare in the back," Dale replied.

"Still…" Daryl told himself he wasn't superstitious, but he hated starting on the wrong foot like this. It made him feel like something worse was going to happen. He rolled his shoulders and rubbed the back of his neck. The feeling wouldn't go away. Something was coming; he could feel it in the air.

Songbird drove along while Freddy slept. She kept a glance at the map, but she wasn't really worried about getting lost. The trip so far had been uneventful to the point of being boring and Michelangelo, the traitor, was asleep with Freddy, lying across the backseat.

"_Man's_ best friend is right," Songbird muttered to herself.

Michelangelo's ear twitched, but his eyes remained determinedly closed. Suddenly she leaned forward. There was another herd of Walkers shambling along the highway. She couldn't figure it out. What was with the sudden pack behavior? She wondered if they were adapting; were they traveling in packs because they were degenerating?

She could tell even from the van that they were basically just walking skeletons. Most of the flesh on the corpses had been either eaten away or simply weathered off by the elements. They'd be stronger in a pack. With a shiver she resolved to talk to Freddy when he woke up and not think about it for the moment.

Daryl helped Glenn and Maggie load their things in the vehicles.

"How far away is this prison?" Glenn asked.

"Not more than half a day," Daryl answered. "We'll be back soon enough if everything goes right."

"I think we've had all our bad luck for the day," Dale said easily.

Daryl shrugged and got into the truck. Herschel, Maggie, Glenn, and Otis's widow, Patricia, all got into the R.V. Rick got into the prison van and pulled out of the driveway slowly, leading the way. The R.V. followed and Daryl and left last, taking a last glance at the farm. He felt vaguely guilty, wondering if it was the sheer amount of gunfire needed to take care of the barn Walkers that had drawn new crowds to the farm.

He did his best to shrug away the guilt as they drove on. Herschel knew where the prison was and he'd mentioned a different way, a little out of the way but near town, that they could take and load up on supplies at the same time. Rick had agreed so they were headed in the opposite direction from the way they'd come now. Daryl wished he could shake the feeling of impending…hell, he didn't even know what. But something damn it. Something.

Daryl was irritated some time later when the caravan stopped. He flung the truck door open and closed it much more gently than he was inclined to. He swore under his breath as he walked past the R.V. to where a man stood at the van, speaking to Rick.

"You're the first people I've seen in so long," the man's voice was exhausted and relieved as he spoke.

What the hell? Did he think he was coming along with them now or something? If he did, Daryl would be more than willing to set him straight.

"How long have you been alone?" Dale asked.

"Since winter…I guess about six months," the man replied. "There were other's…but we're all that's left."

"Who's we?" Daryl asked, crossing his arms over his chest and glancing around. He didn't see anyone else.

"My family," the man said. "They're over there," he gestured behind him, toward the woods. "At the camp we have. I was trying to find something to eat."

"You oughta be havin' plenty of luck," Daryl drawled. "There's somethin' to eat all over the place. Or are you still waitin' on your huntin' license?"

The man's face went a dull red and he said, "I was never a hunter…"

"Your mistake."

"Daryl!" Maggie hissed.

"Anyway," Rick cut in. "What can we do for you?"

"I hoped you might be able to help us. We have a car but it won't start. I know that the longer we stay in one place the more danger we're in…then maybe after it's fixed we could follow you. We can pull our own weight…"

"Don't look like it," Daryl muttered, not quite softly enough for people to miss hearing him, but not loudly enough for anyone to risk addressing the statement.

"Well, we can take a look at the car at the very least," Dale said.

When no one objected, the man said, "Thank you. I can lead you to it…by the way, my name is Bradley. Bradley Phelps."

Once they arrived, even Daryl had to admit that the camp was pretty well set up. They'd camped in a cave with a pretty good view, and there was a stream near the site. The car in question was a Subaru Forrester and Dale walked over, giving it the once over.

"Hey Dad, you're back!" a boy of about ten came sliding down from the cave enthusiastically.

"Hey buddy," Bradley rested his hand on the boy's sandy hair affectionately. "This is my son Greg."

"I've got a boy about his age named Carl," Rick said.

Daryl dug through his pockets while Rick answered Greg's questions about Carl and came up with a somewhat dented pack of Parliament's. Further rummaging produced a lighter and he lit a cigarette, inhaling deeply.

He noticed the look on Bradley's face and asked, "Smoker?"

"I was," the man answered.

Daryl tossed him the pack and the lighter and Bradley lit up, closing his eyes in pleasure as he inhaled.

"You gotta give 'em back you know," Daryl drawled.

"And you shouldn't be smoking anyway," a feminine voice said from behind Daryl.

He turned when he heard the words. Rick turned as well and saw all the color drain from Daryl's face. When he looked at the girl he understood why Daryl looked so shell shocked. The girl standing in front of him had reddish blonde hair and pale skin, big blue eyes and a friendly, open smile.

"Are you okay?" she asked Daryl in confusion, reaching out toward him.

"Fine," he answered, stepping back and turning away.

He wondered when he'd stop feeling sick. God, that had been a low blow. Thinking back, the other girl didn't look remarkably like…her. There must have been hundreds of thousands of girls with red-blonde hair and blue eyes. This girl's hair was only just past her shoulders, hers had been nearly waist length. She had been a bit taller, a lot leaner, her voice had been lower than this girl's…but their eyes were the same. Big, deep blue, even the same sparkle and innocence had been there briefly. His stomach clenched tight.

"You all right?" Rick asked in an undertone.

"Why the hell wouldn't I be?"

"Because Bradley's daughter looks a little like…"

"Don't," Daryl cut in sharply. "Don't say it."

"It's about time you let somebody say it. Have you even said her name to yourself?" Rick questioned.

"What the fuck? Don't give me none of that psychologist bullshit! How I deal with this ain't none of your damn business and if I don't wanna hear her name then you better hope you ain't the one I catch sayin' it."

He walked away before Rick could say anything else. He devoutly hoped that they wouldn't be able to fix the car. He just wanted to get on the road again, as far away from that girl as he could get.

The car repairs, like all car repairs, took a lot longer than anyone had thought and by the time it was done, three new people had been added to their prison camp. Just what Daryl wanted.

"We've been invited to camp at their site tonight," Rick said. "It's a good set up."

Daryl didn't bother to voice his opinion, he just used the bit of daylight had had left to go hunting. He wasn't surprised to have better luck than Bradley. He was a little surprised at the amount of luck he had. He managed to bring down a boar. Dragging it back to camp was a bitch due to the lingering pain in his side, but he enjoyed the looks on everyone's faces.

He handed the gutting over to Rick and Glenn since he'd done the hunting. The prospect of bacon lessened their bitching. Daryl walked over and sat on his tailgate watching everyone else bustle around the camp, building fires, boiling water, gathering supplies, and packing for the trip in the morning.

"Um, excuse me…"

He sighed before turning to face the girl again.

"If I offended you I didn't mean to," she said nervously. "I was just kidding."

He didn't know whether to look away so it hurt less or focus on her eyes and enjoy the shadowy reflection of his girl. He settled for a quick glance before examining his boot laces intently.

"You didn't," he answered, deciding to be honest so that maybe she'd leave him alone in the future. "You remind me of somebody. Somebody I lost."

"Your daughter?"

"Fuck no!" As always, Daryl had to shake of a shiver of revulsion at the thought. "My…my wife."

"I remind you of your wife?" the girl tilted her head at him. "What was her name?"

What the hell kind of day was this? How many more people were going to do this to him? He just shook his head.

"Wow. You must have loved her a lot," she waited but he didn't say anything so she went on, "My name is Emma by the way. I didn't get a chance to introduce myself. I've met everyone but you."

Emma held out her hand and Daryl shook it.

"I'm Daryl."

"I'm glad you're here," Emma gave him a smile and went on, "Daddy's an awful hunter."

Daryl gave her a half grin and she walked away. He wouldn't exactly say that he was glad to be there, but maybe he could manage this. The more he looked at Emma the less she looked like…her. In fact, now she just looked like her dad to him. He had reddish blonde hair and blue eyes too. It must have just been the shock of seeing someone so close in age to…he tried once again to say her name and, as always, he couldn't force it through his throat. Just as he couldn't look at the pictures of her in the folder under the bench seat of his truck. Just as he'd been unable to sleep for weeks after he'd lost her. Just as it still hurt when she showed up in his dreams.


	50. Chapter 48

They left early the next morning, taking a quick pass through town and gathering a few things there before heading for the prison as quickly as possible. The old Subaru seemed to be holding up well and Daryl supposed there could be worse people to be stuck with. That Bradley guy wasn't much of a hunter, but he'd kept his family safe. Emma and Greg seemed like good kids; they did what he said and didn't talk too much.

Lori was waiting outside the prison gates with binoculars and T-dog and Shane forced the gates open to let them in.

"Seem to have picked up a little extra," Andrea commented as Bradley, Emma, and Greg parked and got out.

It took a while to get everyone informed and introduced. Herschel, Dale and Rick began unloading the horses and the equipment. Emma walked over and, after a brief discussion, was allowed to ride on the bay horse behind Maggie. Her laugh rang over the prison yard in a way that made Daryl feel sort of sick. Without explaining himself, he turned and walked into the complex.

Once he was in his room, he leaned his shoulders against the bars and rubbed his face with both hands, sighing.

"Are you all right?"

"Carol," he said flatly. "God damn it, I can't get any fuckin' time to myself."

"I'm sorry…I can go back out there," she started to turn away.

"No. Hang on," now he felt like an asshole on top of everything else. He always did his best to keep his temper in check around Carol, figuring that her life had been shitty enough without him acting like a dick too. "I just…God I didn't expect it."

The words rushed out before he could stop them.

"What?" Carol asked gently.

"She…that man, Bradley, his daughter. God…she's…they've got the same eyes, the same color hair. I thought…for a second I thought…"

Carol watched him sit down, resting his head in his hands. He never mentioned Songbird and they had all learned quickly not to mention her either. For the past few months it had been better…easier…to pretend she hadn't existed.

"How old is she?" Carol asked; she hadn't gotten a good look at the kids.

"Younger. I'd have said high school kid," he made a face as he realized 18 could have been a high school kid too. "15…16?"

"And she looks like…" Carol trailed off.

"A lot like," Daryl agreed. When silence descended and stretched he said, "I'm not…I don't want…I'm not that kinda man."

"I know," Carol put her hand on his arm. "I didn't think you were. But, and I know it's not really my business, but don't you think it's time you stopped carrying all this around with you?"

"All what?

"Pain. Anger."

"I ain't…"

"You won't even say her name."

"You and Rick in cahoots? He just said the same damn thing."

She gave him a small smile and shook her head.

"I can't say it," he admitted after another few moments. He recalled Rick's accusation and said, "Not even to myself." Another minute or two dragged out weighed down by grief and stretched by sudden guilt. "Hell, you got better things to do than listen to me complain."

Carol only shrugged. They sat together on his bed for a while, neither one talking, both understanding a new depth to loss; the feeling of losing someone that you didn't expect to be able to lose, someone you'd protected for so long that you'd started to believe that something about the two of you together made you both invincible.

People settled in. After a few weeks there was a routine to the days, Daryl guessed. Greg and Carl got along okay, Emma looked a little lost from time to time, but Maggie was nice to her so that worked out all right too. They started planting; Rick started planning to clear the rest of the prison of Walkers. Everything seemed to be going okay.

One afternoon, while Daryl was whittling chess pieces for the set Glenn had been bugging him about, Carol asked, "Has anyone seen T?"

"Not since breakfast," Daryl said, glancing up and promptly cutting into his thumb. "Fuck!"

Emma, who'd been sitting in the floor of his cell, chatting with Glenn, jumped up.

"I've got band-aids in my room!" she said, before dashing off.

"Hang on a second and I'll see I can't help you find him," Daryl went on, wincing as he applied pressure to his thumb.

"I'll just get started looking," she said. "Maybe you can meet up with me soon?"

"Sure," Glenn answered. "We'll all help, right Maggie?"

Maggie nodded and Carol walked out. Emma came back with gauze and tape. She wrapped Daryl's thumb quickly and neatly and then gave him a smile, clearly wanting a compliment. There were times she was so much like his girl that it hurt.

"Thanks," he said gruffly. "Now we gotta go track T-dog down. Ain't like he coulda gone far though."

He sent Glenn and Maggie in the opposite direction, and allowed Emma to follow him the same way Carol had gone. They found her two levels below them, her hand out to open the barbershop door.

"Hang on," Daryl called.

"We know it's clear," Carol called back, gesturing to Emma's new bob, courtesy of Maggie earlier in the week.

"Yeah, well, you can't be too careful," he said, but she opened the door anyway.

He was too far up the hall to catch her when she fell.

"So," Freddy said, eyeing the place. "This is Ft. Benning."

"Yep," Songbird answered. "But…I don't see any cars." Or trucks, she thought.

"It's a pretty big place," he answered soothingly. "We'll look harder."

"Okay."

"Come on! Where's that old Songbird enthusiasm?" Freddy pulled her against him and ruffled her hair, but all he got in return was a deep sigh.

Daryl ran down the hall, swinging the crossbow around so he could aim it quickly. Emma dropped to her knees, pulling Carol's head into her lap.

"Fuck!" the word burst out in an exclamation of sheer shock as Daryl looked into the room.

Emma glanced in as well and all the color drained from her face as her hand flew to her mouth.

T-dog's body lay still on the concrete floor of the barbershop. His head lay a few feet away. His eyes were open, seeming to stare right at Daryl. Daryl heard Emma trying not to sob. Carol was still out cold. He swallowed the urge to throw up and had started to turn when the eyes staring vacantly at him blinked. He stepped back, nearly tripping over his own feet.

"Jesus!"

"What?" Emma gasped. "What else?"

"He's…" Daryl couldn't say it. He aimed the crossbow, but he didn't shoot.

"Has he been bitten?" Emma asked.

"Had to have been," he answered watching T's jaw open and shut in that random chewing motion. "But that don't make no sense. Go get everybody. Hurry."

Emma lowered Carol's head to the floor carefully and did as Daryl had asked. Daryl lowered himself to the floor and pulled her into his arms. What the hell had happened?

The group gathered around them slowly.

"What the hell happened?" Axel asked.

"I don't know," Daryl answered. "He was like that when Carol found him…"

Shane walked up.

"He's dead," Daryl said. "Not all the way though."

"He got bit?" Shane barked.

"I don't know! Why the hell would he cut his own damn head off?"

"Who was the last person to see him?" Shane asked.

"We need to…" Bradley began.

"What we need to do is put the most likely suspects under lock and key," Shane cut in.

"What do you mean by that?" Glenn, as always, sounded like he was a prime suspect.

"You mean us don't you?" Dex asked.

Daryl regretted sending Emma for Shane; he guessed the tendency to call the cops in situations like this died harder than he'd have thought. Carol was clinging to him so there wasn't much he could do though.

"Everybody who is not a convicted felon raise your hand," Shane said, then continued with a smirk, "No, that'll take too long. How about just the felons. Yeah. That'll make it easier."

"Shane," Dale began.

"Shut up old man. You four…wait. Three. There oughta be four of you," Shane eyed the group.

"Shane!" Dale repeated in such a commanding tone that everyone's eyes locked on him. "Where is Andrea?"

Shane's grip tightened on the shotgun until every tendon in his right arm stood out against his skin, but all he said was, "We'll look for her after we get them put away."

"There may not be time!" Dale said emphatically.

Dexter cut in with, "What do you mean "put away?"

He took a step toward Shane, Shane swung the butt of the Mossberg at Dex's jaw and the man dropped like a rock.

Andrew cried out and rushed forward; Shane leveled the shotgun barrel in the kid's face. Axel stepped up slowly and put one hand on Andrew's shoulder and held the other up.

"Listen, we'll do what you say," he said. "We don't want anyone to get hurt, you follow me?"

"Ya'll can carry him between you," Shane ordered.

As the two began to obey, Dale threw his hands up and walked away.

"Where are you going?" Shane asked.

"To find Andrea," Dale answered without turning around.

After a silent moment, Shane walked away. Daryl saw everyone relax. A person didn't realize the effects of being in a room with Walsh until he was gone and the tension dissipated.

Glenn and Maggie turned to follow Dale. Bradley guided Emma and Greg back to their room. Daryl stood, pulling Carol with him. They walked slowly down toward the room she'd shared with T, but when he turned to go inside it she shook her head violently.

"Not in there," she sobbed. "Not where he used to sleep…"

"Okay," Daryl wondered just what the hell to do with her.

His room was right across the hall from hers, so it seemed like the most simple solution. He let her lie on his bed and she curled up, still crying.

"Rick'll figure it out," Daryl said after a few moments. "He'll…"

"He'll what?" Carol demanded. "Shoot T like he shot my daughter?"

She pressed her hand to her mouth as soon as they words were out, but Daryl only shrugged. He figured he wasn't the only one who needed to vent some pain and anger.

In less than two years time Carol had survived an apocalypse, lost a husband (even if he was an asshole), a daughter, and a boyfriend. He wished there was something to say, but there really wasn't. "I'm sorry," was stupid because it hadn't been his fault. "It'll get better," was a lie, because if she'd loved T the way he loved his girl it sure didn't seem to. "I know how you feel," just wasn't true. He didn't know how it felt to lose a kid, or to lose two people so close together. He'd lost Merle and…her, but there'd been a long time in between.

At a loss for words, and figuring he could be more use looking for Andrea, Daryl started to stand up. Carol reached out and grabbed his shirt. He looked down at her in surprise.

"Stay," she whispered. "Please stay."

"Yeah. Okay," he sat down again, resting his head against the wall behind them while Carol sobbed.

Because of that, he missed what happened next, but Dale and Andrea didn't mind retelling it.

Andrea had been in the laundry room. She was taking Lori's turn with the clothes because Lori was feeling sick a lot lately. When she looked up, she'd seen Thomas standing in the doorway.

"Hey," she'd said, gathering an armload of clothes. "Looking for someone?"

"No," the man had replied, leaning against the doorframe.

"Do you want to help?" she'd asked.

"No," he'd said again, giving her an odd half smile.

"Well then what do you want?" she'd questioned with a sigh.

"You," he'd answered, stepping forward and bringing his hands out from behind his back. A long knife glinted there and he continued, "More specifically your head."

"Fuck you, you psycho," Andrea had drawn her gun, but he was faster somehow, snatching it away and whipping it across her temple, knocking her down.

A few minutes later, Dale, who'd been looking frantically for her, had heard a scream and Andrea had burst out of the laundry room with blood pouring down her face.

"Andrea!"

"Dale! Help me! He's…"

She hadn't had to finish, Thomas had come charging after her, blood still dripping from the long blade of the knife. The next few moments had been confused. Andrea had tripped, Thomas had lunged, Dale had aimed and shot and, for the first time, he had been perfectly on target. Thomas had fallen, his face obliterated.

"Andrea?" Dale had questioned. "Andrea what did he do to you?"

"He said he was going to cut off my head!" Andrea had said, pressing her hand to her cheek and wincing as she spoke. "Like he did T-dog's…is T…"

"Yes," Dale had answered. "I'm afraid so."

"Oh God Dale…"

"Come on," Dale had helped her stand and then continued, "We'll get Herschel to sew up that cheek."

And that's what they had done. Everyone was gathered around to hear the story, including Rick and Herschel who hadn't even known what was going on until Glenn went and got them in from outside.

"So it was Thomas all along?" Rick said. "And you jailed Dex and the rest?"

He turned a look on Shane, who simply shrugged.

"Well, I guess it's time for damage control," Rick sighed, walking down to where the men were being held.

He had no idea that it was already much too late for that.


	51. Chapter 49

A/N: This contains something that is sort of a plot twist from the graphic novel series. It gets revealed in Volume Three…but fair warning if you haven't read that far/aren't reading them. I don't know if they plan to incorporate it into the show or not.

"Hang on a second Rick," Daryl called, leaving Carol with the other women.

"I'm gonna have some pissed off people…" Rick began.

"Yeah but I got a question. I want you to examine T-dog."

"That's not a question."

"Come on. I think it's pretty damn clear that Thomas didn't kill T to keep us all safe."

"Yeah, I don't think so," Rick agreed. "But I still don't understand…"

"He turned into one of them," Daryl said. "He must have been bit."

Rick stopped and turned toward the barbershop. Both men braced themselves as Rick opened the door. T's head worked its jaws in a frustrated chewing motion and Daryl's stomach twisted. He noticed that Rick had gone pale, but they both knelt and examined the body. There were no wounds. No bites, no scratches, nothing.

"How the fuck is he still…he oughta be just dead Rick."

Daryl couldn't stop the anger that filled his voice. He didn't even understand why he was mad. It didn't change anything in the long run. T-dog was gone either way, but something about this was just wrong.

Rick cleared his throat and shifted his weight as he answered, "Jenner told me something that night at the CDC…"

"What?" Daryl asked when Rick just trailed off. "What'd he tell you?"

"He said that it wasn't the bites or the scratches…it's just death."

"The hell you talkin' about?" Daryl demanded.

"Death is all it takes. Any death, infected or not will bring you back as a Walker."

Daryl simply stared at Rick in shock for several long moments.

"Daryl," Rick began.

That was all it took. Daryl's temper exploded.

"And you're just now sayin' somethin'? What the fuck is wrong with you? You didn't think that was information we could use?" he yelled. "Goddamn it Rick, we deserved to know!"

"What difference does it make?" Rick demanded. "You tell me why it makes one bit of difference!"

Daryl groped for words, but none came. He couldn't explain why it made a difference. It just did. Part of it was the fact that he'd trusted Rick, and part of it was more intangible anger at the universe. When someone died damn it they should just be dead! People shouldn't have to look the ones they loved in the eye and be greeted with nothing more than mindless hunger.

"I don't know!" he finally shouted back. "But you shoulda said somethin'!"

A groan from the head on the floor interrupted what Rick was about to say. Daryl swung the crossbow down and aimed, releasing the bolt before he allowed himself to think. T's head was finally quiet.

"I didn't want everyone to panic," Rick answered.

"Yeah. 'Cause we've all been real calm," Daryl snarled. "You gonna tell 'em now?"

"I don't know," Rick replied. "I don't know what to do! You think it's easy? Why don't you try being a leader for once! You just sit around in the back of the group sulking because you lost Songbird and…"

"What the fuck?" Daryl cut in. "What gives you the right…"

"What gives you the right to question what I tell people?"

The two men had stepped closer during the argument and were now only inches apart. Rick was the first to back up, not because he was afraid, but because he knew that Daryl probably didn't want a fight anymore than he did.

"I shouldn't have said that about…"

"Don't say it again," Daryl cut in. "You wanna tell 'em then you tell 'em. You don't…I won't say anything. We gonna go get Dex and the rest?"

"Yeah."

On the way down, they passed Patricia, Otis's widow, as she came up the hall.

"Were you looking for someone?" Rick asked.

The woman only shook her head and murmured something about not being used to the place yet as she walked on past them.

"Now, when we get there don't act threatening," Rick said in a low voice. "Keep the bow down and…"

"I ain't stupid Rick," Daryl answered. "Figured I'd let you handle it. I'm just along for the ride."

They stopped in front of the cell where Axle, Dex, and Andrew were sitting.

"You're off the hook," Rick said lightly. "We know it wasn't you."

"And you think that's good enough?" Dex asked, not bothering to move even when Rick opened the door. "Who really did it? Was it that Shane guy? He's crazy as fuck."

Axle stood, looking between his cellmates and the open door. Andrew stayed beside Dex, looking nervous.

"It's all I've got," Rick replied. "And it was Thomas that did it. One of yours. The "tax fraud" guy. Why don't you tell me what he was really in for?"

"We never knew," Dex said, finally standing up. "But we sure as hell knew it wasn't no tax fraud. Ya'll still got those guns?"

"Yes," Rick answered. "But after what we've been through, the last thing we want to do is use them."

"That so?" Dex asked, stepping out of the cell. "I guess that's good news for us then."

He put his hand on Andrew's shoulder and they walked down the hall. Axle gave them a glance and then followed the other two.

"We're going to meet up later for a talk," Rick called. "I've got something to say that's going to interest everyone. Cafeteria in an hour."

"We'll be there," Dex called back.

"I think this is hopeless," Songbird said. "If they were here then we would have seen something by now."

"Maybe," he finally admitted. "So…on to the next place then."

"Where?" she asked in frustration. "This was the only lead I had! How much trouble would it have been for him to be where he said he was going to be? He already left me once!"

"I don't know if it counts as leaving you," Freddy replied reassuringly. "I'm sure he thought you were dead. Or a Walker."

"Freddy that doesn't make me feel better!" she flung her hands out and then stomped back to the van.

In the van, Songbird pulled her knees to her chest and wiped the tears from her cheeks in irritation. Crying wouldn't help. Her mind scrambled for something that _would_ help but she didn't come up with anything. She suddenly realized that, in addition to being scared and sad, she was angry. Furiously angry. How could he have just left her like that? How dare he not be where he'd said he would be! She punched the side of the van and then swore when it really, really hurt.

Freddy opened the back door and crawled in with her at the noise.

"I didn't mean to make you mad," he began.

"You didn't make me mad," she replied. "I…Freddy I just don't know what to do."

Her voice broke on the last word and a tear spilled down her cheek in spite of her resolve.

"We can keep looking," he assured her. "I…"

"There's no way to know where they went," she answered with a shake of her head. "What's the point of wasting gas and possibly your life looking for a guy who didn't trust me to survive without him?"

"Well, you know…I'm not doing much with my life at the moment," he said. "It's not like…"

"You could be in your incredibly safe home right now and instead you're on a wild goose chase with me. If anything happened to you because of this I'd never be able to forgive myself."

It was quiet in the van for a few minutes and then Freddy asked, "You really think you'd outlast me?"

"Oh Freddy," Songbird dropped her face into her palm and shook her head. "What now?"

In Freddy's head it went like this:

"This," he tilted her chin up and kissed her, cupping her head in his hand and taking her mouth quickly and forcefully. Her lips parted in surprise, but she soon returned the kiss, pressing her body against his, melting into him in a way that he'd never seen her respond to Daryl. He pulled her into his lap, letting her straddle him as he started undressing her.

In reality it went like this:

"There's this…we could…you…if you really don't think…damn it!"

When she raised her head to look at him in confusion he leaned forward and kissed her. Commanding had been his aim and he might have put a bit too much force behind it. And he forgot the part about bracing her head with his hand.

"Ow," Songbird whispered when the back of her head came into contact with the window of the van.

"Sorry, that wasn't exactly…" he hadn't moved back so they were sort of just talking against each other's mouths.

The next part of the plan was to pull her into his lap, so he went for it.

"Ow," she whispered again as the harsh van carpet rug-burned her left knee.

"Sorry," he did pull back this time. "Okay, so I'm not good at this. Right now. That's what I mean. I'm usually good at this I swear."

She sort of doubted it, but she didn't really care. She leaned in and kissed him again. Freddy made a surprised sound low in his throat and finally remembered to put his hand behind her head, burying his fingers in her hair as she kissed him. It was different from the first time they'd kissed, where he'd known her mind hadn't been on him. This was way better. She must actually be into him. Or maybe it was because she was more experienced now. He didn't want to think about that.

Songbird felt Freddy's muscles tighten as she shifted her weight, rocking against him. She forced her mind away from comparisons and backed off, letting him take over. He ran his hands down her back until they rested on her ass and then he brought her even closer, kissing her more and more deeply. Her hands moved down his chest as well and he leaned up when she caught the edge of his shirt and tugged upward. She tossed the shirt into a corner of the van and dipped her head, kissing down his neck and over his shoulders. He remembered he'd always had no idea what to do with his hands in moments like these.

"Um…" he began. "I um…"

"What's wrong?" she asked. "Change your mind?"

"About you or this?" he asked. "I mean no. Neither. It's just that…"

"Shhh," Songbird put her finger over his lips. "If you keep talking you'll say something you shouldn't."

"I always do," Freddy answered. "One time I…never mind."

He lifted her a bit and then rolled them over, putting her on her back underneath him. It wasn't quite the seamless maneuver he'd hoped for, but it got the job done and she was still kissing him. It was nearly too good to be true. For the past year and some odd months he'd wanted her and now…he groaned when she arched her hips, pressing her body against his.

Songbird wondered when he was going to get around to undressing her. She didn't want to take too much time to think. Her motives weren't noble. She was furious with Daryl and she simply wanted the comfort of someone's arms around her. She wanted the warmth of Freddy's skin and the look in his eyes. Maybe she should stop. It wasn't fair…

Freddy began unbuttoning her shirt. He noticed that her breasts fit into the palm of his hand when he cupped them. He pinched one of her nipples and she gasped as the first genuine shock of pleasure went through her.

He saw her bite her lower lip as she looked up at him. That was a nice look to get, pleasure hazed with a hint of surprise. He lowered his head and took her nipple into his mouth. Her back arched.

"Oh god, Freddy…"

He'd never imagined actually having her like this, her voice smoky and desperate, her nails digging into his shoulders, every muscle in her slight body tight as a bowstring. She was gasping every breath by the time he moved down, kissing over her stomach and, after trying and failing to unbuckle her belt without stopping the kisses, sitting up slightly and tugging her pants off.

She sat up too, trailing her fingers down the bulge in the front of his jeans. He closed his eyes and pulled her against him, holding her tight, needing to feel with every inch of him that this was real.

She felt him shiver when she rubbed more firmly and she got her nerve up. His zipper sounded loud in the close quarters of the van. She wrapped her hand around him and he groaned again, resting his chin on the top of her head and focusing on the pleasure of the movements. When he was in danger of focusing a bit too much, he reached down and caught her hand, then pushed her backward, putting her underneath him again.

"Songbird," he whispered. "You're sure about this right?"

"Yes," she lied.

The truth was that her heart was pounding so hard she felt lightheaded and she felt vaguely sick. But she still didn't want to stop. Freddy's kisses and touches were far from experienced, but his body was practically faultless. His shoulders were broad and she loved the fact that she could feel so much muscle flex when he moved. His chest was firm against her breasts, his abs contracted when she moved against him, the muscles of his back slid under her hands as he wrapped his arms around her.

She was aware that he was kissing her, that he had shifted to rest just at her entrance, but it felt like it was happening to someone else. She was Daryl's wife (practically) and she wouldn't ever betray him like this…

Freddy went still when he heard her sob.

"Songbird?" he pulled back and looked at her.

"I'm okay," she lied again. "You can…"

"I can _what_?" he asked incredulously. "You think I'd…while you're _crying_?"

But God, he sort of wanted to. He could feel her heat and he was so fucking close to what he wanted! He clenched his jaw and moved back, sitting up and pulling his jeans back on silently. She covered her face with both hands and cried even harder. After a few moments he handed her clothes to her and she pulled them on without speaking. He noticed that she was shaking.

"I think I'm in love with you."

Not what he'd meant to say. She stared at him in shock.

"Huh," he said, trying to keep his voice light and failing miserably. "You were right. I kept going and said something I shouldn't have. Do me a favor okay? Don't laugh."

Yanking his boots on, Freddy swung the van door open and jumped to the ground.

"Where are you going?" Songbird asked.

"I'll be back," he answered, closing the doors and walking away.

She stayed in the van for about a minute after that, and then she pulled open the door, told Michelangelo to get inside so she would know he was safe, and then chased after Freddy.

"Wait please!"

"Come on Songbird! Can you give me just a second?"

"No. Freddy I…"

"Just leave me alone okay?" he yelled. "Don't fucking push it!"

She stood still and quiet, totally shocked. She'd never seen Freddy lose his temper. She didn't get a good look at it now because he turned his back on her and stomped away. She turned to go back to the van and caught her breath; Freddy's yell had attracted some attention. A horde of Walkers, dressed in ragged fatigues mostly, were now between her and the van.

"Freddy!" she shrieked.

"Damn it!" he shouted, turning back around to really give her a piece of his mind…and possibly drag her back to the van to finish what they'd started. "Fuck."

Their weapons were in the van which, though close was a Walker hoard away. She backed up until she stood beside him.

"What are we going to do?" she whispered.

"I don't know," he answered honestly, putting his arm around her and pulling her back to his chest. "It doesn't really look good. And I sort of already wasted my big reveal. If I'd known I was going to have last words in the next few minutes…"

"You're an idiot Freddy Mackensie," Songbird leaned her head on his chest and then glanced up at him. "But…I think I…"

She didn't get to finish the sentence.


	52. Chapter 50

"So, if we die we come back no matter what?" Andrea asked, then pressed her hand to her cheek with a wince.

"That's what Jenner said," Rick confirmed.

"And you didn't say anything till now?" Shane demanded.

"What fuckin' difference does it make?" Daryl questioned, then shrugged negligently in response to Rick's surprised expression. It wasn't any of Rick's business if he decided to stand up for him now. "Just have to remember to put a bullet through the head of the next person to croak."

Carol covered her mouth with her hand and Daryl regretted his quick words. He reached out and gave her an awkward pat on the back and she leaned against him tiredly.

"So that's it?" Dex asked, leaning back. "You just brought us in here for a science lesson?"

"I thought you all had the right to know," Rick began.

"Yeah, when you saw fit to tell us," Shane finished.

"Don't you think we should do something with the bodies?" Andrew asked, his voice sounding squeaky with nervousness. "We can't just let them lay there."

"We could burn 'em," Daryl said.

"We could throw Thomas to the Walkers," Andrea cut in. "They look hungry."

In the end that was what they did. They dragged T's body out to be cremated and they tossed Thomas's body out of the fence; Walkers instantly surrounded it, ripping pieces of his flesh off and consuming it eagerly, shoving and snapping at each other like wild dogs over the blood soaked remains.

Herschel turned away from the spectacle wiping his hand over his eyes and then asked, "Where's Patricia?"

"I don't know," Rick answered absently. "Haven't seen her since…" he and Daryl exchanged a glance. Daryl started to swing the bow forward, just a second too late.

"Now you don't need to worry about her," Dex said coolly, pointing the gun he'd pulled from his waistband at Daryl's face. "She's with us now."

"Where'd you get the guns?" Rick asked.

"You don't need to be asking so many questions," Dex replied, switching his aim to Lori and Carl, who stood together. "I'll make this real simple, _Officer_. We were here first and you wore out your welcome quick. Get the fuck out of my house."

Songbird flinched and broke off her sentence when a gunshot dropped the closest Walker.

"Freddy what…" she began.

"Come on lovebirds!" a voice from a bunker behind them called. "I'm not holding this damn door open for very long!"

Freddy grabbed her arm and spun around, dragging her when she resisted.

"What about Michelangelo?"

"He's safer than we are," Freddy answered. "Come on!"

They made it into the bunker and the man with the gun, who'd dropped a few of the quicker Walkers for them as they ran, shut the door and locked it casually. Then he crossed his arms and looked at them with a raised eyebrow.

"Hi," Freddy said after a moment of silence. "Thanks for doing that."

The man nodded and then asked, "Want to tell me how either of you survived this long when you clearly have no idea how to survive?"

Freddy, who was feeling insulted, started to speak but the man, who was clearly getting worked up, went on, "No weapons! You yelling at her like you don't know noise draws them! Have you been under a rock for the past year?"

Songbird giggled. The giggle turned into laughter. She pressed both hands to her mouth but it didn't help. She laughed until tears ran down her cheeks. This was insane. She couldn't find Daryl, she'd nearly had sex with Freddy, she'd nearly died, and now she was being insulted by a person she hadn't even known existed. She wondered if this was what a breakdown felt like.

"Are you having a breakdown?" Freddy asked.

"I don't know!" she gasped. "Please…go ahead and talk."

So as she caught her breath and tried to calm down, Freddy explained their mission to the man who had introduced himself as Sergeant Malloy.

"You don't have a chance in hell," he said bluntly.

"I know," Songbird picked at her sneaker laces. Her shoes were coming apart after all that walking this past spring. "But I don't know what else to do."

"Make a new life," Malloy said. "That's what lots of people are going to have to do when this is over. You might as well get started. Go back to this safe house and…"

"No," she whispered. "I'm sorry, but no. Is there anything you can tell me that might help? Did they at least come through here?"

Malloy sighed and sat down, looking at her intently for a few moments before he shook his head.

"They did not," he answered. "With the exception of isolated hunting trips I've been here the whole time. I would have known."

"Are there any other likely places?" Freddy asked. "Anywhere sort of like this?"

"There's nowhere like Ft. Benning," the man answered with a half smile. "I've got some maps somewhere around. You tell about your group and we'll see."

Songbird did, telling him about Rick, since she knew he'd be the one making the decisions and about Daryl and Shane as well.

"Let's see," Malloy said, spreading out some maps. "If I were a hillbilly where would I go?"

Freddy snorted and Songbird gave him a glare. He shrugged and leaned over the map.

"They probably thought of heading here because of the safety and the chance of meeting up with people in command. Maybe with some communication. Looking for authority, in other words. And the safety that could provide. Weapons…fences maybe…"

Songbird wondered if the Sergeant was even aware that he was speaking out loud. She knew that he wasn't talking to either her or Freddy.

"Here," his finger landed on the map after some time and he tapped several places. "My best guesses."

"What's that one?" Freddy asked. "A prison?"

"Makes sense," Malloy replied. "If they were headed for an Army base a maximum security might be just as good in their eyes. But hell," he cast Songbird a glance and she actually read compassion in his eyes. "They could be anywhere else too. This is a wild goose chase and you're better off heading home."

"I'll have to go past the prison either way," Freddy shrugged. "We'll drop in. Let's go, Songbird."

"You aren't going anywhere just yet," Malloy cut in. "For one thing, they probably haven't given up yet and I'm not wasting ammo on the two of you. For another…come with me."

He lead them through the bunker and over to several crates.

"I've become something of a hoarder," the man admitted. "Whenever the herd went one direction I went in another and grabbed everything I could. Some of this stuff might fit you. It'll be getting cold soon. Look through it, take what you want."

The crates were full of fatigues and boots. Most of it did Songbird no good, as she was so much smaller than the average recruit. She found a pair of boots that were only about a half size too big and, for the first time in her life, she thanked God for her big feet. She also got a jacket because it didn't really matter that it was too big.

Freddy had better luck and ended up with a whole new outfit. At least one thing was going his way. They had to pass a bit more time with Sergeant Malloy before the herd finally lost interest. Songbird asked him if he wanted to come with them but he said no.

"This is where I've been for so long it feels wrong to leave," he admitted. "And…not that it wasn't nice to see a few new faces…I've never been much of a people person. I'd take that dog off your hands though."

"Well, we appreciate it," Freddy cut in before Songbird could voice the "hell no" he saw written all over her face. "But we'd better hit the road again and…" he handed the man a piece of paper with the compounds address on it. "In case you change your mind. Tell them you met Freddy and Songbird at Ft. Benning."

The man nodded and escorted them to the door. Songbird climbed into the back of the van, hooked her fingers into Michelangelo's collar and pressed her face to his neck as he snuffled her hair joyfully. Freddy got behind the wheel and cranked the van, leaving Ft. Benning behind.

"You said you wouldn't kill them," Patricia said in a wobbly voice. "You just said you'd make them leave!"

"That's up to them," Dex answered coldly.

"Take Carl inside," Rick said, trying to keep his voice calm.

"You move and I'll blow you away," Dex informed Lori, who'd gone so pale Daryl was afraid she was going to pass out. "It's time for you to get out."

No one moved.

"I don't think ya'll understand what I'm saying," Dex said after giving them a few seconds to obey him. "You need to start making some forward motion toward that fucking RV or I'm going to start shootin'!"

"It ain't gotta go down this way, brother," to everyone's complete and utter shock Axle stepped toward Dex with his hands up. "These are good people; they were just trying to protect themselves. Don't do this."

"You like them so much you can leave with them," the man replied. "Now move!"

"Where did you get those guns?" Rick asked again.

"What the fuck does it matter?" Dex echoed Daryl's thoughts. "We got 'em where it counts."

"Where did you get the fucking guns?" Rick yelled.

"A-block!" Dex yelled back. "There's an armory there, but I bet ya'll's dumbasses never even checked…"

"That's what I was afraid of," Rick admitted.

"What the fuck do you mean?"

Dex's question was answered when he looked over his shoulder. The hoard of Walkers poured across the grass, eager for the flesh they'd been denied the whole time A-block had kept them confined.

"Lori get Carl inside!" Rick shouted. "Maggie, go get as much ammo as you can and bring it back!"

"Hey, I said nobody move!" Dex yelled over Rick's orders.

"You wanna kill us or the Walkers that are tryin' to eat you?" Daryl's voice raised over them both. "Pick a side, jackass!"

Dex gritted his teeth, but he finally pointed the gun at the nearest Walker and shot, sending sludgy black blood spraying through the air. Daryl didn't bother with the bow; the quarters were too close. He pulled the ax from his belt and swung away. Andrea was dropping Walkers left and right; Shane was too. Glenn wasn't doing badly either. Rick…Daryl's glance cut to his friend just in time to see something that shocked him to the point where he actually went still. Rick aimed, fired…Dex dropped.

A Walker fell with a bullet between its eyes behind Daryl and Andrea yelled, "Watch your back!"

Rick met Daryl's eyes for just a second before the turning away. When the fight was over they counted up causalities. Dex was dead; Patricia had been bitten badly.

"Go get Herschel," Rick ordered.

Andrew was crouched beside Dex, sobbing and shaking. Daryl walked over to him.

The kid looked up at him and said, "Dexter's dead! Fuck…he's really dead! What am I going to do now?"

"I'd look into surrender," Daryl answered. Andrew dropped the guns at Daryl's feet.

Herschel came and knelt near Patricia.

"Why would you do this?" he asked, applying pressure to her wound and giving Rick a shake of his head in response to his raised eyebrow. She wasn't going to make it.

"It's all their fault," the woman gasped out. "All their fault I lost Otis. His…fault…"

Her wide, glazed stare rested squarely on Shane. She was dead. Daryl noticed Dale's gaze on Shane as well. Shane's body had grown so tense Daryl wondered if he was going to strain a muscle. He took a step back when the man raised the gun.

"Back up, Herschel," he said.

He barely gave the older man time to get to his feet before Patricia's face caved in under the shotgun blast.

Once the yard was cleaned up…or as clean as blood spattered grass was likely to get without rain, Daryl and the rest headed back inside. He showered the bloody sludge off, trying not to shiver under the chilly water and then dressed again. He'd been able to hear her name in his head ever since Rick had said it and it was aggravating him. He needed to be able to get over this…get over her.

He was deep in thought about that when he walked into his room. The first surprise was finding Carol in his bed. The second was finding Carol in his bed with blood dripping off her fingertips from the cut in her left wrist.


	53. Chapter 51

"Herschel!" Daryl bellowed, making a face as he felt his boot slide a bit in the puddle of blood. She was still breathing. "Herschel!"

"Daryl, what's wrong?" Emma poked her head into his room and then gasped. "Oh my God! Take off your belt."

"What?" he stared at her in shock.

"Tourniquet!" she explained, climbing onto his bed and pressing her fingers to Carol's neck. A group had gathered in the doorway of Daryl's room but none of them were Herschel.

Daryl fumbled with the buckle and yanked the belt free, then tightened it on Carol's arm. Herschel came in a few moments after that and ordered everyone out.

"Except you," he said, pointing at Emma. "I find myself in the market for a nurse."

She nodded, looking a bit excited in spite of her pale face, and the group filed out, standing in the hall. Daryl noticed that he'd gotten blood on his hands. When Lori saw him staring blankly at the red streaking his fingers she handed him one of the shirts she had been about to take to wash. He gave her a nod and wiped his hands off.

"She'd been through so much," Lori whispered, shaking her head.

"She ain't gone yet," Daryl snapped.

"I know…" the woman looked surprised and Daryl felt bad.

He started to rub his hands over his face, but he stopped when he remembered the blood. It was gone…mostly…but he could still smell the iron of it on his skin. He crossed his arms instead and leaned against the railing. He'd never had a problem with blood. How could he when he was a hunter? But for some reason seeing hers like that was making him feel sick. He abruptly pushed himself away from the railing and walked down the hall and out into the prison yard.

The air was getting cold; summer was officially gone and it was killing him. She always got so cold, being so damn skinny didn't help and he remembered giving her his sweatshirt during chores when he'd forgotten to remind her to bring hers. He remembered how close she snuggled to him when he found her in the hayloft on the days she needed to get away from the group. He remembered how warm it had been between her legs that day he'd taken her behind the barn in the snow. God, he needed to stop. It always led to thinking of what she looked like as one of them. That was the face that haunted his dreams. How did she die? Had she been ripped apart so that there was nothing left of her to come back? Was she one of those like Rick had mentioned…the girl with the bike who didn't even really qualify as a Walker? Was she starving? Could she starve? Had she taken another way out? Like Carol?

He pictured the blood again; bright red, healthy human blood staining his floor and blankets, dripping from her fingers in the ultimate show of defeat. Poor Carol. She had been through so much. He rested his head on his knees.

Some time later he heard a scuffling behind him and started to his feet, but a voice said, "Just me! It's just me."

"Bradley."

Daryl was a little surprised. He and Brad didn't really talk much.

The man was a careful parent though and they'd had a few conversations because Glenn and Daryl hung out a good bit together now that Rick was so busy with Lori's hormones. Since Emma hung out with Maggie, who hung out with Glenn, who hung out with Daryl, Daryl and Emma spent a fair amount of time together. Bradley hadn't been altogether sure of Daryl's motives, especially after Emma told him that Daryl had told her that she looked like his wife. Bradley had seen fairly quickly that Daryl didn't have a thing for his daughter though so he'd relaxed about the whole thing.

"Herschel sent me to get you," he explained. "He doesn't want to move her…"

"She's alive?"

"He said she's stable. She didn't cut very deeply and you got there pretty soon after it happened. You pretty much saved her life."

Daryl shrugged and said, "And Emma. With the belt tourniquet. Where'd she learn stuff like that anyway? She's just a kid."

"She's wanted to be a nurse since she was five. She's always loved medical books and documentaries. She job shadowed at some hospitals before all this started actually."

"That's handy," Daryl said as he stood up. "Guess I'll go have a word with Herschel."

"I would appreciate it if you would stay in with her tonight," Herschel said as he packed up his kit.

Daryl started to protest but the man continued, "Consider it payment for patching you up."

"Fuck."

"Language in front of the young lady."

Emma gave him a smile as she left the room, chattering with Herschel about lessons in nursing. Daryl sat on the edge of the bed with his shoulders pressed to the wall and vowed not to go to sleep. The vow lasted about ten seconds.

Freddy stopped the van and got out then went around to the back for one of their reserve gas cans and topped the tank off while the coast was clear. The Walkers were more dangerous in a pack then they'd ever been as a single threat.

"Do you want me to drive?" Songbird asked shyly, breaking the day long silence that had formed.

"It's up to you," Freddy answered formally.

"Or do you just want to stop and get some sleep?" she went on.

He shrugged.

"Are you mad at me?"

That had always worked with Daryl. He'd always brushed her hair back and said, "I ain't mad at you darlin'."

"Kind of," Freddy answered, walking back to the front of the van.

Of course, Daryl had also been in love with her. But Freddy had said he was too. She climbed over the seats separating them and sat down in the passenger seat beside him.

"What are you mad at me for?"

He noticed that her tone had changed from low and pleading to edgy and irritated.

"What am I mad at you for?" he repeated. "What do you think I'm mad at you for? How would you like being this close," he held his index finger a millimeter from his thumb, "to what you wanted and then getting shut down by a flood of tears?"

"I'm a girl! I'd be weird if you just started crying! And you can't be mad at me for not sleeping with you! I thought you were a gentleman Freddy Mackensie!"

"I am! I've treated you better than he ever did! I don't yell at you, I don't treat you like a child, I don't…okay, I can't think of anything else," he frowned at the steering wheel and then shrugged. "Whatever. I'm sure one of us will get over it eventually."

"I never said I didn't care about you," she said after a moment. "But I…"

"Yeah. You're in love with him. Getting some sleep wouldn't be a bad idea," he ended the conversation by crawling over the seats and lying down.

She lay down across the front seat, her breath whooshing out when Michelangelo decided to join her and stepped on her stomach, and thought about what Freddy had said. Daryl did yell at her, but he yelled at everyone so she wasn't really concerned with that. It was the "he treats you like a child" accusation that really stung.

She'd always known that Daryl's intentions were good, but Freddy was right. Daryl treated her like a kid. He refused to let her do things she was perfectly capable of doing; he'd shadowed her on her chores at the compound for Pete's sake, and that was basically one of the safest places on earth. Her corde lisse act nearly gave him a heart attack, and he'd been so 100% proof positive that she couldn't survive on her own that he'd left her for dead. She felt anger flood through her again. Damn Freddy for bringing it up! She much preferred her knight-in-sleeveless shirts view of Daryl Dixon.

Daryl woke up the next morning feeling warm and relaxed for the first time in a long time. He pressed her face against her neck and started to wrap his arms around her. Then he remembered and jerked back, sitting up again with his back to the wall. So much for not sleeping.

He'd woken Carol up with the sudden movement as well and she looked around, seeming mildly confused.

"You all right?" he asked.

"I'm…I'm not…"

"No. You ain't dead," he cut in, suddenly angry. "What were you thinkin'?"

"I just…I've lost everything," she whispered, looking down at her bandaged arms.

"So have I. You don't get to just check out when it hurts. 'Specially not in my fuckin' bed!"

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I can wash the sheets…or…or change them…"

"This ain't about the damn sheets! This is about you tellin' me to let go of it all and then doin' somethin' like this! You heard Rick! You knew you'd come back. Were you tryin' to kill me or somethin'?"

"No!" Carol sat up so quickly that she went even paler. "No Daryl…you've always been there. When it was Sophia…yesterday when it was T…" her face contorted and tears streamed down her cheeks. "You did more than he did for my little girl…you're the one who understand what it's like to lose someone like that…someone who depends on you to keep them safe…"

Sobs obscured the rest of her sentence and Daryl allowed her to rest her head on his chest as she cried. He hadn't held it against T that he hadn't done more looking for Sophia…hell he hadn't held it against anyone. When it came to stuff like that Daryl knew that he was the man for the job. He wondered if he should say that to Carol or just let her cry. He was also more than a little uncomfortable at the idea that Carol thought that his relationship with his girl would give him insight into what it felt like to lose a child. He decided not to say anything about either subject at the moment and eventually Carol sat up again and wiped her tears.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Daryl shrugged and said, "We've all done some dumb shit. You oughta go let everybody else know you're okay; they've been worried."

She nodded and left the room.

Songbird squealed involuntarily; Freddy swore.

"Pull over," he ordered.

She did and he got out, gesturing for her to pop the hood which she did quickly. He stayed there for a while, doing guyish things to the engine that she didn't understand while she prayed for the best. Like the majority of her prayers, that one seemed to get lost in translation because Freddy came back with a frown on his face and a shake of his head.

"What are we going to do?" she asked.

"Find another car," he replied shortly. "Though where we're going to find one big enough to suit our needs and the needs of your crime-fighter over there…" Michelangelo gave him a dark look and he continued, "I don't know."

"There's lots of abandoned cars," she began.

"I don't know if you've noticed," Freddy cut in. "But we're in a very remote area of Georgia. When's the last time you saw a car that looked like it would even move out of the driveway?"

She bit her lip and looked down at the steering wheel.

"So that means we're back to walking. Which means that if we meet up with one of the hoards we might as well just join right on in because we're fucking toast!"

Michelangelo jumped over the seatback and laid his head on Songbird's shoulder in a clear, "watch your tone, buddy" kind of way. She wrapped her hand around his collar and leaned back against him. At least somebody still loved her unconditionally. Freddy moderated his tone.

"We might as well just sleep here. The closest highway is also right near that prison. Two birds with one stone. If we don't die."

"Are you always going to be mad at me?"

"Stop thinking you can play me like you play him," Freddy said coldly.

"I don't play with Daryl!" she jumped out of the van and stood toe to toe with Freddy.

"You might not think you do," he argued. "But you put on that little kid act and you let him pat you on the head and take care of everything and then you wonder why he doesn't respect you…"

"I didn't know you were paying such close attention," she bit out. "Make up your mind. Does he treat me like a kid or do I act like one?"

Michelangelo pressed his nose against Songbird's back, but she didn't pay any attention. She and Freddy continued to trade insults and accusations until finally she stumbled under the dog's weight.

"And just what the hell is your problem?" she shouted.

The dog didn't answer. He just jumped from the van and smoothly took down the Walker behind Freddy.

"And now you nearly got me killed!" Freddy exploded.

"Damn it Freddy! This wasn't my fault! I thought they'd be at Ft. Benning! I didn't ask you to come with me! I asked you to stay and you wouldn't! This is your own damn fault!"

"You're right," he answered flatly. "I tagged along like an idiot because I thought you might change your mind and I should have known better. Nothing I am is ever going to compare to his memory."

"He's not just a memory…" she whispered in shock. Of everything Freddy had said that was the first thing that had actually hurt deep in her stomach.

"Get it through your head Songbird! Even if he's not, you'll _never_ see him again."

She wanted to cry. God, she wanted to curl up and just sob her heart out. But then something happened. Her spirit broke with an almost audible crack and she looked Freddy in the eye. She was tired of this. As uncomfortable as it made her feel, she loved them both. Now she was seeing that Daryl had treated her like a child and Freddy thought she was immature and manipulative.

"Then go home," she said.

Freddy snorted, "So you can keep looking for him all by yourself?"

"I've given up. There. Does that make you feel better? I've given up on all of it."

Freddy punched the side of the van and walked away.

Songbird turned and got back into the van, packing up her supplies, keeping her movements methodical and measured. She counted her breaths to keep calm, a trick from her corde lisse act and smoothed the worry wrinkles from Michelangelo's forehead.

"I'm okay," she reassured him. "Want to take a nap before we hit the road?"

She lay down; Michelangelo lay down beside her, still gazing worriedly at her face. She slept deep and soundly until several hours later when a loud wrenching noise started her and the dog upright.


	54. Chapter 52

"I had an idea," Emma said while she was helping Daryl pull the blood stained sheets off his bed and replace them with ones she'd washed earlier.

"Yeah?"

"Yep. There're a lot of jumpsuits in the laundry room…"

"Prison jumpsuits?" he cut in.

"Hear me out! Andrea said no one would agree with me."

Emma's face fell as she spoke and it tugged his heartstrings.

"Okay, spit it out. I'm listenin'."

"We, me and Andrea I mean, not me and you, could alter them and even use the spare sheets to make shirts or cute dresses…"

"I have been needing a cute dress! Something to show off my butt."

That obviously wasn't Daryl. He rolled his eyes as Glenn strolled in.

"Nurse…seamstress," Maggie teased Emma. "Is there anything you don't do?"

"Well, nursing and sewing are sort of the same," Emma shrugged. "Attention to detail and all. And there are lots of things I can't do. Cartwheels. And I can't sing and I didn't cook until last year. But what about you Maggie? Do you sew?"

"I _can_," Maggie stressed the word and Glenn laughed.

"Oughta get Carol to help," Daryl said. "Give her somethin' to do."

Emma nodded and looked pleadingly at Maggie, "It'll be fun!"

_"Screw other adjectives. Fun is what it is."_

Daryl made an involuntary face when her voice popped into his head. Maybe he spent too much time with Emma. There were times when they were so much alike.

"Are you okay?" Maggie asked.

"Fuckin' peachy. Don't ya'll have sewin' to do?"

"I'm not sewing unless Glenn does," Maggie gave Glenn a smile and he protested as they followed Emma down to get Andrea and Carol.

Songbird snatched a knife free of the sheath closest to her and got to her knees. She quickly sank back down, pulling Michelangelo to the floor with her when she saw the hoard outside the vans windows.

"Oh God," she couldn't help the whimper that escaped her.

Would they know she was there? Could they break through? If they could, she was dead. Michelangelo was quivering with tension. She figured she was too. She heard nails screeching along the metal, groans and moans and that weird drooly noise they made; she smelled the disgusting smell buried in their rotting flesh and the flesh of their conquests. She buried her face in the dog's neck and he burrowed against her, sensing her need for comfort.

"God, please, God," she whispered. "Not like this…"

She wasn't sure how long she and Michelangelo huddled on the floor of the van, but eventually the hoard moved on. She let her breath out in a long, shaky exhalation.

"Let's go," she whispered, shouldering the backpack and opening the back door.

She checked the map and headed in the direction of the compound, the direction the Sergeant had pointed out.

Several days later Daryl gave Carol a half smile when she handed him the lower half of an orange jumpsuit that she'd taken in and a bed sheet turned into a sleeveless white shirt.

"Will you try it on?" she asked. "I want to make sure it fits."

Daryl shrugged out of his shirt and pulled the other one on.

"Actually fits better than the old one," he admitted.

"And the pants?"

He met her eyes; she blushed. His jaw dropped.

"Uh…they look fine…" he answered. "I'll do it later."

Her face turned even redder; she turned quickly and left.

"That sounded interesting," Shane said from the doorway. "She just dropped my clothes off and hurried on out."

"What fuckin' business is it of yours?" Daryl asked, still in shock.

Shane only shrugged, smirking in that way that got under Daryl's skin.

"You want her now that you know she wants me? Hell, I ain't even had time to marry her. 'Course Dale and Andrea weren't married either," he'd never gotten the details, but he was pretty damn positive something had happened between Shane and Andrea. He was even more positive when Shane stepped forward, looking furious. "I don't wanna get blood all over my nice new shirt," Daryl drawled.

"Everything all right?" Brad asked, leaning casually against the bars of Daryl's cell.

Shane didn't answer. He just turned and walked away. Daryl looked at Brad and raised his eyebrow. Brad shrugged.

"Why do you bait him like that?" he asked. "The rest of us leave him the hell alone."

"Never really liked the prick bastard," Daryl said. "Only time he ain't dangerous is when things are goin' his way. Right now they ain't."

"But he was right about Carol," the man continued. "She…"

"Yeah," Daryl cut in. "I noticed."

"And you…"

"I'm married."

Brad looked pitying and it infuriated Daryl.

"Look, she ain't been gone that long all right? What about you anyway? You ain't got a woman; why don't you move in on that?"

Brad shrugged and said, "I had one until two years ago. Emma and Greg's mom. Love at first sight. We were married within three months and then Emma came along…then Greg…then an apocalypse and one of those things…she was bitten when it first started to spread, when we weren't sure of the consequences."

Daryl nodded, understanding and even sympathizing, not that he was going to say it.

"I feel sorry for you if you hurt the way I do," Brad continued. "I guess I'm just saying that I'm not sure Carol's…you know, mental state…I don't think…"

"I ain't gonna fuck her and leave her," Daryl interrupted. "If that's what you're stumblin' around."

"It is," Brad answered wryly.

"I ain't gonna fuck her at all," he clarified. "Just so there ain't no confusion."

Brad gave him a half smile and a shrug and rapped his knuckles on the bars as he said, "See you later then."

Daryl sat on the edge of his bunk and thought. Maybe Carol was just a little…well, he hesitated to use the word desperate because he didn't mean it the way he usually meant it when it came to women. But she didn't seem exactly like herself lately. And he _had_ done a lot for her. God, he sounded full of himself. He decided not to deal with it. She'd get over the whole thing and they'd never mention it again and everything would be fine.

"Daryl? Can we talk?"

Fuck.

"Hey Carol. Yeah, I guess so."

"I didn't mean to embarrass you about the pants," she began awkwardly.

"I wasn't embarrassed," he said indignantly, even though he sort of had been. "It was…unexpected that's all."

"It's just that you're the only one who knows what it's like," she went on, twisting her fingers together. "And I've never been good at being alone. Ed and I…right after high school and then I had Sophia and then T and now no one and I just can't sleep at night when all I can hear is my own thoughts."

"Look it ain't easy," he interrupted when her voice got higher pitched and a bit hysterical. "It's like that for me too."

"I've only ever done one thing in my life," she explained. "And that's whatever someone else wanted. You've been so good to me. I…I just want to be good to you, Daryl."

The kiss caught him off guard. By the time he thought about pulling back, it had been going on for several seconds. If he'd been thinking of Carol, it might have gone differently. But his hand had moved to the back of her head to tug her braid and hers wasn't the name that came to mind.

He pulled back and shook his head. She turned red and left the room. He rubbed both hands over his face and then flopped onto his back.

Freddy took the backpack from Songbird, "My turn."

She only nodded tiredly. They'd been walking for nearly a week now and she was having flashbacks to the climb out of the canyon. Sleeplessness, hunger, raw meat. She would have gagged if she'd had the energy.

She couldn't deny that she'd been relieved to see Freddy about three miles from the van the day she'd left, but things were still awkward between them. She couldn't bring herself to care that much though. She didn't care about much except putting one foot in front of the other and not dying.

"Are we close to anything?" Freddy asked that night.

She pulled the map free and looked at it. Map reading wasn't her greatest skill, but Freddy wouldn't do it for her anymore. Jackass.

"We're about a day's walk from that prison the Sergeant mentioned," she said finally. "I don't really see the point in stopping…unless we see cars in the yard or something. We'd be fenced in and, more than likely, surrounded by Walkers."

Freddy nodded in agreement and she was vaguely surprised. He'd shot most of her ideas down with withering sarcasm for the past few days, telling her that hope was optional but logic was necessary. It actually wasn't a bad mantra…but she thought he might have stolen it from a Vulcan at some point.

They slept in shifts and started out early the next morning. Songbird glanced up from her dusty military boots somewhere in the afternoon when Michelangelo went still. Her mouth opened but words wouldn't come. She grabbed the back of Freddy's jacket, but he'd already seen.

"Well."

He squared his shoulders and Songbird couldn't help the surge of respect she felt for him.

"Been nice knowing you."

He gave her his old grin, and she shook her head in weary defeat.

"Fuck it, one last thing…"

He scooped her up and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed back, not pretending he was anybody but who he was, enjoying the kiss to the fullest, because, hell…there were at least fifty Walkers headed their way and there was nowhere to take cover.

A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short! But I'm still working out the upcoming scenes and I wanted to update. Happy Valentine's Day everyone!


	55. Chapter 53

"We should at least go out fighting," Freddy said a few seconds later.

"Sure, why not?"

She didn't bother with her knives, instead using the bow that Freddy had given her before they started out. She wasn't as good with it as he was, but she was good enough.

She nocked an arrow and dropped an oncoming Walker, then another and another. Freddy was doing the same, just faster. Michelangelo took off into the hoard.

"No!" she called after him, realizing too late that she hadn't given him other orders. He was only doing what she and Daryl had trained him to do. "Come back!"

He turned, momentarily confused by her tone and the contradiction to his training. It was long enough. One of the Walkers grabbed him, scoring long marks into the back of his left leg. He swung back around, leaping for its throat, but there were too many who'd caught the scent of fresh blood. The hoard surrounded him.

It was one thing to face death for herself and make peace with it. It was another to watch Michelangelo get torn to shreds. She slung the bow across her back, drew the long hunting knife Freddy made her carry and ran. She expected a reprimand from Freddy, but when she looked he was beside her.

"I'll carry him," he said, his own knife glinting in the dying sunlight.

She took the head off the closest Walker and kicked another backward, making a hole for Freddy to reach the dog, who was struggling to say on his feet. Her knife sank through the eye socket of another one who leaned toward Freddy as he knelt.

It was getting harder and harder to tell what the Walkers had been before Wildfire; by the height she assumed this one had been a young teenager. She didn't feel guilty anymore when she ended them. Freddy put Michelangelo over his shoulders, holding the dog tightly as he stood; bringing his knife up under the chin of a Walker Songbird hadn't had time to deal with yet. She saw the tip of the long knife burst through the top of the creature's skull before he yanked back down.

"Run!" he yelled.

"Where?"

"Toward the prison," he said, suiting action to words. "We've got to be close."

She took off after him, dodging the grasps of the undead.

"What if it's worse?" she gasped out.

"We can say we tried at least."

The prison came into view. Songbird looked into Michelangelo's eyes, which were heavy with pain. Blood from the wounds in his legs and a big gash in his side stained Freddy's shirt a bright sickening red. She swallowed hard. They were outrunning the Walkers…but only for the moment. If the gates were closed, they were going to die.

The gates were closed.

"Fuck!" Freddy yelled, yanking on the gate with one hand. "Hurry up Songbird!"

She added her strength to his, but it wasn't enough. He couldn't put the dog down to use both hands because he wasn't sure he'd have time to pick him up again if he needed to.

"Is there anyone in there?" Songbird shrieked.

To her shock, a man came out of a shadowed area near the side of the building.

"Ya'll need help?" he asked.

"Let us in!" Freddy bellowed. "Hurry!"

The man ran up. He was a bigish guy with white hair and a beard. He was wearing a prison jumpsuit. He helped pull and the gates opened. Freddy pushed Songbird through and then came in, helping the man shut the gates just as the Walkers came near enough to do some damage.

"Wow," the man whistled. "They were really after ya'll huh?"

"Um…yeah…" Songbird didn't really know what to say.

"Our dog is hurt," Freddy said. "Is there anywhere that we can go to look at him?"

"Do you one better," the man said with a smile. "We've got a resident vet."

"Are you serious?" Songbird couldn't believe her luck.

"Yep. Come on in. I'm Axel by the way," the man went on. "The vet's name is Herschel. He's got him an assistant now, little girl by the name of Emma. Looks a little like you, if you follow me."

Songbird wasn't sure she did. It was unreal. They weren't dead, and it seemed like they might even be safe.

"What's going on?" a little boy asked.

"Hey Greg, go get your sister and Herschel. We got visitors and the dog's hurt."

Axel showed them into one of the cells and Songbird put the blankets on the floor. Freddy lay Michelangelo down gently. Michelangelo was always quiet. He never barked, never growled, never whined. He whimpered now and it almost broke Songbird's heart. She sat down and took his head into her lap.

"Shhh, baby," she whispered. "I won't let anything happen to you."

She stroked his head, biting her lip and counting her breaths again, trying not to let him feel her tension. The tension abated a bit when an older man came in and said, "Well now, what do we have here?"

Instant voice crush. Not a sexual crush, but a different sort of love. Herschel sounded like a grandpa. Not her Italian Papa Tony for sure, but sort of like everybody's Grandpa. He'd make everything better.

"He got bitten," she answered. "A few times. Freddy saved him."

"You're a brave young man," Herschel said, getting down onto his knees. "Does he bite?"

For a second, in her confusion, Songbird didn't know if Herschel meant Freddy or Michelangelo. She shook her head.

"He's going to help you," she informed the dog. "He needs to touch you."

A girl came running in and dropped down to assist Herschel. Songbird wasn't paying much attention, but Freddy noticed how very much Emma did look like Songbird. Same skin, same color hair, same eyes. Emma was shorter and not as thin, but there was an extremely strong resemblance.

Herschel disinfected the wounds carefully and he and Emma stitched them. Songbird winced at every movement, as if she could feel Michelangelo's pain. The pain wasn't as bad as it could have been. Herschel had given the dog some painkillers and Freddy could tell Michelangelo was fighting sleep.

When it was over Herschel said, "Now, he needs to rest. You and your young man can see some of the other's about sleeping arrangements."

"Who should we talk to?" Freddy asked.

Songbird noticed how Emma's gaze kept going to Freddy as if drawn by a magnet. She looked at him, trying to see him as Emma would. He was standing near the wall, thumbs hooked into his belt loops, bow slung across his chest. His fatigues hung low on his waist; his shirt had ripped open up the front, leaving a pretty clear view of his six pack and defined chest. Yeah, she could see where Emma was coming from. She noticed Michelangelo had fallen asleep so she stood up carefully.

"I guess you should see," Herschel started and then said, to himself mostly, "What did I do with…oh there it is. As I say, I guess you could…"

"Axel said you found a dog," a voice rang down the hall. "We could use us a good huntin' dog. I used to have a…"

The words stopped when the man stepped into the room.

Emma looked at him, wondering what in the world had made him look so shocked. Then it hit her. Something he'd said when they first met.

_"You remind me of somebody. Somebody I lost…my wife."_

They did have the same hair, the same blue eyes, the same pale skin…but she was so young! Emma didn't think she could be much older than she was! Suddenly the girl went even paler and Emma said, "Catch her!"

Freddy was closest and he managed to get his reflexes in gear in time to do as Emma had said. Songbird was out cold. He stood there holding her as Daryl stood there staring at them as if they were ghosts. Which to him they were.

"Is she all right?" Daryl asked a few seconds later, his voice sounding hoarse to his own ears.

She and Freddy were covered in blood and he saw several rips in her jeans. She was even paler than normal due to her faint and that made the blood streaking her face stand out even brighter.

"Is she…is that her blood?"

"No," Freddy answered Daryl as Herschel stepped over, laying his fingers on her neck to check her pulse.

"Shock I imagine," Herschel said. "I take you two know each other?"

"That's not her blood?"

At a glance from Herschel, Emma took Daryl's arm and led him to the opposite bunk. He followed without resistance. Songbird wasn't the only one in shock.

Freddy actually felt bad for Daryl. He was pale as ice. Emma pushed his head forward between his knees and said, "Deep breaths." Then she turned her gaze back to Freddy. "You could lay her on that bed if you want."

"She's all bloody," he answered.

"You both are," Herschel said. "There are showers down the hall. Nurse Emma," he gave her a smile as he spoke. "Maybe you could show him where they are and help the young lady clean up."

She glanced at Daryl, and Herschel waved her on with the unspoken message that he would watch out for him. She couldn't say she minded terribly anyway. Now she'd get a chance to talk to the sexy red haired guy. If she could think of something to say.

"Follow me then," she said, standing up.

"Would you mind bringing that for me?" Freddy pointed to the backpack Songbird had tossed into the corner.

"No problem!" Emma started to lift the backpack and then said, "Wow! You guys don't exactly travel light do you?"

"There's a van load of stuff in there," he replied with a shrug. "If you want though, you can just get our clothes out. I'm not loving this look." he gestured to his ripped shirt.

She didn't see a problem with it, but she managed to keep that to herself as she struggled with the heavy pack.

"So, I didn't get your name," she questioned as they walked down the hall.

"Freddy," he said. "The unconscious one is Songbird."

"I'm Emma."

"I know. Axel said your name. It's nice to meet you."

She blushed like an idiot. It was the most obviously polite thing he could have said, but she replayed it in her head a few times anyway. She liked Freddy's voice.

The walked into the shower room and Freddy put Songbird down on a bench.

"Songbird? Wake up for me okay?"

Eventually she came around, staring sort of blankly at Freddy and Emma.

"They have showers," Freddy said matter-of-factly. "Which is great because we need showers. Are you going to be okay in there or do you need Emma?"

Songbird shook her head and Freddy pulled her to her feet. He waited until he heard her shower turn on before he got undressed and he hurried through the shower in case she needed something. She didn't seem to be handling this well.

By the time he was dressed her shower was still running.

"Songbird?" he called. "You okay in there?"

There wasn't an answer. He was considering sending Emma in, but before he could, the water stopped. Songbird emerged a bit later dressed in the yoga pants and tee shirt she slept in, her hair wrapped in a towel. She unwrapped the towel and rubbed her hair vigorously to dry it further, then she simply stared uncomprehendingly at her tangled hair in the mirror. Emma stepped up and tapped her shoulder.

"I can comb it if you'll let me help you."

Songbird nodded. Emma took the comb Freddy handed her and began working the tangles out of Songbird's waist length hair.

"She usually braids it," Freddy said, handing her an elastic as well.

Emma nodded and began separating the hair into three sections to make combing easier.

"I'm not…this is real isn't it?"

"This is real," Herschel confirmed for Daryl. "Why don't you tell me how you know the girl?"

Daryl winced at Herschel's use of the word "girl" but he answered honestly. "She's my wife."

He had to give the older man credit; Herschel only looked mildly shocked.

"She's 18," Daryl said reflexively. "Actually," he frowned briefly. "It's past July ain't it? She's 19 now. I guess you're wonderin' what I'm doin' with somebody that young…"

"What I'm wondering," Herschel cut in. "Is why you're in here talking to me when she's in the shower."

"Hell, I don't know," Daryl stood, but he still didn't leave the room. "I guess I don't know what to say. What should I say?"

Though why the hell he was asking Herschel was beyond him. He didn't know what had happened. He wouldn't understand why guilt was eating away at Daryl right now.

God, he'd left her for dead. He'd left her there to fight her way back alone when he should have been with her. She'd asked him to protect her and he'd abandoned her.

"Why do you have to say anything?" Herschel asked.

Daryl decided that was good advice. If she mentioned what a dick move it had been for him to leave her then he'd tell her all about it. He'd tell her about the nightmares, about the despair and the fucking shell his life had turned into without her…but until then why dredge up the past? She was back. She was alive.

"Thanks," he said, turning to go. "Oh. One last thing. Michelangelo…he's, he's gonna make it right?"

"The damage is fairly severe," Herschel admitted. "And there was quite a bit of blood loss. If he makes it through the night I'd give him a 70/30 chance at survival."

It was lower than what Daryl had hoped, but not so low that it was hopeless. He knelt and put his hand on the dog's head.

"You better come around boy," he said in a low voice. "We got us some huntin' to do come spring."

The dog made a snuffling noise in his sleep as he recognized one of his favorite voices, but he was too doped up on the painkillers he'd been given to wake up. Daryl stood and walked out.

"You've got great hair," Emma said when the waist length braid was done.

Songbird only shrugged, thinking it was an odd compliment. Aside from the length she and Emma appeared to have the same hair. Freddy had opened his mouth to say something to that effect when Daryl walked in. Emma stepped back as he stepped closer.

Daryl took Songbird's face in his hands and simply looked down at her. Emma could barely catch her breath at the intensity in his gaze. She nudged Freddy and they walked out of the room. She thought it was nice how quickly he moved to give them some space.

After a few more moments of just looking at her, Daryl pulled her out of the room and up the hall. He could hear excited chatter at the end of the corridor which must mean that the rest of the group had caught on. He was glad they had Freddy to talk to, because she was his and he wasn't going to let her go for awhile.

They went into his room and he pulled the door shut. He saw her glance at the bars that he'd covered about a week ago with blankets so it felt more like a real room with walls rather than a prison cell. He'd done the same with the bed, draping blankets from the upper bunk to create curtains for the lower one. He pulled a blanket back and she crawled in. He followed. When he dropped the blanket back into the place the bed was pitch black. He wished it wasn't. He wanted to keep his eyes on her. He supposed touch would have to do.

Daryl put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her forward, groaning when their lips met and trying desperately to keep it quiet. Blankets were hardly sound proof. Her lips were still soft; she still knew exactly how to move against him.

_'Not too fast, not too fast,'_ he ordered himself, contradicting himself by taking her mouth more and more forcefully with each kiss until they were both breathing raggedly.

He only brought himself to break the kiss when he pulled back to take her shirt off. He tossed his own onto the bed on top of hers and yanked her against him again, wanting to feel her skin against his. She was warm and soft and perfect; he ran his hands over her slender body, noticing that she'd lost weight since leaving the compound, but that she wasn't as skinny as she'd been when they first met.

Daryl ducked his head, sucking her nipple into his mouth as he pushed her pants down. She shifted position, lying back on the bed so he could pull them off completely. He moved on top of her, pressing his face against her neck, breathing in her scent as if it were an addiction he'd gone too long without satisfying. And she was. The whole experience was.

The way her lips parted for him, the smooth skin of her long legs, the warmth between her thighs. He remembered again how perfectly her small breasts fit in his palms, how he could feel her ribs when he wrapped his arms around her. He'd never been able to forget how tight and hot and wet she was.

'God, don't let it be a dream,' was the only thought in his mind when he slid inside her.

He'd had them in the time they'd been apart. Dreams of fucking her, always waking up seconds before he could cum, sweating and gasping for breath, desperate to say her name.

He could say it now. He realized as he held her wrists in his hand, pinning them to the pillows above them, as he brought his other hand down under the small of her back to bring her more firmly against him for the closest, tightest fit, that this had to be real. It was too perfect to be a dream.

He also realized that he was now about ten seconds from his first orgasm in months. His body went tense and he held his breath to keep from being too loud. When the majority of the pleasure had ended, just leaving pleasant little tingles that sent small shivers up his spine, he finally spoke.

"God yeah, darlin'."

Perhaps not the most poetic thing he could have said, but as he rolled over, pulling her against his chest, he tried again, "I love you, Songbird."

Songbird tried to force her vocal cords into action, but all that came out was a choked sound.

"It'll be all right," Daryl said. "I'll take care of you now. Go on to sleep and we'll talk in the mornin'. 

After a while, she could tell he was asleep. She eased out of his embrace and pulled her clothes back on. Songbird wrapped her arms around her knees and listened to his breathing, deep and regular and relaxed. This was what she'd wanted, what she'd nearly died for. So why didn't she feel anything?

She eased out of the bunk, stepped into her boots and snuck out into the, now quiet, hallway. She walked up the hall, relieved to see that everyone else had adopted Daryl's "blanket wall" concept. She stepped into the cell where Michelangelo was and was surprised to find Freddy there.

He glanced up from the book he'd borrowed from Dale. The blush that instantly covered her face told him what had happened between her and Daryl. Which was exactly what he'd expected to happen. It didn't mean he didn't feel sick about it though.

She walked over and sat on the bunk opposite him.

"Did you need something?" he asked.

"No," she whispered. "I just wanted to check on Michelangelo."

"He seems to be breathing okay," Freddy answered. "Odds are that, if he survives the night, he'll make it."

She lay down on the bunk, watching the dog until her eyes closed. Freddy didn't know what to think. Shouldn't she be all cuddled up with Daryl right now?

Songbird couldn't sort out her feelings because there didn't seem to be any. For the first time since they'd met, Daryl's touch hadn't had any effect on her. She'd had the same sensations the whole time he'd fucked her that she'd had with Freddy; that eerie feeling that it was happening to someone else. Her body hadn't reacted, but even stranger, her heart wasn't reacting either.

Nothing had seemed real or worth worrying about in a while, but she'd thought that shell would break when (if) she found Daryl again. It hadn't and she couldn't figure out what that meant. Exhausted with feeling nothing, she went to sleep.


	56. Chapter 54

Daryl woke up and stretched, reaching out to pull her against him. He found only sheets, blankets, and eventually concrete block wall that scraped his knuckles. He bolted upright. No way it had been a dream. His dreams about her were never that detailed.

He yanked on his jeans and boots and walked down the hall. He checked the bathroom, which was empty and turned around, heading back up the hall. He listened intently and, while he did hear a few low voices in conversation, none of them were hers.

Relief mingled with irritation and slight confusion when he found her curled up on a bunk in the room Freddy and Michelangelo occupied. He shrugged it off and sat down on the bunk with her. She didn't stir so he rubbed his hand across her lower back. Songbird woke up with a start.

"Just me," he said, giving her a smile. "Couldn't find you."

"Oh," she sat up, scrambling for something to explain why she wasn't wrapped around him right now.

"Checkin' on the dog?" he asked.

She nodded in relief. He pulled her close and kissed her, moving from her lips down her neck as his hand moved down to her ass.

"You have a room don't you?"

Songbird pulled back at the sound of Freddy's voice, blushing again, unable to look at either of them.

"Forgot you were there," Daryl admitted. "Hey Freddy."

Freddy nodded and stood up, looking at Songbird who was still examining her boots.

"I talked to most of the group last night," he informed her. "And some of the others that you don't know. Everyone knew that you'd be…busy." His voice went rough on the last word. "They said they're all looking forward to seeing you at breakfast."

"Okay," Songbird nodded. "I guess we should get ready then."

"Yeah. I gotta find a shirt," Daryl said. "Come on, darlin'."

She stepped back into Daryl's room and glanced around.

"What did you want me for?" she asked.

He stepped over and kissed her a bit more deeply, pressing her toward the bed. She went tense in his arms and turned.

"What's the matter?"

"We don't have time," she said. "I hear everyone going to breakfast."

"Real quick then," he said, wrapping his arms around her from behind and kissing her neck.

"That's romantic," she muttered, shocked at the irritation in her words. "It's just that…" she stumbled, trying to remember how she used to be, how they used to talk. It seemed so long ago.

"I guess you wanna see everybody else too," Daryl said after a moment. "We can always…there's later. You're back and I ain't lettin' you outta my sight again."

She didn't know how to answer that. As they walked down to eat she could see that he meant it. He walked so close to her that she ended up kicking him a few times accidentally. And when he wasn't breathing down her neck he had his hands on her. The back of her neck, the small of her back…by the time they reached the cafeteria she was nearly furious for some reason.

"Songbird!" Glenn threw his arms around her the minute she and Daryl walked in.

"Hi Glenn," God, was her voice ever going to liven up? Glenn was looking at her with sort of a wounded expression. She forced a smile and hugged him again. The next few minutes were overwhelming.

Glenn introduced her to Maggie, his girlfriend. Dale and Andrea came up and hugged her as well. Shane gave her a nod and an awkward pat on the back. Herschel came in with a positive progress report on Michelangelo and introduced himself "properly." Carl came and gave her a hug, introducing his friend Greg, who Songbird discovered was Emma's brother. Rick gave her a wave from the table he was sitting at with Freddy and Emma stepped up again, even though she and Songbird had already met.

"Hi!" she said with a friendly smile. "I know that we sort of met last night…but you know, you were worried about the dog and then you passed out and after that I assumed that you and Daryl were…" she blushed and went on, "Well, you know, busy…so I wasn't sure if you remembered me. I'm Emma."

"I…" Songbird started to say that she remembered when the girl went on, all bright and chipper.

"And I know you haven't met my dad! This is him."

She presented him as if he was somebody special. Songbird shook the hand he held out when he introduced himself as Brad. There wasn't anything remarkable that she could see about him. He must not have felt the same way, because when she said her name, his gaze narrowed and he asked her to repeat it.

"Songbird," she said again. "It's a nickname, but it's what I prefer to be called."

"Of course," the man gave her a sort of strained smile and walked over to eat.

"Daddy's not a morning person," Emma explained. "Anyway, I was kind of hoping we could eat breakfast together. You and I are the youngest girls here!"

Songbird felt a brief spike of amusement at Daryl's facepalm in response to Emma's remark.

"Um, I'm pretty sure he isn't going to let me out of his sight long enough for me to eat with you," she said, gesturing at Daryl.

"Well…" Emma looked beguilingly up at Daryl. "Can I sit with you?"

He sighed heavily and said, "Sure."

Emma sat down beside Rick, across from Freddy. Daryl raised an eyebrow at Songbird, who shrugged. She didn't think it was likely that Emma was going to get with Freddy anytime soon. She sat beside Freddy and Daryl sat beside her. She forced another smile Rick's way. It was an odd sensation to know what she should be feeling while still being totally unable to feel it.

She'd forgotten that, not only was Rick the former boyfriend of her former best friend, he was a cop. He gave her a searching look. She turned up the wattage on the smile and eventually he went back to talking to Freddy.

She was in the middle of eating her breakfast when Lori and Carol walked in. Lori looked a little pale and Songbird deduced that the morning sickness wasn't getting better. She stepped over and gave Songbird a hug and Freddy a smile and then she went and took a seat.

A surge of genuine emotion shocked through Songbird's system when she saw Lori sit down casually beside Rick and kiss his cheek. A few things happened at once. Daryl put his hand on Songbird's knee when he saw the surprise on her face; she swatted it away in distracted irritation, Freddy's first "What the fuck?" having gone unheard, he said it again, loud enough for it to ring through the cafeteria. In the sudden quiet that followed his outraged inquiry, Carol, who hadn't made it past the door, fainted.

Daryl, Herschel, and Emma all jumped up at the same time and ran over. Songbird wondered abstractedly about Daryl's sudden dedication to the woman, but she couldn't work up any feelings about it. Besides, there was the fact that Freddy was so tense with anger that she could feel it just sitting beside him.

"You…you and her," he began, looking at Lori and Rick. "You're back together?"

Rick nodded, Lori looked down at her tray.

"God Rick! She's not even…" he started to say cold, but given the way his sister had died, it seemed inappropriate. "How long? How long before you…"

"Listen Freddy I can understand why you're upset," Rick began.

"No. You can't."

"I understand why you're confused," Shane drawled from a little way down the table. "I was sort of confused myself."

"Now isn't the time," Lori said, in a voice that was a little too even.

Freddy stood up in disgust.

"Freddy," Rick said.

"Fuck you."

He turned and walked out of the cafeteria. Songbird stood and went after him. If Rick and Lori had gotten back together that soon, maybe that explained Daryl's new devotion to Carol. That realization didn't make her feel anything either.

"Hey! Where the hell you goin'?" Daryl asked.

"To check on Freddy," she answered without stopping.

"He's a grown man. He'll be fine. Stay here."

Had he always spoken to her like that? Just given her orders that she'd blindly followed? Another surge of anger. At least she could still feel that.

"You've got your hands full," she answered. "And I'm done eating."

She walked out of the room and jogged a bit to catch up with Freddy.

"Freddy, wait for me!"

He didn't so she jogged a bit faster, caught up and tugged his jacket.

"Are you okay?"

"No! What the fuck is he doing back with her?" He was still walking, sort of dragging Songbird with him. "How could he do that to Lucky?"

"I don't know…" Songbird could actually think of several reasons, but she knew that Freddy wasn't going to be rational any time soon.

"I trusted him!" Freddy stopped so suddenly that Songbird ran into him. "I let him play around with my sister's heart and this is what he does when she's gone?"

"Well, that was really Lucky's decision to make," she said, trying to absolve him of the guilt.

Freddy snorted. "I could have gotten rid of Rick Grimes any time I wanted. I always looked out for her when it came to men. Lucky wasn't…Lucky wasn't great with relationships. The only reason I even let your stupid group come along was because of…" he broke the sentence off and she looked away. "The point is, Rick's a jackass."

"I know it looks like that," she said. "But there is the baby…"

"The baby no one knows for sure is his?"

"Well…" there wasn't anything she could say to that. "I'm so sorry Freddy."

He sighed and pulled her against him, resting his chin on her head.

"I just feel like I'm letting her down," he admitted. "And I'm not even sure that makes sense."

"It wouldn't have turned out the same if Lucky were here," Songbird said. "Rick isn't the cheating type."

"Yeah."

He didn't let go and Songbird realized she didn't want him to. She wasn't acting, she wasn't forcing her emotions. Right now with Freddy, she was…real.

"Sit her up," Herschel said. "Gently."

Daryl did, supporting Carol's shoulders as Emma checked her pulse.

"She's alive," Carol murmured. "She's…"

"Yeah," Daryl answered. "She's alive. I thought somebody woulda said somethin' to you about it last night."

Carol shook her head slowly. Daryl was about to offer to go and get Songbird so Carol could speak to her, they'd always been close after all, but then he remembered something else. Songbird wouldn't know about T-dog and Sophia. The last thing Carol needed right now was someone asking about her daughter.

He passed Carol off to Herschel and stood. "I'll be back."

Songbird pulled away from Freddy when she heard Daryl say her name.

"I need to talk to you," he said, giving Freddy a long look, which Freddy returned with an insolent shrug.

"Are you okay?" she asked Freddy, resisting Daryl's pull.

"Uh," he was so surprised by the change in her behavior that he couldn't think of how to answer the question. "Yeah. I guess I'll have to be."

She and Daryl walked off down the hall, back to Daryl's room.

"What the hell's his problem?" Daryl asked.

"This is what you brought me down here to talk about?"

"No."

"His problem is that Rick lost Lucky less than a year ago and now he's back with his ex."

"Oh. Well, ain't nothin' he can do about it," Daryl said with a shrug.

"I never said there was. Why are you such a dick to Freddy?"

Daryl was surprised. "I ain't."

"Sure you are. Anyway, you said you had something to tell me…" she crossed her arms.

"It's about Carol…"

"You and her?" Songbird asked the question almost flippantly.

"Huh? No," he was shocked that she would ask so casually, she who had once punched a woman in the face over him. "It ain't nothin' like that…it's…sit down okay?"

She sat, arching an eyebrow at him.

"T-dog's dead."

"Oh…poor Carol."

"And that ain't all. Sophia…Sophia didn't make it either."

"What?" Songbird gasped. Sophia had always been her favorite kid. "But…but Lucky showed her how to fight and shoot! I showed her how to throw…" a sob caught in her throat. "How did that happen?"

Daryl sat down beside her and explained, ending with, "Rick had to shoot her."

"So she just panicked," Songbird murmured. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. It felt like she was choking.

"Yeah. She was just a little girl," Daryl put his arm across Songbird's shoulders.

She knew he expected her to lean against him, so she did. Daryl was relieved when he felt her body form to his again. She still needed him.


	57. Chapter 55

Three days later, Songbird scratched Michelangelo behind the ears and laughed in relief when he licked her face. Emotions hadn't been her friend lately. She had flashes sometimes, but they never lasted. Earlier in the day, she and Maggie had gone horseback riding and she'd actually felt almost happy…until her feet touched the ground. Then the numb feeling had returned.

Daryl smiled at hearing her laugh. It didn't happen often. Poor Emma did her best to be Songbird's friend, but it wasn't working. Maggie had made the attempt as well, not as strongly as outgoing Emma, but it hadn't been any better received. Andrea and Lori, who had obviously believed they'd pick things up where they left off, seemed confused by Songbird. Carol avoided her like the plague and she didn't even seem to care, which wasn't like his girl at all. He would have been tempted to talk to someone about it, but then he'd have to admit the whole sex thing.

He could barely even admit that to himself. It was…

"What are you frowning about?" Emma asked, poking him in the arm.

Shitty sex. Yeah. There was especially no way he was going to explain it to her.

"Didn't know I was," he lied.

"I wanted to ask your opinion," she said. "Do you think Songbird would want to help with the sewing? We've still got a lot planned and I thought she might want to make a dress too."

"Couldn't hurt," he said after a moment's thought. "She used to like sewin'."

Songbird glanced up when Emma knelt in front of her with a smile. She repressed her irritation (seriously that kid was everywhere lately!) and said, "What's up?"

"Daryl said you'd like to sew with us," she said.

"Did Daryl?" Further irritation. "Well I guess what Daryl says goes doesn't it?"

"I…I mean if you don't want to…" Emma trailed off, blushing and looking down.

"It's fine," she felt vaguely bad now. Emma had taken good care of Michelangelo. "Tomorrow?"

"Yeah," just as quickly Emma cheered up. "We meet in one of the empty cells on the lower level. But it might just be you and me. Andrea's helping them clean out the gym and Lori's doing something too. And you know Maggie only shows up when she feels like it."

She gave Maggie a smile and Maggie rolled her eyes good naturedly as she responded, "It's not my fault Glenn is such a reluctant seamstress."

Another half grin from Songbird. Daryl found himself practically studying her these past few days. There had to be a common thread. Something that made her happy. Something he could do that wouldn't annoy the shit out of her. As he watched, her face transformed for just a second, bright and happy and beautiful. His heart skipped a beat, as pussified as that sounded, because she was looking in his direction.

"Hey Songbird," Freddy spoke from behind him.

Goddamnit.

"Hey Freddy. Look, he's all better!"

"I knew he'd pull through," Freddy knelt, rubbing the dog's ears. "You're tough aren't you boy?"

Michelangelo gave him a grin. That dog was a damned traitor. And Freddy was even worse, first his girl and now his dog? Daryl stood up, wishing he had somewhere to be. Songbird looked up at him and something seemed to flicker briefly over her face, but she didn't say anything.

"Daryl, can I talk to you?"

"Yes," Daryl answered Brad firmly, briefly thanking God for the distraction. It should keep him from thinking about Songbird for a little while at least.

They walked outside where it was quieter and Daryl raised his eyebrow inquiringly. It was pretty weird for Brad to want to talk to him out of the blue like that.

"I wanted to talk to you about Songbird."

Well fuck.

"What about her?"

"Emma hopes to spend a good bit of time with her. I just wondered what you could tell me about her."

"You wanna know if she's a bad influence?" Daryl asked dryly. "Why don't you just grill her like you grilled me?"

Brad only shrugged.

"All right. She's 19, uh…hell, what do you wanna know?"

"What's her real name?"

"You'd have to ask her."

"Where's she from?"

"You'd have to ask her that too."

"Is she a spy?" Brad flung out his hands in frustration.

Daryl laughed.

"Nah. She's had a pretty interestin' life; it's just her story to tell."

"Where did you meet her?" Brad hoped that would give him the answer to the question of where she was from. How much traveling did the average teenager do anyway?

"Somewhere in Georgia. She'd been walkin' for a real long time."

"So it was after Wildfire began?" Brad's hopes of having his question answered disappeared before his eyes.

"Yeah. About a month after it got real bad. She was walkin' like I said. Nearly starved to death. Skinny as a rail."

Daryl thought back to how she'd looked when he first saw her. Her jeans had been practically falling off because of how thin she'd become and her small tee shirt had nearly swallowed her whole. Her hair had been tangled and filthy, her face and arms were streaked with dirt, and even though part of his mind had recognized that even clean, she was more like average, he'd thought she was beautiful.

"Anyway," he said, clearing his throat. "You oughta just go talk to her if you're scared she's gonna lead your sweet little girl astray…talk her into marryin' rednecks and shit like that."

"She doesn't seem very interested in talking," Brad pointed out, giving Daryl a brief grin to acknowledge the joke.

"You can't go by that. She's a little off lately."

"So she's not normally…"

"Bitchy? Nah. She used to be real friendly. Sweet and funny too. Lot like Emma I guess. Still, if you're gonna go all Father of the Year, you gotta do your own research," Daryl thumped Brad on the back and went inside.

His mood improved somewhat when Michelangelo trotted his way with a big doggy grin.

"Hey boy. I knew you still liked me best."

Daryl patted his chest and Michelangelo put his front paws on Daryl's shoulders.

"Good boy. You took good care of her didn't you?"

The dog grinned.

"I bet you had more to do with gettin' her back safe than that prick Freddy."

Michelangelo looked disapproving.

"Ah come on! You can't tell me you like that pussy! He was scared of you. If he'd had his way you never woulda come to live at the compound. Just somethin' to think about. Come on, let's get your shit and you can come sleep in the room with Songbird and me. Whatcha think?"

Michelangelo's tail wagged at the mention of Songbird and he obediently followed Daryl up the hall and promptly claimed the bottom bunk of the opposite bed for his own. Daryl took it as a sign that everything was shaping up to be as it should be.

That night Daryl was determined to have, if not epic, at least good sex. As Songbird braided her hair for bed he stepped up behind her, catching her hands and kissing her neck.

"I'm sort of in the middle of something here," she said, trying for an even tone.

"Yeah, well, so am I," he replied, cupping her breasts and nipping the skin at the base of her neck. "You know how much I missed you?"

She closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on feeling even a fraction of what she used to feel for him. Why couldn't she get a flash of emotion in moments like these? She was desperate to feel something, especially something for him.

"I missed the way you taste," he kissed his way up her neck, over her jaw line and brushing her lips. "The way you feel," he slide one hand down between her legs.

She scrunched her face in frustration, something he took for pleasure, and she realized just how easy it would be to at least make him feel better about the whole thing. Perhaps lying underneath him stiff as a board for the past three nights _had_ made him question things. If so, she could hardly blame him.

When he took her to bed she remembered to bite her lip when he pushed his fingers inside her, remembered to tighten her grip when he replaced his fingers with his cock, and even threw in a few repetitions of his name as he picked up the pace.

When it was finally over she felt good enough about the performance she'd put on to roll over and go to sleep without the after sex guilt she'd been dealing with lately. Daryl, on the other hand, was too busy wondering if he should feel honored that she'd put so much into faking to fall asleep.

What the hell had that been about? What made him feel even worse was that he'd believed it until the very end. He knew damn good and well what it felt like when she came; her body hadn't even shivered once, let alone tightened up the way it should have. He almost would have preferred the totally non-responsive way she'd been for the past few nights than an (admittedly energetically crafted) lie.

He was going to ask her about it, but he realized that she was asleep. Unless she was faking that too. He poked her in the ribs. Nothing. He flicked her in the stomach. Also nothing. At least the sleep wasn't a lie. He'd sure as fuck ask her about it in the morning.

Songbird woke up early and headed to the cafeteria. The only other person there was Carol.

"Good morning!" she said, trying out this faking thing on other aspects of her life.

Carol didn't answer; she just stood up and walked out. Songbird raised her eyebrows, but she didn't really feel hurt. A little confused maybe, but not hurt.

She'd just finished getting her breakfast together when the door opened again.

"Good morning!"

Yay. It was Emma.

"So glad there's another morning person around! My dad and brother are practically zombies in the morning!"

"I'd watch who I said that to," Songbird cut in. "Someone might show up in your room with a crossbow."

Emma giggled and went on chattering, "So you're still sewing with me today right? I thought we could get started right after breakfast. I'd really like to get my dress done today…"

Emma continued chatting as the room filled up with the rest of the group only stopping when Daryl walked over and just spoke over her.

"I wanna talk to you," he said to Songbird.

"Emma and I are sewing right after breakfast," she replied. "She can tell you all about it."

"I'm good," he said dryly before Emma could launch into the whole thing again. "I'm gonna be cleanin' out the gym."

He was hoping for at least a "be careful" but all he got was a nod. He finished his breakfast and met up with Rick, Shane, Glenn, and Andrea to go and rid the gym of Walkers.

"I'd be freaking out if it was my husband in there," Emma said, admiration in her voice as they walked down to the sewing room.

"Why?" Songbird asked absently.

"It's full of those things," Emma said. "I walked by there the other day and I could hear them. They must be so hungry…"

"Wait. Walkers? That's what they're "cleaning"?"

"Yeah. You didn't know?"

"No," Songbird understood the slightly disappointed look in Daryl's eyes when he'd walked away now. In the past, she would have had a fit. Of course, he would have done what he wanted anyway. She tried to shrug it off. She was sure he'd be fine. Wouldn't he? She glanced in the direction of the gym. There was nothing she could do about it now…if she showed up she'd just be a distraction.

"So, tell me about yourself," Emma said later once they were both in the rhythm of sewing.

"What do you want to know?" Songbird frowned at a knot in her thread.

"Anything! Where are you from?"

"Nowhere," she replied, giving the typical circus performer answer.

"You can't be from nowhere," Emma ventured.

Songbird sighed and cut the knot out of the thread as she said, "I was born in Ohio."

"Where in Ohio?" the question came from Brad. Someone with a gun always sat in on the sewing circle and Brad had taken Dale's turn today.

"Xenia," she answered with only a slight wince.

"And you're how old?"

"19. Why?"

Brad shrugged and looked down at the gun, "No reason."

"Are you okay Daddy?"

"Fine sweetheart," he gave Emma a smile, but it looked strained.

She would have questioned further, but Freddy walked into the room. Brad noticed both girls look up at Freddy and then glance down, blushes highlighting their cheeks. Well that wasn't good.

"Hello ladies," Freddy said. "I throw myself on the mercy of the sewing circle and humbly beg that you repair my shirt."

"I will!" Emma jumped to her feet as if she had won a prize.

Songbird simply gave Freddy a half smile and said, "What did you do?"

He cleared his throat as he tugged the shirt off and handed it to Emma.

"That isn't relevant to the repair process," he protested. When Songbird only held his gaze he said, "Okay fine. In the hall there's a kind of a bump type thing…and then in the wall there's a nail. And it's possible that I might have stumbled slightly over the bump type thing and come in brief contact with that nail."

"I did that too!" Emma exclaimed. "It's right near Rick and Lori's room right?"

"Yeah!" Freddy gave her a smile. "See? It's not just me. I'm glad you're here, Emma."

She giggled. Brad gave Freddy a disapproving look that he didn't notice, even though Songbird did. Did Brad seriously think Freddy was the kind of guy who'd go for a 15 year old kid? She decided that Brad was an odd guy. Asking questions about her life as though it mattered to him, giving Freddy dirty looks just for being good looking enough for Emma to have a crush on him…maybe she'd have to ask Daryl about him. At least it would give them something to talk about.

Freddy didn't leave, despite his shirt having been repaired with alacrity by Emma, and Maggie, who was worried about Glenn's safety, had joined them as well. Near lunchtime Carol walked into the room.

"I didn't expect you to be here," she said to Songbird as she picked up her project, a quilt made of orange jumpsuit and white sheet squares. Freddy thought Lucky would have liked that, being a teacher at Clemson University and everything.

"Emma dragged me," Songbird answered honestly.

Carol nodded and began sewing. Emma, who couldn't stand the feeling of tension in the air, and not quite brave enough to start a conversation with Freddy, asked Songbird, "So, did you have a job before all this?"

"Yeah," she answered. "Did you?"

Not quite what Emma had hoped for as an answer, but she replied, "Not really. I volunteered at the hospital for school. I've always wanted to be a nurse."

"You really landed on your feet with finding Herschel," Songbird commented.

"I sure did! He's taught me so much," Emma replied enthusiastically.

"Luck was certainly on your side," Songbird made the comment distractedly, working out another knot in the thread and cursing silently.

"She's not the only one," Carol leveled her gaze on Songbird. "Look at you. You didn't starve, you didn't die on the bridge, and you made it back somehow…you're here. You don't think you're fortunate?"

Songbird didn't really know how to answer. Fortunate seemed to be on the list of things that didn't register anymore. She wasn't surprised by the animosity in Carol's voice; people must be bitter that she'd survived when their loved ones didn't.

"I guess…"

"You guess? There are those who would give anything to have your luck."

"I'm sorry Carol," she answered. "I really am sorry about Sophia and T."

Carol pushed the quilt off her lap and walked out of the room. Freddy gave Songbird a concerned glance, but she was back at work on the knot in her thread. Emma was biting her lip, looking on the verge of tears even though she didn't really have anything to do with the situation.

"So," Freddy attempted to change the subject. "Why don't you tell them what you used to do?"

Songbird sighed and gave him a "What the fuck?" look. He shrugged. She'd told everyone else, and honestly it was a silly secret to keep.

"I was a circus performer," she said flatly.

"What?" Emma stared at her.

"A circus performer. Throwing knives and corde lisse."

"That's so awesome! How did you get into that?"

"My mom was a single parent. She started working for the circus when she was pregnant with me. She stayed on after she had me, so it was only natural that I'd be part of it too."

"What did she do?" Emma asked.

"Fortune teller. She looked kind of like a gypsy. We don't look anything alike," she went on in response to Emma's skeptical expression. "She had black hair and dark eyes. A little pale to be a gypsy, but "people see what they wanna see"," her voice deepened and slid into Papa Tony's Italian accent as she quoted him.

"That's just the most awesome thing ever! I can't believe you don't talk about it all the time! And what's corde lisse?"

"How can you think it's awesome if you don't know what it is?" Songbird asked.

Emma shrugged.

Songbird explained corde lisse using her sewing thread and Emma's eyes sparkled as she leaned forward, watching Songbird's fingers.

"Kind of like being a pole dancer," she commented.

"Emma!" Brad protested.

"It's not anyway," Songbird said coolly. "A pole would be much easier because it's more stable."

"I guess that's why you look the way you do," Emma said enviously. "All lean and muscle-ly."

"Yeah well, spend ten years on a rope and you'll look like me," she replied. "Don't you have a dress to sew?"

Daryl swung the axe and split the Walkers skull in two and then let out his breath. That was the last one. They'd actually managed it well, no casualties, some seriously awesome shots too. Glenn held out his fist to be bumped and Daryl obliged; it was the least he could do, the kid had saved his life at one point.

"Go tell your woman you made it," he said.

"You should too shouldn't you?" Glenn asked.

"Reckon so."

Not that she'd seemed to care that he was risking his life. He shrugged that off and headed for the sewing room.

"I'm alive," he announced.

"I didn't know there were Walkers in the gym," Songbird said.

"You didn't? What the hell'd you think I meant by cleanin'?" The relief that swept through him was staggering.

She shrugged.

"I don't know, I just didn't think that."

He sat down beside her and she held the dress she was making away from him.

"You're covered in Walker sludge."

He glanced down and saw that she was right. That would explain why Andrea had headed for the showers rather than going to talk to Dale.

"Hey Mags," Glenn said from the door.

"Oh thank God!" Maggie jumped up and threw her arms around him. "Did you get them all?"

"Sure did," Glenn answered. "Hey, you're getting blood on you."

"It's okay, we've got showers."

"Now that's a good idea," Maggie gave him a smile and they headed down the hall.

That was what was missing between him and Songbird. He remembered what he'd wanted to talk to her about, not that he was going to do it in front of everyone. How the hell was he going to start the conversation though? "Hey, if you don't wanna have sex with me don't act like it's good?" No. Just no.

"You're frowning again," Emma pointed out.

"I ain't frownin'; this is what I look like when I'm thinkin'."

"Yeah, it's not easy for him," Freddy commented.

Emma giggled, but to Daryl's great relief, Songbird did not. At least that was going his way. And she hadn't known about the Walkers. He decided he'd hold off on having the talk. Things were looking up; he was sure of it. Just give her some time and she'd be back to normal.

A/N: Okay everyone…I know. I know that this is not the reunion everyone was hoping for…it's not even really the way I planned to write it. But the show isn't exactly happy and I've always tried to stay true to the spirit of it. So I'm just going to have to ask all of you for patience while people figure themselves out again. Hope you're still enjoying the story even if it's taken an unexpected turn (I feel really guilty for not giving you guys the happy reunion you were hoping for!). And I also want to thank everyone who's commented and thank you for the support of the story, it means a lot to me!


	58. Chapter 56

That night, she lay still, expecting Daryl to reach for her. He didn't. After a moment of silence he said, "Songbird?"

"What is it?"

"Am I doin' somethin' wrong here?"

She played dumb.

"In what way?"

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talkin' about. Hell, if you didn't wanna fuck me then you coulda just said."

She didn't know how to answer that so she stayed quiet.

"Now you ain't gonna say anything?"

"I'm sorry."

"I don't get it. It used to be good didn't it?"

"Yes. Daryl, you're not doing anything differently. The problem isn't you. Anyway, I only faked so you'd feel better…"

"Better?" he repeated incredulously. "You thought lyin' to me would make me feel better?"

"I wasn't lying. I was just being…polite."

Now he was the one who was speechless. Only a woman's mind would work like that. There wasn't a man alive who found a faked orgasm "polite."

"How about you let me know when you get in the mood to act like we're still married?" he suggested before turning over, putting his back to her.

She lay awake for a long time after that. She knew that she'd hurt him; she knew she was different…she just didn't know how to change it. After almost an hour had passed, Daryl rolled over again with a sigh and pulled her against him.

"I love you."

"I love you too," were the words simply automatic or did she still mean them? She was driving herself crazy. She burrowed against him the way she used to and he held her tighter.

"It'll get better," he said. "You're here for me to take care of again and I'll fix this."

"It's not yours to fix," she protested.

"Yeah it is. You're my girl."

Considering the matter closed, Daryl fell asleep. Songbird lay awake long after that, trying to put her finger on why she was so irritated with his assumption that she needed him to straighten out her problems. Once it would have made her feel protected and safe. Now it made her feel…something else, something she wouldn't acknowledge.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning at breakfast Songbird was accosted by a red headed ten year old.

"My sister said you can throw knives. I told her she was lying and she said "ask her" so I am and she is isn't she?"

"So your question is "Is Emma a liar?" and to that I have to say, I don't know."

"You answer questions like dad," Greg replied in frustration.

"I could have told you she throws knives," Carl said from his place at the next table. "She's awesome with them because she grew up in a circus…oops. Sorry Songbird."

"It's okay. Freddy blew my cover yesterday anyway," she reassured Carl.

"I don't see why you'd want it," Emma maintained. "I bet life in the circus was…"

"Awesome," Songbird finished dryly. "Yeah I know."

"Show me how," Greg demanded.

"Why should she?" Emma questioned before Songbird could tell Greg exactly how long it took to learn to throw a knife. "You didn't even think she could do it. And anyway, you owe me an apology punk."

"What for?" Greg widened his big blue eyes innocently.

"You called me a liar!"

"I thought you were lying."

"That doesn't make it better!"

"Greg," Bradley sat down and leveled a gaze on his son. "Apologize to your sister."

"I'm sorry I called you a liar," he said in a monotone.

Emma gave a gracious nod.

"It is pretty unbelievable," Songbird acknowledged.

"Unbelievably cool!" Carl said with a grin. "Will you show him Songbird? Please?"

She glanced up to find the eyes of the entire group on her.

"Ummm, I don't know…" she said, feeling a little odd about performing again.

Daryl, who'd let her handle it up to this point, sighed in frustration and said, "Sure you will darlin'."

"I will?" she repeated, emphasizing the last word in pure shock.

"Yeah," he nodded like the matter was closed because, to him, it was. He'd decided that she simply needed to snap right the hell out of whatever the fuck was wrong with her. He figured the best way for her to do that was to just do whatever the fuck he said until she got it together. "She'll show you after breakfast."

The kids' faces lit up and Songbird forced a smile.

"I thought we were going riding after breakfast," Freddy remarked, catching Songbird's eye.

"She'll have to catch up with you another day," Daryl answered before Songbird could speak.

That was another thing Daryl was determined to change. Freddy fuckin' Mackensie took up way too much of Songbird's time and he didn't like it at all. Hell, hadn't she seen enough of him in the months she'd been apart from the group? He'd decided that he would keep her busy with other things, things she should have been doing anyway in his opinion, and leave her no time to hang out with Freddy.

Songbird forced another smile in response to Freddy's raised eyebrow and said, "Sorry. I guess I'm spoken for."

"Sure looks like it," he acknowledged with a slight shake of his head.

"You could come with us and watch her throw," Emma offered shyly.

"I might just do that," he agreed, mostly to piss Daryl off, but also to keep an eye on Songbird.

Once breakfast was done Daryl set up a target for her in the yard and Glenn sketched a Walker on it in Sharpie.

"Okay," she said, stepping back. "Do you guys want to call the shots or shall I?"

"Let us!" Greg called with a gleam in his eyes, obviously still not convinced.

"Okay," she said, again, leaning down and drawing several knives from her boot sheath.

"In the head!" Greg ordered.

Songbird threw, planting the knife between the eyes Glenn had drawn.

"Next."

"Nose!" Carl shouted.

'Thunk' "Next."

Within minutes there were knives in the dead center of each of the Walker's eyes, one in each arm, and a smiley face of knives in the "Walker's" chest, Carl's suggestion.

"Wow," Greg sounded thoroughly impressed.

Songbird gave a slight bow and then began removing the knives, examining the blades critically. They really needed to be sharpened. She put it on her mental to-do list.

"There'd still be time to take that ride," Freddy mentioned.

"Ain't neither," Daryl corrected. "We gotta clean the gym."

"I thought you already did that," Songbird's voice rose just slightly.

"We killed 'em all, but there's blood and all that all over the floor, we're wantin' to get it clean so the kids can play in it."

"And that's my job?"

"Is now," he gave her a push toward the prison. "Lori and Carol are in there now."

"So you've decided that she doesn't get any more freedom at all ever?" Freddy asked.

"It ain't your business," Daryl replied.

"Look, I know her pretty well at this point," Freddy raked his hand through his hair in frustration. "You can't just keep treating her like a child! You have to…"

"You don't know her the way I do," Daryl cut in. "I think I've got this under control."

"This or her?"

"We gonna have a problem?"

"If she's not okay with the way you're treating her then yeah, we are."

"Feel free to ask her anytime," Daryl said before walking away.

Songbird walked into the gym and wrinkled her nose. Blood and entrails and brain matter spattered the floor, walls, and windows of the big room.

"Can't the kids just play outside?" she asked.

Lori laughed and said, "That's what I thought too, but Rick pointed out that winter is on its way and there's going to be enough cabin fever as it is. I'm glad you came to help."

She gave Songbird a brief side hug and a smile. She felt bad for the girl; she was obviously having a hard time and she was so different from her normal, happy self that it had to be harder on her than anyone else.

"I thought you were going riding with Freddy," Carol commented, dipping a rag in soapy water and beginning the scrub the wall.

"Daryl decided I wasn't," Songbird answered. "So…walls first?"

"Yeah," Lori answered. "But what do you mean Daryl decided you weren't?"

"He sent me in here to do this," she said with a shrug. "And it does look like you need help."

"I can't argue with you there," Lori slid her a bucket of soapy water and a cloth, then handed her a pair of rubber gloves. "Be really careful."

Songbird nodded and walked over to the right hand wall. Lori made a mental note to talk to Rick about Daryl and Songbird.

"So did you have freaks?" Emma's voice broke into Songbird's preoccupied wall cleaning state several hours later.

"Huh? Oh at the circus. Um, yeah. We had a show of "uncommon people"; Papa Tony didn't call them freaks."

"I've always thought that freak shows were sort of mean," Andrea commented; she'd followed Emma in.

Songbird shrugged and said, "Some of them are. Ours wasn't… it's like Papa Tony said, who else is going to hire them? At least at Moretti's they got a paycheck and the respect of their peers."

"Was Papa Tony your grandpa?" Emma asked.

"Not exactly. Sort of my adopted dad. My dad ran out on my mom while she was pregnant."

"That's awful," Emma patted Songbird's back as if the loss was recent.

"Yeah, well it was a long time ago; I never even met him. Uh, what about you?" she tried to think of some conversation since it was obvious Emma was going to hang around.

"Um, traditional home I guess," Emma rubbed her arm self consciously. "Nothing like growing up in a circus."

"Growing up in a circus isn't exactly what people think it is," Songbird replied. "It was relatively normal, just instead of playing Playstation I threw knives. It's not as awesome as it sounds."

Emma shrugged, happy that Songbird was finally talking to her. She'd been determined to make friends with her since she showed up. For one thing, because even though she was Daryl's wife, Songbird was close to her age and for another, because she spent so much time with Freddy. Emma was going to marry Freddy someday; she was determined about that too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Daryl noticed that Songbird's shoulders were slumped that night at dinner and she had dark circles under her eyes. He sighed and dropped a plate of food in front of her.

"Eat," he ordered when she didn't move.

She picked up a fork and put food in her mouth so he'd quit staring at her so closely.  
>The day had been exhausting for Songbird. She'd been really tired in general lately and the mindlessness of scrubbing blood and other Walker goop off a huge room hadn't helped keep her alert. Emma's chatter had been the only thing that kept her awake at some points, which had been basically the only good thing about having her in the room.<p>

Songbird found her annoying and the worst part was that she was annoying in that cheerful, chipper way that made it nearly impossible to be mean in return. She wondered if that was how people had felt about her in the past. She remembered Lucky's irritation with her and sighed. It probably was. Looking back on it she was surprised Lucky hadn't just put her out on the side of the road somewhere.

"Tell me about your day," Daryl said.

"Scrub, rinse, repeat," she answered, rubbing her forehead, trying to get rid of the nagging ache. "Intellectually stimulating."

"Maybe you'll like it more tomorrow."

"What?" she didn't know why she was surprised, but she was.

"Didn't get done did you?" he asked.

"No…but…"

"Well then," he tugged her braid. "Gotta keep on keepin' on then don't you?"

The smile she forced was lopsided and so fake that Rick looked at her in concern as she said, "I guess so."

"You should take some time off in the morning," Freddy said. "I've got nobody to go on that ride with."

"I…"

"The horses'll wait."

"Daryl, come on," Songbird felt tears well up and she was annoyed when her voice cracked. The whole numbness thing would come in handy right about now, but she was always more emotional when she was tired. She tried to focus on the bright side of finally feeling something, but it was hard when what she felt was overwhelmed and frustrated. All she'd wanted to do with her day was go for a ride and sharpen her knives, for Pete's sake.

"What? You need to start gettin' shit done around here again instead of just sittin' around bein' all…whatever the hell you been bein'."

Her face heated up and she glanced down at her plate. She'd thought she'd done a decent job of pretending everything was okay. She also hadn't missed the fact that most conversations had gone quiet in the cafeteria. Another emotion got tossed into the mix as humiliation washed through her. That was fun.

"I'm done eating," was all she said as she stood up. "I think I'm going to have a shower and get to bed."

She left the room, avoiding Freddy's eyes and trying to pretend that people weren't staring at her.

"Hey Daryl?" Rick called as Daryl walked past him in the hall. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yeah," Daryl stopped and Rick beckoned him into his room.

"Wanted to talk to you about Songbird," he said. Lori had come to him just before dinner and told him what Songbird had said. She'd been worried about her ever since she came back, and after what he'd seen in the cafeteria he understood why.

"What about her?"

"Don't you think you might be coming on a little strong with her?"

"What the hell you mean?" Daryl stared at him in surprise. Rick usually didn't fuck with people and their relationships.

"I mean she's had it rough lately," Rick said patiently. "God only knows how she even made it back or what she's had to do. We can all see that she isn't quite herself…"

"Yeah, that's what I'm workin' on," Daryl explained. "Like I told Freddy this mornin', I got it under control."

"I don't think it's something you can control," Rick said. "I think that she's having some problems and God knows I wish there was somebody she could talk to…"

"What, like a fuckin' head shrinker? She don't need all that! She just needs to keep herself busy and she'll be fine."

"Has she even told you about how she got here?"

"No. I didn't ask her neither. She needs to leave that shit in the past if that's what's upsettin' her. Just needs to get the fuck over it."

"That's a little harsh," Rick pointed out. "She needs…"

"I don't need you tellin' me what she needs," Daryl tried to keep his voice even because he didn't want to fight with Rick, but he was pretty pissed off that people kept asking him about his girl. "And it might sound harsh, but, the truth is, she just needs to snap out of it."

"People don't "just snap out of" major depressive states!" Rick was getting irritated with Daryl's stubbornness. "Songbird needs compassion, not commands."

"Compassion ain't gonna get her off her ass. I know how to handle that girl all right?"

"Yes, but what you don't seem to understand is that "that girl" might be different now," Rick forced his breath out and tried again to explain. "You've been apart for a while now. She might have grown up a little. You can't expect her to be the same person she was back then."

"Hell, it ain't even been six months! People don't change that fast."

"They do when they're forced into situations like this, especially at her age. She's been surviving without you this whole time. Maybe she wants to make her own decisions…maybe she doesn't want to come back and be your little girl anymore."

"Jesus. You make it sound…," Daryl couldn't even bring himself to finish the sentence so he jerked the door open and pointed at Rick. "How about I stay the fuck outta your relationships and you do the same for mine?"

Daryl walked out and Rick shrugged in defeat. He made a mental note to talk to Songbird; she needed help and he sure as hell wasn't qualified to give it, but he'd taken a psychology class or two in college and he'd had training in dealing with people in all types of mental states. Maybe he could help before she snapped and killed Daryl. Not that he'd be able to blame her if Daryl stayed so damn overbearing.

Daryl walked in to find Songbird dressed for bed and sharpening her throwing knives. She looked a bit calmer now that she'd showered, but she still had those dark circles under her eyes. He took the whetstone and the blade.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

Sharpening her knives had always calmed her down. It was almost a form of meditation. She'd always been the only one who handled her knives.

"Go to bed; I can do this," he answered.

"Yeah, but I can do this too," she said, holding her hand out. "Please Daryl."

"What's the big deal? You're tired; go to bed."

He sat on the opposite bunk, scratched Michelangelo behind the ears and then slid the blade against the stone. Each sound grated on her nerves. No one, no one, had ever sharpened those knives but her.

"Stop it okay?"

"Why?"

"You wouldn't want me re-stringing Mary Jane would you?"

"That's different."

"No it's not. Please just listen to what I'm saying," she twisted her fingers together to resist the impulse to smack him in the back of the head. "They're my knives and I want to do that."

"Damn. Fine," he slid the knife back into the sheath, but instead of handing it back to her, he dropped it on top of her pack. "You can do it in the morning."

"I thought I was cleaning out the gym."

"Then get up earlier."

She rubbed her hands over her face and got in bed. Daryl followed, putting his arms around her and pulling her against him. He knew she was going to be upset for a few days and he knew it wouldn't be easy, but he didn't know what else to do. Rick's diagnosis of depression was obviously bullshit. What the hell did she have to be depressed about? She had him back and he had her. That should be good enough. With that worked out, he tilted her chin up and kissed her. She pulled back, but he pressed forward.

"I thought you said to let you know when I wanted…" she began.

"Changed my mind," he answered, giving her a half smile she couldn't see in the dark. "Hard to have you next to me and not fuck you."

She didn't fake again and Daryl decided not to take her lack of response personally. She'd get over that too. He was sure of it.

A/N: Okay, honestly I've hesitated to upload the next few chapters because I don't want people to yell at me. Yes, I'm a pansy…but seriously, I don't mind creative criticism, I do mind stuff like "You suck. I hate you!" Not that anyone has done that on this story…but I thought I'd throw it out there. Lol

The main point to this is that this is a story that is not just about Daryl; I wanted to create a character that could fit into the whole story, not just that was cute with him. Hope you still enjoy the rest of the story and that you like it…or that if you hate it you aren't mean about it lol


	59. Chapter 57

Two weeks later Daryl and Songbird were both exhausted by his plan. They each lay awake at night assuming that the other was asleep and praying desperately to find a way to go back to the way it had been before. Every morning they woke up and refused to acknowledge that nothing had changed and then Songbird would go do whatever chores Daryl decided she needed to do. He usually shadowed her, but if he couldn't he always made sure someone did.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a moment to herself. Even in the extended family of the circus she'd had moments to herself times when everyone knew to back off. She'd needed those times to keep herself sane when life was good. She sure as hell would have loved even five minutes of solitude now.

To make matters worse, in terms of quiet at least, was that the person Daryl usually picked to be with her when he couldn't was Emma. When she spent time with Emma all she did was field questions about the circus and Freddy. Mostly Freddy.

"How old is he?"

"27."

"That's so cool. What did he do for a living?"

"Worked full time in his dads' weaponry shop."

"That's awesome! He's over six feet tall isn't he?"

"6'2"

"That's so…" fill in adjective. Cool, awesome, great, wonderful.

Obviously little Emma had it bad for Freddy. Songbird couldn't say she blamed her. Freddy was hot and funny, smart and nice. A little awkward sure, but there wasn't anything wrong with that.

Too bad she never got to see him anymore. Daryl practically pushed her out of whatever room Freddy walked into. She knew he'd always been the jealous type, but he'd never been this bad. He hadn't even thanked Freddy for his part in getting her back alive.

Not that he'd asked about that at all. He didn't seem to care how she'd managed to get back. She'd asked Daryl about his own journey but all he'd said was that they'd found the farm on the way to Ft. Benning, stayed there for a while, and then found the prison. Then he'd sent her to sew with Emma and Lori. If brevity was wit Daryl was the smartest man in the known world.

Today her assignment was in Block A with Lori and Andrea examining furniture for what Carl referred to as "Walker juice" to see what might be usable still. Some creature comforts in the cells weren't necessary, but they sure as hell wouldn't be unwelcome.

"This looks good," she called to Lori, pointing to a couch. "If the guys want to mess with lifting it."

"I'll ask them," Lori said, coming over and examining the couch herself. "You're right, we can probably scrub that out."

She looked at Songbird and gave her a smile as she said, "You know what? I think we've got this."

Songbird looked at her in surprise.

"I heard Glenn and Maggie talking about taking the horses out," Andrea said. "Two people can't take three horses so I'm sure they'd appreciate having you help out."

Songbird felt a thrill of happiness tingle through her.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Lori gave her a pat on the shoulder. "Go on and take that ride."

"Thanks!" Songbird left the room before they could change their minds.

"I haven't seen her smile like that in a long time," Lori mentioned when she was out of earshot. "Am I the only one who thinks Daryl might be going about this the wrong way?"

"No," Andrea answered with emphasis. "I mentioned it to him actually."

"What did he say?"

"You know Daryl. Told me to mind my own damn business."

"That's what he told Rick too." Lori sighed and shook her head. "And they used to be so good together."

"I don't know." Andrea leaned against the desk. "I mean, I wasn't against their relationship or anything," she hurried on to explain when Lori looked surprised. "But she's so young. I guess I just thought it would run its course over time. And he coddled her so much…it wasn't good for either of them."

"You don't think it's good to have someone looking out for you?"

"Sure. Someone having your back is great, but he practically locked her in the compound and threw away the key. She's a capable girl…hell, a capable woman, but he doesn't seem to see it. She's skilled with a deadly weapon, which is more than most people brought into this, she's smart, agile…and yet he was so sure she couldn't survive without him that he barely bothered to look for her after Lucky died."

"I guess you're right," Lori answered slowly. "But she accepted that from him. Daryl was always the one in charge of that relationship."

"I think it was changing," Andrea pointed out. "Remember how she stood up for herself about Area 2?"

"That's a good point." Lori frowned in deep thought. "I think they might have been okay if they'd stayed together…but Songbird came back a whole lot more grownup than she was before. Daryl thinks that's one of her problems that needs to be fixed."

"When it's actually the only good thing to come out of this," Andrea finished.

"Hi," Songbird called, waving to Glenn and Maggie.

She'd made it out of the prison without running into Daryl, which was a relief. She wasn't sure he would have said that she couldn't ride with Glenn and Maggie, but she wasn't in the mood to take a chance either.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

"Not at all." Glenn gave her a smile. "Glad to see you out and about."

He considered Daryl a friend, so he hadn't said anything to him about how insane this whole "babysit Songbird" plan was, but he was glad to see indications that Daryl was loosening his grip on her.

"Champ will be glad to get some exercise," Maggie said a bit more practically.

Songbird mounted the horse adeptly and they started out.

"And I'm glad to have an experienced rider along," Maggie continued.

"Hey!" Glenn said in protest. "I'm hell on wheels! You never got to see me deliver pizza…you'd have been seriously impressed."

Maggie laughed. Songbird rode along in silence, simply enjoying the warmth of the sun and the breeze of very early autumn. It was fun listening to Glenn tease Maggie. They were a really cute couple and she was glad he'd found someone so good for him.

Eventually she even entered the conversation, resurrecting a bit of their old Star Trek debate. When she appealed to Maggie for an opinion she and Glenn were both shocked when Maggie said, "I never really got into sci-fi."

"What? How can you not be into it?" Glenn demanded.

"It's just so farfetched! And the acting usually isn't—"

"Please do not insult the work of William Shatner," Glenn groaned.

"Please! I don't need a pause after every word to understand that the Romulans are bad," Songbird cut in. "If you want to see real sci-fi acting chops there's Patrick Stewart as Captain Picard, or," she rushed on when Glenn opened his mouth, "Harrison Ford as Han Solo…"

"I've never seen Star Wars," Maggie said indifferently.

"You've never…" Glenn's voice sounded weak.

"How is that possible?" Songbird whispered.

Maggie laughed at their stricken faces.

"It's not the end of the world."

That struck all three of them as funny at the same moment and after several minutes of laughter Maggie wiped her eyes and said, "Okay, but not because I didn't watch Star Wars!"

"You never know!" Glenn teased, reaching out and ruffling her hair before spurring his horse into a trot.

Songbird let Maggie make chase so they could have some alone time. She turned Champ and looked over the scene in the yard. Dale stood on top of the RV; he waved when he saw her looking his way and she returned the friendly gesture. Emma was hanging laundry conspicuously close to where Freddy was sitting, sharpening a machete. She smiled slightly and shook her head. Emma was pretty damn cute.

Freddy waved and she rode over, saying a quick hello to Emma on the way.

"Having fun?" she asked.

"A blast," Freddy answered, giving her a smile.

"Want to take a ride?"

"Ride bitch?" he raised an eyebrow. "Not on your life."

She dismounted and gestured grandly. Freddy got on the horse and pulled her up behind him.

"I wanted to tell you something," he said after a few moments. "If I'm the reason you're sad…if it's that stuff I said to you on the road…I'm sorry. You could even punch me if you wanted to. But not the face. And not right this second."

Songbird laughed briefly and then shrugged. "It might have had something to do with it in the beginning," she admitted. "But I have no clue what my problem is right now. I'm tired all the time; I can't seem to do anything right…"

"According to who?" Freddy asked.

Before Songbird could brush the question off they heard and annoyed southern voice echo across the prison yard.

"Songbird!"

"Crap," she muttered.

Freddy felt all the tension return to her body and he sighed in frustration.

"What's the problem?"

"I didn't ask him if I could go for a ride," she explained.

"Yeah, I didn't either."

"Why should you—"

"Why should you?"

She was too confused to continue the conversation and anyway, by now Daryl had nearly reached them. She slid to the ground and Freddy followed.

"Hey Daryl," he said evenly.

After a grunt in Freddy's direction Daryl turned and focused an annoyed look on Songbird.

"Go back and finish what you're supposed to be doing," he said curtly.

He'd gone to get her for lunch and been told that she was gone. Gone, despite the fact that he'd told Lori and Andrea to keep an eye on her. Lori had said that she was out riding with Glenn and Maggie. He'd been less than thrilled about that, and then he'd come out and found her with Freddy. So she'd lied to them and, by extension, to him.

"Look," Freddy said catching Songbird's arm. "If it's me you've got a problem with why not come out and say it? She was riding with Glenn and Maggie at first. Don't punish her just because I said hello."

"First off, I don't pay enough attention to you to have a problem with you," Daryl lied. "And second, I ain't punishin' her. There's shit to do and she needs to be doin' it."

"So she never gets to take a break?"

"She ain't yours to worry about," Daryl snarled.

"She isn't yours either," Freddy shot back.

"What the fuck are you talkin' about?"

"She's her own damn person and you need to back the hell off."

Daryl stepped forward; Freddy met him. Songbird pushed between them.

"I'll go inside," she said. "Come with me Daryl."

She hated the smug look Daryl gave Freddy. She hated even more the disappointed look Freddy gave her. Her face felt like it was on fire and she kept her gaze down as she and Daryl walked inside.

"Go back to Lori and Andrea," he said. "I'll see at dinner."

"Where are you going?"

"There's still some Walkers roamin' around," he said. "Me and Shane are huntin'."

"Can't I be done for the day?" she asked, as a wave of exhaustion swept over her.

"Nope. Gotta keep on keepin' on," he informed her, drawing her close.

She leaned against him tiredly. As he held her she felt her body relax just a bit and she breathed in the scent of his skin. If he would just hold on for a little longer…he let her go and smacked her ass.

"See ya later darlin'."

He walked off up the hall and she stood there, frustrated nearly to the point of tears. She remembered Freddy's accusations of letting Daryl treat her like a child and she made a decision. She sprinted after him.

"Let me go with you!"

"To hunt Walkers?" he asked in surprise.

"Yeah. I've done it before you know," she tried for a confident look.

Daryl looked at her. God, she looked so young. It hadn't been good with her lately, but in moments like this he forgot all about it. She was his and she was back and he wasn't going to let her out of his sight ever again and that was that.

"I'd just be worried about you the whole time," he said. "I'd be dangerous for both of us."

"I understand that you'd be a little bit worried," she answered, trying to stay civil. "But I'm not exactly incompetent. I'm better with a knife than either of you and I took care of myself on the way here just fine."

He tilted her chin and looked into her eyes. She did look really tired.

"Maybe you should go and lay down for a while," he relented. "I'll be done soon and I'll come get you for dinner."

Her mouth dropped open when he walked away. Somehow it was worse that he hadn't even bothered to fight over it. Did he think she was that bad off? Hell, she was surprised that he hadn't said he was going to go and tuck her in! In irritation she didn't go take a nap; she went back and helped Andrea and Lori until dinner which she ate in silence, not that Daryl seemed to care.

After dinner she was relieved when he mentioned that he was going to get a shower. Finally, some time alone!

"Songbird?"

"What?" she snapped as she turned around. "Oh. It's you."

"Yeah," Freddy answered, undeterred by her annoyance. "Can I talk to you?"

"I guess so," she replied ungraciously. Songbird assumed that he was going to yell at her about the whole riding incident. She followed him onto the small fire escape nearby.

"Are you okay?" Freddy asked.

"That's what you called me out here for?" Songbird crossed her arms. "It's getting cold."

"Because you don't seem like you're okay," he responded, ignoring her complaint about the weather. Autumn had arrived, but this deep in the south it wouldn't be really cold for months longer, even after dark like it was now.

"How do I seem?"

"Just tell me whether or not you're okay," Freddy refused to be distracted.

"I already answered you," her voice had developed an edge.

"No you didn't. Why don't I just go ahead and do it for you? You aren't."

"That's not true."

"Come on Songbird. There's nobody here but you and me. Tell me the truth."

"I already have. Everything is fine."

"I don't believe you."

"You don't want to believe me."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

She shrugged, looking away.

"Maybe you're jealous."

"Jealous?" Freddy's voice dipped dangerously. "Of what exactly?"

She didn't answer. He stepped forward.

"Look at me."

She didn't.

"I said look at me."

She glanced up.

"I used to be jealous. You used to look at him like he was everything to you. You used to talk about nothing but him and when he was in the room it was like the two of you were alone and yeah, Songbird, I was jealous of that. Now the only thing I have to be jealous of is how you let him use you."

"Use me?" she cut in.

"Yeah. Or are you going to lie and say that you like it when he touches you? That you still feel the same way?"

"What Daryl and I do in bed is none of your business!" she started to walk inside but he blocked the door.

"You're right; it's not. It's just that I nearly died getting you back to him because it's what you said you wanted. If that's changed don't feel like you can't tell me. I won't hold it over your head."

"What do you mean "if that's changed"?" she asked, pushing him impatiently.

He stood like a rock.

"If you decide that it's time to go home," he answered, tilting her chin back so she was looking into his eyes.

Her lips parted, but she couldn't think of anything to say. Freddy was chipping at what she'd believed was a clever façade of calm. If he saw did everyone else? How had he known that she couldn't feel things the same way? When had he stepped so close?

"Freddy…"

"Songbird, if you don't take control of your own life then who will? You've done a good job these last few months…even though I've helped a lot. You made decisions, you stood on your own two feet, and no one treated you like a child! Doesn't it feel good?"

She wondered if he knew that his hands had moved. She'd felt them slide down her sides to rest on her hips and it awoke actual tingles of physical pleasure. It was a pleasure that had been sadly lacking with Daryl lately. She wasn't sure what to do with it now.

"I…I don't know," she admitted.

His hands tightened and he rocked her forward against him.

"I want you to be happy."

"I want to be happy Freddy…I just can't. I don't know what's wrong with me lately…"

His mouth found hers and she buried her fingers in his hair. He boosted her onto the railing behind them and groaned when she wrapped her legs around him. The pleasure that surged through her was so sudden that she started shaking.

"It's okay," Freddy reassured her. "I've got you."

"I know."

Confusion spiraled through her mind as satisfaction flowed through her body. She'd thought Daryl was the only one who could make her feel this way, but she'd been wrong. Freddy's hands were just as strong, his kisses just as passionate. With startling clarity she realized that Freddy and Daryl both loved her. She pulled back.

"Freddy," she had to stop and catch her breath.

"Don't," he caught the back of her neck and pulled her in for another kiss.

And another and another and another.

"God, oh God," she moaned, pushing back from him again. "I can't. I just can't."

He wanted to walk away, but she was shaking so hard all he could do was pull her against him, letting her rest her head on his chest while she caught her breath.

"Cheating on Daryl isn't the answer. I need to work this out myself. And I sound like a fucking Sweet Valley High book."

Freddy couldn't help his brief laugh, remembering Lucky's opinion of those books, considered appropriate reading by her mom in middle school, "Mary Sue bitches. Nobody's that good all the time."

Apparently some people were.

"Okay. But would you quit making this so hard for me?" he asked.

"To which "this" are you referring?"

He grinned in surprise when she looked up with the same teasing look he'd seen directed so often at Daryl and he smacked her on the ass appreciatively as she hopped down from the railing.

"See you later," she said as she walked in.

"I'll be here. Well, obviously not right here," he gestured to the small porch. "But, you know, around. Mostly in there…" he sighed. "Good night."

"Good night."

As she walked back to the cell she and Daryl shared she stared shaking again. What should she do? Could she manage to hide it from him? Maybe…but she knew that she shouldn't. She needed to be honest.

She pushed the door open with trembling hands.

"Was just about to come lookin' for you," Daryl said, frowning at her. The frown melted into concern when he saw her pale face. "You okay?"

He walked over and brushed her hair out of her face. Her skin felt chilly, but she was sweating.

"You gettin' sick?"

"I…Daryl…I have to…I have to…use the bathroom."

She'd pussied out, but in the end it was the truth. By the time she'd made it to the bathroom she was feeling genuinely ill. Her stomach twisted and she threw up. When it was over, she sat by the toilet with her arms wrapped around herself to stop the shaking. Cheating had serious side effects it seemed.

"You okay?" Daryl called.

"Yeah. Go on back."

"I'll wait for you."

"Damn it! I'm 19 years old! If I can't walk up a hall in a prison alone I'm pretty fucked wouldn't you say?" she snapped.

"Damn. Fine. Walk by your fuckin' self."

Daryl stomped out of the bathroom, trying not to be as pissed off as he was. How long was he going to have to deal with this? Where was the girl he remembered? The girl who told him stories and jokes and fucked him with some damn enthusiasm? When would this get straightened out?

"You all right man?"

To his surprise, the question came from Shane.

"Fine."

"Don't look like it to me," Shane answered. "Looks like you been having some problems with your girl."

"Fuck off."

Shane only laughed.

"Anyway, we ain't. I ain't. It's gonna be fine."

"Yeah, you never wanna believe it till it's too late," Shane said, shaking his head slowly. "I know you've noticed the way she lights up for Mackensie, the way she don't look at you like you're a God no more…"

"I said fuck off! Why do you care anyway?" Daryl asked, clenching his fists in his pockets.

"I'm just sayin'. I been on both sides of the equation man. Just consider it a public service announcement."

"What's going on?" Songbird asked, seeing Daryl's expression and Shane's smirk.

"We gotta talk," Daryl said flatly.


	60. Chapter 58

She followed Daryl into the cell and felt her stomach knot again. Had Shane seen? Had he ratted her out? She hated the way it made her feel to have to think that way. She'd have to tell Daryl; a flash of unexpected amusement went through her when she figured she was way to Catholic at heart to handle this much guilt and not confess.

"Daryl," she began determinedly the moment the cell door closed behind her. "I—"

"No, hang on," he cut in, determined not to be distracted by her pale face or the worry in her big blue eyes. "I'm gonna say what I gotta say and then you can talk. You ain't gonna see Freddy no more. You got that?"

"We hardly ever see each other now," she protested. It wasn't what she'd planned to say; it was more of a gut reaction. Annoyance pure and simple.

"And it ain't about to get better," Daryl reiterated. "I mean it Songbird. Hell, I don't even get what the fuck he's stickin' around for. He brought you back; why the hell don't he go home?"

"By himself? On foot? With the Walkers traveling in packs? It'd be a death sentence!"

"Yeah I reckon he shoulda thought about that before he—"

"Left everything he had behind just so he could help me find you?" she cut in.

"I don't think he coulda done much to keep you safe," Daryl argued. "He's a total idiot."

"He did! And he's not! Freddy's—"

"Look I don't need a goddamn rundown from you about him! I hear enough of that shit from Emma!"

Seriously, Freddy seemed to have a fucking fan club lately. Even Glenn hung out with Freddy more and more, and with Rick sticking so close to home and T gone, that left Daryl with Shane. And that apparently gave Shane reason to believe that he got input in Daryl's relationship. Prick bastard.

"Anyway," he heard Songbird say through his reverie. "Freddy deserves at least a thank you for what he's done for me. He and I…you don't know what we went through to get here!"

"And I don't give a damn neither! All I care about is that you're here now."

"How can you not give a damn?" she asked in frustration. "You thought I was dead! It should matter to you how it happened that I'm not!"

"You need to forget all that. It's over and done and carryin' it around with you's probably what's makin' you act so fuckin' crazy!"

"I am not acting crazy!" her voice wavered dangerously close to tears of pure rage.

"Look, ain't none of this the point anyway," he said, getting back on track.

"Then what is?"

"Freddy. Freddy fuckin' Mackensie."

"Even if I agreed, it'd be impossible to avoid Freddy!"

"The hell you mean "even if you agreed"? It ain't up for discussion."

"My life isn't up for discussion?" Tears spilled over and she swiped them away angrily.

"Goddamnit I hate arguin' with a woman!" Daryl yelled. "This part of your life ain't up for discussion and you might as well accept it!"

Before she could answer he stomped out of the room. Songbird covered her face with both hands and sobbed.

Songbird barely remembered going to bed, but she woke up alone in her bunk the next morning, her eyes basically glued shut from her marathon crying session last night. She sat up with a sigh and pushed the bed curtains back. She jumped when she found a huge, worried dog directly outside them.

"You scared me!" she informed him.

He laid his head in her lap, continuing his soulful gaze. She leaned over and kissed his head, then rubbed his ripped left ear.

"Now don't look like that," she soothed. "No matter how much Mommy and Daddy fight they'll always love you."

Michelangelo only looked at her steadily and she sighed.

"You're right. That joke may have been in bad taste."

Songbird patted the bed next to her and Michelangelo hopped up and rested his chin on her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him. A little while later she felt like she could face the day.

"Did you know that you're the best dog in the whole world?"

Michelangelo grinned and wagged his tail.

"Breakfast?" she asked.

He jumped down and headed for the cafeteria. She followed, gripping his collar loosely because Greg was still freaked out by him. Carol had made biscuits so Songbird took three, one for herself and two for the dog. Then she grabbed some eggs and thanked God for Herschel Greene and his chickens.

She sat down with her plate, tossed Michelangelo a biscuit and took a bite of egg. She noticed that Daryl wasn't in the room. Freddy was. He kept trying to catch her eye but she kept her gaze on her food. She had to talk to Daryl before she talked to Freddy. She had to know if he'd just been saying those things out of anger or if he actually meant them. One thing she did know for sure: she wasn't going to be Daryl's little girl anymore. It was equality or nothing. The prospect of nothing was somewhat terrifying, but not as awful as she imagined. There was a certain freedom in the thought that troubled her.

"Songbird?"

She glanced up in surprise. Brad hardly ever spoke to her.

"If you aren't busy later I'd like to talk with you."

"Um…sure…okay. I'm not doing anything that I know of."

He nodded and walked away, leaving her rattled and confused. Maybe she should ask Daryl…she shook her head in annoyance at herself. Maybe she should grow the hell up. It was so easy to fall back into the habit of asking for permission before she did things. Daryl was just going to have to…

Speak of (or in this case think of) the devil and he shows up, sleeveless and pissed off. Daryl had fallen asleep in the truck and now his neck was killing him. Songbird hadn't been in their bedroom when he got back to it and, unfair or not, he was mad at her for not being where he'd thought she'd be. And to top it all off, there was only one biscuit left and the eggs were cold.

He smacked his plate down beside Songbird and his irritation spiked a notch higher when she flinched. He noticed some of the others glancing his way. What the fuck? Did they think he spent his spare time beating her?

Songbird tossed Michelangelo the other biscuit, the one Daryl had been about to ask her if he could have, and the dog wolfed it down.

"Damn dog eats better'n I do," Daryl muttered.

Michelangelo looked hurt.

"He does not," Songbird replied evenly. "He didn't get any eggs."

"Eggs are cold."

"Then you should have been on time."

"You wanted me to be on time then you shoulda woke me up."

"You overestimate my concern over whether or not your breakfast is cold." Songbird ended the argument by standing up.

"And just where the hell you goin'?"

"For a run."

"I ain't goin' for no damn run."

"I didn't ask you."

"I'll go with you," Emma said timidly.

"I'll keep an eye on her," Shane said, smirking with amusement when Daryl and Brad both said okay.

Songbird clenched her jaw to keep her annoyance at being babysat by Shane from showing and walked out of the room. She took out most of her irritation on the run.

"Are you and Daryl okay?" Emma panted sometime later.

"With what?" Songbird asked, deliberately misunderstanding the question.

"It's the usual state of things, right?" Shane cut in.

"He yells at you all the time?" Emma's eyes went wide.

"Don't make it more than it is," Songbird replied shooting Shane a look.

Eventually Brad came out and asked Emma to watch her brother for a while. She agreed eagerly. She was exhausted but she hadn't wanted to admit it.

"Good run," Shane said, smacking Songbird on the back. "Might make you my running buddy. You're faster'n Rick." 

"Sure thing," she replied, walking over to Brad. "Want that talk now?"

"Yes," Brad answered, letting her walk in ahead of him.

Halfway down the hall they ran into Daryl.

"Have a good run?" he asked sarcastically, making it sound like no one in the world had ever had a good run.

"Yep."

"Where ya'll headed?"

"Brad wanted to talk to me."

Daryl followed them despite Songbird's annoyed look. He couldn't figure out what Brad would have to say to her.

Brad ushered them into his room and shut the door, looking nervous. He sat on the bunk on the left and gestured for them to take a seat on the right, facing him.

"I have to ask you some questions," he began after clearing his throat several times. "They might seem strange at first, but if you bear with me we can get all this straightened out."

Songbird didn't have the first clue what he was talking about, but he was obviously flipped out, so she nodded encouragingly

"You're 19 right?"

"Yes. I was born in July '93."

"In Ohio. In Xenia Ohio."

She winced a little and resisted the urge to say "What?" in response to her name as she nodded in response to his question.

"Where are your parents?"

"My mama died nine years ago…cancer. I never had a father." Had he gone pale?

"Is he dead?" Brad's voice sounded strange.

"By now, probably," she replied.

"Whatcha gettin' at Brad?" Daryl asked.

Brad didn't answer him; instead he took a deep breath and cut to the chase. "What's your last name?"

"Dixon," she and Daryl replied together.

"Maiden name," Brad said, a bit impatiently.

"She ain't got one," Daryl answered when Songbird didn't. "What's it to you?"

"What was your mother's name?"

Songbird didn't want to answer. Call her slow, but she was starting to have a bad feeling about this conversation.

"Catherine," she replied when Daryl nudged her. "Catherine McWhorter."

Yes, Brad was definitely paler now.

"I think…I'm sure…I'm your father."

Only Star Wars quotes came to mind, so she sat in silence.

"Her dad's name was Jack," Daryl said after a few moments of silence.

"That's what Catherine would have called me," Brad said. "My first name is John; my old friends called me Jack."

"So…what do you want from me?" Songbird asked. "My life story? Or do you just want me to listen to yours?"

"I'd like…I'd really like to get to know you," he said. "I want you to know that I did think about you…especially after Emma was born. I wasn't always a good person…"

"No shit," Daryl snorted. "You knocked up a fifteen year old kid and left your daughter to get raised by a circus."

Before Songbird could address the derision in Daryl's voice when he said circus, Brad rushed on.

"I left her enough money to get home. I thought you were in California being raised by Cath's rich parents…"

"They wouldn't take her back," Songbird informed him. "I wasn't supposed to know, but after I was born Papa Tony called them; he told them they had a beautiful healthy granddaughter. They said that wasn't possible because they didn't have kids. He never tried them again."

"So this Tony guy…was he your stepdad?"

"No. Mama never dated anyone else."

Brad winced.

"Songbird, I really never intended this to happen. If I'd known your mother would run off and join a circus…"

"You'd what?" For the first time cold edged out the shock in Songbird's voice. "You'd have rushed in and rescued me? You really think you could have done better?"

"No," Brad held up his hands and shook his head. "Please don't think that I'm insulting your mother. It's just that this isn't the life I tried to convince myself that you had."

"Sorry to have let you down," Songbird answered, moving to stand up.

Daryl put his hand on her thigh, keeping her in place as Brad started to speak.

"That's not what I mean either." He sighed deeply and rubbed his face with both hands. "I…like I said, I wasn't a good person back then. I guess…I guess, yeah, I want you to listen to my story and I'd love to hear yours."

She gave a stiff nod since Daryl was still basically holding her in place. Over the course of the tale she learned that, after leaving her mother in Ohio, Brad had met up with some friends in Florida, and basically stayed either drunk or high for the next few years. Then, in Georgia, he'd met a woman named Janice and fallen hard for her.

"I only freaked out about half as much when I found out she was pregnant with Emma," he said with a half smile. "And it was only after she was born that I really started to wonder about you. What you looked like, whether you were a boy or a girl…but I'd never told Janice about you or Cathy and I didn't know how to. I thought about trying to get in touch with the McWhorter's…but I was trying to live honestly…not that ignoring you was honest…." Brad sighed. "I haven't told Emma and Greg yet; I thought it would be better if you were there."

"I don't see why you would tell them," Songbird answered, standing determinedly in spite of the pressure Daryl put on her thigh. "As far as I'm concerned we're not family now anymore than we ever were before. Thanks for telling me and I'll see you later."

She didn't give him a chance to reply before she walked out. She walked up the hall, feeling her heart jackhammer in her chest as she tried desperately not to cry. If she could just get some time to herself to sort this out…

"Songbird!"

"Just give me some time Daryl," she said as she faced him.

She was surprised by the pleading tone in her voice. She was afraid of what the outcome might be if they fought again now.

"The hell if I will. You need to go back in there and face that man and work this shit out."

"I can't. I don't need…"

"I ain't puttin' up with no more of this mopey bullshit just 'cause you don't feel like dealin' with this." He knew he was madder than he should be, but he was damned if she was going to bottle this all out and take it out on him later in the form of silence and withdrawal.

"Mopey bullshit?" she crossed her arms and stared at him in disbelief. 

"Yeah. You walk around here whinin' and actin' like you're the only one that lost somebody. Carol's right; you got more goddamn luck than any of us and you don't even act like you care!"

"When were you talking to Carol about me? And what have I been whining about? I think I've done pretty well with losing everyone last year and then doing it again a few months ago! You're just going to have to deal with the fact that I might need some time to adjust to losing my whole family and my best friend—"

"Yeah, and you've got a whole new family right here now! A real one; there's people that ain't so lucky!" He thought of Merle. Not the best brother, but the only one he'd had and he was dead and six feet under. And Songbird had family croppin' up left and right.

"I had a real family!" she answered, hurt that Daryl would think that they were replaceable. "I _had_ a mother and father and sister and I don't need anything to replace that!"

"Fine, it's your damn family, not mine. And that don't explain why you been actin' like you have!" He was determined to get to the bottom of it and be done. He wanted his girl back the way she'd been.

"How do you expect me to act! You left me for dead!"

"Oh when are you gonna let that go?" Daryl demanded. "I'm sorry all right? I had every reason to think you were a goner!"

"What are you talking about? I'm capable of taking care of myself. I'm not a child!"

Daryl snorted wordlessly and she grabbed her hair with both hands to avoid hurting him.

"Why don't you believe me? I was smart enough to survive the beginning of this without you—"

"When I met you, you were nearly dead! What was the hard part? Knowing that you need to eat to live?" he asked in a sarcastic drawl.

"No, the hard part was not being born knowing how to hunt! I'd been looting food from stores, but I hadn't found one in a while and I'd just outrun a pack of Walkers! You met me on a bad day okay?"

When he didn't answer she went on to something that bothered her more.

"And you could have at least come looking for me!"

"I did! I went to the jail and they told me you hadn't been there for a month! That you left walkin' like a fuckin' idiot!"

"I left walking like a fucking idiot so I could find you!"

"Well that was stupid!"

"Finally, we agree on something."

"What the hell do you mean by that?"

"I mean I should have stayed at the compound where I belong!" she'd expected to dissolve into tears at this conversation, but she only felt determination. "I should have left you a memory like Freddy said."

"Too damn bad," Daryl snarled. "You're here and I ain't dead."

"That doesn't mean we have to keep doing this."

He looked so legitimately shocked that she wavered in her resolve. Maybe…maybe he'd just gotten carried away and they could work this out…

"And just how in the fuck do you reckon you're gonna make it without me?"

"Oh my God! I can't even believe that you would say that right now! I am perfectly capable of handling myself!"

"No you ain't! You're barely more than a kid!"

"So you really just plan to babysit me for the rest of our lives?" she asked in disbelief.

"Fuck no! I ain't got time for that bullshit," he shook his head. "You just learn to do every damn thing I say and I won't have to worry about you anymore." he hadn't ever meant to tell her that, but it was too late to take it back now. And what the hell did she think she was doing pretending to leave him? They both knew that wasn't actually going to happen.

"Oh my…you really think…that's it, Daryl. That's just…it."

"I let you walk away now and we both know you'll be back before the night's through," Daryl said brutally. "Hell, sweetheart you can't even sleep by yourself!"

She turned away from his derisive expression.

"Unless you're plannin' to run to Mackensie. He ain't the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm guessin' he's dumb enough to put up with you."

She spun back around. The sound of the slap took them both by surprise. Daryl took a step toward her as she clapped the hand that had left a handprint on his cheek over her own mouth. He'd never hit a woman, but she'd sure as fuck never hit him either.

"Hey guys! I was…"Glenn trailed off when he took in the scene. "Oh. I'm really sorry…"

Songbird turned and walked away. With a wordless snarl in Glenn's direction Daryl turned and walked the other way. As he walked he planned all the ways he was going to hold this over her head when she came crawling back. It was the only thing that kept the anger seething in his chest from erupting.

Songbird walked out onto the fire escape and tried desperately to catch her breath. It didn't seem to be happening. She wished she had a paper bag. She wasn't sure how that helped, but it was always the prescribed remedy for hysteria on TV.

Had Daryl always been so controlling? She would have noticed that right? She thought back to the arguments they'd in the past, of all them she'd won…none. Well, there was that last one, but she hadn't so much convinced him as he'd caved to peer pressure. And now rather than a partnership, he expected blind obedience? In addition to that being insulting, it was dangerous. It was dangerous for him to feel so much responsibility for her and it was even more dangerous for her to be so sheltered.

She thought back to Sophia's death. She wondered if the girl had been too sheltered at the compound. Sophia hadn't seen a Walker since they'd arrived there and then when they'd left she'd panicked and it had led to her death. Had all that safety been damaging? Would the same thing happen to her if she did what Daryl wanted? And if she leaned on him that much what would happen to her if something happened to him?

It was so easy to rely on someone else when you were desperate for a sense of safety. And maybe it was too easy to be attracted to a person like her if you were desperate for a sense of control.

Songbird gasped as their whole relationship snapped into sharp focus. Her childish desire for safety in a terrifying world and his need to control some aspect of that new world. God, that was disheartening.

She wrapped her arms around her knees, rested her forehead on them and cried for a while. Then she counted her breaths until she was calm enough to reach a decision. Once it was clear in her mind she stood up determinedly. She walked down the hall and opened the cell door.

"I wanted…I want…well…you." As always she wasn't as suave as she'd meant to be.

"Sure," he answered. "Whatcha need?"

She didn't answer; she just threw herself at him. She knew he'd catch her. Freddy always caught her.


	61. Chapter 59

"Mrumph," was all Freddy was capable of saying, since her mouth was covering his.

He was pretty caught up in the kiss by the time she pulled back and said, "What?"

"What?"

"You said something."

"Really?"

Songbird nodded.

"It does seem like something I'd do," he admitted. "Probably best if we just ignore it."

He put her down so he'd have his hands free; she leaned in and kissed every part of him she could reach. She liked the taste of his skin, something she'd been too wracked with guilt to notice the last time they'd been close to this.

"Did you just get out of the shower?" she asked, running her fingertips down his slightly damp chest, toward the button on his jeans.

"Yeah. Just got dressed and now you're undoing all my hard work."

"I'm sorry but it's not possible to have sex with jeans on," she replied with a smile as she stretched up, kissing along his jaw line.

"God," he groaned when she hit the sensitive spot just under his jaw. "And you're not going to change your mind?"

"No."

He wondered what had happened with Daryl and then he pushed the thought from his mind. He was about to have sex. What the hell was he thinking about Daryl for?

"You do want to do this don't you?" she asked awkwardly; he'd been still for several seconds.

"Yes! Yeah…I thought you knew to ignore the idiocy by now."

"Okay. How about if you kiss me some more? It seems to shut us both up."

"You're just full of good ideas."

He leaned down and kissed her, slowing down enough to really enjoy it this time. He liked the way she parted her lips for him; he loved the way she buried her fingers in his hair and tugged when she wanted more of him. Maybe it was actually going to happen this time.

She certainly seemed more into it; his jeans were already unzipped and her shirt was tossed to the floor. And they were still kissing. Freddy realized that in the heat of things he'd started kissing her harder and that he had her in a pretty tight grip. Girls had complained about that grip in the past so he relaxed and pulled back to let her catch her breath.

"Don't stop," she begged in disappointment.

"Really?"

At her nod, he yanked her against him and pulled her into another kiss the way he'd always wanted to kiss someone; he kissed her until he felt her gasp against his lips, until she arched her body against his, until she said the words he'd wanted to hear for a year, "Please Freddy…"

Songbird caught her breath when he scooped her up again and dropped her to the bed. They finished undressing in a fumble of hurried movements, both of them desperate for what was about to happen.

She hadn't felt this way in a while. She loved the way he kissed her with his hand at the back of her neck in a possessive gesture. She loved how tight he held her and the look in his eyes as she undressed. He was obviously pleased with what he saw and it gave her a small thrill to know that he thought she was sexy.

She thought he was _incredibly_ sexy. The muscles in his abdomen flexed with each breath and, as she discovered a few seconds later, he was very good with his hands. She didn't know why she was feeling so shy about it, but it took her a few seconds to return the favor. She pressed her face against the side of his neck as his fingers explored her and she wrapped her hand around him.

He groaned and she began to move a bit more confidently. Songbird didn't allow herself to make any comparisons, but she did acknowledge that she wasn't going to be disappointed.

Freddy pushed her backwards, taking care to keep her from smacking her head on his headboard and taking a moment to mentally pat himself on the back for remembering, and then they were skin to skin, breath to breath. There was a small unspoken shiver of nerves from both of them, and then Freddy pushed inside her.

After closing his eyes briefly and simply savoring the moment, he pulled back to look at her, to make sure she was okay. He hadn't realized how tense he was until he relaxed at the look on her face. Her dark eyes were heavy lidded with pleasure, her lip was caught between her teeth, and he felt her nails dig into his back as she moved against him. For the first time she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. He braced himself on his hands and pulled back, almost out, and then pushed deep.

Songbird hadn't really expected this to be this good; the preview in the van hadn't exactly been inspirational. She closed her eyes and gripped his arms, liking the tension in his muscles as he took her body.

"Don't," Freddy said.

"Don't what?" she looked at him in confusion.

"Don't close your eyes. I want to know that you're here with me."

She didn't understand for a second and then she realized what he meant. So he _had_ known the truth all those nights at the compound. She'd curled up with him and pretended he was Daryl to keep from losing it totally and he'd known all along. And he'd let her do it. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him down for a kiss.

"I'm with you Freddy. And I don't want to be anywhere else."

"Good," he answered, trying to disguise his relief. "Because you're going to be here for a while."

She wasn't surprised that he was able to stand behind the promise. Freddy Mackensie had some serious endurance.

"So," Freddy said a while later, drawing out the word.

"Mmmm?" Songbird murmured as she wrapped herself tighter around him.

"This thing…you and me…what do I call you now?"

"I may have forgotten my name for a few minutes but I don't think it changed," she answered with a smile.

"I mean…you know…Daryl called you darlin' and—"

"I don't want you to call me that," she cut in. "You and me aren't like that anyway."

"We aren't?"

"Well…did you want to be…that?"

Freddy shrugged and said, "Well, I guess I sort of thought…what did you think?"

"I'm not ready to belong to anyone but myself right now," she began.

"I think we're looking at this differently," Freddy cut in. "I don't want to…uh…"own" you. I just want to be with you and see what happens. I mean, this is the point where I'd take you to dinner and a movie if that stuff still existed. We can redefine in month or so…see where we both are."

"I like that," Songbird admitted. "So for right now, we're still friends. Just better friends than we used to be."

"Sure. Except now you have to make me sandwiches."

She laughed and poked him in the side.

"And you know…this whole sex and sandwich agreement would be easier if you kept your stuff…and yourself…in here."

"I see your point," she said casually, even though she was relieved that he'd asked. She really hadn't wanted a room of her own, and she certainly couldn't live with Daryl anymore. And thinking of Daryl…

"Freddy, I don't know what Daryl will say when he finds out…"

Freddy had a pretty good idea but he didn't want to stress her out, so he kept quiet.

"And I don't want to be mean about us doing…you know…this. So, please don't…"

"Hold it over his head? I won't," Freddy assured her. Daryl Dixon had never been his favorite person but he wouldn't want to be in that guy's shoes in the morning. "Does he know about you leaving him? I mean…"

"He knows. I told him it was over."

"And he said…"

Taking a deep breath she forced out the bare bones story of what Brad had told her and the fight she and Daryl had over it and everything else.

"Let's say today will go down as one of the top five worst days ever," she finished.

"That is an epically awful day," he admitted.

"Yeah. But at least it ended on a high note," she replied. "Thanks for that."

"Always at your service."

The next morning Songbird woke up early. She couldn't figure out why she felt so good for a moment and then she realized where she was. It was Freddy's arm around her…Freddy who she'd had awesome sex with the night before. For that brief moment she couldn't stop herself from smiling. Then she remembered yesterday's events. She and Daryl were through.

She sat up slowly and tried to figure out what she was feeling. There was guilt, there was depression, and there was even a bit of excitement, but none of it was overwhelming. She felt balanced. It was odd. Nice, no question, but strange to finally feel…grown up.

"I'm starving," Freddy muttered sleepily, cutting into her reverie as he watched her get dressed.

"Me too," she realized, even though she hadn't been till he mentioned it. "Cafeteria?"

"Yeah," he answered, stretching and sitting up.

"You know what Freddy?"

"What?"

She eyed him sitting there, blankets around his waist and his hair standing up, especially on the left side, as she finished the sentence, "You're a fairly sexy guy."

He grinned at her, relieved that she wasn't saying it had all been a mistake.

"You're not bad yourself. Are you sure you're hungry?"

"Positive. We can always come back here after breakfast."

"Okay," he said with a long suffering sigh. "It better be a great breakfast."

"I'm doing that too?" she teased as he got dressed and they headed down the hall.

"Yep. I realized that there's a bit of a sandwich shortage."

"I suppose that's only fair," she admitted with a smile. She knew he was just joking, but she also figured making him breakfast was a good place to start making things up to Freddy. He'd been incredibly good to her…and not just last night.

She started some eggs boiling and rummaged around until she had the ingredients for pancake batter. She was mixing and worrying about facing Daryl when she felt Freddy's arms slide around her waist.

"You're sexy when you cook," he explained when she raised an eyebrow. "You should have an apron."

"And one of those cute little dresses and a pair of pumps?"

"Nah. I'm thinking just the apron."

He kissed her and she turned in his arms to reach him better. It was different kissing him because he was so tall. Freddy took care of the problem by picking her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and eagerly took advantage of the distraction.

That is, until she heard a generalized gasp. She and Freddy broke apart and stared at the group gathered in the doorway. Daryl wasn't in it, but Brad, Emma, Greg, Rick, Carl, Dale, Andrea, Shane, Glenn, Herschel, and Maggie were. Dang.

"She's making pancakes," Freddy said.

"You must love pancakes," Maggie replied, eyeing Songbird's flushed face and the reminiscent curve of Freddy's smile.

"Who doesn't?" Andrea asked. "Do you need some help Songbird?"

"Um…sure."

Maggie stayed in the kitchen too after a long look from Glenn.

"Daryl and I aren't together anymore," Songbird said. "I'm not cheating on him."

Silence.

"Really? No one's surprised?"

"Not really," Andrea admitted uncomfortably. "We all sort of saw it coming."

"Did Daryl say anything to Glenn or Dale about it? Leaving me I mean?" Songbird asked hopefully. Maybe he'd been planning it too and then she could be mad in addition to being sad and guilty.

"No," Maggie said. "He just talked about how different you were and he got mad when Glenn said he liked you even better now."

"Glenn said that?" Songbird asked.

"Yeah. I don't know what you used to be like…"

"A lot like Emma," Andrea said, putting her arm around Songbird's shoulders and giving her a squeeze.

"Oh. Then I like you better now too," Maggie informed her with a smile. "One Emma is enough. You're burning that pancake by the way."

"Crap!" Songbird flipped it deftly and turned back to face them. "What do I do when I see Daryl? I've never…I've never done this before. He's going to be so mad at me."

"You did tell him it was over before you and Freddy…" Maggie asked.

"Yes! But that doesn't mean that he's going to be…understanding."

"If he says anything at breakfast just tell him you'll talk to him in private later," Maggie suggested.

"I'll try that," Songbird said. "I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm just freaked out."

She wasn't at all sure it would be fine. And she wasn't disappointed. It just didn't happen quite the way she'd thought it would.

Daryl woke up alone and that surprised him. He'd really expected her to be back before dawn. Of course she had been pretty furious with him…and maybe he'd been a little hard on her. He thought back to their conversation and the tears in her eyes…then he thought forward a little to her slapping him. He wasn't at all sure he'd deserved that, and it still pissed him off that she'd done it. What pissed him off more though was the fact that he wasn't sure what he would have done to her if Glenn hadn't come in. How had he gotten so angry with her? They didn't seem to be very good for each other anymore. That thought got him out of bed in a hurry. It was fine. It would be fine; he'd make sure of it.

He walked into the breakfast room to see Songbird sitting with Freddy, Maggie, and Glenn. Fuckin' perfect. He sat down at the empty seat between Shane and Emma.

"What?" he asked when Shane gave him a sidelong grin.

"Nothing…have you noticed how close they're sitting?"

No, he hadn't. Now, he did. Was Freddy's hand on her thigh? No, he was just petting the dog. Emma sniffled and distracted him.

"What's the matter with you?" he asked.

"Nothing," she replied defiantly, cutting into her pancake.

"Okay."

"But seriously," Shane persisted. "I heard a few bits and pieces of that conversation yesterday…"

"And?" Daryl smacked his fork down on the table.

"My condolences is all. It's hard to go back to being a single man."

"I ain't single! We just need…"

Emma smacked her fork down too and stood up.

"You betrayed me!"

"Um…what?" Songbird asked when Emma pointed at her with tears streaming down her face.

"You knew! You knew how I felt about him! And then you kissed him right in front of me!"

"Emma, I…" she glanced at Freddy who was staring at Emma in surprise.

"Kissed who?" Daryl asked.

"Freddy! She kissed Freddy…"

"You kissed Freddy?" Daryl bellowed.

"I…we…Daryl I'd rather talk to you in private…"

"She kissed Freddy?" he asked Emma. "When?"

"Yes! In the kitchen this morning!"

"Emma!" Songbird stood up. "I'd really rather…"

"What the fuck?" Daryl cut in.

"I…"

"I don't think that getting into this right now is a good idea," Rick said. "Daryl…"

Emma ran out of the room and Brad followed her with a long look Songbird's way. Songbird swallowed hard and looked at Freddy. He replied with a shrug. She hadn't wanted him to interfere and she needed to handle this herself. It was her breakup.

"You really kissed Freddy?" It was incomprehensible. "You…you…meant what you said?"

"Shouldn't we talk alone?" she asked twisting her fingers together.

"You can kiss him in a room full of people but you can't talk to me here and now?"

"I don't want to…in front of everybody!"

"I don't give a damn! You're gonna tell me and you're gonna tell me now!"

"Then yes," she said softly. "I meant what I said."

"You ungrateful bitch."

"Ungrateful?" she repeated, shocked, not by the venom in his tone but his choice of words. "What have you done for me lately?"

"What have I done for you lately? I did what the fuck you asked me to do! I been bustin' my ass keepin' you safe!"

"Safe from what? Or did you never think…" she bit her tongue. "I'm not getting into this in front of everyone."

"But you'll let him get into that in front of everyone?" Daryl gave a vague gesture at her lower half.

"You act like I was having sex with him on the counter! Daryl, I…"

"I wouldn't be surprised. How long has it been happenin'?"

"How long has what been happening?"

"You and him. You gonna sit there and lie to my goddamn face? You gonna sit there and say you ain't been fuckin' him this whole time you been gone?"

"I haven't!"

"So you're a liar _and_ a whore?"

"All right, I think you've said enough for right now," Freddy said, standing up. Letting Songbird handle things on her own was all well and good, but he'd be damned if Daryl was going to take it all out on her right here and now. "Everybody can understand why you're mad but…"

"Why the fuck should I believe anything you've got to say? You gonna tell me you ain't been tryin' to get her away from me this whole time? You think she _wanted_ you before she ran outta choices? Everybody knows you never coulda done it if I hadn't left!"

"Actually you made it really easy," Freddy countered. "If you'd kept your damn mouth shut I never would have had a chance."

Daryl shoved his chair back so hard that it fell over and walked around the table. Freddy stood too; maybe it was about time they had it out.

"Don't!" Songbird said, following them. "Rick! Shane! Do something! Freddy, you promised…"

Freddy stepped back just as Rick stepped between them. Shane put his hand on Daryl's shoulder, holding him back.

"I think it would be a good idea if everyone just took a breather," Rick said calmly.

"What the fuck you backin' down for?" Daryl asked, ignoring Rick. "Scared?"

"Of you?" Freddy eyed Daryl speculatively. "No."

"Daryl please…" Songbird started.

She'd known he'd be angry but she'd never expected this. He was looking at her like he hated her. In this moment he probably did. But she hadn't thought that he would think that she'd cheated on him all along.

"Shut the fuck up."

"Don't talk to her like that," Freddy said with steel in his voice.

"So you're gonna be her bitch?" Daryl snorted derisively. "That's cute. Hell, I know what she's like. You take care of her and there ain't _nothin'_ she won't do for you. I sure will miss that." He watched her face flush bright red and waited until he saw tears slide down her cheeks before he said, "But other than that, I was gettin' pretty goddamn tired of bein' her babysitter. Ya'll can have each other."

He walked out of the room and Songbird took a shaky breath.

"I'm…I'm really sorry. I was hoping you guys wouldn't have to…see that," she whispered to the room at large before she hurried out wiping tears from her cheeks.

Daryl went to the one place he knew he'd be alone. He stomped through the garage and yanked the door of his truck open. He scrubbed his hands down his face and tried to get a full breath. He couldn't. It felt like there was an elephant on his chest. Goddamn it. Goddamn it. Goddamn it.

She'd really left him. And she and Freddy…his stomach clenched and then twisted and he thought for a second that he was going to throw up. Freddy had…Freddy had…

"Goddamn it!" Daryl smacked his hand down on the steering wheel, desperate to convince himself that it didn't matter, that he was done with her. "I was done with her. I was over her. She fuckin' slapped me in the fuckin' face! Ungrateful little…" his throat closed on the words as he remembered the shocked, hurt look she'd given him when he'd called her a whore.

It contrasted sharply with his other memories of her, his memories of her smile, her laugh, the way she'd always looked up at him when she was underneath him…his stomach clenched again. God, he'd just wanted to keep her safe.

Daryl slammed the door of the truck and then cranked it. Fuck it all.

"Done with this place."


	62. Chapter 60

At least Freddy had listened when she'd said she wanted to alone. Songbird sat on the bunk she'd shared with Daryl and stared at the wall, trying not to think. Every time she thought about the conversation she wanted to cry. She got nervous when she heard the door scrape open, but it was just Rick.

"I'd been meaning to talk to you," he explained. "And I thought maybe you might like some help packing up."

"Sure," she replied, swinging her legs off the bed. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay. I knew you and Daryl were having problems…"

"Yeah. But it's not like those problems were your fault." She really tried not to ask the next question but it slipped out. "Does he really think I'm a whore?"

"I doubt it. You know Daryl. He flies off the handle, says things he doesn't mean. It nearly killed him to lose you."

"It nearly killed me too." Songbird wasn't in the mood to analyze the situation. "Look, I know it's none of my business but since you're in here…you and Lori…don't you ever think about Lucky?"

"I wondered when that would come up." Rick sat down on the bunk, twisting the strap of Songbird's backpack through his fingers. "I doubt you'll believe me…but I think about her every day. She died right in front of me." He'd never talked about this, but he forced the words out because Songbird deserved to know the truth about that day; she'd been there too. "She got bitten. She was distracted by that idiot with the bomb on the bridge and before she could turn around she was bitten. We were getting overwhelmed with Walkers so she…she's the one who set the fire that made the tanker explode. She went with it."

"An ordinary death would never have been good enough for her," Songbird said with a small, sad smile. "So she saved you and Daryl."

"Yes. And then…after that…it just reinforced what I already knew. You can lose anyone at any time. Carl's my son. That baby might be mine. Lori…she's my responsibility and when she said she wanted to make things work again…if I lost her I knew I'd regret saying no. So I said yes."

"You ready to carry this to my new room?" Songbird asked briskly. She figured what Rick had told her was hard enough for one day, and she understood completely. He nodded and stood up, shouldering her backpack and patting her shoulder.

"You're still a good person Songbird," he said when he stopped just outside Freddy's cell. "Don't let anyone tell you different."

"Thanks Rick."

Daryl drove through Herschel's old town at a fast clip. Glenn had mentioned…ah-ha. A bar. He parked the truck out front and jammed the ax handle down into his belt before slinging the crossbow over his shoulder and sliding the gun into the back of his waistband. The area looked pretty quiet and he got in easily enough. He checked the place out, found it clean and walked behind the counter. There was still a decent selection. He opened a bottle of whiskey to make it easier to ignore the part of him that just wanted to go back to the prison and make things right.

He was halfway through the bottle when he heard the doors open. Damn it. He grabbed the crossbow.

"Please don't shoot!"

"What the…how the fuck did you get here?" he demanded.

"Sometimes when I want to be alone I sit in your truck. It has the most comfortable bed!" Emma defended herself. "I didn't think you were…you know…leaving."

"Well I did."

"You're not going back?" She closed the doors behind her and stepped forward when he lowered the bow.

"No." He took another, longer drink.

"But everyone will miss you."

"Yeah and everyone can kiss my ass."

"What about…are you going to take me back?"

"Nope."

"You can't just leave me here!"

"Christ! If it ain't one of you it's the other!" He shouldn't have said that.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothin'. Ask your dad." Daryl took another drink. "Shit yeah I'll take you back. You think I'm gonna leave you here? What the fuck would I do with you anyway?"

"I don't know. Lots of weird stuff has been happening lately…"

"Weird ain't the half of it," he said with a snort. "My wife just left me for a red headed jackass."

"He's not a jackass!" Emma exclaimed. "I'm in love with him!"

"Ain't neither one of ya'll in love with him! You're…what…12?"

"I'm 15! And the point is that she's supposed to be my best friend and she knew how I feel about…"

"About a guy who's more'n ten years older'n you?"

"You're older than Songbird," Emma cut in. "And she betrayed you too. But we can make a plan! We can fix this!"

"A plan? What…"

"You still love her don't you?"

"You missed the last few hours? It don't mean—" another long burning swallow of whiskey, "one damn thing to her that I'm in love with her. It never did."

"It had to have meant something! She walked from Kansas to find you! You've just been kind of a jerk…"

"Look you're about the last person qualified to give me relationship advice," Daryl pointed at her a bit unsteadily. "I'm a little drunk. Missed most of breakfast. Probably shouldn't have drunk so fast." He rested his head in his hands.

"Can I taste?" she whispered, figuring she wouldn't get another chance anytime soon. Her dad didn't drink, and it wasn't like prisons kept a stock of alcohol.

"Sure," he said with a shrug; hell she wasn't his kid. "Come here. Not too much."

Emma walked closer and Daryl held the bottle out. She tilted it up and tasted, then made a face.

"It's disgusting."

"You don't know good."

"Please don't get drunk...drunker."

"You sound a lot like her, you know that? Look like her too. Except you ain't lookin' at me like you hate me."

He pushed her hair back and she looked so worried that he laughed.

"God, you think I'm hittin' on you. I might like 'em young, but underage is kinda my limit. I guess gettin' drunk ain't the best plan though. Neither's leavin'. Fuck that. If either of us goes it's gonna be her anyway."

He closed the whiskey bottle, jammed it into his hip pocket and started to usher her out when the bar doors opened again. He heard Emma draw her breath in sharply and he put his hand on her shoulder protectively as the two men entered the bar.

"Look what we've got here," one of them said. "Real live people."

"Yeah. We was just leavin'," Daryl said.

"Not a good idea. There's a pack of those fuckers headed this way," the first one said.

"Where you headed anyway?" the other, bigger man asked.

"To my truck," Daryl drawled.

"That your daughter?" the big guy continued.

"Yeah. Been nice seein' ya'll but…" 

"Now hold on. We haven't seen another living soul in a while. Let's sit down and talk. We aren't going to have much else to do for a bit."

"Only one thing ya'll need to know. I'm an anti-social son of a bitch and you ain't got nothin' to say to her. Enjoy your drinkin'," Daryl stepped forward.

"Daryl," Emma whispered when the two men stayed in front of the doors.

"It's all right," he answered in an undertone. "Ain't gonna let nothin' happen to you."

"You don't call him dad?" the bigger man said. "You don't have much respect for him do you, Red?"

"Or maybe she's not your daughter. I guess I can understand why you'd lie though," the skinnier man gave him a grin. "I can't tell you how long it's been since we've seen a woman that wasn't already someone's property."

"Life's a bitch," Daryl said, casually stepping in front of Emma. "Ya'll got a big group?"

"Oh yeah," the skinnier guy said. "You're welcome to join us…or maybe just her."

"We like travelin' alone. And she ain't goin' nowhere without me."

"All right all right, just calm down. My name's Tony by the way and this is Dave."

"Look, I don't know how to make it clearer that I don't give two shits who ya'll are. We're goin'," Daryl informed them. "Move."

"I don't think so. I know someone who'd be interested in you…both of you. Good entertainment value wouldn't you say?" Dave, the bigger guy said.

"I think I agree," Tony answered. "Might even be hell to pay for us if we didn't bring them back. You know he's always looking for new talent."

They both looked a little worried at the thought. Daryl wondered who they were so afraid of. Tony drew his gun, but he never got to use it; Daryl's reflexes were faster. Tony fell, a bullet lodged between his eyes.

"Daryl!" Emma screamed.

He spun, putting himself in front of her just in time for another bullet to take a piece out of his right arm. He dropped the gun.

"Goddamnit!"

Dave made one mistake; he glanced at his fallen friend before pulling the trigger again. Daryl used the moment to yank the axe from his belt, pray briefly, and throw. Emma's mouth fell open when it dropped the other man like a rock.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Fuck no I'm not okay!" Daryl answered, putting his hand over the bullet hole. Well, not really a hole…more like a trench. "We gotta get the fuck outta here before…"

Shuffling and growling. Uncoordinated pawing at the double doors of the bar.

"Christ. Get my axe."

The last thing Emma wanted to do was get his axe, but she did, pulling it out of Dave's head with all her strength. She started toward the door and Daryl yanked her back.

"Not that way, we're gonna have a fuckin' bottleneck right about…"

The doors burst open and Walkers headed their way.

"Come on, come on! There's another door in the back."

He pushed her in front of him because he knew it was the smell of blood that had them so worked up. Fortunately some of them had stopped had for Dave and Tony. Unfortunately his blood must smell amazing because a lot of them were getting close.

"Get the door," he ordered Emma. "Hurry up."

She did as he said but then she stopped so suddenly that he ran into her.

"What is it?" he asked, fighting sudden dizziness. "Go!"

"There's more of them!"

"Fuck yeah there's more of them! In case you ain't noticed kid, I'm standin' here marinatin' in my own damn blood! Get movin'!"

She took a deep breath and glanced back at him. He was pale as a ghost.

"You're losing a lot of blood. You're going to have to let me drive…"

"You ain't drivin' my truck! Anyway," he shoved her out. "It's a stick."

"So's the Subraru. I can do this, Daryl!"

He swung the axe again and jumped back as the Walker fell; he was very much aware of the huge open wound in his right bicep. One wrong move on his part and he'd be infected. Or wasn't he already? Rick had said that they all were…maybe as long as he didn't die he'd be okay. It wasn't much of a comfort, but it helped a little.

A Walker reached for Emma and got a bullet in the temple. Daryl fumbled in his pocket and threw her the keys.

"Run. You get there before I do…"

"I'm not leaving you!"

"Damn right you ain't! I was sayin' lock the doors and hang tight! Now go!"

Emma ran quickly, fighting the urge to duck at the sound of the shots Daryl fired to clear the way. She took the head off the Walker nearest the driver's side with the axe that she'd forgotten she was holding and opened the door, cranking the truck with trembling fingers. She heard Daryl bellow something wordless and her heart nearly stopped. She shifted into reverse and backed over several of the undead, twisting the wheel and stopping inches in front of him. She pushed the door open and he climbed in.

"What's wrong?" she gasped.

"What's right?"

"You yelled!"

"Oh. I was outta bullets. You'd make a hell of a wheel man," he said as she pulled away. "Well…you know…wheel girl. Shit. Don't go so fast. Actually, keep the speed, lose the jerky motions."

"You're losing…"

"A lot of blood. Yeah, I get it."

"Take your shirt off and wrap it around your arm."

"You ever meet a guy named Merle? Ya'll both like hasslin' me about blood loss."

He did as she said though and they were back at the prison soon.

As a matter of fact they were back just in time to meet the search party.

"Oh no!" Emma gasped. "They must have noticed that we were gone!"

"Did you think your old man _wouldn't_ notice?" Daryl asked incredulously as they got out.

Songbird saw Daryl lean unsteadily against the grill of his truck and her mouth dropped open when she saw blood oozing through the shirt he'd wrapped around his upper arm. He was spattered in Walker sludge and pale as a sheet. She tried to get closer, but Brad had pushed to the front to check on Emma and Carol had beaten Songbird to Daryl. She was shocked at the way Carol was looking at him. Maybe that explained why Carol seemed to hate her so much lately.

"What happened?" Carol asked. "Why did you leave?"

"I…" Daryl started, but he didn't get a chance to finish.

"How the hell did this happen?" Brad shouted as he turned from Emma to Daryl.

"Hey it wasn't my fault!" Daryl answered, too dizzy from whiskey, blood loss, and relief at being alive to watch what he was saying. "Your daughters have a thing for the bed of my truck I guess…"

Brad did something that no one expected, least of all Daryl. He punched Daryl square in the jaw and Daryl went out like a light. Even Brad looked surprised by that. Carol gasped. Freddy snorted and got an elbow in the ribs from Songbird. After a moment of confusion Shane and Rick carried Daryl inside so Herschel could stitch him up, and the rest followed leaving Brad, Emma, Songbird, and Freddy outside alone.

"What did he mean?" Emma asked in a tight voice. "Daddy? What did he mean?"

"I need to talk to you," Brad said tiredly, rubbing his scraped knuckles. "I wanted…"

"I asked him not to say anything," Songbird cut in surprising herself and Brad.

"You mean I'm related to you?" Emma gasped. "And you knew? God, Songbird! What's _wrong_ with you?"

Songbird shrugged helplessly. Emma stormed away and after a moment of silence, Songbird followed her.

"Look Emma…" she began.

"I've got nothing to say to you. I should be helping Herschel anyway. Patching up your husband shouldn't be my job…but I guess you're just as bad a wife as you are a friend and a sister!"

"All right that's enough!" Songbird grabbed Emma's shirt collar and spun her around. "Don't you dare tell me what I'm not good at! Do you know what I've been through for that man? Furthermore, my sister was eaten by Walkers in front of me right after my surrogate grandfather went the same way! My best friend set herself on _fire _to save Daryl and Rick's lives! Don't you for one second think that because you've got some childish crush on Freddy that you can talk to me like that!"

Emma's face flushed and her chin trembled and Songbird let her go.

"You're so fucking young Emma," she said, her voice shaking. "God, I hope you can hold onto that innocence."

She walked into the room and saw that Daryl was already awake.

"The hell you want?" he asked grumpily. Being stitched up hurt like hell.

"If you ever so much as step one _foot_ out of the prison yard with my little sister I will hunt you down and kick your ass into next week!" she hissed.

He didn't have time to get a response together before she turned and stomped out. He turned a dirty look on Herschel who chuckled under his breath.

"It ain't funny."

"I suppose it depends on your perspective," Herschel admitted.


	63. Chapter 61

Over the next few days Emma steadfastly refused to speak to Songbird, Greg started shadowing her for knife throwing lessons, and Brad made hopeful inquiries whenever she stopped long enough for him to start a conversation.

"Argh," she muttered one day when she only managed to avoid her suddenly non-absentee father by declaring that she had to pee. Of course Daryl was in the bathroom. 24 hours in a day and he had to pick this one to take a shower.

Things between them were _awful_. Even more awful than she could have imagined. He seemed to delight in pushing her buttons and bringing up things that he knew would bother her and he always, _always_ got the upper hand.

Daryl looked up from untying his boots when she walked in.

"Lookin' for somethin'?" he asked. "Or did you just miss seein' a real man around here?"

He'd caught her and Freddy going into the showers the night before and it still bothered him.

She rolled her eyes.

"If I wanted to see a real man, I'd be in the yard with Freddy." She saw his muscles get tense and she crossed her arms, going in for the kill, "Or I could go hang out with Glenn. Even he's got the edge over you. At least he manages to go places on his own without getting shot. And my dad hasn't beaten him up."

"Bradley did not beat me up," Daryl growled. "I was drunk! And bleedin'. Not that you give a damn."

"You wouldn't have been bleeding if you hadn't left like a crazy person. And I'm sure the drinking contributed to your slow reflexes…"

"Slow reflexes?" Daryl yelled. "My reflexes are the only thing that saved Emma!"

"Who wouldn't have been in danger if you hadn't done what you did!"

"I wouldn't have done what I did if you'd acted like you shoulda been actin'!"

"What?"

"You're my wife! You're supposed to give a damn about stuff like whether I live or die! And you ain't supposed to…" his voice went rough. "You ain't supposed to be with anybody but me at night."

There was that upper hand again. Songbird rubbed her hands over her face and sighed.

"Daryl I tried…" she began.

"You tried? You tried to stay with me and what…you just couldn't manage it?"

"Pretty much. You made it so much harder than it had to be! I'm not your little girl and I'm not going to let you coddle me to death either!"

"What the hell are you talkin' about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that you want me to be so helpless that I can't survive without you! Like Sophia! Like Lori and Carol! What was I supposed to do? What if I lost you? Did you ever stop to wonder how I'd take care of myself if I lost you?" Songbird demanded.

Daryl searched for words and couldn't find any. Songbird didn't wait; she just walked away.

"Well hell," he muttered to himself. Maybe she had a point after all. No. No way. He couldn't have been that bad…could he?

"Yeah. You got a little crazy," Rick confirmed half an hour later when Daryl tracked him down outside.

"Why the hell didn't you say somethin'?" Daryl asked.

"I did!" Rick replied indignantly. "And so did Andrea! And Freddy! And even Glenn hinted…"

"Okay! Damn." Daryl sat down and leaned his head against the building.

"So what are you going to do?" Rick asked.

"What is there to do? It's over."

"She can't have stopped loving you that fast," Rick pointed out. "Maybe you should…I don't know…be nice to her."

"Be nice to her?" Daryl repeated. "Look at her and smile when I know she spends every night fuckin' somebody who ain't me? Act like I'm fine with the fact that she left me? Jesus Rick what do you want me to do? Carry around a sign sayin' I think she's perfect?"

"Obviously not," Rick said with a sigh. "You'd look ridiculous. You shouldn't treat her so bad though," he continued when Daryl was silent. "We've got a group dynamic going here."

Daryl snorted, but he nodded.

"Easiest way to get along with her when I ain't…with…her is to avoid her," he said, ignoring how hollow that made him feel. "So don't get cute and arrange places for us to be at the same time."

"I won't," Rick sounded insulted. "It's your relationship to lose."

"You been walkin' around with your eyes closed? It's already gone. I got shit to do anyway," Daryl tried to make it sound casual, but his voice sounded forced so he walked away, annoyed with himself.

The next day Songbird gave Freddy a smile and asked, "So…whatcha doin'?"

"Shit," he muttered. "It was supposed to be a surprise. Fortunately for us both, I'm done."

"Thanks! What is it?"

"Come here."

She walked over and he looped the sheathes he'd stitched together for the machetes over her shoulders. It fit sort of like a backpack and once she got in front of a mirror, Songbird had to admit that it looked pretty badass. The sheathes weren't crossed the way swords often were when people wore them that way, instead they extended straight down her shoulder blades.

"You're much less likely to take off your own head if you draw straight over your shoulders," Freddy explained. "Sheathing them again will be easier too. And with the herds you need a closer range weapon. So I thought, you know, two weapons are always better than one."

"Really cool!" She gave him a hug. "Thanks Freddy!"

"You're welcome. Now you've got to learn to use them."

"Uh oh. You've got that look…"

"Yep. Time for training."

"Dang."

"Aw come on! You love training with me! Everybody does. Anyway, it'll be good exercise for us both."

"There are several things I enjoy doing with you that qualify as good exercise," Songbird teased.

"No…those qualify as excellent exercise," Freddy corrected. "And now that you mention it…"

He leaned in and kissed her. The thing he was discovering about Songbird was that, as much passion as she had when it was quick and rough, there was about ten times as much when he was slow and steady and he took the time to tease her. He'd decided to spend the day teasing her. He slid one hand down to her ass as he kissed her thoroughly but softly.

She buried her fingers in his hair and parted her lips eagerly, but he didn't pick up the pace. She felt her breathing speed up as his other hand started up her shirt.

"Hey awesome!" Greg's voice broke in. "Machetes!"

"I hate that kid," Songbird whispered as Freddy let her go. "Before you ask, yes. Yes, you and Carl can practice throwing in the gym while I work with Freddy."

"Thanks Songbird!" Greg went running off find Carl before she could change her mind.

"So he's taking this whole brother sister thing pretty well," Freddy commented. He tended to leave the subject alone, assuming that Songbird would talk about when she was ready to, but now seemed like a good time.

"That's because he thinks I'm cool," she answered without conceit.

"You can't blame him there. Circus performer, knife thrower, sexy woman…the last one is something I think by the way. It came out a little weird."

Songbird laughed and shook her head.

"You're so smooth, Freddy."

"You know you love it."

A few hours later, the third or fourth time she landed flat on her back on the hard gym floor, she was less amused. She just knew Emma was laughing at her. The gym had accumulated a bit of a crowd when Carl and Greg had reported their whereabouts. Lori and Andrea were watching the boys, Glenn and Maggie were shooting hoops with a basketball Glenn had found, and Emma was (supposedly) playing chess with Dale. Songbird knew she was only there because Freddy's shirt was off. She figured Daryl wasn't there for the same reason.

"Are you okay?" Freddy asked.

"Peachy." She took the hand he held out and got to her feet. "How about you let me go start supper?"

"How about one more round?"

"How about no sex tonight?"

"How about you have fun cooking and I join the basketball game?"

"I knew we could see eye to eye, Freddy."

"Hey." He spun her around and kissed her once more.

"Or we could wrestle some more," she suggested when the kiss ended.

"Oh, we're picking up after supper." He gave her a wink and walked over to Maggie and Glenn.

She walked down to the cafeteria in a pretty decent mood and started rummaging through the food that was left. Shane had killed two chickens that morning so she started cutting them up. There was plenty of time so she worked leisurely, not thinking about anything in particular. For the first time in a while she actually felt like singing and since she was in the room alone she picked an old favorite from a movie she'd watched over and over with her mom.

"A whole new world

A dazzling place I never knew

When I'm way up here, it's crystal clear

That now I'm in a whole new world with you."

She heard clapping when she was done and she turned around with a blush. It was Brad.

"I wondered how you got the nickname," he said. "I didn't expect you to sound so much like Cathy."

"I do?" she hadn't heard her mother sing in almost a decade. Brad looked like he remembered it better.

"Yes. Very much. And she loved that movie…it was actually where I took her for our first date."

"Huh." Songbird didn't know what to say to that.

"Need help?" Brad asked awkwardly.

Part of her wanted to say no, to tell him to fuck off. Another part of her recognized that what Rick had said was true. You never knew when you were going to lose someone.

"Sure. Can you cook?"

"Yes," Brad answered with relief. "I'm pretty handy with fried chicken actually."

She gave him a half smile and they started working. She winced when she reached for the pepper and he looked at her in concern.

"Oh," she said with a slight laugh. "Freddy's got a mean right."

"He hit you?" Brad stared at her.

"Yeah, but it's not…"

"Oh God," Brad dropped his face into his hands. "This is all my fault. First you marry a redneck and now you're with a guy who's leaving bruises on you."

Songbird laughed and patted Brad's shoulder as she said, "Hey, don't beat yourself up. Two out of three isn't bad."

"This isn't funny!"

"Yes it is. Freddy and I are training which means that I've left some bruises on him too. You can come watch after supper if it'll make you feel better. But…probably best if you don't try to hit Freddy. He's um…well, he won't be drunk."

"Yeah, I don't think Daryl's forgiven me for that yet," Brad admitted.

"Not his strong suit."

Daryl smelled fried chicken, but his appetite pretty much went down the drain when he stepped into the room. Songbird was at the table beside Freddy. To make matters worse, apparently she'd gotten Glenn, Maggie, Dale, Andrea and the damn dog in the "divorce."

He sat down beside Shane with a deep sigh.

"What's the matter with you?" Shane asked.

Daryl shrugged. She hadn't even looked at him. And what the hell did he care anyway? Carol stepped up.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Uh…no. Have a seat. I'm just gonna go get somethin' to eat."

"Take mine." Carol put her plate in front of Daryl and turned back to get more before he could stop her.

"Shut it," he ordered Shane before he took a bite of the chicken.

Emma sat down across from him with her chin in her hands.

"What's up kid?" Shane asked.

"My dad's going to make me hang out in the gym after we eat," she said.

"Thought you were already there," Daryl said.

"I was. But I lost the chess game. Are you going?"

"To the gym?" Daryl asked. "No. Why would I?"

"Because Freddy looks like me," Shane grinned. "And you look like…that."

"You don't look like Freddy," Emma said with absolute authority.

Daryl laughed when Shane's mouth dropped open a little bit and said, "I might drop by."

"Drop by where?" Carol asked as she sat down beside him.

"The gym. What're you up to after we get done eatin'?" Daryl asked.

"Nothing."

"You oughta go then."

"I will," she answered.

Emma glanced between them; her hopes for Daryl and Songbird's reconciliation suddenly looked dimmer. Maybe Daryl would get all protective of Songbird if Freddy knocked her down a few more times. She took a bite of chicken and sent up a silent prayer.

After supper Freddy pushed Songbird into their room.

"I thought we were going to the gym," she said.

"We are. In a while. It's better not to train on an empty stomach."

He pushed her against the wall and kissed her; he had to swat her hands away from his belt buckle twice before she pulled back. He smiled at the pout on her lips.

"What _are_ we doing here then?" she whispered.

"I just wanted you to myself for a few minutes. I had some stuff planned for the gym, but since everyone wanted to be social, I didn't get to do it."

His hand slid into her jeans and he gave her another smile when her body jerked against his hand.

"You were going to do this in the gym?" she questioned.

"Mmm-hmm," he slid two fingers inside her and bent his head, kissing her neck and down as he moved in a steady rhythm. "Are you telling me you wouldn't have liked it?"

"No," she gasped. "I…harder…"

"No."

She moaned in frustration and felt his lips curve against her skin as he moved his hand back up. He dragged his fingers over her stomach before pulling her against him for another kiss. This kiss left her breathless and desperate and it was over too soon.

"You're a terrible human being," she informed him when he smacked her on the butt and declared it was time to get back to work.

"Channel your frustration," he advised her. "We're practicing until you win."

Songbird went a tense when she saw Daryl in the room, but he barely even looked her way. She knew it should have been a relief, but it made her feel a little hollow. Even more hollow when she saw that Carol was sitting near him, giving him a smile.

"Okay," she said matter of factly. "Let's go."

Freddy swept her leg and she landed on her ass.

"Bastard."

He helped her up and they started again. And again. And again. About an hour later she was sick of it. People had given up even pretending to do anything other than watch them and she was tired of losing in front of the group. The next time Freddy started toward her, she dodged right and ran. She sort of relished the generalized intake of breath when she jumped and went straight up the rope Freddy had hung there for her a few days ago. Since she was under no illusions about Freddy's ability to climb, she looped the remainder of the rope around her left leg quickly, bringing it up with her as she climbed. She didn't look back until she was about a foot from the ceiling.

"How do you like me now?" she called down.

Freddy laughed and gave her a thumbs up. As always, Daryl had the urge to cover his eyes. His heart was pounding almost painfully. A quick glance Brad's way told him he wasn't the only one. That guy was as white as paper. Oh _God_. She was right. He did treat her like a kid.

He watched Brad's face rather than Songbird's descent, which from the winces Brad gave, must have been "artistic." Yeah, Brad had relaxed so it must be safe to look her way. Both of her feet were on the ground, a good sign. She was still holding the rope and she'd faced the crowd for a bow and a smile.

He wished she hadn't. His stomach tightened with something that wasn't white-hot rage or sickness at thinking about her with Freddy…this was one he hadn't felt for a while. Lust. The kind that you can't get away from, the kind that sends need through your whole body like lightning. He rubbed his stomach as if he could make the feeling go away. Too many fuckin' feelings lately…what the hell was wrong with him?

His whole body felt too hot suddenly and he could hear his heart pounding in his ears. Had he been too busy to want her like he used to? How could he have forgotten what it felt like to need her the way he needed air? Her eyes met his across the room and he wanted to say something, something that would make this better…he just didn't have any idea what to say.

Songbird turned to look at him when she felt him watching her, expecting to see the same look she'd seen in his eyes for the past few days there and feeling heat flood her body when it was a different one entirely. He was looking at her like the only thing keeping him from her was the room full of people. She hadn't seen that look in his eyes since the day they got separated. She turned away in confusion and when she looked back he was talking to Glenn and the look was gone.


	64. Chapter 62

A/N: I'm trying the numbers out in this chapter because someone mentioned that it's a little hard to tell when I'm shifting character's and I can see where they're coming from because my section breaks don't show up after I upload. So the numbers will hopefully help with that!

1.

"Hey I didn't know you played the guitar," Freddy said one afternoon when he and Songbird were in Maggie and Glenn's room.

"I don't really," Glenn replied with a shrug. "Dale looted it for me because I mentioned one time that I'd like to learn."

"Any luck?"

"Nope."

"Here." Freddy reached out and strummed it briefly, and then began to tune the guitar with quick, confident movements.

"You play the guitar?" Songbird asked in surprise as she glanced over her shoulder. Emma had consented to be in the same room with her that day and she wasn't surprised at the look on her face. If this had been anime the girl would have had a nosebleed on the spot.

"Sort of," he answered with a smile. "Want to join me in a duet?"

"Nah. I've been carrying your singing career this whole time. Why don't you see if you can wow them on your own?" Songbird teased.

"Cold. But fine. People are going to be following me around all like…"Sing for us Freddy!" and I'll be all like…"Okay." and you'll be all…"

"Jealous and needy. Yeah. Yeah. Go on." She finished with a laugh and he began to play.

"Hey there Delilah what's it like in New York City?

I'm a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty—yes you do

Times Square can't shine as bright as you

I swear it's true."

Songbird glanced at Emma and had the strong urge to burst into laughter. Emma looked like she was front row at the best concert in the world. Freddy was good, sure, but he wasn't exactly The Beatles…not that a person could tell from Emma's expression. It was cute.

It was too bad Emma and Freddy had such an age difference, Songbird thought as she watched her watching him. They'd be adorable together. Huh. That was unexpected. Shouldn't she be a bit more possessive of the guy she spent every night with?

2.

"Freddy?" Songbird asked later that night.

"Yeah?" Freddy asked lazily, pushing Songbird's sweaty hair out of her eyes and eyeing her flushed face with satisfaction.

"Have you ever done this before?"

"Okay that would have been insulting enough if it had been our first time," he informed her. "But we've had sex at least…"

"No," she cut in with a laugh. "I mean friends with benefits."

"Oh. Yeah. It's pretty much how I roll."

"Really?" Songbird propped herself onto her elbow and looked down at him. "I have to say…I didn't expect you to be that type of guy."

"Yep. Well, I guess I wouldn't say it's what I always wanted…but it's how it usually worked out."

"Aw," she leaned down and brushed a kiss over his lips and his hand cupped behind her neck. "But you're so good at this."

"I've gotten better," he admitted honestly. "And you're just so damn willing to let me practice."

"So…" she twirled her hair around one finger. "Who else let you practice?"

"A few girls in high school. One nighters mostly. And a girl named Lydia before the whole apocalypse. She and I had a steady sort of thing going for almost a year…"

"A year?" Songbird repeated. "That sounds serious."

"No. No not really. She and I were sort of looking for the same thing and it wasn't each other. At least not like that. What about you? Anybody I should know about?" he asked with a grin.

"Just the one you already do."

"I thought circus girls were…"

"Watch it."

He grinned and said, "Let's just say that, in my head, there's you and a contortionist…"

"My sister was the contortionist."

"Ah," Freddy shook his head. "Okay, so the fantasy needs some work."

"Just a little," Songbird lay down in the circle of Freddy's arms and drifted off to sleep.

3.

"So…Brad," Songbird said several days later when he wandered in during her practice.

"What is it?" he asked eagerly.

"Why are you stalking me?" she asked bluntly.

He sighed.

"I just want to get to know you, like I said before. You're my daughter and I'd like to…know you." 

"You live with me. Observation should teach you most of what you need to know."

Her next throw was so far off the mark that she sighed in disgust.

"Why don't you tell me about you?" she suggested.

"What do you want to know?" he asked. "Ask me anything you want."

"Why'd you sleep with my mom when she was only 15?"

Brad cleared his throat and looked down.

"That was what I was waiting for. The fact is…I really didn't know she was that young. I met her when she was at work and…I knew she was young but not _that _young. She didn't tell me her age until…after."

"Did you ever love her?" Songbird ran her finger lightly down the edge of her knife as she asked.

Brad sighed and was halfway through a nod before he made a face and said, "I'm going to be honest. I didn't know her well enough to love her."

"That's too bad. She was pretty great."

"Why don't you tell me about her?"

"I guess I could do that," Songbird agreed. "Mama was the fortune teller for the circus…"

4.

Daryl sat with his back against the concrete wall, looking down the shaft of the bolt he was fashioning. Pretty damn good. He heard someone step up beside him and sit down.

"Hey," he said after a moment of silence.

"Hey," Carol replied. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Nah. Pretty much a one man operation," he said.

She nodded and they fell into silence again. Daryl wondered what was going on with Carol. He'd done his level best to make sure she was clear on the fact that there wasn't ever going to be anything between them the last time, but she sure did hang around a lot.

He wasn't going to say it out loud, but he didn't want anybody right now. He'd spent more of his life single than involved and he was alright with a good long period of time to get over Songbird. Hell, it'd taken two years and an apocalypse to get over Deena and he hadn't loved her nearly as much.

Carol said something and he turned to her.

"What?"

"I said there's a lot of Walkers around the fences," she said.

"Yeah. The outer gate got left open the last time Rick went out," he said. "Somebody needs to get in there and clean it out."

"Why?"

"I like to keep those fuckers as distant as I can," he said with a shrug.

She nodded quietly and he went back to his bolts. She wrapped her arms around her knees and just stayed beside him. He had to admit that the company was kind of nice.

5.

"You're doing really well," Freddy complimented Songbird after about a month of good solid training.

"Thanks," she replied. "So are you by the way."

She'd insisted that he allow her to teach him to throw knives. It wasn't a stretch for him, but he could tell it made her feel that their partnership was a little more equal. It made him feel a little weird to say that what they had was a partnership…but there it was.

It had never materialized into the relationship he'd thought he wanted, and he was surprised to be okay with that. Well…mostly okay with it. Freddy was terrified that Songbird was in love with him.

He knew she hadn't left Daryl for him specifically, but he'd been the first one she'd turned to and he had said that he thought he was in love with her…and he did love her…he just wasn't _in_ love with her.

He knew he needed to talk to her, but he hated awkward conversations. What he needed to say could be the king of awkward conversation starters.

"So where you headed after this?" he asked as she finished stretching.

"I'm hanging out with Glenn," she answered. "We thought we'd do some exploring. You?"

"Thought I'd go for a ride," he replied. "Have fun."

"You too," she stretched on tiptoes and gave him a kiss before walking out.

6.

"Wow!" Songbird said in excitement as Glenn held the black riot gear he'd found in the closet out. "That's awesome!"

"Right?" Glenn said with a grin. "Think Maggie'll like it?"

"She'll jump your bones so fast," Songbird agreed. "Do you think any of it would fit me?"

"Let's see."

Glenn started digging through the outfits and eventually handed her the smallest one he found.

"Turn around," she ordered.

He executed a crisp turn and she stripped quickly. The riot gear fit nicely actually, prompting her to wonder what kind of badass female guards they'd employed here. It was black and tight and bullet proof (and therefore bite proof) and there was even a helmet. She turned while Glenn dressed and smiled when he pulled his helmet on and gave her the Darth Vader impersonation she'd been waiting for.

"Let's go show off!" Glenn said enthusiastically.

"Let's take the helmets off so we don't scare people," she suggested more practically.

"Good point."

They walked up the hall with swagger, helmets under their arms, chins held high.

"It's like Dragnet," Glenn said under his breath.

Songbird laughed.

"Whoa!" Carl exclaimed when he saw them. "Where'd you get that?"

"Closet," Glenn said. "Have you seen Maggie?"

"She's outside."

They made a pretty grand entrance all in all.

"Looks like it's just the stuff to wear to clean out the fences," Andrea commented.

"That's true," Songbird acknowledged.

"I don't really want you going in there," Maggie said worriedly to Glenn.

"Aw Mags, it's bullet proof. I really doubt that a Walker could chew through it," Glenn said.

"So there's more of it?" Rick asked.

"Yeah. There's probably enough to go around," Songbird answered.

Everyone headed for the closet and in the end, Rick, Shane, Daryl, Andrea, and Freddy were all outfitted and a trip between the fences was planned for the next morning.

"We sure so many people should be going?" Shane asked. "Friendly fire mean anything to ya'll?"

"I didn't think we'd be usin' guns," Daryl argued. "Close quarters like that, bite proof clothes. Take an axe an' get it done."

Rick nodded and looked at Lori as he said, "You okay with this?"

Lori only shrugged and went back to stitching the baby gown she'd managed to put together. Sewing without a pattern was a bitch. Songbird stayed in the room with her after everyone else left and picked up her own baby gown. She'd seen Lori's slow progress and decided to be as helpful as possible. Her pregnancy was really showing and at this rate the baby wouldn't have anything to wear.

"Thanks Songbird," Lori said tiredly.

"You're welcome. I guess you're worried about Rick…" Songbird began.

"No," Lori cut in. "He's done so many things like this…I can't worry anymore. Maybe I did in the beginning, but he always comes back. What's the point of worrying about him?"

Songbird didn't know what to say to that so she stitched in silence for a while.

"Lori?" she asked abruptly. "Are you still in love with Shane?"

"_What_?"

"I'm sorry. I know it's none of my business. I just…sorry."

Lori nodded and they went on sewing in total silence. Eventually Lori left, but Songbird stayed where she was. Freddy didn't come looking for her. There was freedom in that, but it was disconcerting too. Didn't he care? What if she was being eaten right now? She drew her knees to her chest and tried to think but she was too confused.

Freddy gave her all the freedom she wanted. Daryl never gave her space to breathe. She wanted space. She wanted control. She wanted…to think less. Maybe she was losing her mind. The first weeks apart from Daryl had been full of anger toward him and sex with Freddy and maybe they'd needed that time apart.

He hadn't said she couldn't go in between the fences to exterminate the Walkers. Maybe he realized she was grown up. Or maybe he just didn't care anymore. She'd seen him and Carol together…and who was she to be upset if he had moved on? She was sleeping with someone else. Did Daryl feel as sick about that as she felt about him doing with Carol what he'd done with her? Probably. It was hard to tell because other than that night in the gym, she hadn't seen him look at her with anything but vague annoyance.

The door opened and Dale looked in.

"Oh," he said. "I was looking for Andrea…are you all right?"

"I don't know," Songbird answered as she picked at her bootlaces. "I might be going crazy."

"You seem pretty calm about the prospect," Dale said with a small smile as he walked in and sat down across from her.

"Not really. I'm just trying not to act so immature," she informed him.

"Emotions aren't immature. They're human," Dale corrected. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know," she said again. "I don't know how to explain it."

Dale waited patiently and eventually she sighed.

"I think I was wrong."

"About…"

"Freddy," she whispered. "I mean…not totally…maybe…but maybe it's too fast…and now it's too late to take it back…and I hurt Daryl so much. And I don't think I can fix it."

"That's not true," Dale said. "You just need to talk to each other."

"Daryl never listened to me before," Songbird said with a humorless laugh. "Why would he start now that I'm sleeping with someone else?"

"Rick listened to Lori," Dale pointed out. "And I listened to Andrea."

"Andrea?" Songbird was confused, but Dale waved the question away.

"The point is that you should tell him how you feel. I don't think the two of you have had a real conversation since you came back."

"Conversation isn't really our thing," Songbird admitted. "And…I'm scared to try."

"Things done well and with a care exempt themselves from fear."

"Don't use Shakespeare against me!" she said dramatically. "Although…props for remembering my one true weakness. So you really don't think I'm crazy?"

"No," Dale answered with absolute certainty. "And I'm not saying you have to go back to Daryl. I'm just saying that until the situation is resolved it's going to hurt both of you."

She nodded thoughtfully and stood up.

"I think I heard Andrea saying that she was going horseback riding," Songbird said.

"Ah. Thank you." Dale stood too, putting his book into his back pocket. "I'll just wait in the garage."

"Dale?" She waited until he'd turned to face her and then she gave him a hug. "Thanks."

7.

Songbird adjusted her knife sheathes nervously as they waited for everyone to get ready that morning.

"You're going to be fine," Freddy said bracingly.

Daryl checked the edge of his axe and then helped Rick and Shane push the gates open. Walkers instantly headed their way.

"Spread out!" Rick ordered.

Songbird took a deep breath and let the six knives she'd put between her fingers fly quickly. Six Walkers dropped before she drew her machetes.

"Good job!" Rick called, his voice muffled by the helmet.

"Thanks!"

"Pay attention!" Daryl yelled.

She rolled her eyes, even though she knew he was right. Shane, Freddy, and Andrea had closed the outer gates and now it was simply a matter of taking on the hundred or so Walkers that had wandered in. There had been another herd last night, it seemed. She made a mental note of where the Walkers with her knives had fallen and then headed into the slaughter.

Daryl thought that the suits made things easy; he hoped they didn't make things so easy that people let their guard down too much. It was exhausting work and halfway done he was wishing for his crossbow because his arm was so tired. He yanked the axe free as he kicked the small body of a particularly tenacious Walker backwards. He felt teeth clamp down on his other arm and his heart nearly stopped before he realized that the teeth weren't breaking the material…or his skin. He saw a small silver flash out of the corner of his eye and the Walker slumped to the ground, one of Songbird's knives buried in its eye socket.

"Are you okay?" she asked, grabbing his arm and running her gloved fingers down it before she thought better of it.

"Yeah," he answered. "It didn't break through."

"Okay." She took a deep breath to calm her thudding heart and stepped back.

Daryl would have killed to see her face, but the helmet prevented it. Had she been that worried? Her voice had sounded shaky, but it was hard to tell with both of them wearing helmets. He tried to put it out of his mind, but he dwelt on it the rest of the time they were out there.

Several hours later, when they were sure every Walker was toast; Songbird stepped back through the gates and slumped down with her back to the fence. Michelangelo came up and put his head in her lap as she pulled her helmet and gloves off.

"I know you were worried," she said, patting his head. "And I know how awesome you are, but you don't have body armor and I'm not going to risk losing you again."

He snorted.

"I'm just trying to keep you safe," she protested. "And it isn't as if you don't have stuff to do in here. There's Carl to play with and Greg to terrify…horses to run with and chickens to…well, terrify." He cast her a baleful look and she sighed and said, "I'm sorry, but I've got to do what I've got to do. You're mine and I've got to make sure you survive this thing whether you like my methods or not."

"Don't none of that sound familiar to you?" Daryl couldn't resist asking as he took a drink of the water Carol had handed him.

She blushed; she hadn't known he was there. Then she realized what he was saying and anger shot through her.

"You're comparing our relationship to owning a dog?" she asked in a clipped tone.

"Not exactly." Daryl felt that she had misunderstood him on purpose and it was irritating. "You know what the fuck I mean."

"No I don't. How would I? You never talk to me."

"Why the hell should I when you act like this?" he snarled before walking away.

Well. Clearly now was not the time to implement Dale's advice. Freddy sat down beside her and handed her a bottle of water.

"Maggie sure seems happy that Glenn isn't a goner," he said with a grin.

Maggie had thrown herself at Glenn the minute he came back in and Songbird didn't think she'd let him up for air yet. It was better than the tense confrontation taking place on the other side of the yard. Loir had her hands on her hips as she and Rick spoke, both gesturing to Carl who was standing there staring at his feet. From the looks of things he hadn't obeyed his parents orders to stay inside, instead watching the slaughter of the Walkers.

"They're so cute," she said wistfully, choosing the more attractive of the two scenarios taking place. "Oh and look…your little fangirl is on her way."

"Maybe she's here to see you. You're her sister."

"Yeah, but we ignore that. Here it comes…one…two…"

"Hi Freddy," Emma said.

"Hey Emma. Have a seat. Have some water. Tell us how epic we were in there," Freddy suggested with a smile.

Emma did all three, gushing until Songbird had to stifle a laugh.

"Sorry. Must be allergies," Songbird said insincerely. "I'm going to go change."

"Need help?" Freddy asked.

"I'm good," she replied. "See you guys later."

8.

Songbird started having weird dreams in the days after that. She couldn't remember them, but she always woke up gasping with Freddy's arms around her. That night she was almost afraid to go to sleep.

"What are you thinking about?" Freddy asked, pushing her hair back and looking down into her eyes.

"Nothing. I'm just tired."

Freddy didn't press her for information and she felt confused, the same way she did when he allowed her into situations that could kill her, or let her spend a day alone. She felt strangely bereft, slightly adrift.

"Put your arms around me," she said after a moment. When he did, pulling her into a close embrace and giving her a kiss on the hair, she said, "Good night Freddy."

"'Night Songbird."

_ Songbird lay with her head in Daryl's lap, feeling his fingers twine through her hair. The landscape was bright and green and quiet and safe. There were some kind of vines to their left and she thought they were grapes, but she didn't really care all that much about botany at the moment._

_ He traced her lips with one finger and she sat up and kissed him, feeling him groan against her mouth as the kiss took on the intensity their kisses always shared. Daryl's grip got stronger as he turned her head so she was forced to meet his mouth the way he wanted her to. His fingers, buried in her hair, twisted, tugged, pulled, yanked, until she gasped in pain._

_ When she pulled back she saw that the vines had crawled over the grass toward them and they were tangled in her hair. She tried to scramble back, but Daryl held her still, covering her mouth again, pulling her against him, allowing the vines to overtake her as she fought in a mix of fear and desire. His hands relinquished her so quickly that she lost her balance and tumbled backward._

_ They weren't grapevines; the vines were covered in thorns that cut her hands and arms when she reached for him._

_ "Don't," he ordered. "You'll hurt yourself."_

_ "What…Daryl what's happening?"_

_ "I have to keep you safe," he said as if this was the normal way to go about it. He reached through and took her hand, raising her fingers to his lips in spite of the blood that stained her palms now._

_ "I am safe! I'm with you!"_

_ "Now you're safer. I can't do it all by myself darlin'. You be a good girl and stay here."_

_ "Where will you be?"_

_ "Out here."_

_ "Away from me? Forever?"_

_ "If that's what it takes."_

_ "No! I want you! I want you with me! What's the point of being safe if I can't have you?"_

_ When he didn't answer her, she gripped the vines and ordered herself to ignore the pain as she tried to pull them down or apart…anything to force her way out._

_ "Stop that!" Daryl said. "You gotta listen to me. You gotta be safe—"_

_ She flung herself at the green walls of her cage and gasped at the sudden sharp agony that pierced her stomach. When she looked down she saw one of the longer thorns buried deep in her stomach. She met Daryl's eyes; he looked furious._

_ "You never listen!" he yelled at her. "All you had to do was stay there! You were safe and now—"_

_ He watched as she sank to her knees._

_ "Now I've lost you again."_

_ He turned and walked away, down the hill._

_ "Daryl! Daryl, come back! Daryl! Please!"_

"Songbird! Songbird wake up!" Freddy said as he shook her.

"Oh," she inhaled deeply and wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?"

"Just a little," he said. "Are you crying?"

"Just a little."


	65. Chapter 63

The next morning Daryl sat at the table picking at his breakfast. Stale cereal and an egg. He hoped his stomach would hold it all. When lunch came around it was just as skimpy he'd had enough.

"That's it," he said to no one in particular. "I'm goin' huntin'."

"I want to go too."

Songbird was interested to see at all the different reactions to her statement. Daryl swallowed wrong and turned sort of red, Freddy's eyebrows went up, Emma's whole face went sunnier than Songbird had seen it in a while, and Carol gave her a quick second look.

"Huh?" Daryl asked brilliantly.

"I'd like to go. I could use some more practice with the bow. And you know I'm good; you taught me yourself." She kept her voice level and tried to act like there was no reason anyone should find her request odd.

The fact was that after last night's dream she was determined to take Dale's advice and just work this whole thing out. She'd been trying to figure something out all morning. And she hated to waste time.

"I…I'm probably leavin' right after I eat," Daryl hedged. "You probably won't have your shit together…"

She shrugged and went back to eating. He took a deep breath to calm his heart, which suddenly felt like a jackhammer. What the hell was that about?

In his room Daryl gathered his hunting supplies and walked down to the truck. He couldn't help feeling like a pussy over how relieved he was that Songbird had given up so easily. What was wrong with him anyway? He should relish the thought of being alone with her…to make her feel like shit over what she'd done and the fact that obviously she wanted to come crawling back like he'd said…but he'd actually been nervous about the prospect of a hunting trip for just the two of them.

It was way better that she wasn't going. It would give him time to think, to figure what he wanted from her…to somehow gain the upper hand he'd always had in their relationship He stopped in his tracks when he saw her leaning against the fender of his truck.

She was dressed in her riot gear and her military boots and she had her throwing knives strapped to her wrists and ankles and a bow slung across her chest. She gave him a wave.

"I managed to get it together," Songbird said. "Emma's going to watch Michelangelo for me."

"Yeah, but…I…"

She wondered if he knew how confused he looked. The wary and alarmed look on his face made her want to smile, but she managed not to.

"I packed us some stuff to eat," she said into the silence. "I wasn't sure how long you wanted to be gone."

"I ain't sure either," he admitted. "All right. If you're goin' get in the fuckin' truck."

She did and he stowed his hunting gear in the bed of the truck, noticing that her sleeping bag, machetes, and the aforementioned food were already loaded up. She'd been pretty damn confident that she'd get to go. The assumption was annoying even though she'd obviously been right. He gritted his teeth and shoved the truck in gear. Shane and Axle opened the gate and they were on the road.

The silence between them expanded until the weight of it threatened to crush Songbird. She finally spoke to dispel the burden.

"Where are we going?"

"What'd Freddy say about you goin' with me?" Daryl asked at the same time.

A silent game of conversation chicken took place as neither of them wanted to be the first to give in and answer the other person's question.

"Freddy said "Don't die." Those were pretty much his only comments," Songbird said eventually. They hadn't exactly been his _only _comments, but they were the only ones Daryl needed to know about. Freddy had promised her some incentive if she came back in one piece and he'd asked her if she was sure she wanted to do this…be alone with Daryl again. She'd reassured him, telling him she needed some kind of closure on this whole thing.

"Heart fuckin' warmin'," Daryl muttered.

"Yeah well, Freddy knows I'm capable of taking care of myself," she answered, rolling the window down just a bit to cool her suddenly heated cheeks.

"Look I didn't bring you out here so we could fight," he began.

"I know. Forget I said it. Where are we going? You never answered me."

"We're headed up to where we found Brad and them," he said. "Had some pretty good huntin' luck there once before."

"They weren't at the farm?" Songbird asked in surprise.

"No. We found 'em when we left. They'd been campin' for about the past year."

"Wow. I wouldn't have thought he was the type."

"Yeah they were pretty well set up. You'll see it in a bit. 'Course they had a bigger group in the beginning so I don't know how much of the set up was Brad's idea and how much was somebody else takin' care of him."

Songbird only shrugged and watched the landscape go by. They weren't going the same way she and Freddy had walked in. It was too bad they hadn't come this way. It was a pretty place. The two lane road they were on curved gently through wooded areas where the leaves had turned a beautiful red and gold and then leveled out to fields of waist high grass, there was a little stream winding through one of the fields and three Walkers eating a deer in the ditch on her side…Songbird drew back from the window with a gasp. She was shocked at herself. She knew the Walkers weren't a danger to her, but had she really become so used to them that they were just part of the landscape?

"What's wrong?" Daryl asked.

"Nothing. Some Walkers are back there eating a deer."

"Bastards." Daryl brought the truck to a halt and then backed up.

"What are you doing?"

"Puttin' 'em down," he answered. "Should be easy."

He put the truck in park and got out. The Walkers barely took notice of him. They were single minded mother fuckers and they weren't going to pass up a sure meal do deal with him. A bolt punched through the head of the Walker that had been female. She fell over the deer carcass and the two male Walkers paused to growl and push her body away. Daryl stepped on the stirrup and pulled the bow tight again, but before he could shoot the two dropped, knives protruding from their eye sockets.

Daryl frowned at Songbird as she hopped out of the truck.

"I had it."

"Just thought I'd lend a hand," she answered as she approached the ditch.

"Hang on," he ordered.

"What?"

"Let me do that. You go sit in the truck."

"No," she said calmly.

"What?"

"No. It's safe. They're dead, the deer's dead, and I'm not planning on licking the knives clean or anything."

Daryl gagged a little at the thought and Songbird apologized as she pulled his bolt free of the first Walkers head.

"That was way less gross in my head," she admitted.

"I don't see how." He pulled a cloth from his back pocket and wiped the bolt clean.

Songbird handed him her knives and he cleaned them too.

"Thanks," she said as she slid them back into the sheath.

"Remember not to use those for huntin'," Daryl said. "Can't be too careful."

"That's a good point," she agreed. "You should remember too."

"Look," he said swinging the crossbow down and pointing to his arrows. "Red is for huntin' and black is for Walkers."

"Smart."

"How'd ya'll hunt without knowin' that?" he asked.

"Maybe Freddy was doing it and I didn't notice," she said, stung by the implied criticism. "And we didn't eat very much. There was too much trying not to die."

"Gotta learn to do both," Daryl said, happy to have a chance to insult Freddy. "You ate good enough when you was with me."

"When I was with you I didn't spend any time in Walker filled ravines," she snapped. "But I forgot that you're the expert on every fucking thing in the world."

"Language darlin'," he drawled.

"You say worse stuff then that every day," she pointed out.

"That's different. I'm a man."

"Andrea says worse stuff too."

"That's different too," he answered as he got into the truck.

"How?" Songbird pressed.

"Hell, I don't know!" Daryl snapped. "It just bugs me when you do it all right? Ain't I allowed to have a god damned opinion anymore? Pissed me off when Deena did it too."

"Oh." Songbird digested the information thoughtfully. She'd assumed that he didn't like it because he thought she was too young to talk that way. But maybe not. "Did she stop?"

Daryl snorted.

"Bitch never listened to a fuckin' word I said."

"Well that's crappy."

"Hell, you're one to talk."

"Hey! I did everything you said the entire time we were together!"

"So I shoulda just come right out and said don't fuck Freddy? I woulda thought it was implied," he drawled, ignoring how hurt she'd sounded.

"Don't put Freddy in the middle of this."

"You put Freddy in the middle of this when you started fuckin' him."

"We're not talking about this," she said firmly. At least not yet.

"Fine. Then I don't know what we've got to say to each other."

"So if we're not talking about what you want to talk about then we're not talking?" Songbird demanded.

"Yep."

"And you wonder why we didn't work out," she muttered.

He heard her; he just chose not to address the comment. What the hell anyway? Was she actually going to sit there and act like this was his fault? Apparently that was what everyone thought. Were they all content to ignore the fact that she'd gone from his bed to Freddy's in less than 24 hours? How'd she manage to come out of the situation looking so damn good anyway?

Songbird snuck a glance at Daryl after she'd managed to suppress the urge to cry. Wow. He looked pissed. This had officially been a bad idea. But, as brief as their conversation had been, she had gained some insight. She had always assumed that Daryl was a dominant guy through and through but he'd spent five years with a woman who, by his own admission, never listened to him.

She wondered how Deena had done it. It wasn't that Songbird wanted to walk all over Daryl; she actually loved his dominate side. She had felt safe with him right away because of it but somehow it had gotten out of hand. She thought back to how he'd been when they first met. He'd been protective but he'd let her do things too. Things like loot the gas station and even the ammo store that time. She'd had to argue that one…had she stopped arguing? Songbird thought about her arrival at the prison. She'd pretty much done whatever he said, with a few half hearted attempts to control her life that had been so quickly shut down that she'd given up…until she'd exploded.

Maybe Daryl was the type of guy who needed a woman to be a little more outspoken than she'd been to keep him from getting crazy. But it simply wasn't in her nature to do that. When she loved someone she tended to move heaven and earth to please them. So maybe they just weren't meant for each other. She sighed deeply.

"It's gonna rain," Daryl said in disgust. "And what the hell's your problem?"

"Nothing," she snapped defensively. "Just where is this camp site anyway?"

"Not much further," he said. "Not that it's gonna do much good. Ain't huntin' in the damn rain."

"I guess we'll have to wait it out," she said despondently.

"That'll be fun."

They pulled into the site about half an hour later; just as the rain started. Songbird took off her boots and crawled through the split glass.

"Here," she said, handing Daryl her machetes and his crossbow.

"What are you doin'?"

"Cleaning this out. I'm not sleeping on a pile of weaponry."

"Yeah well, neither am I," he informed her when she handed the next load of stuff up.

"I'm cleaning as fast as I can," she said in annoyance. "Some of it's food and I'm hungry."

So she meant for them to sleep together back there. He was irritated at how happy that made him. He'd thrown it in her face that she couldn't sleep alone but he'd lost more sleep than he could count since he'd lost her. He got into the bed of the truck.

She handed him a biscuit and he bit into it. An atmosphere of extreme awkwardness settled over them slowly but surely. The rain got heavier, drumming on the metal roof of the truck. Their breath began to fog up the camper shell windows.

Daryl glanced at Songbird and wondered if she remembered. Her flushed face told him she did. He saw her swallow hard and then bite her lower lip as she began to play with her braid. Nervous gestures. Was she as desperate to do something with her hands as he was? He finished the biscuit quickly and then began straightening blankets; anything to keep his hands off of her.

It actually needed to be done; he hadn't used the bed of his truck in a while. He wondered if Emma still did. Crazy kid. It must run in the family.

Songbird cursed the rain silently. Why today? Why right now? She hadn't felt much in bed with Daryl right after coming back, but it seemed as if it was all stored up now and ready to explode in actions she was sure to regret. What the hell? Life had been so easy before this whole apocalypse. She sort of laughed half under her breath. That was the most insane thing she'd ever thought. It probably had something to do with being turned on.

"What's funny?" Daryl asked.

"Nothing. You know how sometimes you think of something and then you realize it's kind of weird…"

"Sure," he said indulgently. "Now what are we gonna do?"

"I…" she bit her tongue to keep her voice from going low and slow the way she knew he liked it. "Brought a book."

"Knock yourself out," he said, stretching out and closing his eyes. It wouldn't have been nearly dark if it wasn't for the rain, but again…it was nice to be with her, even if things were tense, and he planned to get some sleep and enjoy it.

Songbird read until it was too dark to see the page and since she didn't want to waste the flashlight, she had no choice but to lie down. She lay flat on her back, arms crossed Egyptian mummy style to keep from bumping into him, and tried not to think about how ridiculous the whole thing was.

As hard as she'd tried, she wasn't in love with Freddy. Freddy who was so perfect for her that it was crazy. Freddy and his amazingly, perfectly, sculpted body that had only gotten better this month with all their training. Freddy and his easy smile, quick laugh, great personality, and steadfast devotion. Freddy who wouldn't leave her for dead unless he saw her go. Why couldn't she love him?

She forced herself to stop thinking. At least about Freddy. She wondered suddenly if Daryl still had those pictures of her. She hadn't found them at the compound so chances were…she dug around. Yep. They were under the pillow.

Had he kept them or forgotten he had them? It was an important distinction. She glanced at him, but he looked like he was asleep and she wouldn't have been able to ask him anyway.

A few hours later Daryl was startled awake by someone wrapping themselves around him. He glanced down and saw that, in sleep, Songbird had snuggled against him the way she had in the past. Her leg was thrown over his, her arm was slung over his chest and she'd buried her face against his neck.

He felt her sigh out a contented breath and felt her body relax more in sleep than it had since she came back. He tightened his arm around her and cupped his hand around the back of her head. This was what it used to feel like. This felt right. Of course, she could be thinking he was Freddy.

Tension snaked in under the good feeling. A month. A month they'd been apart. A month she'd been with doing this with Freddy instead of him.

Daryl nudged her roughly and she started, blinked at him in confusion, then scrambled backward in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I was…"

"Me or him?" Daryl demanded, unable to stand it any longer.

"What?"

"Were you thinkin' about me or him?"

"I was asleep! I wasn't thinking about anyone!"

"I don't mean just now," he said, sitting up. "I mean before. When you were with me."

"Last year?"

"Last fuckin' month! Goddamnit this is complex shit! What I'm sayin' is…how'd you go from me to him so fast?"

Songbird looked down, trying to think of a way to answer him.

"You was with him before?" Daryl tried to ask the question brusquely but he couldn't quite manage to sound like he wouldn't care if she had been.

"No!" then she felt the weight of guilt. There had been the van…and the kiss…she rubbed her face. "Daryl, I wasn't sleeping with Freddy while I was with you."

"But you damn sure are now ain't you?"

She looked away again.

"And then you come over and cuddle up on me? Must be somethin' missin' between you and him," he said with a smirk.

"I rolled over," she said icily. "This is a small truck. And I came out here to try to straighten things out between us. I know that what I did wasn't right…"

"So now you're sorry?" he cut in. "And my truck ain't small."

"Why do always have to be such a dick?" she burst out.

"Why'd you have to leave?"

Okay, that sounded pathetic. He sighed. Her lower lip was trembling and, while he knew she wouldn't appreciate it, she looked so damn young that he just wanted to pull her against him and tell her that everything would be all right. Except it wouldn't. Why was this so hard? It hadn't been like this with his other exes. Of course, he hadn't been forced to live with them either.

"Why'd you even come along?" he asked.

"I wanted things to be better between us! We live together! We'll probably have to live together forever! And what about when spring comes and we go back to the compound? I…"

"Wait. What? I ain't goin' back to the damn compound. We got a maximum security prison to live in! It ain't gonna get much safer."

"It's home!"

"Yeah, maybe for you and him. But not me."

She just stared at him with her mouth hanging open for a second.

"You're not going back?" she asked.

"Why the hell would I?"

"Because I came and found you!" she hissed to avoid shrieking. "I nearly died to find you and when the time comes you're getting your ass in the truck and going back to that compound with me and that's all there is to it!"

She lay down huffily with her back to him and a few moments later she heard him smother a laugh. She whirled back around, ready to give him a further piece of her mind but before she could, he gave her a crooked smile.

"You're somethin' else you know that?" he asked. "And it's cold as hell; give up some of that blanket."

She moved back over a bit and Daryl wrapped his arm around her. She went a little tense and he said, "Relax. I'm keeping it above the belt."

After a few moments she did as he said.

A/N: I miss them together just as much as you guys do. Stupid story needing a plot lol. I loved writing this chapter and I hope you all enjoy reading it.


	66. Chapter 64

1.

Songbird woke up squinting into a bright morning sun. Daryl's arm was still around her. He'd actually kept it above the belt. She stretched and he groaned low in his throat.

"Don't be mean darlin'," he said sleepily. "I'm tryin' to be a fuckin' gentleman."

For a second she couldn't figure out what he meant and then she realized that when she'd stretched she'd pressed her ass against his crotch.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

He shrugged magnanimously before stretching and sitting up.

"Anything else to eat?" he asked.

"Yep." She handed over some more biscuits and then they got their hunting things together.

"Split up or stay together?" she asked once they were done.

"I say stay together," he answered. "Those fuckers travelin' in packs makes it harder."

"Okay. Then let's go."

The hunting went fairly well to both their surprise. Daryl was pleased with the way she handled her bow, with her agility, with her…hell, with her. That was one capable girl. Damn it. Woman. And why was he just now able to unwind about the whole thing?

Maybe he wasn't meant to be in a relationship. Maybe he was doomed to be single forever. That had actually been a happy thought after Deena but it was a lonely thought now. Lonely was a weird feeling. He was sick and tired of wondering about feelings.

He cocked the bow and dropped the deer. Fuck feelings. This was why God created hunting. Songbird punched him in the shoulder and mouthed "good shot" and he remembered why God had created her. Fuck. Fuck. Shit. Damn.

The ride back was quiet and a bit tense the closer they got to the prison. It was worse when Freddy came into the garage and gave her a hug, picking her up and spinning her around.

"You made it back alive," he said giving her a smile.

"Others weren't so fortunate," she replied, indicating the game in the truck bed and tied to the roof.

"Good haul," Glenn said to Daryl.

Daryl grunted and handed him a bag of rabbits.

"I wanna talk to you later," Daryl said to Rick when he stepped up to help.

"Sure," Rick said.

They unloaded the rest, divided up the gutting duties, which Daryl and Songbird escaped due to the fact that they'd hunted. Freddy tossed his arm casually around Songbird's shoulders and attempted to steer her to their room.

"No!" she protested. "Shower. Showers must be had."

"You know where to find me."

2.

Later that evening Rick found Daryl sitting on the truck bed and said, "So what's up?"

"How'd you stand seein' 'em together?" Daryl asked. "Knowin' what they were doin'?"

"It wasn't easy," Rick answered, knowing instinctively what Daryl was talking about. "It hurt like hell actually."

"But you had a distraction."

"Lucky was more than a distraction," Rick said with an edge in his voice.

"I know. I ain't sayin' you was usin' her. Hell I ain't sure what I am sayin'."

"You want her back."

"How come you always think you know more about my life than I do?"

"Do you want her or do you not?"

"Yeah," Daryl said grudgingly.

"Then you've got to back off."

"What the fuck?"

"You've pushed her far enough haven't you? Let her come to you."

"What if she don't?"

"What if you push her the rest of the way away?"

"Fuck."

"Yeah." Rick smacked Daryl in the shoulder and stood up. "And, listen up, this is important. When she does come back you've got to forgive her."

"Now you're walking out on me too?" Daryl asked as he processed Rick's words. Forgiveness was the part he wasn't sure he could handle. How could he act okay with the fact that Freddy'd had his hands all over her?

"Lori is 8 months pregnant. I know you've got no experience with this…but when your woman is 8 months pregnant she doesn't sleep and when she doesn't sleep you don't sleep."

"Better you than me," Daryl lied. He'd actually wished a lot over the past month that he had gotten Songbird pregnant. If she'd been pregnant he would have been able to convince her to stay home when they went to Area 2 and he wouldn't have lost her. And Freddy wouldn't have got her.

3.

After her shower Songbird made her way to the room she shared with Freddy.

"Hey," he said, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her.

"Hello," she replied a few minutes later when her towel was on the floor. "Missed me?"

"Some parts of you more specifically than others," he teased.

"Chauvinist."

"You're totally into that."

"You know me so well."

"Yeah I do. So relax and let me do my thing."

"Heck no," she said. "There won't be much time for relaxing."

"Got something planned?"

"Mmm-hmm," she purred, sliding his jeans down and going to her knees in front of him.

"Oh." He drew in his breath when she took him into her mouth. "Well, I'm not one to stifle a person's creativity…"

Creative was a good word for it. Her lips were soft and her mouth was warm and wet and enthusiastic. Eventually Freddy's knees started to give out so he pulled her to her feet and then tossed her onto the bed.

"You didn't like it?" she asked.

"Hah," Freddy said. "You think you can get away with teasing me like that?"

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Something along these lines," he answered, working his way down her body and settling between her legs.

When she was gasping and her fingers were buried in his hair he stopped.

"Jerk," she gasped.

He laughed and moved over her, bracing his weight and teasing her with shallow thrusts.

"Freddy!"

She wrapped her arms around him and twisted her body so that she was on top.

"Well, if you're really that determined," Freddy said. "Who am I to tell you no?"

"Exactly."

She leaned down, kissing his neck, just under his jaw where she knew he really liked it as she worked her hips, seating him deep and not pulling back.

"God." He raised his hands, cupping her breasts and taking her mouth with his. He loved kissing her because she did it so enthusiastically. It was slightly different tonight though. She was more…involved…maybe that was the word. And maybe it wasn't. It was a little hard to concentrate at the moment.

He rolled her over and caught her wrists over her head and took her harder. She arched against him and he felt her breasts press against his chest. He pressed one hand over her mouth when she got loud and she wrapped her legs around him.

If this was the last time, it was going to be the best time. She'd seen the way Daryl looked at her in the truck and then when Freddy had hugged her. She'd recognized that she had to end one thing before she started another.

He yanked her up and spun her around, giving her a moment to grasp the rails of the headboard before driving back into her. Her voice was muffled by the pillow so she knew no one would hear her cry of pleasure when Freddy reached around between her legs, rubbing her, adding to her pleasure until it was more than her body could take.

"Yes!"

He felt her body clench and then jerk against his. He didn't stop until she begged him to…and that wasn't for a while. When he finally let go it was all he could do to keep his voice down, but he had to since he was on his knees behind her with no way to muffle his voice. He collapsed to the side and pulled her against him.

Songbird laid her head on Freddy's chest and caught her breath. How was she going to tell him? Hell, after that she wasn't sure she _wanted_ to tell him. Going without really sucked.

"Songbird?" he asked. "That was a little…uh…different."

"Bad different?"

"God no. Intense different."

"Yeah. Freddy…you know how we were supposed to have that talk about our relationship?"

"Yeah?" he was nervous suddenly. Was this some kind of declaration of love? Oh God.

"Well…you know I was out there with Daryl…and then I came back here and I think that it's just too hard…for him…and for me…and I'm not sure that I should have…that we should have…and I'm so sorry Freddy but I just…"

"Songbird, are you saying you're not in love with me?" he asked.

"Um…well…yes. I'm so sorry!" she wailed as she covered her face with both hands.

"No!" he cut in. "I'm not in love with you either!"

"You're not?" she asked, so happy that she threw her arms around him.

"No! I mean, I do love you. I do. Just not like…that."

"I feel the same way!" Songbird was so relieved she laughed. "I love you too…but not like that either!"

"God, we're so perfect for each other," Freddy said with a shake of his head.

"We really are. We just also sort of aren't."

"Exactly."

They were quiet for a moment and then Freddy sighed and ran his fingers through her tousled hair.

"Kinda sucks doesn't it?" he asked.

"Kinda does. I'll have to sleep in my own room."

"No more epic sex either."

"It was pretty epic Freddy," she said kissing him on the cheek.

"You aren't bad yourself."

4.

The next morning was a little awkward as Songbird gathered her things.

"Did this ruin things between you and me?" she asked.

"I doubt it," he said easily. "We're just going to have to get used to keeping our hands to ourselves."

"I guess," she leaned against him out of habit and he laughed.

"See? It's stuff like this."

"Right." She pushed herself upright again.

"This has nothing to do with sex, but you really could keep sleeping in here. In that bed I mean," he said, gesturing to the other bunk. "I know you hate sleeping alone."

"I'll think about it," she promised.

She wanted to say no, because she wanted to be able to stand on her own two feet, but…she really, really hated being in a room by herself. With a sigh, she headed for the bathroom. She passed Emma in the hall.

"What's up?" she asked when she saw the downcast look on the girl's face.

"Nothing," Emma said with a deep sigh.

Songbird took another step and then gave a sigh of her own.

"Come on. Spit it out."

"Tomorrow's my sixteenth birthday," Emma said immediately, proving that she'd been desperate for Songbird to ask again.

"Oh." Dang it. Now she felt really bad for the kid.

Emma sighed deeply.

"It was supposed to be so awesome! And instead it's going to be so…so…prison-ish."

Her lower lip trembled. Songbird sighed and patted her shoulder. It was crappy. Her own sixteenth birthday had been pretty nice. Papa Tony had thrown her a party under the big top and they'd had a fireworks show that night. That was probably not what Emma needed to hear. Suddenly she had a flash of inspiration.

"I'm moving out of Freddy's room." That should help.

"You are?" Emma threw her arms around Songbird and hugged her so tightly that Songbird coughed.

"Yep. Leggo…air, Emma. I need air."

Emma let go with a smile.

"So, what are you doing in about five minutes?" Songbird asked impulsively.

"Nothing," Emma said.

"Meet me in the garage."

"Daryl's truck?"

"Where else?"

Songbird sifted through her bag and headed out to the garage after she'd visited the restroom. Emma wasn't there yet, so Songbird sat down on the tailgate and fished in her pocket for a lighter.

Emma came around the corner a second later and gasped in shock. Songbird grinned at her and exhaled.

"Are you…is that…"

"I am. It is. Join me?" Songbird held the joint out and patted the empty spot on the tailgate.

"I can't! Daddy would be so mad! He'll be mad at you too!"

Songbird took a drag and said, "Yeah, you should have seen Papa Tony's face when he found me and Ben doing it. Smoking, I mean. Come on baby sis. You only live once."

"Is this peer pressure?"

"A little bit. I think we're overdue for some sisterly bonding. And I'm considering this part of your birthday present so either smoke it or I'm going to have to find someone else to share with."

"Okay fine." Emma sat beside Songbird and took the joint gingerly. "What do I do?"

"Put it between your lips and inhale. Don't let it out for a few seconds."

Emma did as Songbird suggested, her face going beet red as she struggled not to cough.

"This is terrible," she gasped.

"Give it a second or two. So…you hang out in Daryl's truck when you want to be alone huh?"

"Yeah, it's a really nice truck."

"Sure is." Songbird inhaled and glanced back reminiscently. "It's super comfortable isn't it?"

"It really is. Did you live in it?"

"Sometimes. I spent some time in the RV too."

"Why?"

"It was before Daryl and I got together…and sort of in the middle. We have an odd relationship."

"But…I thought you were married."

"We…sort of were. I guess committed would be a better word."

"Wait. You got married after the apocalypse started?"

"Well, we met after it so yeah."

Emma took another puff and leaned forward as she said, "Tell about it."

"Are you a sucker for a beautiful love story?" Songbird asked.

"Yes. Yes I am."

"This isn't exactly it. I was starving. He knocked me down."

"What? Am I hearing you wrong? Am I high?"

"You might be getting there," Songbird said with a laugh. "But he probably thought I was a Walker. It was instinct. He's got lots of instinct."

"So tell me the whole story."

Songbird took a deep breath and recounted the story for Emma. By the time she was done, Emma gave her a teary (and slightly glassy) look and said, "That's so romantic. Now tell me about the sex."

"What?"

"Come on! I've never done it. You have to tell me. Isn't there a code or something?"

Songbird snorted with laughter.

"If there's not there should be. Okay fine. Sex hurts. It hurts more than you'd think." When Emma's face fell she hurried on, "But only for a minute or two. Then…it's more amazing than you could ever imagine. At least I hope it will be when you do it."

"Was Daryl your first?" When Songbird nodded Emma went on swiftly. Where'd it happen?"

Songbird felt her face heat up and Emma squealed, "Ew!"

"Hey nobody told you to hang out in here." Songbird pushed Emma in the shoulder. "And it's not like the sheets haven't been washed since then."

Emma shook her head with a giggle and they sat silent for a while, passing the joint back and forth.

"I noticed that you're talking to Dad more," Emma finally said.

"Yeah. Does it bother you?" Songbird was happy that Emma got high the way she did…relaxed, maybe a little giggly, but not too bad. Not like Freddy. She thought back suddenly to his cow theory and smiled briefly. Life in the compound had been so perfect for a while.

"No," Emma said. "It did at first. I mean…how could he have had this family I didn't know about you know? But…even when I hate you, I like you. So we must be family right?"

Songbird blinked back sudden tears.

"Emma Phelps," she began after she cleared her throat. "You're a dork."

"I must take after you."

"That all depends. Can you sleep in a room alone?" Songbird asked. "Because if you can, you've got one up on me."

"Where are you sleeping tonight then?" Emma asked. "You just left Freddy…oh! Are you getting back together with Daryl?"

"No." She frowned at her boots and went on, "I know I look like it…but I'm not that kind of person. And Daryl and I…there's too much there to go back again."

"Are you sure?"

"He's so possessive Emma." She remembered his words that night in the rain: _"Nobody else is gonna touch you! You're mine! You get that?"_ "He'll never forgive me for…and I'm not sure I've forgiven him either. Anyway, short answer is no. I will not be getting back together with Daryl tonight."

"Okay okay," Emma said, inhaling for the last time and passing it back to Songbird. "Oh! What about us?"

"You and Daryl?" Songbird was confused.

"God no! I mean…there's nothing wrong with him or anything…but um…no. And what I meant was that we, _you and me_ we that is, could share a room. I'm sick of living with two guys and Dad won't let me have my own room."

"Hmmmm," Songbird took the last drag and flicked the joint away. "That sounds like it could be a plan. We'll go talk with Brad."

"Not now though," Emma said. "The floor's too far away."

Songbird laughed and laid back wrapping her arms around one of the spare pillows and closing her eyes.

"You're cute Emma."

"I'm so sick of hearing that," Emma said, lying back as well.

"Get used to it," Songbird said. "It's like a curse."

5.

Several hours later Daryl walked through the garage on his way back inside and heard voices coming from his truck.

"What the hell?" he muttered.

Carol shrugged, even though he hadn't really been asking her. He picked up the pace and saw Songbird and Emma sitting on the tailgate. Songbird was gesturing and Emma was watching her and nodding seriously.

"What ya'll doin'?" Daryl asked, trying to keep his voice neutral and apply Rick's advice.

"Um," they both said at the same time.

"Just talking," Songbird finally said, her eyes on the floor of the garage. He was with Carol and he was headed to his truck and she didn't want to think any further about the scenario.

"She's going to be my new roommate," Emma said helpfully.

Daryl's heart did its best to escape his ribcage and he swallowed hard. She was leaving Freddy? She was leaving Freddy!

"Why's my truck so damn popular?" he asked, stepping closer.

"Did you need it?" she asked miserably.

"Huh?" It took a second for him to realize what she was saying. "No! I was outside target shootin'. I was just comin' back in this way. I wasn't gonna, uh, use the truck for anything."

"Okay," Songbird said with a nod. "Well, we can go though..."

"Nah. Use it whenever you want," he said with a shrug. "You've got just as much right to it as I do."

He walked away before he could say anything else and Carol followed him.

"That was painfully awkward," Emma whispered after a moment.

"It really was wasn't it?" Songbird replied, flopping backward once more.

6.

Daryl walked inside the prison feeling better than he had in a long time. She and Freddy were through. He wondered why. Was it the hunting trip? Was it sharing the truck with him again? Or was it something totally different? Hell, she wasn't coming back to him after all; she was moving in with Emma. It dampened the mood slightly, but not much.

He turned to say something to Carol and saw her walking into her room. Oh well. He rounded the corner, directly into an argument between Shane and Herschel. Rick was there too, but he wasn't saying much, probably because he couldn't get a word in edgewise.

"You can't tell me you agree with him can you?" Shane demanded. "Next thing you know we'll have a barn full of 'em again! And then who's gonna have to take care of it?"

"I think you've made your opinion clear," Herschel said tightly. "And there's a big difference between one and twenty. What I'm saying is—"

"Insane," Shane cut in. ""What you're saying is insane. We don't just—"

"What's goin' on?" Daryl asked, raising his voice over the general noise.

"Herschel wants a pet," Shane spat out. "He—"

"What I want," Herschel began again, "is the chance to research them."

"What the hell for?" Daryl asked in shock.

"Research," Herschel answered patiently, "will tell us more of their weaknesses and—"

"We know their weaknesses. A bullet between the eyes," Shane said defiantly. "I'm telling you that you cannot do this. Do you hear me?"

"It's not your decision," Herschel said.

"It's not my—" Shane ran his hand over his head and laughed bitterly. "But it's his?"

"Now hang on a second," Rick said, finally able to be heard. "You don't need to let this get out of hand."

"You'd know wouldn't you? You—our fearless leader. So goddamn busy trying to keep the peace that you can't tell anybody no! I warned you about going back didn't I? And now you're going to let him bring something like this in here? Around Lori? Carl? That baby that's due any day now?"

"They're mine to worry about Shane," Rick tightly. "Mine."

It was quiet in the hall for a moment and then Shane turned and walked away.

"But you ain't really gonna bring a Walker in here right?" Daryl asked.

Herschel sighed and said, "I wouldn't just let roam freely. And my research would be so limited that I wouldn't see the point in keeping it long…"

"Go ahead," Rick said tiredly. "Get something set up and we'll see about finding you one."

Herschel nodded and walked away as well. Daryl stood staring at Rick.

"Have you lost your damn mind?" he finally asked. "You can't—"

"You're going to start now? Telling me what I can and can't do?"

"Hell it looks like somebody should! You don't know how everybody else is gonna feel about this. We oughta at least put it to a vote or somethin'!"

"Everyone's happy enough to put everything else on my shoulders," Rick snarled. "A little trust every now and then would be appreciated!"

"I ain't sayin' I don't trust you," Daryl protested. "I don't trust those fuckin' Walkers and it ain't a good idea to…hell, I never thought I'd say it but Shane's right."

Rick didn't answer; he just walked away in the opposite direction Shane had gone. Daryl sighed and wondered how everyone else was going to take it. He also wondered what Songbird and Freddy would be like at supper. He kind of relished the thought of her acting like she hated Freddy.


	67. Chapter 65

1.

It didn't quite happen that way, much to Daryl's disappointment. Songbird and Freddy were positively friendly with each other.

"What the fuck?" he muttered under his breath when Freddy sat down beside her and dropped an extra slice of bread on her plate.

"What?" Dale asked.

"Thought they were done," he said.

"They are," Andrea said, sitting down beside Dale. "She and Emma just got finished moving into their new room."

"Oh." He studied the two of them a bit harder. Songbird was chatting to Freddy with an easy grin and hand gestures. What the hell?

"You know it's possible to be friends after a breakup don't you?" Andrea asked in amusement, as she watched him frown.

"No," Daryl said flatly. "It ain't."

"Sure it is," Glenn said, joining in the conversation. "I was really good friends with my first girlfriend for a long time after we broke up."

"Oh really?" Maggie asked dryly.

"Well, I'm pretty sure she's a zombie now," Glenn said with a grin. "No need to worry."

Maggie smiled and shook her head, then gave Glenn a poke in the shoulder and a kiss on the cheek before walking up to get her food.

"She sure as hell ain't been friendly with me," Daryl said, getting back on the subject.

"You haven't exactly been friendly with her," Dale pointed out.

Daryl sighed and took a bite of the venison stew Carol had made and let simmer all day. It wasn't great, because of the lack of ingredients, but it was as good as it got around her. Visions of the garden in the compound swam though his head. Damn Songbird, reminding him. He glanced her way as he thought about her and found her gaze on him. She looked away quickly but it made him feel better anyway.

2.

"So, they wrangled the Walker," Songbird said two nights later as Emma braided her hair for bed.

"Yes," Emma said, and Songbird heard the frown in her voice. "Rick and Axel brought it in while I was out riding with Maggie. I just…"

"I think it's dumb," Songbird finished when Emma didn't. "I can't believe it happened when almost everyone was so against it."

"I think it's cool!" Greg cut in. "I wonder what kind it is? Carl said he's wondering what Mr. Green is going to do to it and he's going to watch and I—"

"Greg, go to bed," Songbird said tiredly. "You know Carl Grimes isn't going to be allowed near that thing and neither are you."

"You guys are mean," Greg informed them. "And I don't have to go yet. Dad said I didn't have to get a shower tonight."

"Michelangelo," Songbird called sweetly.

The dog trotted in obediently and she continued, "Show Greg to the door."

Michelangelo walked over to the bunk Greg sat on and gave him a long look that seemed to say, "Move it along buddy."

"Fine," Greg said. "But I'm telling Dad."

"See in the morning," Emma called after him.

"Good boy," Songbird complimented Michelangelo as she rubbed his ears.

"He is a great dog," Emma said, patting him on the back. "I saw him out in the yard with Daryl today."

"Really? They didn't tell me." Songbird looked into Michelangelo's eyes and said, "Did you play with Daryl today?"

Michelangelo put his paws on her legs and stood up, licking her on the chin and grinning.

"Did you have fun?"

His tail wagged.

"You missed Daryl didn't you?"

He pushed his nose against her neck and she ran her hand down his back and scratched behind his ears vigorously the way she knew he liked.

"He's so smart," Emma said as she changed into her pajamas. "Who trained him?"

"Daryl mostly. But I found him. And he was always brilliant. Kind of a chauvinist…but he's gotten better. Did you know Freddy used to be terrified of him?"

"No way," Emma said firmly.

"Screamed like a girl the first time they met," Songbird said with a smile. "Didn't he boy?"

Michelangelo smiled too and Songbird laughed at Emma's amazed expression.

"Come on you two," she said, turning the covers back. "Let's get some sleep."

Emma's voice came through the dark right as Songbird was nearly falling asleep.

"Freddy really was scared of him?"

"Oh yeah. Not just Michelangelo…all dogs. So he might actually be scared of other dogs even now." She smothered a laugh at the thought and went on, "You didn't think he was perfect did you?"

"Well…" Emma's voice trailed off. "Maybe a little."

Songbird started to enumerate some of Freddy's faults, but then she stopped. Emma looked at Freddy they way she knew she'd looked at Daryl in the past. There was nothing wrong with a little innocent hero worship.

"He is pretty great," was all she said. "Night Em."

"Night."

3.

A few nights later Songbird was walking down the corridor to the gym to get the knives she'd left there when she ran into Daryl. He'd clearly just come from the shower; he was shirtless and his hair was wet and she averted her eyes quickly. The last thing she wanted was to prove him right about that whole "crawling back" thing. Maybe one more glance wouldn't hurt though…

"Where'd you get that?" she asked in surprise.

Daryl stopped but for the life of him he couldn't figure out what she meant. The jeans and boots were old, the towel he was rubbing over his hair was normal. He didn't have anything else.

"That," she elaborated, pointing at his right side.

There was a puckered scar, not the angry red of a fresh one, but not the pale fading white of an old one either. She didn't remember it from before.

"Nice to know fuckin' you was that damn memorable," he muttered as he walked past.

She saw a matching scar on his back.

"Wait! It was always dark! I couldn't have seen it before anyway. What happened?"

"Fell off a horse," he held up his hand when she started to speak with a half smile, "down a mountain," now she looked less amused, "into a river," her lips parted as she stared at him, "landed on a cross bow bolt."

"Wow," she said after a moment. "Leave it to you. How'd you get out?"

"Fuckin' climbed back up," he said casually. "After I yanked the bolt out and shot the Walker chewin' on my boot."

He relished the look on her face. It was the way she used to look at him, a mixture of admiration and wonder. Nice.

"Anyway," he said nonchalantly. "See you around."

Songbird managed to hold back the shiver until he had turned around. He was like her own personal Chuck Norris. Except he didn't know karate. And he wasn't hers anymore.

"It happened when he was looking for Sophia."

Carol's voice startled her and she turned.

"He nearly died that day. Twice."

"_Twice_?" Songbird repeated.

"On his way home, Andrea shot him in the head."

"What?"

Carol didn't answer; she just walked out into the yard. Songbird spun on her heel and went to look for Andrea.

"You shot Daryl?" she burst out the minute she saw the other woman.

"Shit. Who told you?" Andrea asked.

"Carol! That's not the point! Why…how…"

"I thought he was a Walker. It was an accident. I only grazed him!" Andrea protested when Songbird raised an eyebrow. "You never noticed the scar?"

"Where?"

"In his head," Rick said, gesturing at the side of his own head.

"No," Songbird whispered guiltily.

"It's mostly under his hair," Andrea said. "Where'd you see Carol? She said she was going to bed."

Songbird suddenly had a bad feeling but she gave Andrea a smile and a nod, then she left the room. She hurried up the hall and out the door. It was full dark, even though it was barely after supper time and the wind was cold. She stood listening for a moment; she hoped to catch Carol in conversation with someone.

The sound she heard sent another chill through her, one that had nothing to do with cold. A walker snarled away to her left. Herschel had admitted defeat earlier that evening to Emma and Shane had said he'd go out later and put a bullet in the Walker. Apparently he hadn't gotten around to it just yet.

"At least we'll always have each other. You'll never leave me."

Songbird ran the second she realized whose voice that was and how close the speaker would be to the Walker. She managed to jerk Carol back right as the Walker snapped its teeth closed on the space where her neck had been moments before. The force of the pull tumbled them both to the ground.

"What are you doing?"

"Saving your life!" Songbird answered vehemently. "What were you—"

That question was cut off when Carol's hand made stinging contact with Songbird's cheek.

"Saving my life?" the woman hissed. "What life? Any life I had is over!"

"Carol I know it hurts but—"

"You don't know anything about pain! You don't know what it feels like to lose someone who was a part of you. Someone who needed you—"

"You did everything you could—" Songbird moved backward cautiously. She didn't want to hurt Carol but then again, she wasn't going to ask for another slap either. The Walker tied to the pole was going rabid with attempts to get to them.

"She needed you!" Carol said, her voice shaking with anger. "But you had to be selfish and independent and anywhere except where a wife belongs! You should have stayed home! Then you could have saved my Sophia. She would have listened to you! You could have protected her!"

Carol was sobbing now and Songbird stared at her in shock. So this wasn't about Daryl? This was about Sophia?

"I—" she reached for Carol but the woman yanked her arm away. "I don't know what to say."

"Say you would have saved her!" Carol demanded. "Tell me it would have been different if you'd been there!"

"I…I…I hope it would have," Songbird said. "I like to think I could have saved her. I—"

Suddenly Carol gasped. Songbird pushed herself back instinctively, her eyes going to the pole the Walker had been cuffed to. One of its arms lay on the ground at the base of pole. The other was wrapped around Carol's neck, the nails digging in, breaking the skin.

"No!" Songbird gasped as she scrambled to her feet. "Carol!" She reached for her knives and discovered that she didn't have them. "Hey!" she yelled. "Somebody! Anybody! Help!"

Carol didn't struggle; it seemed like she leaned back into the embrace of the creature as it began to feed.

"Carol," she whispered.

"Tell me," Carol whispered brokenly. "She's okay."

A rush of footsteps pounded over the yard. Songbird vaguely heard Daryl curse as he yanked the Walker back and away. She heard Shane's shot gun go off, but she couldn't take her eyes off of Carol. Freddy was laying her back on the ground and shaking his head at the inquiring looks of the others.

Songbird reached out and put her hand on Carol's cheek. She ignored all the voices around them.

"I saved her," she whispered shakily. "Don't you remember? We came back. We all did."

Carol covered Songbird's hand with her own blood soaked one.

"And you'll take care of her?" she asked.

"I will." Songbird felt Carol shaking with the loss of blood but she gave her a reassuring smile. "I'll always take care of her. Everything will be fine Carol. I promise."

Carol closed her eyes. Shane aimed the gun once more. Songbird's sob was covered by the blast of the next shot.

Daryl looked at Songbird's paper white face, reached out and pulled her against him. He felt her shiver and heard her gasp as she tried not to cry. He put his hand on the back of her head and held her, rocking back and forth slightly.

"Don't cry darlin'," he said soothingly.

It was the same thing he'd done when it had been Rooster and James who died. That did it; Songbird began to sob. Eventually she got so hysterical that it stopped the argument developing in the yard about the idiocy of bringing Walkers into the prison yard and the insanity of waiting to put them down. She cried until she was hoarse, slapped Brad, Emma, and Freddy away when they attempted to calm her down, and in general worried everyone until she blacked out.

4.

When she woke up, she was in her bed. She could tell she'd slept a long time. Freddy was beside her but he was fully dressed and on top of the covers, and Emma was sitting on the opposite bunk with a book in her hand.

"What happened?" Songbird asked Emma with a wince at her sore throat.

"What do you remember?" Emma asked carefully.

"What happened after I had the breakdown?" Songbird rephrased.

"Daryl carried you inside. Freddy washed the blood off of you and changed your clothes and we've been taking turns sitting with you. Freddy stayed up all night."

"Where's Daryl?"

"Digging," Emma said softly.

Songbird sighed and rubbed her face with both hands.

"I can't believe I lost it like that," she said. "I don't think I've ever been that hysterical."

"When's the last time someone died that way in front of you?" Emma asked practically.

"It's been a while," Songbird admitted. "This whole time I just thought she was mad that I was alive because she wanted Daryl…and…and I never even asked her how she was feeling."

"You used to be close?" the question came from Brad, who'd looked in when he heard their voices.

"Yes. She's the one who left me the letter that told me they'd left. If she hadn't I never would have even known what happened." Suddenly she realized what Emma had meant. "Wait. Digging. Are they having a funeral?"

"Yeah, I think they're going to," Brad answered. "We weren't sure how you were going to do with it."

"I want to be there if that's what you mean," she answered.

When she walked out the majority of the group was already there. To her relief, Carol's body had already been wrapped in a sheet. She caught Daryl's eye as he, Rick, and Shane all lifted the sheet wrapped form and lowered it gently into the grave. He looked relieved to see her and worried at the same time. And sad. She wondered again if there'd been something between them while she was away. It didn't make her angry anymore to think about it, just sad.

When the grave was filled everyone looked at one another awkwardly. No one really knew what to say about her death. Everyone felt a little responsible, some, like Herschel and Songbird felt devastatingly guilty.

Finally Herschel cleared his throat and said,

God our creator and redeemer,

by your power Christ conquered death

and entered into glory.

Confident of his victory

and claiming his promises,

we entrust Carol to your mercy

in the name of Jesus our Lord,

who died and is alive

and reigns with you,

now and forever.

Amen.

"Amen," several of the group echoed.

Daryl saw Songbird's hand move as she crossed herself and he heard her whisper, "May the soul of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace."

He bowed his head, unsurprised when it began to rain. Carol had been a good person. Too good maybe. Too soft, too trusting, too kind, too unsure of herself, and ultimately too beaten down to continue. Should he have known? She'd probably spent more time with him than anyone, but she'd always been so quiet.

He felt Songbird step a bit closer and he reached out and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. One by one, people walked back inside, out of the rain, away from the reminder. Daryl and Songbird stayed until they were soaked to the skin, until lightning flashed in the distance and illuminated a hoard coming their way. It didn't matter, due to the fence, but they both turned and went inside anyway.

"You better get outta those wet clothes," Daryl said without thinking. "You'll be gettin' sick."

"I know," she answered. "I thought I'd have a shower and then change."

He was relieved that she wasn't upset with him for what he'd said and he didn't want to push his luck so he just nodded and went to his room to change his own wet clothes. He wanted some time alone anyway. It had been a while since they'd lost someone.


	68. Chapter 66

Daryl lay on his bunk. He wasn't thinking, just listening to the sounds of the fallout. He could hear Lori crying; she cried at everything and he guessed it was because of being pregnant. Herschel, Maggie, Dale, and Glenn's low voices sounded from down the hall. Shane's heavy boots stomped by the door to the cell, anger apparent in the way he walked. Carl and Greg were talking as well and Daryl paid closer attention when he heard Songbird's voice join Maggie's in trying to reassure Herschel.

"It was what she wanted. If it hadn't been this it would have been something else. Please don't hold yourself accountable."

"But it could have been anyone," Herschel said. "I noticed how decayed it was and I didn't think of securing it a different way…I think you're right. They travel in packs now because they're weaker now. But that isn't the point. It was only luck that it grabbed her and not you."

Daryl hadn't thought of that. Songbird did seem to have an inordinate supply of luck. Not that he was complaining. He half sat up when his cell door opened and Songbird poked her head into the room.

"What is it?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay. I don't know how you got designated grave digger…but…"

"I'm okay," he interrupted, not wanting to think about that. "You?"

"I'm sure I'll be fine," she answered in spite of her pale face and the dark circles that had formed under her eyes. "Well…I just wanted to check."

"Yeah," he said. "Go to bed. It's fine."

She turned and left the room. Michelangelo curled up beside her on the bed without her even having to ask and she gave him a kiss on the top of the head before telling him and Emma good night.

Emma woke up before Songbird the next morning and that in itself was odd. Her sister was the disgustingly up and at 'em type. When she glanced over at the bed she saw Michelangelo watching Songbird closely. He glanced at Emma and then nudged Songbird's sleeping form.

"Not now," Emma heard Songbird mutter.

"Hey Songbird?" Emma questioned.

"What?"

"You feeling okay?"

"Freakin' peachy. Let me go back to sleep."

Emma scooted out of bed and walked over at Michelangelo's next pleading look. She put her hand on her sister's head and drew it back quickly.

"You're burning up!"

"It's way too cold in here for me to be burning up," Songbird said in irritation. "Go bug someone else for a while."

Emma changed out of her pajamas quickly and hurried down the hall. Michelangelo followed until she passed Daryl's room and then he stopped.

"What are you doing?" Emma asked. "We need to find Herschel, not Daryl."

If dogs could have shrugged Michelangelo would have. Emma sighed and pushed Daryl's door open.

"What is it?" Daryl asked groggily.

"Um…" Emma wasn't sure what to say. "Michelangelo wanted you."

"Huh?"

He squinted as the dog came in and stared at him.

"What?" he asked. "What could you possibly want right now?"

Michelangelo tugged the blanket down with his teeth and nudged Daryl's side with his cold nose.

"What the fuck?"

"I think he's worried about Songbird," Emma offered. "She's not up yet and she's got a fever."

Daryl stood up and pushed past Emma quickly.

"Go get Herschel," he ordered over his shoulder.

"That's where I was…" she began, but he was already halfway down the hall. Michelangelo gave her a smug look that said, "_Now_ we're getting somewhere."

"You know what?" she called after he turned to follow Daryl. "You _are_ a chauvinist."

Daryl walked into Songbird and Emma's room and straight over to Songbird's bed. He laid his hand on her forehead and then shook her awake.

"What?" she snapped groggily.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked.

"I don't feel good. My head hurts, and my stomach hurts, and I'm freezing."

He pulled two of the blankets off of Emma's bed and piled them on top of her.

"Songbird I need you to let me look…make sure you didn't get scratched the other day," he said it casually; as if there was something he could do if she had been.

She opened her eyes for the first time and he saw fear flash there. She pushed herself upright and pushed her pajama pants down. Daryl looked down the length of her legs and then motioned for her to turn over. No marks.

"And it couldn't have gotten you anywhere else?" he asked.

"No," she said with a shake of her head.

"Okay. Then you're okay."

He helped her get the pants back where they belonged, which he considered his good deed for the day, and tucked her in again. He couldn't resist pushing her hair off her face and when he did, she caught his hand.

"Don't leave yet."

"I won't."

Herschel came in looking worried so Daryl informed him immediately that Songbird wasn't bitten or scratched. Emma's face told him that she hadn't even thought of the possibility. The cursory examination Herschel was able to give yielded the vague diagnoses of some kind of bug.

"We'll just make sure she gets lots of fluids and rest," he said. "And keep an eye on her." He patted Songbird's shoulder and said, "Get some sleep dear."

She nodded and closed her eyes. Daryl stayed until she fell asleep and then forced himself to stand up. The temptation to get in bed with her was nearly overwhelming. Why was Rick's advice so damn hard to follow?

"Let me know if she needs anything," he said to Emma.

She nodded and he walked out.

Over the next few days Songbird only woke up long enough to drink the water or soup that people handed her, and to go to the bathroom. She was aware that someone was pretty much always sitting with her, but she didn't think that Daryl had come back again.

The first day she felt like talking it was Freddy who was by her beside. He was reading a tattered copy of Animal Farm.

"Where'd you get that?" she asked.

"Dale's library. How are you feeling?"

"I'm not actively wishing for death so that's an improvement," she answered as she reached for the broth and took a sip.

"Wanting to live is the first step to recovery," Freddy agreed. "I've been worried about you."

"Did I do anything embarrassing? Say incriminating things in my sleep?" she asked, only half joking.

"Nah. At least not in front of me or Emma. I haven't interviewed…what?"

She raised her eyebrow further and said, "You and Emma?"

"What? No!" Freddy felt himself blushing and cursed his red head complexion. "I…she…she's only 16!"

Songbird only sipped her soup.

"I couldn't really help seeing her could I?" Freddy went on. "This is her room too. And if we happened to be in the cafeteria at the same time that's not really abnormal is it? I've hardly had time to talk to her at all."

"Methinks the gentleman doth protest too much."

"I'm not banging a 16 year old! And anyway," he went on since the best defense is a good offense, "What kind of sister are you? Pawning her off on a guy eleven years older than her?"

"Daryl's 18 years older than me," she said with amusement. "It's obviously not high on my priority list. But…maybe you and Emma aren't right for each other."

"About time you decide to see some reason," he began.

"The world isn't ready for level of adorable awkwardness that your children would bring," she finished sadly. "Think of them! All red haired and socially inept…"

"I'm glad you're feeling better," Freddy said dryly. "I think my work here is done."

Songbird smiled to herself as he walked out. She sat up slowly and, when her head didn't spin, she stood. It was definitely shower time.

In the shower she took extra time to lather her hair and, since she was feeling good and the shower room had such nice acoustics, she began to sing an old favorite song.

"I keep on fallin' in and out of love with you

sometimes I love you

sometimes you make me blue

sometimes I feel good

at times I feel used

loving you darlin' makes me so confused"

It felt so good to sing again that she kept it up as she dried off and dressed. She was in the middle of the chorus of another song when she stepped into the hallway and found people gathered around.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," Emma said, "I've never heard you sing before. You're really good!"

"Oh. I'm not spectacular or anything…"

"So you're feelin' better?"

"Yes," she answered Daryl awkwardly. "Mostly."

"Good."

"I wish I could sing."

Songbird thanked God for Emma and her awkwardness at that moment. Why was Daryl staring at her that way? If he cared that much then wouldn't he have visited her at least once?

"Singing isn't that hard. You just have to find the right song for your voice," Songbird explained.

"Want something to eat that isn't soup?" Andrea asked. "There's rabbit in the cafeteria."

"Sounds good to me."

They headed down the hall. Daryl hung back until Rick caught up.

"You're full of shit you know that right?" Daryl asked.

"What'd I do now?"

"She ain't made one damn move my way. And anyway I'm a man damnit. Ain't it supposed to be us that does the chasin'?"

"Did she say anything to you when she was sick?"

"I wasn't in there! I was doin' what you said!"

Rick shook his head sadly.

"I don't know how you ever got a woman in the first place," he said. "You can't just…you can't…no. My days of advising your romantic affairs are over."

Rick walked faster and Daryl snorted.

"Pussy."

"You know what?" Songbird said after a long glance at Emma. "I hate you."

"What? Why?"

"You're just 16 and your boobs are bigger than mine."

"Yeah, well, at least you don't have the same issues that I do."

"What issues?"

"Underwear issues," Emma whispered. "I'm outgrowing certain articles of clothing that are pretty vital."

"Ah. I see. Maybe we could go looting."

"I'm not wearing other people's underwear!"

"That's something we should all be equally vehement about," Freddy said as he walked by.

"Oh no," Emma facepalmed as she groaned the words. "Why am I such an idiot around him?"

"You're not. And anyway, he is too. So, if not looting, then maybe a trip to the mall. I haven't done that in a while."

"Where are we going to find a mall?"

"There was one in town," Maggie said as she sat down beside them. "But it burned down during all the looting."

Songbird sighed and Emma put her chin in her hands.

"There was another one about thirty miles from here though," Maggie continued. "Although good luck getting anyone to take you."

Songbird glanced up and saw Daryl talking to Dale.

"I've got an idea. Follow my lead."

She stood and walked near.

"I can't believe Glenn said no," she said loudly. "He's a total wuss. I guess now we'll never be able to get the stuff now."

"What'd you ask Glenn for?" Daryl asked.

"A ride to the mall," she explained. "But he won't."

"The hell you wanna go to the mall for?" he asked in disbelief.

"Girl stuff," Songbird answered with a discreet glance at Emma's tee shirt. Daryl followed the gaze and then abruptly contemplated the ceiling.

"Yeah well, Glenn's right. Ya'll can't just…" he bit his tongue when Songbird crossed her arms. "I don't know."

"It's not just us," she pointed out. "What about Lori? That baby only has two sleepers—"

"Thanks," Lori said dryly.

"Sorry," Songbird said with a blush.

"I'd go," Axel said eagerly. "I ain't been outside these gates for a real long time, you follow me?"

In the end it worked out pretty well, more people thought it was a good idea than a bad one, and Glenn was very surprised to find that he was one of the ones against it. They planned the trip for two days later, to give Songbird some time to get back on her feet.

"What we could have done is put her in the infirmary," Axel said casually.

"There's an infirmary?" Rick asked in a level tone.

"Oh yeah what kind of prison wouldn't?"

It did seem obvious when he put it like that. Daryl took a bite of rabbit and glanced at Rick, Andrea, and Shane. He figured he knew what they'd all be doing after supper.


	69. Chapter 67

1.

The infirmary was Walker free, which was disappointing. The worst trouble they were going to have out of the place was conquering dust bunnies. It wasn't exactly Daryl's thing. He poked through the supply closets and tried to look busy enough to avoid cleaning detail. It worked for the most part. Then Andrea caught on and handed him a broom. He propped it against the wall.

"Sweep," she ordered.

"I'm busy."

"Doing what?"

He shrugged and said, "Look out duty."

"Uh huh." Andrea looked unconvinced.

Michelangelo walked over and head butted Daryl in the hip, then looked at the door.

"What's your problem?"

The dog gave him a look that Daryl read as, "I'm busting us both out of here and you should follow my lead dude."

"I gotta take him out," Daryl said quickly. "Unless ya'll want a bigger mess to clean up."

"Uh huh," Andrea repeated.

"Thanks," Daryl said in an undertone as he and Michelangelo walked up the hall. "You're a damn good dog."

Michelangelo twitched one ripped up ear and gave Daryl a grin.

2.

The gathering in the garage two days later was loud and excited. Finally Rick whistled loudly and the pandemonium slowly ceased.

"Shopping lists!" Rick ordered.

Lori handed him theirs and pulled Carl to the side for a long talk. The kid was going and Lori was not pleased. Songbird thought it was the right decision, but when she'd ventured that opinion she'd been informed in no uncertain terms that it was not welcome. And also that the last time Carl had gone somewhere with his dad he'd gotten shot. That would have weakened her case anyway.

They weren't taking the RV so that had limited the amount of people that were able to go. Axel, Maggie, Glenn, Rick, Carl, Brad, Emma, Greg, Songbird, Freddy, and Daryl, were all going to pile into Brad's Subaru, Daryl's truck, and Shane's Jeep. The rest were going to hold down the fort.

"Okay, let's get a move on," Daryl said. "Ain't got all damn day."

Freddy, Glenn and Maggie settled themselves into the Jeep to take point since Maggie knew how to get to the mall. Brad, Greg, Carl, Rick headed for the Subaru.

"Come on Emma," Brad said.

"I'm riding with Songbird and Daryl," Emma said innocently, ensuring that her sister would be riding where she was supposed to be riding.

"Get in then," Daryl said gruffly, trying not to let her see how relieved he was that she'd be with him without him having to ask.

Emma shoved Songbird into the truck and then followed her.

"Scoot over," Songbird hissed as Daryl walked around.

"Over where?" Emma asked innocently. "If I lean against the door it might come open and I'll fall out and then I'll die."

"That's a load of bullsh—" Songbird broke off when Daryl sat down beside her, his arm brushing hers as he reached for the gearshift.

"What ya'll arguin' about now?" he asked.

"Nothing," they chorused.

The Jeep pulled out of the garage and the Subaru followed. Daryl brought up the lead. They saw Dale, Shane and Andrea close the gates behind them.

"Why'd Shane stay?" Emma asked.

"An extra gun to protect the place," Daryl answered with sarcasm dripping from his voice. "How far away's this mall?"

"Maggie said around thirty miles," Songbird answered.

"Got any music?" Emma asked a few moments later.

Daryl reached across just as Songbird leaned forward and she ended up banging her nose against his shoulder. Emma giggled.

"Bite me," Songbird said, rubbing her nose vigorously so she wouldn't sneeze.

"Glove box," Daryl said, putting both hands on the wheel again.

Emma took the CD case out and Songbird promptly snatched it away. Music! She flipped through and sighed.

"Nothing but country?"

"There was…oh," he risked a glance over at her. "I guess some of 'em ended up gettin' left at the compound. Told you not to be takin' shit out and not puttin' it back."

Songbird put a CD in and prepared to learn some new tunes. She liked country okay, but it wasn't exactly her go-to genre. She pressed fast forward, skimming through the songs until Daryl smacked her hand.

"Give it a chance," he ordered.

"Oo!" Emma squealed when the next song started. "Turn it up!"

Why the hell not? Daryl cranked it up a little. Songbird smiled as Emma began to dance. It wasn't that Emma had no rhythm; it was just that she was outfitted in riot gear that was at least a size too big while she was gettin' down.

Songbird picked up the chorus and joined Emma the next time it came around.

"County girl shake it for me girl,

shake it for me girl, shake it for me"

Admittedly not hard to memorize. And really fun to sing.

"Do you have Carrie Underwood?" Emma asked eagerly. "Or Reba McIntyre?"

"Daryl wouldn't have…"

Daryl cleared his throat and Songbird's mouth dropped open.

"Deena did," he hurried to explain. "They just ended up in my stuff and I…"

"It's okay," Emma said seriously. "I don't think any less of you."

"Thanks," Daryl said dryly.

They passed the time singing all Emma's favorites, Cowboy Casanova, Fancy, Before He Cheats, The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia, and a few that Songbird didn't know, but found immensely entertaining like Hicktown, and Pickin' Wildflowers. They could see the mall when a slower song came on, one neither Songbird nor Emma knew.

Daryl reached to fast forward, but Songbird liked the sound of the music so she stopped him.

"God gave me you for the ups and downs,

God gave me you for the days of doubt,

and for when I think I've lost my way,

there are no words here left to say, it's true.

God gave me you."

She glanced automatically at Daryl. He never sang, not out loud, but she saw that he was forming the words in time to the song.

"On my own I'm only half of what I could be

I can't do without you

We are stitched together and what love has tethered

I pray we never undo"

He pulled into the parking lot and Songbird caught her breath and forced her gaze away from him. The sight out there was enough to get anyone out of the warm fuzzies.

"Daryl," she whispered, without thinking.

Emma unconsciously leaned even further away from the window, pressing Songbird back into Daryl. Daryl put his hand on Songbird's shoulder and felt her shudder.

"All right," he said after a moment. "Let's get out. Can't hurt nothin' now."

He swung the crossbow over his shoulder the minute his feet touched the ground and he helped the girls out since they looked so shaken. Not that he could blame them; he felt pretty damn sick himself.

There were piles of Walkers heaped up in the parking spaces; they were hung from the shopping cart racks; they were splattered like ripe melons in areas near the roof. Some had been nailed to light poles, some were still "alive" but they were too crippled to do anything but growl weakly. Many of them had been gutted down to the spine, some had had their spines ripped out, leaving them able to do nothing more than flop like fish.

"My God," Rick said under his breath. "Who would…how could they have done this without getting infected themselves?"

"Maybe it didn't happen to Walkers," Axel said. "I mean, maybe…whoever did it, did it live people you follow me?"

Songbird followed all too well. She pressed her hand to her mouth.

"I don't want to go in there," Emma said in a small voice.

"I think that's a good idea," Brad seconded. "We don't know if it's empty."

"Quick way to find out," Daryl said. "Ah fuckin' hear me out!" he said a few moments later over the general chorus of voices. "These things are pretty old, Skin fallin' off the bone. Ain't no fresh tracks through all this…"

"Walker sludge," Carl supplied when Daryl gestured wordlessly at the gore.

"Walker sludge," Daryl agreed. It was as good a word as any.

"There's no fresh blood," Freddy contributed.

"I was gettin' there," Daryl snapped. "I say it's worth a look. We came this far. Now, I know this is sick shit…but hell, we promised that we'd try. Actin' like a pussy in the parkin' lot ain't tryin' real hard in my book."

"Well, it's my book too," Songbird said. "And you cannot go in there by yourself."

"I ain't stupid. I was gonna ask Glenn if he'd go. And you. I'm the quietest; ya'll's the sneakiest."

"All right," Songbird said after a moment. "I'm in."

"No," Maggie said vehemently. "Glenn!"

"I can't let them go by themselves," Glenn said. "This is sort of something Daryl and I do…it's like bonding."

Daryl snorted and said, "If nobody's killed him yet ain't nobody gonna. Least of all on my watch."

"Songbird," Brad said.

"It'll be fine," she cut in. "I'll be fine," she repeated to Freddy. "Someone needs to stay out here…just in case."

"Be careful," Freddy said with an uneasy glance at the dark mall and its broken windows. "There were some sick fuckers around here. Keep your guard up."

"I will. You too. Don't let anything happen to them."

"If ya'll hear a gunshot then get the hell outta here," Daryl said as he walked away.

Someone had busted the glass out of the doors and Daryl glanced Songbird's way to make sure she was all right. He didn't see how she could get hurt, but it was impulse damn it. She looked okay, just a little pale.

They all listened closely as they walked but no one heard anything except silence and the occasional chirp of a bird that had taken up residence. There were several nests in the rafters. That above all else told Daryl the place was deserted. He doubted birds would move in with Walker gutting freaks.

"Look at all the dust on the floor," Songbird whispered.

"And no footprints," Daryl said. "Let's head on up."

There were several more Walker corpses hanging from the upper balconies; it looked like they'd been used for target practice. The only good thing Songbird could think of about that was that they were at least dead for good.

"This is sick," Glenn muttered.

"Yeah. I ain't sure how much stuff we're even gonna come away with," Daryl said. "Just about every store's been fucked with."

"It looks like they just broke glass and threw stuff on the floor though," Songbird said as she glanced into an Aeropostale. "We'd be washing it anyway."

After another twenty minutes Daryl turned and faced them.

"Ya'll satisfied?" he asked.

Glenn and Songbird nodded and they walked down the stalled escalator and out into the sun quickly.

"Looks deserted," Daryl reported. "There's a few more Walkers hangin', but there ain't anything we need to worry about. Ya'll should still keep your guard up though."

"No splitting up," Rick ordered. "Everyone keep an eye on their team members. Brad, Emma and Greg. Glenn and Maggie. Me and Carl. Daryl and Songbird. Oh and Axle and Freddy."

"Thanks," Axle said dryly. "I was feeling lonely."

Songbird patted his shoulder sympathetically and they went inside. They'd all brought bags and they went into stores systematically. Emma blushed furiously when everyone trooped into the underwear store, but Songbird figured it was worse on the guys in the long run. Freddy especially seemed to be having a rough time. Songbird could see that he was blushing, even in the low light. She, Emma and Maggie gathered up a wide selection in various sizes to accommodate all the women and any future growth spurts Emma dared to have, and beat it out of there as fast as possible.

They really lucked out at the baby stuff; apparently it was the one thing that people just didn't think to loot. After a hushed conversation Glenn and Maggie added another boxed crib to the one Rick had put near the escalator. Songbird tried not to let them see her mouth drop open. Was Maggie pregnant or were they just being practical? Emma elbowed her and looked at the crib significantly.

Songbird shrugged and said, "We'll talk later," in an undertone.

They stocked up on cloth diapers and pins, sleepers, and other essentials. Songbird snuck some Soothie pacifiers into her bag as a present to the new baby. They were adorable. She snuck another set in just in case she ever had a baby of her own. Maybe not as practical as a crib, but less likely to give Daryl heart failure. Or Freddy. She raised her hand to hide a smile. They'd both flip. It would be almost worth the joke, but she knew it'd make Emma cry. She'd tried her hardest not to…but she really liked Emma. And Greg. And even Brad…most of the time.

They managed to get most of the items on the lists, a testament to lowered expectations more than actual selection then they loaded up the vehicles and then went back in to see if anything else struck their fancy. Songbird, Emma and Brad filled a bag each at the bookstore. Carl and Greg took some Lego sets. Daryl got a new pocketknife and a whetstone and all the toothpaste he could carry. Axel just wandered, seeming content enough to be somewhere that wasn't prison. Rick added a few more odds and ends for the baby. Freddy picked up a collar for Michelangelo and handed it to Songbird.

"Think he'll like it?" he asked.

"He does need a new one," she said. "His is all frayed. I'll tell him it was your idea."

"Thanks. Hey will you cover for me? I'll be right back and I don't want my buddy to freak out."

"Where are you going?" Songbird asked, but he didn't answer.

She chewed her lip in anxiety until he turned up again, giving her a grin.

"Thanks."

"You didn't even get anything," she hissed.

He only shrugged.

The group headed back out eventually and once Songbird was safely in the truck she opened her bag from the bookstore and turned to the first page of Pride and Prejudice while Emma fiddled with something covertly.

When Daryl's attention was on the road Emma leaned up and pushed a CD into the CD player.

"Oh oh oh oh I'm in love with Judas…"

"What the fuck is this?"

"Lady Gaga," Songbird answered Daryl's shocked question. "It's Emma's. You say no to the puppy eyes if you think you're man enough."

He transferred his look to Emma who gave him a smile as she lip synched.

"I couldn't love a man so purely,

Even prophets forgave his crooked ways,

I've learned love is like a brick, you can

build a house or sink a dead body."

Daryl sighed and pulled onto the highway. He'd never admit it out loud…but that was some catchy shit.


	70. Chapter 68

1.

The ride back wasn't eventful. Songbird craned her neck to read the road signs and then compared them to the map she'd brought with her. They weren't far from Alabama actually. Her finger traced the map as she went over the route she and Freddy had took in, trying to see if there was a quicker way out. Emma leaned over to see what she was doing and traced a different path.

"This is where my house is," she said, pointing to an area near Toccoa Georgia.

Daryl glanced over at the map and said, "Hey, ya'll were only about an hour and somethin' away from my house."

"That's cool," Emma said with a smile. "Do you think we can ever go back?"

Daryl shook his head and said, "I don't know what your neighborhood was like, but in mine there was tons of lootin' and shit. Anything I left behind is either gone or covered in Walker sludge."

"The police evacuated us," Emma said. "Told us to get to Atlanta. It was a pretty nice neighborhood. It was on a golf course."

"Nice," Songbird said appreciatively. "I wonder if someone looted Papa Tony's RV." She found that she didn't want to think about that possibility, so to distract herself she decided to see what towns were near the prison.

"Woodbury," Emma said after a few moments. "That sounds pretty."

"Mm hmm," Songbird agreed.

"I got somethin' prettier for ya'll," Daryl said. "Home sweet home."

He beeped the horn and Shane led the others out to open the gates. There was general chaos as the vehicles were unloaded but eventually everything was sorted out. Lori looked happy with the crib and the clothes and she gave Songbird a smile of thanks when she gave her the pacifiers.

Herschel didn't look too thrilled at the addition of a second crib and Songbird was torn between laughter and alarm when she saw him steer Glenn not too gently into the corner of the garage. Glenn shook his head emphatically several times and eventually Maggie walked over to rescue him. From her gestures and the relief on Herschel's face, Songbird gathered that they were not expecting.

"Why get a crib if you aren't having a baby?" Emma asked softly.

"Better safe than sorry," Songbird said with a shrug. "Or maybe they're going to try."

"You really think they would?" Daryl asked in surprise.

"I don't know," she answered. She hadn't known he was standing there. "It looks like it…but they haven't said anything to me."

"That'd be…don't you think that'd be kinda irresponsible?"

She shrugged and said, "They've survived this far. The baby would be safe here. It'd be super safe at the compound. Liz is raising Shaun Jr. there right now."

"Liz?" Daryl asked. "How'd she get there?"

"We went and got her," Songbird answered. "And the rest. Everyone who was left that is, before we left. We had to leave someone to take care of things. The animals weren't going to feed themselves. Vicky's back too," she added, just to see what he'd do.

Daryl felt his face twist momentarily in distaste as he asked, "What'd ya'll do? Just go pick up everybody you knew?"

"Not exactly. The people in Area Three came to us," Freddy said, hefting Maggie and Glenn's crib onto his shoulder and ignoring the look Daryl cast him. "They had a fire. Lost about half of their people…"

"Abram die?" Daryl cut in. He didn't relish talking to Freddy, but he had to know if that bastard had gotten what was coming to him.

"Yeah. He got bitten, his parents hid it. He took a lot of people out with him. Women and children…Ryan brought the survivors to the compound. We let them stay."

"Your bleedin' heart sister woulda done the same damn thing," Daryl said gruffly.

"Yeah," Freddy said with a half smile. "She would have haunted me for sure if I'd turned them down."

Emma's eyes were full of questions, but Songbird only loaded her down with bags for their room as Freddy turned away. He never talked about losing Lucky, just like Andrea didn't talk about Amy, or Daryl about Merle. Songbird caught up with Freddy in the hall after he'd dropped the crib off.

"What?" he asked.

She wrapped her arms around him and said, "You tell me."

He sighed and rested his chin on her head as he said, "I swear you're a witch. How'd you know?"

"I am the daughter of gypsy fortune teller," she said with a smile. "Out with it."

"I miss home," he answered with a self-deprecating laugh. "I'm terrified that they've fucked it up somehow, that I'll come back and find it burned to the…well, under the ground. That the livestock will be dead or the garden will go all to hell and I won't be able to fix it…"

"I'm so sorry Freddy," she whispered. "I never should have asked you to—"

"You didn't ask," he reminded her. "And I don't regret being there to help you. You haven't forgotten that whole "I love you" thing have you?"

"Of course not. It just seems like a steep price to pay now that I think about it."

"You just have to accept the fact that you're a high maintenance girl," he replied as he ruffled her hair. "And I'll be okay. Just have to get through winter. Then we can head home."

"Hey are you going to help me or what?" Emma called from the room she and Songbird shared. "Half these books are yours! And we've still got clothes in Daryl's truck."

"Have fun," Freddy said, letting her go. "See you at dinner."

The rest of the day was nice. Songbird and Emma piled their books up beside their beds and helped Andrea and Maggie with the laundry. Dale and Brad were on cooking duty and after dinner they all sat around rather companionably. Carl and Greg were playing with their new Lego sets in Greg's room; Lori was crocheting madly, trying to get a baby blanket done, and Rick and Daryl were in Rick's room putting the crib together.

"God this is complicated," Daryl complained.

"It'd be easier with better light," Rick conceded. "But I won't hear the end of it till it's finished."

"If you make it look too good you'll have to put Maggie and Glenn's together too," Daryl said.

"Do you really think they're going to have a baby?" Rick asked, squinting at the directions.

"Songbird says no," Daryl answered as he reached for the screwdriver.

"Been talking to her?" Rick questioned.

"Little bit. She says that it looks like they might be tryin' though. I think that's crazy. Who the hell wants to bring a kid into…" Daryl cut himself off a few words too late.

"You'll be surprised to find that I agree with you," Rick said. "But I guess I can see why they might be thinking that way. And things do seem to be turning around. Maybe it's just a matter of waiting for them to fall apart like Herschel says they might."

"And maybe it ain't."

Rick sort of laughed as he tightened a bolt.

"I can tell you've never had kids. There's never a safe, perfect moment for them. You just have them and pray like hell for the rest of your life."

When Songbird got tired of watching Lori crochet she nudged Emma with the toe of her boot and said, "I'm going to bed."

"Me too," Emma said with a yawn. "Night everyone."

She gasped when Songbird pushed the door open and she saw what was on her bed. Songbird was honestly a bit confused. It was a brown teddy bear with a jaunty red bow tie.

"Uh…what…" she began.

Emma ignored her, snatched the stuffed animal up and hugged it close.

"I had one just like this!" she explained after a moment. "It got lost during one of the times we were running from the Walkers and I never thought I'd see one like him again!"

"Where'd it come from?" Songbird asked. "Did Brad…"

"I don't think he even noticed it," Emma said thoughtfully. "Greg had him looking at the Lego's the entire time we were in the toy store. I don't know who would have…" she stopped suddenly and her cheeks went pink. "I told Freddy."

And he'd disappeared in the vicinity of the toy store and refused to answer questions. Hmmmm…

"Do you think this means he thinks I'm a kid?" Emma asked.

"I think this means he wants you to have that bear," was all Songbird said as she got under the covers. "And he definitely knows that you're alive. So that's one less thing for you to worry about."

"Songbird?" Emma's voice came through the dark a bit later. "Would it be weird if…you know…someday…"

"It's a bear not an engagement ring," Songbird teased. "But I can't think of anyone I'd rather see Freddy with. But not anytime soon. Cause that'd be gross."

"Hey!"

"Calling it like I see it. Good night Em."

"Good night," Emma said huffily.

2.

"No," Songbird said. "You're doin' it wrong."

"You've been saying that for two weeks," Emma said in frustration.

"And for two weeks you've been snapping your dang wrist. You'll never be accurate if you keep snapping your wrist." Songbird walked over and picked up the knife where it lay. "And every time you miss the target you dull the knife even more."

"Daryl has a…"

"I don't care what Daryl has," Songbird snapped.

"What's your problem today anyway?" Greg asked from the corner. "You've been mean all morning."

The problem was that Daryl hadn't really spoken to her since the looting of the mall two weeks before. He'd looked right through her at breakfast again, and Freddy had owned up to giving the bear to Emma. It bothered her more than she wanted to admit.

Freddy had promised, a promise she believed since she'd been bending his pinky finger back when he made it, that he wasn't going try anything with Emma until she was older. If his feelings even lasted that long. It seemed to fluster Freddy that he felt that way about Emma when she was that young. That wasn't what bothered Songbird. It was selfish in the extreme, but it bothered her that he was over her. She'd been used to Freddy, well, not being over her. It was sort of a lonely feeling. Freddy had a thing for Emma; Daryl had an apparent thing for being single…

Lori, who was in the corner of the gym with Carl, Greg, and Andrea, gasped suddenly and sharply. Emma stepped over quickly.

"What's wrong?"

"I think it's time," Lori replied, looking absolutely terrified.

"I'll go get Rick," Songbird said quickly.

She bolted as Emma and Andrea helped Lori up. As she rounded a corner she ran full into Shane and coughed as it knocked the air from her lungs. That man was solid as a brick wall.

"What's the rush?" he asked as he helped her regain her balance.

"Lori's in labor," she explained and then cried out in pain when his hands, steady at first, tightened painfully on her upper arms. "Shane!"

She thought she saw a brief apology in his eyes, but he didn't bother putting it into words.

"Where is she?"

"Infirmary. Where's Rick?"

"Haven't seen him."

He was already headed down the hall. Songbird sighed and started to run again. She finally found Rick outside talking to Axle who was throwing a stick for Michelangelo.

She pointed at Rick and said, "Lori's in labor. You. Infirmary."

Rick headed inside and Songbird leaned over and caught her breath. Michelangelo brought her the stick.

"Thanks," she said dryly. To be a good sport, she tossed it a few more times before heading back inside to check on Lori's progress. She was surprised to see Emma standing outside the infirmary.

"Dad said I'm too young to help with this," Emma explained with a sigh. "So Freddy's helping Herschel. I had no idea he could do stuff like that."

"Yeah well, he's the son of farmers," Songbird said. "He's used to the whole birthing procedure."

"You do think she'll be okay right?" Emma asked nervously.

"Sure," Songbird answered. "This happened all the time in the circus."

"Really?"

"Yep. I was born in a circus trailer and so was my sister River."

"And what did River do?" Emma asked. Songbird hardly ever talked about her circus family and it was best to gather information while the gathering was good.

"She was a contortionist."

"Wow. That's actually a little creepy."

Songbird laughed and nodded.

"I used to have to help her stretch. It was pretty odd, but she had a great personality and her act was a huge draw."

They both winced when they heard Lori cry out, louder than before. Daryl, who was on his way out to the garage, winced too.

"What are ya'll standin' around out here for?" he demanded. "Like the sound of pain?"

"No. But I like babies," Emma said.

"This shit don't happen fast," Daryl informed them, trying to sound like he knew what he was talking about.

Songbird smiled a bit when he went a little pale at Lori's next, louder, cry of pain.

She remembered how worried he'd been back when he'd thought she might be pregnant. She wondered how he'd handle it if it was her in there. She figured he'd be much paler. The thought made her feel wistful. Maybe it would have helped him see her as a grown up if she'd had a baby of her own.

"You laughin' at me?" he asked her, seeing her smile.

"A little," she teased. "You look like you might need some smelling salts from Nurse Emma here."

"Hell, I could stay here all day," he barked. Lori gave a short scream. "But I don't…uh…want to."

"Mmm-hmmm," Songbird said slowly.

He tugged her braid before he thought about it, gave her a half smile and walked off down the hall.

"That's the least awkward exchange I've seen you two have," Emma commented.

"It's how we used to be," Songbird realized out loud. The tension in her stomach dissipated fully for the first time since June.

Emma looked at her sister's face. Songbird looked happier than she'd ever seen her look.

"You _are_ still in love with him!"

The first thing that came to Songbird's mind was the incredibly childish denial, "Am not."

"Are too!" Emma countered with a grin.

"I'm going for a walk," Songbird said stiffly. "Come find me if anything happens."

Emma gave her a salute and Songbird headed for the yard. It was nearly dark which wasn't surprising, since it was midwinter. She'd forgotten her jacket and her hat, so she decided to go for a run to keep herself warm. When she realized her face was numb and it was so dark that she was stumbling over her own feet she turned and jogged back. She was closest to the garage entrance, so she went in that way. Daryl was sitting on his tailgate, restringing Mary Jane.

"Oh," she said, stopping in her tracks. "Um…I didn't know you were here."

"Lori had that baby yet?" he asked.

"No."

She wondered if she should leave. She didn't want to. He glanced up at her, giving her a hint of a smile.

"Can't blame you for wantin' some quiet," he said.

She nodded and walked a bit closer. He worked in silence for a bit longer. It was hard to concentrate on what he was doing with her there.

"So…you don't seem to hate me as much today," she ventured hopefully after all the silence she could take.

He didn't really know how to reply to that so he only shrugged and said, "I don't hate you."

"Freddy was never my boyfriend." Songbird made a face at how immature it sounded.

Daryl's head snapped up. "He wasn't—"

"No. We've really never been more than just friends. We both thought there might be…but there isn't."

"But you acted like there was."

"I was mad at you," she reached out and plucked the bowstring with her finger.

It was weird but a shiver ran through him when she did. It should have made him mad…but she was always so damn honest that it was hard to be. And he'd said some really mean things to her that day.

"I was hoping you and I could be friends too," she ventured on when he didn't yell at her.

"Last time we tried to be friends I ended up fuckin' you," Daryl answered. "So…yeah, I say we go for it."

Her mouth dropped open and she scrambled for something to say until she realized he was trying not to smile.

"Opportunist," she accused.

"You got me. Hey, if you ain't doin' nothin' you oughta sharpen them knives. Here."

He rummaged around and handed her the whetstone he'd picked up in the mall, then scooted over to make room on the tailgate. She closed her hand around the stone for a second and then joined him. His arm brushed hers when he reached back to lay the old strings out of the way and she shivered. She spat on the whetstone and drew the first knife across, leaning down to see more clearly. Daryl reached out and brushed her hair back.

"You're gonna get all tangled up."

"I should just cut it off," she admitted. "It—"

"Don't," he interrupted. "I know I ain't supposed to tell you what to do anymore, but…don't."

He drew his hand away slowly and she swallowed hard. The sex they'd had in the weeks before they'd ended things had left her cold, but that brush of his fingers had her entire body humming suddenly. She didn't know how to react to it. She tried to think about anything other than what being with him was like.

"You okay?" he asked, noticing that her face had flushed and her hands had gone still.

"Yes," she answered. "I'm good."

Daryl's hands went still too. It had to be his imagination, but didn't he recognize that tone in her voice? Another swift glance at her told him she was biting her lower lip. Did she…?

"Songbird…"

"What?" she asked abruptly.

Daryl laid the crossbow down slowly and turned to face her. He could see her breathing quicken. He reached out again, tracing her cheek with his index finger. When her lips parted he ran his finger over them and she closed her eyes. He moved down her throat and around, cupping the back of her neck and drawing her to within an inch of his own lips.

The realization that he'd left the decision up to her made Songbird lean in and kiss him. It was a slow kiss, one that explored possibilities and did its best to ease old hurts, one of those kisses that seems like it can't last long enough. As much as he didn't want to, Daryl was the one that pulled back first.

A small disappointed sigh was all Songbird was capable of giving; words failed her. Then she realized why he'd stopped. Someone was calling for her from the side of the garage.

"Songbird!" It was Andrea. "Lori had the baby! Want to come with me to take a look?"

"Sure," Songbird called back.

She looked at Daryl; he reached out and brushed her hair back.

"We oughta talk later," he said.

"You know where to find me," she replied.


	71. Chapter 69

"She's beautiful Lori," Songbird said, looking down into the newborns face.

It was a stretch of the truth of course, in Songbird's opinion all newborns looked like turtles without shells, but she also meant every word. The baby opened dark blue eyes at the sound of Songbird's voice and then closed them again peacefully. Songbird ran the tip of her finger over the baby's soft cheek.

"What did you name her?"

"Judith," Rick answered. "Probably Judy for short."

Songbird glanced up when the door opened again and Daryl walked in. She hadn't really expected that he'd come in. Lori and Rick looked a bit surprised as well.

"Got ya'll somethin'," Daryl said as he dug through his pockets. "She ain't gonna be able to use it yet, but when she gets a little older…" at length he pulled a small stuffed dog from one pocket and a yellow rattle from the other.

Lori, who was still emotional, actually looked like she might cry.

"That's so sweet Daryl."

"Yeah well," Daryl shrugged. "We was out there. It wasn't…there wasn't no reason not to. Uh…"

"Do you want to hold her?" Lori asked.

"God no!"

Songbird laughed softly and said, "You could get a _little_ closer. She's not going go for your jugular I promise."

Daryl edged over till he was standing beside Songbird and looked down at the tiny infant. He tended to avoid newborns. Did they all look like that or was there something wrong with this one? Its nose was kind of flat and its face was red.

"Her name's Judith. Isn't she beautiful?" Songbird prompted.

"Sure. Yeah." He reached out tentatively and ran his finger over the baby's cheek. "Uh…good name."

"Thanks," Rick said with a grin at Daryl. "Sure you don't want to hold her?"

Songbird raised an eyebrow when Daryl took a half step back. The baby began to make a small crying sound and Daryl looked vindicated. Songbird passed Judith back to Lori to be nursed and Daryl got the hell out of there.

Shane was in the hall when he opened the door. Songbird ran into Daryl when he stopped suddenly. They stepped forward and Daryl pulled the door shut.

"Hey Shane," she said. "I…were you…"

Shane snorted out a laugh and said, "You really think they wanna see me right now?"

"I don't know," Songbird answered awkwardly.

"You oughta go in there and just see the baby," Daryl said. "Part of that whole community spirit program we're all supposed to be on."

Shane only shrugged. Songbird took a step forward.

"I'll be in my room," she said to the floor so it wouldn't look like she was propositioning Daryl.

It was everything he could do not to follow her up the hall.

"Let me ask you this," Shane asked. "If that was her…would you let Freddy in that room right now?"

"Fuck no. But I ain't Rick. And you and me ain't been friends our whole lives."

"What if that kid's mine?" Shane asked bluntly.

"Look, I seen the kid okay? Right now it don't look like none of ya'll. I don't know what to tell you to do Shane. It's shitty, fucked up situation…but Rick's gonna raise that kid like it's his so you might as well act like there ain't no chance its yours," Daryl said.

"I'm not sure I can do that," Shane said. "I'm not sure I should _have_ to do that."

"And just what do you think you're gonna do about it?" Daryl asked. He understood the anger in Shane's voice but he didn't like the calculating look in his eyes.

"I don't see that you need to be concerned about it," Shane answered. "Or have you appointed yourself Rick's watchdog?"

Daryl stepped forward slightly; Shane did as well. Maggie's voice came down the hall.

"I heard Lori had the baby. You guys been in to see her?"

"Yeah," Daryl answered, keeping his gaze on Shane as he opened the door for Maggie and Glenn.

Shane walked away down the hall and Daryl looked into the room. Glenn was talking to Rick while Maggie was cooing over the baby. He guessed he'd just talk to Rick tomorrow. He kind of had something else to attend to anyway.

He turned and walked up the hall to Songbird's room. They should probably talk. He didn't want to talk.

Songbird had given up on trying to read. She couldn't focus on the words. She also felt like she'd recently touched a live wire. She was much too aware of her whole body. She and Daryl needed to talk. To talk, she'd have to be able to think. She couldn't seem to do that. The creak of the cell door made her jump.

Songbird stood up when Daryl walked in but he didn't stop moving until he'd backed her up against the wall. He braced his hands on the concrete block on either side of her head so that he wouldn't be tempted to let them stray. Then he simply looked his fill at her. He saw her throat contract when she swallowed hard, saw her lips part on a slow exhale, watched her pulse pound in her neck as her heart rate shot up. He could see the tension in her lithe form and he was dying to relieve it. He didn't know whether or not he should…and then without any real rational thought or conscious decision, he took her mouth with his.

She was relieved when he kissed her. His gaze had raked over her so thoroughly that she'd felt stripped. Songbird pressed her palms to the block wall behind her, relishing the last cool touch before heat swept through her body with his kiss. It wasn't gentle like the one in the truck, it wasn't even brutal and possessive the way their first kiss had been. It was simply devastatingly thorough. As it continued she realized that she felt stripped of more than just clothes; it was as if he was manipulating raw nerves.

Daryl clenched his hands and felt the rough wall scrape his knuckles. The sensation of pain didn't touch the pleasure. It was ridiculous to feel that he was somehow keeping it innocent by keeping his hands to himself, but it was something to hold on to. Maybe that was why he was holding his body so rigidly distant. Was he still thinking he was somehow going to let her come to him? He hadn't left much space.

Songbird gave up and pushed herself off the wall with both hands. Shoving her body against his, twining her arms around his neck, wrapping her legs around his waist, closing the gap that was frustrating her.

Daryl moved his hands now, one cradling the back of her head, the other at the small of her back as he pushed her tighter against the wall. Her legs tightened around him and the pleasure that was already stronger than he'd ever thought possible ratcheted up another notch or two. His body felt like a bow strung too tight. Maybe he was getting too old for this. Her fingers tightened in his hair and he felt her breasts push against his chest when she arched her back. Oh well, if he was going to have a heart attack he'd go out happy.

It was happening too fast. She knew they needed to talk but hell, she wasn't made of stone! She wanted nothing more in this moment than to have him naked and in bed with her. This must be what being sexist felt like.

She didn't register the creaking sound of the cell door opening, but it was impossible to miss the squeak of surprise that followed. Daryl let her go so fast that Songbird would have stumbled if it weren't for her quick reflexes. As luck would have it, Emma wasn't alone. Freddy stood behind her and Songbird saw a brief flash of something like possessiveness in his eyes before he raised an eyebrow. She guessed she'd feel the same way if she caught him with a girl. A girl like her sister. What the hell was Freddy doing in their room with Emma?

"What are you doing?" she asked, catching her breath.

"Nothing like that," Emma blurted out.

Freddy laughed and said, "I was going to borrow a book Emma mentioned."

"My room?" Daryl asked Songbird in an undertone.

"Yes. No. Um…give me a little while please," she said.

He started to argue and then he realized that she was shaking.

"Okay. You know where to find me," he said instead.

"Emma, I know this is going to sound crazy," Songbird said after taking a deep breath. "But will you let me talk to Freddy for a second?"

"Um…sure," Emma muttered.

"Em. It's just a talk," Songbird said. "It won't take long and then you can get that book…or whatever."

Emma only nodded, but she gave her sister a smile before she left the room.

"You're not going to try to break my pinky are you?" Freddy asked. "Because I really am just here for a book."

"No," Songbird said, sitting down on her bunk. "Oh Freddy I don't know what to do!"

"About what?" he asked as he took a seat beside her.

"About…what you just saw. I…I don't want to rush back in…not without talking…but…"

"But talking isn't your strong suit?" Freddy teased gently.

"It really isn't," Songbird agreed despondently. "We never really talked much after I got back. I'm…scared."

"Of Daryl?"

"No. Not exactly. Of being helpless. Of giving in, losing my freedom. Of losing him again. Of everything apparently."

She raked her hands through her hair in frustration and Freddy gave her a brief side hug.

"There's only one thing to do," he said seriously.

"What?" she asked eagerly. She'd known Freddy would fix it!

"Talk to each other. And…I know you like it, and God knows you're good at it, but I don't think you should start sleeping with him yet. It clouds issues."

"I hate you."

"I know. But the advice is kick ass and you know it."

"Yeah. Okay. Thanks Freddy. And thanks for not being all…you know."

"I do. For second there though, honestly, I wanted to kick his ass. It was weird," Freddy admitted.

"I'll probably feel like that when you get a girl. But I promise not to be a bitch about it," Songbird promised.

"You're too adorable to be much of a bitch. Now, go talk. Stay on opposite sides of the room."

"Girl scouts honor. But…maybe you could stop by after about twenty minutes?"

"I'll send Emma. That'll make it worse. You don't want to let her catch you in the act."

"You're always thinking," she said with a nervous grin. "I'll see you later."

"You'll be fine."

Daryl paced around his room in agitation. The cell had never felt smaller. He'd been okay with forgetting about her and Freddy, but then that cell door had opened and he hadn't missed the brief look in Freddy's eyes. He didn't think that the guy would have acted on it since it went away so fast, but it did remind Daryl that Freddy had reason to feel that way. It might not have lasted long, but for a while there Songbird had been doing the same things with Freddy that she'd done with him. He remembered Rick's advice about forgetting, but he couldn't seem to manage it at the moment. He couldn't get the picture of the two of them out of his head and it pissed him off. But he was also desperate to finish what he'd started with her. It was an odd combination. In the past when he was done with a woman, he was _done_ with her. It seemed like what he felt for Songbird didn't die so easily.

"God, I don't know what to do," he muttered. "What should I do?"

He considered it a divine response when the door eased open and Songbird said, "I think we should talk. Before we um…"

"Mess the whole thing up again?" he finished.

"Yeah," she answered in relief.

"Sit down then," he said. "Not there," he went on when she sat on his bed. "That's just…up there. Go up there."

She gave him a half smile and climbed up to the top bunk. He did the same and they faced each other across the cell.

"I know it looks fuckin' stupid," he said self consciously. "But it's just about the only way I'm gonna keep my hands off you."

"That's okay," she answered. "I feel the same way."

Silence seemed to rush in, effectively filling the space between them with awkwardness. She wished she'd asked Freddy for some conversation pointers. She knew that she'd talked to Daryl in the past. Why was it so hard now?

"So," Daryl said. "You wanted to talk…"

"We should talk. We never really did after I got back."

More silence.

"Okay this is fucked up," Daryl said a bit later. "We used to talk all the damn time. You been talkin' nonstop since the day we met. Say somethin'."

"I want us to get back together," she blurted out.

"Me too."

"Really? Just like that?" Songbird asked.

"I never wanted us to break up," Daryl pointed out. "You're the one that left."

"What was I supposed to do? Stay and let you treat me like…like…I don't even…" she took a deep breath when she felt her temper slipping; it was something she'd learned when she was training with Freddy. "Maybe we should talk about that. Why I left."

"I don't wanna know why you left," Daryl lied. Rick had told him not to think about it. How the hell was he going to not think about it with her talking about it? "Shouldn't we just forget all that?"

Songbird thought for a moment and then shook her head.

"I don't think so. If I never understand you, and you never understand me, then we're not going to be happy for very long. And…"she blushed as she went on, "I really think you and I are perfect for each other. If we can work this out."

Daryl started to protest, not about them being perfect for each other because that part was damn right, but about the talking, and then realized that her words rang truer than what Rick had said. Maybe it worked for Lori and Rick, but it wouldn't work for them. Maybe he couldn't avoid hearing about her and Freddy.

"All right," he said. "But it's gonna take a while if you want me to hold onto my temper."

"All right," she repeated. "Then we should just accept the fact that we aren't going to be having sex tonight."

He sighed and nodded.

"Wish I hadn't kissed you like that then," he said.

"Oh really?" she asked with a half smile.

"Okay, maybe not. So, where do we start?"

"Where do you want to start?"

"Why not the very beginning?" Daryl suggested, to delay the story of her and Freddy. "How'd you get back to the compound?"

"Very carefully," Songbird answered.

He listened as she explained walking through Walker infested areas until they came to an area of the ravine that they could navigate without rappelling equipment. She told him about the Walkers that had fallen into the ravine. Some of them had been little more than pieces. Not that it made them any less dangerous.

"It bit through your shoe?" Daryl asked.

"Yeah. It was almost dark," Songbird said. "And we were trying to climb back up the other side and it had gotten wedged into the rocks. I thought it was really dead so I put my foot beside it and it latched on. There was a hole in the side of my shoe and a dent in my foot, but it didn't break the skin. Obviously," she finished with a half laugh.

"How'd you kill it?"

"Michelangelo killed it actually," she said. "We were still at the part of the climb where he could follow us instead of being hauled with the rope."

"You hauled that dog all the way up the ravine?"

"Freddy did," Songbird said. "I couldn't have done it the whole way."

"That when he stopped being so scared of him?" Daryl asked.

"Yes," Songbird answered with another small laugh. "It's hard to be scared of an animal that saves your life. It took a few days, but he learned to love Michelangelo."

She went on, telling him how they'd gotten out of the ravine and made their way across the deserted roads; only sleeping when they could take shelter in abandoned vehicles along the highway.

"There wasn't much to eat," Songbird said. "And we didn't want to light fires to cook because we were afraid of drawing attention. So we actually ate everything raw."

Daryl saw her face twist in disgust and he said, "I ate a squirrel raw while you were gone."

"You did? Why?"

"Remember how I told you I got this?" he asked, gesturing at his side.

"Yeah."

"Well, I had to climb back up and I'd lost a lot blood. I'd killed a squirrel earlier so I ate him."

"It's disgusting isn't it?"

"Hell, it ain't no worse than sushi. And it was free."

"I'd forgotten how funny you can be," she admitted with a laugh.

"I'd forgot how damn cute you are when you laugh," he replied.

"Hey Songbird?" Emma called from outside the cell.

"Yeah?"

"Um…" Emma now realized she had no excuse. She couldn't very well admit that she was there to make sure Songbird and Daryl weren't getting it on. "I…wondered if you were coming to bed."

"Yeah, I'll be there in just a second."

Songbird hopped down from the bunk and Daryl met her at the cell door.

"To be continued," she said as she turned to go. "Tomorrow night?"

"Same time, same place," Daryl agreed. "Darlin'…"

She turned to face him and he kissed her again. He kept it light and he didn't drag it out, but like all their kisses, it couldn't be qualified as innocent.

"Sleep good," he finished when he drew back.


	72. Chapter Sixty Nine and a Half

A/N: This was supposed to be part of the last chapter. Ooops

"And when I got back…you were gone," Songbird finished the next afternoon. "Why'd you leave me Daryl?"

"I figured you were dead," he said honestly. "And it wasn't just me…Rick was leaving. He was real fucked up over losin' Lucky like that. He only stayed as long as he did because I was tryin' so hard to get to you."

"And everybody just followed Rick right out of the safest place they knew?" Songbird mused. "He's got so much influence."

"He's been the one holdin' this group together since he got here," Daryl said. "We've all gotten pretty damn used to goin' where he goes."

Songbird wondered how that would go in the spring when she and Freddy headed back to the compound, but she decided to leave that for another day.

"And at least he uses his powers for good and not evil," she said lightly.

"I never stopped thinkin' about you," Daryl said.

"Why didn't you trust me?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"To be capable. To get back. Is it because I'm so much younger than you?"

"Not…exactly. Sort of. Hell it's complicated. I've seen so many people die. I've seen Walkers that were cops, military, hunters like me, you were the only person in the whole damn circus that lived. Who lives and dies is just so goddamn random. And I…you asked me to keep you safe and I couldn't. I didn't. I shoulda known not to get separated. I shoulda known that idiot was gonna flip the fuck out and blow the whole damn bridge. I shoulda known…"

"How could you have known?" Songbird cut in. "It's like you said…none of it makes sense. I held it against you that you didn't wait and…and I shouldn't have. You had every reason to believe that I was dead."

"And I coulda gave you a little more time," Daryl said. "It was killin' me to think about you needin' me and me not bein' there. Every time I went to sleep I dreamed about you. You were always somewhere I couldn't get to. Just outta my damn reach."

Songbird climbed down from her bunk and up into the one Daryl was sitting on. He leaned back against the wall and pulled her back against his chest. She felt him wrap his arms around her as she rested against him.

"I'm here now."

Daryl rested his chin on her hair and tightened his grip.

"Do you know how damn hard it is to love you?" he asked.

"Hard?" she asked, surprised and hurt.

"Not 'cause you're a bad person," he clarified quickly. "But, God darlin' I just want to lock you up somewhere where you can't get hurt. Where I ain't worried every second of every day. I don't wanna live without you. I found out I can," he went on. "And that was somethin' I wasn't even sure of when that bridge blew. But I don't want to ever again."

"That's how I feel about you too," she countered. "I wanted you to just stay in the compound. I wanted to go with you to Area 3 because I was terrified of letting you out of my sight. I'm not a hunter. And I know I'm only 19, but I want keep you safe too.

"Yeah I know," Daryl finally admitted. "I shoulda let you go with me more often. I been thinkin' about what you said about Sophia and I think you're right. She didn't know enough about Walkers, we all kept her too damn sheltered in there. I woulda done the same thing to you."

"And I would have let you," she acknowledged. "Daryl, I was desperate back then to feel taken care of. Papa Tony…he was so protective. I always felt so safe when he was alive. And then…I lost him. I lost everybody. And then there you were."

"I ain't never understood it," Daryl admitted. "Why me? Why not Shane? Or even Rick?"

"Shane smirks," Songbird said flatly. "And Rick's married. And you…you were…I thought you were smart. I liked how careful you were about protecting the others even though they didn't seem to trust you or even like you very much. And I thought…I still think…you're the best looking man in the whole world."

"What about Freddy?" Daryl asked after a moment.

Songbird sighed and said, "I guess we do have to talk about him don't we?"

"Yeah. I guess we do."

"I'm not sure I know where to start," she admitted.

"How'd you go from me to him so fast?" Daryl asked bluntly. "Were you with him on the road?"

"Not…exactly," Songbird said. "We shared a bed at the compound." When she felt Daryl's entire body go tense she went on, "Michelangelo shared it too. And I shouldn't have done that. I was using him and it was wrong—"

"Usin' him for what?" Daryl asked sharply.

"Just sleep. I could pretend he was you at night; I didn't feel so alone. It was immature and selfish." She rubbed her hands over her face and said, "And then…when we went to Ft. Benning and I didn't find you and I didn't know where else to go or what else to do…"

"You slept with him then?"

"You're hurting me," she pointed out with a slight wince.

Daryl looked down and saw that his grip on her arms had gone so tight that his knuckles were white. He relaxed his fingers. Maybe Rick had a point.

"And no," she went on. "I couldn't do it. We kissed…we did a little more than kiss," she corrected herself for the sake of honesty. "We—"

"No," Daryl cut in. "I can't. I don't wanna hear about what ya'll did."

He felt sick. And pissed off. With Freddy, with her, with himself.

"Do you want to stop for tonight?" she asked, looking at the red marks on her arm where his fingers had pressed.

"No," he said against his better judgment. "Let's go. What else? How many other times before you left me?"

She heard the difference in his tone and she sat up.

"I don't think we should—" she began.

"Come on. Or did you forget?"

"Once," she answered. "One more kiss. No. Damn it. Two. Two more kisses and that's all!"

"That's all?" Daryl gave a humorless laugh. "So you're out there lookin' for me even though you can't keep your damn hands off Mackensie? What was the point? Why didn't you just stay in Kansas?"

"Is that what you wanted me to do?" she asked, feeling tears sting her eyes.

"I just don't see why you didn't," he answered. "You was obviously gettin' what you needed without me."

"I kissed Freddy once when I thought I was going to die," she informed him. "It was right before we found the prison there was a hoard of Walkers…and the second time was after I got here. It was that day you yelled at me for going for a ride with Maggie and Glenn. Freddy wanted to make sure I was okay and it just sort of happened. And I wanted to tell you, but I threw up. And then you and I had another fight and you walked out on me!"

"And where'd you go after I left?"

"Nowhere! I did not sleep with Freddy until after I told you we were through."

"Cut it damn close though didn't you?"

"Yes."

The honesty of her answer made it impossible to speak for a moment.

"I shouldn't have slept with him so fast," she went on. "But I was confused and I was sad and I just wanted some space and you wouldn't back off. I think we should be done with this for tonight."

"No," he said stubbornly. "We need to finish it."

"See?" she pointed out. "You wouldn't stop then and you won't stop now and this isn't accomplishing anything. You're mad at me and you feel like I betrayed you and you want to keep going to hurt me and I can understand that…but if we're really giving this another try we need to stop."

"Fine," he said ungraciously after a moment of silence. "No need in sittin' around here then is there?"

"Guess not. See you later."

Songbird swung her legs over the bed and jumped down. Daryl leaned his head back against the wall. Apparently he was still really mad at her. That came as sort of a surprise. He'd been so sure that he wanted her back unequivocally. Maybe he'd just been high on the fact that she still wanted him.

He chewed his thumbnail and thought deeply. No. He did still want her, but it wasn't going to be as quick and easy as he'd hoped. He figured one conversation would do it. He'd figured he could stand to hear about Freddy once, kind of like ripping off a band aid…but he couldn't. Not really. He needed to understand how she'd loved him so much in the beginning and then hated him enough to jump in bed with someone else so fast. Or maybe it hadn't been that fast. Months where the two of them had shared a bed. Where they'd been kissing…he sat up and went to find Rick. He found Herschel instead.

"Why the long face?" Herschel asked.

"Songbird and I…we…it ain't workin' like I'd hoped," Daryl admitted, kind of embarrassed to be explaining the whole thing to Herschel. "I don't want to uh…bother you….

"Reconciling a marriage is a little more than a day's work," Herschel said with a small smile.

"Yeah, but how damn many days does it take?" Daryl asked in frustration.

"Sit down for a bit," Herschel said. "I don't know if you remember this, but I used to be a bit of a drinker. I was an alcoholic," he corrected himself. "And my wife…she hated it when I drank. Hated that I was away from home so much, that I let the farm go a little in those years, that I didn't give my practice my best. They were lonely years for her. Well, eventually I stopped drinking and started doing what I knew I should and we came to realize that we barely knew each other anymore."

"What did you do to fix it?" Daryl asked.

"We talked," he answered. "But," he went on when he looked like he was going to protest. "We took years to grow apart and it took quite some time to grow back together. We didn't just sit down at the kitchen table the night I put the bottle down and have the whole thing out."

"Huh," Daryl said. "Guess that makes sense."

"Oh and Daryl," Herschel called when Daryl stood to leave. "You're going to fight. Might as well just accept it."

Daryl laughed briefly and said, "You and your wife fight much?"

"At least once a week. Kept it interesting."

"Thanks Herschel. I'm uh…sorry I stole your horse."

"I think you paid for it."


	73. Chapter 70

Songbird decided to make herself useful and do laundry since Daryl was understandably pissed at her. Andrea and Maggie were in the laundry room too and eventually Andrea's curiosity got the better of her.

"Emma said she saw you and Daryl kissing."

"My half sister spoke the truth," Songbird agreed. "But I think he just got a little carried away. Now we're sort of fighting. Maybe. I'm not sure it's a real fight."

"What's it about?" Maggie asked.

"Freddy."

"Why on earth are you talking about Freddy?"

"I don't know! He wanted to. We should talk anyway right?"

"Yes," Andrea said. "But…what did you tell him about Freddy?"

"Just what he asked. About kissing and…stuff."

Maggie shook her head and said, "You don't have to answer stuff like that just because he asks!"

"I'm not going to lie to him. I slept with Freddy. I kissed him twice…no. Three times, before Daryl and I even broke up."

"And they clearly meant so much to you that you can't even remember them now," Andrea said dryly. "I don't think Maggie was suggesting that you lie…but put yourself in Daryl's shoes. Would you really want the details if you knew he was with someone while you were gone?"

"No," Songbird said decidedly, after a moment. "I would not. And I kind of figured he had a thing with Carol anyway."

Andrea and Maggie both looked surprised at her calm admission of that.

"He didn't," Andrea said after a moment. "But he might have if you hadn't turned up when you did."

Songbird nodded and sighed.

"I wonder if I've messed it up too badly," she admitted. "And I'm terrified of living without him. Even when we were broken up I needed to know he was okay."

"He wouldn't be talking to you at all if he didn't want you. You two need to learn to fight," Maggie said.

"What do you mean?" Songbird asked in surprise. "Why would I want to fight with him?"

Andrea and Maggie both looked at her in shock.

"Do you think Glenn and I don't fight?" Maggie asked.

Songbird shrugged and looked at Andrea.

"Oh yeah," Andrea said. "Dale and I fight. What about your mom and…oh. Well what about…" Andrea searched what she knew about Songbird's life and drew a blank. "Didn't you ever see any couples together?"

"Well…I mean they existed in the circus, sure, but they didn't fight in front of me. I was their boss's adopted granddaughter. And the fights I did see aren't the kind of fights I want to have with Daryl. One time one of the guys on the ring toss game found out that his girlfriend, the sword swallower, was cheating on him with the magician and he broke her arm and…"

"Okay, I never thought I'd hear all those words in one sentence," Maggie cut in. "And that's not what we're talking about. You need role models. You should make your dad feel guilty about this."

Songbird returned Maggie's smile with a half grin of her own and then said, "So…you can fight with someone and love them at the same time?"

"Of course you can. You and Daryl had to have fought about something!" Maggie said in shock.

"I wouldn't tell him my real name…and then there was sort of a fight when he got sick that time…I guess we have." Songbird's face brightened. "And he didn't leave me over that!"

"If there was ever a couple made for marriage counseling," Maggie muttered.

"I'm a circus performer. I never claimed to be normal."

Seeing that Songbird had a lot to think about, Andrea turned the conversation to other things and they finished the laundry as quickly as they could.

Songbird and Daryl sat together at supper, but they didn't really talk about anything and after they'd eaten he simply told her good night. He'd given her a short smile, so she tried not to freak out about it.

"So how's the reconciling going with Daryl?" Brad asked as Songbird walked by his room.

"Um…good I guess," she answered. "It's only been two days."

"And you think you're actually going to be able to iron out all your issues?"

"You don't like Daryl do you?"

"I like Daryl just fine," Brad replied. "But…I guess I thought that you were better suited to Freddy."

"You may have him for a son in law yet," Songbird said.

"What?"

"You can't have missed Emma's crush of truly epic proportions."

"No, but…you don't think he feels the same way do you? She's only sixteen!"

Songbird laughed.

"A preference for massive age differences seems to run in the family," she said.

"But…" Brad trailed off with worry in his eyes.

"Relax Brad," she said. "Freddy's the soul of honor. He won't do anything without your blessing…or mine. He made me a pinky promise."

"A pinky promise?" he repeated incredulously.

"Well it was more of a save the pinky promise. But the fact is that Freddy isn't going to bed with Emma anytime soon."

"She's growing up too fast," Brad grumbled. "And you're already grown."

"Focus on Greg," Songbird suggested with a grin. "But seriously…we all have to start repopulating sometime. If Emma wants Freddy and he's serious about her, who's to say no?"

"Me." Brad said grimly. "At least for now."

"Have fun destroying young love then," she said. "I'm off to bed."

When she went into her room she saw Emma curled up with a book so she decided to try to focus on Pride and Prejudice.

"Hey Em," she said after a few chapters. "You do realize Freddy is Bingley don't you? And you might just be rational enough to be Jane."

"Does that make Daryl Mr. Darcy?" Emma asked with a laugh. "Did he tell you how ardently he admires and loves you?"

"Not lately. And not in the beginning. But…I can see resemblances. Social awkwardness, objections that keep him from the girl he loves for chapters and chapters…"

"Except we don't have chapters," Emma pointed out.

"I don't know. Sometimes I feel distinctly novel-esque," Songbird said wryly.

"How _did_ Daryl first tell you he loved you?" Emma asked, in the mood for a romantic story.

"Well…he sort of forgot all about it for a good long while. It was right before Thanksgiving when he finally said it."

"You didn't know he loved you when you started…um…"

"Having sex?" Songbird asked dryly. "No actually. I was a little overwhelmed by other things the night we started that."

"So you just went ahead and slept with him without knowing…"

"Yeah I know. You think I'm a slut. Just go ahead and say it," Songbird said resignedly.

"No, I'm not saying that!" Emma protested. "I just hope, when it's me, that I know before."

"I wouldn't worry," Songbird said. "Freddy Mackensie cannot be restrained from speaking his mind. And…Emma, are you sure about the way you feel about him?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean are you sure this isn't just a crush?"

"No. I mean yes. I've had crushes before," Emma began self consciously. "But this feels different. He's…he's just such a good guy. I can't believe you let him go. And I want to make sure he's safe always and I don't feel right unless he's around and…"

"Okay, okay," Songbird cut in. "You know the age difference bothers him right?"

"Yes. But I don't know what to do about it."

"Speaking from experience, if you act like it's the most natural thing in the world for you to want to be with him, he'll forget about it. But…you should also wait a little while. You're only 16 and…"

"And you were barely 18 when you met Daryl. I did the math. Is a year such a big deal?"

"Actually," Songbird admitted. "I think that, in terms of emotional maturity and level headedness, you're already at the place I was when I met Daryl. But I didn't have a father to contend with. You don't want bad blood between them, so you've got to wait to find out what Freddy wants to do, and then get your dad's blessing."

"You make it sound like it's really going to happen," Emma said hopefully. "Do you…do you think…he could love me? Or do I remind him of you?"

"Em, the stuff between me and Freddy…it was never…I was hurt and I was sad and I wanted comfort and he was there and he's so…he was what I needed to get through all this. And he needed to see that I wasn't what he thought I was. We weren't ever meant for each other and I sort of think that both of us would take it back if we could because of how it hurt Daryl and you. So don't think that he likes you because we sort of look alike or something like that. Freddy put me on a pedestal because I'm kind of awkward like him and I was the only girl close to his age that was alive. Freddy likes you because you're smart and capable and cute and all that other stuff. So just be patient."

"Okay," Emma said happily. "And you should be patient too. It took me a while to forgive you for what happened between you and Daryl and you're only my recently discovered sister. Daryl must feel…"

"I know. Now quit rubbing that level headedness in my face and go to sleep."

2.

Two agonizingly long days after that Daryl rapped his knuckles on the bars of Songbird's cell.

"Wanna go for a walk?" he asked.

She dropped her sewing promptly and nodded. They'd been civil, but he hadn't been chatty and she'd tried to give him his space. She wasn't going to let him control everything anymore, but letting him have control of this was probably a good idea. He had much more reason to be hurt than she did.

"Don't forget your jacket," he said automatically. She didn't seem annoyed by his reminder though and they walked down the hall and out into the yard.

"I miss the snow," she said after a moment or two.

"Yeah, it wasn't bad," he agreed. "Been thinkin'," he went on. "Got somethin' I wanna talk over with you. Somethin' that don't make sense."

"Okay."

"I reminded you to get your jacket just now," he said. "And you didn't bite my head off. But you was real upset about stuff like that when we was fightin' a few months back. What's the difference?"

She thought for a moment and then said, "My perception I guess. I thought that you did stuff like that because you thought I couldn't take care of myself. But now I don't think that's it. Why do you do that?"

"'Cause you're forgetful as fuck," he said honestly. "And I don't want you gettin' cold. Or sick. I worry about you gettin' sick, but I guess it ain't as bad now that we got a doctor on hand."

"I guess that makes sense," she admitted. "Oh Daryl, I wish I'd handled things better."

"What do you mean?"

He was surprised when she covered her face with her hands and began to cry. He stood there rather helplessly for a minute or two and then touched her shoulder. When she didn't swat his hand away he pulled her into his arms and let her cry.

"Everything," she sobbed. "Losing you, things with Freddy, finding you again…I wish it had happened like it happened in my head."

"I wish it'd happened different too," he acknowledged.

He'd decided in those two days of thinking and talking to Rick, Dale, and Herschel, that he needed to find a balance between what they had all suggested. He and Songbird would have to work out their own balance in the formula of forgetting, forgiving, and fighting that the other men had recommended.

"Do you hate me for sleeping with Freddy?"

"I don't hate you," he said slowly. "I thought that I might for a week or two though. Then I thought that I might want you back…but seein' you with him…God Songbird you don't know how much that…" he broke off. "I wanted to kill him. I wanted to drag you back and force you to see that you're mine. I…" Daryl took a deep breath and tried to calm the anger that rose up at even remembering those days. "You know why it bothers me so damn much?" he asked after a long while.

"Why?"

"Because before, you weren't never anybody else's. You didn't have nobody to compare me to."

"Daryl I'm not going to compare you to Freddy," she said as she wiped her eyes self consciously. "I've had you both, and I'm back here. That should tell you all you need to know."

"I guess you got a point," he acknowledged. "But…"

"Did you compare me to Deena?" she asked, looking down at the winter fragile grass under her boots.

"What? No. Why would I?"

"Then why would I compare you to him? You're the one I'm in love with."

"I don't get how you coulda loved me that much and still done what you did," he admitted, pushing his hands into his jeans pockets and shrugging his shoulders.

"It all just got to be so much," she said after a long moment of struggling to find the words. "I was scared…more than scared. I thought I'd lost you for good and…I really think I left because I thought it would kill me. That it would finally end it all and I wouldn't have to think or rely on myself. When you left, for the first time since those weeks on the road, I was really alone…and you were right that day. I didn't know what the hell I was doing and I wasn't good at taking care of myself. So I let Freddy do it. Except he wouldn't…not the way you did. And then it got sort of twisted up. I thought that because he was right, you had to be wrong. And…"

"And I sort of was," Daryl said. "Not about everything. But about the way I treated you."

"I think I went a little crazy," she admitted. "I…I couldn't figure out what to do so I just checked out. I let you do what you did and I really think that if I'd told you how much I hated it…showed you what I'd learned…you wouldn't have treated me like such a kid."

"I hope so." Daryl pushed his hand through his hair and said, "I couldn't believe you were back. That you were alive. That I'd fucked up like that. It might have been the same no matter what you did. I never wanted to let you go again. Didn't want you out of my sight. And you were so different. I just wanted to find a way to bring my girl back again. You seem more like yourself now though," he said, wanting to end on a good note.

"I feel more like myself," Songbird agreed. "Or at least, I feel like I could like who I am now. I hated myself you know."

"Why?"

"I couldn't seem to make you happy. I couldn't make myself happy. I'd risked everything and nothing was right and I was so…sad."

She'd whispered the last word and he could tell she was close to tears again so he said, "Been talkin' to Rick, and some to Dale and Herschel. They gave me some advice. Wanna hear it?"

"Sure," she said agreeably as she let him lead her around to the side of the building, out of the wind.

They sat down and after a second, he put his arm around her shoulders and she leaned her head against him.

"Rick says it's better to forget, that he don't let Lori talk about her and Shane, that he don't wanna know. Dale says that he forgave Andrea because we're all human and we make mistakes, that he understands. Herschel said that he and his woman just fought it out till the air was clear. I say we kinda do all three. I wanna forget that you and Freddy ever…I don't wanna know about that. I wanna forgive you for leavin' me and I want you to forgive me for all the shit I did and said, and we can fight over whatever's left. Whatcha think?"

"I like the sound of it," Songbird said. "We should write it down. The 3 F Solution to a Perfect Relationship."

"Well, there's a real important fourth F," Daryl said with a half grin. "But I think we oughta hold off on it for a while."

"You do?" Songbird was relieved and surprised. She'd wanted to wait a little bit too, not because she didn't want him, but because she knew that her emotions would get too tangled up, leaving her in the same boat she'd been in at the compound, but she had expected that to be something to fight about.

"Yeah." Needless to say, the idea had not been Daryl's. It had actually come from Glenn. The kid had taken a semester or two of psychology and he'd gone into a whole thing about the value of communication and how sex complicated reconciliations, but what it boiled down to was that Songbird had talked to Maggie about not wanting to jump right back in bed with Daryl and Maggie had told Glenn, and Glenn had told Daryl without really coming right out and telling him. Daryl thought it sucked, but he'd do it if he had to.

"Why?" Songbird asked suspiciously. If Maggie had told…

"'Cause," Daryl said, seeing no need to give everything away, "You didn't seem real interested those last few weeks. Next time I take you to bed it's gonna be because you're beggin' me."

"Oh?"

She'd meant for that to come out as a teasing question but it hadn't. It had come out a nearly breathless inquiry and she blushed when he gave her a glance and let a decidedly knowing grin spread over his face.

"Won't take long," he observed. "But for now, there's other shit to get done ain't there?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm sure there is," she said in distraction.

He laughed and pulled her to her feet, then spun her around and dusted the dried grass of the seat of her pants.

"See you later darlin'," he said casually.


	74. Chapter 71

Reconciliation went slowly, more slowly than either of them had hoped, but it was also working so that made it hard to complain. There were more issues than they'd thought and they used Herschel and Dale's advice more frequently than Rick's. Neither Songbird nor Daryl was the type to live happily in the dark.

Some days they fought a fair bit, but they also fought more fairly than they ever had in the past. Songbird stopped crying to manipulate him and never told him that advice had come from Freddy, and Daryl tried really hard not to yell when he got mad.

And then there were good days, days like today. The early spring sun was shining over the prison yard and Songbird was babysitting Judy as she often did in the afternoons so Lori could have a nap. When she watched Judy she usually ended up watching Carl, who was more devoted to his baby sister than he would have wanted anyone to know, and Greg, who stuck pretty close to Carl. Today was no exception.

It was a pretty day; the temperature had settled above 65 and the grass was dry. She wasn't the only one taking advantage of the great weather. Herschel and Rick were hooking up the plow while the horses shook their manes and stomped impatiently, eager for exercise. Andrea and Dale were cleaning a few of the guns on top of Dale's RV. Carl and Greg were messing with something on the ground. It was probably a bug. Greg was obsessed with bugs. It couldn't have been dangerous; Michelangelo was looking interested as well. He liked bugs too. She was glad her little brother had gotten over his fear of the dog…and it had only taken 3 months.

Songbird tucked the blanket up around Judy's cheeks when the breeze brushed them and the baby waved her arms in irritation. Oh well, it wasn't cold. Songbird pushed the blanket back again and was rewarded with a smile and several gurgles.

"You like the wind?" she asked the baby.

"You like the wind?"

She glanced up and saw Daryl walking toward her. She shrugged and said, "I'm just happy to be outside. And my allergies haven't kicked in just yet."

He sat down beside her, resting his back against the block wall of the prison and dug through his hip pocket, eventually coming up with a handful of pecans from the tree he'd found last week. There hadn't been many, since it was still so early, but he'd gathered up a decent pocketful.

"Babysittin'?" he asked as he cracked the first pecan.

"Yeah. We went for a walk earlier, between the fences. We found a weak spot in the east corner of the outer one."

"You tell Rick?"

"I'm telling you, I figured you'd know what to do better than anybody else."

"I'll get Dale to help me with it later then," Daryl said. "He looks busy."

"And you look content to be where you are," she teased.

"Well we ain't seen a one of those things in weeks," he protested. "I was gonna mention that it might be about time to get some people up and head out, see what we can see. Maybe they're all dead. Or maybe the cold weather got to 'em and they'd be twice as easy to kill right now."

"If that's what you decide to do, I'd like to ride with you," she said.

Daryl nodded and put his arm around her shoulders. She leaned her head against his chest and they sat like that for a bit, just enjoying each other's closeness.

"So, the kid's turnin' out all right," Daryl said after some time, looking down at Judy as he cracked another pecan. "Better'n I thought anyway."

"She's adorable," Songbird said with a laugh. The baby was very cute now. Her cheeks were full, her round head covered in dark peach fuzz, her eyelashes long and dark as well. She had a good personality; she was generally an angel baby. Daryl said he'd wait till she started cutting teeth to give his opinion, but she knew that he hadn't found the child as troublesome as he'd thought. Maybe now would be a good time. "I want one."

Daryl handed her the pecan.

"No!" she said with an exasperated laugh. "Not a pecan!"

"Then one of what?" he asked in confusion. He didn't have anything else…suddenly it hit him. "Oh."

"That's it? Oh?"

"We ain't even managed to fuck—"

Songbird covered Judy's small ears with a grin that Daryl couldn't resist returning, even in his flustered state.

"Be alone," he corrected, earning another smile. "So how could you have a baby?"

"I didn't mean right this second," she said dryly. "But you know…eventually…"

"Five years?" he asked hopefully.

"Within this year," she ventured.

"What? That's…it's…"

"Really Daryl? Five years? You'd be 42 before we had our first child and that's only _if_ it happens right away. What if we have to try for months or even years?"

"You're only 19," he said. He didn't have an answer for the other stuff. He didn't necessarily like the idea of being a father at the age of 42, but he wasn't crazy about it at the age of 37 either. Lori had done okay assisted by Herschel and Freddy, but she'd done it before and she wasn't as small as Songbird and…

"Talk to me please," Songbird said quietly after he'd been silent for several long moments.

"It scares the hell out of me," he said honestly. "And the reasons ain't changed from the last time either. You're too little. You're too young. I might be the world's most terrible father. I might lose you. We ain't sure about the Walkers…"

Songbird tried not to be frustrated as she answered, "I'm not that small. I'm only a little smaller than Lori and she was fine. I don't see what my age has to do with it either. You're way better with kids than you used to be."

"And what about losin' you?" he cut in.

"I…I don't think that would happen."

"But you don't know."

"Of course I don't know! You don't know that something would. Don't you…doesn't any part of you want a baby with me?"

She tried to keep her voice level and even sort of business like, but the hurt slipped through. He didn't answer.

"Why do you want one?" he asked instead.

"It's hard to explain," she said. "I just…I want something of ours, something that's a part of both of us, a little person that we can teach to shoot a crossbow and throw a knife. Our own little survivalist. I want us to be more than what we are. I want a real family of my very own with you and our baby. I want to feel what that's like and I want to share it with you."

"I'll think about it," he said, abruptly standing up and heading inside.

Daryl wandered the inside of the prison restlessly. Her explanation of why she wanted a baby had resonated deeper than she'd probably known it would. A real family. A stable family with a loving mom and a capable, not drunk father. Provided he could keep his shit together. Provided that she didn't die. It was too risky. Wasn't it? He thought back to that moment of disappointment that had snuck in under his relief at finding out that she wasn't pregnant last time. And that brought him to the next thing…what if it did take months or years to get her pregnant? Hell, for all he knew he couldn't. He'd never gotten anyone else pregnant, a fact that he'd attributed to his extreme caution…but maybe it wasn't. He chewed his thumbnail until he tasted blood. Damn it he wanted a cigarette.

There was the matter of the other kind of protection as well. How would he keep a baby safe? He was already worrying about it with Judy. There was no way to control how much noise a baby would make; it made any kind of stealth impossible. The safest place to raise a baby would be the compound and while he remembered Songbird's decree that they were both going back, he hadn't really talked to her about it lately. And that he knew of, she hadn't talked to Freddy. Who even knew if the offer was still good?

Lowered voices distracted him and he slowed down slightly. Privacy was implied more than enforced by blanket covered walls and according to the code of honor, most of the survivors didn't stand around listening in on private conversations. Daryl didn't tend to obey that code. He liked to know what was going on. Especially where Shane was concerned. He'd told Rick his concerns but time had convinced Rick that Daryl was wrong.

"I want to see her too," Shane was saying. "I want time with you both."

"This is the best way right now," Lori answered. "With weather like this, everyone's outside…and I want time with just you. We need to think. We need to work this out. Just us."

There was silence for several seconds and when Shane spoke again he sounded a little more willing to cooperate.

"But you think that you know for sure?" he asked.

"Based on when she was born," Lori answered. "She was born later than I'd thought and it's still iffy, but…based on Judy's birth date, I'm pretty convinced that it was only you by then."

"My daughter," Shane repeated. "Lori, I am not going behind Rick's back this time. I'm gonna have you and our kid and I'm gonna do it right in front of him."

"Shane, just be patient please!" Lori sounded frightened. "I…I'm not ready to…"

"To what?" Shane asked with a short laugh. "Hurt him again? You know what I'm not ready for? Another baby that I have wonder about for almost a year. You tell him Lori, or I will."

"You think you can manipulate me like this and I'll still want to be with you?"

"Oh come on Lori! You've wanted me for how many years now? How long did you say you were gonna leave him for me? And then the minute he gets his heart broken, _by another woman,_ let me remind you, you're all sympathetic and you go running back? I'm tired of it. You're mine or you're his and you can't be both anymore."

"Shit," Daryl muttered when he saw the cell door start to open. He'd stayed too long and now there wasn't time to get out of sight. There was only one thing for it. Walk and bluff. He walked past the door just as it opened and nodded at Shane. Shane nodded back and Daryl continued on up the hall. Shane hadn't looked suspicious so much as preoccupied. It might occur to him later to wonder how much Daryl had heard and by then Daryl would have a damn good cover and he wouldn't be so shocked by what he'd just heard.

Shane and Lori again…sort of. And Lori was "pretty sure" that Judy was Shane's. Damn. At least he wouldn't have that to worry about with Songbird. The baby would be his with no question. The casual tone of the thought surprised him. He pushed it away. He needed to think about what to do about what he'd just heard.

It wasn't in Daryl's nature to get into other people's business, especially relationship business but Rick had been right about the importance of them all sticking together. This wasn't gonna help Rick's "can't we all just get along" campaign. Shane was a volatile person and he'd already proven himself capable of changing the game completely. What the hell was Lori thinking anyway? Playing with a man like that was never a smart move. Daryl suddenly realized that it had probably been going on for weeks; that his girl had been babysitting while Lori played a dangerous game that could hurt them all.

He'd have to say something. But he didn't know what. Or when. Or really who to start with. The answer to the whole problem seemed suddenly simple. Dividing up. Some of them could go to the compound and others could stay here. Lori could make her decision once and for all. Of course that meant that he had to make sure the offer was still open. And that meant that he had to talk to Freddy.

He heard footsteps behind him and turned, expecting Shane. It was Songbird.

"I went to drop Judy off," Songbird explained. "But Lori looked awful, so I said I'd go get her again after she's done nursing. Daryl…I didn't mean to just drop that on you so fast…"

"It's okay," he said. "I've been thinkin' about it."

"You have?" she waited expectantly, but that was apparently all he was willing to say on the matter. It was better than nothing so she went on, "Are you okay? You look worried."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just…thinkin'. One thing I been thinkin' about is goin' ahead and takin' that ride out…seein' if there's any Walkers we ain't seen. How you feel about goin' tomorrow?"

"I like it," she agreed enthusiastically as she gave him a hug. "I've been dying to go somewhere!"

"Hell, don't say it like that," he replied.

She laughed softly and, never one to miss an opportunity, she pressed her lips to his neck, kissing her way up softly. The intensity of the kiss he gave her when she got to his lips took her breath away. There'd been a few encounters since they'd decided to hold off on sex, but there hadn't been many. They had also never been like this. They'd been teasing on her part, light on his because he knew enough to know that what they were doing was working. This was the way he'd kissed her in the past, the way that told her that she was about to be putty in his hands for the next hour or so, the way that made her knees weak and her stomach flutter.

So it was something of a shock when he pulled away.

"No," she whispered involuntarily. "Please don't stop."

"Beggin' darlin'?"

"Yes," she answered before she kissed him again.

Daryl wrapped one arm around her waist and grabbed her braid with the other hand. She clutched the front of his shirt was both hands when he pulled her closer to him. This was what was missing with Freddy. There was power in the way Daryl moved; there was a confidence there that stated that her body was his and he knew exactly how to back up that claim.

She could feel herself shaking, but he didn't stop to let her catch her breath, to let her regain control of herself. When she was with him like this, he wanted control to be the farthest thing from her mind. They weren't exactly in private, just in a somewhat secluded part of the hallway, so he kept his hands where they were and he didn't pick her up. He didn't press her back against the wall and let her eager body work against his, he didn't let her wrap her long legs around him…in short he stood still and let his frustration grow until he thought he couldn't take it anymore…and then he pushed her a little more.

Daryl had to know. He had to know that she was still desperate for him. He never planned to repeat those humiliating nights where she lay underneath him unresponsive, somehow miles away. He was liking what he saw, or rather what he felt. Her arms had tightened around him and her lips had parted perfectly for him. Her hands were in his hair and he heard a whimper low in her throat that sounded just the right amount of aroused and heated.

He could bring her down to his room and he could have her quick and rushed and enthusiastic, or he could have her on the terms he'd set when they first started this reconciliation. Daryl pulled back and Songbird groaned in disappointment.

"Not yet," he informed her roughly.

She leaned her head on his chest. His heart was pounding as frantically as hers so it couldn't be that he didn't want her as much as she wanted him.

"Why not?"

"Not tellin'," he answered. "Now, go find somethin' to do rather than stand around distractin' me."

"Would another kiss change your mind?" she asked hopefully.

"Probably. Which is why I ain't kissin' you again. Get outta here hussy."

She left and he walked back down the hall, over toward the gym. He still had a plan to carry out and the interlude had a least put him in a better mood to do it. Freddy was right where he thought he'd be. He saw him pull back on that compound bow of his, lining up a shot as Emma watched with stars in her eyes. Daryl waited for his moment.

"Hawkeye," he called right as Freddy released the string.

"Daryl," Freddy answered, watching as his shot went off target. Probably not as far off target as Daryl had hoped, but certainly not on the bulls eye as he'd planned. "I didn't know you were a comic book fan."

"Who ain't? Wanna talk to you."

"Sure." Freddy put the bow away and nodded to Emma as he walked out. She looked worried so he gave her a smile. He wasn't worried personally. He figured he and Daryl would have it out eventually.

They walked out onto the fire escape and Daryl closed the door. Freddy leaned on the railing and crossed his arms, having decided to let Daryl take the reins on this conversation.

"Songbird told me you're leavin'," Daryl said. "When the weather gets better."

"Yep. You've got a nice place here," he said with a look at the prison. "But it lacks that feeling of home you know?"

"What about Songbird?"

"I asked her to come with me," Freddy said. "She said she wouldn't go without you. I was under the impression that she was gonna talk to you about it."

"She hasn't yet. You takin' everybody?"

"They were all there before," Freddy said with a shrug.

"Not 'cause you wanted 'em," Daryl pointed out. "It was 'cause of your sister. You wouldn't have took us in."

"Well…no I probably would have let you drive through those Walkers and off into the sunset," Freddy admitted. "But now I'm invested."

"In Songbird."

"Look, she's told you the truth about me and her by now. I know she has. I've never had nearly as much of her heart as you do. And I'm finally at a place where I can be okay with that. You're more than welcome to live in my house until this all gets straightened out, but it's not because I'm in love with Songbird. It's because I'm a good person and I'm not dumb enough to waste talent like you and her have. If I needed to protect what I've got from Walkers…or scavengers…then I know you'll have my back."

"Scavengers?" Daryl repeated, momentarily distracted.

"Yeah," Freddy said. "They way I see it, when this ends there are going to plenty of desperate people…you know anywhere safer than my house? I'm not going to survive the Walkers and die at the hands of a bunch of people."

"So Lucky was protectin' people and you was buildin' a damn Army?"

"I'm not as dumb as you think I am,' Freddy said with a shrug. "And I'll be damned if I'm not going to protect what's mine."

"Then why'd you come out here with Songbird?"

"Because for a while I was pretty set on her being part of what's mine," he said honestly.

Daryl felt his shoulders go tense and Freddy said, "But now…not so much."

"Why not? What changed?"

"She's not in love with me. I like it when the girl I'm…" Freddy paused and picked different words. "I want to be with someone who loves me the way she loves you. I'm not the competitive type when it comes to stuff like that. I never had her heart Daryl. Never."

Daryl nodded and said, "Want to talk somethin' over."

He told Freddy what he'd heard and Freddy listened silently.

"Huh," he said when Daryl was done. "So you think I should publicize the fact that I'm leaving."

"And that me and Songbird are goin' with you," Daryl continued. "Maybe make it look like it's invitation only…"

"Are you kidding?" Freddy said before opening the door. "It is."


	75. Chapter 72

The next morning didn't dawn with much promise. In fact it was a little gloomy as Daryl's truck pulled out of the prison yard. Songbird kept her gaze on the window and held the map Maggie had drawn them of the surrounding area. Daryl had wanted back roads, not major highways, and Maggie had supplied as many as she could. They didn't see any Walkers.

At mid morning Daryl parked the truck near a stream and said, "Wanna take a walk for a while? See what we can find?"

"Sure," Songbird answered as she strapped her machete sheath on and checked her knives.

They were both wearing the bullet proof body armor Glenn had found so that eased Daryl's nervousness a little. Songbird walked a little way ahead of him when the path they were on thinned and he looked carefully at her. She'd filled out a little. With her machetes and her black armor and boots she looked pretty capable. Even sort of badass. She stopped suddenly and waved for him to catch up. His worry over Walkers disappeared when she pointed out a small herd of deer. There were three fawns in the herd and Daryl smiled at her when she grinned up at him. Badass and adorable. It was an uncommon combination and he loved it.

They walked back the way they came to avoid disturbing the deer and, though they found a few corpses, they didn't find any live Walkers. Songbird discovered a few blackberry vines and made a mental note to come back later on. Then she remembered she wouldn't be there.

"Daryl?" she asked quietly.

"What is it?"

"Did you really mean it when you said that you didn't want to go back the compound?"

"I did when I said it," he answered. "I've had a change of heart."

"Really?"

"Had a talk with Mackensie," Daryl said.

"Really?" She felt silly repeating herself, but she was too shocked to come up with anything else.

"Yeah. I'll tell you about it later. Right now I'm thinkin' we oughta head back to the truck. Looks kinda overcast."

"Do you think it'll rain?" she asked.

Daryl shrugged and squinted at the sky.

"Don't smell like it," he answered.

"Yeah, but my arm kind of twinges."

"Huh?"

"I broke it when I was 13. Sometimes it hurts when it gets rainy."

"You never told me that."

She shrugged and got into the back of the truck.

"It wasn't a big deal," she said. "It put me out of the show for three months that's all."

"How'd you do it?" he asked curiously as he followed her inside and latched the camper behind him.

"I fell off a horse," Songbird answered.

"Those things can be damn tricky," Daryl said sympathetically. "How bad was it?"

"Not bad. It broke clean and Papa Tony took me to the hospital right away. River and Ben had fun drawing on my cast. What about you? Ever break anything?"

"Ribs," Daryl said as he chewed thoughtfully. "My left wrist. Three fingers on my right hand. My right ankle. My nose. And my toe that one time."

"Whoa. I didn't expect that. How?"

"Fight with Merle. Tripped when I was out huntin'. Fight with Merle. Car accident. Fight with Merle. Drunk and kicked the kitchen table in the dark."

"Wow. You're an accident prone fellow," Songbird said, getting to her knees and punching him lightly in the shoulder. "How've you managed to stay alive this far?"

"I took up with this circus girl," he answered. "She kinda keeps me goin'."

"Is she nice?" Songbird asked. "This circus girl?"

"I'd say so. Pretty too."

"Looks aren't everything. Do you love her?"

"Yeah. I'd walk to hell and back for her," Daryl answered as he brushed her hair back and cupped the back of her neck to bring her closer.

"Why?" Songbird asked. "Why would you do that when I've…she's hurt you so badly?"

"Because she did it for me," Daryl answered.

Songbird wanted to say something, to profess her guilt once more, but looking into his eyes she couldn't.

"Never stopped lovin' you," Daryl said. "I thought it'd drive me crazy. But I never stopped."

He kissed her before she could say anything else. Daryl would have been lying if he'd said that it didn't make him a little happy that she felt so guilty for what had happened between her and Freddy, but he wasn't interested in making her remember the guilt over and over. He was ready to move on and he wanted her to move on with him. He'd learned in his years of living with his brother that when you love someone it's best to let past mistakes go. He also knew damn good and well that Songbird was less likely to take advantage of his forgiving nature than his brother had been.

He noticed that she was shaking again. He pulled back to look at her and saw tears in her eyes.

"Hey," he said in concern. "What's the matter darlin'? Is it…"

"I never thought you'd really forgive me," she admitted. "I never thought I'd be here again."

"Just consider yourself the luckiest person left on the planet," he said working her braid loose as he spoke. "Oh, and I been thinkin' about the baby thing…"

"You have?"

"And I think that we could try. When we get back to the compound," he rushed on when her entire face lit with surprised pleasure.

"Okay," Songbird agreed readily.

"And you know," he began as he sifted her red gold hair through his fingers. "If we're gonna have a baby, there's practicin' to be done. Mighta forgot how the whole process works."

"That would be terrible," she said, playing along. "We should probably get in lots of practice. Just to be sure we're still doing it right."

"That's what I thinkin'," he agreed as he pulled her into his lap.

Despite her words, as they kissed Songbird realized that she felt frozen. Not the way she had when she'd first come back, but in a confused, nervous way. He must have noticed because he pulled back again to look at her.

"You want to hear something silly?" she asked with a half laugh. He raised an eyebrow and she went on, "I think I have stage fright. I just want this to be perfect you know?"

Privately, Daryl felt the same way, but he'd never in a million years admit it to her.

"Got an idea," he said instead. "We'll go back in time."

"Um…"

"Hell, you and me used to do it all the time. What about the twenties? Or when you stopped the whole apocalypse just to be a telemarketer?"

"You want me to tell you a story?" she asked, not sure she could think of one to save her life at the moment.

"No," he said. "I'm gonna tell you one."

She lay back and watched him expectantly.

"Can't do it when you're lookin' at me," he said after a second.

Songbird obediently closed her eyes. After a few false starts in which Daryl wondered what in the hell he'd been thinking, he gained a storytelling rhythm and stopped being self conscious.

_It was drivin' Daryl crazy bein' without his girl. The whole damn compound felt too fuckin' quiet. That creepy kinda quiet that makes you feel like you got a weight on your chest and pressin' in on your eardrums so you can't sleep at night. He was okay missin' the sleep anyway 'cause when he woke up he was always reachin' for her and gettin' reminded first thing that he'd lost her._

_ There'd been a lot of smoke on the bridge when it blew and took his huntin' buddy with it and he wasn't exactly sure that Songbird had got off of it safe. He thought he'd seen some relief on Lucky's face right before that Walker took a chunk outta her, but he'd played the scene so damn many times that he wasn't real sure of any of it._

_ Rick was pushin' to go, wantin' to get away from her memory, wantin' to get away from feelin' like all he'd brought her was death. Daryl wanted to stay, wanted to wait and see her walkin' up to the gates, to put his arms around her and feel like she was more than what he saw in his dreams every night. But she didn't show up and Rick got restless. Hell, they were all restless._

_ In the end, when Daryl'd give up 'cause it hurt to fuckin' much to do anything else, they packed up and hit the road. And that wasn't no better. More death, everywhere they went somebody died. He thought about her. He still dreamed about her. He woulda swore he was dreamin' the night he walked into that cell and saw her standin' there covered in blood and dirt. Lookin' pale and sick and scared and beautiful._

_ He wanted to talk to her, but he couldn't. He hadn't been able to stand hearin' her name, let alone say it the whole time he'd been without her and for some reason he couldn't start now. She just stared at him with those big dark eyes and he was a fuckin' coward but he was sorta relieved when she passed out._

_ It took Herschel to talk some sense into Daryl, and when he did, Daryl headed down to find his girl. Back from the dead. Back home where she belonged._

"This is where you come in darlin'," Daryl said as he tugged her upright and cupped her face in his hands as he had that night he'd found her in the showers.

This time she wasn't numb. On the contrary, her body felt as if it was tingling with a combination of heat and electricity. The same way she'd felt their first time together, or last night in the hall. She tilted her chin and kissed him hungrily.

His hands slid around, one cupping the back of her neck, the other moving down to the small of her back to pull her tighter against him. He felt her pull back, but it was only so that she could pull at the snaps holding the collar of her bullet proof armor down. He liked that idea and the next few moments were full of half broken kisses and nearly desperate fumbling (body armor wasn't easy to deal with) with buttons and zippers and boot laces until they were skin to skin again for the first time in months.

Songbird ran her hands down his chest, skimming her fingers over the new scars from the crossbow bolt and then up his arms, the bullet scar from the day after they'd broken up and then she put her hand on his forehead and pushed his hair back where it covered the other bullet scar.

"Doin' inventory?" he asked with a slight smile.

"Counting my blessings," she replied. "I'm not the only one with more luck than average."

"What about you?" he asked. "Any scars I should know about?"

"Only minor ones," she answered, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the scar on his arm. "From the ravine mostly. Nothing like this."

She kissed the crossbow bolt scar and then looked up at him.

"Daryl, I missed you so much."

"Missed you too."

He wasn't sure exactly what she wanted him to do. In the past he'd taken control and she'd seemed to like it. But maybe she didn't want that anymore.

Songbird couldn't figure out what Daryl was waiting for. There was an awkwardness to the way he was touching her and his kisses seemed even a little hesitant. This wasn't like him at all.

"Daryl?" she whispered. "You do want to do this don't you?"

"Yeah," he answered so immediately that she smiled. He decided to just be honest. "I wasn't sure if you still wanted it…uh, the way it was before."

"I want it exactly the way it was before. I want you to be you and I want you to be with me and I want—"

Her sentence ended abruptly when he kissed her. She felt a sharp tug as he wrapped her hair around his hand and brought her even closer. He felt her body tense when his other hand moved between her legs. Her grip tightened as his fingers pushed inside and he felt her began to tremble against him.

She gasped for breath after several moments and then pushed his hand away.

"Not yet," she explained raggedly. "I want you."

"You got me."

"All of you."

He didn't answer, but she found herself flat on her back less than a second later.

"Always knocking me down," she teased.

"You quit likin' it and I'll quit doin' it."

He followed her down and pushed inside her. He heard her moan and felt her wrap her legs around him as her nails dug into his shoulders. It felt the same. She was just as perfect as ever and a part of him that he didn't even know was worried relaxed.

Songbird pressed her face against his neck as he moved. She'd forgotten what a tight fit they were. When her body finally relaxed into the motion she let her breath out in a whoosh.

He moved down, kissing that small hollow under her ear and relishing the way her body arched to his as he added to her pleasure. Part of him wanted to take his time, to tease her, to drag it out. The rest of him knew that wasn't going to fucking happen. He'd be bringing her off fast or not at all, and he was determined that the latter was not an option.

Songbird caught her breath when he shifted position, sitting up and moving her so that she was straddling him. She braced her hands on the split glass rail and began to move. He ducked his head to her breasts, which freed up his hands for other areas. Her head fell back when his thumb began circling her clit as his teeth closed not exactly gently on one nipple.

"Oh God, Daryl, yes," she gasped.

She started to move faster and he groaned. He moved his free hand to her hip to try to get her to slow her pace just a little. As it was it was going to be over before she knew it.

"You gotta help me out here," he said after almost ten minutes of amazing torture. "I'll make it up to you on the next round but darlin'…"

Her lips met his and she worked her body just a bit faster. He obliged her by biting her lower lip and, since she'd been holding back to drag out the pleasure anyway, she let go.

"God yeah," Daryl said in relief.

It was only seconds later that she felt his hands tighten on her hips as he came. She didn't know how she could have forgotten how much she liked the strength in his hands and the rasp in his voice at moments like this.

Songbird leaned her head on Daryl's shoulder and caught her breath. He slid down until they were lying down, him on his back, her beside him with her head on his chest.

She thought of a lot of things to say and then decided they could all wait. It had started raining at some point, a soft early spring rain that neither of them had noticed before and all she really wanted to do was lay with him and listen to the rain and the familiar rhythm of his heartbeat. Daryl pulled one of the blankets over them and wrapped his arms around her. This was pretty close to his idea of perfect.

"I love you," she whispered.

"Love you back."


	76. Chapter 73

Songbird woke up and stretched against Daryl. The sun was out again and when she glanced up at him she saw that he was already awake. He gave her a contented smile and tugged her hair gently.

"Hey."

"Hey," she replied with a smile up at him. "You look happy."

"Why the hell wouldn't I be happy?"

He kissed the top of her head and sat up. Songbird propped herself on her elbows and gave him a disappointed look when he started getting dressed. The long slow grin he gave her when he noticed sent heat down through her entire body.

"You'll have to wait," he said. "We had a job we was doin'."

"Mmm-hmm," she said without really listening. The tattoo down his back flexed as he leaned forward to tie his boots and his hair was getting kind of longish again. God, she loved him. She sat up smoothly and wrapped her arms around him, kissing down the back of his neck, breathing in his scent, relishing his taste on her lips.

"Mmm-hmm," he said in a different tone. Then he caught her hands as they traveled lower and handed her a pile of clothes. "Don't wanna be out after dark darlin'. Come on."

"Fine," she conceded. "When did you get so practical?"

"Always been practical," he said, slightly insulted. "I've just quit givin' in so much."

"Ah. Gotcha." She got dressed feeling a little awkward.

"Hey," he said after a moment. "I'm not…"

"No. You're right. I don't want you treating me like a kid, so if that means I get told no more often I guess I'll have to deal with it. So. Practicality. How far do you want to look?"

Daryl spread out the map Maggie had drawn them and pointed out where they were. Songbird leaned over and he brushed her hair back when it swung forward over the map.

"Sorry."

"I don't mind. All right. So I thought we'd head out past here," he gestured to an area with a lake, "and then pick up this road back. Maggie mentioned a fuel depot. Might be able to get something out of it."

"Sounds good to me."

She crawled through the split glass and was starting to get comfortable in the passenger seat when Daryl said, "Why don't you drive?"

"Really?"

"Shit yeah. I ain't doin' all the drivin' on the way back to Kansas in a few weeks."

She scooted over and took the keys he handed her. When he was settled into the passenger seat she cranked the truck and watched as he started chewing his thumbnail.

"I haven't even put it in gear yet," she said dryly.

"I ain't sayin' nothin'."

She smacked his hand and he shrugged.

"Hell, she was my baby before you," he pointed out. "Just…just go easy on her."

"I'll be gentle," she promised gravely.

The ride was mostly uneventful, but they did at least learn that the world wasn't Walker free. There was a pack near the fuel depot and once they'd been put down they saw what had drawn them. There was a human corpse tied to the chain link by its arms and legs crucifixion style.

When Daryl glanced at her to see how she was handling it, Songbird saw disgust and even a flash of fear in his eyes. Songbird knew she didn't look much better. The ground she stood on had seemed to tilt for a second as she fought to stay upright.

"It's just like the mall," she pointed out unnecessarily.

Daryl nodded in agreement as he stepped closer.

"What are you doing?" Songbird whispered.

"Tryin' to figure out how long ago this was," he answered just as quietly.

She waited in total silence while he examined what was left of the corpse. She felt like she was being watched, but part of her knew that it was only the sudden onset of nearly paralyzing paranoia. Daryl walked back over and gestured to the truck. She slid in and he drove away as quickly as the unkempt road allowed.

"What did you think?" she asked when they were a good distance away.

"I think we oughta get ready to move out pretty damn quick," he answered with a glance in the rearview mirror. "She was only a few days dead. Whoever they are, they've moved closer. I think they chained her there as a distraction to use that fuel depot. So they've got fuel, vehicles, enough people to overwhelm a person and use 'em as bait…"

Songbird saw his muscles tense as he spoke and she noticed that he was going even faster and keeping an eye on the rearview religiously. She agreed. They couldn't move out fast enough.

As they approached the gates though Daryl said, "Maybe we oughta keep this to ourselves for tonight."

"Why?"

"No sense causin' a panic. I oughta tell Rick first. And Mackensie. We need to maybe control what we tell everybody else."

"Okay. I won't say anything. But I'd like to be there when you tell them."

"Why?" Daryl couldn't help the suspicious tone in his voice when she said it.

"Because I was with you. I saw it too. Not because of…it's not because you're talking to Freddy."

He only nodded without promising. He was learning to deal with Mackensie, even to develop a grudging respect for the guy's strategic mind, but he'd be damned if he'd sit in a room with Mackensie and Songbird and act like everything was okay. He'd managed forgiving. He didn't think he'd ever manage forgetting.

Songbird let the matter drop and they drove through the prison gates in silence. The temptations were there. The old temptations, to ask him if he was mad, to bite her lip and let tears come to her eyes, to let the quality of her silence speak her frustration like a child. Instead she straightened her back and gave Daryl a smile as she opened her door as he put the truck in park.

"Just think about it please," was all she said.

Emma snagged Songbird's arm the minute her feet touched the garage floor.

"I have to talk to you later!"

"About wha—"

Songbird's question was cut off when Emma elbowed her in the ribs. Freddy had walked in. Emma blushed. Freddy, when he saw that Emma was there, studied the laces of his boots intently. Songbird's mouth dropped open, but before she could ask questions of her own, people started asking her questions about the trip.

Emma hung around, Freddy did not. After he got the details he disappeared, which irritated Daryl who'd wanted to plan a time to meet up with him and Rick. Oh well, he'd get Rick to handle it later. He wondered why Songbird was gazing so narrowly at Emma. Were they fighting about something he didn't know about? They were more often than not. He shrugged it off. That reminded him. Songbird was moving back in with him tonight. They hadn't discussed it, but that was the way it was fuckin' happening.

"Songbird," he called over the general din of voices in the garage. "You need help gettin' your stuff?"

"Nah," she answered. "I can—"

"You're moving out?" Emma asked. "But I need to talk to you!"

"Oh we're talking," Songbird said firmly. "We're gonna talk right now!"

She marched Emma out and into the room they shared.

"Spill it," she demanded. Freddy had looked _incredibly_ guilty.

"Are you mad at me?" Emma asked.

"No," Songbird answered. She wasn't mad. She was dying of curiosity. And she needed to know whether or not she was going to have to break Freddy's pinky.

"Okay. You know how, a while back, you said that if I didn't act like the age difference was a big deal then maybe he wouldn't either?"

"Yeah," Songbird said cautiously. Oh God, don't tell me about the sex, she chanted to herself.

"Well…we were wrestling and we were all by ourselves in the gym…"

"Uh huh," Songbird bit her lip to remain neutral faced.

"And I kissed him," Emma said working to hold back a squeal.

"And?"

"And…" Emma trailed off in confusion. 

"That's all?" Songbird asked in relief.

"Well, after a second or two he kissed me back," Emma admitted.

"Obviously—" Songbird began and then narrowed her gaze on Emma. "Was it…it was your first kiss wasn't it?"

Emma's face went red and she nodded.

"And people had the nerve to call me adorable," Songbird said with a shake of her head. "All right. I've been there. You're dying to talk about it aren't you?"

"Yes!"

"Go for it."

"Really? It won't be weird?"

"I thought it was going to be. Your adorability factor is canceling out the awkward though."

"We were wrestling," Emma began again. "And so I let him pin me—"

"Wiley," Songbird said with a grin.

"Yeah. And then I just kind of leaned up and kissed him."

"And what did he do?"

"Nothing. I got sort of worried…I thought maybe I was doing it wrong. And then after a second or two he put one hand behind my head…did you know he could do one armed push-ups?" Emma interrupted herself.

"Yeah," Songbird said with a nod. "It's cool isn't it?"

"Yep. So he put one hand behind my head and he kissed me back."

Now _there_ was a dreamy expression. It went away abruptly though as Emma looked at Songbird.

"Did he kiss you like that?" she demanded.

"I don't know how he kissed you," Songbird hedged.

Emma only crossed her arms and stared her down.

"Okay. When Freddy kissed me it was…it was good all right? When I was with him it was always sort of fun and playful and sometimes it was a little intense. Now hang on!" she said when Emma started to walk away. "Let me tell you something else. When Daryl kisses me, it's _always_ intense and it's perfect and a little desperate, and so good that my mind goes blank. _Every_ time. So if Freddy kissed you like he was never going to let you go, like he wanted to forget anything but you ever existed…then no. Freddy never kissed me like that."

After a few thoughtful seconds Emma nodded and said, "I think he might have. But then he said that maybe we shouldn't wrestle anymore and he left. And he hasn't talked to me since then."

"Well, you have to give it time. It's just because you're so young. You need to hurry and grow up. Or get Rick to write up some new laws," Songbird finished with a smile.

"Ha ha," Emma said humorlessly. "Want some help getting your stuff?"

"Eager to see me go now huh? Sure. Grab those books if you don't mind."

Emma obliged and they carried her things back up the hall. Songbird organized her books along the wall, folded her clothes and lay them next to his on the opposite top bunk since Michelangelo had claimed the bottom one, and then fluffed the pillows.

"So you guys are really back together?" Emma questioned.

Songbird nodded and stretched out across the bed happily.

"And he isn't mad about Freddy?"

"I don't think he's _happy_, but he doesn't hate me for it anymore." Songbird sat back up and Emma was sorry she'd asked when she saw the sadness in her sister's eyes. "Did you ever do anything you were desperate to take back?"

Emma thought hard and then said, "My mom…she died right at the start of this whole thing…I was mad at her. She was panicked, trying to get all the essentials in the car, trying to find Greg, he was at a friend's house, and she told me I couldn't take everything I had packed. I…I didn't believe that it could be that bad. I thought we'd end up in Atlanta for a few days, they'd quarantine and then we'd get back to our lives. I snapped at her. I told her she was paranoid and crazy and that if anything happened to my stuff while we were gone I was never going to forgive her. She got bitten later that day. It happened so fast…"

"It always does," Songbird agreed. "I think that's what makes it so hard. There's no time to say good bye."

"What about your mom? Was she bitten?"

"No. She died when I was ten. Cancer. She lived for almost a year after the diagnosis. River, my sister, and Papa Tony, they got bitten. Eaten alive in front of me."

"My mom turned," Emma said. "It was before we knew what a bite would do. We were on the road to Atlanta; traffic was backed up like crazy. Those…things…kept walking down the road, stumbling the way they do, pressing their faces to the car windows… Her fever was through the roof and all of a sudden she just fell to the side. Her head hit the glass. It was so loud. Dad jerked her against him and he felt for a pulse and there wasn't one. We didn't know what to do. The traffic finally started to move forward, but Dad turned us around and headed back to the local hospital. He knew they wouldn't let us into the city with a…a body. Greg was asleep. He didn't know. But I was watching her so I saw when she started to move. Her eyes opened and she sat up, Dad had leaned her against the window again, and she reached out for him. I knew what it meant that her eyes looked like that. It was just like the ones on the highways and in the cars. I reached up and opened her door, she was still mostly leaned against it, and she fell out."

"That was quick thinking though," Songbird said. "You probably saved Brad's life."

"I killed what was left of my mother to do it," Emma said, looking down at her hands. "I know it doesn't make sense that I feel guilty, but I do."

"I think everyone feels guilty when they have to put down someone they loved," Songbird said. "I've never had to do it. Maybe I wouldn't even be able to."

Or maybe she'd be like Rooster. The strength to put the person she loved out of their misery, but no strength to go on without them. Or maybe she'd do what Daryl had done when he thought he'd lost her and just forget them as totally as possible. There were too many options for dealing with death now.

Daryl got Rick's attention before he left the garage.

"Need to talk to you," he said in an undertone. "And I was wonderin' if you'd find that jackass Mackensie. Need to talk to him too."

Rick looked surprised but he went to find Freddy and they met up with Daryl in the gym. It was the best place for having a conversation unheard because there was only one door in and someone could keep an eye on it at all times.

"What is it?" Rick asked.

"Didn't tell ya'll everything about the road trip," Daryl said.

He filled them in about the corpse on the fence. Rick looked shocked, Freddy was only thoughtful. Daryl decided to give him a minute to work. Being raised by a paranoid Vietnam Vet made a person think a little different.

"Who do you think would…" Rick began.

"They by-passed us," Freddy said. "The mall people. It doesn't mean they won't come back, but for now they don't seem to be interested."

"But why are they doing this?" Rick demanded. "What's the point?"

"Fear," Freddy began, listing reasons on his fingers. "Power. Insanity. Nothing we want to deal with."

"We'd be able to defend the prison though," Rick said. "It's not exactly supposed to be easy access."

"No," Daryl said. "But they got access to fuel and from the tracks in the dirt it ain't all cars. Swear to God it looked like a fuckin' tank had been through there."

"Maybe the military," Rick pointed out.

"Too recent," Daryl argued. "Unless there's a band of crazy ass Marines out there sacrificin' people and joyridin' in tanks. Which means we sure as fuck don't wanna deal with 'em."

"You don't have the firepower," Freddy said flatly. "If they've got the numbers you're fucked. And from what he's saying," he nodded to Daryl. "They do. Might be a good time to plan on moving out."

Daryl realized Freddy's game at the same time Rick saw that a ticket back to the compound wasn't a guarantee.

"Compound closed?" Rick asked tightly.

"Not necessarily," Freddy countered. "Just haven't decided how many people I need to run the place."

"Did you know about this?" Rick asked Daryl.

Daryl only shrugged.

"If we're done here," Freddy said, letting the sentence trail off.

No one replied so he walked out. Rick turned to Daryl.

"You're going aren't you?"

"I been asked," Daryl admitted. "He wants to keep Songbird safe. He'll take me if he's got no choice."

"This is because of Lori," Rick said, to Daryl's shock. "Because she and I got back together after I lost Lucky."

"Hell, I don't know about that," Daryl said, but he was starting to wonder if it was true. He'd expected Rick to be one of the ones Mackensie asked back. Now that he hadn't Daryl wasn't so sure about this plan.

"I do," Rick replied definitively. "I guess it's my job to tell everybody they might not be safe anymore?"

"It's what we keep you around for," Daryl answered to try and lighten the mood. It didn't work. Rick cast him a dark look and walked out.

Freddy walked up the hall in deep thought. He knew Daryl wanted him to invite Rick. Rick was, no question, more level headed and less dangerous than Shane. Too bad he hated Rick. He sighed and sat down in the hall with his back to the bars of his cell. It wasn't about that. It wasn't about emotion.

"Come on," he muttered, not sure who he was actually talking to in moments like this. Freddy wasn't a believer the way his sister had been. "Couldn't leave me one person to talk with about stuff like this?" He was desperate for his fathers and his sister. They would have helped him work this out. Rooster for the strategy. James with the human angle. Lucky for the competitive edge to make him want to solve the problem before she could.

"Are you okay?"

Emma.

"Never stand when you can sit," he said in a weak attempt at humor. He couldn't deal with what he felt for her at the same time he was planning so many other things. When she was around he couldn't deal with anything but what he felt for her. "What's up?"

"Nothing," she twisted her fingers together. In times like these she reminded him of Songbird and that was always an extra dollop of weirdness. "I just wanted to…we left things kind of weird don't you think?"

_We left things kind of frustrating_, Freddy thought privately. And even more, kind of pathetic. What the hell was wrong with him? Lucky would be having fits of laughter.

"Um…Freddy?"

Great. Now he'd sat there in silence for so long that he'd freaked her out. He thought he'd finally gotten over this.

"Emma, I…" he wanted to tell her that she was just a kid. That she wouldn't understand. That he was trying to keep her safe. "Motherfucker!" Okay, he hadn't meant to say that out loud. "Wait," he said quickly when she took a step back. "I'm not…that wasn't meant for you. I had a revelation." A motherfucking revelation. Those words could have come directly from Daryl Dixon. In fact he was sure he'd heard them all from the guy at some point. It had driven him crazy back in the compound to see Songbird treated like that and here he was doing the same thing. "Okay. Want to hear everything that's going on?"

"Sure," she answered quickly.

"Sit."

She sat beside him and he explained everything. He told her what Daryl had told him about Shane and Lori, about not inviting everyone back to the compound, about the body at the fuel depot, and about how he really, really, liked her. And how it made him feel like a sicko because of her age. And how much he'd enjoyed their kiss. And how he gave her serious props for the sneakiness factor of it.

"I want you to come back with me," he finished. "I mean, obviously not just you. Your whole family. I'm already taking Songbird and Daryl and Michelangelo anyway. So…talk to Brad okay?"

"Okay," she said slowly, thinking through the information he'd shared. "Can I talk to Songbird about the other stuff?"

"Yeah. Songbird and Daryl and me. But that's it Emma. I trusted you with a lot and I'm counting on you to…"

"I won't tell," she made a face at how young she'd sounded. "But…about the kiss—"

"Can't," Freddy cut in. "Can't…not yet. It's just…you're too…this would have gotten me arrested two years ago."

"Two years ago I was 14," she said.

"Oh God. That's enough for tonight. Go to bed. Talk to your dad. We'll talk when you're 18." He stood up determinedly.

"And what am I supposed to do in the meantime?" she demanded. "Write "Hold for Freddy Mackensie" on my forehead?"

He laughed and pulled her against him before he thought better of it.

"I like it," he answered.

"Oh really?"

"Really."

He hadn't meant to kiss her again. At least not for two years. But she'd smiled up at him, he already had her in his arms…this time she melted against him and he found himself burying his fingers in her hair as her arms moved shyly around his shoulders.

Songbird stopped in her tracks. Daryl, who'd just stepped out of the cell, ran into her. He saw the kiss, but his main interest was in her reaction to it. Her eyebrows had shot up in surprise, but he didn't see any anger or hurt. Hell, maybe he could let them in a room together. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye and realized Brad was coming up the hall.

Songbird cleared her throat emphatically and Freddy and Emma pulled apart. From the look on Brad's face though it had happened a few seconds too late. Daryl watched to see how the situation would play out. The look on Mackensie's face was fuckin' priceless.

"Oh come on!" Songbird finally said into the silence. "We all saw it coming."

Emma tucked her disheveled hair behind her ears and chewed her lower lip as the tension got heavier and heavier.

"Go to your room," Brad finally said.

"What?" Emma asked in shock.

Daryl held back a snort of laughter at the pained expression on Mackensie's face. Making out with a girl one minute and then realizing she was still young enough to be sent to her room. Seriously. Fuckin' priceless.

"Brad come on," Songbird said with an edge of laughter in her voice. "She's…"

"I think I can handle this without your input," Brad said stiffly. "If you're okay with your sister kissing your ex that's your business. I—"

"He's not even really my ex," Songbird pointed out calmly. "We weren't ever really more than friends."

"Hell she's sixteen," Daryl said when Brad gave Songbird a long look that said she wasn't helping. "That ain't—"

"I _certainly_ don't need your take on it all," Brad snarled.

"Okay look," Freddy finally said. He was going to come off like an idiot, he just knew it. But he had to say something. "I'm…I tried not to like her all right?" Yep. Idiot. Now Emma looked embarrassed. "But…I do. A lot. I was going to you know, talk to you about it in a year or so…"

"But instead you decided to just kiss her in the hall for everyone to see?"

"That wasn't the plan! I was just going to hug her and then…well, I didn't. But, hell you really don't want me taking her in there do you?" he pointed to his room.

"Anyway," Emma said. "I kissed him first."

Freddy facepalmed. Songbird pressed her face against Daryl's shoulder and snorted out a laugh.

"Ya'll oughta talk the whole thing out," Daryl suggested helpfully. "Just get it all in the open."

Freddy gave him a dirty look and Daryl gave him an innocent grin. Emma looked up at Freddy hopefully and he sighed. Songbird and Daryl decided that was their exit.

"Don't be too hard on him," Songbird whispered as she walked past Brad. "He's a good guy. He's pretty much nothing like you were at that age."


	77. Chapter 74

"What you mean you ain't goin'?" Daryl asked, his bellow muffled due to the fact that he was underneath his truck.

"I mean I'm not going," Glenn replied as he slid the toolbox closer to Daryl.

"Why the fuck not?"

"Well, Maggie's not going. Maggie's not going because Herschel's not going," Glenn explained before Daryl could ask. "She won't leave him and I'm not leaving her."

"Look you gotta talk some sense into that girl," Daryl said. "She was at the mall. She saw the shit these people are capable of!"

"I know," Glenn said miserably. "Hell, I miss the compound just as much as anyone. Hot water, fresh vegetables, video games, and you know, the safety. But unless she can talk Herschel into it I'm stuck here."

"And we're stuck there without a damn doctor," Daryl grumbled.

"Ah ha," Glenn said dryly. "It's my future father in law you really wanted."

"Shit," Daryl drawled. "What have you ever done for me?"

"I seem to recall winning you a football game. And the life saving. I've done that too. You got me kidnapped."

"Yeah. But that was a long time ago. And I'm sayin' what have you done for me lately?"

"Why do you pick on me when you're in a good mood?" Glenn complained.

Daryl shrugged and said, "I guess 'cause you make it so damn easy. Don't believe you no way. You'll end up taggin' along."

"I hope so," Glenn said seriously. "Freddy said he was planning on heading out in a few days."

"Yeah," Daryl agreed. "Why you think I'm doin' this? Shits and giggles? Hand me that wrench."

Glenn obliged and Daryl tightened the last bolt, convinced that at the truck was in good enough shape for at least one more long trip.

"Move your fingers," he ordered as he stood up and dropped the hood.

"You're gonna talk to Herschel aren't you?" Glenn asked as Daryl stepped back and looked the truck over with crossed arms.

"Hell yeah I'm gonna talk to Herschel," Daryl snapped. "I ain't spendin' my time in that compound with just Mackensie and Brad for company. And if you're actually plannin' on knockin' Maggie up she ain't raisin' a kid in a prison."

Daryl strode away purposefully and Glenn allowed himself to hope. Herschel and Daryl hadn't started out on the right footing exactly, but they got along well enough now. Maybe Herschel would listen. Daryl could paint a vivid picture of danger when he wanted to and Glenn knew that he'd been seriously unnerved by the sight at the fuel depot.

"So Brad and company are on board," Songbird confirmed with Freddy while Daryl fixed the truck.

"Yep," he confirmed, as he leaned against the fire escape railing as he sharpened his hunting knife. "Damn that took some convincing."

"He's never seen the awesomeness that is the compound," Songbird pointed out. "And Brad thinks you're after Emma's virtue."

Her lips tilted in a half smile when Freddy's ears and neck went dull red.

"If it makes you feel better I've decided not to break your pinky finger," she went on.

"Whatever. I wasn't going to let you anyway."

"Let me? You really think you could stop me?"

"Only all day long."

"Anyway," she said after a minute, forcing herself into a businesslike tone. It was way too easy to get into what could be seen as flirtatious banter with Freddy. "Me and Daryl, Brad, Emma, and Greg. Maggie and Glenn if they can get Herschel on board. What about Rick?"

"I'm planning to let that play out on its own," Freddy said. "Daryl's trying to force a confrontation to work out the whole Rick/Lori/Shane thing. I think it's a good idea. Right now I'm trying to create kind of a pressure cooker situation."

"I think it's working," Songbird said. "I saw Lori and Shane talking earlier…he looked tense and she looked really mad. Rick's been mostly quiet."

Freddy nodded and said, "I wanted to have a word with Andrea and Dale but I couldn't find them."

Songbird looked out across the yard.

"I don't know," she said. "Dale's usually up there."

She pointed to the top of the RV and Freddy nodded with a half laugh.

"What about Axle?"

"I haven't made up my mind," Freddy said. "I'm not sure he'd go even if I asked him actually. Seems like a pretty good guy though."

"I've always liked him," she said. "Seems kind of unfair not to."

"Don't get all soft hearted. You'll be suggesting we take everybody."

"Well…" she began but she stopped when she heard Andrea's scream.

"Come on Herschel. Thought we'd got past the point where you was pretendin' all this was worth hangin' on to," Daryl said in frustration. "You wantin' to raise your grandkids in a damn prison?"

"Listen, I said I'd think about it," Herschel said tiredly. "You don't have to drive it home further."

"Just makin' sure you got lots to think about," Daryl said. "It ain't like you got a shit load of time—"

He broke off when he heard a scream and a gun shot from behind the left side of the prison. He remembered seeing Andrea and Dale heading out for a walk between the fences and, like a punch to the ribs, he remembered Songbird telling him about the hole she'd found. The hole he was supposed to fix that he'd totally forgotten about.

"Fuck."

He ran for the gate, relieved when Rick and Shane both made it there at about the same time he did. They pulled it open and followed the sounds of Andrea's gunshots to the hole in the fence. The hoard of Walkers were sort of bottlenecked and Andrea was shooting steady even though her face was pale.

"I've got this. Get Dale!" she screamed at Shane when he aimed the shotgun.

Dale was on the ground missing the majority of his right foot. Daryl helped Shane drag him back out of range of the Walkers, not that it mattered now. There wasn't time to deal with the Walkers and an injury so they retreated.

"Do something!" Andrea begged Herschel after the gate was closed.

"You know there's nothing I can do," he said. "The infection—"

"Maybe it hasn't had time to spread," Rick cut in suddenly. "Maybe it's not the infection. Maybe it's dying from it."

"What are you talking about?" Shane demanded. "You know what we've got to do!"

"Wait!" Andrea demanded. "What are you suggesting?"

"We cut off his foot," Rick said calmly.

"You've lost your goddamn mind!" Daryl said roughly.

"What are you saying?" Songbird asked breathlessly, having just arrived on the scene. "What—"

She didn't get to finish. Rick yanked the fire axe Daryl always carried from his belt and brought it down, removing Dale's foot clean just above the ankle.

"Oh!" Songbird gasped as Daryl stepped forward too late to stop Rick.

Herschel pushed them all back and knelt down; he counted his lucky stars that Dale had passed out.

"I really wish you had done that in the infirmary," he said. "Songbird, I need—" he looked up at her and saw that she was swaying on her feet. "Daryl. I need horsehair and plenty of it to tie off the arteries. Hurry, I've got to work fast before he bleeds to death."

Daryl bolted. Andrea knelt by Dale. Shane reached out and caught Songbird as she stumbled. She leaned heavily against him and tried to catch her breath. Rick simply watched the scene with an unreadable expression. Freddy pulled his belt off and helped Herschel with the tourniquet. Daryl came back and handed Herschel the horsehair. Shane passed Songbird off to him and he wrapped her in his arms tightly, pressing her face against his shoulder.

When Herschel was done Shane and Daryl helped him carry Dale to the infirmary. Herschel had sent Emma ahead to prepare and when they got there she hooked him up to an IV with quick professional movements. Songbird had never respected her more than in that moment. Her sister was helping bandage an amputated limb without even losing color in her face. Damn.

The room spun as Songbird made the mistake of looking at what Emma was bandaging.

"Damn," she muttered just before the floor rose up to meet her.

"You gonna make a habit of that?" Daryl asked when he saw her eyes open later that night.

"Did you carry me back?" she asked, observing that they were in their room again.

"No. You walked even though you were unconscious."

"You're getting awfully mouthy," she informed him. "I just passed out. Forgive my confusion."

"Yeah, I carried you back," he answered with a grin as he brushed her hair back. "And actually you passed out about two hours ago. Herschel said I oughta let you sleep it off."

"How's Dale?"

"What Herschel calls "stable." Whatever the hell that means. He ain't dead and he ain't a Walker. They're waitin' to see."

"If I ever get hurt you keep Rick away from me," Songbird said.

"I don't know that he don't have a point," Daryl said. "Maybe it is just dyin' from the infection that's the problem. Andrea asked Mackensie about the compound and he gave her and Dale an okay. So we're gonna have to wait to leave till he gets better. If he does."

"Are you okay?" she asked after a moment.

He was sitting on the lower bunk across from her, absently rubbing Michelangelo's ears. His shoulders were slumped and he was frowning faintly.

"No. I shouldn't have forgot about the damn fence."

"You aren't responsible for all of us all the time," Songbird said, sitting up to make her point better.

"Yeah, but you told me about the fence and I—"

"I told a few people about the fence," she cut in to absolve his guilt as quickly as possible. "Shane and Freddy and Glenn. It just kind of slipped through the cracks. It's awful, but it's not your fault."

He didn't answer, but after a moment he got up and walked across the small room to lie beside her. She wrapped her arms around him and stretched up to kiss his cheek.

"Maybe it'll be okay," she said, wishing that she could give a more confident reassurance, but knowing better than to lie to him.

"Maybe."

Neither of them held out much hope, so it was a pleasant surprise when they went to breakfast the next day and Andrea reported that Dale was awake and that he showed no sign of infection.

"No fever?" Daryl asked in shock. "No—"

"No nothing," Andrea confirmed unable to keep a smile from spreading across her face. "Herschel says we can be optimistic."

"That's amazing!" Songbird gave Andrea a hug and then threw her arms around Daryl when she saw that the guilt had lifted.

Her good mood didn't last long though. After breakfast Lori pulled her aside.

"I want to talk to you," the other woman said.

"Sure."

They walked up the hall to the room Lori and Rick shared and Lori closed the door.

"You have to talk to Freddy," she said flatly.

"About what?"

"About the compound. He hasn't asked us and I know that it's because Rick and I got back together after Lucky died."

"I don't know—" Songbird began awkwardly.

"You have to find a way for him to get over this whole thing with Rick!" Lori said. "You have to convince him!"

"It's not just that," Songbird said. "It's Freddy's home and he has to make sure it's safe for everyone that he brings into it."

"Rick isn't a threat and neither am I! And what about my children? What about Judy? Do you want me to have to raise her like this?"

"Lori it's not my decision. Freddy—"

Lori snorted derisively.

"Do you really think you can tell me you don't have any influence? Why else would Daryl be going? All those two have ever done is fight over you! How safe is that going to be in the long run for everyone?"

"Listen, Freddy and I are friends and nothing more. Daryl's okay with leaving the past in the past. I don't know how else to tell you that there's nothing I can do."

"Nothing you _will_ do. How can you do this to us?"

"I'm not doing anything to you! There isn't tension between Freddy and Daryl over me. Not anymore. Can you say the same for Rick and Shane? Can you say that's a stable situation?" Songbird demanded.

"That's none of your business!" Lori shot back.

"It sure as hell is my business," Songbird answered. "People follow Rick and it drives Shane crazy and you know it. And you're playing a dangerous game with them. With all of us. They aren't both going. I can tell you that much for sure. Maybe you should decide what you want more."

Lori didn't say anything for several seconds.

"How long have you known?" she finally asked.

"Is that the important part?" Songbird demanded.

"How long?"

"A few days. Rick and Shane are a powder keg waiting to go off and you're the fuse. You have to stop this. Don't you see what the world is turning into?"

"And who are you to preach restraint to me?" Lori demanded.

"This isn't about who I'm sleeping with! That worked itself out; I don't think this will! Shane's not—he isn't like Freddy or Daryl. He's—"

"Get out," Lori said with ice in her voice.

Songbird threw her hands up and left the room. Her heart skipped a beat when Shane put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his side.

"Let's take a walk," he said.

She ran her finger over the knives in her wrist sheath and nodded, not that it mattered. Shane pushed her out onto the fire escape and closed the door behind them.

"So," he began. "You know. Who else does?"

"I don't know," she lied.

He laughed and said, "It doesn't really matter anyway. Listen there's one thing you don't have to worry about. I'm not going back to that compound."

"You're not?"

"Why the hell would I? I'm sick and tired of playing by everyone else's rules. Tired of watching Rick make mistakes. Tired of watching you all watching me to see if I'm going to break."

"I can see how that would be exhausting," Songbird admitted. "Shane…are you sure you couldn't just—"

"Get along with everyone?" he interrupted. "Share my woman, my daughter, and risk my life for a group of people that don't give a damn about the things I say?"

"Sort of," she said. "I'm guessing that's a no."

"You could say that. So you go back and you tell Mackensie not to bother asking me. But he sure as fuck needs to ask Rick."

Shane walked back inside before she could say anything else. Not that she could have thought of anything else to say. It was apparently going to be a strange day.

"Weird?" Freddy asked when she told him. "Nah. I kind of thought it might work out like this."

"Oh really? So you're all knowing now?" Songbird was annoyed at the lack of wow factor her news had received.

"Just smarter than you," Freddy said with a grin. "Have you told Daryl?"

"Not yet. Shane said tell Mackensie. So I did."

"What ya'll talkin' about?" Daryl asked from the doorway.

Songbird regretted meeting up with Freddy in his room when she saw the look on Daryl's face. But his door had been open and she hadn't been thinking about how it might look.

"Um," she began, totally flustered.

Freddy took over and gave Daryl an account of the last hour. Gradually the suspicion left his eyes. Songbird let her breath out in relief.

"Now you just gotta man up and talk to Rick," Daryl pointed out.

"Yeah," Freddy said grudgingly. "It doesn't matter right now though anyway does it? We're waiting on Dale."

Daryl wondered if the waiting made Freddy as tense as it made him. Something wasn't right. He just didn't know what that "something" was.


	78. Chapter 75

"I'm so glad you're okay," Songbird said, giving Dale a smile. "I would have been worried if I wasn't unconscious."

"Me too," Dale said dryly.

"So when you think you'll feel up to hittin' the road?" Daryl asked.

"Herschel says two more days," Andrea answered before Dale could. "No sooner."

Songbird could tell it was an argument they'd had before so she excused herself. Daryl followed her to their room. He'd looked preoccupied all day. She'd thought that maybe seeing Dale healing and non-Walkerfied would set his mind at ease but it hadn't seemed to help very much.

"Daryl," she whispered when they got into bed.

"What is it?"

She didn't answer; she just wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. Even the kiss was distracted. When she slid her hand down the front of his jeans several minutes later, she realized just how distant he was. He barely seemed to notice when she pulled back.

"Are you okay?" she asked, trying not to sound frustrated.

"Yeah." Daryl realized belatedly why she was asking. Fuck. "Sorry darlin'…it's just…I don't know. You ever get the feelin' somethin' real bad's gonna happen and you ain't gonna be able to stop it?"

"Only every day since the whole apocalypse started."

"No. Not like a Walker or some shit like that. Somethin' that ain't normal." And wasn't it fucked up that being eaten alive constituted his normal now? "I keep thinkin' about the mall. And the fuel depot. Wish we could just pack up and get outta here tonight."

"Two days," Songbird said. "We've got two days. Have you heard what Lori's planning?"

"No," Daryl said shortly. "Have you?"

"No. But Freddy finally asked Rick."

"Yeah I know. He said he'd think about it."

"What is there to think about?" Songbird asked.

"Hell, I don't know. That's just what he said."

Songbird, sensing that Daryl wasn't in the mood for talking anymore than he was in the mood for anything else, rolled over and eventually went to sleep. Daryl lay awake for a long time. Was there something he was forgetting to do? Something he was forgetting to pack? Something wrong with the truck? The questions went on until nearly midnight.

Also on his mind was the fact that he hadn't told Songbird about his conversation with Rick. Apparently Rick had known about Lori and Shane or at least suspected it.

"Damn it Rick you can't say no!" Daryl had said in irritation. "What about your kids? Just throw her ass in the RV and haul out—"

"What if I don't want to?" Rick had cut in. "Maybe I'm sick of being with a woman who uses every excuse to avoid being with me. Did you ever think about that?"

"Yeah," Daryl had agreed, surprised at the venom in Rick's voice. "I mean you know I wondered why you took her back in the first place but—"

"You're one to talk about that. Songbird fucked Freddy up and down this place and you let her crawl right back in bed with you."

"Christ Rick," Daryl had said. "What the fuck's the matter with you?"

Rick had laughed without humor and rubbed his hands down his face.

"Do I spend my life with a woman I can't love anymore or do I lose my kids?" he'd asked Daryl.

Daryl hadn't known what to say. Rick had shaken his head and turned to walk away.

"I'll let you know," he'd called over his shoulder.

Daryl still hadn't heard what Rick planned to do. It worried him to think of Rick staying here. It worried him to think of Rick going. Would he take the kids and leave Lori? Take them all and risk Shane losing it? There were so many variables. So many ways things could go wrong. Daryl cursed and tried to make his mind blank. Only the fact that he was exhausted enabled him to go to sleep and then he woke up at the very crack of dawn.

Daryl pushed his hands through his hair and sat up. Songbird reached out sleepily and ran her hand down his back.

"What's the matter?"

He turned and looked down at her. She looked so worried about him.

"Nothin'," he said. "Come here."

She sat up and leaned against him. When his lips moved down her neck she was a little surprised. Daryl Dixon was many things, but morning person didn't top the list.

"Got last night to make up for," he explained as if he'd read her mind.

"Then I guess you'd better get started," she said with a teasing smile.

He pushed her back and covered her body with his, kissing her until she arched against him.

"A little more interested Mr. Dixon?" she asked.

"You're gettin' me intrigued," he confirmed.

All the intrigue was proven pointless approximately five minutes later.

"What do you mean he's not there?" Lori shrieked from across the hall.

"What the fuck?" Daryl groaned.

Songbird wriggled out from underneath him and went into the hall. He followed when he was dressed.

"Everybody tone it down!" he ordered into the pandemonium. It worked. He raked his hands through his hair and said, "What's the problem?"

"Greg and Carl had a sleepover in one of the empty cells," Songbird said quickly. "They aren't there now."

Daryl looked unamused.

"Do we know they aren't in the prison?" Freddy asked.

Lori shook her head, looking wide eyed and panicked.

"Then let's look," Daryl said slowly as if he was speaking to a child. "All through the prison before you start flippin' out."

He stomped off. Then he stomped back and grabbed Songbird's arm.

"You're with me."

"Yes sir."

They combed through the prison thoroughly and didn't turn up anything. If anything it got worse. Michelangelo was gone too.

Brad was as panicked as Lori, but he handled it a bit better. He had Emma to think about. Her face was pale and worried. She looked so upset that he didn't even mind when Freddy put his arm around her and pulled her against him.

"So we need a search party," Freddy said. "And people to stay here just in case."

Freddy didn't take charge much, so when he did, people tended to listen. In less than half an hour they were moving out. Four search parties in four separate directions. He headed north, Daryl south, Rick west, and Songbird east. He'd seen the look Daryl gave him when he assigned Songbird to head up a team, but with Dale defenseless, Andrea wasn't budging, and Shane had stayed behind as well. There wasn't really anyone more qualified than Songbird.

Daryl caught Songbird's arm before he turned to go.

"Come with me."

"I can't. Brad's flipping out; Em's not much better." They were the "team" she'd been put in charge of. Daryl was with Glenn. Rick had Axle and Freddy had been about to go it alone until Maggie volunteered. "Please be careful."

He nodded and then pulled her closer, kissing her quickly. She held on longer than she should have. He looked worried and she felt an answering shot of fear.

Daryl forced the urge to keep her with him away. She'd probably come with him if he made her. And then Freddy could go with Brad. And then he'd be right back where he started from with controlling her.

"See you back tonight. Right at seven okay?"

She nodded and turned to go.

"You've got your knives?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Machetes sharp?"

"Yes."

"Boots tied tight?"

"Yes!"

"Just checkin'. See you at seven."

"Daryl!" she called when he turned.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too darlin'."

Glenn was looking worriedly at Maggie as she and Freddy headed off. Daryl punched him in the shoulder.

"If I can do it so can you," he said gruffly. "Let's find those little punks so I can beat the shit out of 'em."

2.

Songbird sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. They'd been out for hours and they hadn't found any sign of the kids. Michelangelo hadn't responded to her low whistles either. While she recognized the reasoning behind the boys' dog-napping, she also had plans to make sure they never "borrowed" Michelangelo again. Little jackasses. What had they been thinking? Greg was a pretty cautious kid, but he worshipped the ground Carl walked on since he was older and knew how to use a gun. And Carl had lately seemed a little too interested in Walkers to Songbird's mind. She'd tried to bring the matter up to Lori back when they were on speaking terms, but Lori had insisted that someone had an eye on Carl pretty much all the time and that he was just curious.

"Yeah. _Who_ exactly has an eye on Carl now Lori?" Songbird muttered.

To make matters worse, in pursuing some suspicious activity in the underbrush, they'd gotten off course. And the rustling had been Walkers. Songbird hadn't had much trouble taking them down but there was no water nearby and she'd gotten splattered with sludgy blood which was now dried on her skin. It itched, but she knew better than to scratch.

"We're too far south," Brad said, breaking into her reverie.

"I know," she answered shortly. "I thought we'd top the ridge and double back. And don't tell Daryl. I got a little confused when we were deeper in the woods."

Brad and Emma only nodded and continued to follow her up the grade. Her boot lace caught on some briars and she stopped to untangle it, waving them on ahead of her. She wondered about Daryl. Was he okay? Just him and Glenn. Out there alone. What if they'd found Walkers too? One of the herds? What if he was…

"Need some help?" a voice from up the ridge said.

Her heart stopped. It was too far away to be talking to her. She dropped down and looked up the hill. A man was reaching toward Emma. He pulled her up to the top of the ridge. Three more men stepped up and looked down the hill. Songbird was dressed in brown pants and her green shirt; she wouldn't be easily seen. She drew a knife slowly.

"You all alone?" the man's voice, outwardly friendly and interested, continued.

Emma didn't answer. Brad kept quiet too. It wouldn't be the easiest throw in the world, but she could probably drop him. But what would the other two do when he fell? They might run. They might shoot. They all had guns. More than one each.

Maybe she could just stay hidden and follow them back, see where they went and get another search party. Yes. That was the best plan. She slid the knife back into the sheath and prayed that Emma and Brad didn't give her away.

A dark haired man walked up behind Emma and put his arm around her.

"She's a pretty one isn't she?" he asked with a nod to his companions. They grabbed Brad before he could move; when he fought one raised his handgun and cuffed Brad across the back of the head with it. "The Governor should be happy. He was complaining that the fights were getting stale."

"Daddy!" Emma cried as the second man tossed Brad's limp form over his shoulder.

"Feisty too." The man pressed a kiss to Emma's bare neck.

"Songbird!" Emma shrieked as she kicked and struggled.

"Damnit," Songbird whispered savagely. Oh well. She stood up and started up the hill. One man started toward her and received a knife in the throat for his trouble.

The other man dropped Brad and reached for her. She kicked him in the groin and then spun, kicking him in the side of the head as he bent double. She hadn't seen the fourth or fifth men. They'd been in the car. She was aware of a bright flash of pain and then nothing.


	79. Chapter 76

1.

Daryl trudged back to the meeting point. His boots felt like they weighed about twenty pounds each and the mud he'd slogged through in the swampy area he and Glenn had found didn't help matters.

"You saw the size of that thing right?" Glenn repeated for the fifth time.

"It wasn't that big."

"It was! It was…"

"Fine. It was a goddamn anaconda. Now will you shut the fuck up about it? Snakes live in swamps. End of story."

"Okay, okay," Glenn said sulkily. "I'm just sayin'."

"I know. You've already 'just said'. How 'bout you just drop it," Daryl snarled.

Mackensie and Maggie were already back. Glenn went to tell the snake story to a more appreciative audience. Daryl leaned against his truck and let Mary Jane slide to the ground. The bow wasn't heavy but carrying it for twelve hours wasn't exactly relaxing. He nodded at Axle and Rick when they showed up about ten minutes later. No one had found anything.

"If Songbird hasn't turned anything up, I'm going to stay out and keep looking," Rick said as they waited.

"No," Freddy said. "You'll go back with the rest of us and make sure they aren't back. Then you can do whatever you want. We stick to the plan so we know where everyone is."

Rick looked like he was going to say something but Daryl said, "Mackensie's right. It ain't like we can call your fuckin' cell phone if we need you."

It was already practically dark. Seven o'clock came and went. Then seven thirty. Then eight o'clock. Songbird didn't show up.

"We've got to get back," Axle said after awhile. "I know she ain't showed," he continued when Daryl gave him a defiant look. "But what Freddy said is right. We oughta at least check in. Maybe she went back there, you follow me?"

"She wouldn't have," Daryl and Freddy said at the same time.

"But he's right," Freddy went on after a long moment. "We told them we'd check back in and now we've got to. We need to keep track of each other." When Daryl didn't move Freddy said, "We'll leave the Jeep. She knows how to get back from here right?"

Daryl nodded and grudgingly followed the rest. Where the hell could she be? God not again. Not again.

2.

Songbird opened her eyes in a small room. Emma sat in front of her. Tears had dried on her cheeks and when she saw that Songbird was awake she began to cry again.

"What's wrong?" Songbird asked as she sat up.

"I'm such an idiot," Emma sobbed. "I'm so sorry!"

Songbird reached to pat her on the shoulder and realized that her arms were tied behind her back. Emma was trussed up the same way. It was a surreal feeling.

"Where's my stuff?" she asked.

"They took it." Brad answered from the corner. "The guns too."

Songbird didn't give a damn about the guns. She'd learned to shoot at the compound, but with the noise and her proficiency with knives she'd never learned to love it.

"They took them where?" she asked as she stood up. They hadn't tied her feet together. They'd find out what a mistake that was when they opened the door.

"Down the hall," Brad said with a shrug. "They didn't exactly tell me."

"Does anyone know where we are? Or how far away from home we are?" Songbird asked. "I was out cold."

"Me too," Brad said.

"I guess they covered your eyes or something?" Songbird asked Emma.

Emma shook her head.

"No, we're in Woodbury. It took a long time to get here."

Songbird's heart sank. If they knew that Emma knew where they were then that meant, worst case scenario, that they weren't planning on letting them go. Best case scenario they simply didn't care if people knew where they were. She didn't think that was the case. She began to pace. Her head hurt and when she flexed her shoulders she felt dried blood crackle along her neck.

"What'd they hit me with?" she asked idly.

"The big guy hit you with his gun," Emma answered. "I heard them call him Martinez."

"Is he in charge?"

"I don't think so. He kept talking about the Governor."

"The Governor." Thinking back, Songbird remembered one of the other's mentioning him as well. "Hell, this is an apocalypse. Why not King? At least your Majesty. Whoever he is, he's doin' it wrong."

Emma's tears had stopped and she gave Songbird a watery smile, which had been Songbird's aim. It didn't do any good to look scared. According to Freddy, who had gained his wisdom from Rooster, intimidation was 90% mental. And 10% the ass to back it up. Songbird had that after the years training with the Mackensie's. She tried to think of what Lucky or Freddy or Daryl would do. Lucky would be cool and condescending. Freddy would be cocky and funny, the way he got when lives were threatened. Daryl would be yelling for answers by now, but he'd also be watching for vulnerable points and people. She took a deep breath. Maybe she could combine everything she'd been taught and pull it off. She was trying to figure out the proper Mackensie/Dixon blend when the door opened.

3.

They weren't at the prison. Even though he knew Songbird well enough to know she wouldn't have forgotten the rendezvous point, he'd hoped…Freddy worked hard to avoid losing it. What the hell had happened out there? His venture had been uneventful to the point of boring. No kids, nothing undead. A walk in the damn park. He never should have let them go together. Emma had asked to go with her sister though and he'd wanted to make her feel better. And now she was lost.

If Songbird remembered what he'd told her of Rooster's stories, she would know enough to lie low if there was danger. That could be what it was. Maybe they were penned in somewhere. Maybe they'd found a lead and gone out farther than they were supposed to. He knew that she'd come back when she found the Jeep. He just didn't want to wait.

"You even listenin'?" Daryl demanded.

"Huh? Yeah."

Lori was hysterical, berating them all for coming back without Carl. Freddy guessed he could see where she was coming from, but it wasn't helping matters. No one seemed to be able to calm her down.

"It's because he thought he might get separated from people he cares about!" Lori screamed. "Because you said we were leaving! You never even asked! You just—"

"Shut up Lori!"

The entire room fell silent at Rick's bellow. Even Daryl, the resident shouter, looked shocked.

"Everybody needs to calm down," Dale, who'd insisted on being part of the meeting in spite of his foot, said. "As awful as it is that we can't find the boys, it seems the situation has gotten a little worse. Now, Songbird and her group disappeared south of here. Since that's the only remarkable event of the day, I would suggest that it's most likely that the boys headed south as well."

"It's something to go on," Freddy said.

"Then let's go," Daryl said.

"Not yet," Freddy said, even though he was dying to do just that.

"Why the hell not?"

"Because you can't track in the dark!" Freddy snapped. "And you know as well as I do that we've got a better chance of messing up the trail than of finding it if we go now."

Daryl's jaw went tight. Freddy saw him glance out the window. There was no moon in the black sky. He saw the moment Daryl realized he was right. He'd never seen him look so defeated.

4.

"The Governor I presume?" Songbird asked, arching her eyebrow at the man who'd walked in.

"I am."

The man was smaller than she'd thought he'd be. It didn't make her feel any better. He nodded to two of the other men who'd come in with him. They carried a rope. She felt her muscles tense and she tried not to show it.

"What are you doing?" Brad asked.

The Governor didn't even turn to acknowledge him.

"I hope you don't think I'm going to let them near me with that rope," Songbird said.

"You are," he said with a smile. "Or she dies."

He pointed a handgun at Emma. Brad struggled to his feet.

"All right fine," Songbird said before Brad did anything stupid. The threat had been too casual to be anything but genuine. "We'll do it your way."

The men knelt and tied her feet, leaving her enough leeway to walk. The Governor stepped closer and put his hand under her chin. He tilted her face so that he could look into her eyes.

"You killed one of my men and injured another," he said to Songbird. "You don't fit my mental picture. You look innocent. Young. Helpless even. The crowds will love you."

"Crowds?" the question came from Brad.

Songbird couldn't speak. There was something in his eyes that made it impossible. It was like looking at a snake or a dog you weren't sure of. Or a crazy person.

"What are you going to do to us?" she asked.

"That depends on you," he answered. "The doctor will see you now."

Songbird's knees felt like water. That phrase had been scary two years ago. It was ten times worse in an apocalypse.

"You aren't taking her anywhere," Brad said, stepping toward them.

"Of course I am."

Something the Governor's hand flashed briefly and Songbird felt cold metal settle around her neck. He hooked his finger through the ring and tugged. The choke chain pulled tight.

"How much pain it causes her is up to you."

The chain tightened. Songbird wheezed out a cough and shook her head at Brad. He stopped helplessly. The Governor led her out of the room and down the hall. She glanced around. It looked like a school. She'd never been in one, but she thought it was an elementary school.

They walked into one of the classrooms on the left hand side of the hall and she was surprised to see it set up like a real doctor's office, complete with a man in a white coat and a blonde woman looking over a chart. Nothing showed in either of their eyes at seeing her collared and bound. So this was normal?

"Give her a check up," the Governor said.

"For the ring?" the doctor asked.

"Probably. You know the drill." The man left without saying anything else.

"On the table dear," the doctor said.

"Can't." Songbird pointed down at her bound feet. "And I don't want to. What the hell is going on here? What is wrong with you people? I am wearing a dog collar! This isn't…this isn't…"

The blonde woman, presumably the nurse, stepped forward and maneuvered her to the table. Songbird fought for calm. Lucky wouldn't lose it like this. The doctor and nurse boosted her up onto the table.

The doctor began an examination.

"Any medical history I should know about?" he asked. "Drug interactions, allergies?"

"Yeah. I'm insulin dependent," she said cuttingly. "Really?"

"One gets into the habit," the doctor said. "I know you're afraid but try to calm down."

"Tell me what he's going to do to me."

"Deep breaths."

She obliged.

"Not going to answer me then?"

"Any chance you could be pregnant?"

"Not remotely. Well, I guess there's a _remote_ chance. But it's unlikely."

"So you have a boyfriend?" the nurse asked.

Was that a flash of genuine human emotion in her eyes?

"Daryl." she said. "His name is Daryl."

He was going to be so worried. She hadn't let herself think about him because she was terrified that she couldn't handle it without panicking. She was in danger of it now.

"He's still alive?" the nurse persisted. "He's not with you?"

Songbird didn't answer. The thought that he might not be shocked through her system. Who knew what had happened to him that day? Or to Greg and Carl and Michelangelo. Tears threatened and she took another, deeper breath.

"There's the little bitch!" a man burst through the door and straight toward Songbird.

"Out of the office," the doctor ordered crisply.

The man shoved him to the side. It had taken a second, but she recognized him as the man she'd kicked in the head.

"You kicked me in the fucking face! You—"

She braced her weight on her hands and swung both feet up, catching him in the gut and sending him stumbling backward quickly. By the time he'd regained his balance the Governor was back.

He glanced at her speculatively and then gave her a slow smile.

"You will be entertaining," he said. "You finished?"

"Yes," the doctor said. "She's healthy as a horse. Not that it matters."

"Don't judge me doc."

The Governor hooked his finger through the choke chain and yanked her off the table. She shuffled her feet for balance and followed him out of the room.

"Tell me what you're going to do."

"Was there anyone with you?" he asked.

"No. It's just been us for a while." she lied.

"I guess it doesn't matter. If someone comes for you, I'll make sure they die."

He pushed her back into the room and slammed the door. Songbird sank down onto the floor with her back to the wall. She honestly didn't know whether to hope Daryl would find her or not.

"What did he say?" Emma whispered.

"Nothing really. They mentioned something about a ring. Had the doctor check me over; he looked mostly for open wounds. I guess they wanted to make sure I'm not infected."

Silence fell. It started to rain around midnight. Daryl would be yelling by this point. She wanted to yell too. She wanted to scream for him to come and save her. But if he showed up what would the Governor do to him?

"God please," she whispered softly. "Don't let it end like this."

A/N: So tell me…do the numbers help when I switch POV's?

And also, fair warning, this story is about to get dark and twisted and sick. This is the Governor and if you've read the graphic novels you know what a bastard he is. I want to hold true to the spirit of the novel and the show but put my own twist on it. So when it gets dark just know that (with me) there is always light at the end of the tunnel…and that's all the answer I'm going to give about how it all turns out Governor wise.


	80. Chapter 77

1.

Daryl woke up unable to believe he'd gotten any sleep at all. Not only had he slept, he'd slept pretty deeply. Must have been because of the rain. He always slept better when it was…

"No, no, no. Fuck!"

He hurried down the hall and yanked the fire escape door open. Steady, heavy spring rain poured from the sky.

"Fuck!" he bellowed.

"What's the matter?" Mackensie asked from the doorway.

"What the matter?" Daryl turned on him. "You don't see this? Can't track after dark? How the fuck you expect me to track in the goddamned rain?"

"Look I—"

"You're an idiot and I never should have listened to you!"

"It wouldn't have made a damn bit of difference," Mackensie began. "We can still—"

"Still what?" Daryl grabbed the front of Mackensie's button up and yanked him out into the rain. "What the fuck am I supposed to do now?"

"I don't know!" he yelled back. "Am I supposed to have all the answers?"

Fury chilled Daryl to the very core of his body and dulled his vision. He swung, satisfied when he heard Mackensie's breath go out in a pained whoosh. He managed another solid hit before Mackensie tagged him in the kidney and then swept his legs out from under him.

"Son of a bitch!" Daryl waited until he moved closer and then he kicked him in the knee.

"Shit!" Freddy dropped to the ground.

They eyed each other warily with their backs pressed to opposite railings of the fire escape. Daryl leaned his head back and let the rain pelt against his face.

"You hit harder than I would have thought," Freddy said after a moment or two.

Daryl nodded. He figured Mackensie didn't need any compliments so he stayed quiet.

"We'll find them," Freddy said after a moment.

"Yeah?" Daryl hadn't meant for it to be a question. But for the moment, he really needed Mackensie to have the answer.

"Sure." Freddy stood up and stuck his hand out.

Daryl sighed and let Freddy haul him up.

They didn't bother changing into dry clothes before they headed out. They'd park at the meeting spot and walk to see if there was anything left to track.

2.

Songbird tried to stretch but it wasn't easy all tied up the way she was. The rain was still pouring steadily and she knew all but the smallest traces of their tracks would be washed away. Of course, if anyone could find those traces it would be Daryl Dixon. If he was still alive. If he didn't die looking for her or get killed by the Governor. Once again, she didn't know what to hope for.

"Do you think the kids might be here?" Brad asked in a low voice when he saw that she was awake.

She hadn't thought of that.

"I don't know," she answered. "Maybe. I told him we were alone though. Stick to that please."

Brad nodded and looked at Emma. She'd finally cried herself to sleep in an awkward position against the wall. Songbird's chest tightened. Emma looked so innocent. She _was_ innocent. What if the Governor planned to put her in his ring too? She'd spent the night dreaming, when she could sleep at all, of what that might mean.

The morning was uneventful. The rain finally stopped, but no one came by to see them or untie them. Songbird's fingers were going numb and she really had to pee. She could tell by the way Emma was shifting that she was having the same problem. She was just debating yelling when the door opened and the Governor stepped in.

He gave her a smile and casually hooked his finger through the loop of the choke collar. He tugged upward, but she was ready for it and stood as smoothly as possible, a little ahead of the chain so that the collar stayed loose.

"We're going for a little walk," he said.

"Are you ever going to untie us?" she asked. "It's not like my sister is combat trained. And I have to pee."

He clipped a leash onto the collar and watched her face closely. She did her best not to provide him with a reaction. He chuckled and tugged the leash.

"Heel."

"What about the bathroom? And untying them?" she asked, as she stood firm.

"Fine. Martinez!"

The man came in and the Governor gave terse orders for Brad and Emma to be allowed to use the bathroom and to be tied with their hands in front of them rather than behind. Songbird didn't argue and neither did Brad and Emma.

"Now, heel," he said again with a sharper tug on the leash.

She gritted her teeth but she followed him out of the room. He allowed her to use the bathroom but tied her hands again the minute she was done. Then he led her down the hallways and out into the sunny, waterlogged day. It had been a school. Woodbury Elementary. So she'd been right about that.

"You're not worried about Walkers?" she asked.

"Walkers?" he asked in return.

"Yeah. The undead. Those things that eat people."

"Who calls them Walkers?"

"Me. So…"

"No," he said. "See that?" He gestured with his free hand to a man walking by with a gun. "I've got sort of a border patrol. Nothing gets in unless I want it to."

"How many?"

He didn't fall for it. She hadn't really thought he would. He laughed at her and shook his head.

"You've got balls girl. You're the kind that'll be planning to escape until you die…or break."

She didn't answer that. What would he be planning that would break her? The men and women they passed on the street clearly lived in terror of the man. They all practically bowed as he walked past, not meeting his eyes, but answering him in tones of utmost respect. The women's voices trembled when he spoke to them. Her heart went cold. She knew that look. She stumbled and he turned to look at her. He'd finally gotten the reaction he wanted from her. He yanked her up closer and put his arm around her shoulders.

"Everything you see," he said, "including the people, belongs to me. I've been here for a little more than a year. I'm out here walking you like this so everyone can see that you're my property now. You try to run, they'll bring you back. You've got people coming for you; they'll gun them down where they stand. You try to make alliances and word'll get back to me faster than you can believe. And then I'll make you pay. I can hurt you in ways you've never imagined. Did you know that?"

"You seem like the type." She tried to sound brave, but she knew she was pale as a ghost. Her head was swimming and she felt like she might faint from sheer terror. If he hadn't been holding her up she might have already been on the ground. Of course, she'd rather be on the ground than anywhere near him.

"I like you," he said unexpectedly. "Most women are crying by this point. Or begging or offering something silly. You seem to have the situation in hand."

"Begging for what?" she asked.

"Not to go into the ring mostly," he answered with a shrug. "But I have to keep the crowds entertained. You'd be surprised how much work it is to keep a town busy."

"Can I see the ring?" she asked.

"Why not?" he replied after a moment. "If I walk you down there people will see that I've got a new fighter. They can get a look at how young you are, how innocent you look…yeah. That's a good idea."

They walked on along the streets until they came to what had been the high school football field. It had been roughly fenced in with chain link and barbed wire. There were about ten Walkers chained to posts inside it.

"So what?" she asked. "You just toss a person in and watch them get eaten?"

"No," the Governor answered as if that was insane. "Two people. And only one person comes out alive."

"You make people fight each other while Walkers watch? I'm missing the point."

He sighed and said, "I have the zombies unchained. The fighters have to kill them while avoiding being killed by the other person."

"You just take whoever you want in the ring?"

"I have in the past. Lately it's been people who're trying to get others to leave my happy little town, or people who've pissed me off some other way. But they aren't the best fighters which is why I'm happy to have you."

"How do you make them do it?" She forced the words out. "Make them kill innocent people?"

"It's simple," he answered with a smile. "I hold something they want. Like your pretty sister and your father. As long as you fight, they live."

How simple. She watched the field until the Governor turned her away from it.

"What about my knives?" Songbird asked as they walked back to the school.

"You only get your weapons if you survive the first round."

"That doesn't make any sense. How am I going to survive ten Walkers and another person without them?"

"Look on the bright side," he said. "The other person won't have weapons either. And you should feel honored; you were requested."

"By who?"

"You wouldn't know his name, but you've knocked out several of his teeth."

"Oh."

Well fuck.

3.

They'd headed south, following Dale's plan. Daryl didn't have much luck with finding the tracks. Freddy could practically feel the anxiety thrumming off of Daryl. This must have been what he was like when the bridge had blown up. Freddy wasn't feeling cheerful himself. He trusted Songbird, or rather the training he'd put into her, but there was so much that could go wrong. He kept thinking of the mall and of what Daryl had told him of the fuel depot.

He also kept thinking of Emma. She'd been so worried about her brother, so determined to be useful. There was no way in hell he was going to admit it to Daryl, but for the first time he understood what it was like to want to keep someone locked up tight so you knew they were safe. If he had it to do over again he'd have made sure Emma was out of harm's way…even if he had to hurt her feelings to do it.

"Hey," Daryl said. "You payin' me any attention?"

No. He hadn't noticed that Daryl had stopped.

"What is it?"

Daryl didn't answer; he just veered off slightly to the west and kept his eyes on the ground. Freddy followed carefully. Daryl whistled long and low after about fifteen minutes. Freddy saw disappointment in his eyes when nothing happened. Then several minutes after the whistle, they heard a rustle in the brush and a huge, muddy dog bolted toward them.

Freddy's heart nearly jumped out of his chest. The dog by passed him and leapt for Daryl who threw his arms around it when it stood on its hind legs to lick his face. Michelangelo. Mud covered and soaking wet, but whole and healthy.

"Hey boy," Daryl said in relief as he rubbed the dog's head and ears. "Where you been hidin'?"

Michelangelo backed off slightly and looked down into a gully. Then he walked two steps back and looked into the gully again.

"Is Timmy in the well?" Freddy asked.

The dog gave him a long, unamused look.

"Sorry," Freddy muttered.

"You got Songbird?" Daryl asked.

Michelangelo tilted his head and worry lines furrowed his brow as if he was asking, "You _don't_ have Songbird?"

"Carl?"

The dog wagged his tail a little, though he still looked worried, and then trotted back the way he'd come. Freddy and Daryl followed. The sides of the gully were steep and Freddy went still after a few minutes.

"Hear that?"

"Yeah."

Daryl raised his voice a bit and called, "Carl?" down into the ravine.

"Yeah, he's here," Greg's voice answered. "But he's hurt and I don't know what to do!"

The kid sounded panicked.

"How long have you been down there?" Freddy called.

"Since last night. Are you gonna come get us?"

Freddy looked at Daryl.

"She ain't down there," Daryl said, so Freddy wouldn't.

"Doesn't look like it."

"Well, let's deal with the kids," Daryl said roughly.

It took some maneuvering, but they managed. Carl woke up briefly when Daryl got down into the gully, but he passed out again when he had to move him. His leg stuck out at an odd angle.

"Another one for Herschel," Daryl said with a shake of his head. "How about you, kid? You all right?"

"Yeah." Greg nodded bravely and Daryl didn't comment on the fact that he'd been crying. "Is my dad mad at me?"

Oh fuck. Daryl didn't answer for a long while. Greg's gaze never wavered.

"Your dad…went out lookin' for you," he finally said. "With Emma and Songbird. We can't find them either. We'd hoped they was with you."

"They're gone?" Greg asked.

"We're gonna find 'em."

The kid didn't speak again. It nearly killed Daryl to leave without finding even a trace of Songbird, but he didn't have a choice. They laid Carl carefully in the back of Daryl's truck when they got back to it and headed back to the prison with heavy hearts.


	81. Chapter 78

1.

"So you wanna tell me what the hell you was thinkin'?" Daryl demanded once they'd handed Carl over to his worried parents and Herschel.

Greg twisted his shirt and fought to keep from crying. Daryl only crossed his arms and stared the kid down. He figured that with Songbird, Brad, and Emma out of the picture, he was the closest thing left to family for Greg. And wasn't that shitty for them both.

"I…Carl wanted to find out who'd been at the depot. He wanted to—"

"To what?" Daryl burst out. "Fuckin' talk 'em to death? And you! Why'd you go? You can't even shoot good—"

"I was going to…" Greg's voice trailed off and he mumbled the last word.

"Gonna what?" Daryl demanded.

"Track. Like you." A tear escaped and dripped off Greg's chin.

"Motherfucker."

Daryl didn't know what to say to that. Part of him was a little flattered, but that didn't mean he was gonna let the kid off easy.

"And what about Michelangelo?" he asked. "You know how Songbird feels about that dog."

"I thought…" Greg said, wiping his nose on his sleeve, a kid habit that had always thoroughly grossed Daryl out. "You know, that he'd help protect us."

"So it was your idea?" Daryl was surprised. It had taken Greg a really long time to get used to the dog and he hadn't assumed the kid was so used to him that he'd take him on a trip.

"Yeah."

"That was the only damn good decision you made," Daryl said.

"Am I in trouble?" Greg sniffled again.

"Hell fuckin' yeah you're in trouble you little snot! But…uh, I don't know what the hell to do to you."

"You're going to find Dad and my sisters right?" Greg asked, studying his sneakers.

"Yes," Daryl replied firmly.

"Are you sure?"

"Listen to me. I ain't about to lose Songbird again. I'll find 'em if it fuckin' kills me."

Greg suddenly lost the battle to act like a man and began to cry the deep heart wrenching sobs of a terrified little kid.

"Hey," Daryl moderated his tone. "Listen, kid, don't…uh, don't."

Greg stepped closer and leaned against Daryl. It was weird. But, technically, the kid was his brother in law. He supposed it was all right to give him a small hug. Brothers probably did that. Not that he'd ever been real touchy feely with Merle…he patted Greg's shoulder awkwardly and stepped back.

"Can I help you look?" Greg asked.

"No. I'm gonna find somebody to keep an eye on you though. Rick and Lori got their hands full…" he mused. "Anyhow, I need to know that I can trust you to stay where I fuckin' tell you to from now on," Daryl said firmly. "I got enough shit on my mind."

Greg promised so Daryl headed back to his own room to get his stuff together.

"So where are you going next?" Glenn asked from the doorway.

"I don't know," Daryl answered. "The damn rain…I guess further south. Maybe I can find somethin'. I don't know."

"I want to help."

"No."

"What? This is our thing! We go and bring back things that need bringing back." Glenn looked determined.

"How's Maggie?" Daryl asked.

"Good. Where are you going with this?"

"Don't bullshit me. Ya'll was plannin' on havin' a kid. Where you at on that?"

Glenn didn't answer. Daryl sighed. He thought there'd been something off lately.

"If it's got somethin' to do with what I found out there, or what we all saw at the mall, then I don't want you anywhere near it. I don't come back it ain't gonna make a damn bit of difference to anybody. I come back without you and Maggie'd fuckin' kill me. It's lose/lose for me, Chinaman."

Glenn half chuckled and shook his head.

"You're sure?" he asked just before he turned to walk away.

"Fuck yeah. There is one thing you can do for me though. Mind keepin' an eye on the kid? Be good practice for you."

"Greg? Yeah sure. And Daryl? You're wrong about one thing," Glenn said as he turned to go talk to Maggie. "We'll all care if you don't come back."

"Yeah? Well…" Daryl didn't know what to say for a minute. "Least I'll be takin' Mackensie out with me," he finished.

2.

Songbird hadn't been allowed to go back to the room Brad and Emma were in. The Governor had pushed her into another empty classroom and locked the door. He'd left her hands tied.

She closed her eyes tightly. "When I open my eyes I'll be in bed with Daryl. This is just a dream. There is no way this can be real."

She opened her eyes. She was still standing in the classroom. Damn it.

That wasn't what she needed to be focused on anyway. She thought back to the man who'd come busting into her "doctor's appointment." He'd been a pretty big guy, but also pretty slow. So she had an advantage there. If she didn't get eaten by one of the ten Walkers inside the fence she might be able to put the guy down.

But honestly…how was she going to kill him without some kind of weapon? Freddy had taught her how, but she couldn't imagine what it would feel like to actually feel someone's neck snap in her hands or gouge someone's eyes out with her thumbs to give herself time to crush their windpipe. She felt sick just thinking about it. It was bad enough killing the Walkers up close and personal. She'd never killed a live human. She wasn't sure she could.

Of course, if she didn't fight she wasn't exactly sure what the Governor would do to Emma and Brad. And what if she died? Her heart began pounding as she thought about it. She didn't want to die. It wasn't like that was an original thought pretty much nobody did…but she'd planned this whole life thing out now that she knew for sure she was spending it with Daryl. They were supposed to go back to the compound and start a family. And maybe have a house of their own when this whole thing was over and Daryl would hunt and she would cook and life would be perfect. Well…probably not perfect but better than cage fighting.

She sniffled and took a deep breath. He'd never even know she was dead. And if he went back to the compound maybe he'd end up with Vicky. Oddly enough, that was what she needed to bolster her resolve. No way in hell was Daryl ending up with Vicky. She set her jaw and straightened her back. She'd give the Governor his fight and then she'd find a way out of this sick, twisted place. She'd have her good life and her Daryl too.

The door opened. The Governor had perfect timing.

"Are you going to make Brad and Emma watch?" she asked.

"Of course," he said as if it should have been obvious. "They'll have front row seats. Your father's already offered three times to go in for you."

"They're both shitty fighters," Songbird said casually, in the hopes that he wouldn't ever decide to take Brad up on his offer.

The Governor laughed and led her out of the room.

"I hope you make it through tonight," he said. "You're so different from the others."

"I thought that guy was one of your main lackeys. No loyalty from the Governor's office?"

"Ethan's starting to get on my nerves. And he got beat up by a seventeen year old."

"I'm nineteen. What did he do?"

"What hasn't the idiot done? Good luck in the ring."

He cut the rope binding her wrists and shoved her inside the fence. Someone had cut the Walkers free but they were distracted by the crowds outside the wire. The angry guy, apparently named Ethan, walked in after her, throwing his arms up and yelling. He had supporters; an answering bellow came from the left section.

She wanted to see Emma and Brad, but she couldn't focus. Faces outside the wire blurred and she turned away, blinking several times. She needed to find a weapon. There didn't seem to be any. There was barbed wire, but she'd never be able to get it loose. There were the poles the Walkers were tied to, but they were probably too sturdy. She was wearing jeans, a tee shirt, and her boots. He'd even taken the elastic holding her hair back. She had nothing.

Suddenly the crowd went still and Ethan yelled again. The Walkers turned their way. She froze.

3.

"Want me to come help?"

Hell, now it was Rick.

"No," Daryl said flatly. "Your kid even awake yet?"

"Yes," Rick said stiffly. "He woke up about an hour ago actually. You can't just go off into the wild blue by yourself—"

"I ain't. Takin' Mackensie."

"And what about the compound then?"

"Here," Freddy said from behind Rick. "I drew you a map. Do not lose it."

"A map," Rick repeated. "What—"

"My sister would have wanted you to live," Freddy said simply.

"And we might not make it back," Daryl added. "You don't really need to wait around."

"We're not going to leave without you," Rick said firmly.

"You might not have a choice," Daryl countered. "It ain't safe here no more and we all know it. You got a family to take care of. And…I'm askin' you and the rest to make sure Greg makes it okay."

Rick nodded and opened his mouth, but before he could argue to join them again, Shane came down the hall with his rifle on his shoulder and a determined look on his face.

"The fuck you think you're doin'?" Daryl asked.

"Going with you. Got a problem with having an extra gun?"

"No," Freddy answered. "Let's go."

"Yeah, but—" Daryl began.

"Better him than us right?" Freddy asked under his breath.

Daryl shrugged. The guy had a point.

4.

Songbird dodged an emaciated Walker in the tattered remains of a police uniform. The holes in the cloth were so big that she could see the bones of its ribcage. A fist tightened in her hair and she bit her tongue to keep from crying out. She was dragged back against the one other living person in the ring and she coughed when his fist made contact with her stomach. She head butted him in the gut as she bent to catch her breath and then swept his legs out from under him.

She bolted before he even hit the dirt. She'd seen it a moment ago…ah-ha! She skidded to a stop at the broken pole. It was old and rusty and it must have been part of the original fence. She pulled with all her might. Nothing. Another Walker shuffled her way. Fear leant some strength, but not nearly enough.

"God, oh God, please," she begged in a low voice as she yanked again.

Still nothing. Now Ethan was up. He'd ripped the heads clean off of the two Walkers that had surrounded him, but she saw him staring down at the long scratches on his stomach and chest. He was as good as dead. Of course, so was she if she couldn't get the pole out of the ground.

In desperation she kicked it. It moved a little. She kicked in the opposite direction. Finally! She was forced to direct the next kick at the Walker, sending it back to buy more time.

Ethan looked up and she saw the fear in his eyes turn to pure rage. Songbird kicked the pole harder and then, when he started running full out for her, she bent down and prayed as she yanked.

Ethan reached out; she felt his arms tighten painfully around her as he pulled her against him.

"You killed me," he whispered harshly.

"Not yet," she answered.

She switched her grip on the pole he'd helped her uproot and thrust it backward. She felt his skin split around the rusty metal as his blood slicked her hands. He lurched forward and she pulled out of his tightened grip to let him fall.

His hands grasped the pole but he couldn't pull it out. His eyes were shocked. The crowd was silent. The remaining four Walkers headed for the fallen man hungrily. Songbird wrenched the pole from the man's gut and finished them off quickly.

She dropped the pole when it was done and then sank to her knees. The guy had bled out while she finished the Walkers. He'd be coming back soon but she couldn't bring herself to move or raise the pole again.

The film that had seemed to cover her eyes vanished finally. The man's blood was too bright; the Walkers blood was flat obsidian. Blackness that should have covered up everything only enhanced the vivid pain she felt.

She heard something from the edges of the sobs ringing through her mind. She glanced up. The Governor was clapping. Emma was sitting beside him with her hands over her mouth. Brad looked sick. Disgusted with her? How could they not be?

The gates opened and two of his men came in. They hauled her to her feet and bound her wrists again. She didn't bother to struggle.

The Governor met her at the gates. She felt him tilt her chin as he forced her to look at him.

"I knew you had potential," he said with a smile. "Take her and let her clean up. I'll come see you later."

"You're going to make me fight again?" she asked dully.

"Oh no," he said with another smile. "Far from it."

She'd thought she'd used up all her fear in the ring. She'd been wrong.


	82. Chapter 79

Authors Note: Just a warning on this chapter: there is nothing graphic, but there is brief mention of sexual assault. But, it's not graphic at all because I don't think things like that need detail to be awful.

1.

"So we head south?" Shane asked after they'd muscled the gates open and then closed again.

"Yeah."

They were walking. It wasn't safer, but it wasted less gas. Daryl looked out over the distance and tried not to think ahead too far. No sense in making it complicated. Walk south till he found her trail. Follow the trail. Find Songbird. Go home. Simple. In theory.

2.

Songbird had been allowed to take a shower but she didn't feel any cleaner. The Governor had taken a seat in the teachers chair behind the desk and pulled Songbird to her knees in front of him by her choke collar.

His fingers ran through her hair gently as he complimented her on the fight. Shivers that she couldn't fully suppress trembled up her spine at his gentle hands and soft voice. She couldn't remember any of the strategy she'd learned from Daryl or the Mackensie's in this state. He scared her. He scared her more than Walkers, more than anything that had happened so far.

"You're shaking," he said and she didn't mistake the pleasure in his voice. "How old did you say you were?"

"Nineteen."

"The nurse said you had a boyfriend. Daniel?"

"Daryl," she corrected.

"Your age?"

"Not quite."

"Older or younger?"

"Why do you care?" she asked unevenly.

"Just thought you might want to chat a little," he said lightly. "Get relaxed, you know?"

"Talking about a person I might never see again isn't relaxing," she said.

"Might never," he repeated with a chuckle. "See, that's what I like about you. You're an optimist. It's an endearing trait. Did he like it?"

"He likes me. Everything about me."

"What do you and your little boyfriend do?" The Governor's hand tightened in her hair. "You look innocent. Are you?"

"How innocent can a killer look?" Songbird asked in order to evade the question.

"You're not a killer. At least you weren't born to be one. Someone taught you to be this way." His look turned calculating. "Was it him?"

"No. I taught myself."

"Self made?" he laughed. "Just like me."

"Nothing like you."

"You don't even know me. Not yet at least. We'll change that."

He turned her around so that she knelt between his legs. She wasn't aware that she was leaning away until the collar choked off her air. The sound of his zipper was loud, even over the roar of her pulse in her ears.

Her lips parted but words didn't form.

"See? A natural."

It couldn't be happening. The weight of his hand on the back of her neck didn't feel real. She repeated the phrase in her mind. It couldn't be happening. Not to her. It wasn't real.

After an interminable length of time Songbird gagged and then coughed. Her best efforts to move back were hindered. His grip was strong even now. When he finally allowed her to lift her head he barely gave her time to compose herself before he stood and yanked her to her feet.

"Since you've been such a good girl, I think I'll let you have some family time," he said with a grin.

Her stomach churned as he dragged her after him. Not to her. It couldn't have happened to her. Her feet dragged and she stumbled as she tried not to cry.

"I know," he said. "You're not anxious to leave me." He stopped outside the door of the room that held Brad and Emma. "But don't worry. I'll be back first thing in the morning."

He nodded to the guard to open the door and then he pushed Songbird through it.

3.

"This is as far as we got before," Daryl said breaking an hours long silence.

"So that's where you found the kids?" Shane asked with a nod to the woods.

"Yeah. Can't figure out why the hell they did something that stupid."

"They want to be heroes," Freddy said. "And for some reason, Greg wants to be like you," he added with a glance Daryl's way.

Daryl snorted and said, "Better'n lookin' up to a jackass like you."

"Less responsibility for me though," Freddy said with a half grin.

"So where are we stoppin' for the night?" Shane asked.

"Further on," Daryl answered. "Ain't stoppin' till I can't see my hand in front of my face."

"You really think we're gonna find anything?" Shane asked when Daryl was ahead of them.

"If you didn't why'd you tag along?" Freddy asked in irritation.

"Didn't say I didn't," Shane answered. "Just asked for your opinion on the matter."

"Then yeah," Freddy said. "I think we'll find _something_. I just don't know what yet."

"The Songbird ain't dumb enough to get herself eaten," Shane said.

"This was her first time taking care of a group of people," Freddy pointed out. "It might have rattled her."

"Who're you more worked up over losing?" Shane asked idly.

"How's that concern you?"

"Making conversation. For me it's Songbird."

"Why?"

"She's my running buddy," Shane said. "And she's really the only person it'd hurt us to lose."

"Emma's a nurse," Freddy said stiffly.

"No she ain't. She's just Herschel's assistant. But I guess you answered my question."

"Are you trying to piss me off?"

Freddy's hands had tightened on the bow over his chest.

"No," Shane said. "Not really."

"Ya'll with me or what?" Daryl called back over his shoulder. "What the fuck you doin' back there?"

Freddy and Shane picked up the pace.

4.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" Emma asked the minute the door closed behind Songbird.

Songbird pressed her hand to her mouth and looked around the room in panic. There was a trashcan near the desk. She managed to reach it before she vomited. Bile burned like acid up her esophagus and, as she choked on a sob, it burned her nose as well.

When it was over she wiped her nose on her sleeve and grimaced. Daryl hated stuff like that. Of course he'd hate what she'd just done worse. She gagged again but there was nothing left to come up. She remained where she was, on her knees in front of the trashcan, sobs racking her body, her head bowed in defeat.

She jerked in surprise when she felt a hand on her forehead, supporting her as she continued to dry heave. She had no choice but to lean into the support. When it was finally over she allowed Brad to pull her back against him. For the first time in her life she felt comforted by her father. She sobbed as he stroked her sweaty hair back from her face. She felt Emma rubbing her back as well.

"Songbird, you were so brave," Emma whispered. "I couldn't believe it."

"I know it doesn't mean much," Brad said softly. "But I'm so proud of you."

She didn't speak, but her tears gradually stopped and she allowed herself to relax against Brad's shoulder and fall asleep.

5.

Daryl, Freddy and Shane set up camp when darkness fell. Daryl leaned back against a tree and sighed as he pulled some jerky from his pocket. He chewed meditatively and tossed a piece to the ground for Michelangelo. The dog ate slowly, looking depressed. Daryl felt the same way.

They hadn't seen any signs that Songbird and the others had traveled this way and he honestly didn't know if that was because of the rain or because she'd gone off course. He had to go on the assumption that she had stayed south.

"What ya'll think?" he asked abruptly.

"About what?" Freddy asked.

"The fact that we got no damn proof at all that she went this way," Daryl explained.

"Could be the rain," Shane pointed out. "Any reason to think she didn't?"

"No. You know Songbird. She's not an idiot," Daryl said.

"We have to keep going this way until we either find her or we know for sure that she did something else," Freddy said. "I say we walk south for a day and see what we can find. She wouldn't have walked more than a day in the opposite direction from home."

"Guess so." Daryl took another bite of jerky and said, "How 'bout you take first watch Mackensie? I'll take the second."

"Sure," Freddy said. "Why not?"

Daryl lay flat on his back and looked up at the canopy of trees over his head. He was keyed up but he knew he needed sleep. He thought of praying and then realized he already was.

"God please. Tomorrow okay? Just let me find her tomorrow."

6.

Songbird woke up with a sore throat and a stiff neck. She was surprised to find Brad and Emma already awake and moving around. They'd made her a pillow with their jackets and by the look of the sun through the windows it was almost noon. She hadn't slept so late in years.

"They brought us some food," Emma said when Songbird sat up and rubbed her face. "We didn't want to wake you up so we left yours on the desk."

"Thanks."

She forced herself to walk over and eat. The meal wasn't any better than what they'd been living off in the prison, but it wasn't much worse either. The pancakes tasted flat. They must have been running out of baking soda. She occupied her mind with small details rather than think about yesterday. She needed to be able to keep her food down.

She'd just washed the last pancake down with a sip of water when she heard screams from down the hall. Emma gasped and Brad moved to the door to try to see into the hallway. Songbird felt frozen. The screams sounded young.

"She's just a child," Brad said a moment later.

Emma pressed her hand to her mouth. Songbird realized she was shaking again. A door opened and then slammed closed. They immediately heard angry banging on the closed door as the yelling continued. Songbird finally began to hear words out of the shrieks.

"I want my mom! Let me go! Mom! Mom!"

Emma's hands moved from her mouth to her ears as tears began to streak down her cheeks. Brad left the door and walked over to comfort her. Songbird walked over and looked out. She couldn't see the kid but she could see the mother. The Governor held her by the arm just outside the door. The woman's head was bowed and her shoulders were shaking. Her wrists were taped together and when her head lifted slightly in response to one of the girl's more piercing screams Songbird saw that her mouth was taped shut too. At least that explained why she wasn't answering her daughter.

The Governor didn't let the woman leave until her daughter had screamed herself hoarse. When the child's broken sobs could be heard plainly he gave the woman a pat on the back and let the guards take the woman to a different room far down the hall.

Songbird banged her fist on the glass to get his attention and he opened the door.

"Miss me?" he asked.

"What's going on?" she asked as she inclined her head to the room next to them.

He clipped the leash to the collar around her neck and said, "Come for your walk and I'll tell you all about it."

Once they were outside he sighed heavily and said, "Some people just aren't ever satisfied. Look around you Songbird. Don't you think I'm doing a good job keeping this town functioning?"

"I wouldn't know," she answered. "I've only seen the school and the ring."

"But you're well fed. Your family is alive. I take you for daily walks. Isn't that what benevolent leaders do?"

She knew the answer he wanted and her throat burned at the thought of saying it. She settled for a noncommittal shrug. He accepted it as good enough.

"The woman you saw," he went on. "Apparently felt like her daughter wasn't getting enough to eat. She was caught stealing food."

"How much do you feed these people?" Songbird asked.

"I can't let her get away with something like that," he said, ignoring her question. "And if I don't make an example of her then others will think that they can do the same. Don't you agree?"

"What are you going to do?" she asked. If he could ignore her questions she'd do the same to him.

"Put her in the ring," he answered as if it were obvious.

"It'll be a slaughter," Songbird said. "She doesn't look like the type that could defend herself against anything let alone—"

"You?" he cut in.

"What?" Maybe she was stupid, but she hadn't expected that.

"You," he repeated. "Who else? I don't know if you've noticed, but people here are terrified of you since that fight last night. Look around."

She did. People wouldn't even meet her gaze. They avoided her eyes the same way they avoided his.

"Why?" she asked. "Why are they afraid of me? They have to know that you made me…"

"I make people go into the ring," he cut in with a smile. "I have no control over their skills once they're inside. They know that if you stay alive you'll likely be one of the people helping to keep them in line. Once I'm done with you that is."

There wasn't a response to that. She knew that she'd never break to be the kind of person he wanted her to be, but she was beginning to doubt that she'd never break. Maybe she could just go crazy and let the Walkers eat her at the fight tonight. But then what would he do to Brad and Emma?

She thought about the desperate screams of the poor kid in the room next door. How the hell could she kill that kid's mother? She couldn't. It wasn't even a question. But if she didn't, was she killing her own sister and father?

She was back to square one. God, what was she going to do?


	83. Chapter 80

1.

Daryl stopped and sighed. Nearly a day gone and no sign. Michelangelo hadn't given any hint that he'd scented anything. To make matters worse, the longer they walked the more sure he was that this wasn't right. He was actually feeling sick the further south they moved.

"You okay?" Freddy asked when Daryl stopped for the millionth time since they set out that morning.

"No," Daryl said flatly. "This ain't right."

"This is the way she was supposed to go," Shane said.

"I fuckin' know that!" Daryl snarled. "But…okay I know this sounds fucked up…but this feels wrong."

"You can't go by how it feels," Freddy said. "You're worried and—"

"Shit," Daryl cut in. "I ain't _worried_. I am fuckin' losin' it. But that ain't the point. I know this ain't right and I ain't gonna go another step further. I got an idea."

"Oh yeah?" Shane asked. "And what's that?"

"I been thinkin' about the kids," Daryl said. "Songbird and the rest was headed south which means that they woulda passed those woods at an angle away from where Greg and Carl were right? But they mighta heard 'em anyway. She mighta gone a little bit off course when she did and—"

"And we have no way to know where she went off course," Freddy interrupted. "Hell, it could have been anywhere!"

"Look you ain't gotta go with me," Daryl said. "If you wanna, you and Walsh can keep goin' this way till you fuckin' die of starvation, but I'm done with it."

"Yeah because splitting up has really served us well in the past," Freddy drawled. "Use your head."

Michelangelo gave him a long look and Freddy said, "Don't you start too."

The dog turned and scented the wind, then stiffened. Daryl was reaching for the crossbow when the first Walker burst through the trees. Freddy shot it and Daryl stepped back so it could fall.

There was enough of a lull to raise all their hopes. Then they realized that had only been the first of a hoard. Shane raised the shotgun and blew back the next two as Daryl cocked the crossbow and Freddy dropped the one closest to him.

"Stay close," Daryl ordered Michelangelo as he raised the crossbow and shot yet another Walker. "Songbird would kill me if somethin' happened to you."

Michelangelo's look said "Right back at you buddy." But he did as Daryl ordered and waited to pull the Walkers down until they were in the immediate vicinity.

The deafening boom of the shotgun was silenced as Shane ran out of bullets and resorted to smashing skulls instead. Daryl and Freddy had to switch to closer range weapons as well; Daryl had his fire axe and Freddy had a machete like the ones he'd given Songbird.

Daryl's arm was killing him; cutting through what used to be human never got easier. He was more focused on the left side, where the bulk of the hoard had come from. It seemed to be thinning out. Holy fuck; were they winning?

Something slammed into his right side; he wasn't braced and he went down. The Walker hadn't been that big but it was pretty strong. And Daryl had dropped the axe. It snarled in anticipation and clawed clumsily for his throat.

"A little help?" Daryl bit out as he forced it backward.

Freddy swung his machete, but not fast enough. Daryl felt the Walker's teeth sink into the arm he'd brought up to protect his neck.

2.

Songbird hadn't been allowed to talk to her family when her walk was over. She listened carefully to the kid down the hall. She was yelling again. Everything else was quiet. Everything but Songbird's conscience.

Kill some poor kid's mom or kill herself and her own family? Even if she didn't kill the kid's mom it wasn't like she was saving her life. She was just winning her a reprieve until the next time the Governor put her in the ring. Songbird felt a brief surge of hope and then swift disgust. Maybe she was starting to think like him. No, that was crazy. She just didn't want to die.

Songbird stood up and walked over to the door. There were still two guards outside it. She hadn't really expected to find anything different. There were guards at the window too, but she'd noticed that they only showed up when she was there. So maybe he didn't have as many soldiers as he'd tried to make it look. But what good did that do her?

She kicked the door as hard as she could and her eyebrows went up when it hairline fractured. Not all the way through…but with a few more-the door was wrenched open and the guards stepped in. One of them grabbed her arms and swept her legs out from under her. Then he let go and she fell hard to the floor.

She gritted her teeth to hold in an exclamation of pain and said, "I want to see the Governor."

"Shut the fuck up."

The door closed. After a long moment Songbird got to her feet. Gritting her teeth again, she kicked the door. She managed two kicks, the last leaving a hole in the inside of the door, before the guards came back. This time she swung for them as well.

"I want to see the Governor!" she screamed as loudly as she could. She planned to take advantage of the fact that the door was still open. "I want to see the Governor NOW!"

One guard was on the floor and the second had his hand around her throat when the Governor stepped into the doorway. Songbird jammed her knee into the guard's crotch and, when he doubled over, she brought her bound hands down on the back of his neck. As he slid to the floor she stepped over his limp form and approached the Governor.

"I'd like to see my family before the fight," she said as primly as she could while catching her breath.

He looked at her as if he wasn't sure whether to smile or hit her. She kept her chin up even though she could feel her heart pounding in her throat. He reached out and dragged her closer by the choke collar. Songbird forced herself to stay still, to look compliant, even though she hated being so near him. He traced his thumb over her lower lip and she closed her eyes so she wouldn't cry.

"Why aren't you trying to take me out?" he asked in a low voice as his hand crept around to the back of her neck.

She took a deep breath to steady her voice before she answered, "What would be the point? It's not likely that I'd manage to kill you and then you'd just hurt me."

"Good girl," the Governor answered. "I was hoping you'd be this easily trained." He put his hand under her chin and tilted it so that she was forced to look at him.

He looked like he was considering her request. She tried to look neutral since she knew she couldn't manage pleasant. Daryl had done all of the things the Governor had done. When his hand rested on the back of her neck she felt like she was safe, like she belonged to him. When he tilted her chin so that she met his eyes she'd seen humor sparkling there or desire. Now she felt frozen and it was like meeting the cold eyes of a reptile. Thinking of Daryl had been a mistake. She felt tears fill her eyes.

The Governor's eyebrows went up and a small smile curved his mouth. Maybe the tears weren't a mistake after all. Songbird knew how young and helpless she looked when she cried.

"All right," he said finally. "Martinez. Take her up the hall."

Martinez was even rougher with her collar than the Governor tended to be, but he eased up when the Governor gave him a frown. He yanked her up to the door of the room where Brad and Emma were kept.

"Can I trust you to be a good girl or do I have to assign more guards?" he asked.

Songbird didn't make any promises; she just wiped her eyes on her sleeve and tried to look as young as possible. Martinez smirked down at her and shut the door. She heard him call to double to guard. Oh well. It didn't matter much anyway.

"Em, can you braid my hair?" Songbird asked.

When her sister and Brad stepped up Songbird said, "I have to talk to you about something serious."

"Go ahead," Brad said as Emma began to finger-comb Songbird's long hair.

"He wants to put me in the ring with that woman tonight," Songbird said bluntly. "He says that I fight or…or you guys get hurt. I don't know what to do."

Emma's fingers stumbled over the braid and Brad stared at Songbird uncomprehendingly for a second or two.

"You can't kill that poor woman," Emma said. "We've been hearing her daughter screaming for her all day."

"So I should lose you?" Songbird asked desperately. "God Emma, you're only 16! And what about Greg?"

She took another deep breath. Crying wouldn't help. Neither would reminding everyone of their own mortality.

"We have to figure out a way for you to leave while I'm in the ring. There has to be a way," she continued when Brad shook his head. "Emma, you've been training with Freddy right? And Brad you—"

"Martinez and the others escort us to your fights with guns to our heads," Brad said. "It's impossible."

Songbird rubbed her hands over her face and tried to think.

"Maybe Freddy and—" Emma began.

"No." Songbird couldn't let her say Daryl's name. Not while she was trying to think. Not when she was trying to reconcile herself to losing everything. "We can't count on them knowing how to find us. We were sort of off course because we thought we heard something in the woods. If they're looking, they're looking south."

A depressed silence surrounded them. The girl in the next room began to cry again. Songbird started to shake.

"He isn't going to let us live," Emma said suddenly. "Not for long anyway. He's…he's crazy. He _plays_ with people. He's playing with you. He likes that he can force you to do things because he's got us."

"So what do you suggest?" Songbird asked hopelessly.

"Don't do it," Emma said. "And let whatever is going to happen…happen."

3.

Daryl watched Michelangelo take down the last Walker before he sat up. Freddy and Shane were staring down at him closely. Michelangelo walked over and snuffled all over Daryl's arm worriedly.

"That shit really works huh?" Daryl said as he examined the unbroken sleeve of the riot gear.

Shane yanked Daryl to his feet and said, "Let's go, you lucky bastard."

They headed away at an angle. Daryl finally felt like they were going in the right direction. Hope returned despite his exhaustion. He was going to find her. He was sure of it.

4.

There hadn't been much to say after Emma's suggestion. Songbird could see Brad struggling with his ethics and any good parent's desire to protect his child, but he didn't say anything. Emma was sitting on the floor with her arms around her knees; she wasn't speaking either. Songbird used the silence to think about Daryl. She replayed the way they'd met in her mind. She thought about the way he'd stood there staring down at her suspiciously, searching her for signs of the infection. Maybe it wasn't some people's idea of a happy meeting but it made her feel good inside. She fast forwarded through the days of wanting him until the day he'd kissed her outside his truck. She remembered the possessive way he'd held her at night when they shared a bed, the way he'd forgiven her for what happened with Freddy, the way he'd finally been ready to talk about them having a family of their own. A family she'd never have because she was going to get eaten by a Walker tonight. When the girl in the next room began crying again Songbird joined her. They were quiet tears but one of them must have caught the light just the right way because after a few minutes Emma scooted over and put her arm around her.

"Songbird…do you pray?" she asked.

"Sometimes. I guess I haven't lately."

"Will you…with me?"

Emma sounded shy, as if she was afraid Songbird would make fun of her. Instead she reached out and took her sister's hands in hers. When Songbird couldn't manage to speak Emma began instead.

"God I want to beg you to keep us all safe and make everything have a happy ending," she said softly. "But I know it doesn't always work out that way. Songbird's trying really hard to protect us all. Please don't let her suffer for it. Amen."

After a moment, Songbird added, "Assist us, O Lord our God;

and defend us evermore by the might of Thy holy Cross,

in whose honor Thou makest us to rejoice.

Through Christ our Lord.

Amen."

"I was going to marry Freddy you know," Emma said after another stretch of silence.

"He asked you?" Songbird questioned in surprise.

"No. But I was still going to."

Songbird smiled a little bit and rested her chin on her sister's head.

"He really likes you Emma. He was all incoherent about it when I asked him."

"You asked him?"

"Yeah."

"Songbird!" Emma looked miffed but after a second she said, "What did he say?"

"He said it was weird talking to me about you. Then he said he really liked you and he hoped that you wouldn't get tired of him before you were legal. Then he blushed and said not that you guys were doing anything now and…blah, blah, blah…you know Freddy."

"Yeah."

"Dang it, Emma please don't cry," Songbird said when she heard Emma's voice break.

"I'm not," Emma lied.

"Emma—" Songbird broke off when she heard the Governor's heavy boots coming down the hall. "Take good care of yourself okay?"

Emma's face went pale and she and Brad stood up with Songbird as the door opened.

"Ready?" The Governor asked with a smile as he held up the leash and beckoned her closer.

"No." She stood her ground. "Come on. I'll do…" she swallowed hard and forced the words out. "I'll do whatever else you want me to do okay? Just…please don't make me do this."

He walked over and clipped the leash to her collar with an amused shake of his head.

"You aren't even going to listen to me?" she asked desperately. "Just—"

"Why should I?" He sounded bored. "You'll do whatever I want anyway. I thought you understood that. If I want you to fight, you'll fight. If I want you to fuck me, you'll fuck me…and anybody else I decide to share you with."

Songbird felt her face heat up as Brad and Emma stared at her with growing realization.

The Governor yanked her chin up so she had to look at him and said, "That's cute. Blushing like that when I know all about what that mouth can do—"

She kept her face stubbornly averted from Brad and Emma even though she wanted to curl up and die.

"I only talk about significant things with them," she said tightly.

The collar tightened and he said, "I'll show you significant after your fight then. Seems I haven't been quite memorable enough for you."

Songbird didn't catch all the details of what happened next, but apparently Brad had reached his limit. She heard Emma call out, saw a blur of movement from the corner of the room and then, Martinez's machete flashed through the air and hot blood gushed over Songbird's left arm and down her side. Emma screamed and Songbird saw with sickening clarity that Martinez had cut off Brad's left hand. The Governor gave a short laugh. Emma ran over and fell to her knees beside her father clamping her hands around the injury. Brad's face went paper white as he looked down and then he slumped over.

"Do something!" Songbird said. "Get the doctor!"

"Why exactly should I do that?" the Governor asked curiously.

"Because." She thought fast. "If you do…then I'll make sure the fight is a good one. One people will talk about for years. Come on! Please!"

She could feel the blood going from warm to clammy as it soaked through her shirt. The iron smell in the air was making her sick and Emma, though she was trying to keep pressure on the wound, couldn't do much without something to make a tourniquet.

"I can't deny that I like your spirit," he said after a few seconds. "Martinez, take him down to the good doctor's office. Leave the girl here."

Emma looked panicked, but Martinez just shoved her to the side as he bent to pick Brad up.

"Songbird—" she said.

"It'll be okay," Songbird lied. "Remember what you said. Love you, Em."

"You too Songbird," Emma answered in a whisper.

The Governor pulled Songbird out of the room and shut the door. It was time to go to the ring.


	84. Chapter 81

1.

Songbird strapped her machetes to her back and the one knife sheath she'd been allowed to her left ankle. God it was tempting…but she knew that she wouldn't survive the attempt to kill the Governor. The terrified woman was shoved into the cage beside her to wait until the Governor chose to release them into the ring. Songbird didn't look at her, but she could hear her sobs. Men leaned over the wire, ready to cut the Walkers free on the Governors command.

She looked the Walkers over; they all looked pretty fresh, which had sickening implications. She saw Ethan, the last guy to take the ring with her, straining against his bonds front and center. The Governor would make a spectacle of that. There were ten Walkers. She had eight knives. This fight could be over in a split second but she'd promised to make it good. She cracked her neck and made her plan.

"Listen," she said quickly to the woman beside her. "I'm not going to kill you-"

"What?"

"Don't interrupt me!" Songbird snapped; she knew they didn't have much time. "I promised him that it'd be a good fight so he wouldn't let my dad bleed out. I'm going to keep my word…but I don't plan to make it out of here. You keep out of my way, you understand? If a Walker gets near you I'll take it out. You have to trust me. Okay?"

"Okay," the woman answered. "But—"

They were pushed into the ring. Songbird drew her machetes and twirled them loosely, casually. Then she cracked her neck again and looked impatiently up at the Governor. It wasn't much different than putting on a performance personality. He grinned down at her and signaled for the ropes to be cut.

She stepped in front of the woman and whistled low. The Walkers, confused from the sheer amount of humans nearby, all turned her way. She beckoned them with a grin.

"What are you doing?" the woman behind her gasped.

"You see anywhere to hide?" Songbird asked. "I promised him a good fight remember? Move back or you're going to get blood on you."

The woman stepped back; Songbird swung the machete at the first Walker to reach her and sent its head bouncing off the wire as she kicked the body backward. One down. Nine to go.

2.

Michelangelo suddenly lifted his head and stopped walking. His whole body trembled with excitement and then he bolted.

"Hurry the fuck up!" Daryl called back to Freddy and Shane. "He's got somethin'!"

When they finally arrived at where Michelangelo stood they were briefly confused. There seemed to be nothing. Daryl glanced around at the woods and squinted into the dense trees, down a hill. Then he backtracked a bit.

"So I guess they did hear the boys," Shane said when he saw the direction Daryl was looking. "This is near it. Just more west than south."

"Yeah," Daryl answered shortly. "Now we just gotta figure out whether to look in the woods or up the road."

Freddy turned to glance up the road when the dying sunlight glinted off of something on the ground.

"Daryl," he called. "Look at this."

"What?" Daryl looked down and then crouched quickly.

He picked up the small throwing knife carefully, avoiding the blood that covered it nearly to the hilt.

"One of the ones I gave her," he muttered. "So where'd you go darlin'?"

"Looks like a vehicle's been here recently," Shane said from a few feet away. "Hard to tell with the rain, but they scuffed tires. In a hurry."

"We're going to have to assume that, for whatever reason, they went with the people in the vehicle," Freddy said.

"Yeah," Daryl agreed, wiping the knife off carefully. "And this tells me that my girl might not've been real pleased to go."

"We oughta go back and get the car," Shane said. "We might need to get moving faster than our feet can carry us."

Daryl hated the idea of the delay, but he knew Shane was right, so they headed back to where they'd left the Jeep parked as fast as they could.

3.

In answer to the woman's scream, Songbird threw her second knife of the evening and took a second to be relieved when the Walker that had cornered her fell, the knife to the hilt in its temple. She was exhausted and sweaty and she'd only dropped a little over half of the Walkers in the ring. Dragging out a fight was hard work. The Governor obviously liked it; she kept seeing him punch Martinez in the arm and grin. Martinez was watching her closely too.

"Enjoy it while you can boys," she whispered sardonically.

She ducked a clumsy grab and stood up quickly, shoving the point of the machete at an angle through the Walker's chin and out the top of its head. She yanked the blade back out and spun to avoid the next one. A quick count told her that there were only three left. She'd made sure Ethan, or the Walker Ethan had become, was one of them. He was headed for the woman now, but not close enough to be an immediate danger. Then there was the Walker to her right, and one that looked like it couldn't decide between her and the woman cowering in the corner. Grand finale time. She bent swiftly and yanked a knife from her ankle sheath with her left hand. As she rose and threw the knife fluidly, she beheaded the Walker on the right with the machete in the other hand. The Walker beside her and the one across the cage both fell at the same time.

Now it was just her and Ethan. Now it was over. She took a deep breath and ran across the ring. She couldn't just walk up and let him get her; she had to make it look like an accident. Songbird put herself between the woman and Ethan and made sure that she had his attention before she moved back. He moved after her, clumsy, but quick.

She planned to fall in a few seconds. There was a little clump of grass a few yards away that would make it look perfectly natural. And then she'd be dead. Not even dead probably. Walker-fied. She swallowed the tears and the terror that threatened to overwhelm her and let herself trip and fall backwards. A gasp ran through the crowd as Ethan snarled and reached for her.

He never got there. Songbird sat up in confusion when he dropped hard to the ground. The same pole she'd used to kill him with was now sticking out of the back of his head. The woman stood there staring at her, wringing her hands.

"What did you do?" Songbird whispered. "I—"

The woman dropped to her knees and held up her hand to stem Songbird's words.

"You can take care of her," she said. "You could save us all. How could I let you do this? Especially when—" She stopped and coughed.

Songbird saw blood stain her fingers before she clenched them into a fist.

"I've been feeling sick since dinner," the woman said. "He's the type that believes in insurance. I'm dead either way. I—" her voice broke. "I need to know that you'll take care of her."

Songbird had a sense of déjà vu but she nodded and said, "I'll do my best. I…he might kill me too."

"No. You're valuable to him, at least for now." The woman's face twisted into a grimace of pain and she coughed again. Then she hunched over and vomited blood and a sickly looking blackish liquid.

The people in the stands were getting restless and when Songbird glanced up she could tell that the Governor wasn't pleased. His face was dark with anger as he looked down at her. Martinez had that smirk on his face again.

"End it so I don't come back," the woman said. "I don't want to be one of those things."

Songbird stood slowly and drew her machete.

"What's your daughter's name?" she asked.

"Lily. Lily Nicole. Tell her that I love her…make sure she knows that!"

Songbird could see panic start to overtake the woman's face. She swallowed hard and gripped the machete hard.

"I will. Hey, close your eyes for me," she said.

The moment the woman's eyes slid shut she swung the machete. When her head fell from her shoulders Songbird pushed the blade through the temple so no part of the woman would come back. She knew that her tears wouldn't be visible to the people outside the ring so she let them flow freely as she sheathed her machetes and gathered her knives.

What had she done? God, what had she done? She'd barely gotten her knives sheathed before the Governor was yanking them away and having her dragged from the ring.

"Bring her to me," he ordered Martinez.

4.

Daryl held onto Michelangelo's collar as they bumped along in the Jeep. Shane was driving fast, but it wasn't fast enough for Daryl. He gritted his teeth so that he didn't order him to drive faster. He could see Mackensie fidgeting and he knew that guy was struggling too. That was part of the reason he'd agreed to let Shane come along. He wasn't invested the same way. He'd been clear headed the whole time and Daryl was surprised to find that he was grateful.

He'd be even more grateful if they could hurry the fuck up.

"Hey look," Mackensie said suddenly. "There's a town in five miles. Woodbury."

"Might be a good place to start," Shane said. "Make sure it's deserted. Whoever took her couldn't have come from too far away."

"Yeah."

The passed the miles in tense silence and then suddenly Shane said, "Are those lights?"

"Kill the headlights," Mackensie said. "Pull over and park somewhere out of the way."

They got out and walked closer. They made sure to keep to the tree line, but they knew what they heard.

"Ain't deserted," Daryl said.

"There are guards," Shane said. "All of 'em armed."

"Look at the crosses," Mackensie said, pointing near the entrance to Main Street. "Just like the mall."

"And the depot." Daryl felt sick. God, what if they were too late? What if his girl was mounted on one of those things right now?

"We need some recon," Mackensie said. "I'll go." At the other's incredulous looks he said, "It's a whole damn town! They can't have all of it locked down. I'm not coming back till I figure out whether they're in there so don't come looking for me."

No one spoke.

"Jeez," Freddy muttered. "No, really, you guys, don't try to talk me out of it."

"Don't get cute," Daryl snarled. "It's the best plan and you know it. Get in there."

Freddy headed off. He skirted the guards pretty easily, but he soon discovered that navigating the town wouldn't be so easy. He really stood out in his riot gear for one thing and for another the few people he caught stealthy glimpses of seemed uneasy and paranoid. He'd hoped to catch some conversations that might lend some clues but no one spoke to anyone else. The whole thing had a creepy vibe.

Finally, from his shelter in the shadows he heard a tired looking woman carrying a basket of laundry say, "The fight's over then."

She'd been looking toward one of the sources of light. Freddy couldn't go look closely without being seen but he managed to get a little closer. He saw a crudely fenced in "ring" surrounded by bleachers. There were people leaving the stands quietly and what he thought were bodies scattered all over the ground inside the ring. What the fuck kind of place was this?

He was starting to turn away in disgust when he saw someone being dragged away from the ring toward a long building that he thought must have been a school. It was Songbird. Every muscle tensed as he forced himself not to run and grab her from the guy dragging her. He could kill the guy in a heartbeat, but he didn't know about the rest of this Stepford town. The man took her into the school and the door closed behind them. Freddy cursed softly. If they would just turn some damn lights off, he could find her.

5.

"What the fuck was that?" the Governor hissed when Martinez had gotten through tying Songbird up.

Her hands were bound together and tied to a hook in the ceiling so high that she had to stand on her tiptoes to keep her shoulders from being dislocated. They'd tied her feet together too, so tight that they were already tingling painfully and well on their way to being numb.

"A good fight," Songbird answered. "Like you wanted."

"Yeah," he said slowly. "Yeah it was perfect." The back of his hand cracked across her face. "Until the end."

She straightened her head slowly and tried not to wince visibly.

"I killed her."

"You didn't trip."

Another slap. She clenched her hands and wished she'd taken her chance when she had the knives.

"You saw me," she answered.

"I saw you pretend. Do you think I'm that stupid? We had a deal!"

"I kept my end of it!" she snapped. "I said a good fight. I never said I'd live through it!"

"You think you can fuck with me?" His voice was now low and cold. "I've been good to you. I was going to keep you all to myself…but now I think I'll let Martinez have his turn too. He likes them young."

Songbird spat some of the blood that had collected in her mouth at his feet. He smiled and said, "And then I'm going to bring that little girl in and let you tell her all about how you chopped off her mother's head. Then I'm going to let you explain that your disobedience is why she's being tortured."

"Leave her alone!" Songbird cried out. "What is wrong with you? She's just a kid. We're just people! Like you!"

"You're nothing like me!" His hand closed around her throat and he yanked her close to him. "You're weak and pathetic and meant to be used."

She opened her mouth but no sound came out. When she was dizzy and she could hear her blood rushing through her veins he let go and she gasped involuntarily.

"I'll send Martinez in later," he said. "I'm not so sure you'll enjoy him. He's into some things that even I think are odd. But, if you enjoy pain, you'll enjoy him. He likes to break people."

The door closed. Songbird began to struggle with the ropes. She lifted herself and pulled as hard as she could but they didn't budge. What the hell were these ceilings made of? She wasn't aware that she was crying again until a particularly rough sob broke from her throat. However, as she stood there crying, a song came to her. A song that had nothing to do with anything. She listened carefully. Someone was whistling outside her window. She knew the song. It had been on one of the CD's Emma had taken from the mall. Daryl hated it. What were the lyrics again…it came to her slowly and in bits and pieces until she got to the chorus.

"Robert's got a quick hand…He's got a rolled cigarette…he's a cowboy kid…six shooter gun…dads closet…he's comin' for you yeah he's comin' for you…"

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks

you better run better run out run my gun

all the other kids with the pumped up kicks

you better run better run faster than my bullet"

She realized with a start that it was Freddy whistling. Freddy! And Robert…Daryl's middle name. Freddy didn't do anything less than intentionally. Daryl was here too! She tried to look in the direction of the sound, but she was turned too far. She cursed savagely. The sound disappeared. Songbird assumed that he was doing recon, figuring out where everyone was before making a strike. Hope flooded her. Daryl was here. She might survive this.

It killed Freddy to do it, but after he figured out where Songbird was, he had to go. He'd killed the guard at Songbird's window, and while he'd hidden the body as well as he could, he figured that eventually someone would notice the guy was gone. He'd have to count on her knowing where the others were.

Daryl sat up when he heard footsteps.

"I found her," Freddy said. "We need to hurry."

"You ain't gotta tell me twice," Daryl said, shouldering his crossbow. "Let's go get 'em."


	85. Chapter 82

Songbird realized that she had a headache from listening so hard for Daryl. She twitched at every sound in the hallway. She heard sounds outside the window but that really just told her that it couldn't have been Daryl or Freddy. Neither one of them would have made noise. She heard the Governor yelling at someone and something about a dead guard. Go Freddy. Now if they'd just get their asses back here…like now.

Her door opened and Martinez walked in. She assumed he was there to question her about the guard, but he was silent. He skimmed her body with his eyes and then pulled a shiny steel knife from a sheath on his belt and studied her some more.

She couldn't help flinching when he stepped closer.

"You don't need to do that yet," he said with a smile as he began cutting her sleeve off at her shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

"This is in my way," he answered. "Don't be so impatient. You'll see."

He split the seam of her shirt all the way down to the cuff and ripped it the rest of the way off. What the hell? The tip of the knife ran down her arm. There wasn't enough pressure to break the skin but it stung and sent shivers through her body.

"I don't know if you've noticed," Martinez said conversationally. "the scars on some of the other people here?"

"No."

He looked disappointed at her answer, but he sighed and said, "Well, I'm sort of an artist. I used to do tattoos, but I ran out of ink. I don't like those half assed prison tattoos people do with ballpoint pen ink…so I had to find a new way to make my mark. And then I remembered."

"Remembered what?" Songbird asked.

"Scars. It's basically the same as a tattoo, but instead of adding ink, I'm removing skin. Songbird," he mused. "It's interesting. Where'd you get the name?"

"A friend."

She was leaning heavily on the ropes now. Her head felt light and her stomach was in knots. Hurry Daryl. God, please.

He pressed the knife into her skin and she sucked in a breath through her teeth as blood welled up.

"Keep still," he said patiently, as if he'd done this thousands of times. Maybe he had.

She turned her head so she didn't have to watch, but the pain was like nothing she'd ever felt. It would have been better if he was just cutting, but he wasn't. She felt him make a few incisions and then peel her skin away. A gray haze blurred her vision and her head fell to the side.

When she came to it was raining. The steady drum of it was soothing…at least it would have been if he hadn't still been at it. She could feel her blood running down her arm and soaking her shirt. It was cold in places and warm in others. She was lightheaded and nauseous.

"Almost done," he said cheerfully. "You were out for a while. That made it easier. It's the biggest design I've ever done."

She believed him. Her entire arm felt raw and he was reaching up to work on her wrist.

"Dead guard," she said to distract herself and hopefully freak him out. "I heard the Governor say there was a dead guard."

"Yeah," Martinez frowned down at her. "You don't know anything about that do you?"

She didn't answer. The knife flashed as he lowered it and pushed the point into her throat. She closed her eyes.

"How could I?" she asked. "I've been here. I'm guessing my family is where I left them."

"Emma is," Martinez said. "Your dad's in the infirmary."

_Idiot_, Songbird thought. Maybe she could get some more out of him.

"And the kid? Haven't heard screams."

"Oh he's leaving her for later."

Songbird nodded and then winced when it made her dizzy. Blood was still running down her arm and she was having trouble keeping her vision focused.

"Take a look at it," Martinez said.

Songbird forced herself to glance up. Her arm looked awful. Just as raw as it felt, it was oozing blood and staining what skin she had left bright red. Black edged her sight and she swayed on her feet.

"Now don't tell me you don't like it," he said with a smirk. "Give me a kiss and say thank you."

Just as he yanked her forward the door burst open with a loud crack and banged off the wall. Her heart leaped when she saw Daryl standing in the doorway, dripping wet and obviously pissed off.

"The fuck are you doin' with my girl?"

It wasn't really fair; he didn't even give Martinez a chance to answer the question before a bolt lodged between the man's eyes. Songbird sobbed in relief. Two steps closed the distance between them and Daryl cut the ropes. She staggered as blood rushed back through her feet and fingertips and bit back a cry at the pain in her injured arm.

Daryl cupped the nape of her neck and pulled her forward to lean against him.

"What happened to you baby?" he asked. This was worse than he could have imagined. What the hell had they done to her arm? He'd never seen her so pale or so terrified.

"The Governor—" she sobbed out. "Oh God, Daryl please we have to leave! We have to—"

"Was that him?" Daryl asked, kicking the dead body at their feet.

Songbird shook her head.

"There's _more_ of these sick fucks?"

"Yes! I don't know how many more! I don't know who's loyal and who's not! We've got to go! We've got to run! Emma and Brad—and Lily. God, I've got to find Lily."

"Who the fuck's Lily?" Daryl would have shaken her if he hadn't been scared to touch her arm. He made his voice sharper as he repeated the question.

The tone must have helped because Songbird wiped her face and took a deep breath. He saw her gather her composure before she answered.

"I made Lily's mother a promise. We have to take her. Her mother died earlier. We have to find Emma—"

"Mackensie and Shane are working on that."

"I know right where they are-" Songbird said. "Really? Shane's here?"

"Yeah. He was worried about you. Hang on," Daryl went on when Songbird began gathering her weaponry and strapping the knife sheaths to her uninjured arm.

He began undoing his riot gear.

"What are you doing?"

"Givin' this to you."

"No! You—"

"I ain't the one losin' blood all over the damn place," Daryl snapped, his eyes betraying his worry and showing his fury at the same time. "You could get infected and you're gonna be weaker. Just take it darlin'; we ain't got time to argue."

She did as he suggested because she knew he'd stand there until she agreed anyway. When she stepped out the door Michelangelo pressed his head against her hip and she hooked her fingers through his collar and gave him a smile. His eyes were worried and she knew he could smell the blood soaking the sleeve of the riot gear Daryl had given her. Three dead guards lay outside the door. Daryl snagged two arrows and a bolt on their way past. Emma's door was open and Songbird's heart pounded with anxiety until she walked in and found Emma in Freddy's arms. Her sister was sobbing just like Songbird had been doing a few minutes ago.

"Em," Songbird said. "Pull it together."

"You're alive!" Emma pulled away from Freddy and ran to her sister.

Songbird bit her lip when Emma's hug pressed painfully into her arm but she didn't say anything. She saw a relieved look on Freddy's face over Emma's shoulder and she gave him a half smile.

"Where's Shane?"

"Keepin' watch," Daryl said. "We gotta get a move on."

"Is Lily still next door?" Songbird asked.

"Yeah," Emma said. "Are you—did you—what about her mom?"

"Dead," Songbird answered briefly. "I made a promise. We have to take her."

Freddy kicked down the door and they walked inside the room quickly. There was a girl of about ten years old sitting in the corner. She flinched when they walked closer, but she stared up defiantly.

"You're Lily right?" Songbird asked.

"How'd you know my name?"

"Your mom told me."

"You're Songbird?"

"Yeah."

Songbird was the only one who wasn't shocked when the kid came to her feet so fast it was like levitation and threw herself at her, swinging wildly.

"What the fuck?" Daryl grabbed Lily and held her arms back. He picked her up when she lashed out with her feet.

"I didn't kill your mother," Songbird said with tears in her eyes.

"You're a liar! He told me you did! He told me how you—" the girl choked back a sob and went on viciously. "You hurt her and you cut off her head and—" it was too much. The girl crumpled up in Daryl's grip and sobbed until she gagged.

"I didn't." Songbird said in a moment between the girl's sobs. "He poisoned her, Lily. There was nothing I could do. And if there had been something I could do then I would have. I was going to."

Daryl felt like he was choking on questions he knew he'd be better off asking later. Why the hell did this kid think Songbird had killed her mother? What kind of person would tell a kid something like that anyway? What the fuck was wrong with this place?

"I need you to come with us," Songbird finished. "I promised your mother that I'd get you out of here. She loved you and she wanted you to be safe. You never have to see me again once we're out of here, but I've got to take you with me."

Still sobbing, Lily nodded. Emma stepped forward and extended her hand. Lily took it.

"Infirmary," Songbird said. "For Brad."

Shane joined them in the walk down the hall and gave Songbird a light punch in the shoulder and a half smile. She returned it. He might be a cheater and more than a little crazy, but he was nothing compared to what she'd just been through.

It took a bit to navigate their way to the infirmary without being seen. When they finally pushed the door open they found the nurse sitting with Brad. She saw Daryl, Freddy, and Shane take a double look at the bandaged stump that had been Brad's left hand, but no one mentioned it. The nurse stared at them with her lips slightly parted, as if shocked that they were there. The doctor looked up from a small piece of paper he was writing on and she thought she saw a small smile on his face at seeing her alive and well.

"We're taking him," Songbird said flatly.

Brad stood up and pulled the nurse to her feet.

"Come with us," he offered the doctor and nurse. "Ashley," he went on when the woman started to shake her head. "You can't give up. He wouldn't have wanted you to die like him."

Songbird cast a questioning look between them but before she could say anything voices rang down the hall.

"Shit," Freddy said as he pushed Emma in front of him. "Get that door closed."

Shane slammed it shut and they all stared at each other for a moment.

"The window," Freddy said. "If we hurry." He yanked it open as he spoke and grabbed Emma around the waist. "Run like hell sweetheart."

He helped Lily out and climbed down after her. Brad followed. Shane went next and was reaching for Songbird when a shotgun blast reverberated through the room and the door splintered apart.

"Run!" Songbird yelled.

Daryl dropped the guy with the shotgun and Songbird got the next man. Then it was quiet. She knew the Governor didn't have many guards. There'd been the one at her window, Martinez, the three in the hall, these two…maybe that was all.

Shane had boosted himself back up instead of running and he was now standing behind Songbird.

"Gotta be clear now," Shane said after a few moments. "Didn't see many on the way in. We've got to hurry. Mackensie might be at the Jeep by now."

Daryl stepped forward and looked closely at Songbird. She was as white as a sheet.

"Sure you're all right darlin'?"

"Yeah. The sooner we get out of here the better I'll—"

The next shot came out of nowhere. Songbird was still in the middle of her sentence when the bullet struck home. For a second everything seemed to go perfectly still. She and Daryl stared at each other, suspended, seemingly, in a beat in time that seemed to last just a second too long. Daryl raised his hand and brushed his fingers down her cheek. Then his eyes closed and he fell.

"No." Songbird wanted to scream but her throat had tightened too much. Her vision wavered again and her knees went weak. She felt Shane's hands on her arms from behind her, keeping her upright.

The Governor smirked at her from the doorway. There were two other men with him on either side. That really had to be the last of them; she knew he would have brought everyone he could with him for this. Songbird forced herself away from Shane.

"I could have used him in the ring," the Governor said chidingly. "When are you going to get it through your head that you're mine now?"

Songbird watched Daryl's chest. It rose and fell slowly. Still alive. There was still time.

"Come here girl," the Governor said in a mocking tone. "Come back where you belong."

Michelangelo had gone tense beside her and Shane still had his gun. The pieces clicked into place so smoothly it was like she'd known this would happen. Red hot fury leant strength that blood loss had drained away earlier.

"Go get him," she whispered to Michelangelo before giving Shane a quick glance.

He was on the same page because he gave her a split second grin as he swung the gun around. Michelangelo bolted for the man on the Governors left.

Without really processing what she was going to do when she got there Songbird ran straight for the Governor. Michelangelo sprang and the guy on the left went down with a yell that was partially covered by the blast from Shane's shotgun. The man to the right fell too, and blood and brain matter splattered over Songbird's right side as the Governor's gun went off again. At close range, it felt like someone had punched her in the stomach, and she stumbled, but she kept running. That riot gear really was bullet proof. For the first time since she'd seen him the confident look on his face faded.

A quick movement of her fingers unsheathed one of her knives and a flashing motion of her hand buried it in his eye. Not deep enough to kill him, but killing him hadn't been her aim. At least not yet.

She spun and connected her boot solidly with his balls. When he went to his knees she reversed and kicked him in the side of the head. He'd brought one hand up to cover his eye and blood was dripping down through his fingers. She laughed bitterly and stepped on his wrist when he tried to bring the gun up. She twisted her boot until she heard his bones snap.

"Don't kill me," he gasped out.

"Why would I let you live?" she asked.

"Because you're…not a killer…" he answered. "Not a killer. You said—"

"You know what?" Songbird asked. "I changed my fucking mind."

She unsheathed the machete and it down straight in the middle of the Governor's stomach, so hard that it stuck in the wood floor underneath him. He screamed in agony.

"It takes a long time to die that way," she said. "Enjoy it you sick son of a bitch."

She snapped her fingers for Michelangelo to follow her and then she left the Governor where he was, writhing on the floor, screams turning into moans and finally whimpers as blood pooled out around him.

When she stepped back into the room she saw that the doctor was leaning over Daryl, working feverishly. His chest was still rising and falling. Still alive.

"Why won't he wake up?" she asked as she knelt beside him.

"It's better that he doesn't," the doctor said shortly. "I'm trying to figure out how to get him out of here without killing him."

"The ambulance!" the nurse suddenly burst out. "If we could get the ambulance—"

"Where is it?" Songbird demanded.

The doctor gave her directions.

"I'll go too," Shane said. "I can hot wire it."

"The many talents of law enforcement," Songbird said absently. "Stay here Michelangelo."

The dog lay down with his nose on his paws beside Daryl.

They walked out into the hallway. The Governor reached weakly for her leg and she yanked the machete out roughly.

"Sorry," she said. "I need this. And since I don't want you coming back..." she chopped off his head and then plucked her knife from his eye.

"What did he do to you?" Shane asked in shock. "Other than shoot Daryl."

She only shook her head. The streets looked pretty clear. She guessed maybe people had been ordered to stay in when the trouble started. It was still raining and she raised her face to it, letting it wash over her for a moment. It soaked through and stung her arm, but it cleared her head a little. It might be over. Not just this, but everything. Without Daryl, it was all over.

Shane put his hand on her shoulder and they walked over to the fire and rescue department to commandeer the ambulance that had been left there. It looked pretty clean. Shane had it running in no time and they pulled up to the school doors.

Gradually doors started to open and faces peeked out. They must have sensed a shift. A crowd gathered but no one spoke so Songbird and Shane didn't address them.

The doctor and nurse got Daryl onto the stretcher and Songbird and Michelangelo took their posts in the back. The doctor sat in the back too, which left Shane to drive and the nurse to ride shotgun. The ambulance pulled out of the town of Woodbury. Songbird laid her head on Daryl's chest and prayed more fervently than she ever had before. God not Daryl too. Not Daryl too.


	86. Chapter 83

1.

They followed the Jeep up to the prison gates and Shane got out to help open them. Songbird watched Daryl's chest rise and fall as she heard the gates rattle and drag open. His breathing was slow and his face was pale. Blood had soaked through his flannel shirt and the gurney he was laying on to leave tiny rivulets on the ambulance floor. She watched them trickle toward the door as Shane put the vehicle in gear to drive them in.

"What happened?" Emma gasped when she saw the doors open.

"He got shot," Shane explained brusquely, brushing her aside and reaching for Songbird's hand.

She took it numbly and jumped down. Her legs buckled and he got a firmer grip on her arm, causing her to gasp in pain. Shane looked at his palm, now streaked with her blood, and stared at her in surprise.

"When did you get hurt?"

"Before," she answered with her eyes still on the stretcher. He was still breathing. Still alive.

The others had come out when Glenn, who'd posted himself as a guard, alerted them that the Jeep was back.

"You're back!" Greg ran toward Brad and his sister, but he stopped short in shock when he saw they bloody bandages around what had been his father's left hand. "Dad?"

Brad moved his hand behind his back and held his other arm out for his son. Greg moved forward and carefully leaned against him. Emma stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her little brother too. Songbird couldn't move.

The rest of the group stood in silence as the stretcher was unloaded.

"I'm a doctor," Dr. Cooper said. "Do you have an infirmary?"

"Yes," Herschel said as he stepped forward. "I'll show you where. He's been my patient before."

"You're a doctor as well?" Cooper looked excited at the prospect.

"In a sense," Herschel said dryly. "We'll just leave it at the fact that I'm familiar with the scrapes this man gets himself into. Come with me please. Nurse Emma? Are you up to it?"

She nodded and looked at Brad.

"We might as well bring you," Cooper nodded at Brad and raised an eyebrow at Songbird. She shook her head.

Emma gave her a concerned glance, but she followed Cooper, Herschel, Brad and Ashley.

"What about your arm?" Shane asked in an undertone.

"It's fine."

Songbird shook free of the rest of the group, leaving Shane and Freddy to tell them what had happened and pushed open the door to the infirmary. Everyone was busy. Dr. Cooper looked like he was going to wave her back out, but Herschel pulled up a chair near Daryl's bed but out of their way and she curled up into it.

The medical jargon wouldn't have made much sense to her anyway, but now it was the steady drone of a language she didn't speak. She kept her gaze on Daryl. His chest was rising and falling. Rising and falling. There were needles and clear tubes. Rising and falling. His shirt was cut off so it was out of the way. Blood stains on his chest and stomach and the hole where the bullet had gone straight through. Rising and falling. First stitches, and then maneuvering him so that they could get to his back; then serious looks and hushed whispers. More stitches. Rising and falling, rising and falling. Then nothing. Songbird's heart went into overdrive as if that would help Daryl's somehow. The voices grew more alarmed, but the sounds still wouldn't separate themselves into words that she could understand. Her vision grew gray and blurry the way it had back in Woodbury.

The voices grew quiet. She realized that she'd left bloody indentions in her palms. The haze faded from her vision. His chest was rising and falling again. Still alive.

When everyone was taken care of, Emma put her hand on Songbird's shoulder.

"Songbird?"

Songbird turned her head briefly and glanced at Emma before returning her gaze to Daryl.

"Songbird come on. You need to clean up."

Songbird shook her head.

"Please," Emma said softly. "Let me help you."

Songbird shook her head again. If she could just stay here. If she could just stay still. He couldn't die right in front of her. God couldn't be so cruel. She was only half aware that her sister had stepped away and headed out of the room. Daryl was still breathing; he was still alive.

2.

Emma came back an hour later, showered, composed, and determined.

"You're going to take a shower. I've brought you some other clothes."

Songbird looked at her hands. She hadn't realized how bloody she was. She looked back at Daryl.

"He's stable," Dr. Cooper said. "You can go clean up."

Songbird looked at Herschel. He gave her a kind smile and a nod. She stood slowly. Emma took her hand and led her to the bathroom and turned a shower on for her.

"I'll be right out here," she said as she walked over and laid the clothes she'd brought Songbird on a chair someone had brought in.

She peeled off the riot gear which, even though it had been big on her, had stuck to her arm and took a deep breath before stepping into the shower. The cold water on her skinned arm was excruciating. Tears mingled with the water on her face and, as she'd feared, once she started to cry she couldn't stop.

At first she did her best to keep quiet, but eventually the pain in her throat grew until she couldn't help but let out a hoarse sob. One followed another as the pain in her arm refused to relent. She remembered what the Governor had done to her; she remembered what she'd done to Lily's mother. She saw Daryl's face as he fell. She braced her hands on the shower wall and fought the urge to scream in helpless desperation.

"Songbird?"

Songbird couldn't answer. All she could do was step out from under the water and into the towel Emma was holding out for her. She saw Emma's face blanch white at the sight of her arm, but she didn't say anything.

After Songbird was dressed in her yoga pants and a long sleeved cotton shirt, Emma helped her comb and braid her hair.

"This is sort of like the first time we met isn't it?" Emma asked.

Songbird nodded tiredly.

"Herschel says you need sleep," Emma continued. "They're going to have Daryl under observation for tonight. I want to bandage your arm. Come down to the infirmary-"

"I don't want anyone to see it," Songbird said.

Emma didn't see the point in arguing so she said, "Then I'll bring it to your room."

"I'm not leaving him."

"You can go back after I've bandaged you up."

After a long moment, Songbird nodded in assent so Emma walked her to her room and then went back to the infirmary for bandages. She snagged a sleeping pill on her way out and dissolved it in a cup of water with Dr. Cooper's permission.

After she drank the water, Songbird could barely stay awake until Emma was done with the bandages.

"Just rest," Emma said soothingly. "It'll be fine."

"Just don't let him die Em. Promise me."

She was asleep before Emma could answer. Emma pulled the covers up around Songbird's shoulders and smiled when Michelangelo jumped up beside her sister.

"You take good care of her," Emma said. "We'll take care of him."

Songbird could hardly believe it when she woke up the next morning in her own bed at the prison. She sat up slowly, wondering why she felt so groggy. She slid the curtains open and jumped when she saw Freddy lying on the bunk across the room.

"Hey," he said as he sat up. "I was wondering when you'd wake up."

"I can't believe I went to sleep."

"Yeah well, Emma knocked you out."

"What?"

"Yep. Sleeping pill. She didn't expect it to last this long though. She's actually been sort of freaking out."

"How long?" Songbird asked when an edge to her voice.

"It's about 2 in the afternoon," Freddy said easily. "And don't get mad at her. If anyone was ever on the edge of a total mental breakdown it was you yesterday."

Songbird clenched her hands but she had to acknowledge that he was right.

"Daryl's still alive," Freddy went on. "He hasn't woken up either."

"Will he?"

Freddy stood up and walked across the tiny cell. He sat down beside her and put his arm around her shoulders. She went tense as she prepared for bad news.

"They don't know. They think so though."

"They think so?"

"Yeah. Nothing's certain right now, Songbird. They can't just wheel him down the hall for a full body scan you know."

"Yeah."

"We're thinking about moving him in here tomorrow though," Emma said from the doorway, giving them the tired smile of a professional nurse. "He's really stable."

"That's probably the first time anyone's ever had the chance to say that about Daryl," Songbird said giving a small laugh that even she was surprised by.

Maybe it was mild hysteria or maybe it was pure and simple relief but it felt good to be able to chuckle briefly. Emma smiled back and Freddy gave her a good natured nod.

That evening after supper, Rick pulled her into his room.

"Are you doing all right?" he asked.

"Mostly," she answered honestly. "How's Carl's leg?"

"Seems to be doing well," he answered. Then, with the formalities out of the way, he said, "Tell me about Woodbury."

"I thought Shane—"

"I want to hear it from you."

She sighed, but she explained it as best she could, sticking to directions and the layout of the town.

"And you don't think there's anyone left who might want revenge?"

"I don't see who would want revenge for me killing the Governor," Songbird answered.

"But if they did, they'd know where to find us."

"How?"

Rick pointed to the riot gear hanging on the bunk bed. The prison's name was embroidered in big, bold white letters on the black cloth.

"Daryl, Freddy and Shane were all walking billboards for the place."

Songbird hadn't thought of that.

"What should we do?" she asked.

"We need to leave," he answered. "As soon as possible."

"Have you talked to Herschel or Dr. Cooper about Daryl?"

"They can't move him until he wakes up. They need to see the extent of the injury. That doesn't change the danger we might be in though."

Silence fell as Rick looked steadily at her.

"Are you saying you'd leave us?" she asked.

"I'm saying that…" Rick broke off and pushed his hands through his hair. "No. No of course not."

Songbird wasn't convinced, but she didn't argue with him. She hoped Daryl would wake up soon. She couldn't blame Rick for wanting to go. He'd kept his family together through the entire Walker infestation and it would be foolish to sit around and let some sick townspeople fuck it up. But she really didn't want to be left alone in the prison either.

She went back to infirmary and looked down into Daryl's pale, still face.

"Wake up okay? I need you."

Nothing. She sighed and sat down in what had become her chair by his bedside. It looked like a long night ahead. 


	87. Chapter 84

_Baby why'd you leave me_

_Why'd you have to go?_

_I was counting on forever, now I'll never know_

_Oh, now I'll never know_

_It's like I'm looking from a distance_

_Standing in the background_

_Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now_

_This can't be happening to me_

_This is just a dream_

Daryl shifted and frowned when he felt a tug at his arm. A squinted glance to his right showed a clear IV line in his arm. The fuck?

"Fuckin' hell," he muttered. "Ain't it too early to be singin' darlin'?"

Songbird covered her mouth with her hands to hold back her shriek of pure joy. Awake! He was awake!

"I knew that it would be a country song that brought you around," Songbird said with a smile despite the tears streaming down her face as she pushed his hair back.

"Why'd you have to pick such a sad one?"

Daryl's voice sounded rough with disuse and slurred from pain medicine and she'd never been happier to hear him complain.

"It's your own fault. You slept through the more cheerful ones."

"Shame on me," he said and made a face as he swallowed. "Is there anything to drink?"

"I have to go tell them you're awake first."

"No you don't. At least not yet. Why don't you tell me what happened? I don't even know how I got back here," he said with a glance around at the old familiar prison cell.

"You were in the infirmary at first. But they moved you back here a few days ago."

"That ain't what I mean," he said, ignoring the "days ago" part. He'd deal with that later. "I mean here. Outta Woodbury."

"Oh. I killed the Governor," she said and he saw something flash in her eyes that he'd never seen there before. Vengeance and a dark satisfaction that told him that maybe people should be wary of meeting his girl in dark alleys from now on. "We stole an ambulance and got you out—"

"Everybody make it?"

"Yeah. Freddy, Emma, Brad and Lily all made it to the Jeep before you got shot. Shane, Dr. Cooper, Ashley, and you and I left in the ambulance."

"Who's Ashley?" Daryl asked in confusion; he thought he remembered that Lily was the kid, but he didn't remember an Ashley at all.

"The nurse."

"Oh." He remembered her now and he was relieved.

"And everyone here did fine in our absence," Songbird went on. "You're Greg's hero. And mine."

"I do what I can," Daryl said with a shrug. "What about—"

"You were supposed to let me know when my patient was awake," Herschel said as he stepped into the room.

"She wanted to," Daryl informed him. "I made her talk to me instead. Thirsty as fuck though. Can I—"

"A little," Herschel cautioned Songbird as she got up to pour a cup of water. "I don't recommend stressing that injury by throwing up."

"Hell, I don't even think I'd notice," Daryl said. "How much pain medicine you got me on anyway? Can't feel nothin' past here." He gestured at his midsection.

It wasn't as much the professional, compassionate doctor look on Herschel's face, the one that they must teach in vet school that says without words that Fido didn't make it, that told him something was wrong. The cup of water falling from Songbird's hand told him everything he needed to know.

"Now we're not sure it will be a permanent condition," Herschel said gently. "We can't do much to assess your nerve damage here and it's my understanding that you had to leave Woodbury in something of a hurry."

"Yeah," Daryl said. "So…what are the odds?"

"I hesitate to give you any," Herschel began. "Dr. Cooper could come in and speak with you—"

"Guess," Daryl ordered. He trusted Herschel to patch him up more than some doctor he didn't even know.

"20%"

Daryl's heart leaped and then he realized that Herschel meant a 20% chance that it _wouldn't _be permanent.

"Okay." It seemed to be the only thing to say.

Herschel adjusted something on the I.V. line and left.

"Daryl…I…" Songbird began.

"Hey you know what?" he cut in. "I'm still thirsty. Would you mind goin' and gettin' some more water?"

"Yes. I mean no. I mean I will go get more water."

She left the room quickly. Daryl took a shallow breath, all he could manage, and held it for a moment.

"God."

He wasn't really talking; there was too much desperation in the single syllable for it to really be a word. He covered his face with both hands. Maybe he was still out and this was a dream. Maybe he was dead and this was hell.

Helpless. For the first time in his life he felt absolutely helpless. He'd never imagined the pure desolation of that word, of that feeling. He'd been on top of his game for this whole fucked up apocalypse and now… "_God_"

Songbird stood outside the blanket covered walls of the cell with her hand over her mouth to stifle her sobs. She'd never heard him sound so broken. She jumped when she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Brad standing there.

He opened his arms and she went into them, pressing her face against his chest.

"Daddy, this is all my fault!" she whispered tightly.

"No," he said soothingly. "No it's not, sweetheart. Daryl made the choice to do what he did and we both know he'd do it again. But that's not the point right now."

"It's not?"

"No. Right now he's in there feeling terrified and he's hurting and you need to go in there and let him know that you still need him and you still love him. He _should_ know," Brad said when she opened her mouth. "But it wouldn't hurt to give him a refresher."

Songbird gave her father another, tighter, hug and then pulled the cell door open again.

Daryl wiped the back of his hand across his face and cleared his throat, but the words he'd planned died when he saw tears dripping off her chin.

"Darlin' what—"

She put the cup of water down, crawled into bed with him, snuggled against him and, between sobs she couldn't stop, she whispered, "I love you Daryl. I love you so much."

"I…" he couldn't say anything without giving away how much he just wanted to have a breakdown.

"I'm so sorry," she continued. "I wish that it was me instead of you and—"

He tilted her chin up. "How the hell would that be better?"

"I don't know! I understand if you're mad at me—"

"Mad at you? Darlin'…I might never get mad at you again and that's really gonna fuck with our whole relationship. I thought I was gonna lose you. But I didn't and you're alive and you're here and I—"

"And so are you."

"I ain't even…I can't even…" He stopped talking and swallowed hard.

"Not yet. But eventually."

"There's an 80% chance that I'll never-" Another hard swallow. "God."

"I don't believe it," she said firmly. "You're Daryl Dixon and you're indestructible."

The sound he made wasn't quite a laugh, but it wasn't the sob he'd been afraid it would be either.

"Forgot about that. Why don't you tell me what the fuck happened."

"I did go off course," she explained guiltily. "I thought I heard something and we veered off…that's when they found us. The Governor owned that town; they did whatever he wanted. It was awful…it was creepy. He forced people to fight each other in a ring of Walkers…"

"You?"

Songbird nodded. Daryl felt the muscles he could feel clench in a futile attempt to sit up and hold her. Her eyes were wide, but strangely vacant. She was going to shut down like last time.

"Darlin'," he said. "You ain't gotta…"

"No. There was a man. I didn't really kill him. Not really. I tripped him. The Walkers got him and then…then…" she drew a breath. "I finished him off. The Governor…after it was over—" She'd planned to tell Daryl but she found that she couldn't force out the words. Bile rushed up her esophagus and she twisted her fingers together fiercely as helpless fear rushed through her veins. Over. Over. It was over. He couldn't come back from the dead. She'd made sure.

"What'd he do?" Daryl asked.

"Just…just kept me away from everyone," she said. It wasn't a lie. It just wasn't the whole truth. "I didn't know where they were or if they were okay."

She explained about Lily and her mother, and Brad's hand, and what had happened after Daryl had been shot. When the story had left her exhausted she curled up with her head on his shoulder. He rubbed his hand down her back.

"Proud of you," he said after a while. "You did good."

"It doesn't feel like it," she whispered. "Brad lost his hand, Lily lost her mom, you're hurt…"

"Ain't none of that your fault though. It was that sick bastard. And you even made sure he couldn't hurt nobody else."

She nodded slowly but she wasn't convinced that there wasn't something she could have done to prevent it all.

"You said I've been out for a few days. Tell me what's been goin' on here," Daryl said. "Carl's leg doin' all right?"

"Yeah. It's healing. He and Dale are sharing a set of crutches. I don't think anyone realized he'd gotten so tall."

"Kid's growing like a fuckin' weed," Daryl agreed. "What else?"

She debated whether to tell him about Rick's nervousness and Shane's tension. At least she understood Rick's problem. Shane had been weird since they'd gotten back. Half the time he ignored everyone and then he'd pull her aside with questions about Woodbury. But not questions like Rick asked, about defenses and weaponry; Shane asked seemingly random questions and then didn't even seem to pay attention to her answers, jumping from subject to subject in a confusing way.

"I see you thinkin'," Daryl said. "Might as well tell me what you're thinkin' about."

She went with the lesser of two evils and told him about Rick's worry about people finding them from the logos on the riot gear. Daryl looked thoughtful.

"Reckon he's onto somethin'," he finally admitted. "Maybe we might oughta go on."

"We can't," she said without thinking. "Not until you're better."

Irritation crossed Daryl's face and she regretted her words.

"It's not just you," she went on hurriedly. "It's Carl and Dale too. They can't travel far like that. Everyone needs to be able to walk in case something happens with the cars."

"I fuckin' know that," Daryl snapped. "When do the doctor's say Dale and Carl will be up to goin'?"

"I haven't asked."

"Find out when you can."

Songbird nodded and wished that she'd kept her mouth shut.

"So," she said after another long pause. "Want to go get something to eat?"

"How the hell you think I'm gonna do that?"

"Emma found a wheelchair—"

"No."

"I thought we could—"

"Said no."

"Why?"

"Not like this."

Daryl's jaw was set and she knew better than to argue. Maybe he wasn't doing as well with this as she'd hoped for the past few hours they'd been talking.

"Okay," she said. "I'll bring you something then. If anyone asks to see you—"

Daryl shook his head before the sentence was complete. Songbird nodded and stood up slowly.

"Be back soon."

Dinner had begun by the time she got there.

"Herschel says he's awake," Emma said when she walked in.

Songbird nodded and a general buzz of excited chatter went up from the tables.

"He can't feel anything below the waist," Songbird said over the chatter. The room fell silent. "It might be permanent."

Everyone's eyes turned toward Herschel and Cooper. They both nodded.

"What about leaving?" Lori asked. "Can he travel?"

"Not right now," Cooper answered.

"And I don't recommend it either," Herschel said. "If something happened and he couldn't walk…."

No one had to fill in the blanks. Lori glanced at Rick. Rick looked at the people gathered around. His son and his daughter. Andrea beside Dale with the crutch between them. Glenn and Maggie…Maggie's stomach was rounding just slightly. He glanced at Songbird and she saw the answer to the question she'd asked him the day after Woodbury. He might hate himself forever for it…but to keep the others safe, Rick would leave them.


	88. Chapter 85

Three days passed. Three agonizing days of Daryl refusing to see anyone. Three days of Shane's nonsensical questions. Three days of Emma's sympathetic looks. Emma thought Songbird needed to talk about what had happened at Woodbury. Songbird disagreed. She relived the Governor enough in her dreams; she wasn't going to allow his memory into her waking hours anymore than she had to.

The tension of waiting for Rick to speak his mind was getting to her too. She thought he was probably waiting until he could talk to Daryl. He'd be waiting for a long time if Herschel and Cooper's prognoses were correct.

Songbird let out the breath she'd been holding and leaned her head back against the brick of the prison wall. It seemed like it had been a long time since she'd last sat here, holding Judy and looking up at Daryl as they talked. Would it ever be like that again? Were there people planning to take the prison to avenge the Governor right now? Would Daryl ever walk again? Would he survive being in a wheelchair for the rest of his life if he didn't? Somehow she doubted it. There'd been a growing desperation in his eyes every morning when he woke up and found that he hadn't healed during the night.

She drew her knees to her chest and rested her forehead on them.

"Songbird?"

She glanced up and squinted into the sun.

"Hi Greg. What's up?"

"Nothing."

Greg sat down beside her and silence fell between them. Then it was suddenly broken by a torrent of words.

"I know Dad's hand shouldn't bother me but it does! I hate it and I don't know what to do about it. It's scary and weird and…" his voice dropped in shame, "kind of gross. And I talked to Emma and she said it won't look like that forever but it's still gone forever and I…."

He trailed off looking shocked when Songbird simply nodded.

"You aren't mad?"

"Why would I be? I understand why you're scared and I agree that it's kind of gross right now; I wish we had a good plastic surgeon in addition to our vet."

She gave Greg a half smile and he nodded seriously.

"Are you worried about Daryl?" he asked.

Songbird thought for a long moment before answering.

"Yes."

Another silence stretched while Greg waited for the rest of the story.

"I've never worried about him before," she said finally. "He's always been so sure of himself. Even during attacks I knew he'd keep me safe. When we were apart it never really occurred to me to think that he might have died. I believed he was invincible. And now I don't know what to do. I don't know how to be invincible for him."

Daryl stared up at the underside of the top bunk and thought hard about his left leg. Just a fraction of an inch would be good enough. He bent all of his will toward movement. Nothing.

"Goddamnit," he growled as he smacked the mattress with his fist.

Three nights. Three nights of staring sleepless at the darkness. Three nights of dreaming, once he finally got to sleep, that Songbird needed him and there was nothing he could do. Three nights of helpless growing apprehension. What if this was it?

He could not live like this. He knew he couldn't. But what was there to do? It wasn't like he could go to a specialist.

He couldn't even stand to see anyone, or rather he couldn't stand anyone else seeing him. He didn't want to see pity in their eyes or him them telling him that's it would be okay when they didn't know jack shit. He'd have banned Songbird if he thought she'd go.

Daryl ran his hands through his hair and tried again. Still nothing. Helpless. What the hell would he do if a Walker came in right now? Fuckin' get eaten that's what. Fear coursed through him at the thought. Real fear, the kind he hadn't felt since the first time he saw a Walker.

He thought back to that to avoid the depression that was doing its best to sink its teeth into his soul.

"_Sick to fuckin' death of the goddamn news," Merle said in irritation as he turned it off and threw the remote onto the couch._

"_Still talkin' about that virus?" Daryl asked from the kitchen._

"_Nothin' but the damn virus," his brother answered. "How bad can it be?"_

_Daryl shrugged but when Merle had gone into the bathroom he flipped the television back on and lowered the volume so Merle wouldn't hassle him about it. A very worried newscaster said, "We repeat, police are asking that you stay in your homes. Report any contact with those who appear to be infected by calling your local police department or emergency number. If it's busy please continue to try."_

_Busy? Daryl stared in shock at the screen. Since when was 911 ever busy?_

"_Once again, signs of infection are high fevers, delusions and…" she seemed to be having trouble getting the words out. "Attempts to bite or scratch uninfected people."_

"_The fuck?" Daryl whispered._

_He heard a siren a few streets over and looked out the front window of the trailer. __He could hear his neighbors talking. Someone was packing up a car. Where the hell did they think they were headed? News said it was everywhere, spreading through America like wildfire. Catchy name, they'd been usin' it the whole day._

_The siren got closer. Was it headed there? Shouts and screams came from up the street. Merle came back into the room._

"_What's goin' on?"_

_For the first time, Daryl heard fear in his big brothers voice. It sent an answering shiver of it down his spine._

"_Don't know."_

"_Go get that bow of yours," Merle said as he stepped over and grabbed his rifle. "Never know."_

"_Yeah," Daryl agreed. _

_He walked to his bedroom and pulled Mary Jane down. He grabbed the bolts and cocked the bow. The screams grew more panicked. He heard someone gun their engine. The siren was earsplitting now._

"_Merle?" he called over it as he went back into the living room._

"_Out here," Merle answered from the front porch. "Look at this shit."_

_The street was in an obvious state of panic. Jane Parker was yelling at an EMT to "Move your fucking ambulance you asshole! You're blockin' me in!"_

"_Ma'm you're going to have to calm down," he answered back. "We're—"_

"_Goin' to get us killed!" she interrupted shrilly. "Let us out!"_

_He turned away in response to another scream further up the street._

"_Val?" he called._

"_Oh my God!" A woman in an EMT outfit came running back, blood dripping down her arm. "Oh my God, it's the whole house! He…God Gary, he bit me!"_

_Gary stepped back involuntarily._

"_She just say somebody bit her?" Merle asked._

"_That's what the news says happens," Daryl answered. "Say to stay the hell away from anybody got a high fever. Says they bite and scratch."_

"_Hell, sounds like rabies," Merle said. "That EMT guy's about to shit his pants."_

_The guy did look terrified. He was keeping Val at arm's length and speaking into the dispatch, saying he needed the cops. Jane Parker was screaming even more hysterically for the ambulance to be moved. She had her kids in the back and half her house piled on top of her ragged old car. The kids were crying._

_Daryl stepped off the porch._

"_Where the hell you goin'?" Merle asked._

"_Get that ambulance moved," Daryl answered. "Sick of hearin' her screamin'."_

_Merle snorted and shook his head._

"_Fuckin' soft touch."_

"_Screw you."_

"_Screw you twice little brother."_

_He ignored Merle and walked over._

"_Daryl!" Jane said. "Thank God! Daryl, see if you can—"_

"_Yeah I'm gonna."_

_He tapped the EMT on the shoulder and said, "Listen, you move it or I will."_

_It might have been his tone, but it was more likely the cocked crossbow and Daryl's perfectly at ease grip on it that motivated the man to move up slightly._

_Jane gave Daryl a nod and got into her car._

"_Good luck," he called._

"_You and Merle oughta be goin' too," she called back from her car. "It's gonna go to shit around here."_

"_Can't go somewhere you're already at," Daryl answered._

_A slight smile passed over her face and she waved as she gunned the motor and drove out of sight. Daryl was turning to go back to the porch when he heard Val screaming._

"_That's him! The one that bit me! Do something!"_

_Daryl was shocked to discover that she was looking at him. What the hell did she think he could do? A man, old man Williams from three trailers down, was hobbling toward them. Fuckin' hobbling! What the fuck?_

"_He's infected!" Val shrieked. "He's going to—"_

_Her words were cut off when old man Williams lunged at her, teeth bared, and took her down to the pavement. Gary, the other EMT, lost his nerve completely. Tires squealed as he took off._

"_Hey!" Daryl yelled. "Hey! What the fuck?!"_

_He suddenly realized Val had stopped screaming. The world tilted under Daryl's feet as he realized that old man Williams had ripped out her throat and was currently feasting on her._

"_Holy God," he whispered._

"_Get your ass back up here!" Merle bellowed as he gestured up the street._

_The rest of the Williams family was coming down the street with that same hobbling shuffle. Daryl felt frozen, finally understanding how deer felt when he leveled his bow at them. His boots seemed to be glued to the pavement. He felt sick and dizzy. His mind simply could not wrap itself around what was going on. _

_A hand around his leg, clawing ineffectively at the thick denim he wore to work brought him back to the present. Old man Williams had him by the leg. Blood splattered over Daryl as Merle's shotgun went off. The grip didn't change, even though there was now a huge hole in Williams' stomach._

_Daryl swung the crossbow up and shot straight down into Williams' skull. The grip released abruptly._

"_Move your ass!" Merle bellowed again._

_Daryl noticed that the other Williams' had turned toward his trailer. Toward his brother._

"_Headshots!" Daryl yelled back. "I think it's gotta be headshots!"_

_Merle raised the rife and plugged what had been Mrs. Williams in the gut. She shuffled on. He plugged her in the head and she dropped._

"_Sounds right. Get movin'!" he yelled at Daryl as he dropped the rest of the family._

_The little girl. Daryl tried not to remember Mary Williams as a sweet kid who'd waved at him when he got the mail if she happened to be outside. He tried not to remember Billy Williams as the sulky teenager who envied his Mustang. If they'd had the __chance, they'd eat him the way their father had eaten that EMT._

_The street had gone quiet, as it always did when there were gunshots. Daryl ran up the concrete block steps and Merle shoved him into the house and followed. He locked the door and leaned against it._

"_You got blood on you," Merle said after a moment._

"_Yeah," Daryl answered as he looked down at himself. "Holy shit Merle. He was eatin' that EMT."_

"_I saw," Merle said. "I'd cock that bow again if I was you. Then I think we need to get the hell outta here."_

"_Go where?" Daryl asked. "News says it's everywhere."_

"_Turn the TV back on," Merle said. "I'm gonna do some packin'."_

_The same panicked announcer was still on; Daryl thought it was going to be the same old thing but she mentioned shelters in Atlanta._

"_Atlanta?" Merle repeated when he was done packing. "Guess it's as good a place as any. You gonna be all right?"_

"_Fuck yeah."_

"_You was awful still out there—"_

"_Shut the fuck up. I'm gonna pack some stuff."_

_Merle shook his head when Daryl came out with egg crate foam, sheets and pillows._

"_If we gotta sleep in the truck you're gonna be thankin' me."_

"_Whatever. You ready?"_

_The noise level had ratcheted up in the street again. People had gathered around the bodies of the Williams family and the EMT. A cop had showed up, but he wasn't doing much more than standing there trying to get the pandemonium quiet. Daryl heard Merle's name mentioned a few times. It was half past time to get the fuck outta there._

"_Yeah," he answered._

_They loaded the truck and Daryl glanced over at the EMT's crumpled body in the street. His heart jumped into his throat when she slowly pushed herself upright. The people near her jerked back in shock. The cop stared._

"_Merle," Daryl said. "Merle, they come back from the dead."_

"_The fuck?"_

_Merle turned and watched the woman stand up. Her throat was gone; she wasn't breathing. But she was sure as fuck reaching toward one of the women near her. He was still staring when a crossbow bolt lodged itself between her eyes and she fell once again._

_Daryl strode over and yanked it free._

"_Gotta be headshots," he said to the crowd. He glanced at the cop as he finished, "Ya'll oughta remember that."_

Remembering it, Daryl sort of smiled. It had been a nice badass moment, throwaway line and all. The smile faded as he looked down at himself. That was what his life was about. That was what he'd never be able to do again. What was the point of living?

The fact that the thought of not living anymore slipped so easily into his mind was the most frightening thing of all. He couldn't do it with the crossbow, but his knife was in reach on the table. The fear would stop. The dreams would stop. His uselessness would stop. He reached out as his heartbeat sped up, fear and a strange relief flooding his body with adrenaline.

"Hey, what do you need?"

"Uh, nothin'," he answered Songbird. "Water."

"I'll get it."

"Thanks."

He drank slowly, unsure if he was relieved or disappointed. Songbird chattered as she poured herself a cup of water. He had no idea what she was talking about and he didn't give much of a damn either. He felt himself getting angrier and angrier the more she talked.

"Hey," he cut in. "Why don't you go do somethin'?"

"I don't have anything to do right now," she said in surprise.

"Fuckin' find somethin'," he said. "Bad enough that I'm stuck here, don't mean you have to be here too."

Hurt filled her dark eyes but it didn't penetrate his anger. He stared back at her impassively. She put her cup down and walked out. His gaze went back to the knife. She'd moved it when she poured the water and it was out of reach now. His anger exploded.

"Motherfucker!" he bellowed as he punched the wall. He yelled again when he felt his knuckle crack. He bit back the next yell because he knew that if he didn't stop now he might not be able to. His breathing turned ragged as he dug his nails into his palms. "Not like this," he whispered roughly, not sure if he was praying or begging. "I don't want to live like this."

A/N: In honor of a fast approaching Halloween, I decided to go back in time for a good old fashioned Walker attack. I hope you all enjoy and I hope that you have a happy Halloween! I'm dressing up as a zombie. Just because I can! Bwahahahahahaha


	89. Chapter 86

Songbird wandered through the prison feeling hurt and lost. She heard Emma and Freddy talking in low voices in Emma's room but she didn't want to barge in on them. She thought about tracking down Brad. Or maybe she should go find Andrea and see how Lily was doing. But then she'd have to see Lily and she knew that the girl had good reason to hate her.

"Hey there," a voice said from her right.

"Hey Dale."

She hadn't talked to him much since she got back since Lily lived with him and Andrea, but they weren't there today and she went into the room when he beckoned.

"Are you all right?" he asked before she could ask him the same thing.

"Sure," she answered. She wasn't the one missing a foot. "How about you?"

"Doing fine," he answered. "Now why don't we try this again and you be honest with me?"

She felt her face flush and she looked down.

"How do you deal with it?" she blurted out, desperate for answers that might help Daryl. "Your foot? Does it-"

"It's not fun," Dale cut in when her voice went high pitched. "But it doesn't compare to what Daryl's going through. I can still get around with my crutch."

"I know," she admitted. "I know it'd different. But he could get around too if he'd just use the wheelchair."

Dale nodded and said, "But he won't. Will he?"

"No. He says he doesn't want anyone to see him like that. I don't know what to do."

"Just give him time," Dale began.

"I don't think that's going to help. He's getting better, but he's getting worse at the same time. I can tell."

Dale thought about Daryl. In almost all of Dale's memories of the other man he was in motion. Standing, walking, running, pacing...had he ever even seen him sitting down? He imagined Daryl must be going a little crazy right now.

"I'm worried about him," Songbird admitted, unwittingly echoing Dale's thoughts. "If he can't live with this... like he says... what's the alternative?"

She practically tiptoed in that night, but Daryl barely acknowledged her presence.

"Please don't be angry with me," she whispered into the darkness.

"Who says I'm mad at you?" he snapped.

"Please," she whispered again. "Daryl, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help-"

"Nothin' you can do," he cut in. "Ain't no sense in pretendin' you can fix it 'cause you can't. Go to sleep."

He felt her body shudder as she tried not to cry. He wanted to put his arms around her. He wanted to comfort her and tell her he was sorry. He wanted to kiss her and...another thing he'd lost suddenly occurred to him and a new wave of anger and despair drowned his charitable impulses. So much for that baby they were supposed to try for. It was hard to breathe suddenly. His next breath was more ragged than he'd meant for it to be.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

No. He didn't say it out loud though. Robbed of even the ability to roll over and put his back to her, he crossed his arms and stared up at the upper bunk without answering.

Songbird held out as long as she could and then she rolled over and pressed her face against his rigid body. His muscles went even more tense and she knew that if he could have, he'd have gone and slept in the other bed. Of course, if he could have simply gotten up he probably wouldn't be feeling this way. Tears slipped down her cheeks and soaked into his shirt. Her arm throbbed with pain and she was afraid to go to sleep. The Governor haunted her dreams.

"What the fuck are you cryin' for?" Daryl asked.

"I'm sorry."

He relented. He needed to hold her as much as she obviously needed to be held. He wrapped his arm around her and let her snuggle in. Her tears turned to body shaking sobs.

"Fuck. This is supposed to make you feel better."

She clamped her lips together and held her breath, willing herself not to sob again. Daryl was holding her at least. Maybe this would make it better.

It didn't. The dream started the same way.

_The Governor was chasing her and no matter how fast she ran he was always within arms reach. He grabbed her and swung her around. She wanted to fight but she couldn't. She was paralyzed as he knocked her to the ground and yanked her jeans down. In the dream the pain was real as he shoved his body inside hers._

_ "Did you think you could run away from me?" he asked leisurely. "Didn't I tell you that you're mine?"_

_ "No, no," she whimpered. "Not anymore."_

_ "Not anymore?" he laughed as he replied. "Always. You'll never be his again."_

_ The change happened slowly as the dream went on in agonizing detail. His skin started to peel back, the flesh of his hands disintegrating until she could feel the bones gripping her body. His eyes went opaque in front of her and the left one started to bleed. It dripped onto her face as he continued to move over her. When she tried to fight her hands merely sank into his rotting skin._

_ "No! No. Please-" she gasped._

"What the-" Daryl asked as her gasps and cries woke him from a fitful slumber.

"I'll do whatever you say! Please! Just don't do this to me anymore. Please just stop!" she begged between sobs.

"It's me!" he said, shaking her quickly. "Songbird it's me. It's just me."

He heard her gasp as she woke up fully. Her whole body was shaking in terror.

"Daryl?" she asked. It was a silly question; she knew his voice as well as she knew her own, but she needed to make sure.

"Yeah," he answered. "Yeah darlin' it's me."

"Daryl," she repeated as she did her best to burrow closer. If she could have she'd have crawled under his skin.

He pulled the blanket up over her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.

"Tell me what's wrong baby," he said softly.

As always his infrequent use of the word baby melted her defenses.

"I can't stop dreaming about the Governor," she admitted.

"You dreamin' about the fights?" he asked.

She took a deep breath and said, "It's more than that."

"What do you mean?"

Maybe it was easier because she knew it was too dark for him to see her face but she found that she could say the words.

"When I was there...he made me...do things with him."

Daryl went cold.

"Things like what?" he asked.

She told him. He stayed still. He stayed silent.

"You're...are you mad at me?" she asked when the short story was over.

"At you?" he asked. "No. I wish you'd kept him alive though."

"What? Why?"

"So I could kill him myself," Daryl answered. He was furious and trying not to show it. He couldn't believe that bastard had touched her like that. He couldn't believe she hadn't told him by now. Of course, with the way he'd been acting toward her... "I'm so sorry darlin'."

"Me too," she admitted. "I wish I could stop dreaming about it."

"Wake me up when you do. I don't sleep much anymore," he told her as he tightened his arm around her.

"Okay. Thank you," she whispered.

He knew that she was thanking him for the hug and not the permission to wake him up and he felt like a dick for being so mean to her earlier. It didn't change the fact that he wasn't sure he wanted to, or even could, live like this, but it did at least show him that she still needed him for something.

When they woke up the next morning Songbird asked once again if he'd like to go down with her to breakfast and he once again shook his head.

"Daryl come on, it's just-"

"Said no," he repeated. "Not like this."

She sighed and walked out of the room. Breakfast was quiet and she tossed Michelangelo a biscuit as she walked past. He was sitting with Lily who, unlike the other kids who'd met him, loved him from the first. He gave Songbird a doggy grin of thanks and walked over for a quick pat on the head before going back to sit by Lily in his his new role of self appointed therapy dog.

She sat down near Lori and ran her fingers down Judy's cheek.

"Has she been sleeping better?" Songbird asked.

"A little," Lori answered. "Want to hold her?"

"Sure." Songbird took the little girl and was pleased when Judy gave her a smile. "Hey cutie."

As she gently bounced Judy a thought occurred to her. If Daryl couldn't...then there wouldn't be a baby even if they got back to the compound. Ever. The pang in her heart caused tears to come to her eyes.

"Are you all right?" Maggie asked from across the table.

"Me? Yeah sure," Songbird answered, forcing some cheer into her voice as she avoided looking at Maggie. Maggie wasn't eating breakfast and Songbird knew it was because of morning sickness.

Judy reached up for Songbird's biscuit and Songbird laughed, grateful for a distraction. She didn't want to make Maggie or Lori feel bad and she certainly didn't want to add to Daryl's pain so she resolved not to say anything about the situation. Maybe Maggie would let her babysit the way Lori did. If Maggie and Glenn stayed. She could feel the situation coming to a head, she just didn't know what to do about it.

Daryl was lying there, ignoring the biscuit Songbird had brought up because he was sick and damn tired of biscuits, thinking about what to do. He wanted to know what was going on outside of his room but he couldn't bring himself to let other people see him looking so weak. Maybe he'd just spend the rest of his life in here. God that was depressing.

"Stop bein' a pussy," he ordered himself in a low voice, as if speaking out loud would help.

The door opened and he cut off his next sentence. He didn't want Songbird catching him talking to himself. It wasn't Songbird though. It was Brad and Dale.

"What the fuck are ya'll doin' here?" he snarled.

"We came for a chat," Dale said comfortably as he maneuvered over and sat on the other bunk. He propped the crutch against the wall as Brad sat down next to him.

"I don't fuckin' want to chat."

Neither of them acted like he'd said anything which was infuriating.

"Didn't you-" he began.

"How are you feeling?" Brad cut in.

"Goddamn peachy. Seriously-"

"My hand, well my wrist, is killing me," Brad went on. "And sometimes I swear that my hand itches."

"Same with my foot," Dale agreed. "It's called phantom sensation."

Daryl didn't know what to do. He propped himself up onto his elbows and stared at the two of them.

"Want to sit up?" Brad asked when he saw Daryl move. "I can help you."

"No. I don't want help," Daryl snarled.

Anger and irritation were enough to make him push himself into a sitting position and then lean against the wall for support.

"So what do ya'll think you're doin' in here?" he asked again, determined to have an answer. "Wantin' to form some kinda disabled mens club?"

Dale chuckled. Brad shrugged. Daryl sighed.

"Take the fuckin' hint and get the hell out," he said bluntly.

"No," Dale said just as bluntly. "I know you Daryl. I know how you must be feeling-"

"You got no clue old man," Daryl cut in.

"Really? So you're not feeling helpless? Not feeling useless? Not thinking about just ending it all because you don't want to be a burden to Songbird...to all of us?"

Daryl's lips parted but no words came out. How had Dale figured that out?

Brad gave a half smile and said, "That's what happens when your wife teaches psychology."

"That was helpful," Dale admitted. "But it also helps that I know you. I know what kind of man you are."

Daryl didn't say anything. He leaned his head back and sighed again. It was bad enough that they had to see him when he couldn't move, now they knew that he wanted nothing more than to pussy out and end it all.

"My daughter's worried about you," Brad said.

"The professional one or the other one?"

"Both. But mostly Songbird. You can't hide from everyone. Things are changing out there and you need to figure out what you want to do."

"What do you mean things are changin'?"

"It's one of those word of mouth things," Brad went on. "But Emma told me that Songbird told her that Rick wants to leave."

"Leave?" Daryl repeated.

Brad explained.

"Huh," Daryl grunted. "Makes sense. 'Bout the riot gear I mean. Why didn't Songbird tell me any of this?"

"She didn't want to make you feel worse," Dale answered. "You can't do anything about any of it from in here can you?"

Daryl went hot with indignation and he opened his mouth to tell Dale that he damn well didn't have to stay in his cell when a thought occurred to him.

"You sneaky motherfucker," he said in admiration.

Dale laughed and pushed the wheelchair over with his remaining foot.

"We've all got to make sacrifices to our dignity," he said. "How do you think I like being down to one leg? I'm one of the oldest people in the group and now I'm crippled. In a different situation, with a different group...like the one in Woodbury, this would have been my death sentence."

Daryl nodded slowly. He hadn't thought of it the way Dale put it. He didn't think less of Dale because he needed that crutch; he'd thought more of him for standing up and not being any less productive. And now he was laying in a room refusing to see people. Hypocrisy sucked.

"Want some help?" Brad asked again.

Daryl cleared his throat and looked down as he said, "Yeah."


	90. Chapter 87

Daryl wished there had been a less conspicuous way to do what he wanted to do, but luck hadn't exactly been on his side lately. He'd hoped to find her alone somewhere like she often was but of course Songbird was in the gym babysitting...along with about half of the rest of the group. He stopped outside the door and took a deep breath, feeling ridiculous and nervous and then nodded at Brad who pushed the door open for him.

He saw Songbird glance up from the card game she was playing with Greg and he couldn't help but smile when he saw her mouth drop open. He concentrated on her; he wanted to pretend that nobody else in the room had noticed him. It was easier that way. All the emotions that crossed her face made for a good distraction. The initial shock turned into amazement and then that blended into happiness and then—oh fuck was she going to cry? No she was holding it together- pride shone from her eyes as she handed Judy to Greg and walked toward Daryl.

"Hey darlin'," he said, aiming for casual.

"Hey," she answered with a quaver in her voice. Then she took a deep breath and said, "Want to play cards?"

"Sure."

He wheeled his way over and she dealt him into the game. Daryl learned that day exactly how well these people knew him. Nobody in the room asked him anything about how he was doing or how he felt. Other than a passing punch in the shoulder and a low voiced, "Good to have you back." from Glenn no one even acted like he'd been gone. It was wonderful.

"So where's Rick at?" he asked after the game had ended.

"I'm not sure. Why?" Songbird asked.

"Need to talk to him."

"We can go look-" she began, but she broke off when the gym door was suddenly flung wide and Lori burst in, wide eyed and panicked.

"Have you seen Shane?" she demanded from the group.

When everyone exchanged confused glances and shrugs she moaned in despair and ran out as suddenly as she'd run in.

"Wait!" Songbird cried as she scrambled to her feet.

Lori didn't. The rest of the group followed Songbird. Daryl's annoyance at not being able to move the way he used to was quickly buried under growing curiosity, but he appreciated the push Glenn gave him anyway.

They followed Lori to the garage where, sure enough, Shane's Jeep was gone. Lori wailed and sank to her knees on the garage floor. Songbird saw a piece of paper in her clenched fist.

"Lori?" she said as she stepped forward. "Did Shane leave you a note?"

Lori nodded wordlessly.

"A note about what?"

Songbird jumped when she heard Rick's voice behind her. Lori flinched when he stepped forward and yanked the note from her hand.

"Lori," he read out loud. "I've been thinking and this is the best way. I told you that I'm not sharing this time around and I meant it. The prison might be Rick's—for now- but Woodbury's going to be mine. I'll come back for you and Judy when it's all settled. I love you, Shane."

Lori stood like a statue, her shocked calm a stark contrast to her husband's barely concealed rage.

"This time around?" Rick asked. "_This time around?_"

"Rick I-"

"And what's this about Judy?" He crushed the letter in his fist as he spat out the question. "Is there something else you need to tell me?"

"No. Yes. I—Not here Rick!"

Rick laughed.

"Hell, I guess they already knew. Isn't that how it worked last time?"

People started to back out of the room. Songbird, who really had known, wanted to leave too but she couldn't. She still had Judy and she didn't know whether to stay or go.

"What did you tell him?"

She was surprised to find the question directed at her.

"Rick, I haven't even spoken to him today," she protested.

"Maybe not today," Rick said. "But I saw you talking to him every day. You must have said something about Woodbury...something that-"

"Yeah," Daryl drawled. "Told him what a good little town it was for runnin' off with somebody else's wife. You know she's dyin' to get back there."

"When did you get here?" Rick asked in surprise.

"Been here the whole damn time! Figured I'd be easier to spot sittin' in this damn thing." Daryl saw an opportunity to diffuse the situation and went with it. "Look—ya'll got some talkin' to do. Why don't you let us keep Judy while you work it out? Might be a good time to work on them plans for leavin' too. If you're still plannin' to do that."

Songbird saw an expression of shame cross Rick's face briefly as he looked at Daryl in the wheelchair.

"I want to go," Lori said hurriedly. "I never knew about this Rick; I swear I never knew!"

"We'll pick Judy up in the morning," Rick said, ignoring Lori's statement. "If you don't mind."

"No," Songbird said quickly, desperate not to add anymore trouble. "It's fine. If you want her before that you know where to find us."

They walked out, leaving Rick and Lori facing each other in silence.

"Do you think we should have said something?" Songbird whispered once they were a safe distance up the hall.

"No," Daryl said. "Wouldn't have done no good. Rick's fuckin' hard headed. Shoulda left her before if you ask me. Or shouldn't have gone back in the first place."

She shrugged and sighed.

"Either way, me and you need to talk," he went on.

"Okay."

They went back to their room and Songbird put Judy down for her nap on the free lower bunk.

"That kid is an angel," Songbird said when the baby drifted right off.

Daryl didn't answer, but she caught that look that flashed over his features. It was a look that said he'd already realized what had just crossed her mind at breakfast...and that he regretted it. She walked over and he pulled her into his lap. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"So this leavin' thing," Daryl said. "Why don't you tell me what you know?"

"It's just a feeling I have," she answered. "Rick's worried about the riot gear...and now this with Shane. I don't...I didn't think I said anything that would make him-"

"Don't," Daryl interrupted. "Don't start that. What did he ask you?"

"Just general stuff. About the gates in the town, about the parts of the Governor's base that he didn't get to see. About the people. I should have known. But I didn't think that he'd ever want to go back to that place. I don't see how anyone would want to go back there."

Daryl felt her shiver against his chest.

"And we know he's comin' back," he went on. "We know he wants Lori...and the kid."

"Yeah. And we know she doesn't want to go."

"Or do you reckon she just said that to try and get back on Rick's good side?"

Songbird chewed her lip in deep thought and finally shook her head.

"I don't think so. Lori's just...I think that, in a way, she's in love with both of them. Maybe it's one of those two sides of the same coin things."

"Or she's just a whore."

Songbird's face flushed and she shrugged.

"What?" 

"Well...I feel bad judging her like that. I sort of...with you and Freddy. I never really loved him though. But sometimes I'm not exactly sure that she loves Shane. I think it's more about him wanting her. Just her."

"Rick only wants her," Daryl argued. "He ain't been with anybody else since..."

"Lucky. Rick loved Lucky. He only went back to Lori because he lost her. And even before that, it always drove her crazy when he did stuff to keep the group safe. Rick thinks about all of us—usually- and Shane thinks about her. That's nice sometimes and it makes her feel safe."

"Guess I can see that. But what the fuck is he thinkin' doin' this shit? Back to Woodbury? What's he gonna do? Just waltz in and say Hey ya'll, I'm in charge now?"

"He might be able to," Songbird said. "They've been under the Governor's thumb for so long that it probably feels more natural to be led. You saw the place."

"I was more worried about findin' you," Daryl answered. "Didn't really take the time to notice anybody else...unless they got in my way."

"It was badass, the way you came through that door," she said reminiscently.

"Thanks." Suddenly he remembered something else that she hadn't talked about. "How's your arm?"

She tugged her sleeve down to her fingertips in response to his question and said, "Okay I guess."

"Bullshit. Let me see."

She didn't want to but she knew he wouldn't leave it alone until she did, so she pulled her sleeve up. He winced at the sight of the wounds. They were still red and they looked like they hurt like hell. The design was...well, as sick as it sounded the design was nice. The skin had been peeled away in long ribbons that circled their way up her arm, crossing over each other like those ballet shoes that dancers laced up their legs. She slipped her arm out of the sleeve so he could see the rest. On her bicep a bird had been carved into her skin to anchor the ribbons that climbed her arm. The bird was delicate and pretty...or at least it would be once it healed.

"Must have took a while," he said, tracing the unbroken skin with his index finger.

She nodded. She didn't want to say anything that might make him stop touching her. Daryl was rarely gentle and he hadn't really touched her since he'd woken up. It was comforting and so relaxing that she wanted to drop off to sleep.

"I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner," he admitted.

"I'm sorry you got hurt. I tried so hard to make sure that no one would get hurt and I screwed it all up. Brad lost his hand and you-"

"I know. I know you did everything you could to work this out for everybody. You can't fix everything."

"Somebody has to," she said.

Daryl didn't really get a chance to answer that because there was a knock at the iron bars.

"Come in," Songbird called softly after she'd covered her arm up again.

"Hey," Emma answered. "Sorry to break up the party, but Daryl has to go to bed."

"The hell I do," he said in surprise. "I just got up!"

"And you've been up long enough for your first day," Emma said firmly. "I brought Herschel to back me up."

Daryl gave her a wry smile.

"You really think I got that much fight left in me?"

"Um...yeah," she answered as if it should've been obvious. "But it's really more to help me get you into bed. And you need to get out of those clothes."

"Say what?"

He stared at her in disbelief. It had been bad enough having Brad and Dale help him get into his jeans. Now his sister in law wanted to take him out of them?

"Oh relax, it's not like I haven't seen it before."

"What?" That was Songbird. Daryl was speechless by the point.

"When we did the surgery we had to cut his jeans off. Besides you've seen Freddy's."

Daryl still couldn't think of anything to say. What the fuck? Was this some kind of competitive dick viewing?

Songbird shrugged and stood up. She could have argued the point by saying Emma hadn't seen Freddy's yet but that would take her into uncomfortable baby-sister territory.

"Let Songbird do it," Daryl said suddenly, seeing some hope. "She's got years of experience with my jeans."

Songbird laughed. Emma sighed and said, "Fine."

She and Herschel maneuvered him back onto the bed and then turned their backs to allow Songbird the privilege of sliding down his jeans and arranging the sheets to cover what he referred to as "the essentials."

"Are you sure you don't want Dr. Cooper to take a look?" Herschel asked as he bent closer to examine Daryl's stitches.

"Nah," he said. "Don't even know him. Besides I'm sort of used to you patchin' me up."

"I don't think you can one up this one," Herschel said. "Any feeling here?"

"This better not have nothin' to do with me havin' to take off my pants," Daryl said with a glance down.

Herschel was tapping his left leg.

"No," he answered. "Nothin'."

"Don't get out of this bed for the rest of the day," Herschel said firmly. "That hole is still healing and since you can't feel it you're a lot more likely to hurt yourself."

Daryl nodded grudgingly. Songbird sat down beside him.

"What do you think's going to happen?" he asked, getting back to the matter at hand.

"I don't know," Songbird answered. "Have either of you heard any rumors?"

"I don't know if it counts as a rumor," Emma said. "But Freddy wants to leave."

"Freddy?" Daryl repeated. "Really?"

"Yeah. He says he's been away too long. He's getting nervous about his house. And...I think he's homesick," Emma finished.

Songbird nodded slowly, remembering Freddy's desire to go back home when it wasn't working between her and Daryl anymore. He'd had to wait a long time.

"And if he goes, you'll go," she mused aloud.

Emma didn't answer, but no one in the room really thought she needed to. Daryl looked at Herschel.

"I don't plan to go anywhere," he said easily. "And you certainly aren't going to be up for travel for quite some time. Get some rest."

"That advice?"

"That's a doctor's order," Herschel clarified as he and Emma walked out of the room.

"Almost forty and I'm takin' a fuckin' nap," Daryl grumbled.

"Hey, some of us aren't so lucky," Songbird said with a smile.

"Just 'cause I gotta lay here don't mean I gotta lay here by myself," he protested as he pulled her down beside him.

She snuggled up against him and, even though it was the middle of the day, she fell asleep pretty quickly. For the first time since she'd come back, she didn't dream of the Governor.

Daryl woke up when he heard a baby's cry. Songbird pressed her face against his shoulder and murmured in her sleep.

"Sorry darlin' but it's pretty much your turn," he said wryly as he shook her shoulder.

"Okay, okay." She sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Coming Judy."

She picked Judy up and walked toward the kitchen. Carl jumped guiltily but clumsily away from his parents door when he heard her footsteps. If he hadn't been on crutches he might have made a clean get away.

"Hey," Songbird said. "Why don't you give me a hand?"

"Sure," he muttered.

"I'm not going to tell on you," Songbird said when they got to the kitchen.

"Really?"

She shrugged and said, "Hearing them argue is probably punishment enough."

"Mom says she wants to leave," Carl said from the chair Songbird had pulled up for him while they waited for the bottle to heat. "Dad says he has unfinished business but that he wants her to go."

Songbird didn't answer; she didn't really know what to say.

"I don't want Dad to stay here alone," Carl admitted. "And...and I heard Mom say that she thinks that Judy...that she isn't really Dad's." He looked down at his baby sister and then glanced at Songbird.

"Listen to me Carl," she said seriously. "Blood has nothing to do with family. Look at Daryl and Merle. My sister River and I didn't even have one parent in common and losing her nearly killed me. We shared a life together and the fact that we didn't share genes didn't have anything to do with it. Judy is your sister no matter who her father is."

"I know," Carl said. "I still...you know...love her and all. It's just weird you know?"

"I do know," she answered. "The whole thing is a little weird right now."

She tested the temperature of the bottle on the inside of her wrist and handed it to Carl. He shifted Judy and began feeding her.

"Shane didn't say anything to me about this," Carl said after making sure Judy was drinking. "He didn't really talk to me much after Mom and Dad got back together. Did he really go to Woodbury?"

"That's what the note said. I don't know why anyone would go back there."

"Does it scare you?"

"Yes."

Carl stared at her.

"I didn't think anything scared you anymore."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know..." he looked down, embarrassed. "You've...you're different than you were at first. You're...a grown up."

Songbird didn't know what to say. It was true that it was close to summer. She'd be twenty. But she hadn't really thought of herself as a "grown up."

"Well..." she said into the awkward silence. "You're getting there yourself. And...um...thanks."

"How's Daryl?" Carl asked.

"Doing better," she answered. "Why don't you come back with us? Daryl would like to see you and I'll invite Greg in and we'll play cards. You missed the games this morning."

"Okay, sure," Carl said. "It's better than standing around listening to Mom and Dad fight."

Greg and Carl ended up sleeping over; Carl curled up on the bottom bunk with Judy, while Greg took the top bunk. Daryl lay awake listening to the two of them chatter in what they thought were hushed tones. He and Merle had done that when they were kids. He laughed to himself when he remembered Merle and the top bunk.

"What's funny?" Songbird whispered.

"Thinkin' about Merle," Daryl answered. "When I was about eight we got bunk beds and he got the top bunk..."

_"It's not fair!" Daryl said firmly. "You always get everything."_

_ "It's 'cause I'm the oldest, shithead."_

_ "Don't call me that!"_

_ "What're you gonna do? Tell on me?" Merle smirked and climbed up._

_ Daryl frowned and flopped onto the lower bunk. How could he tell? Grandpa Bo was already gone for the night and their dad hadn't come home from work._

_ "Night, baby brother."_

_ "Good night, shithead."_

_ Merle laughed. "There's hope for you yet."_

_ Daryl woke up first; he always woke up before Merle. The trailer was quiet, so his dad hadn't made it back that night at all. Daryl couldn't help but hope that the trend would continue. __He yawned and rolled out of his new bed. It was pretty comfortable. He started to get dressed. Merle muttered sleepily and sat up. What happened next made Daryl laugh harder than he had in a long time. Merle couldn't sleep without the ceiling fan on and trailer ceilings are pretty low. The blade caught him right in the back of the head and slung him nearly off the bed._

_ "Motherfucker!" Merle yelled as he rubbed his head. "What the-"_

_ He sat up. It happened again. Daryl howled with laughter._

_ "Turn it off!" Merle said, ducking low._

_ After a long wait, Daryl did._

"He let me have the top bunk after that," Daryl said. "Had to kinda tuck and roll to get outta bed, but it was worth it."

"I like it when you tell me stories," Songbird said a little shyly.

"Hell, I could tell you lots more about me and Merle when we were kids," Daryl said. "But I like your stories better."

"I'll have to think of some new ones then."

"Yeah do that. Might help to pass the time."

"Daryl?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you got up."

"Thanks darlin'."

A/N: If anyone has any suggestions for a Songbird story feel free to PM me or leave them in the suggestions...I want to do a few more, but I'm also doing nanowrimo this month and I'm a little...uh...unfocused right now lol. If you give me a suggestion that I use I'll give you proper credit and everything too so I won't be just straight up stealing your idea :)


	91. Chapter 88

1.

"We need to talk," Rick said bluntly late the next afternoon. "I'm gathering everybody in the gym."

He left before anyone in the room could answer back. Songbird saw Daryl move to get out of bed and scowl in frustration when he couldn't.

"You guys go on down," she said to Greg, Carl, and Michelangelo. "Greg, would you carry Judy please?"

The boys filed out, Greg walking slowly to keep pace with Carl and Michelangelo leading the way. Songbird managed to help Daryl up and into the wheelchair and then they headed down to the gym as well.

"What do you think-" she began but Daryl only shook his head.

"No way to know till we're there. Don't get ahead of yourself."

"You're no fun."

They were the last people to arrive, but no one was talking. Rick was leaning against the wall near the door. The others were sitting in the motley collection of chairs people had dragged in for one reason or the other over their time there. Lori wasn't looking at anyone; Greg was still holding Judy. Daryl "parked" the chair and Songbird sat down in his lap. Rick pushed away from the wall.

"Is there anyone who doesn't know about Shane's note?" he asked.

No one said anything. Most of them had been there. Those who hadn't had been informed by those who had. It was the curse of living in a fishbowl.

"So you know he said that the prison is mine "for now." I think that means that it's high time we headed out."

"Out where?" Axle asked. "It's not like there's a prison every few miles you follow me?"

"There's my house," Freddy said. "We've talked a little about it before," he went on with a nod indicating Rick and Daryl. "I'm heading back there. Whoever wants to come along is more than welcome to follow."

His eyes met Emma's, Emma bit her lip and glanced down. Songbird's eyebrows went up. What was Emma thinking?

"Lori's coming along," Rick said. "And I'd be obliged to you if you'd take Carl and Judy on too."

"What about you?" Carl asked.

"I'm not going yet," Rick answered. "We need to get head count," he said over the general babble that followed his statement. "So we know who's headed out and who isn't."

"Well, you can count me out," Daryl said wryly. "Doctor's orders."

"What about fixing up the bed of your truck?" Glenn asked. "You could lay down the whole time-"

"Uh huh," Daryl drawled. "And what happens if my truck dies along the way?"

Glenn fell silent.

"I always figured I'd head back to the homestead once this calmed down," Herschel said. "I'm still of that opinion."

"But-" Glenn began.

"Let's not start arguing again, son," Herschel said tiredly.

"Get in groups, talk it out." Rick cut in. "How long before you can move, Freddy?"

"I'll stay another three days," Freddy said. "Give everyone time to make a decision and get packed."

Rick nodded and left the room. People separated into their own little units. Lori stayed where she was, her head bowed as talk swirled around her. Andrea, Dale and Lily were talking; Freddy pulled Emma into the corner and spoke quickly to her, but she shook her head and walked back over to Brad and Greg. Maggie and Glenn were speaking in whispers and both were gesturing emphatically. Songbird looked at Daryl.

"Darlin'," he began.

"Don't bother. I'll cut off a foot if I have to, but I'm staying here with you."

Daryl shook his head and said, "Hell, you don't have to do nothin' that fuckin' dramatic."

She felt his arms tighten around her and she knew that, even though she might be safer at the compound, she'd given him the answer he really wanted. Not every couple was having it so easily. A few minutes later Maggie left the room with tears running down her cheeks, leaving Glenn and Herschel staring after her.

"Poor Maggie," she whispered.

"I hope Herschel sees some sense," Daryl said in a low voice. "Ain't too many places safer than Mackensie's house. 'Specially for a baby."

"Songbird? Can I talk to you?" Emma asked as she walked over to them.

"Sure." Songbird wondered what was wrong. Emma was twisting her fingers together and it looked like she was going to chew through her lower lip.

"Alone?"

"Oh. Yeah sure. I'll be back," she made the last sentence a question as she looked over her shoulder at Daryl.

Daryl nodded so she went off up the hall with Emma.

"What's up?"

"I don't know what to do," Emma wailed as she buried her face in her hands.

"Whoa," Songbird said in surprise. "Okay. Okay, just calm down. What do you mean?"

"I don't want to leave you and Daryl here. Not now that he's not going to walk again—"

"Is that a medical opinion or a personal one?" Songbird asked, trying to keep the edge out of her voice.

"I'm sorry," Emma said quickly. "But 20% is a really low-"

"It's 20% better than no chance," Songbird said firmly. "Anyway, go on."

"Freddy wants me to go."

"Obviously. He's in love with you. And it's not like you can call him up whenever you want."

"I know that. And I really, really want to go. But...what if we never met up again? You and me? I just found my big sister...I don't want to lose her so soon."

"I don't want to lose you either. But I can't go...and you can't stay. You'd never forgive yourself if you did."

Emma glanced down and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Emma," Songbird said. "I understand. I won't be mad if you go."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. Besides, you shouldn't count us out yet, Em," Songbird said with a somewhat forced smile. "We'll show up a few weeks behind you guys at the most."

"Sure you will," Emma said with a forced smile of her own as she threw her arms around Songbird.

Songbird hugged her back and took a deep breath before saying, "Come on, let's head back to the gym."

They met Daryl as they went down the hall.

"Party's over," he said. "Emma, your dad was lookin' for you. Mackensie too."

"Okay."

Emma turned and headed back toward the cells.

"Any good gossip?" Songbird asked.

Daryl shrugged.

"Too far away to hear most of it. Wanna get some fresh air?"

"Did Herschel say it was okay?"

"He didn't say I couldn't."

Even though Songbird knew that what Daryl really meant was that he hadn't asked, she accompanied him without probing further. She knew that seeing nothing but the prison walls was making him antsy.

"What was wrong with Emma?" Daryl asked once they were outside.

"Indecision. It's a Phelps curse. Couldn't figure out whether to stay or go."

"Figured she'd head out," Daryl said. "The way she looks at Mackensie."

"Yeah. She's going. She just felt guilty over leaving me."

"Good."

"What?"

"It's dangerous and we both know it. Shane's lost his fuckin' mind. How's he gonna take it when he comes back and Lori's bailed on him? Even if he don't, what's Rick plannin' to do? What about scavengers? What about all the Walkers I can't do nothin' about now?"

She looked at Daryl's profile in the setting sun. He looked back at her.

"And you aren't telling me I have to go," she said.

"Your decision," he answered. "And...I want you with me."

Songbird gave him a smile. "I didn't think you'd admit it."

He shrugged and said, "I still feel like you're safer with me. Even if I can't..."

He let the sentence trail off. She stepped up behind the wheelchair and wrapped her arms around him. He reached up and cupped the back of her neck.

"I don't believe for one second that this is permanent," she said seriously as she kissed the side of his neck.

"Yeah but-"

"No. No buts. Who's the child of a gypsy fortune teller and who's not?"

"You but-"

"Case closed."

"But what if it's not?" Daryl pressed on, determined not to be reassured.

"Then it won't change anything."

"Right."

"You'll just be in a wheelchair. And that sucks Daryl. It sucks hardcore. But I'll still love you and we'll still spend the rest of our lives together."

"Here? In a prison? And what about that baby you were wantin'? And-"

Songbird turned her head and pressed her lips to his. He was surprised. She hadn't kissed him since they'd gotten back from Woodbury. He'd wondered if it was because of what had happened with the Governor...or if she didn't want him anymore. Not that there was much of him left to want. When he felt her start to draw back he realized that the kiss had been a little distracted. And that he didn't want it to end. He held her gently in place and payed a little more attention.

When they broke apart she said, "It's bad enough. Don't make it worse."

He heard her voice break. She was losing everybody. He was finally getting to keep her.

"All right darlin'," he said, brushing her lips with his once more. "And I'm gonna bet on that gypsy fortune teller blood in your veins."

"You can take my predictions to the bank," she informed him as she stood up, wiping her tears away where he couldn't see her. "If there was one."

2.

The next day was a flurry of decision making and packing. Packing was hard; goodbyes were harder. Freddy couldn't meet Songbird's eyes and no matter how hard she tried to corner him, he always got away. Guilt was written sharply over every feature and it didn't need to be. She appreciated the fact that he wanted to take care of her sister and she understood his deep desire to go home. She wanted to get back to the compound too.

She was on her way for yet another attempt to talk with him before heading to bed when Lori intercepted her.

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

"You know Daryl can't leave," Songbird answered. "I-"

"And you're going to be stupid enough to stay."

Songbird took a step backward from the sheer heat of Lori's stare.

"Lori I-"

"Just wait," the woman interrupted. "He hasn't forgiven you for what you did with Freddy."

"Why do you-"

"You'll think that everything's fine and then you'll find yourself shipped off to die along some road because he can't stand the sight of you any more. Then what are you going to do?"

"Daryl forgave me."

Lori snorted and said, "For now. I guess you can wait and see. One day he's going to look at you like Rick looks at me."

"I stopped, Lori. I haven't been with Freddy again."

"So you think you're better than me?"

"I never said that! I know you're upset-"

"You don't know anything!"

Lori spun around and walked away. Songbird gave up on the idea of finding Freddy and headed back to her room.

"So," Daryl said from his prone position when she walked in. "What's the news?"

Herschel had enlisted Dr. Cooper to make sure Daryl got the proper amount of bed rest; the area around his stitches was starting to look a little red and Herschel thought Daryl was overdoing it. Which he was, even if he had yelled emphatically at Herschel that he was not.

"I can't corner Freddy," she answered. "Brad's still iffy on the whole thing, but I think I've got him convinced to head out with Emma and Greg. Greg cried and then that made me want to cry and then Emma teared up. Don't try to pretend you aren't relieved to be stuck here at least sometimes."

"If it means missin' family sob fests then fuck yeah I'm glad. What else?"

"Dale and Andrea decided to go. They think it's better to get Lily as far from Woodbury as possible and I think they're right. It'll get her mind occupied and she won't have to see me everyday."

Songbird looked down when she said that. Of all the things that had happened at Woodbury, killing Lily's mother was the one that she knew would never stop haunting her.

Daryl reached up and tugged her braid, but he didn't mention the guilt on her face.

"So the Phelps family, Mackensie, Andrea, Dale and Lily," he mused. "And the Grimes family-"

"Minus Rick. Carl told Greg that Rick hasn't changed his mind."

Daryl didn't say anything about that either. At least he understood why Rick was doing this. That didn't mean that it wasn't a shitty idea...but Daryl understood it.

"Dr. Cooper asked if he could go."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. He helped the Governor because it was either that or die...but he's afraid that the people left in Woodbury won't see it that way. Especially if Shane works them up."

"So I guess Ashley's a goner too."

Songbird frowned in thought and said, "You know what? I haven't heard."

"Has the Herschel/Maggie/Glenn thing worked itself out?"

"No. But optimistic Glenn is packing up."

"Which is pissing Maggie off," Daryl said.

"How'd you know?" Songbird asked in surprise.

"Dale ain't the only one that understands psychology," Daryl drawled. "Helps that I ain't an idiot too."

"So Maggie and Glenn currently aren't speaking. Herschel is sticking to his guns though, so I guess we won't really know until they leave."

"I think it's crazy," Daryl maintained. "It's just a house."

Songbird shrugged. "I don't know. I kind of see his point. Sometimes I miss the trailer."

"I don't," Daryl said emphatically. Then after a few seconds of silence, "You do? You ain't never said nothin' about it."

"What's the point?" she answered. "It won't get me any closer to it. And I probably wouldn't want to go back even if I could."

"I'd kinda like to get the rest of my stuff," he mused. "If nobody stole it. And they probably did. Scavenging fucks."

"There's that sunny outlook I know and love," she teased.

"Yep. Anything else? You look kinda...off."

"Oh. Lori sort of yelled at me. I don't think it's really me she's mad at...but she was really mad."

"What'd she say?"

"I don't really want to get into it."

"Spit it out," Daryl ordered. What business did Lori have yelling at his girl?

"I think she's just worried about what's happening between her and Rick. She...she said that you're not ever going to forgive me for what happened with Freddy. That one day you're going to leave me."

"Shit. That ain't true darlin'."

"I know. At least I'm pretty sure."

"I'm actually mostly over it," he admitted. "I still...you know...love you and all that. And I know you didn't love him, so I win and he loses and that's good enough for me."

"Oh Daryl." Songbird put both hands over her heart. "You're so romantic."

"Come here."

She went into his arms willingly enough but, even though he'd planned it, he didn't kiss her. She looked a bit disappointed, but she didn't mention it. She simply curled up against him with her face pressed into his neck. He turned his head and caught the smell of her hair. God he wanted her. With that thought to frustrate and depress him, he went to sleep.

The second day brought even more drama. Oddly enough Daryl found himself in the center of it. Limited mobility could do that to a person. As it happened he was in the gym with Carl and Greg. There had been something of an attempt to play basketball. It was not going his way.

"Come on Daryl!" Carl said. "It's not like it can't be done! There are wheelchair leagues!"

"And they're way better than you," Greg threw in.

"Hey!" Daryl pointed at Greg. "We're family. I can kick your ass with no consequences or repercussions."

Carl tossed him the ball in an exaggeratedly gentle fashion. Daryl faked like he was going to throw it right back at his head and in the moment when Carl ducked and Greg laughed, Daryl prayed and threw the ball.

"Boo-yah!" He yelled, spinning the chair in a circle. "Nothin' but net! Eat it you little-"

"What are you calling my little brother?"

"Hey darlin'," he answered. "You didn't hear what they were sayin' to me. Shit talkers both of 'em. And I'm crippled."

She laughed. "Shame on you both then. I'm the bearer of bad news anyway. Greg, Dad wants to see you and Carl rumor has it your mom is looking for you. Something to do with packing."

Both the boys faces fell, but they left without arguing with her. It must have been her new found status as an adult that prompted such obedience. She thought she could get used to it...if they weren't all leaving. She ignored the tightness in her throat.

"So what are we doin' now?" Daryl asked.

"Well we could-"

The gym doors banged open and Glenn came marching in.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked Daryl.

"Yeah sure. Darlin' you mind?"

"No. I'll be...you know...around."

Glenn watched her walk away before he said, "What would you do?"

"About what?"

"Herschel wants to stay. I want to go. I can't shake the feeling that if we don't something is going to go wrong. You know...with the baby. I can't take the chance. But Herschel won't listen to me. And Mags doesn't want to have to choose between us. Not that I'd really leave without her. But she-"

"Calm the fuck down!" Daryl ordered. "So Herschel ain't goin' and you are and Maggie don't know what to do."

"In a nutshell."

"Go get 'em."

"Uh...what?"

"Go get 'em. Get it straightened out. Everyone in one room."

"I could do that tonight. Are you going to stay?"

"You want me to stay?"

"Yes. I know it's stupid. But yeah I do."

"Then go on and round 'em up. Lets get 'er done."


	92. Chapter 89

1.

"What is this, Glenn?" Herschel asked. "Daryl, you should really be-"

"In bed?" Daryl finished. "Fuck that. I'm here to change your mind."

"We've-" Herschel began.

"Yeah I know we been down this road before, but that don't mean I can't go down it again. Glenn's right. Ya'll got to go and there ain't no sense in makin' it harder on your girl just 'cause you got some crazy idea that there's gonna come a time when you don't need the strongest fence you can find between you and all the rest of the world. Don't make this harder'n it has to be."

"I don't see how it affects you," Herschel said in annoyance. "If anything it's better. Another doctor around to patch you up."

"Ain't gotta get personal," Daryl said. "Maggie. You loved Glenn enough to get knocked up. You gonna tell me you don't love him enough to leave with him? Or are you just afraid of breaking it to your old man?"

Herschel looked at Maggie.

"Fuck you Daryl," she hissed. "You don't have to be so-"

"Somebody does. Glenn's in love with you. Herschel loves you too. I don't. So I've got a better view on the whole thing. Ya'll don't have a lotta time. Get your shit together. Get the hell outta here while you can."

With that, he left the room. That had actually been kind of fun. Frustrating as hell, but fun. Kind of like being with Songbird lately. Why had he had to lose feeling from the waist down?

"How'd it go?" she asked when she found him later.

"Have to wait and see. Did my best to get 'em the hell outta our hair," he said lightly. "But I ain't no Dr. Phil."

Songbird leaned down and kissed his cheek.

"You're a good guy Daryl."

"Yeah well, I try."

"Let's go to bed," she suggested. "I guess we'll find out in the morning."

"Sure."

Once they were in bed and she was wrapped around him and sleeping deeply, Daryl sighed. He knew that her leg was thrown over him; he knew that her thigh was pressing on his cock. He just couldn't feel any of it. He wanted to be able to feel it. Not being able to walk was a bitch in the most practical sense, but not being able to fuck was killing him.

He missed being inside her, missed making her shiver in pleasure and tremble with desire. He missed feeling her fingernails dig into his back and her long legs wrap around him. She always wanted more of him in the last moments before she went over the edge. He wanted more of her every minute of everyday so he understood.

Daryl brushed her cheek with the back of his fingers. Her skin was still just as soft, just as smooth as it had been when he'd met her. Almost two years now. It surprised him that they'd made it. Him and this innocent girl. Well, maybe not quite so innocent. She did stuff that he would have sworn that she didn't even know was a thing people could do.

He was torturing himself with memories now, but he didn't care. The first night, when he'd thought he was going to lose her. He'd never _needed_ to kiss someone before, but he'd needed her mouth under his like he needed air that night. He remembered the feel of her hair twined through his fingers, the gasp she'd made against his mouth, the way her tongue had met his so shyly, the way her body had moved to meet his. And then later in the truck when he'd begun kissing her again...those first touches...the first time he'd touched her stomach. It shouldn't have turned him on as much as it did, but it had. Maybe it was the fact that it was obvious that she'd never been touched that way before. Everything had been so new to her that night.

He groaned and tried to stop thinking, but the memories wouldn't cease. The first time they'd fucked, the first time he'd seen the pictures that were still in his truck...

He groaned again.

"What's wrong?" Songbird muttered sleepily.

He tilted her chin up without thinking about it and slanted his mouth over hers. She gave a muffled sound of surprise, but she parted her lips for him eagerly. He felt her fingers tighten in his hair and felt her body move under his hands. He tightened his grip. She felt his muscles clench with the effort to roll over and put her underneath him...which he couldn't do. He felt her reach down...which was pointless. He drew back.

"No!" she gasped. "I'm sorry! I...just...I'm sorry."

"It ain't your fault. It's mine for startin' somethin' I can't finish no more."

She wondered if he was aware that he was shaking. It was probably a combination of frustrated desire and anger. She was shaking too.

"Remember when we first met and we somehow just couldn't manage to have sex?" she asked.

"Yeah, but..."

"This is going to sound crazy, but I liked the frustration of it. I liked waiting and wondering. This will be..."

"Except now you know. This ain't never happenin' again."

"Don't say that. It _will_."

"Go to sleep."

"Kiss me again."

"No. Go to sleep."

He heard her sigh and felt her roll away from him. He felt like shit. She obviously still wanted him. From the way she'd been trembling he'd go so far as to say that she _needed_ him and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

"Changed my mind," he said abruptly. "You oughta-"

"If you say that I should go I'll hurt you," she cut in. "And I'll make sure it's in a place where you can still feel it."

"Yeah but you-"

"What? I still get turned on by you?" She rolled back over to face him. "Damn right I do! Even if I didn't love you...which I do...I'd want you. I've always wanted you! I'll never not want you! And yeah, if you want to be pessimistic about it you can, but even if we never have sex again I will want to be with you till the day I die. You're everything I've ever wanted! The way you are with the kids melts my heart. The way you care about other people, like Glenn and Maggie and Herschel, tells me you're a good man. The way you forgave me for what I did tells me that you love me like no one else ever could. It's more than just amazing sex to me! It's my life that you're asking me to give up!"

Her voice broke and she began to cry.

"Shit. Darlin' come on. Don't cry."

She covered her face with her hands and cried harder. It wasn't just this with Daryl, it was everything. It was getting harder and harder to be optimistic. Her family was leaving and she might never see them again. Shane might actually manage to organize Woodbury and then what would he do to them? She didn't think he was the type to force people to fight to the death or to rape her, but who knew anymore? The Governor probably hadn't started out that way. Maybe he'd started out like Shane. Even worse, what if they managed to get out of here and they found the compound empty? What if Daryl really never did walk again? She'd never have the family she still dreamed of; they'd never leave this prison. His voice broke into her now almost hysterical crying.

"Baby, I'm sorry. You need to stop this. You'll make yourself sick. I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry."

He didn't sound sorry, which was how she knew he really was. His voice always got rougher and extremely brusque when he apologized for real and if anyone else had heard him they would have assumed he was mad at her. She took a deep breath and tried to stop crying. It didn't work, but it slowed her down. He pulled her against him and she heard him sigh, apparently resigned to the fact that this would take awhile.

"I don't really want you to go," he said when her crying had wound down to the occasional hiccup type sob.

"I know."

"So what the hell just happened?"

After a second's worth of hesitation, she told him everything. Everything she was afraid of, how it felt to lose and gain and lose her entire family in a little under two years, how scared she was of Shane and Woodbury. Everything, in short, except how worried she was that he'd never walk again. She'd take that one to her grave.

He didn't say anything in response, he just held her tighter. They both knew there was nothing that could be said; they both knew every single fear was legitimate. Eventually, they fell asleep. For the moment, there was nothing more to say.

2.

The grapevine told her that Daryl had been successful in motivating Herschel. Most of the group didn't have time for chatting. It was the last day. She sat on one of the fire escapes and watched the bustling prison yard. Everyone who was going was packing and helping to load the RV, Brad's Subaru, and Herschel's farm truck. She saw Glenn and Maggie getting the horse trailer hitched up and ready.

Songbird would miss the horses, but she didn't blame them for taking them along. A farm without horses was still ridiculous in her opinion. She saw Freddy and Brad get into T's old truck and drive toward the gate Rick and Axle had forced open. She wasn't worried; Emma had told her that Freddy was planning to head out and look for another vehicle. She didn't say it was yet another way for him to avoid her, but Songbird knew it was. It hurt her feelings, but she couldn't say anything about it. She felt bad that she and Freddy had pretty much literally screwed themselves out of a good friendship. Maybe it would have been different if Freddy hadn't fallen for Songbird's sister, but either way, that awesome easy connection just wasn't there between them anymore. It was too easy to remember how well they'd fit together, how good they'd made each other feel. It would have been better if the sex hadn't been good. She smiled at that. Sitting here wishing for terrible sex just so she could have her friend again.

Lori walked out with a bag and tossed it into the RV. Rick walked past her without speaking or offering to help. That was another hurtful thing; Lori still wouldn't speak to her, and since Lori was avoiding her, she couldn't see Judy. That was breaking her heart. Songbird loved that little girl so much. She wanted to be able to hold her and tell her goodbye, but it looked like Lori wasn't going to let that happen. Even if it hadn't have been for Judy, Songbird would have felt hurt. She had considered Lori a friend of sorts. She didn't believe they would have been friends before this, but she'd thought they'd developed a good relationship over time.

Andrea stepped down out of the RV and Songbird heard her give a light laugh at something Dale said. She watched him move toward her. He was doing well with that crutch. A sudden surge of jealousy washed through her, heating her blood and chilling her palms. Why Dale and not Daryl? She shook her head to get rid of the thought. It was unfair. Dale was a wonderful person and he deserved to walk just as much as the next guy. But so was Daryl. So did Daryl.

Lily walked out into the yard with Carl, Greg, and Michelangelo. Carl was gesturing furiously with the arm that wasn't holding the crutch and Lily was nodding seriously. Michelangelo looked worried. Songbird wondered what was going on. Michelangelo rested his head against Lily's stomach and she reached down and patted his head. She even knew to play with his ripped ear. She really liked that dog.

Songbird stood up suddenly. She'd had enough. She walked into the prison and back to her room.

"Oh," she said from the doorway. "I can come back..."

"No!" Daryl ordered. "Come on in."

Dr. Cooper was examining Daryl's stitches and pointing things out to Ashley. Daryl had his arms crossed over his chest and a stubborn look on his face.

"Hi," Songbird said, crawling onto the bed and sitting cross legged at Daryl's feet so she wasn't in the way. "How's he doing?"

"Better than I ever imagined," Dr. Cooper admitted. "He's still alive for one thing. But he's doing too much."

Daryl snorted. Dr. Cooper leveled a "trained professional" stare on him.

"You seem to find it hard to believe," he said. "But if you could feel the amount of stress you're putting on your injury you'd be doubled over and crying for your mother."

Songbird saw Daryl's lips twitch, but he was too stubborn to smile at the doctor's phrasing.

"It's going to be your job to keep him in bed as much as possible for at least another two weeks," the doctor said to Songbird. "You," he said, turning to Ashley, "need to keep an eye on the stitches, front and back, and make sure there's no sign of infection. At the slightest hint, use some antibiotics. Don't play around."

"Got it," Ashley confirmed.

"You're staying?" Songbird asked Ashley in surprise.

"Yes," Ashley said. "I...well, somebody's got to take care of the patient here."

Songbird eyed her narrowly for a moment. She really didn't want to have to punch her in the face like she had Vicky...nah. She wasn't giving Daryl the doe eyes. It was all good. She gave Ashley a smile.

"Glad I won't be the only girl," she said.

Ashley gave her a smile. "Me too."

"Also," Dr. Cooper said. "You should ration pain medication. If he gets feeling back before he's all healed up it's going to hurt like a son of a bitch."

"You got one hell of a bedside manner," Daryl informed him.

"You want me to blow smoke? Tell you that you may feel slight discomfort?"

"Nah. Just sayin'. So tell me this, with no smoke blowin', odds better or worse right now?"

Dr. Cooper sighed and said, "Honestly? I've got no fucking clue. I can only make an educated guess at the damage without an x ray machine. If it's a matter or bruising or swelling, you've got a decent chance. If it's more serious your chances slide dramatically. The infirmary did have some methylprednisolone which reduces the swelling and pressure on your spine. That could make a big difference eventually. Pretty much the only thing I can say for sure is that if you don't get feeling back within six months, you probably never will."

"So...wait and see?" Songbird clarified.

"Unfortunately yes. But it really is amazing that he's alive at all."

Songbird and Daryl both shrugged. Dr. Cooper raised his eyebrows. Songbird giggled.

"Sorry, it's just...you don't know him. In the past two years, he was almost incinerated when the CDC blew up, he was thrown from a horse, fell down a mountain, got impaled on an arrow, was shot in the head...oh and the Walkers. So many Walkers. Surviving is pretty much what he does. He'll be walking the next time you see us."

"Who shot him in the head?" Ashley asked.

"Andrea."

"_Andrea?_"

"I did look kinda like a Walker at the time," Daryl said. "It was after I fell down the mountain, onto the arrow, and almost got eaten. And I'd just eaten a raw squirrel. So I was bloody."

"It all happened in one day?" Ashley looked like she couldn't comprehend what he was saying.

"Yeah."

"Raw squirrel?" Dr. Cooper asked.

"Yeah."

"It's not that bad actually," Songbird said. "I mean, I wouldn't serve it at a fancy dinner...but it keeps you going."

Daryl stuck his hand out and fist bumped her. Ashley laughed suddenly.

"You guys are really good together," she said. "I thought it was so weird when I first heard—oh. Um..."

"Nah, that's the general reaction," Songbird said, waving her comment away. "No worries."

3.

When dinnertime came and Songbird looked around the room at Rick, Axle, and Daryl she lost her patience with the whole thing.

"This is just ridiculous," she said, smacking her hand down on the table and making them all jump. "They're leaving in the morning and they don't even have the guts to face us for a good bye dinner!"

Rick shrugged. Axle started eating again. Songbird looked to Daryl for support.

"Give 'em hell darlin'," he said with a grin.

"I will." She stood determinedly and shook her fist. "As God is my witness they will not go quietly!"

She didn't bother explaining herself to anyone as she tracked them all down.

"Meet me in the gym in half an hour," she ordered them all.

When everyone had finally gathered she stood up on the bleachers and cleared her throat to gain their attention.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I've called you here today." She paused for effect and to relish the businesslike tone of that phrase before continuing. "I wanted us all to have one last night together. We all have different reasons for going." She looked at Emma, who was gazing at Freddy and Lori, who was eying the floor. "And different reasons for staying," she glanced at Daryl's wheelchair and Rick's stoney face. "But we've all been together for a really long time and I don't want to send any of you off with just a "good bye" tomorrow morning. All of you mean more to me than that. So I propose that we hang out here tonight. We can tell stories and play games and sing and laugh and enjoy this...or you know, you can all get back to your cells and guilt the night away."

For a moment she really thought that was what was going to happen. People just kind of shuffled their feet and glanced around. Songbird's face fell.

"Ah come on," Daryl said. "Ya'll afraid to tell us good bye or some shit?"

"I'm not," Glenn said. "Sounds like a good idea right Mags?"

"Sure," Maggie agreed. "We haven't had a party in—well ever, really."

Gradually everyone else joined in the spirit as well. There were only two exceptions; Lori left the room almost immediately and Rick did the same after several minutes. Somehow Songbird didn't assume they'd be spending the last night together. She caught Carl by the shirt collar as he headed after his dad.

"Stick around please," she said. "It may be the last chance you get. These people suck at party planning."

She saw him struggle with the decision for a moment and then shrug.

"Yeah," he said. "They never listen to me anyway."

The gathering went really well. She finally had a chance to talk to Andrea and Dale about Lily. They assured her that the girl was doing okay. She could actually see it for herself now. Lily was in a corner with Carl and Greg playing Uno with an extremely battered deck.

"She has some nightmares," Andrea said. "But we're pretty sure she'll love the compound. All those chores to keep her mind occupied and the atmosphere is way better."

"Are you kidding?" Songbird feigned shock. "All that open air can't compare to all this steel and concrete."

Andrea smiled but then said, "I wish you were coming. It's not the same without you."

"Thanks. But we'll get there. You'll see. Before winter, we'll be rolling up."

She glanced around to see where Daryl was as she spoke and saw him at a small table, setting up a game of chess with Glenn.

"I still can't believe he plays chess," she said.

"It is a little surreal," Maggie said, joining in the conversation. "Of course, you should have been there when he was learning. I really feared for Glenn's life."

"Remember when he threw the board?" Andrea asked.

"Which time?"

"He threw the board more than once?" Songbird asked with a smile.

"Um yeah." Maggie confirmed.

"I'm thinking of the time when the cat ran off with one of the bishops and Glenn ended up in a tree trying to get it back," Andrea said.

"Oh," Maggie said with a nod. "Yeah, that was a good one."

Daryl glanced over at Songbird laughing with Andrea and Maggie before moving a knight.

"You're not paying attention," Glenn said, taking the knight. "And don't throw anything at me."

"I ain't gonna throw nothin'," Daryl said, scowling down at the board for a moment. "So Herschel's goin' along with ya'll huh?"

"Yeah. You can look smug. Maggie told him she wanted to go with me and that she wanted him to be there when his first granddaughter was born-"

"How's she know it's a girl?" Daryl asked.

"Some kind of needle and pencil thing. The science seemed fishy to me, but Maggie and Lori say it works."

"Yeah, it's better to keep your opinions on shit like that to yourself," Daryl said. "A pregnant woman can hand you your balls on a plate in three seconds flat if you piss her off just right."

Glenn nodded.

"Wish you were coming along to protect me," he said.

"He should be in bed," Dr. Cooper said from behind Daryl. "And were you planning to move that Queen or are you just going to give it to Glenn?"

Daryl examined the board and sighed. Glenn gave Dr. Cooper a dirty look. Dr. Cooper shrugged and walked off.

"We could trade. You for him."

"Shit. He ain't gettin' my girl," Daryl said. "Now. We doin' this or what?"

"Oh we're doing this," Glenn said. "It's totally on."

Daryl and Herschel talked crops after Daryl lost the chess game; Songbird, Emma, Andrea, and Maggie discussed baby names. Songbird gave a firm lecture about not naming a kid after the place it was born and Maggie said that she thought "Compound" had a good ring to it, but it wasn't as nice as "Incarceration." Songbird and Dale had one last good talk about British Literature, Maggie thanked Daryl for interfering and getting her father to leave. Michelangelo made the rounds, saying his goodbyes and receiving ear rubs.

Eventually the party wound down. Andrea and Dale left to get Lily to bed. Lori came back for Carl. Greg went grudgingly with Brad.

"I'm not ready for bed yet," Emma said, sitting down on the bleachers.

"What about some singing?" Maggie asked. "Whatever happened to that guitar?"

Freddy pulled it from behind the bleachers. Songbird's face lit up like Christmas.

"Who wants to go first?" she asked.

"You," Emma said with a grin. "I don't sing anyway."

"I do," Maggie said. "But I haven't heard the legendary Songbird sing."

"I am far from legendary," she protested.

"Just sing," Glenn cut in. "Quit with the modesty."

"Okay fine. Freddy?"

"Yeah?" He was looking down at the guitar.

"How good are you with jazz?"

"Amazing at jazz," he answered.

"All right then." She took a deep breath, cleared her throat and began, giving Daryl a smile and a quick wink.

_"Never know how much I love you,_

_ Never know how much I care._

_ When you put your arms around me,_

_ I get a fever that's so hard to bear._

_ You give me fever._

_ Fever when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight._

_ Fever, in the morning. Fever all through the night."_

When she was done, Maggie looked impressed.

"Well, now I don't want to follow you!"

"Come on Maggie," Glenn said. "We can duet."

Maggie laughed. While she and Glenn debated, Freddy began another tune, one everyone knew. Freddy started, but soon everyone joined in by the chorus. Well, everyone but Daryl and Emma.

_"Ain't no mountain high enough,_

_ ain't no valley low enough,_

_ ain't no river wide enough,_

_ to keep me from getting to you babe."_

After that it was kind of a free for all. Emma and Daryl called out song names and whoever knew the song sang it. Songbird and Freddy sang Jack and Diane, Glenn covered Don't Stop Believing, Freddy and Glenn had to cover I Just Had Sex, which was Maggie's suggestion, and when everyone calmed down from that, Freddy's version of Hey There Delilah made Emma all misty eyed. Maggie, whose voice was higher than Songbird's, did a really good job of Fear and Loathing, which had been Songbird's suggestion.

"Here's ya'll a challenge," Daryl said with a grin. "We Didn't Start the Fire."

"Yeah right," Songbird said with a laugh.

"_Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray _

_ South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio _

_ Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television _

_ North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe__"_ Maggie sang.

"_Rosenbergs, H-bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom __  
><em>_Brando, "The King and I" and "The Catcher in the Rye" __  
><em>_Eisenhower, vaccine, England's got a new queen __  
><em>_Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye_ " Glenn chimed in without missing a beat.

It was a second before the rest joined in for the chorus.

_"__We didn't start the fire __  
><em>_It was always burning __  
><em>_Since the world's been turning __  
><em>_We didn't start the fire __  
><em>_No we didn't light it __  
><em>_But we tried to fight it.__"_

"I can't believe you guys know that song!" Songbird said in amazement when they were done.

"We are pretty much meant for each other," Glenn said smugly.

They let that be the finale. Everyone knew that it couldn't be topped. They said their good nights and went their separate ways.

"Songbird?" Freddy said when she started out of the room behind Daryl. "Do you have a minute?"


	93. Chapter 90

1.

"Yes. Um...maybe." She glanced at Daryl. He shrugged. "Yes." she clarified. "I do."

They walked out into the yard. Daryl went back to his room. He wanted to get into bed but he couldn't without help. That was annoying. Why hadn't he thought of that before he let Songbird walk off with Freddy?

The longer he sat there the longer it bothered him. Freddy wasn't bangin' Emma. He sure as fuck wasn't bangin' Songbird. Daryl wondered just why the hell he'd let her go off with Freddy. He'd never asked about the sex between the two of them, but how bad could it have been? Songbird was pretty damn good at it. And she'd seemed so happy with Freddy. Freddy, who, even though he was a jackass, was about a decade younger. And taller. Daryl frowned fiercely. He'd also managed to get into and leave Woodbury without losing any major motor function.

Daryl could see it in his head. A good bye hug that turned into a kiss in the garage. Songbird realizing that Freddy could do things Daryl couldn't anymore. She'd move against him, he'd pick her up...next thing you knew they'd be fuckin. Probably in the back of the truck. His truck. Daryl brought his fist down on the arm of the wheelchair and swore out loud.

2.

"You've been pretty hard to track down," Songbird said when Freddy didn't look like he was going to speak.

He shrugged and nodded.

"This is weird for me," he admitted.

She watched him shove his hands into his pockets and look up at the moon.

"What is?"

"Leaving you. It's not what I'm supposed to do. We left home together and I always planned for us to go back that way and it's...not right to just walk away from you."

She looked at him in surprise. He gave her his old familiar lopsided grin.

"I know you're not going to leave him," he went on when she stayed silent. "And I'm not, you know, hitting on you right now. It's just that...we both know what could happen. I still love you. In a non-creepy way, obviously. And it's going to be hard to get in that car and leave you behind forever."

"_Potentially_ forever," she corrected.

"Sure, okay. Potentially forever. It's potentially forever until I see you again and I never planned on that."

"I never planned on it either," she said. "Daryl...he was never supposed to be like this."

"How is he?" Freddy asked carefully.

"I don't really know. Okay sometimes. Sometimes...less than okay. Normal I guess."

"And how are you?"

"I don't really know," she answered again. "Terrified. Like always."

"It's hard to tell," Freddy answered. "You seem to have it pretty together lately."

She shrugged.

"How's the arm?"

"My arm?" She played dumb.

"Emma told me about it."

"Oh. It's okay I guess. Healing. I hate it."

"Can I see?"

"No."

"Come on."

She pulled her sleeve up, letting him look at the bands, but not going up far enough for him to see the bird.

"Must have hurt like a motherfucker," Freddy said.

"I passed out," she admitted. "I don't know how I'm going to do this alone. What if Daryl doesn't get better? He's not exactly optimistic, but I know he's hopeful. If he loses that hope how's he going to keep going?"

"He'll be all right. It'll turn into normal."

"It shouldn't have to!" She was suddenly angry again. "He's a good man! He doesn't deserve this! He deserves something good. He deserves to be happy and to go back to the compound and be safe and have a family and now-" her voice broke. "None of it. He won't have any of it."

Freddy pulled her against him and she rested her head on his chest.

"I'm sorry." It was the only thing he could think of to say.

"I'll miss you. I've missed you anyway."

"I've missed you too. The sex thing makes it so weird."

"I know. I was thinking about that earlier. If the sex had just sucked we'd be so much better off."

"I know. I'm just too damn good."

"Whatever, I'm just as good as you."

"I guess I'll give you that. You'll take care of yourself right?"

"Yeah. You'll take care of Emma?"

"Sure. Always. And I'll keep a room open for you."

"You better. We'll be there before winter."

Freddy tilted her chin up and kissed her on the cheek. She returned the kiss and then gave him a hug.

"Good night Freddy."

"Good night Songbird."

She headed up the hallway. She was determined not to cry. It wouldn't change anything and it might just wash away all of her "grown up" cred.

"Oh Daryl I'm sorry!" she said when she walked in. She'd forgotten that he couldn't get into bed by himself anymore."You must have been so bored sitting here-"

"You been gone a while," he cut in. "What was do damn important?"

"Oh, we were just saying good bye. Ready to get in bed?"

"Did you kiss him?" He watched her face closely. She was easy to read. He'd see it if she lied.

"No, Daryl," she answered.

The gentle tone in her voice and the soft, understanding look in her eyes made him furious.

"Listen I don't need your fuckin' pity all right? I don't. I don't need-" his voice caught and he pushed both hands through his hair. God, what the hell was wrong with him?

Songbird stayed still while he regained some control. Then she stepped over and put her hands on his shoulders.

"I love you," she said simply. "I need you. Nobody else is good enough."

"Hell, you already left me for him once before," Daryl said. "And I could walk back then."

"Yes, but you're less crazy now," she said, trying to keep it light. "It balances out."

"Don't," he said. "Don't make it sound like-"

"Like it's silly?" She sat down in his lap. "I'm sorry...but it is. I'm not going to cheat on you. Freddy and I did kiss. On the cheek. That's all. It was nothing like this."

She pressed her lips to his. At first he didn't respond, but she persisted until he couldn't help it. When he cupped the back of her head and scraped his teeth across her lower lip she moaned against him. She hadn't cheated on him. She'd had a chance and she hadn't. Relief coursed through him.

Songbird felt his hand on her knee. It moved up slowly, sending tingles of pleasure through her body. His hand slid under her shirt and she arched her back, expecting him to keep going up. She gasped in surprise when he didn't. He flicked the button of her jeans open and pushed his hand under the denim.

"Oh God," she whispered when his fingers moved against her. "Oh Daryl..."

He enjoyed this. He'd missed the way she worked her hips up when he played with her. He kissed his way down her neck to the hollow of her throat and relished her fingers tightening in his hair and on his shirt. He pushed two fingers inside her and her head dropped back.

"Yes! Right there, right there..."

"I know darlin'," he said.

He rubbed her clit with his thumb as he thrust his fingers deeper. She pressed her face against his shoulder, doing her best not to scream as she came for the first time in weeks. He felt her shivering as he pulled her close against him.

"Mmm," she murmured after a moment as she kissed his neck. "That was..." suddenly she really processed what had just happened and the fact that she couldn't return the favor. "Incredibly selfish of me." She pushed herself upright and stood, rearranging her jeans. "I'm sorry..."

Daryl grinned at her and shook his head.

"Nah. I shoulda just done that last night. Come on. Let's get in bed."

"It doesn't...you know...bother you?" she asked once they were lying down.

"What?"

"Not being able to...you know..."

"You still can't say it. God you're cute. It's hard to explain. I mean yeah, it bothers me. But not like it did when we was first together and just kinda messin' around. I can't feel nothin'. I miss the feelin' of feelin' if you follow me."

"You've been hanging out with Axle too much. But I think I get it."

"Gonna miss everybody," Daryl admitted.

"Me too. I'm glad Ashley is staying though."

"Yeah, you won't have to bug me with your girl talk."

She flicked him on the arm.

"You know I'm adorable," she said.

He could hear the smile in her voice and he kissed her on the top of the head.

"Can't argue."

3.

Songbird woke up when she heard movement in the hall. Daryl was still asleep so she slid out of bed carefully and dressed quickly. The person in the hall was Ashley.

"Oh morning," she said. "I hope I didn't wake you up."

"Nah. Well, yeah actually, but I'm usually the first person up. You aren't having second thoughts about staying are you?"

"No. I thought that I'd make some breakfast for everyone. They've got last minute packing to do and all that."

"Want help?"

"Sure."

They walked down to the kitchen together and began putting a meal together.

"I've been meaning to tell you that I like your dog," Ashley said. "I think he's been a big help to Lily."

"Michelangelo's great," Songbird agreed. "Did you know Lily well?"

"Not really. None of us really knew each other well. Her mother worked in gardening, I was healthcare. We didn't cross paths. Lily seems like a good kid though."

"Her mother loved her a lot," Songbird said.

"Did you really kill her?"

"No," Songbird said firmly. "The Governor poisoned her before the fight. The woman-"

"Margaret," Ashley said. "Her name was Margaret."

"She asked me to take Lily away from all that. And she didn't want to come back as a Walker. That's why I cut her head off."

"I could never do that."

Songbird looked at her closely.

"What about in the beginning?"

"I never had to," Ashley said. "My boyfriend took care of me until we got to Woodbury. Is that what made you different? I know what he must have done to you...but you survived. And you killed him."

"Is _what_ what made me different?"

"Killing Walkers. Did it help you kill him?"

Songbird didn't know how to answer.

"I don't know," she said. "Anger made it easy to kill him. Not just easy...I enjoyed it. But nothing made it easier to take off Margret's head. So you've really never killed a Walker?"

"No."

"Wow. I didn't think slayer-virgins still existed."

Ashley shrugged and said, "I don't think I could do it."

"If Daryl was able we'd take you out and introduce you to the fun. Well...I won't say fun. More like necessary to live activity."

"But we're safe now."

"We're never safe."

4.

"A little help?"

Emma was balancing a stack of books, her duffel bag, the teddy from Freddy (as Songbird referred to it) and some CD's. Or at least she was trying to. Songbird ran over and snatched the top layer before it crashed to the ground.

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

They pushed the stuff into Brad's Subaru and then glanced around. Almost everyone was in the garage now.

"It's almost time," Emma said nervously.

"You remembered to pack everything?" Songbird asked.

"Yes mom."

"Oh suck it."

"All right," Freddy called. "Everyone who's leaving get over here. Head count and so forth."

Everyone made their way over to Freddy. Songbird stood behind Daryl, resting her chin on his head. Axle stayed beside her. Rick came into the garage holding Judy.

"Where's Carl?" Lori asked coldly.

"I thought he was with you," Rick snapped back.

"Not again," Daryl muttered under his breath.

Freddy sighed as the meeting dissolved into accusations.

"Hey," he said. "Listen. Hey! We should-"

"Shut up!" Daryl finally bellowed.

Silence fell. Daryl waved Freddy on.

"We should split up and look. He might be in the bathroom or something."

Much to the surprise of no one, he wasn't. They decided to split up. Everyone went off in separate directions and it wasn't until he was left sitting there alone that Daryl realized no one had told him anywhere to look.

"Well fuck," he muttered.

He sat there, irritated, for several minutes when it occurred to him. He wheeled his way out and back into the garage. Then he banged his fist hard on the side of his truck. Carl's head popped into view.

"Get your ass out here," Daryl ordered.

Carl opened the back of the truck and slid over, sitting on the tailgate sheepishly.

"Don't wanna go?" Daryl asked.

"No."

"Ever try talkin' to people instead of doin' shit like this?"

"They don't listen. Dad says I have to go. Mom says she won't leave me. I don't want to go."

"And just why the hell not? You think we're stayin' 'cause we love this place too damn much?"

"No. You're staying because you have to. Dad's staying because he wants to kill Shane."

"Shit. You been listenin' at doors?"

"Yeah."

"Everybody's or just theirs?"

"Just theirs," Carl said. "But Dad never comes right out and says it anyway. But I know that's what he wants. Because of Shane and Mom."

"So what do you want to stay for?"

"Dad needs someone to look out for him. Shane's...not like Dad."

"So you think your old man needs protection?"

"It can't hurt," Carl said defiantly. "What if you and Songbird aren't around? Shane knows this place like the back of his hand. He's not going to be happy when he finds out Mom's gone."

Daryl nodded.

"How'd you know where I was anyway?"

"Where else would you be? You'd need to hear people leavin' so you'd know when to come out. And why pick an uncomfortable car when you can have my truck?"

"It is nice," Carl said. "Now I know why you and Songbird spent so much time in it."

"You're too young to even have half a clue about that," Daryl said. "Now come on, get outta my truck and let's see what we can do."

"You're going to help me?"

"I don't know when the fuck I turned into a goddamn diplomat. But yeah, I'm gonna help you."

5.

"Carl!" Lori gasped, throwing her arms around her son when he walked up the hallway beside Daryl.

"You're welcome," Daryl said after a few moments of watching.

"You found him?"

"Yeah. Maybe you could ease up on my girl now. Let her say goodbye to the baby."

Lori flushed and straightened up.

"I never said she couldn't. Come on Carl. Let's go back to the garage."

Carl cast Daryl a desperate look. Daryl only waved them on. Lori spread the word on the way back so everyone ended up in the garage at nearly the same time.

"All right hang on," Daryl said. "I found this kid hidin' in the back of my truck 'cause he don't want to go. Ya'll oughta deal with it. You oughta let him stay here. Otherwise he's just gonna slip out on the road and walk back or some dumb shit like that."

"There's nothing to deal with," Lori said firmly. "He's not staying here. And Carl Grimes you'd better not even think of-"

"You can't watch me all the time," Carl said. "I really don't want to leave Dad."

"Your dad will be fine," Lori said shrilly. "He's always fine!"

Judy began to cry. Songbird stepped up hesitantly and Lori handed her the baby.

"Son it really is better for you to go with your mother," Rick said tightly. "The compound is safer and-"

"I don't care! It's my life and I should get to decide!"

Songbird walked out of the garage. Then she went back and got Daryl. The rest of the group followed reluctantly. Freddy looked up at the sun and sighed.

"My early start is officially fucked. How long do you think this will take?"

Songbird shrugged and bounced Judy on her hip to distract her long enough to pry her braid free from the little girl's hand. Michelangelo sat down beside Lily who was waiting impatiently with her arms crossed.

Surprisingly it didn't take long. They heard the door to the RV slam shut and then Carl stepped out.

"I'm, um, staying," he said. "Mom's in the RV. She's ready to go."

"You're staying?" Lily asked in dismay.

"I have to," Carl said, sounding somewhere between important and embarrassed. "I've gotta help my dad."

"Well...I'll miss you," Lily whispered.

Carl blushed fire engine red when she kissed his cheek before she turned to talk to Michelangelo. The next few minutes were a confusion of goodbyes. Songbird was still holding Judy.

"Oh! I guess I'd better, you know, give this back," she said to Daryl with a half smile. "I'll be back."

She stepped into the RV gingerly.

"Hi Lori. Here you go."

"Thanks," Lori said taking Judy. "At least he can't take this one away from me."

"To be fair-"

"Don't. I'm not in the mood for fair, Songbird. Nothing is. Ever."

"I'm sorry."

Lori only shrugged. "Try to make sure nothing happens to Carl will you?"

"Sure. We'll all look out for him. He's a good kid Lori. He's-"

"Thanks. I guess I'll see you if you ever make it back."

"Okay." Songbird brushed her hand over Judy's dark hair and said, "Bye cutie."

The rest of the goodbyes were brief. No one wanted to drag things out. Lily, despite her attempts not to, was crying. Michelangelo sat near her, gazing soulfully at Songbird as if she could make it better.

"Maybe we can find you a dog on the road," Andrea coaxed.

"He won't be like this," Lily said. "He's the best dog in the world."

Daryl read it on her face before she said it, so he was the only one not shocked when Songbird said, "Why don't you take him along?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Freddy asked.

"Yeah. A prison's no place for him. And Lily really likes him-" Her voice broke but she got it back under control. "Just for now though. Kind of a loaner. Until you get a dog of your own."

Lily met her eyes and nodded slowly.

"And only if he wants to go," Songbird finished. "Come here Michelangelo, we need to talk."

The dog trotted obediently over and she knelt in front of him. He sat so they were eye to eye.

"Would you want to go with Lily?"

He tilted his head and looked from her to the RV.

"No. I'm still not going. You know we can't. But Lily really likes you and I think you're good for her. She needs a lot of help right now. Could you take care of things out there until we get there?"

He made a low whuffling sound in his throat and gave her a look that said he was surprised she thought she had to ask.

"I thought so. So, um, you go on with them okay? And we'll be there before you know it."

He bowed his head and leaned against her shoulder. She threw her arms around him and buried her face against his neck, letting his short fur absorb her tears.

"I love you Michelangelo. You really are the best dog in the world," she choked out.

He pushed his head against her and licked her cheek. She stood up, hooked her fingers into his collar and walked back to Lily.

"Take good care of him. He'll walk all over you if you let him." She ignored his reproachful look; they all knew it was true. "And remember, you're just borrowing him."

"Thank you," Lily said. "And I will remember. And...thank you."

Songbird nodded and stepped back. Everyone began piling into their cars. Freddy put his hand on the back of her neck briefly in passing and she knew he understood more than anyone else how much she was giving up.

"I'll see you soon," he said. "And I'll make sure he's safe."

"Thanks," she whispered.

She, Daryl, Axle, Ashley, Rick, and Carl walked to the gates and opened them. The RV went out first, followed by Brad's Subaru, and the car Freddy had found yesterday. They were leaving T's truck for Rick since they wouldn't all fit in Daryl's when/if the time came to go. Rick and Axle shut the gates when the last car had driven though.

"So," Ashley said in a quivering voice. "Just us then."

Daryl saw Songbird's lower lip tremble.

"All right," he said. "No sense in sittin' around out here all day. Everybody's got shit to do right?"

"I was gonna take a look at that truck," Axle said. "Make sure it's still running good, if you follow me."

"I found some medical books in the infirmary that I'd been meaning to look over," Ashley said. "Want to come along?"

"Huh?" Songbird looked up and blinked back her tears. "Me?"

"Yeah. It can't hurt to have someone else around who's medically inclined."

"Okay...sure I guess. What are you going to do?" she asked Daryl.

Daryl shrugged and Ashley said, "Lie down?"

"Fuck that. I'll figure somethin' out."

"Basketball?" Carl asked innocently.

"Teach you to play chess," Daryl countered. "I made Glenn leave the set I made."

Carl looked doubtful.

"Ah come on. I'm sure you're faster at ducking than Glenn."

"Okay, okay."

They went their separate ways. Only Rick stayed outside, watching and waiting by the fence.


	94. Chapter 91

1.

Days passed slowly, and Daryl was dismayed to see that it was going to be an early, hot summer. Songbird nagged him about resting just as much as Ashley did, but he couldn't stand the four walls of his cell for long at a time. And the prison was like a fuckin' slow cooker. He thought longingly of the compound. Kansas would be cooler this time of year anyway, but underground would be so nice. On the plus side, the garden was coming along pretty well. There'd be fresh food soon.

He glanced up at Rick in the watchtower.

"Anything?" he yelled.

"No," Rick answered.

"Ain't bored with it yet?"

Rick didn't bother to answer that.

2.

"Wish Herschel hadn't taken all the chickens," Songbird muttered. "I wonder if we could find more."

"Where?" Ashley asked.

"Where ever," Songbird answered. "The world is our oyster. Well...to be more apropos, the world could be our chicken farm."

She stood up determinedly.

"Come on. It's about time you saw the world."

"Fuck no!"

That wasn't Ashley, it was Daryl. He didn't like her little plan.

"Not by yourselves."

"Daryl, come on. Don't you want eggs?"

"Not that bad."

"We haven't seen a Walker in a while..."

"Last time I let you outta my sight you ended up in Woodbury."

"We'll go in the exact opposite direction."

"Might be another one."

"Two Woodbury's? I hardly think that's likely."

"Yeah, but you don't know. No."

She sighed and rubbed the back of her neck.

"Don't make this hard, Daryl."

"I ain't. I'm sayin' no. That makes it easy. Tell Rick to do it."

"You know he's glued to his watchtower."

"Maybe he'll see a chicken and let you know."

"Haha," she said humorlessly. "I really want to do this. I kind of think I need to. Ashley doesn't know what she's doing out there by herself-"

"You're not makin' me feel better about it."

"I'd take Carl but he's still in that cast."

"A ten year old wouldn't make me feel better either."

"He's 12."

"Well that makes all the difference."

Songbird sighed and leaned down. She brushed a kiss over Daryl's lips and said, "I'm going. I'll be back before supper."

"What?"

"I love you."

"I can't stand you."

She blew him a kiss and walked out.

"Do you guys always argue like that?" Ashley asked.

"That wasn't an argument," Songbird answered with a smile. "Have you got everything you need?"

"I don't know," the other woman admitted. "Rick gave me this."

She held a gun out. Songbird took it and made sure the safety was on before starting to hand it back.

"Do you know how to shoot?"

"Not really."

"I'm just going to hang onto this then. You take this." She handed her one of the machetes and stuck the gun in the back of her waistband.

"Hey!" Daryl called.

"Do you need something before I go?"

"No. Just-" He broke off, and a strange look crossed his face for a second.

"Daryl?"

"Huh? I was just sayin' be careful."

"Are you okay?"

"Sure, yeah. Fine. Come find me as soon as you get back so I don't sit around worryin'."

"I promise." She gave him a kiss and looked into his face seriously. "Are you sure-"

"Yes," he said. "Go."

He watched her walk off before he let his breath out all the way. For a second he'd felt a pain like lightning through his stomach, but he didn't feel anything now. Must have been one of those phantom pains Dale and Brad had talked about. Either way, it wasn't enough to get her all worried.

"So where are you girls headed?" Axle asked, giving them both what he probably thought was a smooth once over when they walked into the garage.

"Chicken hunting," Songbird answered as she opened the door to Daryl's truck and propped one foot on the running board to straighten her knife sheath. "Want to ride along?"

"I'm good right where I am," he answered. "Big world's just got bigger since I been locked up if you follow me."

"Sure. Have fun with the truck."

"If you happen to go past any parts stores," Axle said hopefully. "Been writin' down some stuff I could use."

"I'll do what I can. Do you mind helping me with the gate?"

As they headed down the road Ashley said, "Axle was checking you out."

"Oh he got you too," Songbird said.

"It doesn't bother you?"

"Nah. I mean for one thing, I obviously don't have an issue with an age difference. Not that I'm attracted to Axle...but he's harmless."

"How long have you known him?"

"Since last summer. Do me a favor and keep an eye out for anything in the road. Daryl will hurt me in new and inventive ways if something happens to his truck."

"So it's his truck not yours?"

"Yeah." Songbird geared down as she approached a pot hole. "I couldn't even drive until last year."

"Really? Wow. I learned when I was 15. I thought everyone did."

"Not me. I was busy doing other things. Any ideas about where we could look for chickens and auto parts?"

"No. I'm not from around here."

Songbird brought the truck to a slow and gentle stop and dug around under the seat.

"Ah ha," she said triumphantly a few moments later as she pulled out a map Maggie had drawn. "Okay. So if the Greene's farm is that way..." she trailed off as she planned the route.

"Any ideas?" Ashley asked.

"Oh yeah. We can check the town for car parts."

"What about chickens?"

"Those too. If there was one farm around there were probably two. Farmers travel in packs right?" she asked with a grin.

Ashley looked like she didn't know what to make of Songbird, but eventually she smiled back at her.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" she asked.

"Sure."

"How old are you?"

"19. In July, whenever that is, I'll be 20. What about you?"

"I'm 24," Ashley said. "It's just...you seem..."

"It's my zest for life that confuses people," Songbird said reassuringly.

They saw an auto parts store right as they pulled into town. One of the big plate glass windows had been shattered, but she could still see merchandise on the shelves.

"Okay ready for Looting 101?"

She saw Ashley tighten her grip on the machete as they got out of the truck. She looked paper-white and nervous.

"Try to relax okay? It's been pretty Walker free lately."

"It's not just them that I'm worried about. What about-"

"Stop it. That won't do anyone any good. Let's just go get some oil and whatever else Axle wants." Songbird ignored the fear that seemed to wait just under her skin and stepped into the store. She didn't hear anything so she glanced around for anything they could use as she ran her fingers over the handles of the knives strapped to her wrist for comfort.

Ashley seemed confident with the list at least. Not only did she know most of what Axle wanted, she knew where it would be on the shelves.

"Nurse _and _car chick?" Songbird asked as they loaded the truck bed up.

"I used to help my boyfriend," she said. "He loved fixing up old cars. And new cars. And motorcycles and go-carts and anything else with a motor."

"Sounds kind of fun."

"Actually it was a big waste of money. But it made him happy."

Ashley looked like she might tear up. Distraction seemed like a good idea.

"Hey, there's the bar where Daryl got shot," Songbird said, pointing down the street.

"By Andrea?"

"No. This was a different time."

"He's been shot more than once? I mean other than the time the Governor shot him?"

"I think three is it. Unless you count the crossbow bolt. But I don't. That wasn't shot so much as stabbed. Want to go into the bar? If there's still any whiskey I should really bring some back for Daryl."

"Sure, I guess."

The inside of the bar was cool and dark. She thought she heard creaking, but it didn't sound like footsteps. Ashley gasped suddenly. Near one of the big screens, half under a table, was a Walker. It was growling and trying to stand, but not having much luck since it's arms had been either chewed or pulled off.

"Well?" Songbird said. "Get it."

Ashley had scrambled back away as it grew more determined.

"It's going to get up!" she said.

"If you don't kill it then yeah, it will." Songbird leaned on the bar. "I gave you a machete. Go for it."

Ashley gave a short yelp as the Walker managed to stand. It took two lurching steps before toppling over again.

"Oh come on," Songbird said. "This could not be easier. Right through the eye."

"What if it-"

"What? It doesn't have arms."

Ashley stepped forward; the Walker snarled and snapped its teeth. She jumped back.

"I...I can't."

"You have to. I'm not going to."

"But you know how!"

"So do you! You're a nurse for Pete's sake. It can't be a squeamishness thing."

"I don't stab most of my patients in the eye!"

"And, on behalf of Daryl, I guess I should say thank you. But you've got to face up to this." Songbird said seriously. "Look, he's getting up again. Go!"

Ashley ran forward and, with a small shriek, swung the machete down. She missed. The blade caught in the wood floor just as the Walker heaved itself up and flung itself toward her. She didn't even have time to scream.

Songbird plucked her knife from the back of its skull when it had fallen with a thud and wiped it off on a rag she'd had in her pocket.

"You nearly got me killed!" Ashley accused.

"Bad aim nearly got you killed. And hey! Big step forward! You almost accomplished something big."

"Look, just because you're a fighter doesn't mean that I am," she replied, her voice shaking. "There's a reason you were in the ring and I was in the infirmary!"

"Everyone can be a fighter. Everyone has to be. What if we'd been reversed? I'd be dead right now because you don't know how to help me."

"I don't need you to tell me that I've cost people their lives!" Ashley said shrilly. "I'm going back to the truck!"

"Not by yourself you're not. And I'm not going anywhere till I've looted this bar. So sit tight."

Ashley gave her a mutinous look, but she parked it at the bar with her back to Songbird. Songbird turned and faced the shelves with a mental shrug.

There wasn't much left, but she found some bourbon, an unopened bottle of scotch, and several different brands of whiskey. Daryl would be happy. She filled her backpack and slung it over one shoulder.

"All right. Shall we go looking for chickens or are you still mad at me?"

"I...you...you're..."

"I know. But I'm right. Consider me your own personal mentor."

"Did you have one?"

"Yeah."

"Daryl?"

"In a way. Also Freddy. But most importantly, Freddy's sister. Her name was Lucky and she was a seriously serious hard ass."

"Was?"

"She died in an explosion on a bridge in Kansas. She saved Rick, Daryl, me, Freddy, and Michelangelo. Also a woman named Liz and her newborn."

Songbird stepped out of the bar and looked up the street.

"What kind of world is this?" Ashley asked.

"The same kind it's always been. It's just that the superficial layers have been peeled off. The freedom to be who you are isn't good for everybody."

Ashley looked at Songbird. She had a machete on her back, knives strapped to her wrists, jeans tucked into black boots and a long sleeved black jersey shirt. She was one of the most delicate looking people she'd ever known, but Ashley had seen what she'd done to the Governor and heard about her fights in the ring. She'd also heard how Songbird had survived the journey back from Kansas from Freddy. Hearing about the ravine was enough to send shivers down her spine even now in the bright sunshine. Now she was talking about explosions and spouting philosophy. Maybe she wouldn't be the worst mentor to have.

"How did you learn to kill them?" she asked as Songbird started for the truck.

"I was walking when I should have been running. I got surrounded. I threw a knife into one of their throats. It didn't do anything. I stabbed the next one in the eye and that did the trick. The next thing I knew they were all dead and I was covered in blood. I gathered up my knives and started to walk again."

"It didn't bother you?"

"Two miles away it hit me," Songbird said honestly. "I started upchucking. Ran into a river, jumped in, scrubbed till I nearly bled. I didn't know what to think or what to do."

"What did you do?"

"Eventually I got out of the river. I decided not to think about it. None of it. I'm good at that. Or at least I was. Then I met Daryl. He usually drags information out of me like it's the 50's and he thinks I might be a communist."

"He really loves you doesn't he?" Ashley asked.

"Most of the time," Songbird said with a grin.

Once they were back in the truck, eyes peeled for a farm, Ashley said, "Do you think...if it wasn't for all this..." she gestured at the desertion around them, "You and Daryl would have gotten together?"

Songbird chewed her lip in thought.

"I'd like to say yes," she said. "But I really doubt we ever would have crossed paths. I worked in a circus all over the US and he did construction in BFE South Carolina."

"A circus?"

"Yep."

"You're a really interesting person Songbird."

"And you're really quiet about yourself. All I know is that you're a nurse. Where were you from?"

"Atlanta."

"_Atlanta_? That's it. No more talking about me. How did you get out of Atlanta?"

"Jeff did it. He had a Hummer that he'd just sunk a ton of money into. It didn't have much trouble. We had some issues with gas, but he handled that too."

"Smart guy."

"Yeah. Woodbury was my idea. He didn't want to stay; he hated the Governor and the idea of being caged in with people we didn't know. It's my fault he's dead. I wanted a normal life again. I didn't let him take the offer to leave."

"It probably wasn't a real offer," Songbird said, offering what consolation she could. "He didn't seem like the benevolent type to me."

"He was at first," Ashley said. "I mean, sometimes people disappeared, but he always made sure that people thought they'd put us in danger."

"What happened to make him lose it?"

"Dean. He found Penny."

"Who was Penny?"

"The Governor's daughter. She'd been bitten. The Governor was keeping her in his office, feeding her pieces of the people he'd killed."

"Good God! Are you serious?"

"Yeah. Anyway Dean put a bullet in her brain, told us that we were all brain washed idiots. The Governor shot him in the stomach and let him bleed out while he explained to all of us that we belonged to him. Then he built the ring. Dean was the first Biter inside it."

"Didn't anyone get out?"

"A few, but most of us were too scared."

"Look, a farm," Songbird said suddenly. "Want to try it?"

"Sure."

The place was deserted and there wasn't a chicken in sight.

"Dang." Songbird muttered. "Well, I'm checking the barn."

"What for?"

"Oh you never know what you'll find. Anyway, the door's open. If there were Walkers, they'd have come to greet us by now."

The barn was a bust. There were an impressive amount of tools, including a scythe that reminded Songbird of the Grim Reaper, but no chickens or Walkers.

"What was that?" Ashley whispered suddenly.

"What was what?"

"That," she repeated.

Songbird heard it too this time. A shuffly, snorty, sound from outside the barn. She reached out and took the machete from Ashley. If it was a Walker she wasn't going to get all Obi Wan in the confines of the shadowy barn; Ashley could learn later.

She stepped forward just as a figure appeared in the barn doors. It wasn't a Walker. It wasn't even human.

"Is that a pig?" Ashley whispered.

"Yeah. Weird."

It was even weirder when it lowered its head and charged. Ashley shrieked and ran for the barn door.

"No wait!" Songbird yelled because it would be better to go up into the hayloft, but the sentence ending in a pained whoosh as the pig, actually a boar upon closer inspection, knocked her flat. She dropped the machete. Now that she was flat on her back the other one machete, and more importantly, the gun, were underneath her. That wasn't good.

The boar lowered its head, its tusks glinting in the low light. She couldn't get to a weapon. There was only one option left. She punched it in the snout. It huffed indignantly and she scrambled backward, trying to get to her feet. The boar was faster. She coughed as its head came into contact with her breastbone. Seriously? This was how she was going to die? Daryl would never believe it.

Suddenly the boar squealed and she felt its weight press into her stomach. Any second her ribs were going to go. She reached out for the other machete. Before she got a grip on it, blood splashed down onto her face and the boar rolled over, twitching. She sat up in shock. Ashley stood there with her hands over her mouth. The scythe protruded from the boar's neck.

"Good job!" Songbird said after spitting out a mouthful of pig blood. "I haven't seen 'Carrie' in a while."

"It's still moving."

"Nervous system hasn't shut down yet. It's not feeling pain. You're a nurse; you know how it works."

She stood up and winced.

"Are you okay?"

"My internal organs didn't need a pig tap dancing on them, but it's okay. Thanks to you. Maybe you don't need a mentor."

Ashley forced a smile and said, "Are you kidding? I just didn't want to face Daryl if I went back without you."

Songbird laughed.

"You're very wise. By the way, what did you do?"

Ashley gestured to the boar's back leg and said, "I severed the tendon to distract it. I didn't think about it falling on you."

"Better than the alternative. Let's wrap it up and get it in the truck."

"Seriously?"

"Does the word bacon mean nothing to you? Because it means a whole lot to me."

"So can we call it a day?" Ashley asked as they heaved the boar into the back of the truck. "I think we've accomplished a lot."

"Liquor and bacon is a pretty good haul," Songbird admitted. "I guess so. Daryl'll be pissed that I came out here and didn't get any chickens though."

"He didn't want you to go in the first place."

"Yeah...but since I went anyway, he's going to expect results."

Songbird sat on the tailgate and frowned in deep thought.

"You look like a disturbing reinterpretation of The Thinker," Ashley said after several moments.

Songbird laughed and hopped down.

"We'll try the woods around Herschel's farm. Maggie said some of the chickens got out when they were getting ready to leave. Maybe they stayed close to home. If they aren't there, we'll just go back to the prison. Do I have a lot of blood on me?"

"Yes."

"Dang. Do you think it'll get on the seats?"

"No. It's mostly on your front."

"That's good."

They drove to the farm and scouted around.

"Poor Herschel," Songbird murmured when she saw the old farmhouse. It was really nice. "I can see why he wanted to stay."

"It is nice," Ashley agreed. "But we really should get moving. The sun is going to start going down soon."

"You're right." Songbird pulled her gaze away from the big house and its generous front porch and her thoughts of what it would have been like to be there when Daryl was. "Lets head down into the woods."

It was a pleasant walk; the air was cooler than it was in the prison, that was for sure. There was a little stream and—Songbird went still.

"Do you hear that?"

"It sounded like a chicken," Ashley whispered in excitement.

"It totally did!" Songbird took a minute to curb her enthusiasm and then walked quietly down a small embankment.

There were plenty of chickens down there. There were also plenty of Walkers.


	95. A Daryl and Songbird Christmas Special

A/N: Yeah, this isn't really a chapter…but I wanted to do a little something for Christmas! Merry Christmas everyone!

Daryl leaned back against the wall and eyed Songbird, who was pouring another drink.

"You ain't told me a story in while," he said.

She handed him the cup and crawled over to sit beside him, her back to the wall as well.

"In the mood for one?" she asked.

"Sure," he said as he sipped the whiskey she'd poured.

"Any requests?"

"We missed Christmas last year," he pointed out.

"You want it to be about last Christmas?"

"Fuck no, last year sucked." He looked thoughtful. "A different Christmas. And we just met. And no Walkers. They got the last two Christmases."

"Challenge accepted," she replied after a moment's thought of her own.

_ Of course his brother wasn't where he was supposed to be; even Christmas Eve couldn't force Merle Dixon to be on time. Back home Daryl didn't mind so much. Here though, it pissed him off. He was doing Merle a favor by coming out here to pick him up so he didn't have to rent a car or catch a plane and now he was freezing his ass off on a street corner all by himself. _

_ Also, he'd already gotten lost three different times trying to drive before giving up and paying a godawful amount for a parking garage and taking a cab. He was pretty sure he hadn't tipped enough either. Daryl wasn't sure what language the driver spoke, but he knew that the guy hadn't been giving him compliments when he drove off._

_ "Fuck him anyway," he muttered. "Fuck both of 'em."_

_ He glanced up at the sky and scowled when snow began to fall again. He'd been pretty happy when he first realized that it would be snowing in New York, making it the first white Christmas he had ever seen, but that excitement had turned to dismay when he saw that cities fucked up snow. It was gray and slushy and when you stood to close to the side of the road it got splashed on you and it was gross._

_ He made a wordless noise of disgust with the whole situation and decided to go back to the hotel. Merle knew where he'd be; he could call if he wanted. Daryl turned and took a step._

_ "Oh!" a girl squealed as he sent her flat on her ass._

_ "Ah fuck," he said with a sigh. _

_ Now she was probably gonna yell at him. It wouldn't be the first time that day. When he'd been lost he'd had his share of horns honked and expletives shouted. He'd returned the favor obviously, but that wasn't the point. He was getting tired of interacting with these fucking Yankees._

_ Her purse had hit the ground with her and sort of exploded. He leaned down and snatched her cell phone up before a passing pedestrian could crush it. He knelt in front of her and held it out as a sort of peace offering. Before he could ask if she was all right though, she began talking._

_ "Thanks!" she said cheerfully as she scrabbled through the snow for the rest of her belongings. "Are you okay? I mean, I know you didn't fall down, but I noticed you before and you seemed kind of lost and I was actually going to ask you if you needed anything, but then you knocked me down and I sort of forgot. But do you?"_

_ "What?"_

_ He couldn't help it. He had no idea what any of that stream of words had meant. She had pushed back her winter hat and she was giving him a friendly smile and damn she was cute. She started over._

_ "No. No, wait," he cut in as he stood up. "That's…too much. Here let me help you up."_

_ He held out a hand and she took it._

_ "You don't eat much do you?" he asked as he pulled her to her feet._

_ "Sure I do," she said with a grin. "I was actually on my way to dinner. Now I think that changing clothes might be a better option. I've probably got dirt on me."_

_ She spun and tried unsuccessfully to look at her own backside._

_ "Do you see anything?"_

_ "Huh? Oh, dirt. No. Got some snow on you though."_

_ She brushed both hands over her ass and gave him a grin._

_ "Hungry?" she asked._

_ "I—"_

_ "I mean, I don't normally take strange men to dinner…but you seem nice. And lost, like I said before. I'd be happy to help."_

_ He looked at her more closely now that she was in her full, upright, position. She wasn't bad. Cute face, good body. She looked very Christmas-y too in dark jeans and a bright red coat that matched her hat and gloves. Too young for him, but she looked friendly and…goddamn, she was just so cute! It was pretty irresistible._

_ "Okay. Sure."_

_ "Good! Do you like Italian? I was headed there, but if you hate it we can go somewhere else."_

_ "Whatever you want's fine with me."_

_ "I like the sound of that," she said with a laugh._

_ He realized he liked the sound of the laugh. He liked her voice too. It was also a hell of a lot easier to navigate by following her practiced in and out weaves through the crush of pedestrian traffic. At one point, when they ran into a crowd of people obviously headed to a party, she reached out and caught the sleeve of his jacket with a smile._

_ "Don't want to lose you," she said. "We're almost there."_

_ "There" turned out to be a smallish Italian restaurant that was tucked back from the street. It wasn't too crowded and Daryl felt like he could breathe easier. The hostess lead them to a table right away and, feeling like he should be extra nice since he'd knocked her down, Daryl pulled her chair out for her._

_ "Thank you," she said with a flush of surprised pleasure. "I thought guys only did that in movies."_

_ He shrugged his coat off and draped it over the back of his chair before sitting down._

_ "We're just nicer where I'm from," he informed her._

_ She took her cap and gloves off and stuffed them down into her purse before shrugging off her own coat._

_ "And where's that?" she asked interestedly._

_ "South Carolina," he said. "Are you from here?"_

_ "All over really. I've got some family here though."_

_ "There's my Songbird!" A man's voice boomed out over the small restaurant._

_ She stood up and a huge Italian guy swept her into an embrace that brought both her feet off the floor. When the man set her back down he eyed Daryl with a not so friendly expression while keeping his arm around the girl._

_ "And who's your friend?"_

_ "Oh! Papa Tony this is…um…I don't know your name," she said with a smile. "I found him on the street looking lost in all the Christmas rush so I brought you a customer."_

_ This must have been normal behavior because the guy relaxed. "Tony Moretti," he said holding out a massive hand._

_ "Daryl Dixon," Daryl said, standing up to shake the man's hand. It didn't help much; Moretti still towered over him by half a foot._

_ "Not from around here are you, Daryl?"_

_ "No. I'm pickin' up my brother. He just got out of the Marines and he was stayin' with some friends."_

_ "Papa Tony please don't grill him," the girl said. "Can I have the fettuccini? And maybe some wine?" she asked with a glance at Daryl, who shrugged._

_ "A glass," Tony answered as he gave her a quick hug. "And only because I know you'll pout if I say no. What about you?"_

_ "Uh…" Daryl was taken aback. He hadn't even seen a menu yet. "Spaghetti." It was the only thing he could think of off the top of his head._

_ "I'll bring you something nice," Tony said._

_ The girl sat back down and smiled at him._

_ "That your grandpa?" Daryl asked._

_ "Sort of. He's my adopted grandpa," she said. "Sorry I didn't ask your name before."_

_ "I still don't know yours," he pointed out as he took a sip of water._

_ "Songbird," she said._

_ "That's your name?" He'd heard Moretti call her that, but he hadn't pictured it as her name._

_ She blushed and shrugged. "Well…no. It's my nickname, but I'm used to it. I actually like it better than my real name. I'm a singer. Not a big one, but I get by."_

_ "It does kinda suit you," he said after scanning her features. "So you bring lost people in here a lot? Thought he was gonna kill me for a second there."_

_ "Yeah I actually do. Mostly tourists. He wouldn't kill you. He's a teddy bear, but don't tell him I said that."_

_ "Don't worry darlin', I ain't about to walk up and call that guy a teddy bear."_

_ She smiled and said, "So for Christmas the Dixon brothers are doing New York? That sounded dirtier than I meant it to," she admitted when he raised his eyebrow. "I mean you're here in New York."_

_ "For Christmas the Dixon brothers are driving home from New York," Daryl corrected._

_ "What about presents? What about a nice dinner and movies and music and all that?"_

_ He was surprised that she seemed genuinely distraught._

_ "If it makes you feel better we'll listen to Christmas carols on the way back," he said._

_ Her mouth drooped and he saw what Moretti was talking about. It was hard to say no that face. He hurried to fix it._

_ "I mean…we might just stay here and drive back the day after Christmas."_

_ Her face lit up brighter than the tree in Times Square._

_ "I think you should! I could go shopping with you if you want…or tell you where the good stores are if you want to get him something! I'm not doing anything…." she trailed off. "I'm being pushy. I'm sorry."_

_ "It's okay. I gotta go by my hotel after this and see if he called, but if you want to meet me there we could go."_

_ "Sure. Where are you staying?"_

_ He named the hotel and she wrote it on the palm of her hand._

_ "This way I can't lose my note," she explained._

_ "You haven't met my brother," Daryl commented._

_ She looked like she was going to question that, but Moretti came back with their food. Daryl didn't get spaghetti; he got thick beef stuffed ravioli._

_ "You seemed like a meat and potatoes kind of man," Moretti explained before he went back into the kitchen._

_ Songbird spun some pasta expertly between her fork and spoon. Daryl put a bite of ravioli in his mouth._

_ "Good God that's good," he said in surprise._

_ "It's no Chef Boyardee," Songbird agreed with a grin as she sipped the wine a waiter brought them. "Better drink up. It'll keep you warm on the way back to your hotel."_

_ Rather than admit he'd never been a fan, Daryl took a drink. It wasn't half bad. This wasn't turning out to be the piece of shit day he'd thought it would be._

_ Shopping with her wasn't bad either. She'd walked back to his hotel with him in the end so he wouldn't get lost. When he'd found a message from Merle that said he'd decided to stay with some friends and he'd be at the hotel in the morning, Daryl wasn't as pissed as he might have been otherwise._

_ She led the way around the city and pointed out fun shops, pretty decorations, cute kids, and stylish outfits. In short, she chattered like a magpie and he was surprised by how much he liked it. She was funny and she was smart and she was totally different from the women he knew back home._

_ When the snow, which had stopped while they were in the restaurant, started again she extended her arms and tilted her head back._

_ "Oh come on!" she said with a laugh. "Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to live inside a snow globe?"_

_ Actually he was wondering what it would be like to kiss the snow off her lips. He was wondering just how warm she was under that coat. He was wondering…how old she was. She had to be legal. That Moretti guy had let her drink._

_ The question was answered when they passed a crowded, bedecked liquor store._

_ "I was going to get Papa Tony some rum," she said. "But they'll card me. Will you do it?"_

_ "Uh, sure," he said, his hopes sinking._

_ "The joys of being one year under the legal age to buy alcohol never cease," she said with a grin._

_ So she was twenty. Not too bad. That wasn't too young. It was only…he calculated…about 17 years younger than him. Shit. Oh well. It didn't mean he couldn't enjoy this night._

_ "You want me to walk you home?" Daryl asked when they were finally tired of fighting crowds and she said her nose was turning into an icicle._

_ "Would you be able to find your way back here?" she teased._

_ "I'd make it. Come on, it's late; it's a fuckin' crazy city. A pretty girl like you—"_

_ He stopped just a few words too late._

_ "I'd love it if you walked me home," she said shyly. "I'm staying with Papa Tony."_

_ It didn't take too long to get there. It was actually way too short._

_ "Well," he said. "Thanks for showin' me around. And for not gettin' pissed that I knocked you down."_

_ "It was an accident," she said, waving it off. "I could tell you were a good guy."_

_ "How?"_

_ "I don't know. There's just something about you. I knew I could trust you. And you saved my phone from the mad crowd. And pulled my chair out at the restaurant. I had a good time. You're my all-time favorite stray tourist by the way."_

_ "I'm honored darlin'," he said, placing his right hand over his heart._

_ She stood quickly on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. He stood stock-still, shock making him unable to react. The kiss was over as quickly as it had begun and she waved once as she disappeared behind the door._

_ He walked home feeling cold for the first time that night. He paid for another night in the hotel because fuck Merle and his plans anyway and then sat down by the window. The snow was still coming down. At home there would have been fireworks in the trailer park for Christmas Eve. He sighed and rested his forehead on the glass._

_ What the hell had he been thinking? She'd kissed him for God's sake! Why hadn't he buried his cold hands in all that red blonde hair and taken her mouth until she asked to come back with him? Why had he stood there like a fuckin' moron?_

_ Christmas morning dawned clear and with no sign of his brother. Daryl cussed Merle out loud all through his shower and in his head during breakfast at a cheap diner. The eggs were like rubber and the toast was burnt and the coffee was disgusting._

_ "Merry fuckin' Christmas to you too," he muttered as he left the place._

_ He didn't want to sit in his hotel room all day and he found himself retracing the steps he'd taken with Songbird last night. Without her, it was just a crowded city of jackasses though. He toyed with the idea of going to see her, but what would he say? "Sorry I stood there like a dick when you kissed me. Want to go for it again?" Not fuckin' likely._

_ He walked back and called Merle at the number he'd left him last night._

_ "What?" Merle grumbled into the phone._

_ "You still sleepin'?" Daryl asked incredulously. "Hell, I been around half the city by now."_

_ "You probably wasn't doin' what I was doin' last night," Merle answered._

_ Daryl could hear the self satisfaction in his voice. Damn right he wasn't._

_ "You said we was leavin' today," he reminded him. "I had to pay for another night." That wasn't true, but Merle didn't know it._

_ "Hell, we'll leave tomorrow," Merle said. "I'll pay you back."_

_ "Right."_

_ "Go find somethin' to do baby brother. Find a woman. Couldn't hurt you none."_

_ The phone clicked and Daryl heard the dial tone._

_ "Merry Christmas big brother," he said sarcastically._

_ Then because he was an idiotic glutton for punishment he went back to his room, ordered pizza, and watched 'It's a Wonderful Life' followed by 'Miracle on 34__th__ Street' and then 'Love Actually'._

_ It was the last one that did it. He had to see her again before he left. Maybe he could get some poster board and a radio. He could see the signs now. "Hi. Remember me?" Next sign. "I'm the guy that's way too old for you." Next. "You probably think I'm a shitty kisser." Next. "But I'm not." Next. "Want to fuck me for Christmas?"_

_ "Okay that last one might not work," he said as he stood up. "But hell, it ain't like it's gonna matter after tomorrow."_

_ He grabbed his jacket and headed down the street before he could change his mind. Of course he got lost. Five people asked him for money, three people asked him about his religion, seven people tried to sell him bootleg merchandise, and one out of the fifteen knew the street he needed and how to get to it. By the time he got there it was dark. The house was dark too._

_ "Fuck!" he yelled._

_ It was New York, so nobody really noticed. He sat down on the porch steps and put his head on his knees. Of course, this was the point where it started to snow again. He pulled up the hood of his jacket and sighed. _

_ He'd been sitting like that long enough to develop a cramp when he heard, "Um…are you okay?"_

_ It was her. He unwound himself quickly._

_ "Oh! Daryl!" she said happily. "I—"_

_ He didn't let her finish. Instead he cupped her face in his hands and brought his mouth down onto hers. He felt her start, but she didn't pull back. Instead she parted her lips sweetly and clutched the back of his neck as if she was afraid he was going to let her go. She shouldn't have worried. He kissed her like he couldn't ever remember kissing anyone else. He kissed her until he couldn't breathe anymore and had to pull back._

_ "Oh," she whispered. "Oh wow. Where was that last night?"_

_ "I don't know," he said honestly. "But there it is now."_

_ "I'm glad," Songbird answered shyly. "I kept hoping you'd come back."_

_ "Shit," he said with a grin. "If I had sense I wouldn't have left. Wanna spend what's left of Christmas with me?"_

"So did you?" he asked when she took a triumphant sip of her whiskey.

"Sure," she said, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"What'd we do?"

She laughed and said, "A lady doesn't discuss such things."

"Always leavin' out the good parts," Daryl said as dipped his head. Right before his lips caught hers he whispered, "Merry Christmas darlin'."


	96. Chapter 92

1.

Songbird's heart leapt into her throat at the sight of them. One was reaching toward one of the chickens. It moved away. The Walker growled.

"What's-" Ashley's words ended in a gasp and she scrambled back up the small embankment when she saw the Walkers.

"Look," Songbird said. "They're...falling apart."

Some of them were trying to crawl toward her, but they weren't having much luck. They'd obviously never been, for lack of a better term, indoor Walkers. Two years of dead flesh didn't weather the elements well.

"You're right," Ashley said, wrinkling her nose. "Without the skin to shield it their muscle tissue is deteriorating. Their brains might be driving them but their bodies can't respond anymore."

Songbird twirled her machete artistically, yet absently as she thought about the implications. One of the Walkers reached for a hen that had wandered too close. She tossed a knife into its skull and what was left of the arm it was reaching with fell harmlessly back onto the leaves.

"Okay. So I'll pick these off with my knives and then we'll round up the chickens," she said.

"I think they're all probably like this," Ashley said. "It...it might be over."

Songbird couldn't help but grin at the thought. "Or at least the trend may be on its way out," she agreed.

2.

"What're you doin' to my truck?" Daryl asked when he wheeled himself into the garage.

"Just looking," Axle said, not bothering to come out from under the hood. "You've sure keep her in good shape."

"Yeah. Leave it alone."

"Needs some transmission fluid," Axle said. "Oil change couldn't hurt. I thought I'd help you out since you can't do it yourself, if you follow me."

Daryl grunted, all the acknowledgment he planned to give. He couldn't do it. He couldn't even see over the hood from his wheelchair and he couldn't get underneath it to change the oil.

"You ain't got any of that shit anyway," he said somewhat smugly.

"Asked your girl and the pretty little nurse to pick some up while they're gone."

"Eyein' the nurse?" Daryl asked.

"Don't hurt to look. Songbird's a sexy little thing herself."

"Watch it."

"Now I ain't saying anything bad. Just saying that she looks good. A little skinny, but there's nothin' wrong with that."

"I never said there was. I hope you ain't under the impression that I can't do you some serious damage from this chair."

"Don't get so worked up. I'm just complimenting you. And her. How'd you even get somebody that much younger than you anyway?"

"I knocked her down. She's been followin' me around ever since. I don't think you should try that with Ashley though."

"I didn't take you for the type to hit a woman." Axle did look thoroughly surprised.

"I didn't hit her. I just put her off balance. It was in the very beginnin' of this whole thing. I was a little paranoid back then."

Axle laughed and nodded.

"So you gonna let me change the oil or not?"

Daryl sighed. "I guess so. If they find any. They ain't back yet?"

"Ain't heard nothing. I'll tell your girl that you're looking for her though."

"Appreciate it. Seen Rick?"

"Same place he's always at," Axle said, with a nod in the direction of the watchtower. "Think that wife of his rattled a few of his marbles loose before she left if you follow me."

Daryl did.

"Where's the kid?"

"Messing around in the garden last I saw."

Daryl wheeled himself outside. Carl was in the corner of the garden eying the tomato plants.

"Ain't gonna grow faster with you lookin' at 'em," Daryl informed him.

"Worth a shot," Carl said. "Where'd Songbird go?"

"Chicken huntin'."

"Hope she finds some. I miss eggs."

"Me too," Daryl admitted. "She thought about takin' you along."

"Stupid cast." Carl glared down at his leg. "Ashley says it can come off soon though."

"Good. Then I can send you to get shit for me instead of botherin' my woman all the time."

Carl gave him a quick smile. "I don't think she minds."

"Nah. She's a good one."

"When are they supposed to be back?" Carl asked when Daryl squinted out toward the gate.

"Didn't say. I'm guessin' she's got enough sense to get back before dark though."

"Are you worried about her?"

"No. Yeah. What about you? Think they've made it to Kansas yet?"

"Should have," Carl said. "I've been counting the days. Unless something went wrong, they've had enough time."

"Lucky bastards," Daryl said. "What'd you say to your mama to get her to let you stay anyway?"

"I told her that if she made me go, I'd just sneak out as soon as I could. That I wanted to stay with Dad. That I was tired of listening to them argue and Dad needed me more than she did. She had everybody and he'd be by himself."

"So, a guilt trip?"

"Yeah. But I meant it." Carl looked up at the watchtower. "Not that he notices me."

"Hell, he ain't noticed nobody. He's just kinda fucked up right now. Can't take it personal."

Carl only shrugged and then said, "What about you? Do you miss them?"

"Yeah. The dog," Daryl said. "And some of the rest of 'em too. Come on kid, gotta be somethin' better to do than this."

"Greg and Lily left the Uno deck," Carl said. "Wanna play?"

"Better'n chess," Daryl agreed.

"Yeah. I probably won't beat you so bad at Uno."

"Let's go, shit talker," Daryl said. "And don't think I didn't see that kiss Lily gave you before she left."

Carl went beet red.

"Yeah. Play hardball with me, see where it gets you," Daryl said smugly.

3.

"Chickens!" Songbird yelled happily over the prison yard as she held a bag of squawking, annoyed poultry up in the air.

"No shit?" Axle asked in surprise.

"Well...only the chicken kind," she said with a grin. "I also have interesting news on the Walker front. Where is everybody?"

"Rick's in the tower. I saw Carl and Daryl head inside...something about cards. Ya'll got anything for me?"

"About half an auto parts store," Ashley said as she opened the tailgate.

"What's that?" Axle asked, pointing at the tarp wrapped lump.

"A boar," Songbird said smugly. "Ashley killed it. I'm going to see if I can get a shower before Daryl sees me. He'll freak out."

She snuck down the hall quietly.

"You're back," Daryl called after her.

"Dang," she whispered. "Hi!" she didn't turn. "I found chickens and there's a surprise in the truck and I'm-"

"Why ain't you lookin' at me?"

"Um..."

"Turn around."

"Um...okay. But don't freak out. I'm fine."

His mouth dropped open when she turned to face him. Her face was smeared with rusty looking blood and her shirt was coated with it. It was also torn across her ribcage and he could see several dark bruises forming there.

"What the ever livin' fuck were you doin' out there?" he asked.

"Well there was a boar and it knocked me down-"

"A boar?" he repeated. "Boars don't...I've never been attacked by a boar in almost 30 years of huntin'!"

"Well, this one was mean I guess. It charged at me and knocked me down. Ashley killed it. With a scythe. That's why I've got blood all over me. It was kind of like that scene in Blade where they have the rave and the sprinklers are all full of blood. Except gross for me personally, because I'm not a vampire."

Daryl rubbed his forehead tiredly.

"Okay. Just...go wash it off. I'm gonna be out here. Pretendin' that everything was okay and you didn't almost die."

"Oh!" she called when she was near the showers. "I brought it back with us. So you know...bacon!"

"That the surprise in the truck?"

"Nope. There's another one, just for you, you get it later though."

Well, he thought resignedly, at least that was something.

The rest of the day was spent butchering the pig. It pissed Daryl off that he couldn't really do anything to help. It pissed Rick and Axle off to be told consistently that they were doing it wrong. Basically, by the end of the day, Songbird was sorry that she'd brought home the boar. When it was finally done and they were back in their room, Songbird said, "I've got something that will cheer you up."

"New legs?"

"Something that makes it hard for everyone to use their legs," she corrected as she opened up the pack and tilted it so he could see in.

His eyebrows went up when he saw the wealth of liquor.

"Well shit darlin'," he said. "You don't really have to get me drunk to have a good time."

"But it's a much better time when you're tipsy."

"I don't get tipsy. That's you. And it's cute as all get out."

"Let's have it then," she said with a smile as she handed him the bottle.

She poured two cups of amber liquid and he watched her drink. As he'd expected, she made a face. As he'd also expected, it didn't take much to put her to sleep. He finished off the rest of one of the half empty bottles and got comfortable. Maybe he'd sleep better tonight.

4.

He slept pretty well...for a while. Close to dawn though, Daryl woke up from a very unpleasant dream—in which he was tied to a stake, unable to defend himself from little red cartoon devils, complete with horns, that had buried their pitchforks in his guts and were twisting them like spaghetti—to find that they really were. Or at least it felt like it. He pressed his shoulders to the mattress to try and push himself upward. That sent a whole new agony spiraling through him.

"God damn," he whispered as he tried to stay as still as possible. It didn't help. The agony grew. "What the fuck?"

"What's wrong?" Songbird asked sleepily. "Bad dream?"

"Bad reality," he corrected between clenched teeth. "You got anything you wanna say to me, now's the time. I think I'm dyin'."

She sat up and looked at him. It was very early morning and there wasn't enough light to see him clearly. She could see his outline. One hand was clenched in the sheets, the other was on his midsection.

Her brain tended to click a little better than his in the early morning. She gasped and reached out quickly to press her palm into his abdomen.

"Mother fucker!" Daryl bellowed. "Jesus what the hell?"

"Do you feel that?" she asked in excitement.

"Fuck yes!" he yelled. "What the hell are you-"

"I'm going to get Ashley!" she jumped off the bed and ran down the hall.

"Ashley!" she said, barging into her room

"What's going on?" Ashley sat up and blinked at her.

"It's happening! He's getting some feeling back! Also...we need pain pills."

She dashed back up the hall. Rick was standing there staring into their room.

"What's going on?"

"Daryl's getting some feeling back!" A particularly loud curse from inside the room made Rick raise an eyebrow. "Well, he probably doesn't see the good side right now."

Ashley brushed past both of them quickly.

"Good God tell me you've got drugs," Daryl said.

"I do. I need to examine you first."

"Fuck that. Drugs."

She sighed and handed over two pills. Daryl didn't wait for water. He threw them down his throat and dry swallowed like an addict who'd gone without out for a few hours too long. Ashley pulled the sheets back and poked him in the stomach.

"Fuck! What is wrong with you people?"

"How far does the feeling extend?"

"Feelin'? Feelin'? This ain't feelin' this is..." suddenly it occurred to him. "Feelin?"

"Yes. How far?"

"I don't know. It hurts everywhere. My back...my stomach...uh...lower than my stomach."

Ashley couldn't help but smile at his very nearly shy way of phrasing that.

"Okay, so that's a lot of sensation. I'm guessing that you've put too much stress on your injury. That's what's causing the return of sensation to be so painful. That's why I kept telling you to take it easy."

"Don't give me that told you so shit," he said. "Think I'm bein' punished enough."

"I'd agree," she said, covering him back up. "We'll probably have to start an IV."

"It's not going to get better?" he asked, trying not to sound desperate.

"Not soon," she said. "Sorry, but I really did warn you."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but fuck off."

"We'll see how these do; I'll be back to check on you in a little while."

"Is he going to be okay?" Songbird asked, worry finally seeping through under the excitement of the past few minutes.

Ashley nodded. "Yes. But that's going to be a lot of pain. He's been pushing too hard. He's strained his stitches and-"

"So get the IV."

"I'm getting it."

Daryl heard the conversation vaguely through a growing haze of agony. The pain wasn't stabbing him anymore. It was more like it was crawling. Like snakes. There seemed to be a nest of them at the base of his spine. Every now and then one slid down his leg. The pain was venomous.

He didn't remember Ashley putting the IV in. All he was aware of was the pain and the great effort it took to stay quiet. He knew Songbird was there. Every once in while he felt her hand on him somewhere. His hair, his forehead, his chest, once, in a moment of brief triumph, on his thigh. The pain wouldn't abate though. Whatever was in that IV had to be good shit, and it was barely making a dent. He despaired of ever feeling better in his life.

_"Well, well, baby brother."_

_ "Hey Merle."_

_ "You look like you're about to cry," Merle said conversationally._

_ "Fuck you."_

_ "Just pain baby brother. Hell, I cut off my own damn-"_

_ "Hand. I know. You think you've got the corner on the market on pain? You don't. This hurts like a motherfucker."_

_ "Better'n not having feelin' isn't it?"_

_ "I don't know."_

_ "Got feelin' where it counts now don't you?"_

_ "Yeah."_

_ "So then things've gotta be lookin' up for you."_

_ "Don't exactly feel like fuckin'."_

_ "You will. You're doin' better baby brother. Knew you'd pull through."_

_ "How come you're nicer now that you're dead?"_

_ "Must be part of that better place you're always hearing about. Proud of you."_

_ "Yeah?"_

_ "Yeah."_

_ "Miss you sometimes, Merle."_

_ "Yeah."_

The rest was a medicated blur._  
><em>


	97. Chapter 93

1.

"So how's Daryl doing?"

Songbird turned in surprise at Rick's question.

"He's pretty out of it because of the drugs, but Ashley says that's normal. Once he heals from doing too much, he'll have to learn to walk again and we both know how much he'll love that. But he's going to walk."

She couldn't keep a quiver of happiness out of her voice when she said that and Rick further surprised her by giving her a smile.

"How are you?" she asked. "You seem...um..."

Honestly, the fact that he was out of the watchtower was an amazing improvement. The smile was icing on the cake.

Rick ran his hand through his unruly hair and said, "All right. I guess."

"Carl's been a big help," Songbird said. "He's a better medical assistant than I'll ever be."

"Really?" Rick looked surprised.

"Yep. Ashley pretty much booted me out of the room when I couldn't do the IV. Are you...headed for the watchtower? 

"No," he answered with a sigh. "I think it's time I came down for a while."

"It's good to see you again," she admitted. "I've been kind of worried about you. Honestly, about all of us. We're sort of used to you making the decisions."

"I haven't been doing a good job."

The matter of fact tone in his statement took her off guard.

"What?"

"I broke up my family because I was jealous and angry. Carl might never see his mother again. I might never see my daughter again."

"That was Carl's choice," Songbird said. "And Rick, you had every right to be jealous and angry. You don't have to stay with Lori just for the kids. I think it'd be worse for Carl if you did. I know I'm not the best person to give advice, but something is broken between the two of you."

Rick nodded and braced his hands on the fence, looking out over the empty space outside the prison.

"We were in counseling once," he said. "Carl was about 8 and things had gotten pretty bad. She was miserable. I didn't know why. She wanted a divorce. I talked her into seeing the counselor. I don't know. Maybe I should have let her go. It's been broken for a long time." He paused and sighed before he admitted, "I'd forgotten what it could be when it was right. When she came to me on the road after I lost Lucky I thought maybe we could rebuild. Instead...it was worse. And that was partly my fault. I blamed her for the one thing she couldn't change. I wanted her to be Lucky. I'm not even really surprised that she went back to Shane."

His hand tightened on the fence and Songbird nodded. She wasn't surprised either, but it didn't seem like the time to say it. It also probably wasn't her place. She hadn't even witnessed it first hand. Andrea had been the one to tell her about the distance that had grown between Rick and Lori once they'd left the farm and moved into the prison.

"What are you going to do if he comes back?" she asked.

"It depends," Rick answered as he turned to look at her. "On what he does."

He patted her shoulder and said, "I'm glad Daryl's going to get back on his feet."

Then he turned and walked into the prison. Songbird shivered but she still considered it progress. Now if Daryl would just wake up things might get moving along again.

2.

_Two Weeks Later_

The discomfort woke Daryl up. He squinted glance around the room told him that the IV was gone. He took a cautious breath but the agony didn't return. There was still an ache in his lower back and a tight pain in his stomach, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. And he could feel it. He wriggled his toes and then pushed himself into a sitting position against the wall.

He could feel his legs; he could wiggle his toes. Maybe he could stand up too. He gripped the iron bed frame and slid to the edge of the mattress. He sank his teeth into his lower lip and pulled himself upright. It lasted for about a second before his knees buckled. He tightened his grip and tried again. A little longer this time. Even longer the next time. He was proud of himself until he realized that his arms were shaking from the strain. Basically, he wasn't putting his weight on his legs. He sighed.

"What are you doing?"

Ashley's voice, so sudden and so clearly shocked, made his grip loosen and he sat down a bit harder than he'd intended.

"I was thinkin' I might go find Songbird," he said casually.

"So you like being hooked up to an IV?" she asked. "You like missing a few weeks of your life?"

"A few weeks?" he asked. "The fuck?"

"I had to keep you under so you could heal what you ripped open! You've been out for about two weeks."

"Well shit. Anything good happen?"

"Rick came out of the watchtower last week."

"That's good. Where's my girl?"

"In the garden with Carl."

"She all right?"

"Yes. She functions like a grown up, believe it or not."

Ashley shoved him back down onto his back and bent down to examine his stomach.

"How's it look?" he asked; he ignored her obvious irritation. He wasn't gonna take shit lying down and she'd just have to get used to it.

"A lot better. So you can feel everything?"

"Yeah." Daryl couldn't keep from grinning.

Ashley cleared her throat and said, "I mean...really...everything? It's all in working order? No concerns?"

It was a second before he caught her meaning.

"I, uh, ain't had time to try it out," he answered. "How about I let you know?"

"As your doctor I'm informing you that you aren't healthy enough for sexual activity."

He raised an eyebrow.

"You need therapy."

"It's pretty damn therapeutic," he argued.

"It's also stressful on your injury site."

"Look, I don't know where you think I got shot but-"

"These muscles," Ashley traced her finger over his abdomen. "Are your core muscles. They control everything. _Everything_."

"How about you put me back under till I can get laid?"

She gave him a half smile and shook her head. "Exercise is the only thing that'll make it better."

"Well, let's get to it then," he said, sitting up again.

"I'm still in the research stages of the right therapy," she admitted. "I'll get back to you."

"Hurry it up. I got shit to do."

"I'll do my best," she said dryly as she left the room. "And I'll tell Songbird that you're awake."

Daryl figured she must have gone straight and done it because less than five minutes later, his Songbird flew in.

"Daryl!" she squealed.

"Hey darlin'."

She crawled onto the bed carefully and gave him a gentle hug. He wrapped his arms around her and rolled her underneath him. The tight pain tugged again, but he knew he wasn't in any serious danger. Fuckin' core muscles.

She laughed and raised her lips expectantly. He obliged. As he kissed her and felt her hands move down his back as she shifted a bit underneath him, he realized that he could tell Ashley that everything was functioning as it should. And that kind of sucked.

Songbird drew back a bit with a sparkle in her eyes.

"So," she said, arching her hips against him and earning a near-desperate growl of pleasure from his throat. "Should we-"

"My doctor says I ain't healthy enough."

"Feels healthy to me," she said in disappointment as she wriggled out from underneath him.

"Yeah well, me too." He kissed her again in jubilation. "It might seem crazy, but just knowin' that I can makes havin' to wait a little easier."

"I never doubted you."

"I know. But everybody knows you're a fuckin' optimist."

She laughed. "You make it sound like a disease. What about walking?"

"She says she's gotta figure out the right kinda therapy. You gonna help her with that?"

"Oh no, I'm not a medical assistant trainee anymore," she said, and told him the story of the failed IV.

"That's all right darlin'," he reassured her. "You're good at lots of other shit."

"Thanks. So are you." She leaned over and kissed him again. "Too bad you can't show it off yet."

"Damn straight," Daryl agreed ruefully.

3.

Several weeks into Ashley's tentative therapy plan Daryl wasn't as impressed as he'd hoped. He still had to use the wheelchair by the end of the day, and while Ashley said that was pretty impressive, he disagreed. He wanted to go hunting and he sure as hell couldn't do that while he still needed a wheelchair.

One day about three weeks in, he'd been so annoyed that Songbird decided he needed a little extra pick-me-up.

"Hey there, handsome," she said when she found him sitting on the steps between floors in the prison. "How's it going?"

"Fuck therapy," he growled.

"A cheerful attitude is always helpful," she acknowledged as she sat beside him.

"Says the girl who can bend like a goddamn pretzel."

She twined her fingers through his and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I've got a surprise for you."

"Do I have to move?"

"Yes. Yes you do."

"Then fuck it."

"Pleeeeeeeeease."

"Fine. Pull."

She helped him to his feet. He winced. She did too.

"It's all right," he said to alleviate the worry in her eyes. "Just catches sometimes."

She gave him a smile and started up the steps.

"Get your ass back here and give an old man somethin' to lean on," Daryl barked.

Songbird obliged with another smile.

"You're really going to like this," she chirped optimistically.

When they stopped outside the bathroom Daryl gave her a confused look.

"Look, I appreciate it, but I don't exactly need you to take me here anymore."

"Trust me."

She led him into a room full of steam.

"I got permission to turn on the generator, everyone else has already showered, and we've got the place all to ourselves."

"So it's summertime in an overheated prison and you made a sauna?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think this is the best-" he stopped talking when she tugged her shirt off and spun it around over her head before she walked backward toward a shower. "I love you."

"I love you too." She wriggled out of her jeans and stretched exaggeratedly before stepping around one of the shower partitions.

Daryl yanked his wife beater off and headed after her as she tossed her bra and panties onto the floor. When he stepped around the partition she reached out and caught him by the belt as she kissed his neck.

"Why are you doin' this to me?"

"Oh, I don't know," she said, standing on tiptoe to kiss him. "Why not?"

"Cause it's mean," he answered as she unzipped him. "Ain't talked to Ashley about this...not that I spend my time talkin' to her about sex."

"I appreciate that," she muttered as she nibbled at his earlobe and slid the jeans down. "But here's the thing...I had a little talk with her earlier."

"About sex? I ain't gonna say it ain't hot but I will say I'm surprised."

"About _me and you_ sex."

"Oh. Guess I'll get over the disappointment in time," he teased.

"Well, I'm here to help."

He pushed her back under the hot water and covered her mouth with his.

"By the way," she whispered as his hands slid up to cup her breasts. "You're under orders to take it easy."

"I'll take however I please," he informed her. "I finally get my I-saved-your-life-sex."

"That's a good point," she acknowledged as she trailed her fingers down his stomach. "How many more scars do you plan to collect?"

"Many as it takes to keep you safe. Besides, you're catchin' up." He ran his finger down her arm.

"More kissing, less talk."

"That's my girl."

She moved her hand down further and found him already hard.

"Ah now, that's my girl," he groaned when she began to stroke him slowly. "A little faster darlin'."

"Where's the fun in that?" she asked as she reached over for the soap she'd looted on her last trip to town. "Turn around."

He raised an eyebrow.

"I know this is a prison shower..."

She laughed and ducked behind him as she began washing his back. Daryl stepped forward a little to get right underneath the heat pouring from the shower head. The warm water began to loosen the tension in his muscles and her soapy hands did the rest.

"God yeah darlin'," he groaned when she began kneading his tense shoulders. He had to brace his hands on the shower wall to stay upright, it felt so good. He hadn't realized how tight his back and shoulders had gotten from a couple of months of overuse and bed rest. It had been lost under more significant pain.

Songbird worked her way down his back, admiring how much more muscle he'd gained from having to use his upper body so much. His arms had benefited especially and his sleeveless shirts had been driving her to distraction for several weeks.

She was glad he seemed to be enjoying this. More than enjoying actually...she thought that if he was a cat he'd be purring by now. As it was he couldn't seem to hold back several groans. It was making her crazy with desire, but she was determined to give him all the pleasure he could handle before she got down to business.

She rubbed down along his shoulder blades, tracing his tattoo gently before adding pressure to her movements again. His head dropped forward a little as he sighed in relief. She moved lower and he started to tense up a little.

"I'm not going to hurt you," she told him.

"I know. I ain't worried," he lied. In secret he was terrified that something might bring back that god-awful pain he had only vague memories of, but he wasn't about to tell her that.

When her fingers got to his lower back he was stunned by the sudden flood of pleasure as she worked out the tension there.

"Fuck," he whispered raggedly.

"Did it hurt?" Songbird asked worriedly. She'd asked Ashley and she'd said it would be fine...

"No. Just don't stop okay?"

She saw his hands clench when she rubbed the heel of her hand across the small of his back, but the groan of raw pleasure that followed told her more than words could have that she wasn't hurting him. She kept it up until the painful tension had melted from the muscles of his back.

"Better?" she asked as she ducked under his arm to face him.

He cupped her face with both hands, brought her forward under the shower spray with him, and kissed her deeply. The hot water poured down over them as she parted her lips for him, as his tongue teased hers, as his hands moved down her back to cup her ass. He sucked her lower lip between his teeth as her hands slid through the water pouring over his chest and stomach to find his cock again.

"Better," he said roughly. "Don't think I've ever felt this good."

"I have," she said, as she kissed water droplets off of his jaw and licked them from his throat. "But only when you're inside me."

"I can fix that," Daryl replied as her hand moved slowly from the head of his cock to the base and started back up again. He couldn't take anymore.

He kissed her once more before spinning her around. Songbird braced her hands on the shower wall and leaned her head back onto his shoulder when he put one arm around her chest, pulling her against him with a tight grip. She felt his other hand slide down her side to her hip.

"Please," she whispered. "God, Daryl, please. I've missed you so much."

"Missed you too darlin'," he answered as he lowered his head and kissed her neck, up to the place right under her ear that he knew she loved. She groaned and pushed her body back against his eagerly. He obliged her by pushing deep in one thrust. "Goddamn I've missed this."

Songbird wasn't really capable of speaking. She moved one hand from the wall, grabbed his free hand, and put it over her mouth. She heard him laugh, but she only congratulated herself for thinking ahead. They might have the bathroom to themselves but the acoustics in the room were pretty good, and Rick, Axle and Ashley probably wouldn't appreciate hearing her scream as she came.

Daryl braced his other hand on the wall beside hers. As much as he wanted to hold onto her, he also wanted more stability. He wasn't exactly planning on that whole "take it easy" thing. He pulled back until she whimpered and then shoved back inside her. She screamed for the first time, and he resolved to make damn good and sure it wasn't the last.

He nipped at her neck sharply and fucked her as hard as he'd been imagining since he'd woken up. Her body tightened around his in a remarkably fast orgasm and she screamed his name against his palm. He loved knowing that she'd been just as desperate for him as he'd been for her. Putting his lips at her ear he whispered, "Good girl. Ready to do that again for me?"

She nodded nearly frantically and arched back against him. He saw her hands clench when he moved hard enough to jar her whole body. He wondered if it was going to be too much, but she moaned in pleasure so he kept it up. She wasn't long in cumming again for him. And again. And again.

His stomach muscles were killing him and his knees were weak long before he really wanted to stop, but Songbird was shaking and he decided that he'd proven himself enough for one day.

"One more?" he asked as he wrapped his other arm around her again.

She nodded so he moved faster. This time when she screamed, he groaned along with her as he let her tightened muscles push him over the edge.

"Oh fuck yeah," he groaned.

Songbird was afraid to lean against him too much, but she wasn't sure how much longer she could remain upright so she leaned her forehead against the wall between her hands as she felt herself start to shake harder. She'd forgotten the amazing intensity of being with Daryl.

"Hey." He turned her around and tilted her chin up. "You okay?"

She threw her arms around him and buried her face against his neck as she nodded.

"You're so perfect," he heard her mutter against his skin.

He laughed, but he was still a little worried about how hard she was shaking. He thought back to how she'd washed his back and how relaxed it had made him. He remembered how much she loved her hair being played with.

Daryl stepped under the water again and pulled her with him.

"What are you..." she trailed off when he poured some shampoo into his hand and started rubbing it into her hair. "You don't have to do this."

"I know. But we're in the shower; we might as well use it."

She didn't argue further. It was undeniably delicious to have his hands in her hair. She realized how he must have felt when she was rubbing his back. A little decadent, and wonderfully cared for. She closed her eyes when the time came to rinse the suds out of her hair.

"Ready to go to bed?" he asked when she was soap free.

"Bed?" she asked in surprise. "It's not even dark yet."

"Yeah, well...my doctor's always hasslin' me about restin'," he said with a grin. "And I got this hot woman to take back with me."

"Bed sounds perfect," she said as she turned the water off.

A/N: Okay people who read this story, I have a question for you. Is it time for Desolation Song to end? I have an ending in mind that could end this story in a chapter (and an epilogue) Or, I could keep going, because I do have some other ideas that I think might be interesting. But I really want your **honest opinions **because (I think) that there is nothing worse than a story that drags on far beyond its time. So please be honest and I won't be offended or angry if I get comments saying that the story's time is done. Majority will rule so please let me know what you think!


	98. Chapter 94

1.

Songbird stole Daryl's shirt because it was long enough to cover her without having to add any extra clothes. For one thing it was hot. For another she didn't think that she'd remain dressed for long anyway. Daryl smacked her ass and handed her the rest of her clothes as he pulled his jeans on.

They headed up the hallway slowly. Songbird knew that Daryl hated it that he had to put his arm over her shoulders to stay steady, but she didn't mind. They passed Ashley and Rick in the hall outside Ashley's room so Songbird gave her a thumbs up. She shook her head with a smile. Rick raised an eyebrow at Daryl and Daryl gave him a grin just before opening the door to the cell he shared with Songbird.

She'd been right about the shirt. It came off within seconds of the door closing. Daryl's jeans hit the floor as she dropped her bundle of clothes. They were both aware that he wasn't really up for another round just yet, but it didn't mean they couldn't enjoy each other.

He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her as she pushed him gently toward the bed. She knelt over him when he rested his back against the concrete block wall by their bed and buried her fingers in his hair.

"I just want to take this moment," she said as she kissed down his neck, "To say..." she ran her tongue up his throat to just under his ear.

"Yeah darlin'?" he asked as his hands tightened on her hips.

"I told you so," she whispered, making her voice low and sultry.

He smacked her ass and laughed.

"Guess you did," he admitted. "I gotta ask you something though...and I expect you to tell me the truth."

"Okay," she said, uncertain of the new, hesitant tone in his voice. "I promise."

"If I hadn't...if I never coulda...would you have stayed?"

"Yes."

The answer was so prompt that he drew back enough to try and see her in the dim light.

"You don't believe me?" she asked.

"It was a fuckin' fast answer," he replied.

"I knew you'd ask eventually," Songbird said with a smile. "Yes. I would have stayed with you whether or not you ever walked again. I would have stayed just as committed to you even if we never had sex again. I would have lived my life in this prison just for a chance to live it with you."

"Well," Daryl said after a moment. "That pretty much covers everything don't it?"

"I meant for it to," she said. "We have more important things to do."

"Oh," Daryl said as he put her underneath him, having decided that he might be up for round two after all. "One more thing..."

"Hmmm?" Songbird questioned lazily as he moved down her body with a trail of kisses that left her skin tingling.

"Thanks."

2.

About a month after that, Songbird was crouched in the garden with a bucket she'd found in the back of the prison. She'd planned to fill it with tomatoes. Instead, when she'd plucked the first red, ripe, heavy, juicy, she-still-didn't-believe-it-was-a-fruit tomato from the vine she couldn't help but bite into it. And, having bitten into it, she wasn't exactly going to let it go to waste, so she'd crouched behind the sparse cover of the vines and begun to eat.

"Where you at?" Daryl called when he glanced around and didn't see her. She'd enlisted him to help with what everyone hoped was the first harvest, and now she was nowhere in sight.

"Over here," she said in a muffled voice. "Go over to the cucumbers and I'll meet up with you in a second."

Instead two long strides took him over to the vine and she glanced up guiltily.

"Hi," she said, her mouth still full.

"Cheater," he said affectionately as he crouched beside her. "They good?"

"So good!" Songbird answered, holding up what was left of the tomato she'd plucked. "Taste."

Daryl caught her wrist and drew her forward, but he didn't bother to bite into the tomato. Instead he pressed his lips to hers. She parted her lips and he could tell that the tomatoes did have a clean, fresh taste. It wasn't as good as her, but it was damn good either way.

"Fuckin' delicious," he murmured against her eager mouth.

"Hey!" Rick called. "We haven't gotten a decent day's work out of either one of you in about a week. Hands where I can see 'em."

Daryl felt Songbird smile when he laced her fingers with his and raised their arms while he continued the kiss.

"I've got a ripe tomato and I'm not afraid to use it," Ashley joined in.

Songbird sighed and pulled back.

"Ah you give in too easy darlin'," Daryl said.

"I've never heard you complain about that before," she said with a wink that made him chuckle.

She plunged her hands into the prickly green vines under Rick's mock-stern gaze and began filling the bucket. Daryl did the same and they moved down the row quickly.

"What are you doing?" she asked when he dropped several small, green tomatoes into the bucket.

"You're gonna fry 'em," he said matter-of-factly.

"People really do that?"

"Oh my God. You've never had fried green tomatoes?" Ashley asked from across the row.

"No," Songbird said casually. "Is it really such a big deal?"

She turned back to Daryl, but he only shook his head sadly. She turned again to see that Rick and Carl were looking at her with pity in their eyes. Axle was in the guard tower, but she had a feeling that even he would have judged her.

"Okay," she said, holding up her hands. "I will eat them. I will, doubtless, love them."

Everyone nodded firmly so she made a mental note to never speak ill of the fried green tomato even if it was totally disgusting. When they got to the end of the row, she picked her heavy braid up off her neck and fanned it energetically, but all that did was move the hot air around. She envied the hair cut Ashley had given herself last week. She thought the shoulder length bob was adorable and it would be so much cooler, but she knew Daryl would never go for that. She looked his way, prepared to be irritated, but he looked too good.

He'd taken off his shirt and tied it around his head to keep the sweat out of his eyes and Ashley's physical therapy routine was keeping him in even better than usual shape. He took a drink from his water bottle and Songbird felt herself swallow in rhythm with him. Or maybe her mouth was just watering. She shivered when he glanced her way. Maybe Rick could finish this up. She shook herself free of her haze firmly. No. No, they really hadn't done anything but each other lately. She had to be productive! She picked up another bucket and headed for the rows of squash and cantaloupe.

Daryl watched her go, unaware of the slight, reminiscent smile on his face. It had been a good morning. He snapped out of it when he noticed Rick looking at him with amused derision.

"What?" he asked.

"Just wondering if I'm the only one working," Rick said.

"Shit. The nurse is puttin' in some good time over there," Daryl pointed to where Ashley was filling a bucket with beans. "And your boy has been followin' her around like a puppy since he got that cast off."

"Really?" Rick eyed Carl, seeming to notice him for the first time in a long time. "He does know that she's about 15 years older than him right?"

"Yeah," Daryl said.

"Ya'll are a bad influence," Rick said with a sigh.

Daryl laughed and smacked him on the back.

3.

"Hey Daryl?" Songbird asked later that night as they lay as close as they could without touching to try and cool down.

"Mmm?" he drawled lazily.

"Do you think it's July?"

"Fuckin' feels like it."

"Do you think I'm twenty yet?"

"Might be," he answered.

"We'll go ahead and say that I'm officially not a teenager anymore," she said, sounding excited.

"Guess I'll have to go find me another girl soon. Gettin' old."

He caught her hand when she swung playfully for him.

"Very funny."

"Hell, I thought so."

He entwined his fingers with hers.

"You know what's weird?" she asked after a moment.

"What?"

"I love you more than I used to."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Don't make fun of me!" she ordered to counter the laughter in his voice.

"I'm not. Can't say I'm surprised though. It takes a while to get used to all the ways I kick ass."

"Well...when I first met you I thought I'd never love you more than I did nearly right away. And now I do."

"I don't think I love you more," Daryl said.

"Okay, maybe I love you a little less now," she said in surprise.

"No, I mean...I don't love you more, but I love you different."

"That sounds promising," she admitted as she gave in and decided a little extra heat was worth a few minutes of after-sex cuddling.

"You're plannin' on makin' me talk about my feelin's ain't you?" he asked resignedly.

"Yes. Yes I am."

"All right, fine. But you have to go first."

"Well...I used to think that you were indestructible."

"And now you know it's true."

She laughed.

"Actually I'm starting to think so," she touched the scar on his stomach gently. "But that's not what I mean. I mean I had such a big crush on you and I was just so amazed that a guy like you wanted to put up with someone like me. I loved that you loved me and for a while that was good enough. But now, with everything that happened...I don't just have a crush on you...it's not just that I think you're awesome. It's that I know you're good and kind and strong. I got to know your heart and...well...who you really are in the face of everything has just made me love you more."

"Guess it's kinda like that for me too," he said after a moment's thought. "I liked takin' care of you. Liked how you stood by me no matter what I did...how you thought I was smart even though I'm not...like Rick..."

"Why would I want you to be Rick?"

"He's the leader. He's a cop. Well...he was. I don't guess it really counts any more since we've all been out of a job for a long damn time. But he ain't a redneck and that's my point. But you didn't care and I really liked that."

"And now?"

"Now...I'm with a girl...woman...who can drop five Walkers in less time than it takes me to load up Mary Jane. A woman who can shoot almost as good as me, who slings those machetes around like she's a fuckin' ninja, who can climb like a cat and bend like a pretzel and who fucks like a pornstar."

She laughed when she heard the smile in his voice.

"Anyway, I ain't as worried about you as I used to be and it makes lovin' you a hell of a lot easier."

"So we both kind of grew up then."

"Guess so."

"Celebratory second round?"

"Hell yeah darlin'."

4.

"We've got to talk about something," Songbird said at breakfast the next morning.

"What?" Rick asked when she focused her gaze on him.

"Shane."

"What about him?" Daryl asked.

"Where is he? It's weird that he just disappeared like that. We know what he planned to do. Why isn't he doing it?"

"Maybe he died on the road," Carl said.

"And maybe he didn't," Ashley countered.

"What are the odds that he'd be able to get those people in line anyway though?" Axle asked.

"Pretty easy," Songbird said. "They've never had to fight for themselves. They've always been protected by someone. I'm not sure they can function _without_ a leader."

"So what are you getting at?"

"I want to go home. I want to head back to the compound. There's no reason to stick around anymore."

"I think she's right," Carl said. "And if he showed up at the compound we could take him out even easier."

"Taking him out isn't exactly the point," Songbird said. "The point for me is that maybe we won't have to take him out. We can just go. Maybe he's happy where ever he is. We know we're happy at the compound. Right?"

"I'll think about it," Rick said noncommittally.

"Figured we'd head out in the fall," Daryl said. "When it ain't so hot, in case we have to walk."

Songbird gave him a smile and resolved to wait patiently.

5.

"Are you sure you should do that?" Ashley asked at breakfast close to the end of summer.

"We gotta eat," Daryl said.

"And it's been quiet around here," Rick added.

"And I can take care of things around here," Carl put in.

Songbird saw Rick's gaze flicker over his son worriedly. She tried to flash him a confident I-won't-let-your-son-die look, but he didn't glance her way again. She was a little worried, but she also really needed to speak with Ashley so she gave Daryl a hug and a kiss and waved as he and Rick headed out after breakfast.

"You all right?" Daryl asked as he swung the crossbow into the bed of the truck.

"Guess so," Rick answered. "Just thinking about Carl."

Daryl raised an eyebrow as he cranked the truck.

"Songbird says that the Walkers are...I guess dying? I don't know exactly how to put that. But I guess you know what I mean." Rick waited for Daryl's nod before he went on. "But what about Carl?"

"I don't think he's dyin'."

"I know that! I mean...this is finally ending and he can't even bring himself to go hunting with his dad. He was talking about taking out Shane. As much as I hate Shane, he was practically Carl's stepfather. He's always watching. Always waiting."

"Hell, so am I."

"You're 40 years old."

"38."

"Whatever. You're a grownup. You had a childhood."

"Do you realize who you're talkin' to right now?"

Rick sighed.

"Look, I get what you're sayin'...but the worst thing you're lookin' at is Carl turnin' out more like me than you. Ain't the worst thing in the world."

"I'm not saying it is. What I'm saying is that I always thought that, when this ended, Carl would shake it off."

"I think we was all hopin' we'd just shake it off. You gonna tell me that you're gonna walk into a house without a loaded gun from now on? That you're gonna nod and smile when you meet a stranger on the street?"

"No. But we're adults. It's different for us. You don't understand because you don't have kids."

"You've got me there," Daryl admitted. "I think Carl's turnin' out fine though. He needs to be different. It's a different world. Now, we huntin' or are we bitchin'?"

6.

Songbird chewed her lower lip and stared at Ashley.

"You _cannot _tell Daryl."

"Doctor patient confidentiality decrees that I can't tell Daryl. But why aren't you telling Daryl?"

"I don't know. I mean obviously I'm going to tell him. It's just that, if I do it now, he'll flip out. He said not till we got back to the compound. If I tell him he won't let us leave for the compound."

"Well it's not just your fault."

Songbird narrowed her eyes at Ashley. "It's a baby; it's not anybody's _fault_."

"Okay, badly worded. And I'd say you're a little hormonal."

"Sorry."

"Here, you can have this. Maggie left it."

"What to Expect When You're Expecting. Where should I start?"

"You're right about...here," Ashley said, flipping through the book until she got to the one month mark. "My professional opinion is that it happened in the shower."

"Oh my God. Does everybody know when we're...um..."

"You're living in a prison with three other adults who don't get to have sex. Yes. We know."

"Well that's icky. And I'm sorry."

"No hard feelings. You're the one who's going to be throwing up."

"Yeah. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to hide that. I think I'm going to take a walk around the fences and fabricate excuses for being nauseated. Or talk myself into telling the truth."

"All right. Just be careful."

"Oh please don't start. Daryl will break out the bubble wrap soon enough."

Ashley laughed and nodded. It would have been impossible to deny. Songbird walked into the yard, baby names on the brain. She still liked Robert for a boy, but there were a million possibilities for a girl. Maybe she could loot a baby name book. Maybe-

"Hey there Songbird."

"Shane."

A/N: I wanted to say thanks for all the comments I got on the last chapter and let you know that I can appreciate and understand all the concerns about possible relationship issues between Daryl and Songbird. I hope this chapter clears that up (among other things that some of you wanted to see). Hope you all enjoy and again, thanks for the comments!


	99. Chapter 95

He held his hands up when he saw her fingers move toward her knives.

"I'm unarmed. I'm alone. I'm not here to hurt you."

She slid a knife free of its sheath anyway and looked him up and down. He really didn't look armed. At least no more than the shotgun and he'd be stupid to walk around without it, even if the Walkers were falling apart.

"I just want to talk to you."

"Then talk."

"Can I come in?"

"No."

"Come on, Songbird."

"I said no. And it's not just because you might be insane. If Rick saw you he'd shoot you on sight. I'm not sure Carl wouldn't do the same."

"And we both know Daryl isn't going to ask questions if he finds me talking to his woman," Shane finished with a slight smile.

Songbird felt her lips quirk upward in response. Rough start or no, she and Shane had become friendly once she'd come back to the prison and she'd been worried about what had happened to him. It was nice to see that he was alive, even if her heart felt like it was trying to burst through her chest with fear.

"Exactly. Did you find Woodbury?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And it's mine. They were scared. They needed someone to step up."

"Walker fights?"

"No. I'm doing the right thing by them. I only came here to…" he sighed and grasped the chain link. "I want to make things right."

"With who?"

"Everybody. Rick. Lori."

"Lori?" Songbird scrambled for something to say. "Lori…died. We, um, were attacked."

After the initial shock passed over his face, he studied her closer.

"You're not telling me the truth."

"Yes I am," she lied desperately.

"They left didn't they? Back to the compound?"

She saw his knuckles turn white on the fence. 

"Shane…" She heard her voice waver and cursed herself silently.

"I'm scaring you." He forced his grip loose and pushed his hands through his dark hair. "I didn't come here to take Lori back with me. I didn't come here to hurt anybody. I came to talk. I waited for you because I figured you'd give me the best shot. Come on, running buddy. One last favor."

"Every minute you're not catching a bullet through the brain is a miracle."

"Think I don't know that? I've got a town to run; I can't afford to die now. Songbird. I need you to do this for me."

She chewed her lip till she tasted blood. His dark eyes were steady on hers and he looked…normal. Stable. The way he'd looked at the compound when everything was okay.

"Fine," she had just begun when she saw a dust cloud in the distance. "Oh no! That's Daryl!"

Shane glanced back, and then looked at her without moving away from the fence. At least she knew that he was serious. What he was serious about was the problem though. Making things right? Killing them all? The truck got closer. He still wasn't moving.

"Oh fine! Meet me at the gate after dark; we'll talk in the watchtower."

"Thank you—" he began.

"If you hurt them," she cut in quickly. "You can't imagine what I'll do to you."

"You've got my word," he answered before disappearing into the woods.

"Hey there darlin'," Daryl called when she met them in the garage. "Miss me?"

"Always," she said with a grin as she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a kiss.

"Miss me enough to help me skin stuff?"

"Never," she answered, even though she knew she would anyway. "What did you get?"

"Two deer, couple rabbits, a duck."

"A duck?"

"Yeah." He sounded defensive. "You've ate duck before."

"No I haven't!"

"Sure you have. Told you it was chicken. You kept sayin' it tasted funny."

She sighed.

"Hell, it's high class in some places. Take it."

She took the duck. "It was so pretty."

"Yeah, it's gonna taste pretty too."

"Apparently it's going to taste pretty funny."

"Sit down an start pluckin'."

"Why do I have to pluck the duck?"

"You don't wanna pluck the fuckin' duck?" he asked with a grin.

"It's like Dr. Seuss. If he wrote for weird redneck grownups."

"Just like it. Have fun darlin'."

To her relief he walked away to start skinning the deer. One secret had been bad enough. Now she was keeping two. Songbird held the duck at arm's length and sighed. She really didn't want to pull of all those pretty feathers. Or smell blood. Her stomach twisted.

"Carl!" she called when he walked by.

"Yeah?"

"Your dad's back. Go to the truck and pluck this duck." The rhyming was fun, but it was probably getting out of hand.

"Okay." Carl took the duck and headed out to the yard with it.

Songbird retreated hastily before Daryl could catch her. She had to find something to do with her time until nightfall or she'd crack like an egg the minute he asked her how her day was.

She took a cold shower and then, when they were still in the business of slicing into animal flesh in the yard, she decided to go back to her room and read. She tugged the thick pregnancy manual out from its hiding place in the pack she'd looted on the last trip out and flipped open to the part Ashley had indicated and skimmed over the chapters.

Then she flipped ahead to labor and delivery. A few pages into the chapter the book was shoved back into the backpack with a shiver.

"I'll read later," she promised as she laid her hands on her still-flat abdomen. "For now, you be good and stay where we put you, okay?"

"Who ya talkin' to?" Daryl asked from the doorway.

She snatched her hands away from her stomach before she pulled the sheet curtains back.

"Myself," she said giving him what she hoped was a convincing and adorable grin. "What are you doing?"

"Nothin'. Just lookin' for the whetstone. Halfway through the deer and that knife needs a little more edge."

When he turned she saw that his hands and arms were bloody. Her head swam suddenly and the scene faded to black.

Daryl wasn't close enough to more than shove her backwards as gently as he could with his shoulder so that she fainted onto the bed and not the floor.

"Fuck, shit, fuck," he muttered as he wiped his hands on the rag he kept in his back pocket. It was pretty much coated with deer blood already, so it didn't do more than smear it. "Fuck!" He wiped his hands on his jeans and then sat down beside her. "Songbird?" He tapped her pale cheek gently, then a little more forcibly. "Darlin'?" No response. He shook her shoulder. "All right damn it. Wake up. Wake the fuck up, Xenia Marie!"

Her eyes opened and she made a face. "Why are you real-naming me?"

"Why the hell are you passin' out? Is it the blood?"

She covered her mouth as the iron smell assaulted her nostrils, but she managed to nod.

"Never bothered you before."

"Get out! Please. Please just go wash your hands. Actually all of you."

"But I ain't done. And I ain't sure I oughta leave you."

"Do you want to get thrown up on?"

"No."

"Then go!"

He wanted to stay, but he was pretty damn bloody and being thrown up on wasn't his thing. She looked miserable sitting there with one hand plastered over her mouth and nose.

"I'll send Ashley back in then."

"Okay, just…just…"

"I'm goin'."

"I love you!" she called after him.

"Love you back," he answered.

Once he got to the yard he found that Axle had decided to help so he begged off and ducked into the shower.

"Thought Ashley was stayin' with you," he said when he came in to find her reading.

"She came in, but I told her it was fine." The weight of his stare forced a sigh free from her lungs. "Oh Daryl, it wasn't a big deal."

"You passed out! You don't never do that shit."

"It's the heat."

"It's not as hot as it has been."

She shrugged in a what're-ya-gonna-do type of way but she could tell by the set of his jaw that her nonchalance wasn't rubbing off.

"Please don't worry. I'm sure it's a onetime thing. Everyone probably passes out at least once."

He sat down beside her and tugged her braid.

"Worried about you."

"Don't," she said firmly. "I'm fine. Ashley examined me and everything is exactly the way it should be."

"Hell, she ain't even a doctor. Shoulda left for the compound before now."

He looked so miserably worried that she was tempted to tell him what the problem was, but she couldn't do that yet.

"Please Daryl. I'm feeling fine. I'll prove it."

"How?"

"Sort of like this." She straddled him and lowered her lips to his.

"Not gonna work."

"Oh really?"

She slid her hands down his bare chest, still damp from his shower, to the front of his pants.

"This part of you disagrees."

He started to say something, but she rubbed the palm of her hand over his cock and brought it from interested to desperate.

"Fuck darlin'."

"Yes sir," she said with a mock salute as if it had been an order.

He stood up and she wrapped her legs around him as he pushed her back against the bars of the cell. She reached up and gripped the bars so that he could let her go and pull her pants down.

"You're sexy as hell, you know that right?"

"I know you're lookin' and talkin' when you should be inside me," she drawled back in a damn decent southern accent.

He unbuttoned his own jeans and kicked them into the corner as he stepped forward again. She slid down a little and he grabbed her hips to push into her.

"See?" she asked as she nibbled at his ear. "Don't I feel all right?"

"Better," he answered as he yanked her down closer to thrust deeper. "Goddamn darlin'."

She tilted her head back to let it rest on the bars as he moved. She felt his lips on her throat and she couldn't help but moan when his teeth closed not quite gently on her sensitive skin just as he gave her a particularly forceful bounce on his cock.

She got a tighter grip on the bars above her head and worked her hips.

"God I love how you move," he growled as he dipped his head to her breasts.

"You're not bad yourself," she answered as the first tingles of what should be an amazing orgasm rippled through her body.

The rest of the day was uneventful and she even managed to eat supper which seemed to ease Daryl's mind. She was full and pleasantly tired by the time they went to bed that night. Then she remembered Shane.


	100. Chapter 96

Songbird kept her mouth shut until she heard Daryl's breathing deepen into a pattern that told her he was asleep. She eased into a sitting position and started to move toward the edge of the bed. He rolled over and she held her breath. It was okay. She was an idiot for having made these plans with Shane when she slept with the world's most paranoid survivor. She might just be an idiot to have made plans with Shane period. If he killed her she was going to be so pissed.

Getting out of the prison was pretty easy now that Rick had relaxed his obsessive watch. She'd actually heard him talking to Ashley when she'd passed the door to the nurse's room. She didn't have time to deal with the intrigue there though, she was too sick with nerves. Or maybe it wasn't nerves. Although she knew the baby was much too small for it to matter, she put her hand over her stomach again as she took a deep breath and stepped into the prison yard.

There was a dark form down near the gate and she headed toward it with a knife at the ready. She was nice, but she wasn't stupid.

"Shane?" she called softly.

"Yeah."

She unlocked the gate and he helped her slide it back.

"Watchtower," she said once the gate and lock were in place again. "Hurry please."

He jogged easily across the yard and she followed him up to the top.

"I can't believe you really let me in here," he said with a smile.

"We both know I'm a sucker," she answered. "Tell me why you're here."

He sat down and leaned his head against the wall.

"I really fucked things up," he said finally. "I…things with Lori…but it wasn't even really about her. Not when I really thought about it. It was about Rick. And me."

Songbird couldn't stop the shocked look that passed over her face, or the blush that crawled up her cheeks.

"Not like that," Shane said when he read her face. "I'm not in love with Rick or anything crazy. It's just that…you didn't know us before this whole thing."

"You and Lori were together before this whole thing though," Songbird said, forgetting that he'd never actually told her that. She bit her lip when he looked at her with his eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry! I overheard it one night. I didn't tell anyone else. Just Daryl. But nobody else!"

"Just Daryl?" Shane shrugged lightly after a moment and said, "Well, he never talks to anybody. And it doesn't really matter anymore now."

"I guess not."

"They went back to the compound didn't they?"

"Shane—"

"It's okay. I know you aren't going to tell me." He gave her a small smile and tugged her braid. "But you have to know by now that you're a terrible liar. Just tell me something. Was the baby all right? There wasn't an attack was there?"

"Yes. No."

He nodded and then sighed. "I fucked everything up. Way back before the Walkers started. See…Rick…we've always been friends. Ever since high school. It was a small town; my parents liked him a lot more than they liked my other friends cause he was always so damn steady." He gave a soft laugh. "Reliable Rick. I played football, tried to convince him to loosen up and come to parties with me on the weekend, had sex with the English teacher—"

"Really?" Songbird cut in.

He gave her a grin and nodded. "And Rick went to school and then went to work after school and saved his money and graduated right in the middle of the class and became a cop."

"So did you."

"Well, I became a cop. My grades weren't as bad as they would've been if Rick hadn't been my friend. I only got him to get drunk a few times. And then, in college, he met Lori. They were steady from the beginning."

"Did you always love her?"

"No. I didn't really care one way or the other in the beginning. She was the girl keeping my buddy in on the weekends and hell, I guess I thought she was pretty boring. Then they got married. Did you know I was their best man?"

Songbird shook her head.

"Yeah." He gave a bitter, soft laugh under his breath. "I don't really know when it started…but I fell for her. She and Rick, they'd been fighting for years, ever since Carl was a little kid. She thought he was boring. She wanted some spontaneity. Some…heat. And I…" he sighed. "I wanted what he had. God, the first time…that first night…"

"Shane you don't have to tell me this," Songbird said, even though she was curious as hell.

"I want to tell someone. I'm going to go back to Woodbury. I know damn good and well that Rick's past his limits where I'm concerned. I want someone to understand how I did what I did. Why I did it. You're one of the only people that treated me like a normal person. Like I wasn't…and then with you and Mackensie…I thought you might be the one who understood."

Her cheeks burned as she thought about it, but she only nodded. "I don't mind listening," she answered.

"Rick and Lori had been married for a long time the first time something happened between me and her," Shane began.

_"Where's Rick at?" Shane asked when he got to the house for the Fourth of July barbeque._

_"Working late," Lori bit out as she ripped open several bags of chips and upended them into a big red, white, and blue bowl. "Thought you'd be there too."_

_"Nah,." When Lori gave him a narrow look he went on. "It's just paperwork. It's not like I walked off when someone had a gun to his head. It won't take him long anyway; the only reason he's bothering is because Lambert's new. You know Rick, always looking out for the other guy."_

_"Unless the other guy is his wife." Lori sighed and pulled several three liters of soft drinks from the refrigerator. "People are going to be here any minute and he promised that he'd be home to do the grill."_

_"I can do that."_

_"That's not the point Shane! The point is, his word is good as long as it isn't to me! And when I try to point it out later he'll tell me how important his work is and how things have to be done a certain way and it won't mean one damn thing that he's missing out on everything in his life!"_

_Tears spilled down Lori's cheeks._

_"Hey," Shane said soothingly. "Shhh, Lori, it's all right."_

_"It's not just the barbeque. It's everything lately. It's Carl's soccer games. It's date night. It's sex. I shouldn't have said that."_

_Shane cleared his throat. He didn't want to know that about his buddy. He was also surprised to find that he could picture himself taking care of Lori's frustration._

_"I'm not even sure he still loves me."_

_He didn't know what to say._

_"And it doesn't even matter," Lori continued as she took a swig of the wine she had sitting on the island. "Because...nevermind. I don't even know why I'm talking to you about this. You said you could get the grill?"_

_"Yeah I can. Are you sure you're all right?"_

_"No," she admitted._

_"Come here."_

_He pulled her against him and she snuggled into the embrace._

_"Oh Shane."_

_"It'll be okay, Lori," he said, tipping her chin with his fingers. "Buck up." She sighed and gave him a small smile. as she tightened his arms around her. His head lowered; she glanced up at him. Her eyes went wide with understanding, but she didn't move back.. That is until the back door slammed. Shane let her go and she spun around._

_"Hey Mom!" Carl called. "Shane! I didn't know you were here! Awesome!"_

_"Yeah," Shane said, aware that his voice was unnaturally loud. "Hey buddy! Want to help me with the grill?"_

_"Sure!" Carl grabbed a tray of hamburger patties and headed out. Lori busied herself with icing a cake. and Shane went out onto the deck with Carl._

_The party was awkward. Rick got there right as it was nearly over, basically just in time to change out of his uniform and have a beer with the guests as the fireworks started._

_"You should've been here man," Shane said when Rick walked over to him.. "It's not your job to mess with all the new guy's paperwork."_

_Rick only shrugged. "Somebody's got to do it."_

_Shane made sure to excuse himself early, not sticking around for the other beer Rick offered and walking quickly out to the carport._

_"Shane!"_

_"Yeah Lori?"_

_Then...her lips were on his and her arms were tight around his neck and he was pushing her back against his truck as he drank in the taste and feel of her. When they broke apart several minutes later they were both shaking._

_"I have to go Lori."_

_"Yes. Yes okay."_

_They'd tried to make it like it never happened, but it was impossible. He could feel the heat when they were in a room together and then one night she showed up on his doorstep. Rick had asked if he felt like having a beer, but Shane had declined in favor of the bottle of Jack at home._

_"Shane, we need to talk."_

_"Talking isn't what we need." It was probably the Jack Daniels._

_"What?" she asked, but there wasn't any confusion in the question._

_"Maybe we should just do it. Get it out of our system. Get rid of the tension once and for all."_

_"Maybe," she agreed._

_He didn't allow himself to take another breath before he'd covered her mouth with his, devouring her as she yanked his shirt off. His hands were in her hair, on her skin, yanking her clothes off as roughly as he dared before finding her heated skin. Skin he'd been dreaming of lately. The forbidden skin of her breasts and belly and then lower, finding her wet and eager between smooth, firm thighs._

_She shoved him back onto the couch, too eager, or perhaps too scared to lose her nerve, to wait any longer. His jeans were still tangled around his boots when he grabbed her hips and pulled her down to ride him. She braced her hands on the back of the couch and rode him like she'd been born to do it. With her head thrown back, he could see her throat work as she cried out his name. He buried his fingers in her long dark hair and pulled to make her arch her back even more._

_"Yes!" Her hands moved from the couch to his shoulders where her nails dug into his skin._

_He groaned as he felt her body tighten around his._

_"Please, Shane, please," she gasped. "I need...I want..."_

_A quick few movements of his hand between her thighs was enough to make her scream in shocked pleasure as her hips worked frantically over him. She took him deeper and harder and when he came it was like a taste of heaven. He'd never had a woman so desperate for him, he'd never had an encounter so heated or forbidden feeling and it went to his head faster than the bottle of whiskey and made him feel ten times better._

_When it was over and he wrapped his arms around her trim waist, she laid her head on his shoulder._

_"Shane," she whispered once more. "God, as much as I've pictured it over the past few weeks...I never thought it would be like that."_

_"Me neither," he admitted honestly. "I'm not sure one time is going to be enough."_

_He tried to sound like he was joking, but she pulled back and kissed him again before she murmured, "I'm not sure either."_

"So you know the rest because you're sneakier than I thought," Shane said. "Any questions?"

"Why aren't you still crazy?" Songbird blurted out. "I mean you know...the last letter sounded nuts."

Shane made a face and nodded. "Yeah, I know it did. Here's the thing. In Woodbury they need me. I lived in Rick's shadow for a really long time and then, when he wasn't there I found out I could step up. I could do this stuff, I could be a leader and take care of Lori and then he came back and I couldn't even be happy about it because I was damn jealous that I couldn't see straight. It doesn't make me feel good to know that about myself, but it's true. Now I've got a purpose and I'm doing something that matters and I like the way that feels. It's time Rick and I took our separate paths and I need you to tell him how sorry I am for everything. I also wanted you to know that Woodbury is safe now. I know what you went through there." He touched her arm lightly over one of the ribbon scars. "And I wanted you to know that it won't happen again. You've been a good friend Songbird, and if you wanted to come to Woodbury we'd be happy to have you."

"We?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Her name is Sarah," he admitted. "It's kind of a new thing, but...it's working. You could meet her if you came back for a visit."

"I'm so happy for you!" Songbird threw her arms around Shane enthusiastically. "I was so worried about what had happened to you and it's so good to know that you're all right!"

"Come back to Woodbury with me then," he said.

"What the fuck's goin' on here?" Daryl's shocked voice said from the stairs.

Shane ducked just before the crossbow came up. Songbird flung her arms out quickly and said, "I can explain!"

"About goin' to Woodbury with Shane Walsh?" Daryl asked as he stepped the rest of the way into the small room. "Better be the best fuckin' story you've ever told me darlin'."


	101. Chapter 97

1.

"Okay," Songbird said quickly while Shane tried to get as much of his body behind hers as possible. "Shane's not crazy."

"He's tryin' to hide behind a girl who's 110 pounds soakin' wet," Daryl said. "He might not be crazy, but he ain't real smart neither."

"I just don't want to die when I've busted my ass to make things right," Shane said. "You give me your word that I don't get shot and I'll move."

Daryl looked thoughtful but in the end he lowered the bow. It wasn't easy, but with Songbird right in front of that jackass he didn't have much choice. He had woken up alone and spent a while waiting for her to come back. When she hadn't, he'd checked the reasonable areas of the prison, followed by the less reasonable. Only a lucky glance from the fire escape had told him someone was in the watchtower.

"Ain't gonna shoot you," he said grudgingly. "Get to talkin'."

"He's taken over Woodbury and he's sorry about the whole thing with Lori and Rick," Songbird said as she stood up. "Tell him Shane!"

"I've taken over Woodbury and I'm sorry about the whole thing with Lori and Rick," Shane said dryly. "I also really don't want to get shot. Did you tell Rick that your Songbird had escaped the cage?"

"No," Daryl replied. "And lemme tell you...I've missed the hell outta your jokes.. Now tell me what the fuck you're askin' my girl to Woodbury for."

"It's not like that!" Songbird protested.

"Damn right it's not!" Shane said. "She's way too young for me."

"And he's dating someone new now," Songbird said helpfully when Daryl scowled.

"She married?" Daryl asked.

"Not that I know of," Shane answered. "Haven't asked."

"Sure you ain't."

"All right come on," Songbird said. "Fighting isn't going to help. He just wanted to make things right."

"With you?" Daryl asked. "Why you? Why her?" he demanded from Shane when when Songbird looked baffled.

"I like her," Shane said. "Always have. I wanted to let her know that Woodbury is safe and that she doesn't have to worry about it anymore."

"Oh. Thanks. Guess you can go now."

He put his arm possessively around Songbird and jerked his chin at the door.

"Guess I can," Shane answered. "Ya'll should head back to the compound. I'm not going to chase you down. Come here kid."

He pulled Songbird out of Daryl's grip and gave her a hug.

"Take good care of her, Daryl," he said, giving Daryl a smack on the back once he'd let her go. "And good luck man."

"Yeah you too."

They walked down to the gate with Shane and watched him go on his way.

"Now you wanna tell me why the hell you didn't let me in on this?" Daryl asked..

Songbird flinched a little. "I'm sorry. It's just that I was afraid you'd shoot him. I trusted him. I was right," she pointed out hopefully.

"You coulda been wrong just as easy!" Daryl turned and walked back to the prison just as the first cracks of dawn spilled over the sky.

"I know," she answered as she followed him. "But I wasn't."

"But you could have been!" Daryl spun back around. "What the fuck were you thinking? Why the hell didn't you tell me? If you didn't wanna tell me then why not tell Rick at least?"

"Because I didn't want him dead! If you had seen him talking to me when you came back would you have shot him?"

"When I came back?" Daryl asked. 'You mean yesterday? From huntin'?"

"Yes. You didn't answer me."

"Yeah I guess I would have," he answered. "If hadn't, Rick would've."

"See? I believed him. I know him better than you do."

"You know him better'n Rick did?"

"Not at first. Maybe now. Rick wouldn't have given him a chance."

Daryl didn't answer. He simply turned and started back to the prison.

"Daryl, please wait!" She jogged after him.

"That what you fucked me for? To keep me distracted?"

"I did that because I wanted to! I wanted you to see that I was okay!"

"You gonna tell me why you passed out?"

"How can I? I'm not sure."

She wanted to tell him, but she was superstitious about it. Papa Tony and her mother had always believed that you shouldn't tell anyone until you were, as Papa Tony had put it, "Good and sure." She really didn't want to take any chances with this. Furthermore, she really wanted to tell him in a better place than a federal maximum security prison. She wanted it to be special and she felt like the homey setting of the compound was better suited to the good news.

He gave a derisive snort and opened the prison door.

"Please Daryl."

"Please what? Please be all right with you meetin' up with other guys behind my back?"

"It wasn't like that! You didn't really think-"

"For a second it looked awful fuckin' cuddley up there."

"It was just a hug goodbye."

"I know." Daryl shrugged. "Fine. Guess I'll just get used to you never tellin' me nothin'."

"I tell you plenty of things," she said defensively.

"Yeah. You talk pretty much sunup to sundown, but you don't tell me a damn thing that matters," he muttered. "No point beatin' a dead horse. Let's get everybody up and movin' out. Ready to be done with this place."

She followed him into the prison with a heavy sigh. It seemed that she couldn't win.

"Rick!" Daryl yelled.

"What?" Rick demanded after the second bellow as he shoved his cell door open.

"Gotta talk to you," Daryl said, unruffled.

"I can see that." Rick rubbed his hands over his face. "Do you mind giving us a second?"

Songbird peered over his shoulder and gave Ashley a wave. Daryl tried not to look surprised, but he could tell by Rick's amused expression that it hadn't worked. When the hell had that happened?

"Sure," Songbird said. "I'll start breakfast; you guys take your time."

"Looks like you ain't the only one that don't tell me nothin'," Daryl said on the way down the kitchen.

"Would you let it go? There was no good option okay? You wouldn't have heard me out if I'd said something and you know it."

"What's for breakfast?" Carl asked, opening his cell door and rubbing his eyes.

"Western omelets sound good to you?" Songbird asked. "We've got to get started eating some of those veggies."

"Sure. What's up? Why'd you want to talk to Dad?"

"Thinkin' about headin' out," Daryl said, hanging back to walk with Carl. They both moved a little slower than they used to. Carl's broken leg had healed just slightly crooked and Daryl's left leg went a little numb sometimes. "What you think?"

"I guess it makes sense," Carl said after a moment's thought. "I guess maybe Shane died or something."

"Something like that probably," Daryl agreed. "Ready to see your kid sister again?"

"Yeah," Carl admitted. "And Greg too. And I wonder if Maggie and Glenn's baby's here yet. And-"

"And Lily?" Daryl asked innocently.

"No," Carl said quickly. "I mean, I hope she's okay but...I mean I'm not...I don't...screw you Daryl."

Daryl laughed. "Sorry kid."

2.

"Sure, I'm ready to leave," Rick said as he forked up bites of omelet about half an hour later. "Everyone is healed up enough," he gave Carl and Daryl a questioning glance and when they both nodded impatiently he went on. "We're on the tail end of summer, we can take some fresh produce. Seems like a great time."

"Are we sure that I'm going to be welcome there?" Ashley asked nervously.

"Freddy wouldn't have asked you to come if he didn't want you there," Songbird reassured her. "He's a nice guy, but he's not going to let one person endanger the whole group. That's why he didn't want Shane coming."

"So when do we plan to leave?" Rick asked. "We need to make a few scouting runs, find some fuel, get a last harvest in, get last minute car repairs, pack..."

"Three days if we start now," Daryl said.

Rick nodded in agreement and they all began deciding what they were going to be responsible for. They had three vehicles, Daryl's truck, T-dog's truck, and a decent midsize car. The first day was spent scouting for fuel and a trailer to pull behind the truck so that they could take the chickens along without having to share sleeping space with them. One of the area barns got them a trailer and several extra crates.

Once the trailer was hitched to T's truck they had a light supper and all Songbird wanted to do was collapse into bed.

"We could start packin'," Daryl said as he swung the cell door closed.

"Or we could sleep." She could see by the way he was moving that his back was hurting. "Our stuff will be there in the morning and it won't help us to be packed if nobody else is."

"Guess you got me there," he admitted as he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled his shirt off.

She knelt behind him and began to rub his shoulders.

"How do you feel?'

"Better when you do that." He dropped his head into his hands and let her work her way down his spine.

"Do you forgive me?" she whispered.

He sighed. "Yeah. Don't know how much more I got in me, but yeah...I forgive you."

Hearing him say it that way sent a bolt of fear through her heart, so she tried harder to explain. "I"m just so tired of people dying. I wanted to save him you know?"

"Hell, I don't kill people for the fun of it," he pointed out. "Until this whole thing started I'd never even killed anybody."

Songbird laughed a little. "Yeah, me neither."

3.

The day after that, Daryl was under the hood of his truck with a wrench and a critical eye when he heard Songbird scream. He ran out of the garage and scanned the landscape for her. She was down at the gate, tugging as hard as she could to get it open.

"What are you doin'?" he called.

"Come help me!" she yelled back. "Hurry Daryl!"

He did as she asked. "Now what the hell are we...oh my God."

"I know! Hurry!"

He yanked back on the gate, ignoring the pain in his back until the opening was wide enough. Songbird opened her arms and Michelangelo barreled through the gate and into them at top speed.

"You came home!" Songbird buried her face in the ridge of fur at his neck and sobbed. "You came home! I've missed you so much!"

He snuffled against her hair and then turned to Daryl with a big doggy grin.

Daryl had to clear his throat before he could speak, but he wrapped his arms around Michelangelo just as tightly as Songbird had and said, "Glad to have you back."

"Look," Songbird said after a moment. "There's something wrapped around his collar."

Daryl tugged the paper free and handed it to Songbird who unrolled it.

_"Don't get mad at me. He's found a way out twice now and I've brought him back. It has helped us find holes in our defense system actually. At first I thought that maybe that was why he was doing it, but then I figured it out. He misses you and he's going to find a way back to you sooner or later. I tried! Everyone is safe, the trip back was pretty uneventful believe it or not. Took less than 3 weeks and only that long because it's getting harder to find fuel. Lily is doing a lot better; Dale found her a cat and she's really taken a shine to it. Be careful, and I hope we see you soon, Freddy."_

"So they made it back," Songbird said. "And you came back from Kansas by yourself. Crazy dog."

She sat down and he lay his head in her lap. Daryl sat down beside her and rested his hand on the dog's head.

"Crazy dog," he repeated. "We're fixin' to leave. You oughta have stayed where you were. We mighta missed you. Then what the hell were you gonna do?"

Michelangelo gave him a look that said, "Please. Like I can't find you wherever you are anyway."

Daryl laughed and rubbed the dog's torn ear.

"Come on," Songbird said, getting to her feet. "You need a good meal I bet."

MIchelangelo followed her eagerly and she scrambled a few eggs. She hadn't even known dogs ate eggs until she met him. Maybe normal dogs didn't...but her's could sure put them away.

4.

The next day they loaded up the vehicles and pulled through the prison gates. Daryl had spent some time over the summer teaching Carl to drive so he was behind the wheel of the car looking very proud of himself. They slid the gates shut and everyone looked at the prison walls for a moment.

Rick remembered how it had felt to see the place for the first time. To have a chance to keep people safe without having to picture Lucky around every corner. Ashley remembered how it had looked so much colder than Woodbury, but the people had been so much warmer. Daryl glanced from the building to his girl. They'd been through pure hell in that place and he wouldn't be sorry to see it in the rearview.

Songbird leaned against him and whispered, "I wonder if they kept Narnia open for us?"

"Damn well better have," Daryl said as he squeezed her shoulder. "Ya'll ready?"

"Let's hit the road," Rick agreed as he boosted Ashley into the truck.

Daryl allowed Rick and Carl to get on the road first and then cranked the truck up. Out of habit Songbird hit the "scan" button on Daryl's radio and static filled the air as they pulled onto the road behind Carl.

"And that was all the people who demanded something besides country," a voice suddenly said. "And by that, I mean me. Hope you enjoyed your break-"

The station scanned again because Songbird and Daryl were both too shocked to move.

"Fix it!" Daryl said quickly. "Go back!"

She did as he asked with trembling fingers and the voice continued.

"And as always, if you're out there feel free to stop by! We're a freindly little town and we're always growing. Exit 2 off of I-85 and then just follow the signs. All right, next up, and this one is for you, Jenny, Drift Away."

_"Day after day I'm more confused,_

_Yet I look for the light through pouring rain,_

_You know that's a game that I hate to lose,_

_And I'm feeling the strain, oh ain't that a shame?"_

Daryl and Songbird stared at each other in disbelief.

"It's..." she said. "There's a radio station!"

"I know!" Daryl laid on the horn and the caravan stopped. "Get your asses over here and listen to this!"

Everyone came over to the truck and listened for a second.

"Yeah," Rick finally said. "It's a good song I guess. I liked the old version better..."

"No," Daryl said impatiently. "It's not a CD! It's the motherfuckin' radio!"

"The radio?" Ashley asked as she leaned closer.

"And now, Seminole Wind for the rednecks," the DJ said, humor evident in his voice.

Everyone listened in silence as the music filled the air.

"That's near my house," Daryl said after a few moments.

"It is?" Songbird asked.

"Yeah. Well, I mean it might be. Exit 2 is close. Guess it depends on which way the signs point."

Songbird looked at him. He was chewing his thumbnail and jiggling his right leg.

"You want to go see don't you?" she asked quietly.

"Nah. Maybe. I mean, they don't sound crazy."

"Neither did the governor at first," Ashley pointed out.

"I want to go to the compound," Carl said, looking half ashamed of himself. "I'm ready to see Mom again."

Rick nodded and put his hand on Carl's shoulder.

"He's right," he said. "We've been wasting too much time here anyway."

"I'd rather go with Rick," Ashley admitted.

Daryl shrugged, but Songbird saw the tension in his shoulders as he said, "Yeah, okay. Just a thought."

"Let's go," she said suddenly. "Just to check it out."

"You serious?"

If she hadn't been before, the way his eyes lit up bolstered her resolve. Songbird gave him a smile and nodded.

"Yeah, let's do it."

Daryl raised an eyebrow at Rick and the rest.

"Are you sure?" Rick asked in concern. "I mean...I know the walkers aren't a big deal but..."

"Think we can handle it," Daryl said nonchalantly. "Ya'll got anything in the truck you're gonna need?"

"Songbird," Ashley said significantly. "Are you sure about doing this?"

"Totally sure," Songbird said firmly. "It's not like we won't be there a few weeks after you, right?"

"Okay," Ashley agreed. "But seriously, don't take any chances."

Songbird gave her a thumbs up and they said their goodbyes. Daryl made a three point turn and they headed in the opposite direction.

"Just us," he commented as Rick, Ashley and Carl disappeared from the rearview mirror. "kinda weird ain't it?"

"A little," she admitted. "I wonder if the interstate has been cleared. They were giving directions from it."

"Yeah," Daryl rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "They was, wasn't they? Want to give it a shot?"

"Not if we have another option. I almost died on an interstate highway."

"Really?"

"Yep. On my way through North Carolina. The guy that I was riding with got on the interstate. He never got off."

"Shit. What happened?"

"Somebody wanted the car," Songbird said. "They shot him."

"Where were you?"

"I was around behind the car. He'd asked me to get him a bottle of water. I heard the gunshots and when I saw him fall I ran."

"Damn. How come you never told me that before?" Daryl rested his hand on her thigh, surprised that she'd survived so much before meeting him. It was getting hard as hell to see her as helpless.

"What's the point?" she asked with a shrug. "It made me feel awful. Maybe if I'd been paying more attention he wouldn't be dead."

"You really think you coulda done somethin'? Two years ago? You think you coulda killed some guys in cold blood on the side of the road?"

"No," she admitted. "I couldn't have. Too bad they didn't feel the same way."

"Yeah, some people are just dicks," Daryl agreed with a half laugh. "You know how I said it was weird that it's just us?'

"Yeah?"

"Kinda nice too."

Songbird moved closer and he put his arm around her shoulders.

"I agree," she said.

Authors Note: Not many chapters left before the end. I'm happy/sad and a bit excited for another story idea I have. Hope you're all still enjoying this story!


	102. Chapter 98

"I think this looks pretty clear," Songbird pointed out about an hour and a half later. "Want to try to get on the interstate now?"

Daryl looked down the road and then nodded.

"Reckon it can't hurt."

To their grateful surprise, one lane of the interstate had been cleared.

"Shit," Daryl said in awe. "How many fuckin' people live in this damn place?"

"It must be a lot. This isn't easy work. Hey look! This is exit 1! We're almost there!"

"Yeah I know," Daryl glanced out over the bridge where the lake sparkled in the late summer sun.. "Hell it's actually prettier'n it used to be."

"Can we stop?" Songbird asked suddenly.

"What for?"

"To look. We haven't exactly had great scenery in a while, you know?"

"Good point." Daryl squinted through the windshield and up at the sun. "We got time. All right darlin'."

He pulled the truck over to a clear spot on the shoulder of the bridge and got out. Michelangelo jumped out eagerly and promptly began marking territory.

"I bet Kansas was soaked," Songbird said with a shake of her head as she watched him. She pulled her sweaty hair off of her neck and thanked God that she'd had the sense to make cutoffs of one of the prison jumpsuits. Bright orange might not be the most stylish look, but with the pants cut off at mid thigh and the sleeves cut out, it was the coolest thing she had. "The water looks nice."

Daryl caught a hint of a challenge in her smile.

"We could walk down the side over there-" he began, but she just kicked her boots off and raised an eyebrow.

"Or..." she said with a grin. "Catch me if you can."

Before he could form a retort, she'd hoped up onto the guardrail and taken a deep breath. Then, with that easy grace that he thought was sexy as hell, Songbird dove in. Michelangelo looked horrified.

"She's fine," Daryl said. "Look she's wavin'."

The dog didn't bother to respond before he jumped through the guardrail and hit the water with a splash.

"Nah, you ain't gotta wait for me," Daryl muttered as he untied his boots and pulled his shirt over his head. He had to take a second to empty his pockets, which gave Songbird time to shout general taunts about fear. His dive probably didn't look as good, but he managed to swim over underneath her and pull her down, so it was worth it.

"Hey!" she gasped when they both came to the surface. "What was that for?"

"Name callin'," he said. "It ain't polite." He ducked back under the water before she could retaliate.

The next time he tugged her under she wrapped her legs around his waist and gave him the sexiest look she could manage with her eyes squinted under the water. From the fact that he nearly choked laughing as they surfaced, she assumed that it hadn't been terribly sexy. From the way his mouth covered hers once he stopped laughing though, she assumed that sexy wasn't exactly what he was looking for in a woman.

She kissed him eagerly, until she felt them starting to sink.

"Shit," he said as he pulled back. "Guess I ain't the multi-tasker I thought I was."

"There's a perfectly good beach over there," Songbird pointed out as she pulled out of his embrace and began to swim.

Daryl followed her quickly. She was messing with the zipper on the jumpsuit when he caught up.

"I think it's stuck," she said with a frown.

Daryl wrapped her braid around his hand and tugged until her lips met his. The next thing Songbird knew her jumpsuit was unzipped to the waist and Daryl's mouth was moving down over her wet skin. She arched into his touch when his lips closed over her nipple as his hand slid under the waistband of her clothes.

"You're good," she managed to gasp out.

"Damn straight darlin'."

HIs jeans and her jumpsuit landed on one of the nearby rocks several moments later, but when Songbird moved to tug him down onto the ground Daryl shook his head.

"Don't know about you, but there's some places I don't reckon I want sand."

"So what are we...oh."

He boosted her onto one of the taller rocks and began kissing her neck again. In a few seconds her hand slid down his chest and she wrapped her fingers around his cock.

"I knew you'd figure it out," he said as she began to stroke him with light, teasing movements. "Come on darlin', you know how I like it."

"Yeah, but where's the fun in giving you exactly what you want?" she asked with a smile. "If I make it too easy..." she trailed off as he swatted her hand away and pushed inside her. "You don't do awesome things like that."

"You might know me better'n I give you credit for."

2.

"Daryl?" she asked a while later.

"Yeah?"

"I've been thinking about what you said about secrets."

"Really?" he moved his arm off of his face where he'd been blocking the sun, and sat up to look at her.

"Yes. I don't want to make it hard for you to love me."

"It ain't hard for me to love you. It's hard for me to trust you. That's different."

Songbird slid down off the rock they'd been lying on and walked over to their clothes. They weren't totally dry, but they were good enough. She pulled her jumpsuit on and tossed Daryl his jeans.

"I don't want to make it hard for you to do either of those things then," she clarified. "But I had some questions."

"Sure you did." Daryl pulled on his jeans and said, "Let's have 'em."

"What about...well...good secrets?"

"Are there good ones?"

"Yes! Like surprise parties." Daryl gave her a skeptical look and she rushed on, "And good news that you want to come at a great time. The right time."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess that's different. I'm talkin' more about shit that could get you killed."

"I understand why you were mad about Shane," she admitted.

"I get why you didn't tell me," Daryl said after a few seconds. "You probably did save his life. And you thought it was worth savin'."

"You really don't?"

"More now than I did. Guess everybody's got a purpose and I ain't gonna say Shane was a shitty leader in the beginnin'."

"Oh that's right! You knew him before you knew Rick didn't you?"

"Yeah. Me and Rick didn't have the best beginnin'."

"What about you and Shane?"

"Guess it was all right. He seemed like an asshole, but I didn't have any problems with him. Merle hated him."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. Merle was used to bein' in charge. Anyway, Shane did a pretty good job keepin' everybody in line and alive."

"He kept you in line?"

Daryl saw Songbird's eyes sparkle as she grinned at him.

"I went huntin' a lot. Can't tell me what to do if you can't find me. And it wasn't like he could complain 'bout me feedin' people."

"Very smart." Songbird glanced up at the bridge. "I wish I had my boots now. So many pine cones between me and that bridge."

"What you get for bein' impulsive," Daryl said with a grin. "I'd carry you piggy back if I thought I'd survive it."

"Is your back hurting?"

"Not right now. Like to keep it that way." He linked his fingers through hers and helped her up the embankment and onto the road as he whistled for Michelangelo.

Songbird was pulling her shoes back on when she heard the voices. They weren't close enough for her to be able to pick out words, but she heard a light laugh and the answering rumble of a deep, male voice. She straightened up and listened closer.

"Daryl," she called softly when the voices moved closer. She could tell that they were walking up from under the bridge.

"Yeah?"

"People."

Daryl scooped up the crossbow and walked over to where Songbird was standing.

"Hear them?" she whispered.

"Yeah, Get in the truck darlin'."

"What are you going to do?"

"Wait and see. At least get closer to the truck. For my peace of mind."

Songbird did as he asked. A few minutes later a bullet whizzed by Daryl's head and hit one of the parked cars. Songbird only half managed to hold back her shriek of panic as Daryl ducked.

"Ain't Walkers!" Daryl bellowed as he motioned for Songbird to crouch down. Her face had gone pale. "It's all right darlin'."

She went to her knees beside the front tire of the truck and tried to keep from shaking. There were no more bullets. The voices had risen.

"You're human?" the man's voice finally called.

"Fuck yeah!" Daryl shouted back.

"You friendly?"

"I'd be a hell of alot more friendly if I knew you wasn't gonna shoot me!"

"Sorry about that!"

That was the woman's voice.

"We're gonna come up," the man continued.

Daryl stood up cautiously and, when he could see that the man had put the gun away, he pulled Songbird to her feet. They eyed the pair struggling up the bank as Songbird held Michelangelo's collar tightly.

"Father and daughter it looks like," she began when the young woman slid backwards a little. The man grabbed her by the ass and pushed her upright, ending the gesture with a hearty smack.

"Christ, I hope not," Daryl answered as the pair got up onto the highway and began walking toward them.

"Put your arm around me," Songbird said suddenly.

"Why?"

"So that guy doesn't think what we just thought."

"Shit. Good point." Daryl slung his arm over her shoulders. "Damn good thing you're a shitty shot." He called by way of a greeting.

The man narrowed his eyes but the young woman beside him laughed.

"You just caught Abraham on a bad day. Hi! I'm Rosita."

Daryl looked Rosita up and down. She was young, maybe around Songbird's age, and she was damn pretty. She had a baseball cap on with her light brown hair pulled through the back of it to keep it out of her eyes. It didn't distract from her pretty smile and sparkling eyes. She didn't exactly seem to match the guy she was with. He looked at Abraham and saw that Abraham was apprasing him and Songbird the same way.

He saw Abraham give a quick smile under his handlebar mustache after he took a long look at Songbird followed by a quick glance at Daryl.. It took a second but Daryl returned it. Hell, it wasn't like there wasn't something to be proud of. His girl was something.

"I'm Daryl," he said. "This is Songbird."

"Songbird?" Rosita repeated. "That's a pretty name!"

"Thanks." Songbird gave her a smile. "I was just thinking that Rosita is pretty cool too."

"That dog trained?" Abraham asked suddenly with a glance at Michelangelo.

"Yeah," Daryl confirmed. "Where ya'll headed?"

"Think the days of being headed somewhere are over don't you?" Abraham asked.

So they didn't know about the radio station. Daryl saw Songbird glance at him and he took a moment to appreciate the question in her eyes. She was leaving it up to him.

"There's a town a few miles up the road," he said. "They're takin' people."

"What?" Rosita gasped. "Are you serious?"

"Yes," Songbird confirmed. "We heard it on the radio."

"There's radio?" Rosita's dark eyes shone. "Abraham!"

"Want to listen?" Songbird asked after another glance at Daryl.

"Yeah!"

The signal was stronger since they were closer. Songbird saw tears fill Rosita's eyes when she heard the DJ's voice.

"Have you been out there long?" Songbird asked. "Alone?"

"I've been with Abraham since the beginning. Well, almost the beginning. But it's been just the two of us since spring. I was starting to think we'd never find more people. That maybe we were the last ones on earth or something, you know?"

Songbird realized that she didn't. Not really. It was odd to realize that you'd been any kind of lucky during an apocalypse, but she'd always known there were other people in the world.

"Do you guys have a car?"

"Not anymore. It broke down. Abraham didn't know how to fix it."

"That sucks."

"The car sucked too. Once I got used to be able to walk without worrying about being eaten alive I remembered just how much I hated being driven around."

"Well I was just about to ask you if you wanted me to ask Daryl if you could ride in with us, but now..." Songbird trailed off with a smile as Rosita's eyes lit up.

"Really? You wouldn't mind?"

"I don't, but it's not just up to me. I guess I'd say that you've got my vote."

"Lets go ask now!" Rosita pulled Songbird out of the truck and they headed back to where Daryl and Abraham were still standing.

Daryl put his arm around Songbird when she stepped up beside him and finished his sentence, "It was probably just the battery. But it ain't like that's such an easy fix anymore."

"Yeah," Abraham agreed. "Hated to leave it though."

Daryl nodded and glanced down when Songbird tugged the back of his shirt.

"What you want darlin'?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Hang on," he said to Abraham and Rosita as he followed her to the cab of the truck. "What's wrong?"

His eyes scanned her quickly and she gave him a reassuring smile.

"Nothing. I just wanted to talk to you alone for a second. I think we should give them a ride."

Daryl rubbed his lower lip thoughtfully.

"Got a good feelin' about 'em?"

"Yes."

"I kinda think I do to. And either way, I think we could take 'em if we needed to."

Songbird laughed and kissed him quickly before she said, "For sure."

A/N: Finally got some time to get this done :) Just a few chapters left now!


	103. Chapter 99

1.

"The sign says it's the next left," Songbird pointed out as she read the wooden sign letter in red paint. It matched the rest of the ones they'd seen since they came off of the Interstate.

"Gotcha darlin'."

"So why are you pulling over now?" Rosita asked as Daryl steered into a wooded area and put the truck in park.

"Ain't plannin' on drivin' in there like a fuckin' dumbass," Daryl said. "We wanna be able to get out of here fast if we need to."

"So isn't it easier to get out fast in a truck?"

"Unless they take it. Ain't leavin' my truck, so we're walkin' in."

Songbird checked her knives and tightened her boot laces. "All right. What should we carry?"

"We'll take some food and water in the pack-" Michelangelo nudged his shoulder. "And you, you big idiot. Got your knives?"

"Yep."

"Machetes?"

"Yep."

"Good girl. Get your jacket."

"Daryl! It's not even cold! And you're acting parental. It's disturbing."

"Shit. Sorry."

Rosita giggled. "You guys are so cute!"

Songbird glanced back. Rosita was grinning at Abraham, but he was already moving out of the back of the truck and he didn't see her.

"Ya'll got everything you need?" Daryl asked as he locked up the truck and shoved the keys into his pocket. Songbird handed him his crossbow and he slung it over his shoulder.

"Think so," Abraham said. "Let's move."

They began to walk. Daryl slung his arm over Songbird's shoulders and gave her a grin when she looked up at him.

"Good day for a walk," he said simply.

"It's kind of pretty here," Songbird said.

"Ain't too bad," he agreed. "Used to look a lot worse. There's a crack house back there somewhere." He pointed to a vaguely house shaped lump of kudzu on their left.

"How charming," Songbird said with a smile. "Will you point out all the crack houses to me?"

"Hell yeah darlin'. I'll even show you the meth labs."

She pressed a hand to her heart and leaned against his arm. "You're wonderful."

"So what are we looking for?" Rosita asked.

"I'm guessin' we'll pick up some tracks soon," Daryl began.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that. We'll show you the way."

Daryl had shoved Songbird behind him and leveled the crossbow at the newcomers before Rosita could finish her gasp. Abraham drew his gun only seconds slower and the man who'd spoken threw up his hands quickly.

"Who the fuck are you?" Daryl demanded.

"My name is David," he said quickly. "This is Paul. We're scouts for the town. I'm guessing that you followed the signs to get here."

"Yeah," Abraham said. "What are you scouting for?"

"Survivors," David answered. "That's all. Have you heard us on the radio? We're just trying to help."

Songbird put her hand on Daryl's bicep. He was tense, but he lowered the bow. Abraham kept the gun trained on the man.

"Put it down," Daryl ordered.

Abraham turned and stared at him in disbelief.

"What did you just say?"

"You fuckin' heard me. Put it down. We're lookin' for people. We found 'em."

"Then why did I see you with a crossbow?"

"You wanna see it again? Up close?" The words were more of a snarl.

Abraham lowered the gun slowly. David eyed them cautiously.

"Rough start," Songbird said. "Hi. My name is Songbird. This is Daryl."

"And I'm Rosita. The guy with the gun is Abraham."

"So, do you want to head to our little town?" David asked, apparently not terribly concerned that he'd been held at gun and bow point just seconds ago.

"Yeah," Daryl said casually. "We thought we'd check it out."

"It's been so long since we've been in a town!" Rosita said enthusiastically.

"Well, I think you'll like this one," David said as they all fell into step. "The first thing we'll do is introduce you to Sebastian."

"Who's Sebastian?" Abraham asked.

"Well, I guess you'd say he's the guy in charge," Paul answered. "Everyone calls him the mayor."

Daryl stumbled into Songbird when she stopped in front of him. He put his hands on her shoulders and felt a shiver go through her body. She didn't move forward.

"What kinda guy is he?" Daryl asked.

"He's a good guy," David said in surprise as he looked at Songbird's pale face. "Is your daughter..."

"She ain't my daughter," Daryl snapped. "Tell me about the mayor."

"Well, he organized the town last year. We've been a lot more efficient since then."

"Efficient?" Songbird asked tightly.

"Are you all right?" David asked instead of answering her question. "We've seen so many people who have issues trusting us." HIs smile was kind. "People did horrible things during the sickness."

"During the sickness?" Daryl asked. "Ya'll sayin' it's over?"

"It seems like it," Paul answered. "Doesn't it? The survivors we've been getting all say that they haven't seen any fresh ones in months."

"That's true," Rosita said. "We haven't seen many, have we?" She looked up at Abraham and he nodded in grudging agreement.

Daryl wondered what his problem was and then it hit him. As they walked, Paul had put his arm over David's shoulders. Daryl had barely noticed; if anything it had been kind of nice. It reminded him of James and Rooster and a better time. Abraham apparently didn't feel the same way. Daryl put his arm over Songbird's shoulders and found that she was still a little tense, but not as stiff as she'd been before.

"Where are ya'll set up?" he asked.

"There are actually two groups," Paul answered. "We'll go to the historic homes first though. That's where you'll need to talk to Sebastian and he can set you up with a place to live. The other group lives in the trailer park."

"The one offa Singin' Pines?" Daryl asked.

"Yes. How did you-"

"This is my hometown," Daryl said. "They set up the historic district and the trailer park too?"

"It just made sense," David answered. "It was easy to connect the fences, to close it in. In both cases."

Daryl nodded. "Always said we was more alike than met the eye."

"So what are we doing now?" Abraham asked. "You said talking to Sebastian. What's he want to talk about?"

"Everyone contributes," Paul answered. "He wants to find out what you can do. It's basically a job interview."

"I've never had a job interview before," Songbird muttered nervously.

"Never?" Rosita asked in an undertone.

"Nope."

She fell back at little, letting the men pull forward.

"It's pretty simple," Rosita said. "They'll just ask you about your skills, what you like, what you hate, that kind of thing."

"Where did you work?" Songbird asked suddenly.

"A few different places," Rosita said with a shrug. "Retail mostly."

"How did you survive?" Maybe it wasn't the nicest question, but retail didn't seem to be filled with skills conducive to surviving an apocalypse.

Rosita's eyes flicked to Abraham and then to Daryl before she shrugged and smiled. "Same way you did. Don't worry about the interview, Songbird. I'm sure Daryl will stick up for you, make something up."

"He doesn't need to make something up," Songbird began, but Rosita just smiled again.

"Sure, kid. I'm sure you can do lot's of things he likes. I know I make sure to keep Abraham as happy as I can."

2.

Songbird fidgeted in the plush office. Sebastian was intimidating. Not because he was scary, but rather because he wasn't. He looked perfectly normal. Kind, even. Venerable. That was the word.

"So?" he asked again. "Name?"

"Oh! Um. Songbird."

"Real name," he said, this time with a brief hint of impatience.

"Songbird," she said, more firmly. "Is my name. Do you have a file for everyone?"

"Yes. Fine. Songbird." He made a note and then an impatient gesture with his right hand. "Last name?"

"Um." For the first time, she realized that Daryl hadn't called her his wife to David and Paul. She didn't have time to worry about what that might mean. "Let's just leave it at Songbird."

He sighed heavily, but he didn't press the point. He scribbled a few more things onto the page before glancing up at her through his spectacles.

"Well, Songbird. What are you good at?"

She glanced at his pen, poised over the paper, and took a deep breath. She had to prove that she was good at something, something real.

"I'm a decent cook. Like, campfire cooking..." she gave him a hopeful look, but he shrugged. "We have our share of cooks already."

"Oh. I...I'm a decent hunter."

"I'm afraid that's not a need either."

"I throw knives."

"We have a border patrol."

"I can sing," she offered with a weak smile. She hadn't felt this useless in a long time. Sebastian sighed and looked at her seriously.

"And I'm good with kids!" she blurted out.

He nodded and made a note. "Fine. You can help watch the children here while their parents work."

Songbird resisted the urge to fall out of the chair in sheer relief. "Thank you."

3.

"Your daughter has-"

"She ain't my fuckin' daughter," Daryl snarled. "And what the hell took you so long with her, anyway?"

"I had to find out what she can do," Sebastian answered. "Now, I need to find out the same about you."

"I hunt. I track. I fish. I kill Walkers. Take your pick."

"We have people for all those things."

"They ain't as good as me," Daryl said, leaning back in the leather chair and eyeing the man behind the desk. "You ain't from here."

"No," Sebastian answered. "I'm not. Now-"

"How'd you end up runnin' this place?"

"I'm usually the one who asks the questions."

"Then ain't this just a novel experience. Looks to me like you're tryin' to build up a little town here. You need people for that. You need me more'n I need you and you might as well face it. We ain't stayin' long anyway. Just wanted to show Songbird the place."

After a moment, Sebastian smiled at him. "We don't see many people just pass through."

Daryl shrugged.

"You do have to contribute something to stay here," Sebastian pointed out.

"Like I said, huntin', fishin' trackin', killin'...I'm also damn good at supply runs and before all this I used to roof and frame houses."

"There are a few places in town that still need repairs," the older man said with a nod. "And...now that you mention supply runs...we've got a...well, a trade agreement with a town up the way. We're preparing our offering...that is to say our trade, now. You could probably head that up, if you have experience with things like that."

"Yeah," Daryl said. "If I'm still here."

Sebastian nodded and then stood up, holding out his hand. Daryl stood as well and shook it briefly.

"Welcome to our little town," Sebastian said with a smile.

4.

"So you got babysittin' duty?" Daryl asked, watching as Songbird walked over to the window and stared down at the grounds. Sebastian had agreed to put them up in his house that night, all of them, Daryl, Songbird, Rosita and Abraham. He'd said that they'd find them permanent lodging the next day. Today was a day of rest for most people. David and Paul had been out for a walk actually; they hadn't been working at all. "As good as you are at all that other stuff?"

"That stuff doesn't seem to matter as much anymore," she said as she eyed the scrubby remains of trees flanking the road. At dinner, Sebastian had told them that this house had nearly burned down in the looting, but sheer determination from several members of the town and a lucky shift in the wind had saved it. She turned back to Daryl, who shrugged. "You've been kind of quiet. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I guess so." He sat down on the edge of the bed and shrugged. "Weird bein' back. Especially bein' here. You know, this is one of the oldest buildings in town. This shit's probably got historical value like crazy."

"I guess." Songbird stepped away from the window and put her arms around his shoulders.

Daryl tugged her down so that she was straddling him and kissed her neck. "Thought it might feel more like home," he admitted. "But it don't. Even if I am stuck in the same damn job as I was before."

"You are?"

"Yeah. Construction. And some supply runs later on, probably."

"To where?"

Daryl saw her brow furrow as worry crossed her face. He tugged her braid lightly.

"Some other settlement. I ain't real worried about it."

Songbird squirmed away from his next few maneuvers. "Are you really sure you should be doing construction right now, though? What about your back?"

Daryl stood up, cupping her ass and spinning her around. "Fine. See that shit?"

"I wasn't aware that roofing involved lifting 110 pound women and spinning them." She wrapped her legs around him as gently as possible and gave him a smile.

"Well, hell darlin'. I gotta do somethin'.."

He took a step backward and dropped her to the bed.

"You look like you're planning on doing something right now," she teased.

"Your own fault. You wouldn't let me shower with you. And you know if I get you in a bed this nice, I'm fuckin' you in it."

"It is a nice bed," she said appreciatively. "So soft and-"

Daryl took his shirt off. "And what?"

"I don't know. Other words. Come here."

Afterward, he lay with his arm around her shoulders and her head on his chest and tried to ignore the dull pain in his back. They didn't have to stick around for long, after all. Just long enough to ditch the newcomers and feel confident that he hadn't left them with a bunch of cannibals.

"Daryl?" Songbird whispered, her heartbeat picking up speed. Now might be a good time to tell him. After all, this was probably the nicest place they'd been in since they'd met. Where better than the antique four poster of a historical house in his hometown?

"Mmhm?" he asked sleepily.

"I've got something to tell you."

"Mmhm?"

"I'm...well...the thing is...I think I'm...well, I don't think it. I know it. I'm...I'm pregnant."

His deep even breathing was her only answer. He'd gone to sleep. She sighed and rested her head on his chest again. Oh well. She'd try again in the morning.

5.

"I forgot to mention it last night," Sebastian said at breakfast. "But you'll need to be checked over by one of our nurses."

Abraham frowned around his fourth egg, but Songbird only shrugged. It made perfect sense. Rick probably would have made them do it the minute they showed up.

Daryl swiped his toast through the remains of egg yolk on his plate and said, "Might as well get it over with. Ready, darlin'?"

"Sure. Love doctors," Songbird said with a sigh. She hadn't had a chance to talk to Daryl that morning because she'd woken up late. He'd already been talking with Abraham by the time she had gotten dressed and ready and now she was trying hard not to be annoyed. Having decided not to wait to tell him, she wanted to get it over with ASAP.

"We'll walk over with you," Rosita said cheerfully after Sebastian gave Daryl directions.

Songbird hung back to walk with her, since that was obviously what Rosita was hoping for.

"See?" she said. "I knew your guy would get you in here."

"Daryl didn't get me in," Songbird said. "I'm good with kids. Sebastian said I can help with that."

"Yeah," Rosita said with a laugh. "Me too."

"Rosita, seriously. I am good with kids and Daryl really didn't have anything to do with me getting to stay here."

"Oh honey, you're not in love with him are you?" Rosita stopped suddenly and looked at Songbird from under the bill of her baseball cap. "Fuck. You are."

"Of course I am! We've been together almost ever since this whole thing started and we've...I mean, we've had our ups and downs, but he loves me just as much as I love him."

Rosita sighed. "Look. Abraham and I have been together since the beginning too. But that doesn't mean that he feels the stuff he says he feels about me. I needed someone to keep me safe. He...well...men have needs."

Songbird tried not to let her shock and dismay show on her face. She knew it would only serve to make her look even younger than she already did. Rosita had bartered sex for protection? And she thought that Songbird had done the same?

"Look at them," Rosita said. "I mean, how old are you?"

"Twenty," Songbird answered. "But that's not-"

"Yeah right it's not. I'm 23. Abraham is 40. Daryl's...what? Close to 40?"

"38," Songbird said stiffly. "But we're not like that."

"I'm just saying that you've got to be realistic. Eventually, you're going to meet someone else and, in a place like this, it's okay. It's finally over!" Rosita's face lit up. "We can be safe here. We can finally be happy."

"I am happy," Songbird said in frustration, moving to catch up with Daryl and Abraham who were pulling the door of the office open. They all stopped short when a woman greeted them, glanced up and shrieked.

"Oh my God! Daryl, you're home!"

A pretty blonde woman dressed in scrubs flung herself into Daryl's arms and hung on tightly, pressing her face against his neck.

Songbird's mouth dropped open as he patted her back awkwardly and said, "Hey, Deena."


End file.
